Shadows of the Soul

Part 1

By Melissa Good

“Kill them.”

The man holding the scroll looked up, hastily averting his eyes as they fell on the cold, remote face of the woman sitting on the throne high above him. “Your majesty?”  He murmured. “Did you say…”

“Kill them.” The woman repeated, in a flat tone. “What part of that didn’t you understand?  We don’t have extra to feed useless mouths.”

“But.. they can be trained, surely.”

The woman rolled her immaculately coiffed head to one side, meeting the eyes of a tall soldier standing ramrod straight nearby. “Kill him.” She motioned towards the man with her cleanly sculpted jaw.

“Mistress.” The soldier drew his sword and strode towards the scribe. He ignored the look of stunned horror, and swept his arm back, whipping it forward and burying the blade to the hilt into the man’s chest.

With a single gurgle, the scribe fell to the ground.

The scroll rolled from his hand, tinkling across the stone floor.  The soldier wiped his blade on the man’s gown and turned, picking up the scroll and returning to the podium. He mounted the steps with smooth, muscular strides and knelt at the feet of the woman on the throne. “Mistress.” He offered her the scroll.

The woman pushed her embroidered sleeve back and extended a hand, closing long fingers around the wooden item.  She unrolled it and studied the writing, then rerolled it and handed it back. “Take them outside the stables and kill them. Give the slavers back old Octos’ body and tell them if they bring me useless merchandise like that again they’ll all end up like he did.”

“Yes, mistress.” The soldier took the scroll and rose, stepping backwards and ducking his head until he reached the foot of the dias. Then he turned and pointed to two other soldiers standing at attention nearby, giving them low, crisp orders.

They braced, then followed him, lifting the merchant’s body between them and dragging him out. His body left a smear of blood along the stone.

It wasn’t the first.

The woman leaned back in her seat and rested her forearms along the carved, wooden arms of the throne.  She gazed thoughtfully at the stains on the floor, then dismissed them with a flick of her fingers.  “Stanislaus?”

“Mistress?”  The castle’s seneschal approached, kneeling at her feet with sturdy grace completely unlike the soldier’s. He tipped his grizzled gray head back and gazed confidently at her, secure in his skills and value to his ruler.

“Any word from the north?”

“A runner, Mistress.” Stanislaus replied immediately. “But he has no news. Merely that the Bregos approaches, and all is well.”

Blue eyes so pale they were merely tinted ice narrowed. “When?”

“Tonight.”

Long fingers drummed lightly on the chair’s wood.

“By your pardon, Mistress, I’ve asked the garrison to be cleared, and Brego’s quarters prepared for him.”

A thin, not amused smile appeared on the woman’s well shaped lips. “Yes, I’m sure he wants a clean pillow to put his head on.” She replied. “Fine. Tell the staff we’ll dine in the public chamber tonight.” She got up, her surprising height towering over the kneeling seneschal. “Send the usual requests out. I’m sure everyone will want to hear what our… fortunate..  general has to report.”

“Mistress.” Stanislaus bowed his head in assent.

The icy eyes regarded him a moment, then the woman swept past his kneeling figure and continued down the steps. Already braced soldiers stiffened as she passed, chins jerking in the air.

She ignored them, but recognized the motion and approved of it. The soldier nearest the entrance leaned forward and pulled the big wooden door open. She strode through, emerging into the grand hallway with it’s towering, rounded ceiling and marble floors.

Her steps were soundless. The hem of her gown brushed lightly against the floor as she crossed the silent chamber and mounted the stairs curving up the far side. Halfway up, a thin, faroff scream echoed through the shuttered window.  She paused and cocked her head to listen.

Another scream,  abruptly cut off. The woman listened to the silence for a few heartbeats, then turned and eased through a small, almost hidden door and disappeared.

**

It was a stark, lonely yard full of exhausted and frightened figures. Most were just barely old enough not to be called children, but all had the look of hopeless despair as they stared around at the armored soldiers around them.

The stable doors opened and two soldiers came out dragging a blood spattered body. They dumped it on the ground and walked to the trough nearby, plunging their hands in and washing them.

Another soldier emerged and closed the door. He walked briskly over to where the slaves were huddled and reviewed them. Then he turned. “Bring me a crossbow.” He ordered. “Her majesty wishes them killed and the merchant who brought them posted as an example of what not to do in the future.”

The slaves gasped and clutched at each other. Two near the front held each other tightly, a tall, brown haired girl and a shorter blonde.

The guard captain waited as a bow was brought to him. Then he scanned the faces, and noted the girls. A thin smile crossed his face, and he pointed at the brown haired one. “Bring that one. Here.”

“No!’ The blond girl grabbed at the brown haired one’s arm.

Two soldiers advanced on them, taking hold of the brown haired girl. A third shoved the blond girl back with the butt of his spear.  “Get back.” The soldier yelled. “You’re turn’ll come soon enough!”

The soldiers dragged the girl forward and put her against a wooden pole, chipped and deeply scarred set in the center of the space. They held her in place, gazing at the captain with confidence as he took aim.  The girl froze, her eyes going huge and wide as she stared at the captain.

“NO!” The blond girl screamed again. The third soldier slammed the butt of his spear against her, knocking her down.   “No! No! Lilaaaa!!!!”

The crossbow fired. The girl slumped as the soldiers released her, sliding to the ground and crumpling over the arrow sticking out of her chest. The captain regarded her, then nodded and started to reload his bow. “Next.”

The soldiers went and grabbed a lanky boy, who struggled uselessly between them.

“No.” The blond girl whispered. “Oh no.”

“Hush.” A brown haired boy knelt next to her, watching the guards anxiously. ‘Shh… you can’t do anything now.”

“She was all that was left of my family.” The girl whispered. “Oh gods…”

“Well.” The boy gathered bravery from someplace. “You’ll be with her too, soon. And the rest of your family.” He told her. “We all will.”

The crossbow twanged.

“Next.”

**

Long fingered hands rested on the stone parapet overlooking the slaughteryard.  The woman watched as another body dropped, joining a pile of drab, slight figures already dragged to one side by the soldiers.

Intelligent blue eyes scanned the remainder. The woman walked along the parapet until she was over where the captain stood. She rested her weight against the stone, evaluating the scene.

The soldiers grabbed a small, blond girl. Her face was tear streaked, but she walked between the men with her head high, breaking only when she passed the pile of bodies as her hand reached out to a thin, lifeless arm poking out at the very bottom.

The men put her against the pole already slick with blood and her head fell back against it, her eyes lifting up to look at the sky, plaintive and searching.

Nothing but useless kids. The dark haired woman sighed, shaking her head. What a waste.

The guard captain raised his crossbow. The watching woman flicked her eyes over the remaining slaves, then she lifted her hand. She paused a moment, then placed her fingers between her teeth and let off a sharp whistle.

The captain jumped as though he’d been shot himself. He lowered the bow and turned, seeing her.  “Your majesty.” He headed quickly towards her, stopping before the wall and bowing his head. “Was it not done as you wished?”

“No.” Her low, musical voice echoed slightly.  “Brego’s on his way. They need the help in the kitchens.”  She indicated the remaining slaves. “Give them over, and clean the rest of this up.”

“Mistress.” The captain touched his temple in respect, and turned back. “All right. You heard her majesty.” His voice rose. “To the kitchen with this lot, and get that offal out of here.”

The woman rested her weight on her forearms again. The two soldiers released the blond girl, who let her arms drop to her sides as though they weighed twice what she did. The guard gave her a shove back towards the remaining slaves and she stumbled, catching her balance at the last moment.  The guard shoved her again, pushing her past where the slaughterhouse men were dragging out the bodies.

The girl looked at the bodies, then her head turned and she looked right up at the parapet, at the tall woman, dressed in elegant silks standing there watching.

For a moment, their eyes met.

Then the soldier shoved the slave again, and she was herded away with the rest of them.

The dark haired woman watched a moment more, until they disappeared. Then she turned and headed back towards the door inset into the thick castle wall.

**

The kitchen was huge. The tall ceiling was darkened from years of smoke from the fires, and large wooden block tables stood everywhere surrounded by hard working slaves, mostly women. The slavemaster shoved four of the new slaves inside the room and grasped the arm of a passing woman.  “Hilda.”

The woman stopped, and wiped her hands on her apron. “Aye sir?”

“New ones. Mistress handed em over, expecting Bregos and his men back tonight.”

“Ach.” The woman touched her forehead, glancing at the four newcomers. “B’gods, they’re children!”

The slavemaster shrugged. “They’ve got hands and eyes. Use em.” He turned and left.

The woman turned and looked at the travel stained, filthy figures huddled against the wall staring back at her. “Just what I didn’t need.” Her face hardened. “Look at you pieces of trash. Get inside that room over there, and wash before you contaminate the place.” She pushed them towards a door way, shoving them roughly along and through into a stark, cold chamber filled with stone sinks. “Alberot, give a hand here.”

A burly, cruel looking man joined her, wiping his hands on a blood stained apron. “New uns?”

Hilda nodded. “All right.” She looked at the newcomers in disgust. “Get me some rags to put on them. You lot get those clothes off, and wash down by the time I get back or you’ll feel the worse for it.” She turned and left, closing the door behind her with a hollow crash.

The four of them regarded each other warily. After a moment, the brown haired boy cleared his throat, and touched the side of a sink. “I guess we’d better do what they said.”  He looked at the blond girl standing a little off to one side, her face a silent mask. “C’mon. You don’t want to start off bad with them.”

“Leave me alone.” The girl pulled her sleeve free from his grasp and went to the far wall, sliding down it and circling her knees with both hands. “Maybe if I’m bad enough they’ll just kill me.”

“Hey, that’s no way to talk.” The boy went over and crouched next to her. “Listen, there could be worse places to end up. At least they’ll probably feed us here, not like on the road.”

“I don’t care.” The girl whispered.

“C’mon.” The boy put a gentle hand on her arm. “They’ll be back soon.”

The girl edged away from him. “Go away.”

“We should stick together.” He insisted. “In a place like this, you need friends.” He looked around at the others. “They took me when I was six. I know.”  He looked back at the girl. “You think they’ll just leave you alone? You think they’ll kill you? Oh no.” He shook her. “They’ll only make you wish you were dead for a long, long time.”

The girl looked at him. Her pale green eyes were bloodshot and exhausted.

“I know.” He repeated. “You think it can’t get worse? Trust me, it gets worse than this.” Slowly, he rolled up his dirty, brown sleeve and showed them the inside of his biceps. Burned deep into his flesh was mark, surrounded by twisted, scarred skin. “Those ones outside? That got arrows? They were lucky.”

The blond girl blinked, and a tear tracked down on either side of her face, carving a furrow in the dirt. She put her head down in her hands and swallowed, clenching her fists so tightly her bones showed through her skin with stark whiteness.

The brown haired boy looked around. “Dump water in that basin, quick. Before the old woman comes back. Hurry!”

After a frozen moment, the other two obeyed, taking up buckets and starting to fill the basin with water. The boy watched them, then turned back to the figure huddled against the wall. “Hey. What’s your name?” He touched her arm again. “My name’s Toris.”

The girl drew in a shaky breath and wiped her knuckles across her face. She looked wearily at him over her forearm. “Gabrielle.”

“Where are you from?”

The girl sighed. “Potadeia.”

“I know where that is.” Toris told her. “It’s not far from where I’m from.”

“Was.” Gabrielle whispered. “It doesn’t exist anymore. They burned it.”  Her eyes filled with tears again. “They burned my parents in the barn. I heard them screaming.” She inhaled. “I don’t know why they had to kill them.”

Toris looked around. “Because they couldn’t use them. They only take ones they can use, that’s all the one who runs this place will pay for.” He told her. “That’s why they were killing us. She thought we were too young.” He extended his hand. “C’mon. Do what they say. Once you’re okay here, you can figure out what you’re going to do next.”

Gabrielle stared at him. She really wanted to just close her eyes and have it all end. Fall asleep and just never wake up. The world was evil and cold, and she had no real desire to continue existing in it, in this dark, damp castle full of people who despised and hated her.

She’d been so close. She could still feel the wood of the post against her neck, and smell the stench of blood all around her. If she closed her eyes, she could see the cool, confident face of the guard captain, and hear again that damned whistle that had denied her peace.

Her eyes opened. “The woman you were talking about, who runs this place.. was it that woman on the ledge? The one who stopped the man with the bow?”

Toris nodded. “She’s the ruler of this place, and all the land around it.”

There was a loud bang from outside, and approaching footsteps.  “C’mon.” Toris whispered urgently. “You don’t want to get hit.” He pulled her arm, and this time, exhausted, she let him pull her up and over to the basin.

The other two were already stripped and washing, their faces sullen.  Toris pulled his shirt off, exposing flesh half covered in old welts and scars along with the one on his arm. He dropped the shirt to the floor and plunged his body into the basin, straightening and rubbing his arms to clean the dirt off.

With a sigh, Gabrielle swallowed, then removed her ragged shift, feeling the cold damp of the room sting her skin. She cupped some water and started washing, ignoring the curious eyes of the others. She lowered her head into the water and scrubbed her hair, then stood up and winced as the cold liquid coursed down her back.

The door slammed open, and the old woman returned, obviously angry. She had a younger, bitter faced woman in tow, and she thrust an armful of fabric into her hands as she surveyed the four half dressed, half washed figures.  “Not finished yet? I should have figured.”  Without warning, she snatched a broomstick with an end of well used twigs and whipped it towards them, catching the closest girl across the side of her face with it. “Now move, you useless pig scum!”

The girl crawled away from her, blood seeping from her cheek.

“Get them dressed, and bring them to the spits. We can at least use them to turn the roasts.” The larger woman gave the younger one who’d come with her a shove towards the basins, then she turned and stomped out.

“You heard her.” The younger woman told them gruffly. “Hurry up.”  Despite the words, she at least seemed a bit less harsh. “You don’t want to make Hilda mad. She’s a bitch.”

The four of them looked at each other, and made an effort to speed up, getting as much of the filth off their skins as possible with the cold water, and lack of soap.  Donning the patched, but dry rags they were given, they followed their new leader out the door, and back into chaos.

**

The royal quarters were on the northern side of the stronghold, high up in a tower that had only two stone walkways connecting it to the rest of the castle. An arched door, thick wood bound in iron strapping, blocked the path inside, but the guards braced outside it quickly opened it and stood aside as the quarter’s occupant approached.

She walked past them and into the inner hall without a word, cocking an ear until she heard the door close behind her. It was quiet inside, the walls hung with tapestries and the floors covered in fresh rushes that rustled slightly as she walked over them.

At the end of the hall was another door, and she paused as she reached it, laying a hand on the wood and going very still, closing her eyes and focusing her senses around her.

Nothing but the creak of the rafters overhead and a whisper of wind came to her. She pushed the door open and walked inside.

The door shut quietly behind her. Xena leaned on it and remained still, only her eyes moving as she scanned the inside of her quarters. After a moment she was satisfied that nothing had been touched in her absence. She walked across the richly carpeted floor to a plush seat behind an iron wrought table and sat down, reaching for the stoppered flask hanging from a knob on the side of it.

Her eyes flicked over the stopper from long practice before she removed it, pouring a cupful of it’s contents and leaning back in her chair to sip from it.

The room was full of rich grandeur. This outer chamber was her work room, her public room she had small audiences in of those aides closest to her interests.  Finely carved furniture was artfully arranged against the walls, the ceiling curved high overhead, it’s wooden beams etched and smoke darkened. Set into the stone walls were wrought iron sconces, each holding a neatly trimmed candle waiting to be lit as evening fell.

An inner door led to her private chambers. Two leaded glass paneled shutters opened onto a balcony just behind her, letting in light that spilled over her shoulders and picked out the silken embroidery in the gown she wore.

A stray sunbeam found it’s way into her glass, sending a splash of blood red color down the fabric covering her thigh. She turned her hand slightly, watching the reflection flow and spread. A soft laugh emerged, and she drained the cup, setting it down on the table and folding her hands over her lap just as a soft knock came at the door.

She drew in a breath from her gut before she spoke, adding a resonance to her tone she knew would carry. “Come.”

The door opened slowly, revealing the gray grizzled head of one of her aides.  He gave her a respectful nod, then entered and crossed the floor, coming to a halt on the other side of the table. “Mistress.”  He had a soft, lightly accented voice and surprisingly innocent blue eyes.

“Yes?” She watched his face.  “What is it?”

He held out two rolled parchments to her. “The season counts, your majesty. We’ve just finished them.”

Xena held out a hand and leaned forward. She took the proffered scrolls and sat back, setting one on the table and opening the other. Her eyes quickly scanned the writing, then she went back and went over it more slowly.

Her gaze lifted to his face.  He swallowed, his eyes blinking rapidly.

“Thirty percent lost to thieves, eh?” Xena remarked with deceptive mildness.

“That’s what the outer townships reported, yes, majesty.” The accountant answered.

“And you believe that, Yohans?”

The man fidgeted visibly.

Xena got up and circled the table. Yohans flinched as she passed behind him, but remained still. She moved around him with a smooth, catlike stride that rustled the silk fabric draped over her tall frame. “You believe that thirty percent of the tribute they owe me, was stolen, Yohans?”

He exhaled. “Not really, no, your majesty.” Yohans whispered. “But that’s what they told us.”

Xena leaned on the table and ducked her head slightly to catch his eye. “What do you think really happened?”

He looked at the floor.

She put the edge of the scroll against his chin and tipped his head up, forcing him to look at her. He was shaking, his hands twitching, so clearly terrified he couldn’t even speak. “I think those towns lied.”

His throat moved, but no sound emerged.

“I think you knew that.”

He stared at her. His teeth audibly chattered together.

Xena studied him impassively. She handed him the scroll. “Go back to them, Yohans. Tell those towns they either find their stolen thirty percent, or I’m going to come and take it out of them in skins.” Her voice dropped into a throaty growl. “Theirs.”

His hand came up and clasped the scroll. After a moment, he nodded. “Yes, Majesty.”

She watched him leave, his steps jerky and as rapid as dignity would allow. After the door closed behind him, Xena released a sigh, circling her table and dropping back into her chair. She rested her head against her fist, lifting her flask with her free hand and pouring herself another cup of wine.

By all rights, she should send a legion down to rip the tribute from the border towns. Giving them a chance, even this small one to back down and make good was a mistake, and Xena knew that. She took a swig of the wine. But she also knew with Bregos in the city, bringing his loyal troops with him, sending a legion of her own men elsewhere would be an even bigger mistake.

On the heels of a successful campaign, the bastard could even decide to go for it all this time, and make a run at her throne.

Xena’s pale eyes narrowed. Their rivalry was well known by anyone in the realm with half a brain, and so far Bregos had walked the razors edge of paying homage to her with sweet words, while building himself a power base with his undoubted military skills and personal charisma.

She should really just kill him. Xena took another swallow. But there was little doubt his conquests had enriched the realm and she’d walked a razors edge herself in taking what she could from him while keeping his ambition at bay.

She drained the cup and set it down, watching the thin film of crimson stain the inside of the clear glass. Then with a flickering motion, she snatched the cup up and whipped it across the room, smashing it into the back of the lightly flickering fireplace. Sparks flared up as the fire cleansed the glass.

Xena stood up, pushing papers aside on her work table with restless impatience. She studied the first of them, then shoved the pile away from her and left them, stalking towards her private quarters.

**

The loud crack made Gabrielle jump, even though her body ached so badly she could hardly move it. She looked up from the crank she was pulling at to see one of her fellow newcomers, the boy Alras, picking himself up off the floor.

“Stupid bastard.”

The activity in the kitchen had picked up as the day wore on, until now it was at a fever’s pitch. Liveried servers had started to arrive, and silver platters were being pulled down from hooks on the walls and set on the cleared work tables.

Gabrielle exhaled, then went back to her work. Her shoulders were almost numb from the effort. As she started pulling again a hand fell against her back and she stopped, pressing against the stone warily.

“All right.” The tall assistant cook had returned. “That’s enough… g’wan in the back room there wit everybody else, get some tuck.”

Gabrielle found herself nudged along with the rest of the kitchen slaves, filing into a chamber at the back of the kitchen that had benches along the wall and an air of long, hard use.  The room was already filling with bodies, smudged and tired faces surrounding her and edging towards a long, rough table at the rear.

Alras showed up at her shoulder, exchanging a tired grimace with her. They hadn’t spoken much, but their common experience at least gave them a veneer of familiarity with each other and Gabrielle found herself glad to see him there. She’d lost touch with the other two, the girl who’d been with Alras and the tall Toris – they had been taken by the butchers and lead away much earlier in the day.

They reached the table, and Gabrielle found herself handed a trencher and mug, plain but serviceable. She moved down a little and a man in a cook’s apron piled sliced meats and roasted roots on the trencher, topped it with a slab of bread, and pointed her towards a keg behind him.

She set the trencher down and filled her mug, then picked the wooden plate up and waited for Alras to join her. They took seats on a back bench and balanced the trenchers on their knees, setting the mugs on the floor next to them.

For a moment, Gabrielle simply sat there, glad of the stone wall at her back as she leaned against it and let her body relax. The room filled with more and more workers, some taking their plates and sitting right on the floor as the benches were taken.

“S’allright.” Alras muttered, his mouth full.

Gabrielle looked down at her plate. There was a surprising amount of food on it, meats sliced off the roasts she’d spent all day turning, and two kinds of roots. The bread was soft and fresh and she touched it in tired confusion.

Food since their capture by the slavers had been stale dark crusts, and if they were lucky, water. Despite her exhaustion and the fog of emotional horror, her body sensed the difference and she felt her mouth water. She pulled a bit of the bread free and put it in her mouth, chewing it.

It was slightly sweet and very rich.

Nothing like her mothers. Gabrielle blinked and swallowed past the lump in her throat. She put her head back against the stone and looked around her at the strangers in the room, bleakly aware of just how alone she was.

At least, on the trip here she’d had Lila.  Her eyes closed, and she clamped her jaw shut on a whimper. It had all happened so fast, she hadn’t even had time to say good bye to her sister and in her mind’s eye, she saw again the look of shock on Lila’s face as the arrow…

No.  Gabrielle forced the thought down. Hard as it was, she knew she couldn’t lose herself right now in the horror of it all. She opened her eyes and sniffled, wiping the stained sleeve of her tunic across her face before she straightened and refocused her attention on her surroundings.

Some glances met hers, and she was surprised to find shy curiosity mixed with indifference, and wariness in the eyes around her.

Maybe Toris had been right, she reflected, looking down and picking up a slice of the meat, setting it on a piece of the bread and taking a bite of it. Maybe this wasn’t the worst place she could have ended up, given everything.

With a shaky breath, she closed off thoughts of her family for now and concentrated on surviving, filling her stomach with the hearty meal and knowing there would be time enough, long, lonely hours in the dark to grieve.

**

Xena paused in the shadows of the entryway. Her eyes swept the big room, candles flickering in a myriad of holders and filling the space with warm light.  A low buzz of conversation echoed faintly, the tables inside filled with the high ranking nobles that made up her court.

On a raised dais was the head table. Behind it, positioned in the very center, was her ornate chair, gilded and padded with comfortable cushions. On either side, and extending to the end of the table were the seats of honor.  Xena’s custom was to select those she favored to sit there and competition for the honor was fierce.

Tonight, two of her dukes had gotten tapped, with their ladies. They stood nearby, carefully not approaching the dais without her presence, but close enough to indicate to all their favored position. Nearby also was Jellaus, her court musician, his harp tucked under his arm.

Two seats she’d left empty, anticipating the carefully orchestrated entry of her returning general. She knew Bregos wouldn’t make an appearance until after she did, until all were seated and he could come in with all the pomp and circumstance possible.

Xena sighed, wishing the damn night were over, finding Brego’s amiably antagonistic posing scraping her nerves red raw.  She twitched the silk gown draped over her tall frame straight and moved forward, clearing her throat softly to warn the guards at the door of her presence.

They stiffened, eyes flicking back to her, then forward again. The guard on the left fit his hand around a felt wrapped stick and straightened, mindful of the importance of his position. He lifted his arm in a grand, ceremonial arc and struck a bronze gong on the other side of the door.

Voices hushed.

“Her Majesty, defender of the realm, conqueror of the far lands, Xena the merciless.” The guard on the right boomed out.

The guards in the room snapped to attention. The nobles bowed their heads, the exquisitely dressed women dropped into perfect curtsies.

Xena let her eyes travel over them, taking control of the moment before she moved past the guards and into to the room, walking with powerful, slow deliberation as she made her way towards her high table.

As she passed Jellaus, he dropped to his knees, bowing his head in homage as his fingers stroked the strings of his harp, letting a trickle of soft music loose. Xena lifted a hand and touched his head, ruffling his thick, russet hair a little as she walked by and mounted the three steps up to the dais.

She paused in front of her seat, letting her fingers rest on the damask cover table. “You may rise.” She waited for them to do so, collecting the intent, watching eyes now facing her. “Tonight shall see the return of our long.. absent.. general Brego.” She let her tone drop slightly. “You will all join me in welcoming him.”

A low murmur of assent answered her. Xena inclined her head, then took her seat, setting her hands precisely on the gilded finials of her ornate chair, and allowing her silken skirt settle around her knees. She nodded graciously as her dukes approached, and accepted their platitudes with just the faintest hint of a smile.

**

"Get some rest." The grizzle-haired man told them. "There'll be plenty of work to do tomorrah.”

Gabrielle went with the rest of them, following the crowd of slaves down a drafty hallway. At the end of it was a large doorway, which outlined a set of broad worn steps.

They filed down in silence. As she reached the bottom of the steps and looked around at the large chamber a hand grasped her arm.

"Oh!" Gabrielle started. "Toris."

“Shh. C’mon.” The brown haired boy pulled her to one side. “Over here.”

Gabrielle looked around, but realized there wasn’t anyone there she knew any better than she did Toris. “Where are we going?”

Toris lead the way around a corner, edging past stacked tubs and into a dusty, unused section of the room. Gabrielle relaxed when she saw the other two they’d arrived with already there, sitting against the wall. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Alras murmured. “It’s kinda dirty over here, but all the other spots are pretty taken.”

“I don’t think I care.” Gabrielle looked around. The floor was covered in straw, and the only furniture was pallets of lashed together boughs to sit on.

“I got these.” Toris pulled out a stack of fabric and gave them each a folded, much mended bit of sacking. “It’s not a lot.”

Gabrielle took the offered cloth and sat down on one of the pallets. “Thanks. It’s sure better than nothing.”

The brown haired boy sat down across from her, and they were all quiet for a few moments, looking at each other. They were covered in grime, and in Toris’ case, blood. Gabrielle felt ten seasons older, and she could only imagine what she looked like, if her hands were any indication.

She was tired. Not just tired in her body, but in her soul.

Around them, she could hear the rest of the servants moving around, arranging themselves to rest, washing… ah. Gabrielle sucked in a breath. She could hear the sound of water running somewhere. “I think I want to clean off.” She said.

Toris grimaced a little. “Yeah, well.. they got a pecking order for that. We’re new. We’re last.”  He flexed a hand, wincing. “Found that out the hard way.”

Gabrielle sighed. “At least they fed us.” She knew she had to find something to do until their turn came at the basins. The thought of sleeping in the grime she was covered with was making her skin crawl, despite everything she’d gone through. “Want to see if we can make it a little more comfortable in here?”

No one really wanted to, least of all her. But they stirred and got up, eyes searching the tiny, drafty space. “I guess we can start with some straw.” Gabrielle said. “Looks like they have plenty of that.” Toris joined her as they started collecting handfuls, working together in silence.

**

The wine steward gracefully refilled her glass, and ducked his head in a bow.  Xena acknowledged him with a brief smile, then returned her attention to the duke on her right hand side..

“Your Majesty, of course we support your position to the utmost." Duke Lashay assured her. "You know my views on southern expansion have always been very enthusiastic."

"Of course." Xena leaned on the arm of her chair. "Since you stand to gain the most by it." She added a brief smile, daring him to refute it. He didn't.  But that was all right. Xena understood the hunger for land roiling in the man’s gut and didn’t fault him for it. “If we take and hold everything to the cliffs, you’ll be a busy man.”

Lashay leaned on the arm of his chair closer to her, and returned her smile. “Busy is, as busy does, my liege. I love it.”

Xena was about to answer, when she heard a creak, and looked up to see the big front doors opening up wide. “Ah.” She straightened, sitting up in her seat and arranging the silk folds of her gown. “Right on time.”

One of the guards struck his spear butt on the floor three times, and the sound caught the attention of the room. Xena placed her hands precisely on the chair arms, and inclined her head, watching the open door.

“B’your leave, Majesty.” The guard called out. “His Excellency, General of the armies, Bregos the magnificent wishes to enter.”

Xena toyed with the idea of saying no. Then she got her instincts under control, and gave a single nod of her head.  As if seeing the signal, two columns of military guards entered, lining a path all the way to her dais.  When they were in place, a set of heavy bootsteps approached. Xena kept her expression neutral as the doorway was filled with a bear of a man, easily over six feet tall and weighing twice a normal man’s weight.

He wore polished brass armor, and carried a sword strapped across his back with an intricately wrapped leather and bronze hilt. Despite his size, he moved with consummate grace and a fluid muscularity that proved his embellishments were functional, not just pretty.

Xena waited as he walked towards her, feeling a mix of regret and admiration for this, the greatest of her warriors. Bregos was intelligent, talented, a skilled war leader, a ruthless taker of lands in her name, and in the balance, very good looking. He only had one major thing against him.

He wanted her crown.  Xena studied the handsome, angular face drawing nearer. His eyes were on her, she knew, glinting behind the war helm settled on his midnight black hair. She sighed inaudibly.  Okay, two things. He also wanted her.

“My liege.” Bregos stopped before the dais, and fell to one knee, touching his chest in an apparent humble salute. “I have longed for this moment for many a moon.”

Xena’s eyes flicked over the audience, judging them with searing intent. She let Bregos remain kneeling for several heartbeats, then she slowly stood up, easing around her chair and making her way down the low, stone steps.  She stopped at the bottom. “My faithful Bregos. How good it is to see you.” She touched his helm with her fingertips.  “Tell me of your conquests.”

He lifted his head and let his eyes travel slowly up her body until they met her own.  They were dark, almost liquid black, full of mystery and difficult to read.  “I bring you great news, Mistress.  All the lands between here, and the river, fly your banner.”

A murmur went up, and even Xena’s eyebrows lifted a trifle. “Your ambition excites me, Bregos.” She drawled, offering her hand to him. “Come. Sit by me, and give me all the gory details.”

He took her hand in his larger one, and lifted it, brushing his lips across it before he stood. His muscular form towered over some of the guards and most of the nobles, but Xena’s glossy dark head was almost even with his, and despite his greater bulk he somehow couldn’t quite overshadow her.  She turned her back on him and walked back up onto the dais, leading him to the seat next to hers.

He stood at easy attention until she seated herself, then he settled next to her.  “At ease.” He gestured to his men.  They braced to attention, then turned and retreated, marching past the castle guard with arrogant disdain.

Xena picked up her glass and twirled it as the wine steward filled Brego’s goblet. He lifted his as well, and offered it to her. She touched her glass to his, then they both took a sip.  Bregos had been on campaign for six long moons, and she could feel the tension around him, smell the musky scent of power as he watched her over the rim his lips curved around. Six moons of being his own master, commanding his troops. Answering to no one, save paying lip service to her name as authority for what he did.  She could feel the danger in that, knowing his triumphant success in the field only bolstered his support here in her capital.

The rest of the table was listening intently, pretending not to. “So.” Xena kept her attitude relaxed. “Tell me about my new lands.”

“That I will, Mistress.” Brego rumbled softly. “Then, perhaps you will tell me what I have missed here at home, and how it fares with you?” He smiled at her. “You have not been far from my thoughts, through all my victories.”  He said. “I will lay my spoils out for you, and then, perchance, may you lay on me the honor of being your champion.”

Xena’s brow lifted slightly, edging towards her hairline. “As my senior general, isn’t that an assumption most would make?”

“Of the realm, surely, Mistress.” He murmured. “Of the realm.”

Xena sat back and cupped her hands around her glass. “Am I not the realm?”

He watched her in silence, with a faint, enigmatic smile. “With such a successful army, I have no need for a personal champion.” Xena stated, sipping from her cup. “Unless you’re warning me of some threat, Bregos?”

The big general held a hand up, returning the smiles of the Duke and his lady on the other side of the throne. “Never, Mistress.” He assured her. “But…”

Always a but. Xena eyed him with wry skepticism.

“Tis a big land now, Majesty.” Bregos reminded her. He opened his hand and laid it, back down on the arm of her chair. “Would it not be to your advantage to have a strong right hand to help  control it?”

Xena was aware of the covert attention focused on them.  The people liked Bregos. The nobles approved of him – he was of their class, and they felt comfortable with him. A lot more confortable than they were with her, as a matter of fact.  He was popular with his men, and on a personal note, he was good looking, had good hygiene, and could dance with the best of them. Many in the room fully expected her to make him her consort, and she knew it.

Bregos knew it.

There were, she acknowledged, far worse choices she could make to share her throne or her bed. Only problem was, Xena had no intention of taking anyone into her life.

Ever.

****

It was her turn at last.  Gabrielle trudged into the washroom, its stone floor slick with mud and water. She’d let the other three go first, wanting the moment of peace her solitude would afford her.  She faced the trough, it’s wooden sides worn smooth from countless hands. “Okay.” She unstoppered the water pipe and watched the rush of dark, cold liquid fill the trough. It was cold, and quiet inside the washroom; only a single torch guttering against the wall, releasing the scent of burning wood and tar into the air.

She replaced the stopper and leaned on the edge of the trough, catching a skewed reflection of herself on the surface just before she plunged her hands into the water. The chill stung her skin, but she took the tiny sliver of soapstone she’d found lying on the floor and scrubbed her arms, then managed a bit of lather and scooped it, and handfuls of water up to wash her face.

It smelled of tin, and earth. Gabrielle rinsed her face, blinking the stinging out of her eyes. She was shivering from the damp, but the feeling of being clean was overwhelming and she steeled herself as she ripped off the rags she was wearing and swung herself over the edge of the trough, landing on her knees. The water surged up around her torso, sending a shockwave of cold through her, but she stuck it out. The soapstone lasted long enough for her to wash herself all over, and she ducked her head under the water to rinse it before she jumped out of the trough to stand naked on the floor with her teeth chattering.

The bit of linen Toris had given her was just enough to cover her body. She wrapped it around her while she took the rags, washing them out as best she could and wringing them dry. After she’d gotten out as much water as she could, she hesitated, looking at the trough and wondering how to get the water out. Her eyes tracked two worn tracks in the floor, and she realized she’d have to drag the basin to the door and dump it outside.

“Gods.” Gabrielle whispered, wondering where she’d find the strength to do it. She rested her forearms against the trough and put her head down.  For a while, she just let the shivers work their way through her, the cold amplifying the ache of her body from the long, hateful day.  She closed her eyes and felt the heat of tears trickle down her face, chilling to ice as they dripped into the water.

“Da.”  Her breath stirred the murky liquid. “Wake me up, please?” She pleaded softly. “Tell me it’s all just.. a bad dream. I want to wake up and smell mama’s tea, and hear the sheep outside, and listen to Li..” She had to stop, the silent sobs jerking her chest. Slowly, she dropped to her knees, then turned and sat on the ground, wrapping her arms around herself and giving in to the horror at last.

**

It was late by the time dinner ended. Xena stood at her place, and waited for everyone to hastily stand and bow, then gave them all a gracious nod. “Our army has brought us rich new lands.” She said. “Tomorrow , we shall lay claim to them and reward those who have been loyal to us.”

A low murmur of approval spread. You could almost smell the greed in the air.

“Perhaps, my liege, the good general will also be gifted with a reward he treasures?” Duke Whatisface’s lady asked, in a soft, gentle voice.

Another murmur rose, and Xena kept a carefully remote smile on her face as she heard the whispers. “What the general is rewarded with is between myself and the general.”

“Mistress, I need no reward save your favor.” Bregos rumbled, ducking his head with a courtly flourish. “I am your man.”

Gee. Almost as good as finding mice in the bedroom.  Xena, however, favored him with a brief smile, aware of the scrutiny. “My faithful friend.” She murmured. “What more could I ask for than a strong right hand like yours?”

Bregos smiled at the compliment. “Permit me the honor  of escorting you to your chambers, my liege? I see this evening’s revel is concluded to your satisfaction, is it not?”

There was really no polite way for her to refuse. Xena almost did anyway, but she’d learned, in the years since she’d taken the throne, to pick her battles wisely. She knew brushing Bregos off, in the moment of his obvious triumph might put her favor of him in doubt, but might also put in question the support of the dukes Bregos had just greatly enriched by his conquests.

Xena felt the tension of a long day settle over her. She gave Bregos a brief nod, then turned and walked down the stairs. Bregos joined her and they walked side by side through the room, as the crowd bowed before them.

The two guards at the door stiffened and eyed her as she passed them, and she made a small hand signal. They relaxed and remained in place, facing forward again to watch the room as it emptied.

“The iron caves you found sound lucrative.” Xena remarked, as their footsteps scuffed slightly on the rushes. “I’m sure our smiths will put the material to good use.”

“Aye.” Bregos nodded gravely. “New arms, to start. I picked up half a legion of good men eager to take up the sword.”  He glanced sideways at her. “How has it been with you, my liege? Things are well here?”

“As well as they ever are.” Xena answered. “The harvest was good, and only a few rumors of raids have come in from the north.”

“I have heard of a new threat.” The general said. “Boat raiders, wild men have been taking the cities down the river. I’m afraid we might be their next target.”

Xena had heard that as well. “Their last target.” She stated mildly. “If they’re stupid enough to try it.”

They turned the corner, and started up the steps. Bregos held his tongue until they reached the top landing, then cleared his throat. “And well they might be… Mistress.”  His voice lowered. “To out side eyes, how rich a prize would our lands be? They are rich, and fertile… and ruled by a woman’s hand alone?”

Xena stopped before the doors to her outer hallway, and turned. She regarded him coolly, the torchlight catching glints off her pale eyes.

“They do not know you, Mistress, as we do.” Bregos pursed his lips. “Tis a risk.”

Xena let her gaze drop to one side, then she lifted her head and pinned him with a fierce stare. “I’ll take the risk.”

“Mistress..”

“Good night, Bregos.” Xena turned and unlatched the door, pulling it open and walking through. She closed the door behind her, shutting off his protests.  There would be fallout from that, she knew, but her patience was at it’s razor’s edge and at the moment, she really didn’t care.

She walked across and into her bedroom, kicking off her shoes on her way to the window.  The shutters were open, and she leaned against them, letting the cool night air brush against her.  The moon was rising, and she watched the shadows lengthen as it’s  light poured across the stone walls, touching her as she stood in silence.

After a pensive moment, she turned and reached up to undo the catches on her gown, stripping the fabric off and letting it drop over a plush chair.  Naked, she continued on to her garment press and pulled it open.  Impatiently, she pushed aside the beautiful silken garments, removing a swath of dark, coarser fabric she casually slung over her shoulder.

Her ears cocked as she heard someone approaching, but she relaxed again as she identified the gentle footsteps of Iridia, her almost ancient body servant.  She didn’t even look up as the door opened.

“Mistress?” Iridia’s voice quavered. “Anything you be needing?”

Xena turned as she shook out the garment she’d taken from the press and slipped into it, lacing it up the front of her body. “Nothing.”  She told the woman. “Go to bed, Iridia.”  Her hand wrapped itself around  a thick leather strap, and she lifted it as she walked towards a small, nondescript door in the back of her quarters.

“But Mistress, it’s long past midnight!” The old woman protested. “You need your rest!”

Xena paused with a hand on the doorframe, and looked back at her. “Go to bed, Iridia.” She repeated. “I haven’t had a mother since I was six years old. I don’t need one now.”

Chastened, the woman’s eyes dropped. “M’pardon, Mistress.”

Xena continued on her way, her bare feet making not even a whisper of sound.

**

Gabrielle finally ran out of tears. For a little while, she simply sat on the ground, her eyes closed, resting her head against her forearms.  Her head was pounding painfully, and her chest ached. She was aware of the noises of the castle around her fading, though, and she knew she’d have to get up and go back to the others before someone found her here.

She lifted her head and took a weary breath. The torch had burned low, but her eyes had adjusted, and she found the strength to pull herself to her feet and face the trough.

There were handles on the ends.  Gabrielle flexed her hands and curled her fingers around them, feeling the iron bite into her palms. She leaned her weight back and pulled.

Nothing happened. She pulled harder, shoving against the ground with her thighs. The wood of the trough creaked slightly, but otherwise didn’t budge an inch. She paused to rest, studying the tub in frustration.

Maybe there was another way. Gabrielle turned and looked around, searching for a bucket. She spotted one in the corner and trudged over to it, picking it up and returning to the trough. She scooped a bucketful up and walked to the door, pushing it open with her shoulder. A gust of air hit her, rich with the scent of old blood and decay and she realized where the door lead her.

The slaughteryard.  Gabrielle felt her hands clench on the bucket, a tremor running through them. It was dark in the yard, mercifully, and she steeled herself to step out into it, tossing the bucketful of water out across the dirt.

It hit with a sodden thud. Gabrielle paused and listened to the echo of the place, the soft whispers of the wind across it’s empty breadth sounding almost like voices.

Was one of them Lila’s?

Resolutely, she turned and went back inside, to repeat the process.

**

The room was square. The floor was stone block, bare of any rug or grass to soften its bite.  Torches fluttered in sconces along the wall, sending shadows skittering everywhere.

In the center of the room a figure stood ramrod straight, hands wrapped around the hilt of a sword.  After a moment of stillness, the figure slid into motion, swinging the sword in slow, gentle arcs that described a rhythmic pattern.

Half circles became full ones, then full ones became winding figure eights. The hands gripping the sword connected to corded wrists where tendons stood out starkly under the strain.

The figure moved forward, taking half steps, continuing on into a circle as the sweep of the blade whispered in the air. The strokes extended out, moving from just in front of the tall body to either side. Muscles strained, and the face behind the whirling blade took on a grimace of concentration.

Steel cut the air in an audible scream.

The strokes slowed, then paused for just an instant. Then the powerful figure shimmered back into motion, lunging forward into an attack on an adversary built solely in the imagination.  The blade whipped and sang, parrying and thrusting with exquisite skill.

Arms extended and locked, legs spread for balance, the blade spun in a circle, then dipped and cut savagely through the firelit space. The pace sped up again, and then the figure bolted into motion, directing the sword one handed on the run.

Around and around the room. Sword flying from one hand to the other, steps alternating with jumps turning into full body rolls that launched upward into leaps.

Minute after minute, without pause or slacking of pace. The warrior drove through motions and skills, soft grunts of effort at last escaping lips dripping with sweat.  A final drive, sweeping across the room in long, powerful cuts ending near the window in one last blaze of steel.

Circles, growing tighter and tighter, faster and faster.

Then the figure dropped to it’s knees, driving the blade downward to meet the stone. A spark flew from it’s tip as a fierce yell echoed through the chamber.

In the silence that followed, the torches fluttered loud, drowning out the lightly labored breathing.

Xena closed her eyes, and rested her forehead against her sword. Her entire body was vibrating, trembling on the verge between exhaustion and exhilaration. Her hands were still clenched around a hilt so heated she could feel the warmth against her face.

A cool breeze blew in, lifting the sweaty hair off her forehead. She sucked in a deep breath, silently reveling in the only peace her soul had ever known, exhausted by the only freedom she’d allowed herself for a very long time.

She blinked and looked up, resting her cheek against the sword. She could smell the brass of it, and the leather wrapped around the hilt, and the earthy scent of the stone under her knees.

Her secret. Xena had to smile, just a little. Underneath her expensive silk gowns and carefully arranged hair, underneath the façade of fragile royalty lurked the body of a warrior, honed to a fine temper from hours spent alone in this very room.

Personal champion? A soft, wry chuckle forced its way out.  She needed no bodyguards, trusted no soldiers ripe for bribery to keep herself whole.

Her loyal men knew it. In her days of  warlording she’d ridden the field with them and proven on countless bodies her skill at the deadly art of war.

But that was in the past. Enough time had gone by that the people she ruled had forgotten her origins, or discounted the stories. To them, she was their queen, their ruler – a high and remote figure who held her power in a tight, uncompromising fist.

She could have lived the role. Taken on guards to keep her safe, and let her skills slip away with time, and soft living. The kitchens certainly knew her tastes, and there was no voice to deny her if she’d wanted to indulge herself.

She’d chosen otherwise. She’d kept the discipline she’d learned when barely out of childhood  and now she used these late night sessions to cope with the stress, and the isolation of the position she’d taken for herself.

The room she was in had only one door, that lead to her chambers. One time, for another ruler, the space had been a harem. She’d turned it into a sparse, starkly functional place for her to loose the energy and frustration of her daily life, hidden from prying eyes.

Energy returned to her, and she lifted her head, straightening her body up and settling back on her heels. After a moment more, she stood up and walked to the window, dropping down onto the cold stone and gazing out across the stone walled yards below.

It was late, and silent in the darkness. Then a crack of light caught her eye, and she leaned forward, watching as the door to the kitchens opened and a slight figure emerged. It held a bucket, and as she sat there on her perch, the figure emptied the bucket and turned, leaning against the door for a brief moment.

There was weariness in the movement. Xena studied the figure in idle curiosity, wondering why a slave was out working at this late hour. Surely they’d cleared the halls already. She rested her arm on her upraised knee and leaned her chin against it, as the figure straightened and disappeared.

Peace returned to the courtyard. Xena remained where she was, letting her body cool off and the breeze dry the sweat coating her. Another sound drew her attention, though, and she returned her gaze to the door, watching it swing open again. Dim light from inside poured out, outlining the body of the slave, this time facing away from her.

Xena watched as the figure backed into the courtyard, obviously straining at some task. The body jerked hard, and the edge of the wash basin came into view. With a final pull, the basin was out, and the slave turned to it in sudden, visible anger and pulled it over onto it’s side.

She could hear the faint splash of the water as it emptied.  Her head cocked to one side as her eyes followed the slave’s slight figure as the woman – the outline definitely showed it to be a woman – left the basin and walked across to the post set in the middle of the yard.

A hand reached out and touched the scarred wood. Xena could not see the face from where she was, but the tense anger and anguish were evident and she wondered who the slave was.

The slave stepped closer, then leaned against the post. She remained still for a moment, and then she backed up and with shocking violence, swung the bucket she had in her right hand against the wood with a solid, startling crack.

Xena jumped a little in surprise. Her hand clenched on her sword hilt, though at this distance she was obviously in no danger. She watched in fascination as the slave swung the bucket again and again, until finally a bit of the post flew off.

The slave staggered slightly. She dropped the bucket and retrieved the piece of wood, studying it in the dim light from the kitchen door.  She closed her hand around it, and then retreated, picking up the now battered bucket and tossing it into the trough.

Now what, Xena wondered, was the woman up to?  The slave opened the door wider, shoving it back before she turned and started pulling the trough back inside. For a moment, her face was outlined in the torchlight.  Xena pursed her lips thoughtfully as the young profile struck a chord of memory from earlier that day.

One of the new ones.

The rags the slave was wrapped in didn’t hide much. Xena could see the potential for strength in the just past adolescent frame, but also… Her eyes lingered.  A faint smile, wry smile crossed her face and she glanced away.

When she looked back, the slave had the trough back inside. She walked to the door and gazed out briefly over the yard, then she exhaled, her shoulders slumping, and swung the door closed.

Darkness returned to the yard.

Xena remained in the window, looking thoughtfully at the closed door. Dragging that damn trough out was at best, a two person job. Why hadn’t the slave just asked for help?  Why do it alone, and why the strange attack on the post? Why take the piece of wood? For a weapon?

With a soft grunt, Xena got up and sheathed her sword, allowing her mind to work on the puzzle as she wrapped the leather straps around the sheath and made her way out of the training room.

Interesting. She mused, glad of something, however trivial, to take her mind off Bregos and his machinations. Very interesting.

**

“Gabrielle.”

There was a moment of total incomprehension. She could feel the hard pattern of branches pressing against her cheek, and she wondered where she was.

“Gabirelle!” A shake on her arm became insistent.

She opened her eyes, and looked up, to see Toris crouching next to her, the room behind him still dim and quiet. “Huh?” Memory flooded back, knowledge settling in the pit of her stomach like a bad meal. “Oh.”

“Shh.” Toris sat down cross-legged next to her. “I heard the cooks start to get up. It’s almost dawn.”

Gabrielle lifted herself up from where she’d collapsed the night before into a sleep so deep she doubted she moved an inch since. “Buh.” She rubbed her face with one hand, trying to dispel the cobwebs. “Why’re you up?”

“I just couldn’t sleep.” He admitted.

“Ah.” Gabrielle slowly pushed herself up, every muscle in her body screaming in protest. “Oh, gods.” She winced, pulling her legs into a crossed position. Spending the night in a half crouched position under the spit had cramped her back and thighs and now they were forcibly reminding her of it.

“Sore, huh?” Toris held his hands out, which were red and blistered. “Me too.”

Gabrielle straightened up, feeling the unpleasant sensation of her spine popping. “Yeah.” She whispered. Her eyes lifted and took in her dark surroundings and she found herself swallowing a lump in her throat. “You know, it’s funny.” She managed to get up. “I always dreamed about leaving home and seeing different places.”

Toris coughed slightly.

“Now all I want is to be back there.” Gabrielle rested her head against her hand. “And I  can never go home again because it’s all gone.” She stopped, biting the inside of her lip. “All gone.”

Toris patted her shoulder awkwardly. “I know.” He said. “It’s tough.”

Tough. Gabrielle felt like she was suspended over a chasm of hopelessness. “I hate this place.” She murmured. “I hate these people. I hate how they take everything from you and they don’t even care.”

Her companion scooted closer. “Yeah.” He said. “That’s the worst part. The one who runs this place has no heart at all. She’d just as soon kill you as look at you. See what happened to the others yesterday? To your sister? She’s an animal”

Gabrielle remembered. “Yeah.”

“She destroyed my family, too.” Toris told her, in a low voice. “If I can do something about it, I will.”

“What?” Gabrielle looked at him, startled.

“Shh.” Toris looked around. “Forget it.  Listen, we can get some cereal if we go help bring in the water. Want to? I’m hungry.”

Gabrielle took a breath to protest, then felt a rumble in her stomach. “Okay.” She sighed. “Probably hurt less if I move around anyway.”

He held out  his hand to her as he got to his feet. “C’mon.”

She took his hand and let herself be hauled up onto her feet. “I need to go splash some water on my face.” Gabrielle admitted. “I’m sure I look like a half shorn sheep.”

That got a smile out of the dark haired boy. “Nah. C’mon.” He led her off, still holding her hand.

**

Xena put down the bit of bread and picked up the porcelain cup to take a sip from it. She rolled the sweetened, herbal tea in her mouth, enjoying the taste before she swallowed it.

The sun was pouring in the windows behind her, coating her silk clad shoulders with warmth and she paused to stretch her body out, appreciating the sense of well being it afforded her.

She reached for the bread again, then stopped when a soft knock came at the door. Her head cocked at this unusual intrusion, knowing that she was very seldom interrupted this early unless there was trouble.

Xena’s eyes narrowed. “Starting early, Bregos?” She murmured. “Come.”  She called out.

The door opened, and the grizzled head of her seneschal appeared. “Mistress.” He glanced apprehensively at her. “A moment of your time, I beg of you.”

Uh oh. “Come over here, Stanislaus. What’s the problem?” Xena asked, in a crisp tone.

The seneschal entered and crossed to her sitting area near the window. “Mistress, a terrible thing. Eridia was found this dawn at the bottom of the kitchen stairs. She must have fallen in the night.”

Xena steepled her fingers, absorbing this unexpected news. “Dead?” She asked.

Stanislaus nodded.

The old woman had been her chamber servant since she’d taken the throne, but Xena found herself not unduly  upset at her passing. Eridia had been getting more and more anxious recently, and her overly solicitious attitude had been getting on Xena’s nerves.

However, it did pose a problem for her, because the position now had to be filled. Xena knew any of the other, older servants, assigned to different parts of the stronghold or serving her court would be glad to step into the slot, but…

But. They’d all been there long enough to be compromised, and by nature, her chamber servant would have access to her in the most intimate of ways. “She have any family?”

“No, Mistress. Her children passed two seasons back, in the fever.” Stanislaus murmured. “She always said you were the only family she had left.”

A dark brow lifted. “Sad.” Xena shook her head. “Bury her.” A thought occurred to her. “Assign one of the new batch we were stuck with yesterday up here.”

“But, Mistress..” Stanislaus protested. “They’re imbeciles. Children. Completely untrained. I can’t have you suffering so.. “

Xena waved him off. “I don’t take that much care, we both know that, Stanislaus. I’ll break them in, or break them soon enough. I’d rather have a nitwit up here than someone who’s had a chance to take a bribe to put an asp in my bed.”

His lips pursed, acknowledging the point. “As you say, Mistress.”

A faint smirk crossed Xena’s lips. “Pick me someone good looking this time. If I have to put up with incompetence, at least give me something nice to see.”

Stanislaus crossed his arms, and fingered his bearded chin thoughtfully. “Not much to choose from there, I’m afraid.” He remarked, giving Xena an apologetic look. “Scrub peasants, all of them, m’lady.”

Xena sipped her tea. “Poverty doesn’t preclude handsomeness, Stanislaus.” She replied, in a dangerously soft tone. “Unless you consider me ugly. I was born in one of those peasant villages”

Aware of his faux pas, the seneschal’s face colored. “No offense, Mistress. You are the furthest thing from ugly.” His eyes fastened firmly on the floor.

A dry chuckle emerged from the watching woman. “Take a good look at the walking dirt clods. You might find a surprise in there. You know my tastes, Stanislaus. Fill them.”

“Majesty.” The seneschal ducked his head, then turned and escaped out the door, leaving Xena to finish her breakfast.

“Hm.” Xena studied the empty room. The idea of something new and different in her close environment stirred her interest, and she found herself more willing to consider her potential servant over her old problems with Bregos.  “Wonder if he’ll pick the weird one?

**

The early kitchen was much more appealing somehow than it had been the night before. Gabrielle lifted a sturdy bucket of water and brought it over to the huge pot, tipping it in and stepping back out of the cook’s way.

“Good.” The middle aged, muscular woman approved. “That’ll do it.” She had a big stirring paddle, and now she inserted it into the pot and started mixing the bubbling contents.

Gabrielle set the bucket down and looked around for something else to do, but the breads were done, and the fruits were already cut up and on trays.  The rest of the servants were filing back into the common area and she followed them, glad enough to grab a mug of cider and a wooden bowl of the thick cereal with a few ends of the fruit and a bit of bread resting on top of it.

Toris had disappeared again. Gabrielle looked around for him, then she moved to a back corner of the room and sat down on a bench, using the bread to scoop up some of the cereal and eating it.

As she ate, she listened to the conversation around her. The servants were buzzing with talk of one of the elderly slaves, who had fallen to her death that morning.  “That’s terrible.” She shook her head.

“Worse than.” The man who had been speaking turned to her, wiping his mouth. “Eridia had her own spot in Hades, she did.  Poor thing.”

“Mouth of the River Styx, she slept in.” Another woman agreed. “Always jumping like a scared owl, the Gods only know what she had to suffer up there.”

“What did she do?” Gabrielle asked, curiously.

The answer was abruptly cut off as two of the guards entered the common room  “You lot!”  The older one called out. “All of you who came in yesterday, come forward!”

The few people around Gabrielle looked at her. Feeling sick, Gabrielle set her bowl down and stood, joining the few others from the slave train as she walked hesitantly towards the guards. “Now what/” She whispered.

“Nothing good.” Alras was at her elbow. “Gods help us.”

The guards studied them. “Rats.” The elder one shook his head. “The man must be crazed.”

“Is it me you speak of?” A new voice broke in, and the guards snapped to attention, pressing back against the stone walls.  Two more guards, dressed in royal livery appeared, flanking a man in silken court garb. “Do you question my royal orders?”

“M’lord.” The guard muttered, chastened.

The gray haired man ignored him, walking forward and examining the small group as the rest of the slaves watched in utter silence. He walked slowly from one to the other, looking them up and down with serious eyes.

He stopped at Alres, putting a single finger on his chin and turning his face to the light. “Stand over there.” He pointed to the door, giving Alras a shove before he continued down the row.

Gabrielle was the last in line.  The man stepped in front of her, and she could smell the rich scent of his silken garment and the smell of rose soap that drifted off his body as he lifted a hand and touched her cheek.

His face was stern and creased with lines, but she didn’t see cruelty in it. He had a well shaped nose and shrew eyes that narrowed just a bit as they met hers.

After a moment, he dropped his hand and turned, walking back towards the door. Gabrielle exhaled in utter relief, finding herself shaking as she concentrated on keeping her knees locked.

The man paused as he reached the guards. He examined Alres, laying a hand on his shoulder.  The boy looked up at him, obviously terrified, his jaw jerking as he tried not to let his teeth chatter.

The man’s hand dropped, and he swiveled, looking back at the line of slaves.  With a vexed sigh, he shook his head and pointed at Gabrielle. “You. Come with me.”

Gabrielle stared at him in shock. Hands gently pushed her forward, along with whispers.

“Good luck.” The older man said. “You poor thing.’

As though in a dream, she stumbled forward, and the liveried guards took hold of her arms. Her eyes met Alres’ for a brief moment, then she was being pulled out and taken away.

**

Continued in Part 2

Shadows of the Soul

Part 2

By Melissa Good

Gabrielle found herself in a stone antechamber, having been shoved there by the noble that had taken her from the kitchen and told to stay put. Disoriented and confused, she decided to obey, finding a small stool near one wall that she sat down on.

Her eyes searched the small chamber, it’s walls hung with tapestries that tickled her nose with the scent of wool. They were sedately colored, in blues and reds and bore dignified patterns and she found herself studying them since she had little else to do.

Except worry, of course. Gabrielle rested her hands on her knees and exhaled. Just when she’d been getting a tiny sense that she could learn to cope with her new life, it was jerked out from under her and she was thrust into something else even more strange, and by the reaction of the other slaves, more dangerous.

Well. She leaned her head back against the wall and tried to calm her churning guts. It really couldn’t get any worse, could it?

The noble returned. He had several swaths of fabric laid over his shoulder, and he paused to regard her with weary, wry eyes. “What is your name?”

“Gabrielle.”

The man nodded. “Gabrielle. Well, at least we don’t have to change that. It’s suitable.” He put the fabric down. “I am Stanislaus, her majesty’s seneschal.”

Gabrielle guessed that she was supposed to be impressed by the title. She had no idea what the correct reaction was, so she simply looked at him in question.

“You have no idea what you’re here for, do you?”

She shook her head no.

The seneschal shook his head in obvious disgust.  “Stand up.”

Gabrielle did so, easing slowly off the stood and straightening as he closed in on her. She flinched slightly as he reached up and gripped her chin, her body tensing for the blow she imagined so vividly in her mind.

“Be still.” Stanislaus commanded. “I won’t hurt you.”

She watched him as he examined her, jerking only a little when he pushed her lips back and checked her teeth as one would have a mule.  Finally he released her and stepped back, looking her up and down. “Come with me.”  He led her down a narrow corridor and up a flight of stairs. The walls were close, they could only have walked single file, but they were well kept and clean.  “This is the servants stairs. You must always use these stairs. Do you understand?”

“All right.” Gabrielle answered, in a low voice, deeply at a loss. “What am I going to be doing that I need to walk up and down them?”

The seneschal glanced over his shoulder at her. “Her majesty’s chamber maid had a mishap this morning. You will replace her.”  He continued up the stairs.

Gabrielle stared at his back in shock. “But…”

He turned and looked at her again. “What?”

“I don’t know how to do that.”

The seneschal sighed and shook his head again. “I know. But you will, child. You will.”

Her Majesty. Gabrielle remembered, with a cold chill, that dark, remote figure standing on the walkway, high over head. Dealing life or death at a whim.

She remembered Lila’s scream. Gabrielle’s eyes fluttered closed for an instant, the scream melding into the high whistle that had callously kept the arrow from her own throat.

And now she would serve this creature? The muscles in Gabrielle’s jaw tensed and she forced her eyes open. The Fates surely were laughing.

They remained silent for the rest of their climb, until they emerged into a round chamber with three doors, and an open stone entryway just to he right hand side. Inside the stone entry, the back of a man could be seen, and as they crossed the chamber he straightened and turned.

“M’lord.” The man picked up a crate. “I’ve got all the old woman’s things out.”

The seneschal examined the crate, then flicked his fingers. “Take them to the middens.” He put a hand on Gabrielle’s shoulder and pushed her towards the stone entry. “That’s your space. It must be kept well, and cleaned always.” He dropped the fabric over her shoulder. “Wash your face, and change into this. Hurry. I will wait here, but if you dawdle, I’ll scrub you raw myself and take you to her majesty naked.”

Gabrielle found herself in a small, narrow room with a high ceiling. Against one wall was a cot, now just a bag of straw set on a wooden frame with a folded set of linens on one end. Next to it was a wooden table with a basin of water, a pitcher, and wooden trunk an arms-breadth long and wide. On the table was a crude brush, and a small piece of looking glass. Near the pitcher was a round piece of soapstone and a threadbare, folded cloth.

Heeding the seneschals warning, she didn’t spend time exploring. She set the fabric down and stripped off the rags she’d been wearing, going to the basin and quickly washing her face and arms.  “Just don’t think about it, Gabrielle. Just don’t .” She whispered to herself, forcing her body through the motions. She pulled on the garments he’d given her, quickly discovering a well made skirt, blouse, and an apron.  It felt exceedingly strange to dress in warm, whole clothing, fabric that smelled of sun and washing and reminded her poignantly of home.

Her hands shook as she tied the apron. She rested them on the table for a moment, then picked up the brush and attempted to comb her hair for the first time in weeks. There were knots of knots of tangles, but she worked hastily through them, until she put herself into come kind of order.  She heard boots at the door and she turned, seeing the impatient seneschal enter the space. “I’m…”

He studied her curiously, his head cocking to one side. “Presentable. Amazing.” He held a hand out. “Come.”

Gabrielle put the brush down and obeyed, knowing she had no real other choice.  She let him take hold of her hand and lead her outside, towards the largest door in the chamber, the one flanked by two well armed guards who watched her from cold, suspicious eyes.

**

“But, Mistress, surely you can see our point.” The dukes faced her. “Of course we welcome the new land, who wouldn’t? But we fear the day when those who owned it before us come to take it back. We’re on the border, as you know, and it’s a concern.”

Xena sat in her large chair of state, raised up on the small dais in her audience chamber. She steepled her fingers and regarded the men. “You don’t want the land? I can find someone who does.”

“No!” The nearest of them protested. “Mistress, you miscount us. We take your generosity gladly, all of us do.”

The rest of them nodded.

“We just have concern of the future, that’s all.” The man continued. “Our neighbors to the north will be outraged, surely. It would be well if they were discouraged from attempting to reclaim their lands.”

Xena lost what little patience she had. “What is it you’re suggesting?” Her voice sharpened. “We go to war against them?”

“N..no.. Mistress.”

“You want me to go get a dozen of their dukes and string em up on poles near the boarder? What?” She got up and paced towards them, and they scrambled back out of her way. “Spit out what you mean, or take your whining elsewhere.”

Duke Lashay hastily lifted his hands in a pacifying gesture. “Mistress… all we are concerned about is how to prevent any future bloodshed. We felt maybe if… that is to say, good General Bregos has a very good reputation in the field, perhaps…”

Xena put her hands on her hips. “Perhaps I should marry him, take him to bed and make him my consort, so we can use that good reputation to keep our borders clean,  is that it?”

The duke had the grace to look discomfited. “Your majesty.”

Xena spread her hands out to either side. “Is that it?”  She pinned each of them with a stare. None of them met it. “IS it?” Her voice deepened and amplified.

Duke Lashay girded his loins and approached her, bending a knee before her in humility. “My queen.” He looked bravely up at her. “We are thinking of you as well.”

Xena pointed a thumb at her own chest. “Me?” She released a dry chuckle. “Don’t tell me you’re concerned over the affairs of MY heart, Lastay. I don’t have one, remember?”

The duke looked both ways, then dropped his voice. “No, my liege.” His tone was serious. “But the General, talented as he is, should always remember where his authority comes from.”

Xena looked at him, then at the other men. They studied the marble floor intently. “What are you saying, Lastay? Are you questioning the general’s fealty?”  She stepped closer and with a flickering motion, a dagger appeared in her hand. She put the blade of it against Lastay’s chin and lifted it, seeing the motion below the sharp steel of him swallowing. “Are you?”

“I.. am saying, my liege, that it is wise to be cautious.” The duke answered in a strained voice. “Where there is power, there is temptation to use it.”

Xena put pressure on the blade, forcing him to stand up or else risk slitting his throat. She studied his face intently, watching the twitch form along his right eye. Then she smiled, and ducked her head gracefully, kissing him on the lips before she withdrew the dagger and gave him a small shove on the chin with it’s hilt. “Thank you, Lastay. Warning taken.”

His eyes almost rolled to the back of his head before he caught his breath and balance. His face blushed a deep tone of scarlet, making his dark beard stand out vividly as she chuckled. “Mistress.”

Xena patted his cheek with her hand. “Leave Bregos to me.” She advised them. “Just keep your hands clean, and don’t get in my way.”

“Mistress.” Lastay bowed his head. The rest did as well.  After a few furtive looks at each other, they backed towards the door and left.

Xena walked to her table and picked up the goblet sitting on it. She took a swallow of the contents and rinsed it around in her mouth before she swallowed, licking her lips with a tiny grimace of distaste. “Men.” She muttered.

A knock at the door.  Xena swiveled and let a scowl slip onto her face. “Yes?” She barked, expecting a return of her loyal subjects.

Instead, however, the door opened to reveal Stanislaus. “Mistress? A moment, I beg?”

Xena swirled the wine in her cup. “For?”

“The domestic adjustment you requested, Mistress.”

Ah. Her new slave.  Xena sipped her wine. “All right.” She allowed. “Come on in.”

Stanislaus entered, holding the door open and motioning someone to follow him.  A slight figure stepped inside and he shut the door after her. He walked forward, taking the newcomer by the arm and leading her forward. “As you requested, Mistress.”

They came into the light from the window, and Xena found herself face to face with a young, fair-haired girl just approaching womanhood. She had a slightly rounded, open face and deep, intense green eyes that caught Xena’s in an unexpected moment of intimacy.  She got a quick impression of wary fear, then the look broke as Stanislaus crossed between them.

“Mistress, this is Gabrielle. She shall be taking up Erisia’s duties.” The seneschal said. “She is, I am afraid, completely untrained.” He spread his hands out. “But it is as you wished.”

“Yes, it is.”  Xena put her cup down and approached her new servant, circling her curiously. She watched Gabrielle’s shoulders twitch as she walked behind her, and caught the alarmed look in the girl’s eyes as she came round to the front of her again. “I see.” She took in the slim form, whose head came barely to her shoulder. “Well, at least we don’t have to beat any prior lessons out of her then, do we?”

The green eyes slid around and met hers.  Xena found both fear and an unlooked for courage there, an odd combination that only heightened her interest. “Do we?” She asked again, directly.

Gabrielle’s lips moved a few times before any sound emerged. “I hope not.” Her voice was soft, but had a low, vibrant undercurrent.

Stanislaus took a breath to reprimand her, but Xena waved him off with a curt gesture.  She returned to her table, and leaned against it. “She’ll do, Stanislaus. Thank you.”

“Mistress.” The seneschal ducked his head gracefully. “I will take her and instruct her in the ways of your service.” He reached for Gabrielle’s arm.

“No.” Xena stopped him.  “Leave us.” She added casually. She watched her new servant swallow hard and flex her hands slightly. “I’ll give her the first lesson.”

The seneschal hesitated, then nodded. “As you wish, Mistress. Call me when you wish me to take her to quarters.” Stanisalus bowed, and slipped out of the room, leaving the two of them together.

**

Gabrielle could feel her heart thumping against her ribcage so hard she was surprised it wasn’t visible. She was hyper aware of the tall, dark haired woman watching her from across the room and try as she might, she could hardly keep herself from staring at her.

With the sun behind her, it was hard to see details. Gabrielle could only really see the silk clad outline of a body that moved with a power and grace she’d never seen before.

And the eyes. Pale as ice, only barely tinted with blue, they cut right through you like a knife. Gabrielle felt her resolve melting away, leaving behind a flutter of fear and the apprehension of the unknown. This woman, she realized, could do anything to her and there was nothing she could do about it.

“So.” Xena’s voice made her start. “How scared are you?”

Gabrielle forced her eyes up to meet the cool, almost mocking ones facing her. There was something hawklike in the woman’s expression and Gabrielle felt very much like a small mouse waiting to be pounced on. “I’m… pretty scared.” She admitted softly.

Xena’s lips twitched. “You get a point for being honest.”  She said. “Where are you from?”

Gabrielle blinked. “Potedaia.”

“I’ve been there.” Xena said. “It’s a rathole.”

It stung. Gabrielle looked away, out the window into the sunlight. “Not anymore it isn’t. They burned it.”

Xena could see the glint of unshed tears in the girl’s eyes. “Take care of the fleas, I guess.” She remarked casually, watching those eyes close in silent pain. “Don’t tell me you miss it.”

Gabrielle felt like running. She knew she couldn’t though, she had to stand her and face this cold, taunting witch who seemed to take delight in jabbing her most sensitive places for the amusement of it. She took a deep breath and returned Xena’s gaze. ‘It was home.” She answered. “When it’s all you have, and it gets taken from you… yes. I guess you miss it. I do.”

Xena leaned forward and rested her elbows on her table. She pressed her knuckles against her lower lip and studied Gabrielle. “All right.” She said. “The best thing you can do is forget all about it. You won’t starve here. You work hard, you get fed, you get clothed, you get a roof over your head, one that doesn’t leak. That’s better than you could have hoped for there, isn’t it?”

Gabrielle fingered the cloth of her apron, but didn’t answer. It had been all right at home. Sure, they’d gone hungry sometimes, but farming put you at the mercy of the weather, after all. And their homestead had only leaked a little.

“Rule one.” Xena circled her table and approached her. “When you’re asked something, answer.”

“I’m sorry.” Gabrielle said. “I was just thinking about it.”

“Thinking slaves are dangerous. Don’t make it a habit.”

Gabrielle looked up at her, now that she was close and the light was blocked and she could see details. “Why would you want someone around you who never thought about anything? Isn’t that more dangerous?” She blurted out the question before she really thought about it, finding her eyes caught on the sloping planes and high cheekbones on Xena’s face.

Xena crossed her arms. “It could be.” She admitted. “But in an army, if you stop and think too much, it can get you killed.”

Gabrielle somehow kept her gaze steady. “My sister, and my friends from home.. they didn’t think about anything and they got killed anyway.” She said. “Maybe if we’d gotten together and thought about it, she’d still be alive, and I wouldn’t be here.”

The silk clad figure circled her again. “You don’t like being here, Gabrielle?”

“No.”

Xena stopped just behind her. She watched the tiny, blond hairs on the back of the slaves neck lift, and a curious smile crossed her face. “You’re cursed with a useful brain. That could be very dangerous. Maybe I should send you back to the stables and let them bury you in horse manure.”

Gabrielle’s shoulders shifted, but she remained silent.

“That what you want? Instead of being up here in decent clothes with a bed more than a pile of sticks?”

Xena ducked around to the side, watching the girl’s profile. Slowly, the eyes turned to meet hers. “Well?”

The blond girl inhaled. “No.” She said, in a low voice.

The blue eyes twinkled wickedly. “Forget about the past. You can’t go back there.” She continued on back to her table and turned. “The sooner you learn that, the better.”

Gabrielle thought about that. It was true, she knew, but saying it and making it happen, inside the rawness of her memories, was another thing entirely.  She jerked her head in a nod, clamping her jaw shut on any answer.

Xena chuckled. Then she walked in front of Gabrielle and leaned against the table. They looked at each other briefly.  Xena pointed round the room. “This is the public room. That’s the private one. I don’t like things out of place, and I don’t like mess.”

Gabrielle’s eyes flicked around the room. Despite it ornate underpinnings, the room was indeed precisely neat. “Okay.”

“I have audiences in here in the morning. You can take care of the private room then, and this one after lunch.”

It dawned on Gabrielle that this wasn’t as bad as she’d expected it to be. “Okay.”

Xena stepped closer, using her height to good advantage. “Two things.” She put a finger on Gabrielle’s chin and lifted it. “Talk about anything  you see in here, and I’ll kill you.”

Gabrielle’s breath caught.  The expression on Xena’s face was ice cold and uncompromisingly deadly. She found herself believing, deep down, the utter truth of that statement.

“And two, Stanislaus will instruct you on the proper way to address me.” The low voice went on. “He’ll tell you to either use Majesty, or Mistress, or my liege.”

Gabrielle could smell her, a scent that was a curious mixture of spice and silk. She nodded briefly in understanding, knowing it would take her some getting used to where Stanislaus had made it a natural part of his speech. “All right.”

Xena leaned closer, until they were almost nose to nose. “Don’t.” She enunciated the word precisely.

Gabrielle blinked, unable to tear her eyes from the icy blue ones inches from her. “D..don’t?”

“No.” Xena returned to her chair and sat gracefully down in it, putting her hands on the arms and tucking her slippered feet under her. “That will annoy him to no end. You have to choose if you want to annoy him, and get cuffed, or annoy me.”  She cocked her head at the girl. “Which’ll it be, Gabrielle?”

Her name sounded so strange on those lips. There was a faint hint of a burring roll on it, and she found herself sounding it out in her head. “I.. um..” She considered. “I’ll do what you want”

A smile spread itself across the angular face. “Right choice.”

**

Gabrielle found her way back to the small, plain area she’d been given and sat down on the bed, clasping her hands between her knees.  Her heart was still hammering in her chest, and the pounding was giving her a headache, something that didn’t help the whirling thoughts trying to get her attention.

What had she gotten herself into?  Being a slave was bad enough, but in the kitchens with the rest of them she’d been anonymous. Now she found herself under the eye of someone who would likely just kill her for very little reason and she was stuck in a place where she knew so little and mistakes would be horribly easy to make.

“Okay.” She whispered. “You can do this. It’s just a little cleaning, and keeping stuff up. Just like at home.”

But it wasn’t, and she knew it. Just the thought of going back in there under those watchful, cold eyes made her sick.

And yet.

Gabrielle rested her chin on her hands, gazing at the plain stone wall across from her bed. For all the terror, there was also something… interesting.. about that scary, regal figure.

There was an intelligence there she hadn’t expected. A shifting, powerful focus that had left her tongue tied, but curious.  Something about Xena intrigued her right up until the point she remembered that this was also the voice who had ordered her sister slaughtered.

Then Xena stopped being interesting, and started being hateful. Gabrielle remembered her taunting words about Potadeia and her jaw clenched.

Bitch.  Her mind spat.

The scuff of boots on the stone made her look up. Stanislaus put a hand on the entrance to her hideout and peered in, spotting her. “Ah. Good.”  He snapped his fingers. “Come. I’ll show you where things are kept, and how the queen likes everything done. Hopefully you’ll catch on fast before she has you shot from frustration.”

Gabrielle exhaled, and got to her feet. She twitched her apron straight and followed him, resigning herself to a long, difficult day.

**

The basin scraped against the floor as she nudged it a little further, rinsing out the cloth and continuing to scrub.  Gabrielle was glad, at least, that Stanislaus had finally left her, convinced apparently that she could do little damage in scrubbing the stone floor.  She rinsed the cloth again, then peered into the basin. Despite the fact that she’d been cleaning for over a candlemark, the water wasn’t that muddy and it was obvious that the floor wasn’t that dirty to begin with.

In fact, she turned and sat for a moment, resting her aching knees. The entire room wasn’t that dirty. She was in the private chamber now, it’s high ceiling and lofty windows standing over her in censorious silence.  The first impression she’d gotten of the place was of it’s neatness, though regal and ornate the room had a clean simplicity in it’s spare furniture and open floor space.

She glanced behind her, satisified that she’d gotten all the nooks and crannies of the stone. She got to her feet and stretched out her bruised and weary body. The door creaked open, and she froze, then exhaled as she recognized Toris’ dark head. “Hi.”

He slipped in and closed the door, hurrying over to her. “Wow! I found you. They told me what happened. Are you okay?”

Gabrielle mutely indicated the room, then herself, then shrugged.

“Least you got clothes.” Toris tugged her sleeve. “That’s not so bad.”

“True.” She nodded. “And a halfway decent place to sleep, but I feel like if I make even one mistake, they’ll just toss me out the window into the middens.”

His face twisted into wry understanding. “I can’t stay long, they’ll miss me.” Toris lowered his voice. “I wish I’d have been there – maybe they would have picked me instead.”

“Just my luck.” Gabrielle sighed. “This place is creepy, and that woman is creepier. What a bitch.”

Toris nodded solemnly. “I know.” He put a hand on her shoulder. “Everyone here knows. They all what that other guy to take over.”

“What other guy?”

“That big guy, the general. He won some battles and stuff. They want him to take over, or marry her and make her act right.”

Gabrielle recalled the fire in those ice blue eyes. “I don’t think that’s gonna work.”

Toris lowered his voice. “Just keep your eyes open. If they do something, maybe we can help. I talked to a couple guys today.”

An uneasy chill traveled up Gabrielle’s back. “Help what?” She whispered. “Toris, we’re slaves. Even if that other guy takes over, we’ll still be slaves. What’s the difference?”

“Will we? I hear that other guy doesn’t think there should be slaves here.” The boy whispered back. “Don’t you want to go free?”

Gabrielle stared at him. “Is that true?”  The idea of freedom shot through her, totally unlooked for. They both heard footsteps approaching, and held their breaths.

He nodded. “Just be careful. Keep your head down. Watch.”  And with that, he ducked out quickly.

Gabrielle waited for the door to open again, but the footsteps went past the door on the outside and faded off.  She looked around the room again, staring at it in consternation, finding herself contemplating a way out of the pit she’d fallen in for the first time.

Freedom?

Could it really be true? She leaned against the wall, thoughts rushing through her head. A sobering consideration countered them. If she was free, then what?  Gabrielle folded her arms over the ache in her chest.

She had nothing left to go back to.

**

“Damn it.” Xena closed the door behind her, striding across the darkened room lit only by a triplet of candles  Dinner had lasted far too long, and she’d spent the time watching her general play his political games. She walked to the window and put her hands on either side of the sill, leaning against it.  Bregos had spent his day courting the courtiers, gathering in his support from the many who felt far more comfortable dealing with his masculine good nature than with her and his night in paying her the closest of attentions.

She crossed the outerchamber and shoved open the door to the inner. Her sleeping chamber was also lit by only a few candles, providing a soothing calm that stroked against her ragged nerves as she pulled off her jewelry.

A sudden sense of something being different stopped her in midmotion, and she stayed where she was near the large mirror, just her eyes looking around the room. Everything was in place, at first glance, but… Xena cocked her head, listening intently, but all was silent. She picked up the candelabra and turned in a slow circle, examining the space around her with wary care.

Ah. She approached the canopied bed, draped in semi transparent lacing. The linens were fresh – she could smell the sunlight in them. But the corners, the pleats, were turned in a way she knew this palace had never seen. Her hand dropped to touch the fabric, it’s surface slightly nubbled under her fingertips.  She continued her search, noting tiny differences in the way a vase was put down, or a basin was turned, after so many year Eridia had developed a pattern as solid as death and now that pattern was gone, leaving in it’s place something new.

It wasn’t unpleasant. Xena ran an approving eye over the room. The kid had done an acceptable job. She was sure Stanislaus had practically ridden the girl to the ground inspecting the work – after all it was his responsibility in the end. But she was pleased.

Gabrielle. Xena put the candelabra down and walked to her dressing table. She picked up the silver comb there and examined it, then set it down. She’d found herself thinking about her new servant on and off throughout the day, and now that the long day had ended she acknowledged herself curious about the kid.

She unlaced the gown she was wearing and slipped it off, tossing it over the thin hide screen next to the mirror, exchanging it for a silk robe.

A thought occurred to her, and she let a faint grin appear. She went to the small table near the balcony windows and picked up a scrap of parchment and a quill, quickly scribbling something down. Then, barefoot, she padded across the rugs to the door. Slipping out into the outer chamber, she walked to the outside door and opened it.

Here, in her suite of quarters, there were no guards. Everyone inside the massive portals was considered trusted.  Xena knew there was risk in that, but stumbling over armed guards every time she decided to pace in the corridor wasn’t something she was willing to live with.

It was quiet, this late at night. She could hear the guards on the stair landings below, their boots shifting as they stood watch.  Opening the door into the round upper hall, she paused to listen. The hall was empty – the tiny stairs that lead down to the kitchens dark and silent. The door at it’s bottom end would be locked tight and guarded, as was the formal staircase that ended to her right.

She listened again, catching now the soft sound of breathing. Silently, she walked to the simple, open entryway and looked inside.  Barely visible in the hall torchlight she could make out Gabrielle’s sleeping form, sprawled on the cot in an attitude of exhaustion.

Her sometimes quirky sense of humor surfaced, and she contemplated letting out a yell that would wake the girl, bring the guards, and throw the halls into chaos.

Nah. Let the kid get a night’s peace, at least. She decided, her eyes tracing the youthful, innocent profile. There’d been enough time to terrorize her in the morning. With a last look, Xena dropped the bit of parchment on the rough wooden table and left.

Her task done, she returned to her chambers and got into bed, sliding under the light covers and laying her head on the pillow.

Tomorrow, she decided, she would have to do something about Bregos. His little plan had to be cut off at the knees, or else she might seriously have to contemplate cutting the good general off at the knees. It was too dangerous to let him build the kind of sympathetic power base he was going for.

Ambition was fine. She understood that. But there were people like Bregos who were never satisfied with what they had, instead, they were constantly driven to take more, and more and more.  Xena acknowledged she was like that too, somewhat, but she also knew there could only be one person at the top, one person who had it all.

That was her.

And she had no intention of sharing.

With a light sigh, she closed her eyes. A faint, new scent came to her and her nose twitched. Her lips curved into a brief grin before she allowed sleep to claim her.

**

Gabrielle woke before dawn, her eyes taking in the unfamiliar surroundings in fuzzy confusion. After a minute, though, she remembered where she was and exhaled, listening to the silence of the hall broken only by the soft flutter of torches.

She rolled over and stretched her body out a little, guiltily grateful for the straw stuffed mattress that cushioned her throughout the night. The plain, woolen blanket that covered her was also welcome and for the first time since her life had been destroyed by the slavers she woke with a sense that some bit of balance was restored to her.

Stanislaus had been meticulous in providing her with a schedule. She knew she had to go down to the kitchens for breakfast early. Then she would clean the queen’s inner chambers while the outer ones were in use. Once the queen had left for her main council hall, she would clean the outer chamber, then back down to the workroom to get any small things that had to be done.

She’d realized when she went down for dinner the day before that her elevation had caused resentment among her fellow servants. Of course they knew she hadn’t chosen the spot, but there were many in service for long periods of time who felt they should have gotten the chance at what she realized was considered a prize position.

Gabrielle snuggled into her covers and yawned. She still had a little time before she had to get up and get going and it felt luxurious beyond all measure to be able to lie here in relative comfort.

It was hard, though, because the sheer normality of the feeling made her remember home. She wondered how long it would be until this reality overshadowed that one, and her memories of her family faded away and stopped hurting so much.

Would it ever?

Be honest, Gabrielle. She spoke silently to herself. You always wanted to get out of Potadeia. How many times did you try to run away from home?  A quiet sense of shame covered her. She missed her sister horribly, but not enough to whitewash her former life into sunny perfection. Well, you got what you asked for, didn’t you?

Now live with it.

She wondered about the answers she’d given the queen the day before. Would it have been better to return to downstairs, where at least if not friends, she had people she knew? It was lonely up here. Now that she’d been moved, the other servants seemed to keep shy of her as well even when she went down to the kitchens and helped them.

Gabrielle felt the edge of the pillow with her thumb. She thought about her frightening encounter with the queen. Xena was scary, and from the talk she’d heard below icily ruthless. But she was also the most real, most alive person Gabrielle had ever met in her life.

What did the queen think of her?

“Hm.” Gabrielle decided to stop thinking. She pulled the covers back and sat up, putting her bare feet down on the cold stone floor. “Yow.” The word emerged in a soft gutteral. She stood up and rubbed her arms to warm them as she walked over to the basin. She’d filled it with water the night before and covered it with a cloth, and as she moved the cloth aside, she spotted a bit of parchment lying there.

Puzzled, she picked it up, not remembering it being there the previous night. There was writing on it, but in the dim light it was hard to see. Gabrielle took the parchment near the doorway where the torches burned a little brighter and bent her head closer.

“Good Job. I’ll keep you. X.”

Her entire body jerked in shock, making her drop the parchment. Frantically she snatched at it, grabbing it in mid air around her kneecaps and pulling it back up again.  She looked around, but only the tapestry covered walls looked back at her, unable to share her astonishment.

Was it a joke?

She rubbed her fingertip on a letter, but it remained firmly in place. The ink looked thick and rich and the letters were firmly formed with a distinctive slant to them. “This is insane.” Gabrielle whispered, backing up and sitting down on her cot. “She can’t have written this, can she? For a slave? Why would she bother?”

She studied the parchment again. “Good job.”  She repeated softly. “When was the last time you heard that, Gabrielle?”

She stared at the parchment a moment more, then she got up and went to the square wooden chest, kneeling down and opening it. Inside were the two shifts and two sets of clothes she’d been given. She folded the parchment up carefully and tucked it under the fabric, smoothing the layers of linen over it with careful fingers.  Then she stood and went to the basin.

It was hard to know what to feel, she acknowledged her own confusion. Part of her hated Xena. Part of her remembered what Toris had told her the day before, and felt the tickling enticement of being set free. But another part of her, an insatiably curious part of her, wasn’t so sure.  It made her head hurt.  “Okay.” She finally said aloud. “Let’s just get through another day first.”

She dipped a fingertip in the basin and winced at the chill, then steeled herself and started washing her face.

**

“All right.” Xena studied the rolls. “Brendan, what’s the word from the barracks.”

A one eyed, grizzled man in half armor cleared his throat. “It’s tense, chief.” He admitted. “Place is full to burstin, and Bregos’ men are so full of theyselves they gots buttocks hanging out the winders.”

Xena’s eyebrows twitched at the visual. “Causing trouble?” She asked.

The man half shrugged. “Not so they can be blamed for it. Just talk.” He said. “Bring themselves up, talking us down, y’know.”

The dark haired woman nodded. “Yes. I can imagine.”  She sat back in her chair. In her outer chamber were two men she’d fought side by side with, whom she trusted as much as she did anyone alive on the earth. “What are they spreading?”

“Manure.” Alaran, her chief of security stated shortly. “We had several fistfights and close to a duel last night.”

“Who won the duel?” Xena asked, with a smile.

Alaran ducked his head modestly.

“We figure even with his recruits, we’re bout even.” Brendan said. “Alar thought maybe we should bunk em separate, but we figgered a rat you can hear is easier to kick.”

“Good choice.” Xena said. “He’s got the support of most of the court, not that I give a damn, but politically he’s put himself in a good place.” She got up and paced, long, powerful strides at total odds with the flowing dress that clung to her body.  “I’d rather not kill him, but I need a way to force a confrontation that will knock him down.” She paused, and considered. “If he’s out of favor and I make him disappear, no one’ll care.  Do it now, and it could get messy.”

The men nodded. “Aye.” Brendan grunted.

“So, what’s the plan?” Alaran asked. “He’s got the advantage. Blood sells.”

A not very nice smile crossed Xena’s face. “Oh, I know that.” She paused with her back to them, leaning against the window and gazing out briefly. Then she turned. “So we give them blood.  Bregos says he can’t resist a challenge so I’ll maneuver him into one. His troops against mine.”

Alaran almost didn’t hide a feral grin. “Purely for sport, surely, m’laidy?” He drawled softly.

“Purely.” Xena smiled back.

“Men’ll like that.” Brendan nodded approvingly. “Been a while. Heard some of em grousing bout losing their edge.”

“So, we defeat them, all in good fun.” Alaran said. “What about Bregos?”

“What about Bregos.” Xena repeated. “Dear, sweet general Bregos.” Her lips quirked. “His pride won’t let him stand on the sidelines if his men are losing. He’ll fight.” She said. “And in the heat of battle, anything can happen.”

Alaran scratched his jaw. “Make a nice state funeral.” He commented mildly. “Bet he looks good in a shroud.”

Xena eyed him. “Bet he looks like a lamb sausage in a shroud.”

“Put me right off lamb.” Alaran returned the jest. “That would.”

“Mm.” She bit off a smile.

“What if he doesn’t bite, chief?” Brendan asked. “He’s a canny sort.”

Xena seated herself and crossed her ankles, one hand playing with the slim, deadly dagger she used to open scrolls. “Then I’ll have to resort to more direct action.”

Both men nodded. “I’ll get the men up’n ready, chief.” Brendan rasped. “Y’know we won’t let ye down.”

“I know.” Xena gave him a direct look. “Tell them I want a big win, Brendan. If some of Bregos’ pups get killed, good.”

The grizzled old man dropped to a knee and placed a fist over his chest, then rose and turned at the same time, heading for the door.  Alaran remained, waiting for the outer door to close before he folded his arms and cleared his throat.

“Yes?” Xena drawled.

“He’s ambitious, my liege.” Alaran’s switch to formal address indicated the seriousness. “Ambitious enough to try something stupid like direct action himself.”

Ice blue eyes regarded him. “You’re my security chief, Alaran. Isn’t that your problem?”

He ducked his head in acknowledgement. ‘Just so, Mistress. If there’s a plan, I’ll find it. I… “ He paused. “Would wish that you would take extra care.”

“Mm.”

“He sees a way to his goal through you.” The security chief went on. “If you block him, he will seek to find another way, and unlike your royal self his methods do not include honor as a priority.”

“Meaning he’s gonna try to put an asp in my bed.” Xena remarked dryly. “Maybe I better make friends with my new chambermaid, hm?”

“I was going to suggest replacing her with one of my people.” Alaran said. “Having one so close to you and so unknown is disturbing.”

Xena picked up a grape and popped it into her mouth, chewing it thoughtfully. She paused, then with a quick burst of air, spat a seed out and struck the candlestick with it, making it clang very softly. “Leave her.” She said.

“My liege.”

“I said, leave her.” Xena gave him a direct look. “That makes it my problem.”

Reluctantly, he ducked his head. “As you wish.”  He saluted and left, his frustration indicated only by the exaggerated click of his boot heels on the floor.

Silence dropped over the room. Xena soaked in it, ordering her thoughts before she left to attend to her public audiences. A soft rasp made her turn her head, and she watched as her inner door opened, revealing Gabrielle’s somewhat disheveled form.

The girl froze when she realized the room wasn’t empty, apologies already forming on her lips.

Xena smiled, and crooked a finger at her.  “Just who I wanted to see.”

**

Gabrielle swallowed. “I’m sorry. I thought you’d left.”  She set her basin down and wiped her hands on her apron, slowly approaching the chair Xena was sitting in.

Xena studied her as she came closer. There were smudges of dirt along the bridge of her nose and along both arms and a scrape across one of the girl’s wrists. “What were you doing in there?”

Gabrielle blinked, a little confused. “Cleaning.” She answered softly.

The queen’s dark head tilted. “Cleaning what?”

“Under the bed.”

Interesting.  Xena laced her fingers together. “No one looks under the bed.” She remarked.

The blond woman shrugged slightly. “Doesn’t mean it’s not dirty.”

Hm. Xena rested her chin against her thumbs. “Were you listening to what we were saying in here?”

Hesitantly, Gabrielle shook her head.

“Why not?” The low voice deepened slightly.

Gabrielle felt a little foolish, but she answered anyway. “I had my head underneath the bed.” She explained. “I couldn’t hear anything.”

Xena got up and circled her. “My security people are worried about you, Gabrielle.”

“Me?”

“You.”

Gabrielle looked down at her scraped hands and dirty clothes, then back up at Xena with questioning eyes. “Why?”

Xena paced over to the window. The breeze blew her dark hair back. “Because they know my enemies are looking for a weak spot in my defenses, and they think that weak spot is you.” She looked over her shoulder at Gabrielle. “They think you can be used against me. Can you?”

Gabrielle had no idea of what to answer. She took a breath, then before she could release it, she found herself caught and held in an iron grip. Xena’s eyes bored into hers with fierce intensity. She was struck utterly speechless.

“Can you?” Xena asked again.

“I…” Gabrielle found herself unable to look away from those eyes. “I hope not.. I don’t want to hurt anyone.”  It felt outstandingly stupid to be saying that when she was pretty much helpless and at the mercy of those powerful hands.

“Whatever they offer you, Gabrielle.. .it’s not worth it.” Xena told her softly. “They’re only using you, and all you’ll end up with is a ticket to a grave.”

She wasn’t really sure when she made the decision, or even if there was a decision at all. Gabrielle just found herself speaking suddenly. “They said the other guy would set the slaves free. Is that true?”

Xena was caught by surprise, and it showed. Her eyes widened and her neck arched as she reacted. “So they came to you already.” She breathed.

“N.. no.” Gabrielle shook her head. “It was just… they said if something happened, to be ready to help.”

Abruptly Xena released her.

“Is it true?” Gabrielle asked. “That he’d let us all go?”

Xena turned and went to the window. This angle of attack wasn’t one she’d expected at all. There were hundreds of slaves in the stronghold, most of them anonymous, quiet…

Trusted.

“I… thought about it, and  um.. I don’t really think I believe he’d do that.” Gabrielle’s quiet voice spoke up.

“Don’t you?”

“Well, no, because after all, someone’s got to do these jobs, don’t they?”

Xena glanced over her shoulder.

“And they’re not nice jobs. Nobody really wants to spend their days cleaning muck up.” Gabrielle went on. “Or being hit, or sleeping on sticks.” Her shoulders shifted a little. “So I don’t think he’d get rid of the only people he could force to do it.”

The dark haired woman studied the slight, fair figure in the center of the room. Then she straightened her robe and picked the dagger up off her table and walked to the door. She paused with her hand on the sill and looked back. “You’re right.”

And then she was gone, leaving Gabrielle alone in the outer chamber.

**

She was rattled.

Xena hated being rattled. It had been a long time since something had caught her by surprise like that. She ducked through the inner doorway and out onto the walk, empty of anyone or anything other than a raven sitting on the wall pecking at a bug.

Xena rested her arms on the wall and stared out across the yards. The wind was cold at her back, but she braced against it, letting her thoughts simmer down after her unexpected encounter.

If Bregos was already wooing the slaves, his plan was more advanced than she’d thought. The words had been general.. almost suspiciously so. Was Gabrielle telling her the truth? Or had they gotten to her and was the girl just biding her time?

Xena frowned, at the odd feeling of disappointment. She replayed Gabrielle’s words in her mind and studied them, listening in her memories for the girl’s tone and attitude.  Those green eyes had met hers unflinchingly and in them Xena had read what she thought was honesty.

“All right.” Xena addressed the raven, who eyed her with one black, beady orb. “Assuming she’s telling the truth, someone’s been talking to the slaves. It’s not Bregos, he’d get lost finding the kitchens and end up in the stable. So who is it?”

“Awk.” The raven hopped towards her curiously.

Xena’s hand snaked out and captured the creature, holding it still as it struggled. After a moment it settled, panting from it’s open beak as it stared at her. “That’s it.” She stroked it’s head with her thumb. “Are you like those slaves in there? Obeying because you’re under my hand?”

She could feel it’s heart under her touch, beating rapidly. As rapidly as Gabrielle’s had been, she realized. And yet, the feeling that the girl had answered her honestly hung with her, an instinct that had more than once saved Xena’s life.

What should she do? Xena briefly closed her eyes, then let them slide open, coldly glittering in the wan sunlight.

“You’re a lucky boy.” She opened her hands and released the raven. It hopped unevenly away, then spread it’s wings and took off.

Xena’s eyes followed it. Then she turned and walked confidently to the door.

**

The chaos of the kitchen banged against Gabrielle’s ears as she reached the bottom of the stairs and slipped into the slave’s common room. Her heart was still a little fast, and she could feel tremors occasionally making their way across her hands. She crossed her arms to hide them, and looked around.

Toris spotted her and held a  hand up, gesturing her eagerly over.

Gabrielle felt strange. She could see the other two she’d spent her first night here with next to him, and their familiar faces should have given her a warm feeling. Instead, Toris’ words rang in her ears, and she found herself thinking of them as not quite friends.

Not quite safe.

But she knew so few other people, she walked over to them anyway. Gabrielle noticed the veiled glances she was getting from the others, but put that aside as she greeted Toris. “Hi.”

Alras smiled at her. “Hey. How’s it upstairs?”

Gabrielle sat down on the bench next to them. “It’s okay.” She shrugged.

Celeste, the girl, wiped a soot stained hand across her forehead. “Okay? It’s got to be a lot better than this place. I’m exhausted, and it’s only lunch.”

“Yeah.” Alras agreed. “An you get decent stuff to wear.”

“She’s gotta face Medusa, too.” Toris reminded them. “Wanna trade?”

The two of them glanced around, then shook their heads.

Toris stood up. “Let’s grab some food. He said. “Then we can go over into our space and talk.”

Gabrielle felt a pang of apprehension, but she followed them over to the trestle tables and collected her bowl, this time filled with a thick, chunky stew.  A piece of brown, nutty smelling bread was placed over it, and she was glad to take it and her mug and retreat to the small back area Toris had picked out for them.

They sat down on the woven branch mats and were silent for a bit, concentrating on eating the stew. Gabrielle found herself to be starving, since she’d only nibbled her breakfast before it had been time to start work. She wolfed down the thick pieces of meat, grateful that in this, at least, the slaves weren’t stinted.

“So, what’s she like?” Alras asked, after a while. “Medusa, I mean.”

Gabrielle used a mouthful of sopped bread as an excuse to think about her answer. “I.. um..” She swallowed, and as earlier, a decision somehow got made without her conscious decision. “I don’t get to see her much. Just a flash here and there. I’m in there when she’s not.”

Toris watched her, his dark eyes searching her face. Gabrielle returned the look evenly.  “Guess she doesn’t talk to the likes of us.” He remarked. “We’re like the dogs in the yard.”

“Mm.” Gabrielle continued eating.

“They say she’s really a Bacchae, that she roams around at night giving nightmares.” Celeste whispered.

Gabrielle blinked, a folded piece of parchment popping into her mind’s eye. “Maybe.” She said. “I’ve been too tired to dream. I wouldn’t know.”  She finished her bread, dunking it in the bit of stew she had remaining.

Toris casually broke off half his bread and tossed in Gabrielle’s bowl. He smiled at her as she looked up in surprise. “I got some extra.” He explained. “G’wan.”

Gabrielle returned the smile. “Thanks.”  She said. “So, what have you guys been up to?”

Alras snorted. “Mucking the stables.”  He wiggled toes stained an unappealing brown. He looked at Celeste. “What about you?”

She was quiet for a moment. “I was sent to the barracks.” She kept her eyes on her bowl. “For the soldiers.”

They all fell silent, Gabrielle looked at her in bleak understanding, seeing the now visible marks around her wrist and throat. “Oh.”

Celeste looked up at her.  “You should be careful, Gabrielle. What I heard down there… you’re in a worse place than I was.” She cleared her throat a little. “At least all those guys wanted was.. um..”

“Yeah.” Gabrielle felt very unsettled. “Well, I haven’t had a problem so far.”

“Yet.” Toris whispered. “Something’s gotta stop this.” He kept his voice way down. “Stop her.”

A loud buzz from the common room got their attention. Toris put his bowl down and got up to see what was going on, sticking his head around the corner, then disappearing into the crowd.

Gabrielle finished the last bit of her bread, listening hard, trying to make out the words drifting around the wall.

But abrupt laughter released the tension, and Toris came back, to flop down on the matting with a muffled snort. “One of them got in the general’s bed.” He said.

“And?” Alras asked softly.

“Weapon wasn’t sharp.”

Gabrielle felt her ears warm as a blush rose. “Mm.”

“Guess he’s practicing for Medusa.” Alras snickered. “That’ll be a conquest.”

Not in this lifetime. The words emerged into Gabrielle’s mind without warning.

Not even in the next.

**

Xena stalked into the big, public throne room, ignoring the nobles bowing as she crossed the stone floor to the raised platform. She turned and swirled her flowing gown around her as she sat, the folds falling neatly about her knees as she faced the crowd.

Bregos entered and bowed to her, then took up a spot on the last step up to her throne, as though assuming a place of honor.

Xena’s fingers twitched.

Stanislaus approached her and knelt, offering her a scroll. “News from the eastern border, Mistress.”

Xena took the scroll and opened it.  “Ah.” Her brows lifted, and a smile appeared. “It seems we have good news to pass along today.” She told the scattering of nobles assembled to pay court to her. “They have expanded through two more valleys to the sea.”

“Ah.” Bregos clapped his hands in approval. “Those are rich lands, my liege.”

“Yes, they are.” Xena agreed, tapping the now re-rolled scroll against her chin. “Very rich lands indeed, and right on the coast.”

“Make a fine trading port, Mistress.” The general nodded sagely. “Got a good basin, that river mouth does just to the north.”

Xena smiled. “As always, my good general, your thoughts are good ones. I shall have to consider how we can best take advantage of this.” She let her eyes slide to him. “I’ve long though of establishing a stronghold on the coast, perhaps it’s time.”

Brego’s eyes darted to hers curiously. “A stronghold, Mistress? We’ve seen no threat from that quarter.”

“Yet.”  Xena drawled softly. “But with homesteads that close, it’s only a matter of time. Yes, I think a stronghold on the coast would be a very… good… idea.”  She leaned on the chair arm. “Something to ponder.”

“As you say, Mistress.” Bregos stroked his chin. “We can celebrate the good news at the banquet this evening.”

“Yes, we can.” Xena allowed. “We have much to celebrate, in fact.”  She smiled at the assembled nobles, who stirred, smiling and nodding back at her. “Don’t we?”

“Many things, Mistress.” Bregos agreed, with a broad smile. “Many things.”

Xena sat back, a thoughtful look on her face. After a moment she chuckled. “But first, we have some business to take care of.  Constable?”

A man in royal livery trotted up, and bowed. “Your majesty.”

“Bring in your cases.”

It was one of her favorite things to do. Xena watched as the guards brought in four men and a woman, in chains.  She laced her fingers together and looked at the prisoners, all of whom appeared much the worse for wear.

The constable unrolled a scroll and peered at it, then motioned for the first man to be brought forward. “This un deserted, Mistress.  Guard caught him running out the forest, taking his kit with him.”

Xena examined the man dispassionately.  He was, she figured, a farmer who’d got caught up in the excitement of battle and joined on a whim. Once in, he’d realized he’d made a mistake.

No matter.

“Might be best to just let him go, Mistress.” Bregos spoke up. “We’ve no need of his type.”

Xena turned her head and looked at him. “No one deserts from my army, Bregos.” She told him. “Even if they didn’t belong there in the first place.”  She added. “His sentence is death. Take him out.”  Her eyes went back to the prisoner, who began to struggle in terror. “Gag him.” She advised the constable. “He’s the kind that screams. I hate that.”

“Yes, Mistress.” The guards dragged the man out.

“Next?” Xena drawled, in a humorous tone. “Can we find something more interesting than deserting? Any thieves?  Nothing like a few hands chopped off to start the day right.”  Her eyes traveled over the captives. “What’d she do?”

The constable checked his records. “Killed a soldier, Mistress.”

Xena crooked her finger at the guard, who dragged the woman forward. The woman stared at her through matted hair. Her face was covered with scratches, and there were lurid bruises evident on her body. “Killed one of my men, eh?”

“The bastard deserved it. He raped me.”  The woman rasped.  “He was an animal!”

Ah. This one required a little thought. Xena got up and walked down the steps, approaching the woman. She studied the battered form for a moment. “You say.”

“It’s true!”

“But he can’t tell his side, now can he?” Xena said. “Maybe he raped you, or maybe you lured him into bed, then slit his throat.”

“Why would I do that?”

Xena grabbed her chin, and squeezed it. “Maybe you like killing.” She suggested. “I do.”

The woman struggled to pull her head free. “No!”

With a quick motion, Xena forced her to her knees and stood over her, fingers tensed on her throat. She squeezed slowly, listening to the woman’s breathing grow strained. The woman’s gaze facing her grew wild and terrified, and she started to choke.

Xena looked intently into the woman’s eyes. “How did he rape you?”

“He..” The woman gasped. “Caught me… near the well. D…drag.. ahh!!!”

“Which well?” The calm voice inquired.

The woman coughed and her chest heaved, but there was no relief from the pressure on her throat. “Stab..”

Xena released her, flexing her hand then wipng her fingers on her gown. “Let her go.” She turned and walked back to her chair, seating herself and twitching the folds of her skirt into place. “Give her twenty dinars, and tell the men I better not hear this again.”

“But…your majesty!” Bregos objected. “Surely a loyal man’s life..”

Xena turned a cold gaze on him. “Do you question my judgement, general?” Her voice was mild, but icy.

“Never, Mistress, but…”

“Good.” Xena turned her head and ignored him. She found the woman captive looking at her in stunned shock, one hand at her own throat. The guards lead her out, stumbling, still watching the dias over her shoulder until the door shut behind her. “Next?”

**

Gabrielle wiped her forearm over her sweating brow and rested against the shovel she was using briefly.  She glanced into the fireplace, seeing at last the back of the long uncleaned space showing in the late afternoon light.

After lunch, she’d dutifully checked in with Stanislaus, and found he had nothing for her to attend to, so she’d been free to come upstairs and find something to occupy her time.

The fireplace had been her choice, in the private bedchamber. She’d figured this for the last place Xena would come in to before the late evening, giving her plenty of time to clean out years of soot and old, half burned wood chips.

She’d gotten a bucket and hauled out the old dust, then swept out what she couldn’t haul. The heavy stones were almost clean now, after she’d scrubbed them, and she was sitting in a soot covered heap examining her work with a sense of exhausted content.

“What in Hades are you doing?”

If Gabrielle could have leaped right up the chimney, she would have. She jumped in place, though, at the voice and turned, to find Xena leaning in the doorway to the outer chamber, watching her. “Oh!” The word almost came out a squeak. “I was… cleaning.” She said. “Cleaning the fireplace.. I didn’t expect anyone to be in here until later.”

Xena strolled inside and sat down. “Who told you to do that?”

Gabrielle rubbed her fingers together nervously. “No one.” She admitted.

“Why do you do things no one tells or expects you to do, Gabrielle?” The dark haired woman asked. “Slaves don’t go looking for more work.” She paused. “Or trouble. You do. Why?”

Very good question, Gabrielle acknowledged silently. Why was she doing it? “I don’t really know.” She answered honestly. “Maybe because I’m so lost here, I’m trying to find some kind of meaning in all this… in my life.”

Xena rested her chin on her fist. “And here I thought you were just sucking up to me to get privileges and maybe sell my secrets to the highest bidder.”

Gabrielle gazed at her for a moment. “Oh.”

“Anyone else would be.” Xena remarked. “Why should you be different?”

“Maybe I’m not.” Gabrielle looked down at her blackened hands. “And I just don’t know it yet.” She lifted her head . “I guess I don’t like being a slave. Maybe I thought if I showed you I could be useful you’d find something better for me to do.”

“Ah…. A little unaltruistic self interest. Now we’re getting somewhere.”  Xena chuckled. “You’re too honest. That’s gonna kill you.”

Gabrielle looked at her unhappily.  She felt trapped inside a deepening box of darkness, where no matter what her answer was, it was wrong. Honestly got her nothing but mockery, but she was very reluctant to lie to Xena. So she simply fell silent and waited.

Xena’s brow creased as she studied her little blond puzzle. The girl’s body language had changed completely, from  wary yet open to a sullen discouragement.  Surely she didn’t think Xena would just believe what she said, did she?

Xena expected lies. Everyone in her life wanted something from her, or was holding something against her.  Truth was something she had learned to painstakingly, and sometimes painfully, ferret out bit by tough bit. Trust just wasn’t even in her vocabulary.

She looked at the soot covered figure seated on the flagstones. There was no reason to trust her.

So why, Xena wondered, did she want to? Was it the round, innocent face? The pretty green eyes with their dangerous openness? The fact that she’d told Xena about Brego’s plan? That could easily have been a ploy on her part, to gain Xena’s confidence. “Gabrielle.”

The blond woman lifted her head and looked up.

Then Xena knew why. Because there was neither fear, nor hatred in those eyes, and by all rights there should have been both.   Gabrielle, it seemed, wanted to trust *her* - and that was sad and so, so dangerous.

Ah well. “Maybe there will be something better for you to do.” Xena spoke slowly. “Sometime.”

Gabrielle blinked, and took a breath.

“Don’t count on it. That wasn’t a promise.” Xena said. “But you’ve got more guts than half my army, and more brains than the other half. Damned if I shouldn’t be able to find something more useful for you to do than sweeping up fireplaces.”

Very tentatively, Gabrielle smiled.

It was an interesting smile, Xena found, because it wasn’t fake. It put a visible warmth in the girl’s eyes. “Then again, you may regret asking. I can be a dangerous person to take sides with.”

Gabrielle looked around her, then down at herself, then her eyes lifted back to Xena’s. “I.. um… I think you’re a lot more dangerous to take sides against.”

“Mm.” Xena narrowed her eyes. “Too bad more people don’t agree with you.”  She got up and stretched. “Watch out, Gabrielle. You’re caught between me and those against me. Better keep your head down.” She sauntered to the door and left the room.

“Thanks.” Gabrielle murmured to the emptiness. “I’ll try to be careful.”

**

Continued in Part 3

Shadows of the Soul

Part 3

Dinner was boring her.  Xena shifted in her chair for the nth time, wishing the evening would draw to it’s close already.  She’d carefully surrounded herself with courtiers she knew were most partial to Bregos, and given Bregos himself the favored chair at her right elbow.

All she had left to do was kick him into the trap she had planned, then she could call it a night and go beat something raw and bloody.

Xena found herself really looking forward to that, something she hadn’t felt in quite a while.  Maybe it was the frustration of dealing with Bregos, but her body ached for the release and her hand kept clenching, wanting to feel the hilt of her sword in it’s palm.

Was it time yet? Xena lazily let her eyes track across the crowd, judging their temper.  Satisfied, she cocked her ears and tuned into the conversation between Bregos and  one of the wealthier land holders, Stefan.

“The campaign was intriguing, yes.” Bregos cleared his throat. “The defense forces had held up in that river valley, and I had to develop quite a plan to smoke them out.”

It’s a closed ended valley. Xena mused idly. Why not just set fire to it, and put literal sense to that smoke out term? They’d either have run, or died, and it would have taken less time than the four moons Bregos had spent at it.

“And in the heat of summer, too.” Stefan shook his head. “Must have been a task to hold the men in.”

Ah! Xena gave her detested land toady a friendly, loving grin. Great opening.

“My men?” Bregos snorted. “Nah. They take discipline to a fault. No troubles there.”

“Really?” Stephan frowned. “How odd! I was just hearing the other day…”

Xena mentally applauded. “Yes… “ She drawled softly, drawing their attention to her. “Stefan’s right. I was hearing just the other day myself about some bad behavior in the barracks.”  She visited a warm smile on Stefan, who perked up as though she’d tossed a coin at him. “Very disappointing.”

Bregos sat back, at once on the defensive. “Mistress, I’m sure it was nothing. Just some overblown horseplay!”

“So you did hear about it.” Xena leaned on the arm of her chair. She caught the now subtly rapt attention from the rest of the table on them. “Mm.. I heard it was more than that. Almost a riot, in fact.”

“Yes!” Stefan interjected, not one to lose a rare opportunity. “Yes, your majesty! That’s exactly what I heard! That the men went wild, and broke up half the barracks!”

“Mm.” Xena nodded sagely. “Very… very.. disappointing.”

Bregos tugged on his  beard, caught very offguard. “Ah, well.. Mistress.. “ He made s show of shrugging casually.  “Twasn’t so much of a deal. Just some high spirits. You know how the men get, so competitive.” He said. “Pride was involved, and what more can I say?”

You can say your prayers, baklava for brains.  Xena settled back in her seat, raising the her voice just slightly. “Ah yes, pride.” She stated. “Perhaps, but destruction of my property is not subject to pride or any other excuse, Bregos.”

The general eyed her warily. “But, Mistress…”

“Nor can we allow the men’s spirits that kind of freedom.. don’t you agree?” Xena drove right over him. “It looks like we can’t control our troops, and what kind of example would that be?”

Bregos blinked at her, unsure of what her aim was. “Well..”

Xena tapped her steepled forefingers against the bridge of her nose, letting her silence force him into an equal silence.  “We have to keep them occupied.” She finally said, as though coming up with the plan in that instant. “We’ll have a tourney. Your troops, against the defense troops who stayed here. That way we’ll let them run their pride out against each other.”

“Oh!’ Stephan sat up. “Why, your Majesty, that’s brilliant!”

“Of course.” Xena replied, with a smile. “Don’t you agree, general?”

Bregos looked thoughtful for a moment, then nodded firmly. “As the good duke says, brilliant, Mistress. It’s a perfect idea, and the men will all love it.”  He agreed. “The more I think on it, the more I marvel at your wondrous leadership.”

Around the table, heads nodded. “Excellent plan, my liege.” Lastay said. “Shall we make it a festival?  A celebration would be very well received, I think.”

“Why not?” Xena gestured at him. “I love a good party.  Stanislaus?”  She turned and as expected, found her seneschal at her shoulder. “Make plans. We’ll use the field by the river.”

“As you wish, Mistress.” Stanislaus bowed, and left.

Xena watched the buzz spread, seeing approval and some excitement in the faces surrounding her. And why not? A celebration was, in fact, in order to honor the good year they’d had, and Bregos successes among other things.

“A truly excellent suggestion, Mistress.” Bregos rumbled, leaning closer to her. “I welcome the opportunity to show off my troops talents.” His eyes had a definitely smug crease around them. “And I know my men will enjoy it as well.”

“As will mine.” Xena drawled softly  “They love a challenge.”

“Of course, we will take into account that we are at an advantage…” Bregos countered. “After our recent victories, naturally our field seasoning will tell. But still, it will be a good display.”  He picked up his cup and sipped from it. “I am looking forward to it, indeed.”

Gotcha. “Mmm… perhaps.” Xena allowed. “But after those incidents in the barracks, I would have to wonder about… discipline.”

“Mistress.”

“You know how much I value discipline, Bregos.” Xena put a touch of ice in her tone. “It disturbs me to think there might be those who wear… my… colors who lack it.” She turned and studied him at close range, noticing again the slight twitch at the corner of his left eye.  “Am I understood?”

His nostrils flared. Muscles on his cheek tensed. “Perfectly, Mistress.” He kept his surface calm admirably. “I will make sure… very sure.. that my men know exactly where they stand on that.”

Ah.  Xena felt the challenge in the words and it excited her. “Good.” She settled back, watching benignly as the servers approached with dessert.  The nearest one knelt before her, offering up a tasty looking confection that glistened with honey. “My compliments to cook. Pass it round.”  She ordered, watching the man straighten and go to the end of her table with his serving companion.

It was a routine, but one she varied unexpectedly. They would start with one end, then the other, always serving her somewhere in the middle. It would be difficult for any one attempting to poison her to guess, and because she constantly shuffled her table companions, one might end up poisoning his patron if he wasn’t very canny.

The servers reached her and deposited a nice chunk of pastry on her pristine plate, bowing low before moving on. Xena broke off a bit of the corner and nibbled it, delighted with the sweet, nutty taste.  She focused her hearing around her, picking up bits and pieces of excited and pleased speech, most talking about the festival in an atmosphere that had relaxed considerably.

Only Bregos, to her right, radiated subtle tension, and Xena noticed he was picking at his sleeve, a nervous habit odd in such a large, robust man.   He seemed deep in thought.

Xena blew in his ear, making him jump in his seat and gasp.  She chuckled as he gathered his composure. “You need to relax more, Bregos. One of these days you’ll worry yourself into an ague.”

Forcing a smile, Bregos took a piece of his dessert, and visibly shook off his troubles.  He turned to listen to a question from his neighbor, leaning away a little from Xena’s chair.

Definitely improves the atmosphere.  Xena finished her piece of cake and delicately licked her fingers. In the momentary pause, a thought suddenly popped into her head.  Wonder what Gabrielle’s up to?  She licked her thumb, feeling curious about her curiosity. Bet she found another closet to clean. Her eyes drifted to the door, and she chuckled softly.  Hope she doesn’t find any unexpected skeletons in it.

**

Gabrielle collapsed onto her cot, resting her damp head against the wall in exhausted relief.  She’d worked hard all day long, and just before dinner, she’d been disconcerted to find Stanislaus arriving to inspect what she’d done, prowling around the queens’ quarters with a meticulous eye.

Which had eventually turned on her. “You have done well.” Stanislaus had told her, sounding more than a touch surprised. “She is pleased with you.”

Not really sure of what to say to that, Gabrielle had merely nodded.

“Incredible.” Stanislaus shook his head.  He lead her over to a brass bound wooden chest tucked into a niche in the inner hall and opened it. Reaching in, he sorted through it’s contents for a moment, then pulled a bundle of cloth out and handed it to her. “She said to provide you with this. Apparently her majesty believes you clean so industriously, you will require more clothing.”

And with that, he’d left.

Gabrielle rolled her head to one side and put a hand out, letting it rest on the pile of cloth she’d put down on the cot.  It was two more sets of sturdy tunics and aprons, though these were rich blue. She’d also discovered two pairs of warm leggings to go under them, and most incredible, a pair of serviceable, though worn leather boots.

“So weird.” She spoke to the blank wall opposite her. “I have more clothing right now than I ever did in my whole life, and I’m a slave.”  Her fingers stroked the fabric, releasing a faint scent of sun warmed cleanliness to her nose. “That’s not how it’s supposed to be, is it?”

Her mind went back to Xena’s words to her, about how if she did her work, she’d be fed and clothed and taken care of. “Well.” Gabrielle kicked her bare feet out a little, the cool air raising goosebumps on her newly bathed skin. “In a way, she was right, but she forgot to mention the little stuff, like being given to the soldiers to take to bed, and getting whipped for talking too much.”

She’d felt even more out of place down stairs, during dinner with Toris and the others. Even they plainly resented her, and it was obvious to her that their experience was far more grim than her own.

Part of her wanted to feel bad about that, but another part of her reasoned that she really didn’t have much of a choice, did she? She hadn’t picked herself to come up here, and while she could have done a lousy job and gotten kicked back to the kitchens or worse…

“Why should I?” Gabrielle looked plaintively at the ceiling. “It’s not like this is a real picnic. I work hard.” She said. “I have to put up with threats of dismemberment if I don’t do the right thing, and scary visits from her Majesty.”

But.  Gabrielle pushed herself to her feet and exchanged her rough work tunic for a shift, neatly folding the shirt and putting it onto her box.  She sat down and pulled her new clothes over, curiously tugging on a boot to check it’s fit.

“Hm.” She wiggled her toes. It felt strange, and sort of nice to feel the confines of the leather around her, and though worn, the boots were well made and sturdy. She removed the boot and set it down, then turned and lifted the lid to her box, putting her new clothes away.

Then she turned and stretched out on her cot, exhaling in relief at just being able to lie quietly still. The stuffed mattress under her back felt good, warming to her skin and giving way just a little as she wriggled into a more comfortable position. She pulled her blanket up over her and relaxed, letting her mind wander a little for perhaps the first time since her capture.

Of all things, she found her thoughts focusing on Xena. It shocked her, and she put it aside, focusing instead on her poor friends downstairs and her sister.  She closed her eyes and tried to remember Lila’s voice, her face.. and she was shocked to find how hard it was.  Already memories of her sister were fading a little, not much, not that she’d forget her, but even the horror of her violent death was losing it’s charge as she focused on staying alive herself.

Gabrielle wasn’t sure if she should be ashamed of that.  She loved her sister, and she missed her terribly, even though of course they’d fought sometimes, and had the usual disagreements that sisters have. If they had been home, right now, what would they have been doing?

The torches outside her nook fluttered. “Sleeping.” Gabrielle whispered. “Sleeping, with mama and da in the next room, and the lambs outside.”  Her eyes searched the ceiling. She might have been up, though. As the eldest, she sometimes hoarded those moments late at night, after a hard day’s work, to release her thoughts into fantasy and imagine a different world, a different life for herself.

She’d wanted to be a traveler. A wandering teller of tales, seeing the world and roaming it’s limits.

“So here I am.” Gabrielle heard the mockery in her own voice. “I wanted to go somewhere different, and look where it got me. This is different, all right.”

She heard the light scuff of footsteps approaching, and fell silent as she listened. The steps were light, and rhythmic, and the faintest rustle of fabric accompanied them. Gabrielle felt her heart speed up, and she wondered if it might be Xena on her way back from dinner.

The steps paused outside her nook. Gabrielle craned her head and peeked at the door, to see a tall, dark haired figure leaning in it watching her.

Okay. So what the heck was the protocol when the queen appeared in your bedroom and you were in a nightgown? Jump up? Bow? Roll out of bed? “Hello.” Gabrielle murmured, not at all sure of what was expected.

“Was that you talking to yourself?” Xena asked.

She knew she was blushing. “Um.. yes, I guess it was.”

“You guess?” The queen’s eyebrows lifted.

“It was.” Gabrielle admitted. “I was just.. working things out. Telling myself little stories, that kind of thing.”

“Ah.” Xena edged further inside, leaning against the wall. “Don’t tell me you’re a storyteller. Are you?”

Lying down was putting her at way too much of a disadvantage. Gabrielle sat up in her bed and wrapped her blanket around her, as she faced Xena. “Oh, not… I mean, just little tales, kid stuff.” She explained. “Just to amuse my…” She had to paused. “My friends.. at home. My sister, when we were out tending the sheep.”

“Hm.” Xena appeared mildly intrigued.

Gabrielle still felt a little awkward. She didn’t have any chairs, so she couldn’t ask Xena to sit down, and really, did queens just wander around the halls visiting slave quarters anyway?   She gazed at the tall woman, noting the sleek, catlike grace as she moved. “Wasn’t really anything.”

“Probably not.” Xena agreed. “You’re not old enough to know anything really interesting.”

Gabrielle frowned slightly.

“But, it’s been a damn long day.” The queen went on. “I had other plans, but I’m going to go remove this excuse for clothing and you, my little friend, are going to come up with a story to tell me.” Xena grinned at her.

“But..”  Gabrielle started to protest, but found herself staring at a blank space on the wall. Xena had simply vanished without much of a sound, leaving behind her the faint scent of honey and sage. “But I don’t have any stories I can tell you!”

She only thought she heard the echo of a chuckle answering her.

**

Not long after, somehow, Gabrielle found herself seated on a small, padded stool next to the fireplace she’d cleaned that very day.  Her exhaustion had been conveniently washed temporarily away by nervous terror, and she was glad she had a few minutes to gather her thoughts while Xena was undressing.

She’d done the reverse. Gabrielle had taken advantage of her new clothes and slipped into a  pair of the leggings with one of the blue tunics over it, the warmth making her feel a little better.

Just when she’d been getting comfortable, Xena had to shake her up again. Gabrielle felt a vague sense of resentment, at being capriciously hauled in to provide the queen entertainment after her long day.  A soft sound made her look up, to see Xena emerging from her dressing chamber, clad in a soft gown gathered at the waist with a casually tied belt.

Gabrielle blinked at little. She’d never met anyone before who had legs that were quite that long.

Xena dropped into a chair by the fire, draping one of the aforementioned legs over the arm of it and leaning on the other. “All right. Amuse me.”

Gabrielle took a breath. Then she released it. “What… um.. what do you think is funny?”

It wasn’t the response Xena had expected, apparently. Her dark eyebrows both lifted. “What do you mean?”

“Well.” Gabrielle tucked her bare feet up under her and rested her forearms on her knees. “When I used to tell stories to my friends, sometimes what I thought was funny, they didn’t.”

“Ah.” Xena studied her. “Try me.”

It was so hard. Gabrielle tried to reach back and make contact with the young girl telling stories in the barn she knew she’d been once. But when she did that, images of home, and her family came back to her with vivid intensity, and instead of humor all she could feel was pain.

It was overwhelming. She bit the inside of her lip and blinked, as tears filled her eyes.  After a moment, she knew it wasn’t going to work and she reluctantly raised her head, looking across the fireplace to find Xena watching her with a curious expression. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”

“Can’t?” Xena queried.

Gabrielle took a shaky breath and wiped her sleeve across her eyes. “No.” She murmured. “It..um.” She sniffled. “Reminds me of home.”

There was a soft creak as Xena shifted in her chair. “Thought I told you to forget about all that.”

“I know.” Gabrielle gazed at her. “But.. it’s not that easy. I wish I could forget.” She felt the words tumbling out. “I wish I could close my eyes and not see my sister die, or hear my parent’s screaming as they burned, but I can’t do that.” She felt the tears rise again and she fell silent.

Xena got up. Gabrielle flinched instinctively and leaned back, watching the tall woman approach with a mixture of fear and anxiety.

But Xena only crouched next to her, close enough for Gabrielle to see the sparkles of candlelight in the paleness of her eyes. “Was your sister the one in line right before you?”

Silently, Gabrielle nodded, caught in her gaze.

Xena stood up and walked past her, past the small table over to the now shuttered windows. She opened the shutter and looked out for a moment, then turned and perched on the sill.  Gabrielle had half turned to watch her, and now they simply looked at each other across the length of the long room.

Xena folded her arms over her body, her face cool and dispassionate. “I saw my mother killed.” She remarked, almost conversationally. “Wasn’t something I forgot.”

Gabrielle was caught almost breathless. Just when she was totally convinced there wasn’t a human bone in this woman’s body, she turns around and says something like that.  “Then..” She heard the husky note in her voice. “Why did you do that?”

“Do what?” Xena asked.

Gabrielle simply looked at her, knowing the tears were trickling down her face.

“Order all of you killed?”  The dark haired woman exhaled. She pushed away from the window and returned to her chair, settling in it and adjusting the edge of her robe with two long fingers. “It’s not your place to ask me that, slave.”

Somehow, Gabrielle kept her eyes level.

Xena’s lips twitched, slightly. “Because you were of no use to me, and I wasn’t about to pay keep for useless mouths.”

Slowly, Gabrielle’s eyes dropped and settled on the floor. “My father said that once.” She whispered. “About a litter of puppies.”

Xena was absolutely silent for so long after, that Gabrielle finally lifted her head again to see what the woman was doing.

But she was simply sitting there watching Gabrielle. Finally she spoke. “And because if the slaver took you on from here, the next stop was where he’d sell you all into a riverfront whorehouse, where you’d have been screwed to death in about a moon.”

Gabrielle froze motionless.

“So I killed him so there wouldn’t be any more kids dragged in here, and decided there were better ways for you to die than starvation in the wilderness.”   Xena arranged her hem again, glancing idly down at her knees. “That’s why.”  She watched Gabrielle’s face with interest as the girl’s eyes slowly dropped and her thoughts focused inward.

“Oh.” Gabrielle murmured.

“I could be lying.” Xena remarked. “Maybe I just did it for fun, to hear the screams.”

Gabrielle looked at her.

“Power makes you do that kinda thing, Gabrielle.” Xena lifted a hand and closed it into a lazy fist. “Maybe I did it just to torture you.”  She suggested. “You have to decide what the truth is.”

Gabrielle hugged her knees and rocked slightly, ordering her very chaotic thoughts. It was all too much after such a long day, and she found it virtually impossible to concentrate.

Xena got up again, but this time Gabrielle didn’t move back. “Go on.” She told the girl. “I’ll give you another chance some other night.”

She didn’t stop to even think about it. Gabrielle was just grateful for the reprieve, and she picked herself up and did as she was told, keeping her head down as she got to the door and went through it.

Xena looked at the closed door for a moment, then she released an oddly held breath. The entire scene bothered her, and she took the time to sit back down in her chair and figure out why.

She was very surprised to find that she couldn’t.

**

Gabrielle curled up on her cot, still in the clothes she’d put on to go into Xena’s chambers. She was cold, and the cloth barely helped her shivering, nor did the blanket she had tucked around her. After a few minutes, though, she felt the chills abate, and her body relaxed against the mattress.

Slowly, she unwound her thoughts. What had just happened in there? Her chest hurt, from the whirl of memories the scene had stirred up.  Xena’s words had stung like chips of slate, and her soul was bleeding from them.

You have to decide what the truth is. Gabrielle heard the echo in her head. “How can I decide what the truth is? You could say anything. How would I know?”

Gabrielle thought about what Xena had said.

She thought about Lila.

She thought about home.

She thought about that little girl who used to tell stories.

Gabrielle knew she could never get any of that back. Lila was gone, home was gone, and she could no longer even imagine being that little girl.

Could she?

You have to decide what the truth is.  Her eyes closed, as she thought.

Maybe the truth was that everything had changed, and if she wanted to live, she had to adapt to those changes. In a way, the cruelty of Xena’s order to leave her past behind had at it’s kernel a grain of kindness.

Of truth. Just like Xena’s blunt telling of her ruthlessness had that same grain of truth that burrowed under her skin and itched at her consciousness.

Damn it! Gabrielle thumped the mattress with her fists. She wanted so badly to hate Xena. She wanted to blame her for all the bad things that had happened  to her, and focus on her, on that tall, superior body all the anger pent up inside her.

But.

You have to decide what the truth is. Hating Xena would not bring anything back to her. Not Lila, not her home, not her life. Hating Xena would only make her life worse.  So if she had to decide what the truth was, she also had to decide how she would accept that truth.

She could embrace the hatred, or she could embrace the truth, and move on.

Gabrielle felt sleep crawling over her with a sense of inevitability.  Truth would, she decided, have to wait until tomorrow.

**

And so it did. Gabrielle woke the next morning feeling surprisingly well rested. She quickly lifted her head and looked at the door, afraid she’d overslept, but the dim light coming in from the high tower window reassured her it was still before sunrise.

She got up, rubbing her arms in the chill, and slid her feet into her new boots before she stood up. Not having her bare soles touching the cold rock enabled her to warm herself a little as she moved around her little nook.

“Brr.” Gabrielle washed her face and hands, and ran the wooden comb through her hair. She eyed the pale lengths with a scowl, then decided to tie them back.

It was early enough for her to take a walk around her small tower kingdom, so after she straightened her clothing out, she eased through the narrow door to her nook and into the tower proper. It was very quiet, the torches burning low only faint whispers of sound. Even the stairway down to the lower levels was dark and silent, it’s lower door firmly locked against intrusion.

Gabrielle walked around the perimeter of the tower, touching the hanging tapestries with curious fingers. They smelled of age and wool, but the colors woven into them were still vibrant and pleasing to the eye.  The tower itself, she’d soon realized, only had three entrances. One was the narrow stairs down to the kitchen. The two others lead out onto walkways that connected the tower to the rest of the stronghold. The queen’s quarters were, in a very real sense, isolated in this island of stone.

Purposefully? Gabrielle spared a glance at the iron strapped wooden door, that led into the inner hall of Xena’s rooms. To set herself apart here, in her tower, away from the terrors she sat in judgement over?

Gabrielle’s fingers trailed over the wood as she thought about her encounter the night before. She ended up at the door to the walkway, and she tested the latch, a little surprised to find it easily worked under her touch.  She pushed the door open, sucking in a breath of cool, fresh air.

Outside the door, the stone walkway stretched, ending in another barred entry on the other side. Gabrielle eased out and walked along it, tipping her head back to see the dark sky slowly giving way to the faint gray of dawn on the horizon.

She went to the edge of the wall and rested her elbows on it, peering over. On this side, the walls overlooked a precipitous drop, the mountainside the stronghold was built on dropping down to meet a fiercely rushing river below. Everything was green, and as she looked out there were fields and pastures that stretched out for leagues, surrounding small clusters of homesteads.

It looked… nice. Gabrielle rested her chin on her wrists. The land appeared rich, and well tended, and there was just an air of order about it that she found very appealing.

So different than home.  Potadeia had been a farming village cut into the scrub on a rocky piece of the land that only gave up it’s resources grudgingly.  Her family, and the others had struggled against nature, and fate every year to scratch enough subsistence together to stay alive.  The sheep had been their most precious resource, the animals able to stay alive on harsh grasses far better than the cows, and pigs some around them had tried.

And they’d been so alone. Only a few small villages nearby, and most of them in the same dire straits. All of them subject to raids by whatever local brigand groups were nearby and wanted a free meal, or a free roll in the bedfurs.

If she’d been home… if home had still existed, what would she have been doing?  Gabrielle exhaled into the dewy air, seeing just the faintest hint of her own breath before her. She would have been getting water, under her father’s critical eye and Lila would be hauling the wood in, both of them hoping to get to breakfast without causing a tirade.

So.

Gabrielle looked around her, at the towering stone walls, and the richness of the land. Was this better or worse?  She pondered, then turned and went to the inside wall and looked over. She could see the inner stronghold from here, the yards and the work areas. But not the kitchen yard, nor the slaughteryard her sister had died in.  She peered over and watched the stablehands emerge, two of them walking large, beautiful horses obviously well tended between them.

A soft, melodic voice rose, as one of the hands sang to his charge, and Gabrielle could see the big, black ears tilt to listen.  Past him, she could see a wagon being unloaded near the storeroom, and now the dawn air brought to her the sounds of the stronghold waking up and starting it’s day.

Gabrielle put her chin down on her wrists again.

**

Xena sat in the windowsill of her practice chamber. She watched the slight figure down on the walk move from one wall to the other as she struggled to decipher what on earth the kid was up to.

Unable to sleep, she’d gotten up candlemarks before, and decided to work off her restlessness instead of tossing and turning. Now, tired and rid of the nervous energy, she found herself presented with the enigma that had caused her unrest in the first place.

Xena leaned back against the stone, and rested her sword across her upraised knee. The hilts brushed against her chin and she could smell the tang of brass and leather.  Her shoulders ached and she could feel the sweat now drying on her skin.  She wanted a bath, and yet she sat here and watched this little blond creature, wanting to know what she was doing, and more importantly, what she was thinking.

Maybe that was the difference. Xena blew softly on  a spider, swinging it away from her head and sending it scurrying for it’s web. There was something going on inside Gabrielle’s head, something she couldn’t figure out.

That really bugged her. She kept thinking she knew where Gabrielle was coming from, had her nailed down as to her motives, and where she’d jump next, and the damn kid kept proving her wrong.

Xena pondered the object of her attention, watching as Gabrielle stepped back away from the wall and tilted her head, turning her eyes to the sky.  Even from here, she could see the questioning in the motion, as Gabrielle searched the heavens for meaning just as she was searching her for the same.

The coming dawn outlined the girl’s profile, which Xena found to have a pleasing symmetry. There was also a gentleness about her the watching monarch realized she liked.

Then the girl squared her shoulders, and took a deep breath, her hands flexing into loose fists and then relaxing.  She turned and headed for the door, oblivious of the eyes watching her.

Suddenly, Xena wanted to know what decision it was that had been made. She eased off her perch and sheathed her sword, making for the hidden door to her aerie and heading back to her quarters.

**

Gabrielle changed into one of her work tunics, and removed her boots. It was warm enough inside now, or she’d worked off the chill enough, so that the stone only felt cool to her feet, not cold. She carefully folded her leggings and put them in her chest, then gave her hair another brush before she headed for the stars down to the kitchens.

Something made her stop, at the first step. She paused and turned, trying to locate what it was. A noise?  Curiously she walked back across to the door to the queen’s chambers and put a hand against it, leaning forward and listening intently.

Unexpectedly, the portal opened inward, and she jumped as a tall, dark clad figure filled it, seemingly made of shadows and sinew. “Oh!” Gabrielle backed up, lifting her hands in front of her in startled fear.

The figure stopped.

The dawn broke and light entered the upper windows, shedding the shadows and revealing the face in the darkness to be Xena’s.

“Relax. I won’t hurt you.” Xena stated quietly.

Gabrielle caught her breath, blinking as she stared at the queen. Instead of her silk robes and fancy outfits, Xena was dressed in a drab, functional padded black tunic, with buckles that held the fabric tight against her body. Her legs were bare, as were her arms, and she was covered in sweat, the same sweat that drenched her hair and plastered it down over her head. Cradled in the crook of one arm she held a sword in a worn leather sheath.

Slowly, her heart stopped hammering. Gabrielle let her hands drop to her sides as she got over her scare. “I thought I heard a noise.” She said, softly.

“I hit the torch with this.” Xena indicated the sword. “Where are you going?”

“Down.. um, down to the kitchens. To help, and to have some breakfast.” Gabrielle replied. “I was.. I woke up a little early, and I thought about what you said last night.”

“And?” Xena kept her voice cool.

Gabrielle felt unsettled, as usual. But she forced herself to be calm, and thought about her answer. “I can’t change what happened.” She finally said. “I can’t forget it, but I can’t change it. All I can change is the future.”

Xena relaxed, just a trifle. “Good choice.” She complimented the girl.

“Thank you.” Gabrielle cleared her throat a little, glancing around at the empty hallway. “Sorry if I bothered you.”

“You didn’t.” Xena said, leaning against the doorway. “I was ridding myself of frustration.”

Gabrielle studied her curiously. There was something she couldn’t quite put her finger on that was different about Xena in that moment. Her eyes lifted and she found them captured by the pale blue ones of the queen, full of sparkles from the coming dawn.

Something. Almost an echo of something, deep inside her memories. A resonance that was, quite familiar.

“Hey.” Xena snapped her fingers in front of Gabrielle’s eyes. “Still sleeping?”

Gabrielle jumped a bit. “Um.. no.” She shook her head. “I was just thinking.”

Xena found herself enjoying this early morning encounter. “About what?”

“I didn’t know queens carried swords.” Gabrielle blurted out. “I thought they had guards for that.”

“Ah.” Xena pushed off the wall and backed up, opening the door wider. “Come inside. You ready to tell me a story yet?”

Gabrielle looked behind her, but the hall was still empty. She followed Xena into the inner hall hesitantly. “I don’t know.”

“Then I’ll tell you one.” Xena booted open her bedroom door and entered, obviously expecting Gabrielle to follow her.  She turned as she put the sword down, to see the girl in the doorway watching her. The look in her eyes was… indescribable. “Gabrielle.” Xena said, sharply.

The girl’s eyes shifted to hers warily.

“What are you thinking, right now? Tell me.” Xena ordered.

Slowly, Gabrielle’s head cocked to one side in thought. “I was just… I was thinking that dressed like that you look…” Her gaze swept over the tall figure.

Xena’s dark brows lifted sardonically. “Less queenly?” She smirked.

“More real.” Gabrielle answered softly, searching her face. “Like this is who you really are.”

Caught offguard by the raw truth in the words, Xena had no ready answer for that.  And so they stood in silence, facing each other across the length of the room until Xena finally shook off her paralysis and set her sword into it’s drawer. “Well.” She said. “That’s certainly up for debate by the masses.”

Gabrielle just stayed quiet.

Xena headed for her bathing room. “Sit down, Gabrielle. You can scandalize the seneschal by sharing my breakfast, if you dare.”

Oh boy. Gabrielle slowly let out her long held breath. It was starting out to be a very dangerous day.

**

But breakfast wasn’t as bad as she’d expected it to be. Gabrielle sat on her little stool near the fire, glad of it’s warmth against her bare legs. Xena had the leaded paned windows open, and a cool breeze fluttered the fabrics in the room.

She had an egg on a muffin. Gabrielle found she enjoyed it very much, eggs being a rare treat in her life since the few their hens had laid had all gone for sale. She nibbled the muffin slowly to make it last, watching quietly as Xena reviewed some scrolls the seneschal had brought in with him along with the breakfast tray.  The look he’d given Gabrielle, of course, could have curdled the small glass of milk resting by Xena’s right wrist, but the queen had simply told him to leave the food for them both, and that she’d take care of instructing Gabrielle further.

It was such a weird feeling. Gabrielle had definitely gotten the impression that the seneschal didn’t like her being there, and resented Xena’s attention to her. But there wasn’t much he could say, so he just did as he was asked and left them in peace.

Xena had changed, from her worn black outfit into a silk robe, and was allowing the breeze to dry her long black hair. This was the first chance Gabrielle had really gotten to look at her for more than a moment and she found to her surprise that there were a lot of interesting things about her that she hadn’t noticed before.

Like the fact that she was a lot younger than Gabrielle had first thought.  Sitting across from her quietly reading scrolls, without the usual impatient energy that usually crackled around her, Gabrielle could see the lack of lines around her eyes, and the smooth contours of youth that were plain, now that her hair was pulled back to dry.  She had high cheekbones, and a powerful jaw, and the most perfectly arched eyebrows Gabrielle had ever seen.

“More lack of discipline.” Xena shook her head. “Damn it, what the Hades did that man think he was doing with those troops? Did he let them run wild over the countryside, too?”

Gabrielle correctly realized the question was not addressed to her, however, it did bring something up that had been bothering her last night. “You said you didn’t like what the river town was doing with slave children.”

Xena looked up, her piercing blue eyes sharp and questioning. “Yes?”

“So, why do you let the soldiers do that to slaves here?” Gabrielle asked. “I don’t understand what the difference really is.”

The tall body opposite her went very still. “What?” Xena said, in a low rasp.

Gabrielle blinked. “Some of the ones that came in with me, they…were… “ She slowed her speech, as Xena got up and approached her. “Sent down to the b.. barracks.”

With surprising gentleness, Xena grasped her by the shoulders and lifted her up to her feet, examining her face very carefully. “When?” She asked, very softly.

Puzzled, Gabrielle exhaled. “Yesterday, but…”

Xena released her, and pushed her back down onto her stool. Then she walked back over and picked up one of the scrolls, lifting it an examining it curiously. “Really.” She said. “Friends of yours?”

For some reason, a chill went down Gabrielle’s spine. “One of the girls that was captured with me, yes. We’d gotten sort of friendly.”

“They rape her?”

Gabrielle brought up the girl’s image in her mind, seeing the bruises across her face and the hollows under her eyes. “I think so.”

“Hm.” Xena walked to the door and opened it. “Rejas? Could you please go down to the barracks, and get Brendan. Tell him I want to see him.” She paused, and her voice dropped to a hard, cold tone. “Now.”

“Majesty.” The guard bowed, and left at a run.

Xena stayed at the door, trying to keep a lid on the anger churning in her guts. After a few breaths, she turned and went back to her chair, sitting down in it and folding her hands together. Gabrielle was watching her warily, part of her muffin still clenched, forgotten, in one hand. “Finish your breakfast.” Xena advised her. “They lose something, cold.”

Gabrielle relaxed a little, and started nibbling again. “I wasn’t lying.”

Xena’s lips tensed into a smile. “I know.”  She resumed her silent pose, and Gabrielle resumed her eating.

A minute later, there were hurried footsteps in the hall, and a soft knock.  “Come.” Xena called out.

The door opened, and Brendan entered, crossing the floor quickly and ducking his head. “Mistress? The guard said you’re wanting me.”

“Gabrielle here…” Xena replied. “Tells me that one of her fellow slaves downstairs was taken to the barracks yesterday, and used for the men’s sexual pleasure.” She said. “Is that true, Brendan?”

Her old captain was caught flat footed. His jaw sagged slightly, and a flush rose up from his neck. “Ah.. Mistress…”

“Is it?” Xena asked again, this time in a cold tone.

Brendan hesitated, then nodded. “Aye, Mistress, it is.”

If possible, Xena’s tone grew even icier. “That’s very disappointing, Brendan. How did that happen?”

The older man exhaled. “Wasn’t somethin… Bregos’ captain ordered it and the damnfool boy he sent didn’t know enough not to do it, and the damnnerfool guard at the kitchens didn’t have the sense to stop him.” He said. “Time we realized what went on, his men were saying how as that’s how the army was supposed to run, and how as…”  Brendan cleared his throat, as Xena stood up and walked over to him. “How as they was sorry for us cause you had that rule you do.”

“You know the men who did it?” Xena asked flatly.

Brendan looked up at her. “Aye.”

“Good.” Xena nodded. “Step outside. Don’t move. I’ll be right out.”  She gave him a shove towards the door and waited for him to go through it, then she walked to her wardrobe and pulled out some clothing.  “That’s two very valuable things you’ve told me, Gabrielle. You’re proving quite a jewel.”

Gabrielle watched her stalk past. “Thanks.”  She murmured, deeply at sea. “But what…”

“Sh. Just wait.” Xena ducked into her dressing room. “Just wait and see.”

Okay.  Gabrielle swallowed the last of her muffin, and did as she was told. Whatever it was, she suspected, wasn’t going to be nice.

**

Xena glanced around her as she walked down the narrow hall towards the barracks. She was conscious of both Brendan and Gabrielle at her heels and of the simmering fury roiling her guts. They came to a small, nondescript door and she paused with her hand on it before she pushed it open. “Stay quiet, unless I ask you to talk.” She instructed them.

Both nodded. She pushed the door open and slipped inside. The barracks were cool, and at this hour, fairly dark. Men were clustered at one end, and despite the crowded conditions, the structure was well kept and orderly.

Xena heard Gabrielle draw a sharp breath and she scanned the interior, trying to pick out what would have caused the reaction. Her eyes fell on a cot near the back wall, where a small form was tossed very much like a rag doll might have been.

Without a sound, Xena turned and looked at Brendan. He refused to meet her eyes.  Xena pointed to the bed and gave Gabrielle a nudge towards it. She waited until her young slave had gone to the limp figure before she turned and studied the room. No one had yet seen her, and she had a moment to plan her attack.

A tall, burly man was standing near the front door, laughing. He had his belt over his shoulders, and the buttons of his trousers were undone. “That Brego’s captain?” Xena asked Brendan.

“Aye.” Brendan answered in a whisper. “Mistress…”

“Don’t even bother.” Xena dismissed him. She gathered herself and walked towards the door, taking several steps before her approach was noticed.  Everyone scrambled to put themselves in order, ducking and bowing, and the man near the door hastily got his buttons down and ran a hand through his unruly hair.

“Mistress.” Several of the soldiers murmured, but none of them would look right at her.

They knew.

Brego’s captain straightened, and after the briefest hesitation, saluted her. “Your majesty.”

Xena stopped within arms distance of him. She turned and looked behind her. “Gabrielle?”

The blond woman looked up at her with agonized eyes.

Xena nodded, then returned her attention to the captain. “What’s that?” She asked in a mild tone, pointing over her shoulder at the bed.

The man’s eyes flicked to the body, then back to her. “Just an amusement, your majesty.” He said. “Nothing more.”

Xena looked him right in the eye. “Do you know what you are, Captain?” A lazy smile crossed her face.

He raised an arrogant eyebrow at her. “No, your majesty. What?”

Xena let her right arm drop to her side, and closed her fingers around the knife hilt that dropped into her hand. She set her body and struck, a lightning motion that cut across his body and slashed his throat from ear to ear. Blood exploded out of him as he flailed back, choking and gurgling to death on his own blood.

Xena kicked him in the groin, and watched him crumple over to the ground, a pool of rich red spreading underneath him. “You’re just an amusement.” She rolled him over with a foot, watching his frantic death throes with a dispassionate eye. “Nothing more.”

With a last gurgle, he died.  Xena flipped her dagger around and wiped it on the nearest soldiers shirtsleeve as he stood in utter shock next to her.  She looked around at the rest of the men. “The slaves here… are mine.” She said. “If another of them gets touched by any of you, I’ll cut open from gut to neck and hang you in the kitchen yard.”  She pronounced the words slowly and carefully. “Does everyone here understand me?”

“Mistress.” The whisper came back.

“Good.” Xena looked around her, at some of her own men standing there. “The fact that you stood by and let that happen disgusts me. You’re no better than he was.”  Her eyes narrowed.  “And I’ll remember it.”  She turned, allowing her cape to flow around her, and stalked back towards the inner door. As she came even with Gabrielle, and the poor slave’s bedside, she paused. “Is she dead?”

Gabrielle looked up at her. “No.” She said. “But she probably wishes she was.”

Xena nodded. “Brendan, have her taken to the infirmary. Tell the healers I said she gets top priority.”

“Mistress.” The older man whispered.

“Then come see me.” Xena added.

His shoulders slumped. “Yes, Mistress.”

Xena took one last look around, and shook her head. “Gabrielle.” She held the door open. “Let’s go.”

“Mistress.” Brendan dared to raise his head. “What shall I tell Bregos?”

Several extremely choice things crossed Xena’s mind and almost her tongue. “Tell him he needs a new captain.” She snapped. “Among other things.” She turned and followed Gabrielle out the door, slamming it behind her with enough force to dislodge a small stone set in the wall above it. The stone tumbled off down the hallway and stopped, rocking back and forth. “The answer to your question, Gabrielle, is that I don’t allow it.”

Gabrielle let a small, unhappy breath out. Angry as she had been at the horror done to her fellow slave, she never expected Xena to deliver such a penalty to the one who had done it. Life really didn’t mean a thing to Xena, did it? “Oh.” She managed to say.

Xena cocked her head and examined her in the torchlight of the corridor. “Glad you finished your breakfast before I did that?” She inquired, with ghoulish humor.

Stunned green eyes peered helplessly back at her.

“Come on.”  Xena sighed, losing her momentary quirk.  “It’s really not funny. I’ve let too damn much slip.”  She frowned and started off down the hall, trailing a whirl of dust behind her.

**

Gabrielle felt the silence around her as she entered the kitchen. She took a deep breath and just kept going, holding her head high as she moved around the boxes and approached the common room.  She got into line with the others and stood quietly, aware of the eyes fastened on her.

“It’s the queen’s girl.”

The whisper barely reached her. Gabrielle took a wooden trencher and accepted thick piece of bread which was then covered with an even thicker lamb stew.  It was late afternoon, and breakfast seemed a long way in the past given everything that had happened. She took her plate, and a mug of cider and retired to the benches, sitting down and balancing her plate on her knees.

No one sat next to her. Gabrielle frowned, feeling that it really wasn’t very fair of them, but at least she had some peace in which to eat.  Broken of course when Toris sat down next to her and extended his dirt encrusted feet across the floor. “Hi.” She greeted him. “Sure you want to sit here? I think I have plague written across my forehead.”

Toris set his mug down and sniffed. “Nah.” He looked around. “They’re just jealous.”  He speared a piece of lamb and ate it. “Besides, everyone heard what happened at the barracks today.” He nudged her with his elbow. “So you’re really in with her, huh?”

Gabrielle remembered his words about Bregos. “In with her?” She kept her eyes down. “I don’t think so. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I asked a question and it turned out to be more important than I figured.”

Toris ate in silence for a few moments. “Well, that question might have finally tipped the scales.” He lowered his voice. “Even her guys are mad. So good going!”

The lamb seemed unappealing of a sudden. “What do you mean?”

“Listen.” Toris grasped her wrist. “You don’t need to know. If you don’t know anything, you can’t tell her anything, and mess us all up.”

Gabrielle put her bread down and faced him. “Then why are you here talking to me? Why not go over there, and pretend I’m some kind of worm like everyone else does? I don’t need you sitting here telling me you know things but you can’t tell them to me.” She pulled her wrist free. “I’m really tired of it! I didn’t ask to get put up there, so you all can take your attitude and shove it!”  Her voice lifted and rang across the open space, into a sudden silence.

“Okay! Okay!” Toris shushed her. “I’m just trying to help you!”

“Help me?” Gabrielle let her voice rise again. “Give me a break! You all are busy plotting against the queen – let me tell you, she was the one who stuck up for us today, and she was the one who saved one of us from being raped again, and again. Not your general!  You’re not helping me, you’re not even helping yourself if you think he’ll let us go!”

“Gabrielle!” Toris clapped a hand over her mouth. “You don’t understand!”

Gabrielle shoved her trencher away and jerked his hand from her. “No, YOU don’t understand.”

“Shh!” Toris muffled her again. “Would you hush before you get us al killed!!!”

Gabrielle looked around her, and found a ring of threatening faces surrounding them.

“We’d better get rid of her. She knows.” One of the taller men said.

“No!” Toris countermanded him sternly. “Leave her alone! She’s our only key in there, remember!”

“She’s fallen under the queen’s spell, you fool! Can’t you see that!” The tall man snarled back.  “You looking to die? Give me the wench. I’ll take care of her and butcher her up nice so cook’ll feed her body to the witch upstairs!”

Gabrielle set herself to fight, understanding suddenly how dire her situation was. She got her feet under her, despite Toris’ grasp and lunged forward, taking him with her as she sprawled into the tall man’s legs. He fell over them, and cursed, and she rolled free. She jumped to her feet and bolted for the stairs, bowling over two of the cooks who were hurrying into see what the matter was. She felt a hand grab her shirt as she reached the stairs, but her speed was enough to pull herself free, and she took the steps two at a time all the way up.

At the top she paused to catch her breath, and turned, peering anxiously down into the dim recesses. She could hear yelling below, and then silence.  With a gasp, she leaned against the wall and felt her legs start to shake as her body reacted to what had happened.

Or what had almost happened. Feeling sick, she stumbled into her little nook and collapsed onto her cot, not sure whether to throw up or cry.

Footsteps approached and she clutched the side of the cot, staring at the opening to her space with wide eyes.  But it was only Stanislaus who appeared, pausing a moment before he entered and walked over to her. Gabrielle tensed, but Stanislaus lifted his hand in a calming gesture, and crouched down next to her. “Easy.”

Her own breathing sounded harsh in the silence.

“Easy there, Gabrielle. It’s all right.”  The seneschal told her, in a gentle voice. “It’s all right.”

Green eyes watched him closely. “Are you with them, too?” Gabrielle asked.

“No.” Stanislaus shook his head. “I am Xena’s, body heart and soul. I always have been.”  He put a hand on her knee. “But you are in a very, very dangerous place, little one.”

Gabrielle’s shoulders slumped. “I know.”  She whispered. “But what am I supposed to do?”

Surprisingly, the seneschal settled on the floor cross legged, and rested his elbows on his thighs.  “That’s the rub, isn’t it? Know this, Gabrielle, that plots have been around in this stronghold for all the years of my Mistresses’ reign here. There is always something brewing. You need not trouble yourself with it.”

“Oh.” Gabrielle said.  “It’s so confusing.”

“Just so.” Stanislaus agreed. “And you have put yourself in it’s way, because my mistress has taken a liking to you. It is not good for you, I fear.”

Taken a liking to you. Gabrielle rolled that thought around in her mind.  “But it’s not my fault.”

“Of course not.” He agreed. “How can it be? You are just trying to survive, as are we all. Something about you, though, has attracted her notice, and done so quite strongly.” He said. “It is dangerous for both of you. For you, because you are just a slave, and so expendable. For her, because you give them a portal into her defenses that would not be otherwise.”

Gabrielle winced, at the truth of the statement. “What should I do?”

Stanislaus appeared to consider the question. “Because I love my queen, I will do this. I will get you out of here, Gabrielle, and I will put you on the road to your freedom.” He told her, gravely. ‘Tonight, we will leave here. A trusted friend of mine will take you under darkness, and you will never have to see this place again.”

Freedom.

Gabrielle felt lightheaded. “Does the queen know you’re doing this?” She asked.

“No.” Stanislaus shook his head. “And she will be furious with me when she finds out. But it’s the best thing for both of you, can you see that, Gabrielle?”

She nodded. “I see that.”

He let out a sigh almost of relief. “Stay here. Be quiet. After darkness falls, I will come for you.”

“All right.” Gabrielle answered him. “Thank you.”

He reached over and ruffled her hair, then hoisted himself to his feet and brushed his velvet clothing off.

“You’re taking a really big risk, aren’t you?” Gabrielle asked, suddenly.

Stanislaus gazed down at her. “Larger than you could possibly know.” He gave her a slight nod, then slipped out the door and padded away, his soft boots making almost no sound on the stone.

Gabrielle. You’re going to go free. This will all be behind you. Isn’t that incredible?   She blinked, very surprised to find tears trickling down her cheeks, and her heart heavy as lead inside her chest.

**

Xena paused near the wall and listened. She was on her way back from the afternoon’s court, where Bregos had been conspicuous by his very conspicuous absence.  Stomach ills, his major domo had pleaded in his defense, making very hearty apologies to Xena in his behalf.   More than likely, his stomach had been upset by the death of his captain, and he wisely, in Xena’s view, wanted to give his queen a little time to cool off before he braved her presence.

Perversely, that cheered Xena up.  However, on her way back to her quarters, she’d smelled an unusual smell off the main hall, and gone to investigate. She sniffed, and moved on, trailing the scent down to a small, almost never used door whose lock was almost rusted shut.

Almost. Xena worked the mechanism, which gave off a scent of pig’s oil, recently applied. Her hackles rose, and she eased the door open, putting her eye to the crack and peering through.

Ah. A horse’s rump faced her, the source of the scent she’d been following. “Smell enough horseshit, must be a pony around somewhere.”  She opened the door further and slid out into the twilight.  Two horses were tied to an iron spike set in the wall, fully harnessed, and carrying what appeared to be traveling gear on their backs. “What have we here?” Xena murmured.

The breeze lifted. Her nape hairs lifted with it, and she stiffened, her head turning as her senses attempted to locate the threat her instincts had warned her off.

The barest plucking sound was all the warning she had, and in the deepening gloom she whirled and reached out both hands in a flickering motion, her fingers closing around the shafts of two crossbow bolts.

And then a searing bolt of fire pierced her back, sending her lunging forward almost into the horses hindquarters. She whirled in pure instinct, shoving back the pain enough to pull herself behind one of the horses, shielding her body against any more arrows.

Damn! The pain was incredible.  She could feel the arrowhead cutting her deep inside, and held onto her composure with an iron will. Bastards!

She heard the clatter of  weapons dropping, and then running footsteps. It was too dark for her to see anything, but by the same token, she knew it had been too dark for her attackers to see her.  In fact, she wasn’t sure who she was more furious with, the son of a Bacchaes who shot her, or herself for walking into it.

Three crossbows. One more than she had hands to  catch, and a lucky shot. With a soft curse, she leaned against the horse and reached behind her, her fingers brushing against the shaft of the bolt sticking out of her back. Just touching it made her clamp her teeth down on her lower lip, and brought the taste of blood to her lips.

Forcing herself to calm, she took a few deep breaths and let her nerves settle.  Okay. She was in trouble. Xena mapped a course in her head. She had to get back to her quarters, and get this damn thing out of her. How? She left that to when she got there, and slowly, grimly, started her long walk back.

**

She was dressed in her warmest set of clothing. The leggings, tucked into the leather boots, a shirt, and her blue tunic over it.   Gabrielle sat on her bed, her arms wrapped around her knees, just waiting.  She knew there was something she wanted to do. She knew walking out of here, leaving Xena behind without a word was haunting her for reasons she couldn’t even begin to understand.

She knew she had the little note Xena had left her tucked inside her shirt, a bit of precious nothing that meant inexplicable volumes to her.  On the table, next to the basin, she’d left a folded piece of parchment in return, her only chance to leave this strange woman, who scared her half to death a few words, however insignificant.

I don’t know you. You don’t know me. But you will be part of my life I will never forget, both for bad reasons and good ones. Y ou took from me all I had in the world, and yet, you gave me a piece of myself I would never have found otherwise.  Good luck. Be well.  G.

With a sigh, Gabrielle pulled her knees closer, trying to ease the ache in her chest.  She glanced at the door, seeing the last fading of the light, and as she did so, she heard the faint scuff of approaching footsteps. Squaring her shoulders, she straightened up, and let her hands rest on her knees. She fixed her eyes on the door and waited, hearing the steps come closer and closer.

And then they stopped. Gabrielle stood, taking one last look around her little space. She clenched her hands lightly into fists, then let them relax against the thick fabric covering her thighs, ready to move forward as soon as Stanislaus entered.

The torchlight was blocked, and she started for the door, then stopped, as the dark outline resolved itself not into the senechal’s stocky form, but a taller, slimmer figure that stood hesitantly before her. “Gabrielle.”  Xena’s voice was husky.

Her heart almost jumped out of her chest. “Yes?” Gabrielle whispered.

“I need your help.”

All thoughts of Stanislaus fled her. “Of course.. what’s wrong?”

“Come with me.”  Xena turned and started back, her motions hesitant.

Gabrielle followed, pausing in the doorway as she heard heavier bootsteps coming up the back stairs.

Stanislaus.

Freedom.

She turned her back on them, and disappeared into the queens’ inner corridor, hearing the door close behind her, with a startling lack of regret.

**

Continued in Part 4

Shadows of the Soul

Part 4

Gabrielle followed the shadowed form across the inner chamber, closing the door behind her. She could see there was something wrong, and as Xena went towards the window and half turned, her eyes caught a thin, protruding line that marred the back of her gown. “Wh..”

Xena leaned against the wall. “Come over here.”

“Okay.” Gabrielle quickly complied, pausing as she smelled the strong copper scent of blood. “Are you..” This close, she could see the muscles tense across Xena’s jawline, and hear her slightly labored breathing. “Hurt.. I.. w..”

“Gabrielle, shut up.” Xena snapped.

With a click of her teeth, Gabrielle did so.

Xena drew in a breath. She had so very few options. “I’ve got an arrow in my back.” Xena went on, through clenched teeth. “I need you to cut it out.”

“C..”  Unbidden, Gabrielle moved closer, and now she could see that the thin line was, in fact, an arrow shaft. “By the gods…”

“Only in their dreams.” Xena replied. “This was done by a more mortal agency. Take this.”  Her hand slowly emerged from her gown, and extended itself towards Gabrielle. In it was a level of trust she hadn’t allowed in more years than she cared to remember.

“Shouldn’t I go get a healer?” Gabrielle reached out to take whatever it was anyway, and was shocked to feel her fingers closing around the cold hilt of a knife. She almost dropped it, the weight was surprising, and it glittered in the candlelight as she brought it closer.

“No.” Xena rested her shoulder against the wall, feeling the stone cold on her cheek. “Just do as I say. Cut the fabric around the shaft.” She was chilled by more than the wall, very aware of the sharp blade at her back.

Hesitantly, Gabrielle complied, moving closer to see better what she was doing. She carefully lifted the gown off the skin underneath and used the knife to cut through it. The sound of the blade slicing the thread seemed unnaturally loud to her, until she realized it was because both she and Xena were holding their breaths.  Letting hers out, Gabrielle sliced through more of the dress, and exposed the skin around the arrow shaft.

It was horrible.  The head of the arrow was buried inside Xena’s flesh, and the skin around it was raw and bloody, bruised deep with a lurid, mottled blue. “It’s…”

“Ugly.”  Xena finished for her. “What color is the shaft?”

Tearing her eyes away from the hole, Gabrielle studied it. “Yellow.”

“Feathers?”

It was hard to tell in the candelight. Gabrielle leaned closer. “Blue, I think.”

Xena cursed softly. “Not my lucky day.” She closed her hand around a piece of iron sunk into the wall and readied herself. “It’s got a two barbed head. Take that knife, and cut around the shaft until you get around both of them.”

Gabrielle almost bit her tongue. “Cut… around…in you?” She barely got the words out.

The faintest of pained smiles touched Xena’s lips. “That’s where the damn thing is.”

Gabrielle stared at the spot. “I don’t know if I can do this.” She whispered.

“Sure you can.” Xena held her temper with a fine thread. “You’ve got an imagination, or so you claim. Pretend I’m a lamb shank you’re butchering.”

“B..”

“Gabrielle.” Xena gentled her tone. “I’d rather not die standing here debating with you.”  She felt silence at her back, then the light touch of a hand on her shoulder.  A healer would, of course, have been far the smarter course, but right now Xena wasn’t sure she had one in the entire city she was sure hadn’t been compromised.

Was she even sure about this kid? She almost laughed. She’d given Gabrielle more than reason to take the opportunity she was giving her and…Xena inhaled, feeling the searing pain get worse. “Find the feather with the black stripe.” She said. “The barbs will go the other direction.”  But she was out of options. Either Gabrielle would save her, or kill her.

Gabrielle brought the candle closer.

“Let the point of the knife in the flame for a little bit.”

Her hand was shaking, Gabrielle noticed, as she complied. The flame’s reflection on the blade bounced all over the room from it. Finally she removed it, and watched the metal cool to a slightly blackened stain.  She marked where the black striped arrow was and put the tip of the blade against the skin of Xena’s back. She felt the surface move as Xena took a deep breath and in that moment she realized the power she held in her hand.

She could kill Xena. Right now.  All it would take was for her to lean forward hard, and Lila would be avenged.   Did Xena know that? Gabrielle looked up. Xena had her head resting against the wall, and she could see the white knuckles as her hand squeezed the metal spike. Her eyes were looking right out the window, and in that window’s reflection Gabrielle’s gaze met hers.

Xena knew.

Gabrielle attempted a reassuring smile. She didn’t think she was that successful, so she tore her eyes from the pale blue glints and focused on the task at hand. “I.. I’m going to do it.” She said. “Now.”

Xena leaned more heavily against the wall and closed her eyes. “Go on.”

She paused as the point touched Xena’s skin. “Why are you trusting me to do this?”

For a moment, Xena merely stood there, breathing. “Because there is no one else.” She finally said. “Do it.”

Gabrielle fastened her eyes on the arrow shaft, and forced her hand forward, forced the blade into the bruised flesh. A line of blood appeared, and she felt her stomach knot, but the surface under her hands didn’t move even a twitch and she continued to slide the knife forward. The tip felt some resistance, and as it did she felt the faintest flinch from Xena. “Sorry.” She angled the tip a little and cut around the barb, freeing it and causing another spurt of blood.

It obscured her view, and she had to wait a moment for it to slow. Then she dug the point in again, deeper , digging for the second barb. Xena was still as stone under her, but Gabrielle could hear how strained her breathing was and she knew she must be hurting her horribly. Her hand started shaking a little, but she pushed forward, finally feeling the edge of the blade slip around the second barb.

With a soft hiss, she went to work on the other side, stealing a glance at the face reflected in the window, to see lines of agony written across the clenched jaw. “Halfway done.” She spoke softy.  Xena nodded very briefly, but didn’t speak. Gabrielle cut into the other side, relieved to find the barb closer to the surface on this side. She eased the flesh past it, and went for the last one, feeling her way as the sluggishly flowing blood blocked any view.

Her hand slipped, and she felt the knife go in deeper than she’d expected, and Xena’s whole body jerked under her. “It.. it’s okay.” She eased the point back and it grated against the barb, then slid free.

The arrow shaft moved in her other hand as she gently pulled it back, and the blood covered head came clear of Xena’s body. “It’s out.”  She quickly put the arrow down on the windowsill, as Xena shifted and her eyes opened. “Now what do I do?”  She put the knife down next to the arrow.

Xena gazed tiredly at the weapons, her mind on overload from dealing with the pain. Breathing hurt. Thinking hurt worse, and it took her longer than she thought it should have to absorb the sight of that arrow lying next to that knife on the ledge.

“Is it bleeding much?” She finally asked.

“Yes.” Gabrielle’s quiet voice answered.

“Take that basin.. there’s a cloth in it. Run water over the hole.”

That was easier, at least. Gabrielle grabbed the water and did as she was asked, squeezing the linen over the wound again and again as the blood slowly stopped gushing.

“Now, in that first drawer, there’s a bag.” Xena had her eyes closed. “There’s a bag of powder and some cloths. Put the powder where it looks the worst, and put the cloths over it.”

Gabrielle put the basin down, trying not to see it’s red stained contents. She pulled the drawer open and found the bag Xena had mentioned, her fingers rubbing across a well used, hand imprinted leather cover. She opened the case, and an odd scent, herbal and potent, rose to her and almost made her sneeze. She removed the bag, and the clothes. In the bottom of the case there was a set of small knives, and slim, bone needles, softly clinking together as the bag moved.

She carried the items over and removed a handful of the powder, gingerly sprinkling it over the still bleeding wound. It mixed with the blood, and she heard Xena inhale sharply. “Does that sting?”

“A little.” Xena muttered.

Gabrielle folded the clothes and pressed them over the wound. “Okay.”

“Take that cloth. Wrap it around me to hold it in place.”

Gabrielle complied readily, holding the end over the bandage and hesitating as she realized she’d have to pass the other end around Xena’s bare body.

“Go on. I’m not ticklish.” Xena murmured.

Gabrielle leaned forward, brushing her body against the queens as she reached around her, grabbing the end quickly and getting it tied into place.

“Done?”

“I think so.” Gabrielle examined her work, then stepped back.

“Good.” Slowly, Xena pulled herself upright, hanging on desperately as the blood drained from her face. The pain was incredible, but she could breathe now and not feel the sickening jolt of the arrow inside her. Something else felt different, too, something tied in to the knife resting by her right hand.

She turned, leaning against the wall as she studied Gabrielle’s pale, strained face. A bit of humor surfaced from somewhere. “Chamberpot’s in the corner.” She drawled softly. “Don’t be long. I might bleed to death.”

Gabrielle visibly clamped her jaws shut and swallowed. “I’m okay.”

Xena’s eyes traveled up and down her body. She noticed the clothing Gabrielle was wearing, but at the moment she was just too tired to question it.  Summoning her flagging strength, she eased away from the wall and slowly crossed to the bed, pausing as she reached it then letting herself down onto it’s soft surface.

She sprawled out onto her stomach, and motioned Gabrielle over. “Come here.”

Gabrielle walked over and crouched down next to the bed.

“Sit.” Xena pointed at the floor. “If anyone knocks, if anything moves out there, wake me up.”

“All right.”

Xena put her head down on the pillow, her eyes watching Gabrielle’s profile. There was a smear of blood on the girl’s cheek – her blood. “Gabrielle?”

Pale green eyes, almost ochre in the candlelight turned her way.

“Why didn’t you kill me?”

The eyes widened, the pupils dilating as Gabrielle stared at her.

“You asked me why I trusted you, so…” Xena felt the pain start to subside a little, as a soothing lethargy inched over her. “Why didn’t you take your chance?  Get back for your sister. Probably get a reward from the lot of them in this place?”

Gabrielle rubbed the side of her face with her hand. She drew in a breath and met Xena’s curious eyes. “Because you trusted me.” She admitted softly. “And because killing is wrong, no matter who it is.”

Xena watched her with half closed, sad eyes. Then the pain forced the all the way closed, and she surrendered to it, hoping the trust was still placed in the right hands.

**

Gabrielle let her body stop shaking and relax before she lifted her head off her forearm and leaned back. So much had happened in so short a time it felt like her world had shifted yet again and she was in nothing but strangeness.

Her eyes drifted to one side, and she examined the sleeping face of the queen, so close to her. Even now, she could see the tension across the woman’s forehead, and she suspected the pain wasn’t allowing her to fully rest.

Gabrielle could hardly even imagine standing that kind of pain. She’d seen men, in her home village with minor injuries from the stock, or from tools, screaming their fool heads off at injuries not a patch on the one Xena had.

It had taken a lot of courage for her to stand there, while Gabrielle dug into her flesh with that knife, and no matter how she felt about Xena, there was no way for Gabrielle to deny that.

She played with the drawstring on her shirt sleeve, stained crimson with Xena’s blood. It had also taken courage for Xena to trust her with that knife, and there was something about that trust that touched her down in a place so deep she could still feel the echoes of it.

She could get up and go find Stanislaus, she knew. Probably he was wondering where she was, his plans sent tumbling when she wasn’t there waiting for him. Would he come in here to look? What would she tell him?

Well. Gabrielle got up and studied her surroundings. First thing to do is clean the place up. Anyone coming in would smell the stench of blood, and she’d gotten the impression that Xena did not want anyone to know what had happened to her.

First, the blood on the floor.  She went to the door and peeked out, finding the hall quiet and empty.  Quickly, she slipped out and over to the main door, opening it carefully and peering out into the circular foyer. It too, was empty. She exhaled in relief and bolted for her cubby, grabbing her cleaning tools and another tunic, and racing back to the queen’s chamber.

Xena was still asleep, the ripped gown exposing the bandage, and a good portion of her back.

Gabrielle studied her for a moment, then she set her things down and lifted the silk covers, gently pulling them over the injured queen up to her waist. Leaving the pressure off her back, she gathered, was the wisest course.

She watched Xena’s quiet breathing, and then she turned and got to work cleaning the bloodstains off the floor.  It took a while, because the blood had seeped into the stone, but she kept at it and eventually she had the flagstones clean again.

Gabrielle looked at the pile of bloody rags. Now what?  Her eyes fell on the arrow, and the knife. She got up and studied them. The arrow she carefully put inside the drawer, next to the herb kit. The knife she cleaned off and wrapped in a piece of linen, placing it next to the arrow before she closed the drawer firmly.

She went to the basin and took it to the garderobe, dumping it down the shaft. Then she poured more water in from the water jug and swished it around, sending that down the shaft as well. She collected all the blood stained linen and folded it into a packet, then she walked over and gently tossed it into the fire.

The flames ate the cloth greedily.  Sparks popped as the blood was consumed, until the packet was nothing but ash.  Gabrielle turned, satisfied by the clean up. She picked up the fresh tunic she’d grabbed and quickly changed into it, folding her stained one up into a neat ball. She ran her fingers through her hair and set the folded tunic aside, near the ash cleaner.

Now what? Gabrielle nibbled the inside of her lip, then she stuck her head into the outer chamber and spotted some fruit left over she guessed from lunch. She gratefully gathered the pieces, and took them back with her into the bedroom, settling down again next to the bed with the apples and pears nestled in her lap.

She drew in a deep breath, and released it, selecting a pear and turning it in her fingers to find a good place to bite in.  Some instinct made her look to her right before she did, though, and she blinked in surprise when she found Xena gazing back at her, from half lidded eyes. “Oh.”

“Y’say that a lot.” Xena observed.

“I guess I do.” Gabrielle put the pear back down. “Is there something I can get you? That must hurt a lot.”

“Ever held a burning firebrand to your skin for a candlemark?”

“Um.. no.”

“Mm.” Xena exhaled. “There’s a.. “ She stopped talking for a moment, and her eyes closed.

Obeying an instinct written deep inside her, Gabrielle reached up and touched the hand now clenched around the bed linens, feeling  a quiet compassion for a fellow creature in pain.

Xena’s blue eyes popped open and fastened on her. Gabrielle quickly removed her hand, and put it back in her lap. Compassion was one thing. Getting one’s fingers bitten off was another.

“You have a hot date tonight?” The queen asked suddenly.

“What?” Gabrielle’s eyebrows scrunched together.

“You’re dressed for outside. Where were you going?” The blue eyes were pain filled, but very sharp. They watched Gabrielle’s face intently, and this close there was no way to hide anything from them.

Gabrielle looked down at her booted feet.

Will this be the first lie?  Xena wondered. Did they get to you so soon, kid?

“People say… my being here is dangerous to you.” Gabrielle said. “So they were going to take me away, and let me go free.” She waited until she finished speaking to look up, and over at Xena.

“Who said that?” Xena asked. “Stanislaus?”

Gabrielle nodded.

A low, hissing breath sounded. “Bastard.”

“But..” Gabrielle was confused. “He said… I mean, what he said made sense.” She stammered. “And he said he was…”

“Mine?” Xena’s voice oozed deadly sarcasm. “Body, heart and soul?”  Her eyes closed, and she shook her head. “Gabrielle, no one’s mine. I have no friends, and I have no one I trust. At most, I have occasional allies and people who tell me they love me so I won’t kill them.”

Gabrielle rested her chin on her forearm, feeling somewhat stupid.

Xena studied the young profile. “That explains the horses outside.” She realized.

The blond head lifted and turned. “Horses?”

“Mm.” A nod. “Damned ironic.” Xena murmured. “I think I took your arrow. The bastards were outside waiting for whoever was going to take off on those horses.”

Green eyes widened.

“You didn’t really think they were just going to let you out the gates, didja?”  Wry cynicism colored the queen’s tone. “Another escaping slave, shot in the back. Wouldn’t have even made the watch report.”

Gabrielle put her head back down, now feeling really stupid. She gazed glumly at the fire, hating most of all the disdain in Xena’s tone. “I didn’t know.” She whispered.  Stanislaus would have led her out there, and then…

And then she would have died, probably.  She peered over at Xena, whose eyes had closed in visible pain again. Instead, for some reason Xena had chosen to walk outside, and was now suffering what she, Gabrielle might have been if things had been just a moment’s worth of different.

She reached up and covered Xena’s hand with her own again, but this time when the blue eyes opened and focused on her, she didn’t budge. “I’m sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing.”

Xena released a breath. Stanislaus, you don’t know how lucky you were tonight. “I warned you about thinking, didn’t I?”

Unaccountably, Gabrielle smiled at her. For the first time, a real smile, one that lit her face up, and put a twinkle in her green eyes.

Xena wondered when the last time someone had actually smiled at her and meant it had been. It was hard to remember.  She felt the pain wearing on her again, and she wanted to close her eyes, but if she did, she’d lose sight of that interesting smile.

And now, with the hole in her back, her problems had just gotten far, far worse.  Her plans would have to change and it looked like young Gabrielle had just made herself an important part of them.

Faintly, Xena returned the smile. Arrow or not, she was glad she’d broken up Stanislaus’ little scheme.

Now it only remained for her to decide what to do to him for it.

**

Gabrielle finished her second apple, nibbling around the core until there was nothing left but the hard seed shell, and the seeds themselves. It was nearing midnight, and Xena had fallen back asleep, her body finally relaxing fully and her breathing slowing and deepening.

It was quiet, and very peaceful.  Gabrielle got up and took her fruit remains to the tray, then washed her hands off and dried them.  She stifled a yawn, and looked around her, trying to figure out the best way to arrange herself to stay on guard all night.

Though.. Gabrielle smiled wryly. The idea of her being a guard was pretty funny. She knew she wasn’t really guarding Xena, more like providing a fast warning for her in case anything happened. Xena could take care of herself, if what she’d seen in the barracks was an indication, though now that she was hurt…

Gabrielle studied the still figure on the bed and sighed. She felt really confused – her emotions were jumping back and forth like a spring lamb and it was giving her a headache.

Would anything happen? Gabrielle walked around the room a little, getting the kinks out of her legs from sitting at Xena’s bedside for so long.

A soft knock on the door ended her speculations. Gabrielle twitched her tunic straight and walked over, opening the door slightly and peering out.

Stanislaus looked back at her.  “Ah. So there you are.” His eyes narrowed. “I can tell the guard to stop looking. I found your cell empty, and assumed you got impatient waiting.”

Oh boy. Gabrielle forced down the panic. “The queen asked me to do something.” She answered quietly.

“Really? And what was that?” The seneschal demanded.

Gabrielle stared at him. “A task.” She finally answered.

“Perhaps I should ask her.” He put his hand on the door and pushed, but Gabrielle’s body was against the inner side, and slight as she was, it didn’t move.

Letting him in and having him see Xena’s injuries abruptly seemed like a very bad idea. “It’s.. um.. late. I don’t think she wants to be bothered.” Gabrielle warned him softly.

“Shall we let her decide that?” He pushed harder. “Remove yourself, or I will.”

Gabrielle held her ground. “You really don’t want to do that.” She told him, urgently. “She won’t like it.”

“Who are you to say what she will, or will not like?” Stanislaus answered, in an angry tone. “You little slut slave.. remove yourself!”

“No.” Gabrielle could feel the sharp pain where the door was digging into her leg, but she leaned against it with all her weight. “I won’t. She said she didn’t want to be disturbed. Don’t you have to respect her wishes, or was that whole ‘body, heart and soul’ speech just lies?”

The pushing stopped. He backed off and studied her. “If those are her wishes.”  He said. “You could be lying.”

“I’d pick a better lie.” Gabrielle shot back.

“Would you, now?” The seneschal mused. “Perhaps you would.”

Gabrielle relaxed a little, but kept her eye on him and her thigh blocking the door.

“So.”  Stanislaus speculated in a cool tone. “Your task for the queen… it must have been… very engaging.”

“It was.” Gabrielle replied warily.

“And now?” His demeanor seemed to have changed completely. “She is?”

“And now she’s sleeping.” Gabrielle answered.

A knowing grimace crossed Stanislaus face. He lifted his hand and made a brief gesture, as though tossing a used towel from him. “So be it.” He brushed a speck of dust off his shoulder and stepped closer.  “However, I instructed you to wait for me.” He stated. “You did not.”

“She instructed me otherwise.” Gabrielle kept her gaze steady. “I’m not stupid enough not to know which one of you to listen to.”  She wondered, suddenly, if he was really part of the plot that had ended up with an arrow in Xena’s back. Or was he also a victim?  Why was he acting so strangely?

He  folded his arms. “I had thought to spare you her attentions, Gabrielle. It is unfortunate that fate decided otherwise.” The seneschal said, with a sigh. “Too little, too late, it seems.”

Huh? Gabrielle pondered the unexpected words. Hadn’t she already been subject to Xena’s attention? “I’m sorry your plan didn’t work out. But maybe it turned out for the best.”

Surprisingly, he laughed, with a nasty edge. “For you? Perhaps. Perhaps not.”  And then he turned and left, shutting the outside door behind him with a decided click.

Gabrielle did the same with the inner door, leaning on it and taking a very shaky breath. She shook her head and looked up, starting a little to find Xena watching her from the bed with intent blue eyes. She managed to strangle the exclamation this time, though. “Mprf.”

“Good work.” Xena said. “C’mere.”

With a deep breath, and a twitch of her shoulders, Gabrielle obeyed. She circled the bed and settled cross legged next to it.

Xena stiffly changed position, resting her head on her curled forearm to face her. “You got a question answered for me, and now I don’t have to break his arm to get the answer myself. Nice.”

“I did?”

Xena nodded slightly. “You tricked him into thinking I took advantage of you, and he showed his hand. Well done.”

Blond eyebrows contracted over Gabrielle’s green eyes. “I did?”

Xena chuckled. “Yes, you did.”

Gabrielle frowned, her face a study in thought. Finally she just shook her head again and looked up. “I really didn’t know what he was talking about.” She admitted. “I still don’t.”

A look somewhere between wry amusement and mild chagrin found its way onto Xena’s face. “How old are you?”

“Seventeen.” Gabrielle said.

“Virgin, right?” The blue eyes twinkled wearily.

Gabrielle felt a blush rise, warming her skin at the unexpected question. “I…um…” She cleared her throat. “I had a… well, we just never, ah…” She glanced at Xena. “Yes.”

Xena lifted one hand and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “Just my luck.” She commented. “ten thousand potential peasant slaves out there, and I end up with this one.” Her gaze lifted to Gabrielle’s face. “Remember what your little friend down in the barracks was having done to her?”

Taken  aback at the change of subject, Gabrielle stiffened. “Yes.”

“That’s what my old, dear, sweet, loyal friend Stanislaus thinks I’m doing to you.”

Gabrielle felt a sick chill take her at the words. She stared at Xena uncertainly, trying to read the cool expression on her face. “W..” She tasted something bad on her tongue. “Why would he think that?” She asked. “Do you..”

Xena listened to the words trail off into silence. Her momentary amusement was gone, chased away by the earnest green eyes staring at her. She was struck by the knowledge that not only did her answer really matter to this kid, it mattered to her that it mattered.

Bad sign.

“Rape people?” She finally finished Gabrielle’s question. “No.”  She watched a shudder of motion shift the cloth over the kid’s body as she relaxed. “I’ve never had to.” Xena added, with a very wry smile. “They generally come willingly. I’m not ugly, and sleeping with the queen’s never bad for either your career or your reputation.”

Gabrielle nodded. “I can see that.”  She replied gravely. “That’s what Bregos wants, isn’t it?”

“Mmhmm.” Xena made an approving sound. “But the rumors go around anyway.” She said. “Especially when I take an interest to cute little blond slave girls and they can’t figure out what I’m up to.”

Surprisingly, Gabrielle blushed again, to the roots of her pale hair.

Xena’s eyebrow rose slightly. “Let em talk. Makes it easier for me to keep you around to change these damn bandages.”  She said. “I think Stanislaus was the real target last night, and they figured to take you out for good measure.”

Gabrielle swallowed.

“Bregos wants to lead a coup.” Xena’s voice lowered. “He’s got the army on his side, and he’s working on the nobility. Unless I can squash him flat, he’s got a chance at it. You’re going to help me stop him.”

“B..”

“Why don’t I just kill him?” Xena’s eyes tracked restlessly around the room. “Make him a martyr? No. I have to cut him off at the knees.. destroy his mystique.. his reputation, first.” She said. “Then I’ll kill him.”

Gabrielle could feel the danger circling around her, and knew she was in a very bad spot. She exhaled softly, also knowing she had very few options open to her. If she turned against Xena, she was dead. If she didn’t, and Xena’s plan failed, she was dead. If Xena’s plan succeeded… well, she was probably dead anyway because what worth would she be to Xena after that?

The only thing she knew, after what she’d seen in the barracks, was that for her, at least, she was on the right side even despite what had happened to Lila. And who knew? Maybe she’d die, and end up back with her family sooner than she’d thought in the worst case.

Would it be so bad?  Gabrielle studied her hands, noticing the smudge of blood left on her thumb.

“Gabrielle.”

The sound lifted her nape hairs, just a little. Gabrielle looked up at the queen.

Xena’s face was very serious. “I don’t regret the choice I made.” She stated, in a clear tone. “And I don’t apologize for it.” Her expression altered slightly, a tiny pucker appearing in her brow as she held Gabrielle’s gaze. “But I’m sorry you lost your sister because of it.”

Caught in those eyes, with those words, Gabrielle felt something shift inside her, altering her vision of the woman in front of her in a strange way.

It didn’t change Lila’s dying. It didn’t make Xena any less responsible – in fact, the queen seemed to be taking that responsibility and putting it squarely on her own shoulders, without any attempt to excuse it.

She thought about that. Maybe that was the difference. There were no excuses. Maybe that made Xena’s regret over it causing Gabrielle pain all the more profound.

It meant she meant something to Xena. Her. Gabrielle. Now the only thing it was left for Gabrielle to decide was – whether that was a good or a very, very bad thing.

She let out the breath she’d been holding. “Thanks.” She whispered. “I’m sorry, too.”

They were both silent for a while. “I’ll do whatever I can to help you.” Gabrielle suddenly spoke up. “The reason Stanislaus tried to get me out.. tonight… is because they started after me downstairs.” She looked at Xena, seeing the watchfulness in her eyes. “I think they wanted me to help them hurt you.”

Xena blinked. “So soon.” She muttered. “Damn.”

“I told them they were stupid.”

Xena looked at her. “I bet they didn’t like that.”

“No, not really.” Gabrielle said. “I think they wanted to kill me.” She frowned. “Seems like a popular idea today.”

“Mm. Well, I’m glad they didn’t.” Xena felt the ache in her back growing again, and remembered how much she hated being injured. “I would have had to kill them if they had and I’m not up to it at the moment.”

Gabrielle looked up at that. She could see the grimace of pain Xena couldn’t quite hide and she put a hand out in reflex, then let it fall.

Xena pursed her lips wryly. “There’s a bottle of wine over on the chest. Get it.”

Gabrielle got to her feet and collected the bottle, and a cup she found next to it, and brought it back over. She poured some of the wine, a rich, red liquid uncomfortably similar to the blood she’d spent candlemarks cleaning into the cup.

Then she looked at Xena. “Um.”

“Yeah.” Slowly, the queen pushed herself up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. She paused momentarily with her eyes closed, her face a study in stoic concentration. Then she straightened and opened her eyes. “Put that down. Get the other glass.”

Gabrielle did as she was ordered, and returned with the second glass. Xena picked up the bottle with her left hand and poured some wine into it. The bottle trembled in her grip, and she bit off a curse as she put it back down. She lifted the glass Gabrielle had poured and looked at the girl. “Welcome to Hades, Gabrielle.” She leaned forward and touched her cup to the one Gabrielle was holding. “Stick with me, and I’ll try to keep you from being fed to Cerebus too quickly.”  She took a sip of the wine, and raised her eyebrows, waiting.

Slowly, Gabrielle brought the cup to her lips and sipped it, flinching at little at the strange taste. After a moment, she swallowed, finding it not as bad as she at first thought.  It was heady and potent, and caused a definite jolt in her guts.  She licked her lips thoughtfully.

A little like Xena herself, as a matter of fact.

Gabrielle studied her cup, and wondered if she really knew what she’d just gotten herself into.

**

Xena seated herself carefully in her chair in the outer, public chamber. She had on a loose, flowing gown, of a light fabric but even the weight of it on her back was almost intolerable.  The wine had allowed her sleep the night before, but waking in the morning had been painful, and though Gabrielle had done the best she’d been capable of, the bandage changing had almost broken even Xena’s stoic resolve.

Poor kid. Xena spared a glance towards the inner door, where Gabrielle was going about her usual cleaning tasks.

One change, though – Xena had ordered her to stay out of the kitchens. She’d given direction to the servant who brought in her morning tray to double the contents, and told Gabrielle it would stay that way until she figured out what the Hades was going on and who exactly she could… well, not trust.

Somehow, Xena didn’t think Gabrielle minded too much.  In fact, the girl had seemed damned relieved about it and she made a mental note to find out what had really happened down stairs.

Now. On to other, less enjoyable matters. Like sitting. Xena took a deep breath, and closed her eyes, focusing her will inward and forcing the pain out of her conscious mind. After a moment, she lifted her head and let her eyes open.

Then she picked up a small bell and rang it.

Almost at once, the door opened, and Stanislaus entered.  “Mistress.”  He ducked his head, but she saw the quick study of her in his eyes as he did it.

“Stanislaus.” Xena rested her hands on the arms of her chair. “I want an explanation from you.”

He stiffened.

“I want to know why you attempted to take my chamber slave away from me.” Xena went on. “Especially since you know how pleased I am with her.”

“Mistress.”

“Talk, or die.” Xena lifted a hand to her chin, a dagger materializing in her fingers as she gently stroked her chin with its hilt.  She saw the utter shock in his eyes, watched the solid knowledge of his place with her crumble into ash.  Dispassionately, she held his gaze. “I’m waiting.”

He was shaking, Xena observed. He walked towards her and dropped to his knees at her feet, bowing his head. “I saw danger to you, Mistress.”

“Really.” Xena remarked.

He lifted his head slightly. “I saw her as a weakness… a way for your enemies to get to you.”  He said. “The others knew how to twist her.”

Possibly true. Xena acknowledged. “They only thought they did.” She said. “Just like you only thought you knew the depths of her.”

Stanislaus looked up. “Mistress, she is a danger to you.” He stated softly, persuasively.

Xena smiled to herself, eyeing her dagger hilt. “Oh yes, Stanislaus. She is.” The queen murmured. “But not the way you’re thinking.” She finished, in a sharp voice. “Leave her alone. If you or anyone else meddles with her again, I will slit your throat and not even feel it.”

He swallowed. “Mistress.”

Xena leaned forward, pushing the jolt of pain in her back out of her mind. “Tell everyone, Stanislaus.” She rasped. “She’s mine.”

The seneschal’s shoulders dropped a little. “Yes, Mistress.” He nodded submissively.

Xena got up and walked around him, then she grabbed his hair and yanked him upright to his feet. Only her iron control kept her standing herself, as a white hot blast of pain nearly took her to her knees. She sucked in a breath. “Don’t you ever do that again.” She snarled in his ear. “Don’t you ever go behind my back even if you think you’re doing the right thing. Understand!!!!”

He nodded, once.

“You almost died last night.” Xena told him. “Did you know that?”

Stanislaus looked at her in patent fear. “M… mistress?”

“They were waiting for you outside, Stanislaus. For you, and for little Gabrielle, and for whoever else you coerced into your plan. Bowmen.”

He actually stopped breathing. His eyes widened fully and he stared at her in shock.

Xena shoved him from her, only just keeping her own balance. “Better figure out again who your friends are, hm?” Her voice turned mocking. “Cause I think you guessed wrong at least once.”

He tugged at his sleeves, a look of confusion on his face. “Mistress… I..  I swear it, I only meant to help.”

“Hm.” Xena returned to her chair and settled gratefully in it. “Yes, yourself mostly, but yes, I know that.” She let out a careful breath. “Otherwise you’d be in pieces on the gate.” She said. “Leave me.”

He bowed low. “Mistress.”

She watched him leave, sitting regally erect until the door closed. Then she leaned on one of the chair arms, taking pressure off her back as a soft oath was forced from her lips. “Damn it.” She could feel the sweat rolling down the back of her neck and for a moment, the room started to move around her.

She closed her eyes.

Heavy footsteps approached, and she heard a low, vibrant voice outside. Painfully she pulled herself erect again as a somber knock came at the door.  It took a moment, but she managed to control her breathing enough to answer. “Come.”

Bregos entered. He walked with confidence, stopping before her chair and gracefully ducking his head. Today he was dressed in sober court garb, a nicely fitted tunic and tight leggings that outlined his excellent physique. “Your Majesty.” He greeted her.

“Bregos.” Xena could hear the strain in her voice.

“I would speak with you on the matter of my captain.”

“Your late captain.” Xena said.

Bregos hesitated, his eyes watching her closely. “Just so.” He pursed his lips. “An unfortunate accident.”

“No.” Xena almost felt amused. “Bregos, as my general, surely you realize it isn’t possible to accidentally slit a man’s throat.” She said. “The bastard broke my rule, and he paid for it. Anyone else wanting to try that… well.. I’ve got a lot of farmers asking for fertilizer.”

Bregos paced to the window and looked out. Xena casually leaned on the arm of her chair, as though turning to watch him.

“Mistress, it wasn’t as it seemed.”

“Bregos, cut the crap.” Xena sighed. “What part of a raped female body do you think I’m not familiar with? The bastard could have least used his own member, not whatever it was he used to carve a furrow in the woman the size of an ox’s leg.”

The general sighed. “Mistress, it was just a slave.”

“It was my slave.” Xena told him. “My property, who had tasks, who had a purpose of mine own choosing that didn’t include being a sex toy for bored soldiers.”

“His life.. “ Bregos turned, squaring his shoulders. “Was worth more than hers, Majesty. It’s a crime against the people to waste the life of one of its soldiers so.”

“It was a crime against me to break my rule.” Xena replied. “And his life wasn’t worth more than the girls to me.”

“The men don’t understand that.”

“Then explain it to them in smaller words.” Xena felt her patience, never really that generous, slipping. “What part of ‘you may not rape castle servants’ are they having difficulty with? If they’re that much in need, tell them to mount each other.”

He faced her. “Majesty, the men do not accept that.”

Xena tilted her head to one side and regarded him. “Are you saying you agree with them, Bregos?”

“I value my men.”

“Well.” Xena slowly crossed her ankles, tucking them under her seat. “Then I’ll have to remove you.”

His eyes flickered. “Majesty?” His voice sounded incredulous.

Xena folded her hands across her stomach. “My rules don’t change. Either you abide by them, and support me, or you will no longer be in my service.”

“You can’t…”

Xena laughed. “Of course I can.” Then her voice sobered. “And I will.” She leaned forward. “Bregos, is your position worth it?”

He nibbled the inside of his lip, an oddly boyish maneuver for a man his size. “Your majesty.. will you not see reason?”

“Not in this room anywhere.” Xena gazed steadily at him. “Pick your course of action wisely, general.”

With a faint shake of his head, Bregos gave her a sketchy bow , then he made his way to the door and left, without a backwards glance.

Xena let her eyelids flutter closed, and she felt the room recede a little, the outdoor sounds buzzing in her ears with an annoying echo.

A soft throat clearing almost made her jump. She opened her eyes and turned her head, to see Gabrielle standing just inside the inner door, with a jug and a cup in her hands.

“Thought maybe you’d like a drink.” Gabrielle hefted the jug. “And.. um.. “ Her eyes flicked to Xena’s back. “You’re bleeding.”

“Ah.” Xena winced. “Thought that was too warm for sweat.”  She looked at the jug. “What is that?”

“Chilled wine.”

Xena managed a brief smile. “Gabrielle, you’re worth your weight in gold leaf.” She nodded. “Gimme. I’ll get some of that down, then you can put another layer of bandage over that hole in my back.”

Gabrielle poured her a cup and handed it over, then set the jug down. “Is what the general said true?”

“Which part?” Xena gratefully swallowed a few mouthfuls of the cold wine.

“About the men being worth more than slaves?”

Xena swirled the wine in her cup. “If you look at it a certain way, sure.” She nodded. “A fighting soldier, risking his life for the land – he’s trained, he’s skilled… he could be considered more valuable.”  She watched Gabrielle’s expressive face shift as she thought, a furrow appearing on her brow. “But it had nothing to do with that for me. He broke a rule, and Bregos knows it. What he’s trying to get around is that he, and those with him, don’t like that rule.”

“Hm.” Gabrielle pondered that. She looked up at Xena. “I think he’ll break it again, just to see how far he can push things.”

A wan twinkle appeared in Xena’s eyes. “I think you’re right.”

Gabrielle’s lips moved into a slight smile, then relaxed. “You told Stanislaus I was a danger to you.” She asked softly. “What did you mean by that? Didn’t you believe what I said?”

Xena leaned her chin on her fist, with a very wry look. “I did.” She said. “But I knew he wouldn’t understand what I meant, and neither would you.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t worry about it, Gabrielle.” Xena drained her cup and painfully eased out of her chair. “Because I’m not worried about it.”  Slowly she limped towards the bedroom. “In fact, right now it’s the least of my worries.”

With a puzzled frown, Gabrielle picked up the jug and followed her. “Okay.” She sighed. “If you say so.”

“Oo.” Xena drawled. “Someone who actually does what I say. Be still my beating heart.” She lowered herself to the bed on her stomach, and exhaled, waiting for Gabrielle’s gentle touch.

Wanting it.

An ironic smile shaped her lips.

**

Gabrielle dropped into her cot, stretching her legs out and relaxing with a sigh. She’d gotten the queen’s chambers cleaned, and Xena had gone off to her afternoon court.

She wondered how good an idea that really was. It was obvious to her that Xena was really hurting, and even though she’d rested after Bregos’ visit, it had been difficult for her to get up and leave.

Gabrielle plucked at her blood stained apron and admitted to being worried about the woman. She was at a loss to explain to herself why, but she felt how she felt and there was no denying it. “Self interest.” She spoke aloud. “I know if something happens to her, I’m toast.”

She drummed her fingers on the edge of the cot and regarded the ceiling. Then she sighed. “Yeah, right.”

“Psst.”

Gabrielle’s heart almost stopped. She gripped the edge of the bed and leaned forward, only to see Toris’ head slowly emerge around the corner of her cubby. “Oh, it’s you.”

“Shh.” Toris slipped inside and padded over to her, dropping to a crouch next to her cot. “Wow. Are you okay?” His eyes were on her apron.

“Yeah.”  Gabrielle studied his face.

“I heard what happened.” Toris gave her a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry.”

A tiny crease dimpled the skin on Gabrielle’s forehead.

“See? You should have stayed downstairs. I know that guy was scary, but we’d have kept you away from her.” Toris told her. “He didn’t really mean it… he was just afraid.”

“He said he’d kill me.” Gabrielle said, slowly.

“No.. no.” Toris laid a hand on her knee. “Gabrielle, we need you.” He looked earnestly at her. “We need you to help us. Now that you see what she’s really like, you will, won’t you?”

“What she’s really like?”

“What she did to you, Gabrielle. It’s no different than what that soldier did in the barracks and she killed him for it. But it’s okay for her to do. Is that fair? Now you see why everyone’s against her!”

Gabrielle stared off into the distance for a moment, then looked at him. “What is it you want me to do?”

A smile spread across Toris’ face. “I knew you’d join us.” He exhaled in relief. “Come downstairs, tonight, and we’ll show you.” He said. “And we’ll do it fast, so you don’t have to suffer with her anymore.” He shook his head. “That bitch. How could she do that after what she did to your sister.. in front of you!!!!”

Gabrielle felt a lump rise in her throat. She dropped her eyes to the ground.

“I’m sorry.” Toris gentled his voice. “Listen, come tonight, and I promise you… it’ll be the last night you ever have to worry about her.”

“Okay.” Gabrielle kept her head down. “I’ll be there.”

He squeezed her shoulder. “Good.”  He said. He lifted a hand and touched her cheek gently. “It’ll be all right, Gabrielle.”  He promised her, then he stood up and slipped out of the cubby.

Gabrielle rested her elbows on her knees and leaned her chin against her folded hands.

**

Xena walked slowly along the arbor, pausing frequently to gaze out over the wall. To all who were watching, it seemed she was just indulging in a familiar habit, inspecting the different areas of the stronghold in a casual way.

In truth every step was agony.  Xena rested her hands on the stone wall and watched a sparring session in progress. Several of her men were clustered on one end of the practice field, and after a moment they spotted her standing there.

Xena held her breath, reading them. Then she relaxed, as they started sidling in her direction. Brendan came out of the barracks and spotted her as well, angling his steps towards her outright.

“Mistress.” Brendan got there first, putting his hands on the wall and leaping over it. “A word with ye.”

Xena leaned a little more on the wall, half turning to face him. “Go on.”

He hesitated, then knelt.

Maybe it was the pain. Xena felt the faintest tightness in her throat.

“Mistress, it was like this.” Brendan said. “We knew they was doing a bad thing. But..” He paused. “They hit us low, like. They told us..”

“They told you if you told me, you were a bunch of sissies?” Xena guessed.

He peeked up at her.

Xena half smiled. “And that this was how real armies worked?”

Brendan sighed.

“You know better.” Xena remarked.

“Aye.” The old soldier agreed. “But Mistress.. it weren’t the men’s fault.”

“No?”

He looked up. “It were my fault. I know better more than most. I should ha come to you.”  Slowly he drew his dagger, and offered it to her, hilt first. “I failed ye.”

Xena took the dagger and examined it. She was aware, from her peripheral vision, that her men and some of Bregos were watching the scene.  Brendan was right, of course, and she knew it. She understood the pride that had prevented him from doing what he knew she wanted, but that didn’t change the fact that his inaction had caused the situation to continue.

For that, she’d established, the penalty was death and he knew it.  That was her law.

Xena reached out and tangled the fingers of her free hand in his gray hair, tightening her grip and pulling his head back. He gazed up at her in quiet acceptance, a gentle trust shining from his eyes.

She braced herself, then swiped with the dagger in her other hand, cutting through the hair with an audible hiss.

Then she lifted her hand, and examined her handiwork. “That should be enough.”  She handed him the handful of hair, which left the top of his head bizarrely shorn. “Your pride got you into this, you’ll have to suffer looking like that till it grows out.”  Then she reversed the dagger and handed it back.

He swallowed and took it. “Mistress.”

“Sorry. I know you were looking forward to it, but I’m just not in the mood to kill anyone today.” Xena ruffled the stubble on his head. “G’wan.”  She leaned again on the wall as he stood. “We have to be ready for tomorrow, Brendan.” She said quietly. “He’s going for it.”

“Aye.” The old soldier nodded. “We will be.” He quietly met her eyes. “Thank you, Xena.”

That got a real smile from her, despite the pain. She motioned him away and continued on her walk, cocking her ears behind her to catch the low, eager whispers.  Better. Xena nodded to herself, trying to decide if she should ignore the growing throbbing in her back.

Probably a stupid idea. She examined her options, and selected a path that would result in her ending up near the small door to the tower stairs.

It was time to see what Gabrielle was up to, anyway.

**

“It’s really red.” Gabrielle murmured.

“I bet it is.” Xena muttered back. “Feels like it.”

Gabrielle gazed unhappily at the wound, wondering if it was something she’d done wrong. The area where the arrow had gone in was swollen, and felt hot under her touch.

“Damn.”  Xena rested her chin on her wrist. “All right. Get the knife you were using last night.”

Reluctantly, Gabrielle stood and walked to the chest, opening the drawer and pulling the sharp dagger out. She returned to the bed and knelt again at Xena’s side. “Okay.”

Xena wadded up a fold of the bedding and closed her hand around it. “There’s a dark line where the arrow went in, right?”

“Yes.”

“Cut into it.”

Gabrielle hesitated. “What?” She asked. “Are you sure? That will open it all up again.”

One of Xena’s eyebrows cocked at her. “You a healer now?”  She asked. “Just do what I tell you, okay?”

Abashed, Gabrielle wiped the blade carefully and poised it, then bit the inside of her lip and pressed downward on the dark line. The blade popped through Xena’s skin with an almost audible sound, and as she cut, a flow of pale red mixed with ugly yellow poured out of the wound.  “Oh.”

She finished, and pulled back, then glanced at Xena. The queen was lying perfectly still, only the stark whiteness of the knuckles wrapped around the bedding indicating what she was going through. “It’s done.” Gabrielle put a hand on Xena’s arm.

Slowly, the blue eyes fluttered open. “Wash it out good.” Xena spoke in a husky, almost remote tone.

Gabrielle complied, soaking the piece of linen she’d been using to wash the wound and squeezing it out over Xena’s back. She repeated the process over and over, until the wound ran clear, and she could see it was much less swollen. “That looks better.”

“Really.” Xena muttered. She gave Gabrielle a look.

“Sorry.” The blond girl apologized. “I just ask questions because I don’t understand and I want to.”

“Uh huh.” Xena closed her eyes. “Put a lot of that powder in there before you put the bandage on. Maybe I’ll get lucky and you won’t have to do this again.”  She slowly uncurled her hand, which was cramping painfully from gripping the linens. Damn, that had hurt.

Gabrielle gently dried the area, then she took the powdered herbs and covered the wound with them, making sure she got them into the newly cut area. Then she replaced the bandage with a clean one and retied the ends of the cloth around Xena’s body.

“What’s that sound?” Xena suddenly asked, hearing a soft rumble.

Gabrielle’s hands stopped in mid motion. “Um.” She glanced down at herself in mild embarrassment. “Sorry.. I guess that’s me.” She explained. “Hungry, I guess.”

Xena glanced at the window, seeing the fading twilight.  “Go outside and tell the guard I’ll be eating in my chambers tonight. No court.” She said. “With this thing, in my mood, I’m liable to use the shiskebabs to nail courtiers I’m annoyed at to their chairs anyway.”

Gabrielle remembered her promise to Toris. “I could go get the tray, if you want.”

“No.” Xena shook her head. “Just tell the guard. He knows what to do.” She said. “Tell him to send up a double tray… otherwise I’ll be up all night with all that noise.”

In the act of standing, Gabrielle paused, and looked at Xena uncertainly.  Was she being teased?

A blue eye regarded her soberly.

Gabrielle picked up the basin, and headed for the door. Toris, she decided, would just have to wait for another night.

**

“Thanks.” Gabrielle murmured, as the guard carefully deposited the tray in the outer chamber. “Wow, that’s a lot.”

The guard, an older man with a thin scar crossing his face from eye to jawline, smiled briefly. “Her maj asked for a double, didn’t she?”

“Well, yes.”

“S’what you got.” The guard dusted his hands off and slipped out of the room, leaving Gabrielle to deal with the assorted dishes.

“Mm.” She sniffed appreciatively. “I don’t I can leave any of this behind.” She took hold of the handles, and managed to lift the tray. “Boah!” A grunt forced it’s way out. “Let’s hope I don’t end up tossing it across the room.”

Carefully, she maneuvered through the outer chamber, and was glad of the fact that she’d left the inner door a little open. She nudged it with her foot, then ducked inside the inner chamber and somehow made it to the worktable without spilling anything.

“Ah.” Xena turned her head as the girl set the tray down. Gabrielle was outlined in candlelight as she stood by the window. What was that term she’d heard once? Easy on the eyes.  She’d never really figured out what that meant, but now she suspected it meant that you could look at someone a lot and not get tired of it. “Is that lamb I smell?”

“Chops.” Gabrielle confirmed.

“Bother you?” Xena asked.

The blond girl looked up from her task. “Bother me what?”

“Eating lamb chops. You being brought up a shepherd.”

“Um.. no.” Gabrielle brought a plate over to her, and set it gingerly down on the bedside table. “Lambs look really cute, but they’re not.” She explained. “They bite you every chance they get. So I never minded eating them, though we usually didn’t, unless… um..”

“One croaked.” Xena eased over onto her side and examined the plate with little interest. “Yeah.” She picked up a chop by the bone and bit into it, chewing stolidly. “Are you joining me or are you just going to sit there?”

Gabrielle hesitated. “I wasn’t sure w… “ She frowned.

“Gabrielle, there is no protocol for how to eat with the queen while she’s lying in bed and you’re sitting on the floor next to her so forget it and just get some damn chops.” Xena told her testily.

The blond girl rose without a sound and walked to the tray.

Xena nibbled on her lambchop as she watched Gabrielle take dinner for herself.  “I don’t have much of an appetite, so you’d better make up for it.” She told her. “Otherwise talk’ll start downstairs.”

Gabrielle paused, and peeked over her shoulder.

Xena merely lifted her eyebrows.

“Okay.” Gabrielle returned and settled back down on the floor cross legged, balancing a full plate on her lap. She fiddled with a long, blanched bean for a moment, finally picking it up and biting into it. “You have really good cooks.”

“Have to be.” Xena neatly removed the last shreds of meat from one chop, placed it back on the plate, and selected another. “First thing an army starts to bitch about is the food. Doesn’t pay to start trouble.”

“Is that why you give the slaves the same food?”

“Uh huh.” Xena watched her. “It’s a bitch of a life, and damned uncomfortable, but not by much over what it was for them before.”

“But you’re not free.” Gabrielle gazed earnestly at her.

Xena’s lips twitched wryly. “No one is.” She said. “Think about it. Is Bregos? Are those damn fawning nobles? Is the army? No one is, Gabrielle. Everybody is enslaved by something at some point.”

Gabrielle had never thought about it that way. She pondered a moment, then looked up.“Even you?”

The blue eyes widened, and sharpened a touch. “Me?”

Gabrielle nodded. “You said everybody… does that include you?” She nibbled at a bone.

Xena took the time to examine the question, glad at least that the discussion was taking her mind off the pain in her back.  It had been a very long time since she’d had anyone to just sit around and talk to, who wasn’t constantly on their guard and wary of every word.

It felt insanely good, and she really had no idea why.  Maybe it was just boredom.

“I’m the only one who controls me.” Xena finally said. “And I like it that way.”

Gabrielle chewed her lamb slowly, thinking in her own turn. “I think I’ve had to make more of my own choices since I’ve been here than I have in my whole life before.” She said, a soft note of surprise in her voice. “Weird.”

“So.. are you freer now, as a slave, than you were as a free peasant?”

Gabrielle put her bone down and frowned. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“No.” Xena took a breath, as a sharp stab of pain jolted her. “But it’s true, and you know it.” She pushed her plate away a little. “What’s in that jug?”

Seeing the tense lines of pain on Xena’s face, Gabrielle set her plate down and scrambled to her feet, going over to the table. She sniffed the contents. “Mead.”

“Ahh.” Xena could already taste the honey. “Bring it over.”

Gabrielle filled a big cup and brought it to her, blinking a little at the strong, spicy scent of the drink. “Wow.”

Xena took a sip, rolling it around in her mouth before she swallowed. “Nice.” She murmured. “First batch of the year.. didn’t think it was ready yet.”  She glanced at Gabrielle, who had settled back down to the carpet and picked her plate back up. “Here. Try it.”  She extended the cup.

Gabrielle slowly lifted her hand and took the cup, putting her lips to it and warily taking a sip. She handed the cup back and swallowed, her brow furrowing.  It was sweet, and potent, and stung her mouth a little. Even after she swallowed, the taste remained, filling her nose with it’s richness. “Mm.”

Xena swirled the cup gently and took another sip. “Like it?”

She wasn’t really sure. “I think so.” Gabrielle admitted. “The only thing we had at… home… was beer.” She wrinkled her nose. “Not very good beer.”

“In that case, take some, but not a lot.” Xena warned her.

Gabrielle got up and retrieved the jug, pouring a small amount into the second cup on the tray. She brought the jug and put it on the table and sat down.  Surveying her plate of grilled chops and beans, and her cup, she reflected that the meal was probably the finest she’d ever had. Thoughtfully, she sipped her mead, musing quietly about her fellow slaves down in the workroom.

“So.” Xena’s voice broke her thoughts and made her look up.  “What did you do for fun, back on the farm?”

Gabrielle took another bite of lamb, finally feeling her grumbling stomach subside. “Sometimes we’d play ball.. or rope jump.” She said. “Or if it was bad weather, word games.”

Word games. Xena detected a possible diversion to keep her mind off her back. “What kind of word games?” She asked.

“Um…” Gabrielle licked her fingers. “Guessing things, mostly.” She felt a little foolish. “One person would think of something, like.. an animal or a plant. Then everyone else would try to guess what it was by asking questions.”

“Mmm.” Xena set her cup on the table. “Tell you what.” She could feel the throbbing starting again and inwardly cursed herself, the archers, fate, and the bit of bad luck that had caused three men to make up the ambush instead of two.  “Change this damn bandage, then we’ll play your game.”

Gabrielle was caught by surprise. Xena wanted to play her child’s game? Slightly bewildered, she got up and took Xena’s plate away, putting hers aside to finish later.  She went and got the basin and rags, going to the water cisturn and filling the bowl with fresh, clean water.  She brought the basin back over and put it down, kneeling next to the bed.

Xena had already eased over onto her stomach, and Gabrielle could see a stain of blood and pus on the back of her gown. She made a small sound of dismay, easing the cloth away from the wound carefully as she pulled the shoulder of the gown down and exposed Xena’s back.

Her skin, outside the area that was damaged, was smooth and soft. Gabrielle rinsed her cloth out and cleaned the area, which though swollen, didn’t appear as angrily red as before. “It looks a little better.” She told Xena, who had her chin resting on her wrist.

“Feels worse.” Xena muttered. “Damn it.” Her eyes narrowed. “If I catch the little bastard who hit me I’m going to pull his testicles off slowly before I gut him.”

Gabrielle wisely didn’t reply to that. She continued her work, resting one hand on Xena’s shoulder as she concentrated on removing the dried blood and yellow stains.

It occurred to her suddenly just how close she was to Xena.

Now that she’d cleaned off all the blood, it also occurred to her that the queen’s skin had a pleasant, faintly spicy scent to it.

“Gabrielle?”

She almost jumped. “Yes?”

“In the chest over there, on the bottom, there’s a box. Bring it.”

“Do you want me to finish this first?”

“No.” Xena exhaled. “Those herbs aren’t working. I want to try something else.”

Gabrielle gave the wound one last dab. “Okay.” She put the rag in the basin and got up, wiping her hands on her apron as she crossed to the heavy, brass bound chest resting inconspicuously against the wall. She undid the catch and opened the lid, and at once an odd barrage of scents invaded her lungs.

There were furs, inside, on the top. She gently drew them aside to reveal leather and brass armor, well oiled and neatly folded. Resting on top of them was a worn, thin leather bag roughly the size of her head. Gabrielle touched it as she leaned over the chest, her fingers detecting a hard, circular object inside. “Does the box have brown squares on top?”

“That’s it.”

Gabrielle carefully removed it. The box was wood, and as she looked closer, she realized it was made from different colors of wood cleverly interlaced with each other. It was stunning– a piece of craftsmanship that even her inexperienced eyes recognized. “Wow. This is amazing.”  She carried it over to where Xena was lying. “It’s so beautiful.”

Xena glanced at the box held reverently in Gabrielle’s hands. A curious expression appeared on her face. “Thanks.”  She murmured. “I made it.” She added. “A long time ago.”

Gabrielle carefully put it down, and undid the brass catch, then opened the box. The top rose silently on pegged hinges and revealed folded pieces of parchment, each with a faded scrawl on the top. “Which one?”

“Let me see.” Xena fingered several packets, then selected one. She brought it close to her nose and sniffed, grimacing at the sharp scent. “Yeah, that’s the one.”  She handed it to Gabrielle. “Sprinkle it on, just a pinch.”  She put her head back down as Gabrielle opened the parchment, which crackled with age. Memories of the time when she’d assembled those packets assailed her, and she let herself get lost in them for just a short while.

Gabrielle carefully took up a tiny amount of the crushed, dried herb, bending close as she dusted it onto the wound. To her surprise, the herb seemed to dissolve, and a whiteish foam appeared, quickly bubbling away to nothing.  She looked at Xena’s face, which had an odd, dreamy expression on it. “Okay.. is that it?”

Slowly, the pale blue eyes lifted and tracked to hers. “Did it hiss?”

Gabrielle nodded, making a tiny face.

“Good.” Xena exhaled. “Damn stuff kept it’s effect. Lucky me. Okay, just leave it now.”

“Without a bandage?”

“Yes.” The queen shifted a little. “If you keep it closed, sometimes it gets worse.”

Gabrielle filed that away for future use. She put the packet back into the beautiful box and closed the lid. She walked over to the chest and put the box back, gently covering the contents with the fur again before she closed the lid. Along with the box, though, she could sense history in that chest, and the care with which the contents were put in there made her understand that these were parts of Xena that mattered very much to her.

More mysteries.

Gabrielle went back to the bed side, stopping when she found one of the queen’s pillows on the floor where she’d previously been kneeling. She bent to pick it up, but  found her wrist gripped in Xena’s hand. “Uh..”

“Leave it. Sit on it.” Xena pointed at the pillow. “Might as well make yourself comfortable.”

Gabrielle blinked at the soft, plump, richly silken item. “You want me to sit on your pillow?”

For some reason, Xena found that funny. Her shoulders shook slightly as she laughed in silence. Then she sighed. “Sit.” She ordered, pointing at the pillow. “Time for your game. You go first.”

More than a little rattled, Gabrielle obeyed, seating herself on the pillow facing the queen. Now at eye level with her, she could see the tiny glints of humor in the back of Xena’s eyes, and allowed herself to relax. “Okay.”  She pursed her lips and thought for a minute. “I picked something.”

“All right.” Xena stretched her body out a little, forcing the discomfort from her conscious thoughts. “It better be something good.”

“I think it is.”

“It better not be sheep.” Xena warned her, surprising a tentative grin out of the girl.

“It’s not.” Gabrielle answered. “I knew it would have to be something really good to keep you guessing for more than a bit.”

“Oh, really?” A dark eyebrow twitched. “And why is that?”

Another grin appeared, this one more relaxed. “Because you’re really smart.”

Their eyes met, and held. The silence lengthened, until Xena broke it with a sigh. “Not nearly smart enough to avoid being shot in the back with an arrow, Gabrielle.” She said. “Animal?”  She moved incautiously, and her breathing caught.

Gabrielle reached up instinctively and took hold of Xena’s hand, which was resting near the edge of the mattress. Their fingers tightened together and held, until Xena’s body finally relaxed as the pain faded. “You know… when I was listening to those men downstairs talk about how great going to war was… they don’t mention this stuff.”

Xena’s eyes opened wearily, and regarded her. “No.” She said. “If they did, no one’d want to fight, would they? If they knew they’d spend days… weeks… hurting if they didn’t die outright?”

“Mm.” Gabrielle shook her head a little. “Maybe it would be better if they did know. Less people would fight.. and die.” She looked at Xena. “That can’t be the best way.”

Xena looked at their still linked hands, then at Gabrielle. “Humans kill by their nature, Gabrielle. You can’t change that.” But her voice was gentle. “It’s a nice thought, though.” She cleared her throat a little. “Animal?”

Gabrielle realized her hand wasn’t going to be released. “Um.. no.” She said. “It’s not.”

“Vegetable?”

“No.”

“Mineral?”

“No.”

“Gabrielle, it has to be one of them.”

“I’m sorry, it’s really not.”

A sigh. “Alive or dead.”

“Alive.”

“Now we’re getting somewhere. Got a brain?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Oh, that narrows it down. Bregos?”

In another sudden reflex, Gabrielle found herself chuckling.

It felt so incredibly strange.

**

Shadows of the Soul

Part 5

So, Xena. When was the last time you woke up with someone sleeping on your floor, that you hadn't thrown there? Xena amused herself with the thought, as the early light of dawn entered her windows. And left alive?

Gabrielle was curled up asleep on the rug, her pale head resting on the silk pillow Xena had given her, and a robe of Xena's covered her against the chill.

Xena studied the girl for several minutes, trying to figure out what it was that so fascinated her about the kid. She was cute. She was spunky, and she had the appeal of a newborn puppy. All right One of the floppy eared ones, too.

"But I don't like puppies." Xena muttered. "Except for lunch." With a sigh, she put her head back down and continued her studying. Gabrielle was small, and slight, but to Xena's warrior's eyes there was a potential for strength there, and her body was well formed for its size.

Xena looked again. Her body was well formed regardless of the size. She had straight, even shoulders and a tapered torso, a slim waist and narrow, but well shaped hips. Her limbs were, of course, shorter than Xena’s were, but in proportion to her body and had enough muscle on them to be more than functional.

Hmph.  So she was cute.

Okay. Xena nodded slightly. You want to take her to bed. So why don't you? Because you told her you don't rape slaves?

Xena studied the slightly rounded jawline. Because she trusts you?

A wry chuckle. No, because she's a clueless little virgin who would be about as much fun as rolling in the hay with a fencing dummy. Ah, Gabrielle. Xena cautiously rolled over and grimaced as her injury protested. Anger at that, and at herself surfaced, and she growled a little.

Enough to wake the kid up, apparently. Xena glanced over her shoulder to see a tousled blond head pop up in mild alarm. "Relax."

Gabrielle rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. "Sorry, I.. um...thought I heard something." Her voice was husky, and she cleared her throat a little. “A noise.”

"You did." Xena slowly sat up and leaned her weight on elbows braced on her knees. "You heard an old fighter bitching." She forced herself to stand up, and walk over to the window. The sky overcast, and as she looked out towards the horizon, she could see black clouds bearing down on them.

By the gods. Xena exhaled, shaking her head. It was just what she'd needed - a day's postponement of the challenge. A day more to let her heal, let her be in some condition to face Brego's plot. It was as though the gods themselves were watching over her. "Zeus. I owe you one."

Gabrielle came to stand beside her. "Owe him for what?" She let her hands rest on the window sill next to Xena’s.

"That." Xena pointed to the sky. "We'll have to put off the war games." She told the girl. ""Give me a little more time."

"I don't understand." Gabrielle leaned her weight on her hands and looked out. "I thought the men were fighting each other?"

"They are... but don't you see, Gabrielle? It's not between them...it's between me and Bregos. If he loses, he loses face big time and I can get rid of him without any problems."

"Okay." Gabrielle was still confused. "But..."

Xena’s eyes narrowed, and she chuckled softly. "He can't let his men lose. He'll have to jump in on their side...and then I'll have to jump in on ours, and it'll be me and him." She said. “And then I can take him.”

Gabrielle considered that. "I still don't get it." She confessed. "Why not just have it be you and him to start with?"

Xena sighed. "Because he won't accept a direct challenge from me, Gabrielle. He's supposed to be my vassel. But if it's all part of the games, he can go along with the spirit of it ." She explained. “It’s all in the timing.”

"Oh."  Gabrielle nibbled her lower lip. “Okay.”

Xena eyed her. "Sounds stupid, right?"

"Well..."

"Ah ah.." Xena chucked her under the chin. "No lies, Gabrielle. I have an entire court of liars, and one of you. Don't go changing.”

That got her a shy smile. "It sounds dangerous." Gabrielle said. "For you, with your back and all."

"It is." Xena looked back over the land. "Life's dangerous. You should know that by now." As she watched, rain began to fall, damp and cold and she felt the moisture against the skin of her face. It was raw, and cold, and she welcomed it.

"I guess I do." The girl answered quietly. "But if the rain makes it less dangerous for you, then I'm glad."

The sentiment shocked her, in an odd way. Xena closed her hand on the iron spike next to the window and watched a hawk circle in the sky, ignoring the oncoming rain. "Why is that, Gabrielle?" She turned. "If I die, it might make life a lot better for you." She said. "Why would you care if something happened to me?"

Instead of answering, Gabrielle walked over and picked up the pillow, smoothing it's surface before she set it down on the bed. She folded the robe neatly, and put that down as well, all in a charged silence broken only by thunder. Finally she turned around and faced Xena, a troubled look on her face. "I don't know why." She said. "I just know I do.”

"Oh, you do?"

Gabrielle nodded.

"A slave who cares if I live or die. Will wonders never cease." Xena leaned against the sill. She watched the kid's eyes drop, and an embarrassed flush color her cheeks. "I don't know if I like that idea."

Now confusion and hurt crossed Gabrielle's face. "I'm sorry." She muttered. "I didn't know it was bad to care about someo.. about that."

"Or do you figure I'm your meal ticket?" Xena probed her relentlessly. "That's it. If I kick off, it's back to sleeping on bricks for you."

Gabrielle simply remained silent, a pained expression on her face.

Xena waited, but there was no response forthcoming. "Or maybe I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed today, and I'm being a bitch." She warily tried a bit of humor, sensing her questions weren’t having the effect she’d intended.

Still no response.

Xena frowned, and slowly eased herself upright, crossing over to where the girl was standing. She put a hand on Gabrielle's cheek and tilted her head up, so their eyes met. She was faced with so much confusion and unhappiness she almost slapped the kid. "What's wrong with you?"

Gabrielle took a step backwards, away from her. "I guess I better start working." She turned and circled the bed, picking up the basin and going for the water cistern. She kept her back turned to Xena as she cleaned it out and rinsed the clothes she used to tend Xena's wound.

Frowning, Xena limped up behind her and put a hand on one shoulder. "Gabrielle."

"Yes, your majesty?"

Both of the queen's dark eyebrows shot up. "Hey." She put her other hand on the kid's other shoulder and turned her around forcibly. "I thought I told you not to do that."

Green eyes gazed at her. "That's how a slave is supposed to address you, your majesty." She replied quietly. "I don't want to do anything else inappropriate."

It was ridiculous. Xena stared back at her. The damn kid was mad...mad at HER! Gabrielle was mad that she'd...Xena drew in a breath. That she'd treated her like dirt. Hm. Slaves were dirt, weren't they? So Gabrielle's point was, she guessed, that if that's how she was viewed, that's how she'd act

But that wasn't how Xena viewed her.

"Excuse me, your majesty." Gabrielle slipped out of her grasp and picked up her cleaning bucket, walking across the room and leaving it. Xena was left standing in the center of her own bedroom, dumbfounded.

"Wait a minute." Xena held up her hands. "When did this all go to Hades in a handbasket?" She complained aloud. "Everything was fine last night, wasn't it?"

And then she remembered that moment, when Gabrielle had laughed, and they'd played their word game, and realized she'd made a very bad mistake. She'd allowed Gabrielle to think she'd achieved something she hadn't. Xena inhaled, remembering those warm, green eyes watching her, and the smile their game had brought.

Or had she achieved it? She was forced to realize she had, willing or not, given Gabrielle a small entry into the inner personality she stringently kept hidden from all others. "Hades, Xena. You gave her your own pillow and robe, and now you're telling her she's just a common slut? What's wrong with you? Forget how to lead so soon, since you don't do it anymore?

With a muttered curse, she went to the door and opened it, starting slightly to find Gabrielle there, her arms full of the bucket and water. "Get in here." She gestured inside.

"Yes, ma'am." Gabrielle entered, going to the bathing chamber and setting her tools down.

"Gabrielle." Xena limped over and got hold of her. "Cut that out." She held the girl still. "Look at me."
Slowly, the mist green eyes lifted, and waited, shadowed with a hurt Xena really didn’t comprehend.

"No one cares about me, Gabrielle. I don't know what to do with someone who says they do." Xena told her. "Except wonder why or what they're getting out of it."

A small nod. "I know." Gabrielle admitted. "But I can't help it, I do, and I don't really know why.. maybe you're right. Maybe I'm just in it for me." Her shoulders relaxed, not quite a slump, but almost. "I didn't know how wrong it was to feel like that."

Wrong? Xena sighed. "It's not wrong." She said. "Or at least, it's not wrong for you." She amended. "So cheer up, woudja? You're not just any slave. I don't give just any slave my pillow."

Gabrielle straightened a little.

"And I certainly don't let just any slave hold my life in their hands." Xena went on, in a more serious tone. "So why don't you go grab a tray for breakfast, and then we can get these damn bandages changed. It'll be a long court today."

Looking a touch more cheerful, Gabrielle nodded. "Okay." She said. "I'll be right back."

Xena watched her leave, frowning at the gnawing in the pit of her stomach. The door closed behind the girl with a solid finality that didn't do anything to ease it.

What in Hades was going on with her? She had an army half in revolt, a general fixing to toss her off her throne, and here she was worrying over the hurt feelings of some little slave kid she barely knew.

“I must be losing my mind.” She sighed plaintively, shaking her head. “Maybe I should start playing card games again.”  The idea appealed to her, and a companion one popped up to join it.I could teach the kid how to play. She’s smarter than the last two dukes I tried it with.

Her humor much improved, she headed for her bathing chamber.

**
It was hard to know what to feel. Gabrielle took the steps down to the kitchen two at a time. On one hand, she still felt bad about what Xena had said to her, but on the other hand, knowing why she said it was interesting and in a way, sort of sad.

No one cares about me. Gabrielle felt a pang in her chest as she recalled the words. Xena hadn’t seemed bothered by that, but what a horrible thing to think - that not one person in the whole world cared about you, and to think that someone saying they did just wanted something from you.

Was it true? She looked inside herself intently. Did she just want something from Xena… was she just kissing up to her like the apprentices in Potadeia did to their masters? Just to keep a comfortable spot for herself?

Well, maybe she was. Gabrielle felt herself frowning. Maybe she was just doing it out of self interest.

She thought hard about that as she maneuvered down the last set of steps. Somehow, it really didn’t feel like she was. Despite all the reasons she knew there were for her to be weaseling up to Xena, at the very root of her heart, she knew she’d said what she’d said because it was what she truly believed.

She did care. Right or wrong, smart or incredibly dumb, there was a part of her that didn’t want to see Xena get hurt just because… well, she wasn’t really sure why not, but maybe it had to do with her not wanting to see anyone get hurt.

But that wasn’t all.  Gabrielle adjusted her shirt with nervous hands, knowing there was another truth under all that. There was something else stirring inside her that was strange and very new.  Something that put butterflies in the pit of her stomach at the merest sound of Xena’s voice.  Something that made her heart beat faster when she was close to Xena.

Something that hurt inside her when Xena brushed off her words.

With a sigh, Gabrielle put the thought aside as she reached the bottom of the stairs. She would have time later to think about it. First things first, and breakfast was waiting. Her stomach growled at the very thought.

As she entered the kitchen, though, she didn't have any time to think of anything as rough hands grabbed her and yanked her down. "Hey!" Gabrielle yelled in pure reflex.

"Shut up, you little traitor bitch!" An angry voice answered, before she was lifted bodily and carried off.

****

Xena leaned on the dresser, her fingers idly playing with one of the cloths. Her insides were still in turmoil, however, and she started tying little knots in the fabric.

A knock came at her inner door and she frowned.  "This better either be Gabrielle or something equally good." Painfully, she made her way to the door and opened it, to find Alaran there. “What?”

“Mistress.”  Alaran appeared worried. “May I speak with you, please?”

Reluctantly, Xena stepped back and opened the door. “It’s early and I’m not in a good mood. Make it quick.”

Her security chief entered and put his hands on his hips. “Your majesty, my pardon. But what the Hades are you doing?”

Xena’s eyebrow lifted sharply. “What?”

“I’ve been spending the last day listening to my spies tell me of stories running rampant through the stronghold of you. Of you killing a soldier, and then taking a slave to do what you killed him for. Is this true?”

Alaran was, of all her subjects, the only one who would dare, and who Xena would tolerate speaking to her in that way. His responsibility was her security, and she’d given him permission long ago to challenge anything he thought impacted that.

However. With a smooth motion, Xena caught him round the throat with her hand and shoved him against the wall, catching him by surprise and pinning him. There was questioning, and there was questioning. “And if I am?” Xena growled, tightening her grip.

Alaran gasped, truly startled.

Xena released him. “What I do in my private chambers is not the business of the populace, the army, or you.”

He straightened and twitched his tunic back into order. “My deepest pardon, Mistress. I meant no disrespect.” He spoke softly. “It’s just that it has caused great resentment in the lines, and I am worried. very worried that Brego’s inroads into their confidence will be aided by it.”  He explained. “It’s a hard thing to counter.”

Yeah. Xena sighed, and walked over to the window again, staring obsessively out it’s paned confines. She hated this place sometimes. There were moments she wished she were a wild living feral warlord again, taking her troops from one bivouac to another, free to change her plans at a moment’s whim.

This was definitely one of those moments. Damned if she wasn’t sick and tired of court intrigue today.

“They say you’ve turned against the men.” Alaran lowered his voice.

“I haven’t turned against anyone.” Xena said sharply.

“Mistress, I know of your rule, but if you…”

Xena turned and faced him. “I haven’t broken any of my own rules, Alaran.” She told him. “I needed a reason to have Gabrielle attend me closely, and if that fell out as it did, then so be it. Can’t be helped.”

Alaran looked confused. “Mistress, I don’t understand.”

And he should, Xena conceded. He should have been told when it happened.  He was her chief of security, and one of the extremely few people she knew she could halfway trust. He’d earned it.  “I know you don’t.” She sighed.

“Mistress, if you wish to take a bedmate, as you say it’s none of my affair, but..”

Xena turned. “I didn’t.” She cut him off.

“Mistress?”

It was, in a rather twisted way, deliciously ironic. Xena had in her younger, wilder years maintained a very carefully cultivated reputation for bedsports that was still whispered about even to this very day. The assumption about Gabrielle was, of course, the proof of that.  “I haven’t taken her to bed.”

Alaran blinked at her, caught as he rarely was, flatfooted. “No? Majesty?”  He looked around, clearly at a loss. “But…”

Xena had found, lately, that in times of great stress her sense of humor tended to emerge in very unexpected ways. “I’ve decided to take a strong interest in literacy for the peasants. I was teaching her to read.” Xena told him, with a straight face. “She’s a little slow, but learning.”  It was fun, she decided, watching Alaran’s eyes go all over the place in the room, anywhere but back to meet her own. “She has trouble with b’s.”

Her security chief cleared his throat.  “Ah..er… well, Mistress, that’s.. um..”

Bad girl. Xena leaned against the sill, taking the pressure of her painfully aching back. “Apparently our friend Stanislaus shared your concerns.” She told him, dropping her amused expression. “He tried to smuggle my little blond playmate out of the stronghold the other night.”

“Ah.”  Alaran’s expression indicated regret the plan had failed.

“Apparently someone thought we’d be better off without him.” Xena’s tone now went icy. “Fortunately for him, but not for me, I found his horses before he could use them and his ambushers found me.”

Alaran’s jaw dropped in total shock. “Mistress!”

“So.” Xena blew a lock of hair out f her eyes. “It was either ruin Gabrielle’s reputation or risk having it known I took an arrow in the back.”  She lifted a brow sardonically. “Not one of my tougher decisions. Bad luck for Gabrielle, but I suspect she’s survive it.”

“By the gods.” Alaran blurted. “But what about the battle? Are you badly injured? Mistress, you can’t…”

“I can.” Xena brushed him off. “I’ll be fine. It wasn’t that bad a shot. The kid did a good job with bandaging it. As long as Bregos doesn’t know he’s got an edge, we’ll be all right.” She half turned, as a roll of thunder shook the walls. “See? The gods are on our side, Alaran. They even gave me an extra day.”

Alaran joined her at the window. “Mistress, you take a great chance.” He murmured, obviously dismayed. “If this gets out, Bregos will be the least of our worries. There is more behind this.”

Xena regarded the storm. “Someone trying desperately to get to me, yes.” She agreed. “Someone desperate enough to try to remove those they think closest to me, and open another opportunity.”

“Another, Mistress?”

Pale blue eyes turned and studied him. “Old women slip, Alaran, but seldom on a perfect schedule.”

A gust of wind puffed the draperies back, bringing an icy chill to the room.

***

"Stop it!" Gabrielle struggled against the grip of her captor. "Let me down!"

"Shut up!" The man ducked into an alcove and threw her against the wall. "Here - now we've got her"

Gabrielle fell to he floor, stunned, and rolled over only to have hands clutch at her and booted feet slam against her ribs. Instinctively, she curled up into a ball and ducked her head.  Old memories became shockingly, vividly present and she shivered in reflex.

"You got her? Good." A new voice broke in, and Gabrielle felt hands pull roughly at her.  She tried to get free, but she was slammed against the wall again and hard fingers grabbed her chin and forced her head up.

She blinked as a man's face came into focus, a scruffy, bearded visage  that writhed into a snarl

"Wh... what do you   want?" Gabrielle blurted. "I didn't do anything!"

The man tightened his grip. "You're the queen's new slut, aren't ye?"

Gabrielle swallowed hard, caught between the truth and what Xena wanted known.

"Aren't ye?" The man repeated,   more loudly.

"I'm her chambermaid." Gabrielle finally answered, in a hoarse voice. "Yes."

"Chambermaid." The man laughed  "Aye, that's a word for it." He took a tighter  hold on her. "You  listen to me, little slut. You've got information I  want, and you're going to give it to me, right now!"

"I don't know what you mean..."

"Shut up!" The man suddenly slapped her across the face. "I talk, you answer. Got me?"

She was in trouble. Gabrielle felt her heart rate treble. She was in big trouble, and there was no one here to get her out of it except herself.  "What do you want?"

"That's better." The man crouched closer to her. "What do you know?”

Gabrielle swallowed, raising a hand to shield herself from the threatening figure standing over her. “Nothing….”

“Wrong answer!!” The man backhanded her violently.  Gabrielle’s head slammed against the wall and she saw stars.  She felt her shirt tighten around her throat, and suddenly she was being hauled up and half choked.

“All right.” The man was face to face with her, blasting her with breath reeking of something foul. “Now you listen, slut. You’re going to talk, and talk fast, or I’ll break you in half.”

Gabrielle struggled to draw in breath, her hands clutching at his. “B…”

“Something’s going on up that Bacchae’s chamber you’ve been taken into, and I want to know what it is. What’s she hiding?” The man pulled her closer, his eyes boring into hers. “Tell me!”

The grip on her neck loosened slightly. “B.. I don’t…” Gabrielle felt a panic rising.

“You do!” The man shook her hard. “You know, and you know that you know, slut!”

“Hey!!” A new voice interrupted. “What are you doing? Stop it!”

Toris. Gabrielle tried to look over the man’s shoulder. “Toris!”

“Get out of here, you idiot!” The big man yelled. “I didn’t tell you to come here!”  He turned and kicked out, catching Toris in the knee and sending him sprawling.  Then he turned and smacked Gabrielle against the wall again. “Talk, bitch! You’ve been in there for days, and  you know what’s she’s up to!”

“No!” Gabrielle felt blood running down her chin. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Liar!” The man hit her again, and again.

The pain was incredible. It felt like her head was on fire. “NO!”

“What is she thinking? What is she doing?” The man screamed at her, spittle hitting her in the face. “You know, you must have listened to her talking! She had meetings with her people! Now tell me!! Tell ME!!!”

“NO!” Gabrielle screamed back at him. “I don’t know! She doesn’t talk to me!”

“Liar!”

The blow this time rattled every bone in her body. Gabrielle felt the breath come out of her and she sagged against his hold.  “No.” She whispered this time, tasting blood.

“Tell me!” The voice slammed against her more powerful than any blow.

‘Stop it!” Toris interrupted again.  “She doesn’t know anything!”

The man dropped Gabrielle and turned on Toris. He grabbed him by the shirt and shoved him against the wall. “You little idiot. Of course she knows!”

Gabrielle knew she had only a moment. Only a moment while the man was distracted. She turned over and crawled along the wall, hearing the angry voices growing louder and louder behind her. Her entire body hurt, and  her head felt like it weighed far too much. She felt her way along, sound starting to echo unpleasantly.  Her fingers felt cold stone, and then the warmth of wood.

“I said, leave her! She’s just a poor wretch! Xena’s taken her and made her a bedmate, not a confidant!” Toris bellowed. “Me, an idiot? You’re the idiot! We could have used her to get us into Xena’s chambers!”

The sound of struggling  bodies impacted her almost physically. Gabrielle pulled herself up inch by inch, until she felt the door latch under her fingers. She fell back, tugging the door with her and after a long, frightening moment where it refused to budge, it swung inward with a blast of cold rain.

She crawled through it, into the weather. The icy stones under her fingers were slick, and she slipped over them, her knees going out from under her and sending her belly down the steps in a series of hard, painful tumbles to the yard below.

Stunned, she lay there for a moment, just trying to catch her breath.  She heard voices above her, yelling out over the storm, and it put an urgency inside her. She got painfully to her hands and knees and crawled off, rolling around the corner of the stockyard and out of view of the door.

Now what? Gabrielle put a hand to her head and felt warmth, and when she looked at her palm, she could see the red stain even as the rain washed it clear.  She needed help. Her eyes lifted as she looked around her, seeing nothing but stark gray walls.  There was no help for her, her mind dully realized. She tilted her head back a little and looked up at the tower.

No help. She was alone here. She couldn’t trust anyone. Not even Toris. He’d helped her, yes – but only so he could use her for his own purposes.

A sharp pain lanced through her head, and she whimpered, unable to stop the sound. Then she fastened her eyes on the narrow stairs up to the tower walkway, and started to inch forward. She knew there was only one place she could hide.

One place maybe they couldn’t come after her.

**

The door closed behind Alaran’s tall form. The security chief had promised to track down the ambushers, and very gently, very cautiously chided Xena for not telling him earlier.

“Should I have had to tell him?” Xena asked the ceiling. “He’s supposed to know everything.”

But he hadn’t. Which, if she thought about it, wasn’t a bad thing because if he hadn’t known, then maybe no one else suspected either.

Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Xena glowered at the closed door, feeling her temper rise.  With a frown, she looked over at the candle, which had burned down a full mark since Gabrielle had left. Were the kitchens that busy?

A chill went down her back. Irritated, she turned and closed the windows.

Maybe Gabrielle was getting something special for her. She seemed the type to do that kind of thing. Xena reasoned. Some melon, maybe. Or more of the mead. She snapped her fingers. That must be it.

The candle fluttered on, burning down further.

Without her even realizing it, Xena had begun to pace. Despite the pain jerking at her at every step, she felt driven to move, driven by a nameless something inside her clawing to get out.  To the window, back to the door, back to the window. She leaned on the window, almost short of breath, staring out into the rain. The world outside was gray and formless, the rain making the structures almost invisible.

And then she turned, all her confusion wrapping down tight and centering in her guts around a single thought.  Where was Gabrielle?.  With a short sigh of frustrated disgust, she made one more trip across the room and this time didn’t stop at the door. She yanked it open and stalked through it, starting towards the steps down to the kitchen.  She’d gotten down two of them when a sound stopped her.

Her head cocked to one side, and she listened intently, but it didn’t come again. Xena turned and started down but something stopped her and she turned around again, climbing back up into the rotunda. She moved to stand in the very center of it, her head dropping slightly as she concentrated.

Nothing. Xena frowned, wondering if she’d slipped her senses.  She took a breath, and then her instincts gently curled around her, tugging her towards the outer door. She followed them as she always had, trusting in them when she could trust in nothing else.  Her hand fell on the latch and she worked it, opening the door out onto the rain lashed walkway.  The icy cold hit her in the face and she almost backed up, but that same instinct was prodding her forward and despite the agony each step cost, she emerged into the rain.

Her head bent as she turned her face from the worst of it, and her eyes fell on the inner postern door that lead down to the lower yard.  She hesitated, then her ears caught again the sound that had alerted her.

A tiny whimper.  As though a puppy were lost, and calling for it’s mother. Xena went to the door and opened it, peering down the stone steps. She blinked the rain out of her eyes, spotting a small, huddled form halfway down.  A hot flush of blood warmed her skin, and a surge of urgency washed away the pain as Xena loped down the steps, keeping her balance more by some miracle of inborn grace than by conscious effort.

As she reached that poor, tiny huddled form, it raised it’s head, fair hair darkened by the pelting rain and looked up at her, with frightened, mist green eyes that on locking with hers lost their fear as a shaking hand reached for her in dire appeal. “Xe..”

And just like that, on those stairs, in that cold rain, Xena felt something change inside her. A wall she’d built up over years of hard trials crumbled as she dropped to her knees on the steps and took that outstretched hand, pulling Gabrielle to her as a clap of thunder shook the sky overhead.  She wrapped her arms protectively around the girl, feeling Gabrielle’s hands clutch at her gown. “Easy.” She heard herself say.

“H…” The girl struggled to speak. “C…cc”

“I got you.” Xena told her. “You’re all right.”

Gabrielle shivered, huddling closer to her and burying her face into Xena’s robe.

Xena looked around her, ducking her head against the driving rain as she considered her options. Yeah. She had Gabrielle. Now the question was, what was she going to do with her? Her eyes tracked up the stairs, then she turned her head to study the silent form practically in her lap.

Damn.

**

Xena kicked the door open, shaking the wet hair out of her eyes as she crossed the room to the bed. She gently let the drenched body she was carrying down on the sheets, then sank to her knees next to it as the pain finally got through her resolve.  Her hands clenched the covers, leaving rusty stains and she knelt there gasping for a long moment.  “Augh.” She finally blew out a disgusted breath and lifted her head, having mastered the agony.

First things first. She pulled herself to her feet and went to the door, closing it.  Then she stripped out of the soaked gown she was wearing and threw on a shift, raking her fingers through her hair impatiently as she crossed the room again and retrieved the kit from her chest. She returned to the bed and eased herself down next to it, resting her elbows on the surface and examining her sodden little prize.

Gabrielle’s lips were blue, and she was shivering visibly. Her eyes fluttered open and found Xena’s face, fixing there and widening a little.

“What happened?” Xena asked firmly.

The lips parted to answer, but Gabrielle’s teeth were chattering too badly to make anything intelligible and after a moment her jaws clamped shut, and her eyes followed. .  Impatiently, Xena yanked the covers over her, enfolding her in silk and goose down.  She could see bruises across the girl’s face, and at least one cut on her skull, the blood staining her pale hair with brown rust.  Her own jaw tightened at the damage. The kid looked like she’d been run over by a supply wagon.

She cupped Gabrielle’s face in her hands.  She could feel the icy chill against her palms and heard a faint gasp of relief  release from the girl’s chest as her hands warmed the cold skin.  “Hey.” Xena pitched her voice low. The rigid muscles under her fingertips relaxed a touch. She gently rubbed Gabrielle’s cheeks with her thumbs and after a moment, her eyes opened again and an odd look of some emotion Xena couldn’t recognize filled them.

Funny, how warm it made *her* feel inside seeing it, though. “Better?” Xena asked.

Gabrielle nodded faintly.

“What happened?” Xena returned to her original goal. “What the Hades were you doing outside? Running?”

The girl nodded again.

“From what? Me?”  The queen asked, wincing at the odd pang in her chest as she did spoke the words.

“N…no..” Gabrielle stuttered. “I w.. went down to th…” Her teeth chattered again. “Ss..sorry. Cold.”

Xena pulled the covers closer. “You went down to the kitchen, and they jumped you.” She guessed.

Gabrielle nodded.

“Why?” Xena insisted. She knew the girl’s wounds had to be taken care of, but she needed the information first.

“Wanted to know your secret.” Gabrielle told her.

My secret? Xena frowned. “What were they talking about?”

Gabrielle shook her head. “Dunno.” She whispered. “They just said something was going on, and I had to tell them what it was.”

Ah. Xena cursed inwardly. She’d thought she’d been doing such a good job of hiding it, too.  Tiny shifts in schedule, minor alterations in her usual way of doing things – that was all it took to start rumors, and then she’d compounded them by taking in little Gabrielle. “So you told them.” She concluded. “All right.”  Her brain kicked in, shifting her plans to account for this new, very unwelcome development.

The girl gazed at her wanly. Her hand emerged from the covers and curled around Xena’s. “No.” She said. “I didn’t.”

Xena’s mental processes abruptly skidded to a halt. “What?” She peered more closely at her young charge. “What do you mean you didn’t tell them? They beat you up, didn’t they? Or did you get all that falling down the damn stairs?”

Gabrielle’s eyes blinked open and shut erratically. “I didn’t tell them.” She whispered. “I didn’t… I swear it…” Her voice rose. “I told them… I told them.. you didn’t talk to me.” She got out hoarsely. “And they… “ Her hand lifted towards her head.

Xena captured it and held it. “And they hit you.”

“Yeah.” Gabrielle agreed softly. “Ow.”

Oh, kid. Xena sighed “All right.” She opened her kit. “Lemme see what they did to you.”  She probed Gabrielle’s head carefully, stopping when she heard the quickly indrawn breath as her fingers touched a large lump over the girl’s right ear. She drew her hand back, and it was covered in blood. “Nice.” Her lip curled. “Stupid bastards. Wonder if I should cut them open first and then pull their intestines out, or just reach down their throats and do it from the inside for this.”

Gabrielle swallowed audibly.

Xena looked down at her. “You’re not going to tell me you feel sorry for them, are you?” She asked. “Don’t disappoint me, Gabrielle.”  Her hands moved around the girls’ head, cleaning off the wound and the matted hair around it. She leaned closer to see better, and blinked herself as she felt the warm stream of Gabrielle’s breath through the light fabric of her shift. “Don’t… disappoint me.” She repeated, in a softer tone.

Gabrielle remained silent for a few heartbeats. “If they get hurt for hurting me.. who really wins?” She finally asked.

“It’s not about you.” Xena told her, grimacing as she examined a long split in the flesh over Gabrielle’s ear. “It’s about me. It’s always about me. Remember that.” She decided putting stitches there with the kid conscious wasn’t really an option she wanted to take and settled for cleaning the wound well and bandaging it. “I spread the word that you were mine. If they hurt you, and don’t get punished for it, I lose.”   She gently chucked Gabrielle’s chin. “I don’t like losing.”

“Oh.”

“Where else?” Xena asked brusquely.

Gabrielle frowned, and reached hesitantly for her head. “Um..”

Xena caught her hand again and laid it down on the bed. “Don’t touch. Where else are you hurt?” She turned the girl’s hand over and looked at her arm, then at the other one. There were bruises, and scrapes near her elbows where she’d fallen, but nothing seemed serious.

Gabrielle watched her in bemusement, but made no move to protest the treatment. “I got your sheets wet.” She murmured.

“Yeah, you did. A wet noodle whipping and bed with no supper for ya.” Xena continued her search. “Does that hurt?”

“Ow.”

“Guess it does. Looks like you might have cracked a rib.” Xena shook her head. “Bastards.” She eased back and rested her elbows on the bed.

They looked at each other in slightly awkward silence for a bit. “Thanks for coming to help me.” Gabrielle said at last, nibbling her lower lip. “Getting up those steps was kinda tough.”

“Hmm.” Xena studied her. “You could have gotten into the store rooms.” She said. “Or through the outside door to the yard from there. Why even try the steps?” She waited for Gabrielle to answer, curious as to what the girl would say.

The blood covered fingers slowly traced a random pattern on the silk sheets, and Gabrielle’s eyes tracked it almost hypnotically before she rolled her head to one side and looked up. “I… “ She hesitated. “I knew I needed help.”

Xena’s eyebrows lifted sharply. “And you thought of coming up here? I’m not known for helping the odd slave kid in trouble, Gabrielle.” She told the girl. “Big mistake.”

This time, though, the warm green eyes didn’t flinch. They dropped to the bed’s surface, then slowly tracked up to Xena’s rain drenched hair. A faint, almost roguish smile appeared on Gabrielle’s face. “But I was right, wasn’t I?”

Xena narrowed her eyes and leaned closer. “Think so?” She asked, in a dangerous voice.

“Yes.” Gabrielle whispered, still smiling.

“Well, you’re wrong.” Xena said. “I was out for a walk, and you were just in my way. Had to move you.”

Gabrielle looked past her out the window, which was being lashed by rain.

“I like walking in the rain. Got a problem with that, little slave?”

Gabrielle returned her gaze to Xena’s face.

Xena sighed, and leaned on her elbows on the bed. She got almost nose to nose with the girl. “Now you listen to me.” She growled. “If you ever, ever tell anyone I did this, I’ll turn you into sheep fertilizer. Got me?” She glared at Gabrielle, outraged when a faint twinkle entered the eyes watching her.

“Okay.” Gabrielle agreed softly. “I’ll never tell anyone, I promise.”

They were still nose to nose. Xena noticed for the first time tiny golden flecks in the depths of Gabrielle’s eyes. “All right then.” She said. “Just so we’ve got an understanding.”

Gabrielle took a couple of breaths before she answered. “We do.”

“Good.” Xena straightened up, biting back an oath as her injury protested. She got to her feet slowly and picked up her kit, then put it down again. “Might need that later.” She told Gabrielle. “Got a headache?”

“Uh… yes.” Gabrielle said. “Most of me aches.”

“You got your head rattled.” Xena told her. “You’re gonna feel a lot worse pretty soon.”

“Mm.” Gabrielle was already feeling worse. Her stomach had tied itself into knots, and a slow burning ache was working it’s way up her side from where she’d slammed into the steps. “And I didn’t even get you breakfast.”

Surprisingly, Xena chuckled. “Put your head down and relax. I’ll take care of breakfast.” She paused, her face losing it’s humor. “And other things.” She let her hand drop to the girls’ head, and brushed her fingers lightly through the pale, almost dry hair. “Since you got my sheets wet, you get to sleep in them. Stay here. Don’t move.”

Damp or no damp, that sounded wonderful. “All right.” Gabrielle agreed.

“That was an order, not a request, Gabrielle.” Xena gently tugged on a lock of her hair. “Try to remember I’m a ruthless woman with no heart and well known homicidal tendencies, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Obediently, Gabrielle closed her eyes and allowed her body to relax against the softness of the bed.

“Gabrielle?”

The girl looked up at her.

“What was his name?”

Gabrielle shook her head. “I don’t know.” She answered honestly. “I never saw him before.”  She added. “He was just… um..”

“Big and ugly?” Xena supplied.

“Something like that, yeah.” Gabrielle said. “He… he had a beard. He smelled bad.”

Xena scowled. “Remind me to start asking for more small, pretty slaves.” She muttered. “Anything else you noticed? Anything they said?”

Gabrielle thought back. “Just that they knew you were hiding something… one of them.. came in and tried to stop the big guy. He said they could have used me to get inside here, to you.” She looked at Xena. “But I never would have let them.”

The queen gazed down at her with a rueful grin. “Oh really?” She ruffled Gabrielle’s blond locks again. “I’m sure you woulda stopped em cold, huh?”

Gabrielle acknowledged the unlikeliness of it all with a slight grin of her own.

“Rest.” Xena ordered firmly.

The pale eyelashes fluttered shut.

Xena watched her for a moment, her fingers still tangled in Gabrielle’s hair. Then her shoulders shifted and she drew back a step, her brow tensed in thought.

Her eyes grew cold as ice.  She flexed her hands, and headed for the dressing chamber.

**

The slaves were all lined up in the stockyard, in the rain.  They shivered, looking around anxiously at the guards near the walls, each cradling a well maintained crossbow.

Xena’s men, all of them. They bore the distinctive hawk’s head insignia on their right breast, a baleful yellow blazon that marked them as her personal guard.

The door to the kitchens swung open and Alaran appeared, stepping forward and looking around before he turned and nodded. He was still under the overhang of the ceiling, but barely, and wayward raindrops darkened his leather armor.

Outlined in torchlight, Xena appeared.

She stepped into the doorway and paused, regarding them all with a cold stare.  “This will be very simple.” She said. “It can also be brief, or last all afternoon. I don’t really care. That’s up to you.”

They stared at her.

“One of you struck my chambermaid.” Xena said. “Either the one who did it steps forward, you push him forward, or I’ll start on this end of the line and kill all of you until he either is revealed, or you’re all dead.”

The sodden figures shifted and looked at each other. Several of them whimpered.

“I’m waiting.” Xena folded her hands serenely. “You have a count of ten.” She glanced at Alaran. “Got your bow ready?”

Alaran hefted the weapon, bracing the butt on his knee and cocking it.

Thunder boomed. “Maybe you’ll get lucky, and Zeus will point me in the right direction.” Xena commented. “You’ll die faster if he does it.”

No one moved.

“Right.” Xena smiled. “Start with that one.” She pointed at a stocky, bearded man.

“Mistress.” Alaran hefted the weapon and set the butt against his shoulder. He steadied his aim, then squeezed the release with a curiously gentle pull.

The shaft took the slave in the throat. He dropped with a harsh gurgle, his hands clawing at the arrow.  His boots kicked out, splashing those around him with muddy water.

Xena watched, waiting for the grunting and gurgling to peter off before she returned her attention to the slaves. “Next?” She inquired, in a droll tone. They were all shivering, rendered gray from the rain and almost indistinguishable. “No? Okay.” She pointed again. “That one.” Her finger indicated an older woman.

Alaran finished cocking his bow, then he raised it and aimed, his face a cool mask. “Mistress.”

Just then a heavy body stumbled forward and sprawled at Xena’s feet, splashing her with mud. She looked down. “Ah.”

The man rolled over and glared behind him. “Bastards!” He screamed. “Bloody traitors! Damn you da..”

Xena got tired of the noise and kicked him in the head. The man sprawled back into the mud face down. She regarded him in mild bemusement. “Here I thought we’d have to go through half a dozen first. Guess you weren’t as beloved as you thought.”  Her eyes went to her men. “Pick him up.”

The soldiers obeyed instantly, grabbing the man and lifting him to his feet, holding him still as they faced him around towards Xena. “You bi..”

“Ah ah.” Xena moved like the lightning flashing above them. She caught hold of him by the throat and tensed her fingers, cutting off his speech.   She looked over his shoulder towards the watching slaves, and yanked him to one side, so they had a good view. “Everyone watching?”

“Mistress.” Alaran stepped closer. “Allow me.”

Xena just looked at him. Then she laughed, and let her other hand slip free of her sleeve, revealing her favorite dagger.

The slave started struggling.  Xena bent her eyes on him with fierce intent. “Ah… so now you’re scared, eh?” She taunted. “So long as it’s not a pretty little girl you’re beating up on.”

He growled low in his throat.

“My pretty little girl.” Xena growled right back. “Put his hand against the wall.”

The soldiers stretched his arm out, and did so. Xena drove her dagger into the wrist, feeling the shock go through his entire body. She pushed harder, then shoved down, and up, cutting through bone and tendon. Yanking the knife out, she handed it to the soldier, then grabbed the slave’s hand and pulled it right off his body.

Negligently, she tossed it over her shoulder. “Now.” She released his throat. “Who’s your daddy?”

He screamed. Xena lifted her hand and punched him in the mouth. He stopped screaming. “Again.” She repeated. “Who bought you.”

His tongue poked out in agony.

“Want to lose that too?” Xena asked.

“B… “ The man choked. “Bregos.”

“Gee.” Xena sighed. “Here I was hoping it was the cook.” She fastened her hand on his throat again. “I’m getting real tired of her recipes.”

His eyes were half out of his head. With a hawk like strike, Xena stabbed at his face, the blade entering and exiting his eye in a flicker. Blood exploded outward, and he tried to scream. The soldiers held him still. Xena struck again, cutting out his other eye.

Blood drained down his face, flowing over the hand she still had gripping his throat. “B.. I… I told you..”

“Uh huh.” Xena chuckled. “But I never said you’d get anything for it.” She closed her hand, crushing his windpipe.

He couldn’t even scream, but his chest heaved anyway.

Xena lowered her knife, then stepped forward and drove it’s point into his gut. She turned it slowly, then pulled upward, cutting a hole in him and wrenching a tortured scream from his chest despite her hold.

Then she released him and held her knife hand out into the rain, allowing the blood to wash off it. “Hang him on the gate.” She instructed Alaran, before she turned back to the slaves. “He’ll die nice and slowly there. You all can watch, if you like.” She smiled at them. “It’s a rainy day, might as well take advantage of the free entertainment.”

The slaves huddled together in terror, refusing to meet her eyes.  Two of the ones closest were sobbing hysterically.

“No?” Xena flicked the last droplets of blood off her dagger. “Well, I’m not going to have to worry about anyone bothering my little friend ever again, now am I?” She let her hawk’s gaze sweep over the crowd. They all bowed their heads. “Good.” She said. “Because if anyone does, I’ll make what happened to him look like a barrel of laughs.”

She let the words hang. Then she licked a raindrop off the point of her knife, and chuckled.

**

Gabrielle woke at the sound of loud thunder. Her eyes blinked open, and she stared around her in total confusion for a moment, unable to reconcile her surroundings.

Then the pain hit, and she remembered.

With a groan, she put her head back down gingerly on the pillow, drawing in a breath filled with unfamiliar scents. The wound on her scalp was killing her. She lifted a hand to it, her fingertips cautiously feeling it’s outlines under the bandage Xena had applied.

Xena. Gabrielle’s thoughts turned and took another tack completely. Her unlikely savior. She knew Xena must have carried her all the way up the steps, and Gabrielle knew it must have hurt her. If she closed her eyes, she could almost remember the journey, her body shaking with cold pressed against Xena’s as the queen surged up the steps.

How strong she was. Gabrielle remembered thinking. The arms that had cradled her hadn’t trembled, and the heartbeat she’d heard through the ear pressed against Xena had been steady.

How safe she’d felt.

How gentle Xena’s touch had been, warming her cheeks.

It was such a strange feeling. Gabrielle simply lay there, as the emotions filled her, pushing the pain back for a brief moment. She couldn’t even put a name to what she felt, except that it made her short of breath with an ache that seemed to come from her very soul.

It was like being hungry, but not sure of what for.

She wished Xena would come back, and as she sounded the words in her head, Xena did. The door opened, and she painfully rolled over, to see the queen sweeping across the floor dressed in a flowing, black silk robe.

Xena walked to the basin of water on the chest and washed her hands, using the slightly spicy smelling soap resting next to it. “So.” She addressed Gabrielle. “How are you feeling?”

Gabrielle licked her lips, which felt dry and rough. “Thirsty.”

Xena looked over her shoulder at her, a subsiding storm evident in her pale blue eyes.  “Ah.” She walked over and picked up a skin full of something that gurgled and returned to the bedside. “Forgot to leave this with you.”

“How are you feeling?” Gabrielle asked shyly, taking the skin.

“Like someone who’s been shot in the back with an arrow, and had to carry around cute little blond slave girls all day. Why?” Xena’s lips twitched into a droll grin as she watched Gabrielle blush.  She sat down in the chair next to the bed and slowly let the feral tension seep out of her, watching with idle fascination as her fingers twitched and curled of their own volition.

Gabrielle suckled at the spout on the skin, swallowing the water with a feeling of relief. Her eyes wandered a little, and she suddenly noticed a splash of dried rust along Xena’s arm.

Blood.

She looked up at Xena’s profile, it’s edges outlined by the dim, stormy light coming in the window.  “Did you….” She hesitated, not really sure what to ask, or if she wanted to know.

Xena slowly turned her head and looked down. “Did I what, Gabrielle?” She asked in a cool voice. “Did I find out who jumped you?”  She watched the girl’s eyes flicker. “Oh yeah. I found out. You wanna know what happened to him?”

Gabrielle swallowed, wanting very much to retract the question. She didn’t want to know. She knew it was bad, she knew it was her fault. Heartsick, she just lifted her head and looked at Xena in silence.

Shocked to find, not mocking but a quiet, remote compassion in the queen’s eyes.

“A lot of things I do, I do because it’s what I have to do to keep power in my hands, Gabrielle.” Xena said. “I won’t lie and tell you I don’t enjoy it. I do.” She added. “But it’s all for a reason. If I have to sacrifice a few lives, to keep control, I will.”

Gabrielle took a breath, then released it.

“It wasn’t about you.” Xena insisted quietly. “You didn’t cause that man’s gutting or his death. I did that, and I did it because what he did went against my will, and that I can’t tolerate. You understand me, Gabrielle?”

The girl nodded silently.

Xena reached over and touched her hair, feeling the flinch as she did so. It surprised her just how much that hurt, and she frowned, disturbed at the churn of emotions inside her. “Gabrielle?”

The green eyes slowly lifted to hers.

Xena touched the bandage. “I didn’t want this to happen to you again.”

Gabrielle exhaled, nibbling the inside of her lip. “Everything has a price, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, it does.”

The girl nodded her head. “I understand.”

Xena relaxed a trifle. “But you don’t like it.” She guessed, giving the blond hair a tweak.

“No.” Gabrielle answered honestly. “I don’t.”

“S’allright.” The queen said. “You don’t have to like it.” She let her hand rest on the girl’s head, grimacing slightly as she felt a warmth under her palm. “Your head hurt?”

“Yeah.”

Xena removed the bandage, and found an expected swelling under it. “Well, I tell you what, my friend. Since you’re still coherent, if you give me a hand with my back, I’ll see what I can do about this. Deal?”

My friend. The confusing swirl of emotions filled Gabrielle again. Was she?

Did she want to be?

She looked up at Xena, and suddenly, for the first time as she looked into those remote eyes, she saw past the ice, for a just a second, and found something else back in there looking back at her.

A person.

“Deal.” Gabrielle made her choice. “Better hurry up, though. I’m not feeling so good.”

Xena stood and slipped out of her robe, then knelt beside the bed, turning her bare back to Gabrielle’s eyes. She handed her the kit off the table and let her elbows rest on her knee, rubbing her fingers over the dried blood on her arm, and watching the tiny rust shavings fall to the floor.

Gabrielle worked in silence for a few moments, her touch gentle and soft against Xena’s skin.  “Um.. Xena?”

“Yes?”

“It’s all red again.”

Damn it. “Yeah, I thought so.”

“We’re both pretty messed up, huh?”

Xena sighed. “Yeah.” She turned and looked over her shoulder. “But we’ll get through it.”

Surprisingly, to her, Gabrielle smiled despite the discomfort she was obviously in. Likewise, Xena smiled back.

Outside, the rain poured on, washing the seeping blood from the figure spread eagled on the gate, it’s head already tipped in death.

**

“Mistress, there is great unrest.” Stanislaus wrung his hands together.

“And?” Xena sat in her chair, in the public chamber. She picked listlessly at a bunch of grapes. “It’s the weather. After the tournament tomorrow, it’ll all settle down.”

“But, Mistress…”

“Stanislaus.” Xena was at the end of her always meager supply of patience. “I know. Drop it.” She ordered. “I know what Bregos is up to. Tomorrow, I’ll take care of it, and anyone who’s restless after that better be restless far, far away from here.”

“The slaves are agitating, mistress. After this morning.” Stanislaus braved her temper, a rare thing. “I’m concerned.”

Xena looked at him. “Okay. “ She studied a grape. “Go downstairs, and tell them if I hear they’re upset one more time, I’ll come down there again and give them something to really be upset about.”  She eyed him coolly. “I’m not in the mood, Stanislaus.”

He sighed. “Mistress.”

A light knock provided a welcome interruption. “Come.”

The door opened and Alaran entered, giving Stanislaus a dour look as he crossed the floor and bent a knee to Xena. “Mistress, I have news.”  He was carrying a tray, which he set down on the table after he rose.

Xena lifted an eyebrow at him.

“My men have gotten word of the men who stood outside the walls.”

Xena’s shoulderblades itched. “Ah.” She steepled her fingers. “And?”

“They have escaped, Mistress. They ran from the stronghold that very night.” Alaran looked disappointed. “My spies tell me they did not know of any success or failure of their mission.”

One thing gone right. Xena relaxed in her chair. “All right. Have you sent someone after them?”

“Yes, Mistress. Two of my best men.” Her security master assured her. “They will bring them back. Alive or in pieces, as the cause warrants.”

Stanislaus winced unobtrusively.

“Good job.” Xena praised Alaran. “Let me know any news you get back.”

“Very well, Mistress.” Alaran nodded. “They were not soldiers.” He added. “They were from the outlands, who arrived here days before Bregos did.”

“Really.” Xena murmured. “From the newly conquered areas?”

“No.” Alaran shook his head. “From Thrace.”

“Thrace?” Xena drummed her fingers on her chair arm. “Who owns them, I wonder?” She mused. “No matter. We’ll find out.” She concluded. “I want two men outside the door of my private chambers, Alaran, during dinner.”

He nodded. “To protect the little one?”

Xena watched Stanislaus’ lips twist. “Yes.”  She steepled her fingers again. “I know no slave will come near her, but there are enough uncertainties around to warrant caution.”

“Mistress… “ Stanislaus spoke up. “Is such a one worth it?” He asked. “So much disturbance…”

Alaran cleared his throat. “Her majesty has already answered that question.” He said. “Or did you miss this morning’s entertainment?” His voice was sharp.

“I did not.” The seneschal said. “I was just telling her majesty of the slaves unrest over the sight.”

“Unrest?” Alaran laughed. “They’re lucky to be alive to tell of it. Tell them that! Fools! To listen to Bregos temptations?” He put his hands on his slim hips. “It has been too long for them, I’m thinking. They have gotten used to her majesties beneficence.”

Hm. Xena cocked her head to one side. Her Majesties’ Beneficence.  Had a nice ring to it. “He’s right.” She stated flatly. “Everyone’s gotten complacent, and Bregos took advantage of that. It’s time to shake things up, and the fight tomorrow’ll just be the start of that.”

Stanislaus squared his shoulders. “Very well, Mistress. I will do what I need to spread that word.” He told her. “Perhaps it is what they all need to hear.”  He bowed low, then turned and padded silently to the door, opening it and passing through quickly.

Xena exhaled. “Ares’ own jackass.” She muttered “I swear that man has the brains of an Agean sea slug.”

Alaran coughed, his lips twitching. “Mistress, how is the little one? My spies tell me she was cruelly used.”

“Yeah, poor kid.” Xena sighed. “They knocked her to Hades, but she held her tongue an didn’t spill anything to them.” She got up as a sense of restlessness took over, and paced in front of the fireplace. “She’ll be all right.”

Alaran watched her with curious eyes. “And you, my liege?”

Xena took a deep breath, feeling the stabbing ache in her back. “I’ll live.” She said. “And tomorrow, I’ll do what I have to do.”  She added. “You checked the tray?”

“Personally, Mistress.” Alaran assured her.

“Good.” Xena rested her hands on either side of it, gazing down at the covered contents. “No sense in tempting fate.” She looked up. “Where’s Bregos?”

“In his quarters, Mistress. Waiting the rain out. He and his chief attendants were sparring earlier. They seem in good humor.” The security chief hesitated. “Word of the morning’s activities is spreading to the men.”

“And?” Xena kept her eyes on the tray.

“What I heard, Mistress, is a welcome for the leader we knew best.”

Xena smiled. She lifted her head and looked at Alaran.

**

Gabrielle was tossing and turning, her sweat drenched hair plastered to her forehead. It was obvious she was half lost in fever, softly guttural words wrenching themselves from her throat.

“Damn.” Xena nudged the door closed, and put the tray down on the dresser. She walked over and sat on the bed, putting a hand on the girls shoulder. “Gabrielle?”

"Mama?" Gabrielle whispered. "Is that you?" She clutched at Xena’s fingers. "I dreamed you were dead.. All of you..da and.." Her eyes blinked open and fastened on Xena's face. "Mama?"

"No." Xena told her. "I'm not your mother." She watched the expression in her eyes change. "You're not home."

Gabrielle's face fell, and her gaze tracked around the room. "Wasn't a dream..." Her voice broke. "Was it? They're... all gone." A look of forlorn despair appeared. “All gone.”

“Yes, they are.” The queen said. “But you’re here, and… I’m here.”  She rested her free hand on Gabrielle’s fevered head. “And you’re out of your skull at the moment.”

“I.. am?” Gabrielle warbled softly. “I feel strange.” She gazed at Xena. “Are you my friend?”

Now wasn’t that a damn good question? Xena studied the kid seriously. She certainly wasn’t anyone’s friend.

However. “Yeah.” Xena told her. “I’m as much of a friend as you’ve got here right now, Gabrielle.”

It seemed to pacify the girl. She settled down, her hand still curled around Xena’s, bloodshot green eyes blinking slowly as she relaxed. “Okay.”

“I’ll take care of you.” Xena said. “So don’t worry.”

Gabrielle was breathing more heavily than she’d been earlier. “I miss mama.” She whispered. “She made cookies for us.”

The words touched her, in an unexpected way and brought back memories she’d thought long, long since buried in dust. “Yeah.” Xena stroked the sweat dampened hair. “Mine did too.” She kept her voice low. “Y’know, she was making them the day the soldiers came and killed her.”

Gabrielle gazed up at her.

“It was my birthday.” Xena added, allowing herself a brief moment to feel that horror all over again.

“Oh.” The girl seemed to understand. “That’s terrible.”

“Yeah, it was.” The queen agreed. “I don’t celebrate my birthday anymore, not since then.” She deliberately released the memories, banishing them back to the depths of her experience.

“D.. do you miss your mama?” Gabrielle asked.

Xena thought about that. Then she slowly shook her head. “I don’t really remember her.”

“Oh.” Gabrielle sniffled a little. “I wish I didn’t either.”

Xena traced a line across the girl’s forehead, smoothing the lines that creased the skin there. “Some day.” She promised. “ You’ll wake up one day, and the past will be in the past, and you just go on.”

Gabrielle clung to her hand, pulling it close and resting her cheek against Xena’s knuckles. “It hurts.” She said. “Everything hurts.”

“Yeah, I know.” Xena told her. “Let me see what I can do about that.” She gently untangled her hand from the girls and went to her kit, removing several herbal packets and taking them to the tray. She uncovered the jug on it and sniffed the contents, grunting in approval.  She emptied part of three packets into one of the cups and added a full measure of wine to it, swirling it around to mix the herbs up.

Sniffing it again, she took an experimental swallow, judging its taste before she returned to the bed and sat down. “All right.” Xena slid an arm under the girl’s body and lifted her up. “C’mere. You need to drink this.”  She held the cup to Gabrielle’s  lips. “C’mon. You don’t want to make me mad, do ya?”

Unsteadily, Gabrielle reached for the cup, tipping it to her lips and sipping at it. “Wh.. what is it?” She asked, licking her lips.

“Blackberry wine.” Xena told her. “Like it?”

“Mm.” Gabrielle curled her hand around the cup. “Good.”

“That’s it.” Xena took the cup as it was finished, and set it on the table. She smiled slightly at the purplish stains on the girl’s lips. Her eyes were already fluttering closed from the herbs, and her body relaxed completely against Xena’s. “When you wake up, you’ll feel better. Promise.”

“Promise.” Gabrielle mumbled, resting her head against Xena’s shoulder.

For a little while, Xena sat there, absorbing the strange sensation of holding someone against her. Despite the pain in her back, it felt odd, and new to have this little scrap of a slave to care for, and Xena wanted to examine the sensation.

It was like having a pet, she finally decided. Like the small dog she’d picked up somewhere near Sparta, and kept with her an entire campaign until the damn thing got itself gored to death by a wild boar. She remembered being furious with herself for feeling bad about that.

She remembered being furious with herself for missing the stupid creature.

Xena looked down at the blond head nestled against her shoulder, and remembered her solemn vow to herself never to get attached to anything else ever again. It just wasn’t worth it, she’d told herself.

Was this worth it?

Xena’s troubled gaze drifted off across the room, watching the rain splatter against the windows.

**

Continued in Part 6

Shadows of the Soul

Part 6

It was very dark. Gabrielle pried her eyes open, woken by the pain in her head, to find it almost as lightless as it had been with her eyes closed. There was a tiny amount of grayish silver glow coming from the window, and an equally tiny amount of reddish glow from the fireplace.  She reckoned it was long after midnight, and as she listened, she could almost hear the silence of the stronghold settle around her.

The sheets around her and the clothes she was wearing had dried, and aside from the pain in her head, and chest – she was relatively comfortable.  Not surprising, Gabrielle. She reminded herself wryly. You’re in the queen’s bed.

Which brought another scary thought to mind. Where was the queen, whose bed it was?  Gabrielle listened again, hearing the faint pop of the log in the fireplace, and a soft rattle of the leaded panes of glass in the window and…

And someone else breathing. Uh oh. Gabrielle sucked in a nervous breath. The breathing was fairly close by.  Slowly, she turned her head to the left, squinting in the darkness to make out the vague profile of someone else sleeping in the bed next to her.

Well. Gabrielle swallowed. It wasn’t really unreasonable that Xena would be sleeping in her own bed, now would it? After all, it was a very big bed, and the queen was all the way on the other side of it, with plenty of space between them.  She studied the shadowy figure. Xena was sleeping on her stomach, one arm curled around a pillow, and the other resting on the bed’s surface. Gabrielle could see the curve of her cheekbone, and the slow rise and fall of the covers draped over her body.

The same covers Gabrielle was under. For some reason, just the thought made her warm, and a little, odd chill at the same time went down her back. She squirmed a bit, very cautiously, trying not to move or make a sound as she attempted to stretch her body out. Her legs felt stiff, and the bruises on her knees ached, along with the ones on her elbows. Her ribs were very tender, but all that paled before the pain in her scalp.

She slid her hand out from under the covers and touched the spot, feeling the bandage over it stiff with what she assumed was dried blood. The wound ached, but it was more a sharp, stabbing pain now instead of the tense throbbing it had been earlier.  Gabrielle closed her eyes and tried to relax, reasoning that she had plenty of time before dawn before she had to be up and….

And? Would Xena expect her to do her normal duties, even when she was injured? Xena had, Gabrielle noted. She’d gone to her courts, and done her tours, even though her back had been hurting her terribly.  Surely, she would expect the same of Gabrielle, right?  She considered the idea. Well, she’d prove to Xena that she was worthy of that. She’d get up and do what she had to do, no matter how she felt.

There.

Gabrielle exhaled, and wiggled her toes. Then she paused and wiggled them again, realizing they were bare. Hadn’t she worn her boots the day before? Curiously, she slid a hand down and touched her calf to be sure. No, the boots weren’t on her feet, that was for sure. She let her hand travel back up, settling it on her stomach with it’s partner.  If her boots were gone, where did they go? More importantly, who had taken them off?

Her head turned slightly, just enough for Xena’s sleeping profile to enter her peripheral vision. Had the queen? Gabrielle drummed her fingers on her stomach. Somehow, the thought of Xena taking off her boots was very…um..  well, on the other hand, Xena had carried her up to this room, and… She thought she remembered, vaguely, talking to Xena after that, but she wasn’t sure.

Be honest, Gabrielle. You’re not sure of a whole lot of things right now. Her conscience spoke quietly into the night. Get some rest. You’re probably going to need it.

Firmly, she closed her eyes and snuggled down a little bit more into the heavenly soft mattress. The goose down and silk comforter was light as a feather over her, and she resolved to make the most of this once in a lifetime chance. Tomorrow, she’d be back in her cot.

Sleep crept back up on her and she relaxed again into it.

**

For a change, Xena wasn’t really that thrilled to see the dawn. The faint, pale gray light hit her eyelids and she opened them reluctantly, easing her stiffened body into a slightly more comfortable position.  Just moving her arm sent a jolt through her, and she exhaled in serious annoyance.

Then her eyes dropped to examine the profile of the person sharing the bed with her.  Even in the dim light, the girl’s injuries were obvious, and Xena allowed that to take her mind of her own problems.  Bastard. She paused to revel in the memory of gutting the slave who’d hit the kid. He’d more than deserved it, and if she hadn’t been bothered by her injury she’d have taken her time and tortured him properly.

Cut the other hand off, maybe. Then his testicles. Maybe his tongue.. an ear..  Xena mused pleasantly.  Hm. Maybe I can do that to Bregos. Her spirits rose at the idea, and she stretched her body out again, this time pulling against the tight, painful spot on her back. She felt something pop, then grimaced as a warm wetness made it’s presence known at the place where the arrow had entered.

Well, that was one way to get the pus out. With a sigh, Xena slid out from under the covers and stood, observing her young bedmate for a moment before she turned and padded silently into the bathing chamber.  It was time to prepare anyway, and she could use the extra time the early start had given her.

She opened the stopper on the water trough, and watched the clear liquid fill the marble tub. She let the water run over her hand, glad of it’s comfortable temperature. She didn’t like her bath water heated, but she’d also grown out of enjoying ice cold streams much anymore.  Xena waited until the bath filled, then she stoppered the water and shucked her shift, stepping into the tub and kneeling.

Most in her position, she acknowledged, would have servants to wash them. She knew most of her nobles did. But Xena had spent too many years fighting in the field to be comfortable with that many people so close to her in such a vulnerable position.  And this bath, the bath before the battle, was an old superstition of hers and one she always did alone.  She picked up the soap resting in the carved soap dish and started scrubbing herself.

First her hands, and arms. She rinsed the suds off her wrists, and continued up over her forearms to her shoulders, still thick with muscle though lacking the tan she’d always had as a soldier.  Another rinse, then she scrubbed her torso, glancing down between her breasts to rub the soap over a belly she’d taken pains to keep flat, despite the cook’s indulgences and the distractions of her court. Her night sessions in the room upstairs had provided her with more than stress relief and she was fiercely proud of the fact that every piece of her armor still fit the way it had when she’d retired from the field, to rule the land.

She ran the soap down over her thighs, which were so heavy with muscle that if she’d been a little shorter, they’d have seemed ungainly. But they gave her power, a strength to balance the speed of her upper body and she scrubbed them with a sense of wry affection, tracing over a few of the scars that tracked over the skin. Now that she’d finished there, she sat down in the tub and slowly lowered her back and shoulders into the water, feeling the sharp sting as the liquid entered the hole in her back.

She washed her hair first, scrubbing its dark length then ducking under the water to rinse all the soap out of it. As she came up she twisted, and a jolt of pain made her hiss.

Damn. Xena attempted to reach around, but the wound was just in a place she couldn’t touch.  She cursed silently, then sighed and kept her shoulders underwater, hoping at least it would do the damn cut some good.

Her ears cocked, as she heard movement in the other room. Covers rustling, yes, and the sound of someone getting out from under them. She could hear the faint scuff of bare feet against the floor, then a soft hiss of pain. “Gabrielle.” She called out.

A pause. “Yes?” The timid response was half whispered, half spoken. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to.. um.. bother you. I’m just going to get cleaned up and..um..”

“Gabrielle, shut up and come in here.” Xena ordered.

Hesitant footsteps approached, then the doorway was filled with a short, scruffy blond woman with a battered face, and gentle green eyes. For some reason, the sight made Xena smile. “I need your help a minute. I thought I could do this, but I can’t reach that damn arrow wound.”

Gabrielle’s eyes went to the tub, then to her face, then to the tub again. A soft blush colored her fair skin. “Um.. okay.”  She walked across the floor, quickly circling Xena’s submerged form and keeping her gaze averted.

“How’s your head feel?” Xena asked her.

“Um.. “ Gabrielle took the soap Xena held out to her and very carefully started to wash around her wound. “It hurts.”

Xena put a wet hand up and touched the girl’s forehead, startling her. “Least you’re not raving out of your head anymore.”

The touch on her back stopped. “Was.. was I?” Gabrielle asked.

“Oh yeah. You were singing bawdy songs, making grabs at me.. you’re quite the wild thing in a fever, y’know.”

Gabrielle gasped. "B.. I.... "

"Heh." Xena chuckled. "Never thought you had that side in ya, Gabrielle "She turned her head casually and glanced up at the girl, who was brick red and very obviously mortified. "Hey.. I didn't say I minded!"

If anything, that made Gabrielle blush even darker, and at least it took Xena's attention off her back. "Better cut that out, or your head'll start bleeding."

"Sorry." Gabrielle whispered. "I.. um. I don't remember any of that."  She put her head down and concentrated on her task. "I didn't..." She let the words trail off lamely.

"Tch tch.." Xena relented. "Musta been some fever. How's my back look?"

The girl's hands stopped again. "Oh." She exhaled. "Wow."

"Is that good or bad?" Xena eyed her, glad the kid was turning a more normal shade of color. "Hey, you're not going to keel over, are you?"

Gabrielle wasn't entirely sure. She rested her hands on the edge of the tub and tried to recover her breath. Jus thinking about what she’d done…what she’d said… great gods.  How could she have? And more importantly, why had Xena put up with it? She could have been killed! Or worse!!!

“GABRIELLE!”

The voice made her jump and gasp. She blinked, bringing the queen back into focus. Xena was leaning an elbow on the tub, just watching her with those incredibly blue eyes. “Yes!”

“Relax, would ya?” Xena laughed.

Gabrielle sucked in a breath, immediately regretting it when her ribs protested vigorously. “Oh.” She held onto the tub, momentarily forgetting her embarrassing episode. “Ow.”

“Okay.” Xena told her. “Just relax. Stop losing your mind on me.”

After a minute, the pain faded, and she could stand upright again. Gabrielle dipped the cloth in the water, and resumed cleaning the wound on Xena’s back. It didn’t look very good. It was red around the edges, and it seemed swollen again. There was yellow pus seeping from the center, and she carefully rinsed that out. “It’s kind of nasty.” She told Xena.

“Feels like it.” Xena agreed. “Hopefully your head doesn’t look like that.”  She rested her head against her forearm. “Put pressure on it.”

“What?”

“Was that in Mycean dialect or something?” The queen asked, testily. “That nasty stuff’s gotta come out. Put pressure on either side.”

“Oh… that’s going to hurt.” Gabrielle protested.

“No, really?” Xena drawled. “Just do it.”

Gabrielle put the cloth down, pausing before she hesitantly put her fingers down on the angry red skin on either side of the opening. She could feel heat beneath touch, and as she put a slight pressure on it, she saw the flicker of motion as the muscles of Xena’s back flinched.

Her face didn’t twitch, though. Gabrielle noted. She watched Xena’s hand curl around the edge of the tub and tense as she waited. “You know something?” She said, as she carefully put pressure against the wound, watching the center erupt with nastiness.

“What?” Xena spoke in an even tone.

“You’re a really brave person.”  Gabrielle finished her task, noting that the swelling had now noticeably gone down.

Xena tilted her head and looked around at the girl. “You know something?”

Gabrielle paused, and looked shyly at her. “What?”

“You didn’t really act like a whore in heat last night.” The queen said.

“I didn’t?” Gabrielle blurted. “Really?”

Oh, it was so tempting. Xena observed those big green eyes gazing so openly at her. “No. I was joking.”

Gabrielle’s whole body slumped in reaction, relief written all across her. “Ah.” She sighed. “I’m glad. I didn’t want you think I was…um… anyway.”  She concentrated on the wound.

Xena watched her profile, seeing the tensing on either side of her lips of an unconscious smile.

Gabrielle rinsed the area again and again, until every speck of yellow was gone. “I think that’s it.”

“Good.” Xena put a hand on either side of the tub and stood, easing her body over the edge. She shook herself vigorously, sending a spray of water over the room and its other hapless occupant.

Gabrielle backed away, averting her eyes and looking around for something useful like… ah. “Here.” She handed Xena a neatly folded, pristine towel.  The queen accepted it and draped it over her body. Then she put a hand on Gabrielle’s chin and tilted her head to one side, easing the bandage off her head and examining it.

“I think you got off lucky, my little friend.” Xena ran a finger over the spot, which was closed, and seemed to be healing. “Wish I could say the same. Musta been something on that arrowhead.”  She turned and walked into the bedroom, pulling Gabrielle with her. “C’mon. We’ve got a long day ahead of us and I’m gonna need help getting into my gear.”

Gabrielle followed obediently, not that she really had much of a choice.

Or wanted much of a choice, she suddenly realized.  Confused at that, she found herself smiling for no real apparent reason.

She sighed. Maybe she just needed some breakfast.

**

They sat at the table in the outer chamber, sharing the contents of a tray delivered personally by Alaran stocked with sturdy plates full of hearty fare.  Outside, the sun was peeking over the edge of the window, sending a stripe of golden color splashing over them.

Gabrielle was sitting cross legged on one of the large, armed chairs, it’s surface somewhat dwarfing her. She had a new bandage on her head, and Xena had a new bandage on her back, and they were both listening to the security chief’s status report.

“So.” Alaran concluded. “The men are ready, my liege. The battlefield has been readied, and to all eyes, a grand day of games is afoot. Even the weather has brightened for it – it’s cold enough outside to make my armor comfortable.”

“Good.” Xena piled strips of meat and eggs on a fold of bread and took a bite of it. “Get them together in the barracks. After I dress, I want to talk to them.”

“Mistress.” Alaran nodded. “They would welcome that.”  His eyes shifted slightly, and took in Gabrielle’s interestedly watching eyes. “How are you faring, little one?”

Caught in mid mouthful, Gabrielle hastily swallowed.

“She’s fine.” Xena answered for her. “I’m going to take her with me today. She’ll be my squire.”

Me? Gabrielle was surprised, and almost forgot to wonder what, exactly, a squire was.

“Excellent, Majesty.” Alaran said. “It eases my mind to know you will have someone you trust close by.” He stood up. “I will go assemble the men. My spies tell me it was quiet on Bregos’ side last night, but his men seem very… confident.”

“Uh huh.” Xena popped a grape into her mouth. “Losers.”

Alaran smiled, saluted, and left.

Xena turned her head and regarded her tablemate. “Enough here for you?” She rested her elbows on the table, leaning her chin on her fists.

Gabrielle licked her lips in reflex, and swallowed. “Um.. yes, thanks.” She said. “It’s really good.”

Xena exhaled, lifting her head and rubbing her temples. “I’d normally agree with you.” She admitted. “But that arrow hole’s getting on my nerves and putting me off my feed.” She played with another grape. The wound was giving her a fever as well, she knew, from the slight chills going up and down her skin.

She picked up her cup of morning ale and took a large swallow, then put it down and determinedly took another bite of her eggs.

“Xena?”

She looked up. “Yeah?”

“Um.. why not just tell them to wait for another couple of days?”  Gabrielle asked. “You’re the queen, and all that.”

Ah. The queen and all that chewed on her makeshift sandwich, gazing out the window as she considered the question. “I could.” She said. “But there’s a huge storm brewing out there, Gabrielle. I can feel it.  If I wait… the storm might break at a time of it’s own choosing. I can’t have that. It has to be tamed to a time of my own choosing.. even if that’s personally uncomfortable to me at the moment.”

Gabrielle nibbled her egg covered muffin. “Oh.”

“So.” Xena finished her sandwich. “Today I cut Bregos ambitions off at the knees.” She drained her cup. “And tonight, we’ll celebrate.”  She got up and stretched, walking up and down the public chamber to limber up.

Celebrate meant Xena and her court, Gabrielle knew. Not people like her. But she agreed she’d be very happy if the queen got what she wanted, because it seemed safer that way for everyone. She didn’t trust Bregos at all – so far all of the people who were acting in his interests that she’d met had either insulted her or hit her. Not that Xena’s people had been much better, but after all, here she was sitting at table with the queen, eating biscuits and very good blackberry jam, and eggs with her.  “What does a squire do?” She asked.

“You done?” Xena asked her.

Gabrielle examined her empty plate, then looked up wryly to meet Xena’s eyes. “Yes.”

“C’mon. I’ll show you what a squire does.” Xena motioned to her, waiting for her to get up and join her at the door to the inner chamber before she continued on inside.

Xena walked to the chest against the wall and opened it. That same scent of oil and leather rose out and she paused, letting a tiny smile cross her face before she lifted the furs covering it’s contents and tossed them on the floor nearby.

Gabrielle knelt next to the chest and peered into it. A sense of intrigue tickled her skin as she watched Xena lift out various things and look at them.

First, a set of leather somethings. Gabrielle knew they were leather, but there were flaps and bits and pieces of them that escaped her understanding. Xena laid the leather something over the chair back and continued. Next, she removed her sword, in it’s sheath, and handed it to Gabrielle. “Put that on the table over there.”

Gabrielle took it, startled at it’s weight. She peered curiously at the brass hilt, and the leather wrapping before she set the weapon down on the table. She turned to find Xena holding the worn leather pouch she’d seen in there before, but the queen had an odd expression on her face. She crossed back over to Xena’s side. “What’s that?”

Xena untied the flap and opened it, revealing a glistening metal circle. She took hold of it and pulled it out, gazing at it with quiet reverence. It had a sharp edge, Gabrielle could see, and a pattern stamped in it on both sides. One side was also set with brilliant stones.

It was beautiful. “Wow.” She said. “That’s amazing. “

“Yes, it is.” Xena agreed softly.

“What is it?”

The queen’s eyes half closed. “It’s a chakram.” She replied. “It’s.. very special.”   After a moment, she put it back in the pouch and tied it closed, then handed it to Gabrielle. “Put that with the sword.”

Gabrielle did, aware of the weight resting in her hands as she set it down. She turned and hurried back, to find Xena lifting out metal somethings. Brass, she thought, plates with buckles and metal bits on them. Xena draped those over the chair too, along with more plates, and some other things.

She came back and stood by the chest, resting her hands on the edge of it. Breakfast had helped the feeling of queasiness and the headache she had, and now a subtle excitement was nudging her mind away from her own injuries.  She watched Xena lift a neatly folded linen garment up, then she backed a step as the queen closed the trunk lid and dropped the fabric on top of it.

“Right.” Xena put her hands on her hips and considered briefly. “First things first. Get me a new bandage, and a long strip of cloth.”

Gabrielle had that routine down already. She retrieved the requested items readily. As she brought them back, Xena pulled the robe down off her shoulders and dropped gracefully to one knee in front of her.

“Put the extra bandage over the cut, and wrap that long piece around me as many times as it’ll go, real tight.”

“Not change it?” Gabrielle asked. “The bandage, I mean?”

“No. I want it for padding.”

Gabrielle frowned, then her expression cleared as she realized what Xena was getting at. She folded the large square into a smaller one, and positioned it above the worst part of the injury. Then she set the end of the strip of linen on it, and hesitated.

Xena chuckled dryly, taking the end of the linen and passing it around her body before she handed it back over around the other side.

“Thanks.” Gabrielle accepted it and laid it carefully over the bandage. She wrapped the linen across Xena’s back and paused again.

“G’wan.” Xena looked over her shoulder at her. “I won’t bite you.”

With a tiny prickle of embarrassment, Gabrielle took a step closer and reached around Xena. “I know.. it’s just that I don’t really have long arms.” She explained. “So it’s kind of…”

Xena felt the warmth across her shoulders as the girl pressed up against them. She smirked. “Yeah, it is, isn’t it?” She remarked, as the linen drew taut around her chest.  She heard Gabrielle exhaled, a touch of unexpected heat as the girls’ breath brushed across the skin of her neck.  Okay. Her conscience booted her. Stop playing with the kid already, you old battle whore.

“There.” Gabrielle completed her task, and stepped back. “I think that will hold it.”

Xena stood and flexed her shoulders inside their new binding. “For a while.” She grunted. “Yeah.”  Blowing a bit of hair from her eyes, she studied her surroundings. Then she picked up the folded garment from the top of the chest and shucked her robe, exchanging it for the underlayer of her armor. “Okay, get me that.” She pointed.

Gabrielle went to the chair and got the leather something, and brought it over. It was supple, and though it had been in storage for an unknown time, the surface was well cared for and pliable. She handed it carefully to Xena. “What is that?”

Xena stepped into it and pulled it up. It slid over her body and settled into place, covering most of her torso. She adjusted the shoulder straps carefully. “Armor. Check the back, make sure it’s covering that spot.”

Gabrielle walked around and did so, tucking the edge of the linen bandage under the leather surface. “The top part just comes over where it is.”

Ouch. Xena felt the pressure, which was far less than comfortable. “So I feel.”  She took a deep breath, holding it as the pain increased, then leveled off.  Annoying, but she could handle it, she decided. She made a last few adjustments to the straps, then pointed. “Now that.”

Gabrielle walked to the metal somethings, and picked up the largest of them. She returned with it, studying the tall form in front of her as she did so. Already, Xena looked very different. The leather armor was dark and close fitting and it outlined her body very unlike the robes she commonly wore.

Xena settled the metal something over her head and let it drape over her chest. It was, Gabrielle realized, designed to protect her shoulders and chest in a fight.

“C’mere.” The queen glanced at her. “Buckle those straps under my arm.”

Gabrielle came closer, ducking her head sideways to study the catches. She took hold of them and ran the tongue through the buckle, pausing as she realized there were several holes. “How tight?”

“Second hole.” Xena muttered, working on a metal bit.

Second hole it was. It seemed a bit loose, but she wasn’t about to argue with Xena about it. Gabrielle went around to the other side and repeated the process, aware of the sharp tang of brass, and the rich, musky smell of the leather.

Her nose twitched. It was sort of like being around a saddled horse, except Xena herself smelled better. “Okay.”  She stepped back.

Xena shifted her shoulders and exhaled, as she pulled on a set of leather arm bands that fit over her biceps. As she settled them, Gabrielle noticed that the queen, in fact, had a pretty impressive set of biceps. It was an interesting observation, but short lived because the queen then added leather coverings for her lower arms which were laced. She held one out to Gabrielle. “Tie.”

Gabrielle did. She carefully tightened the leather laces, drawing the ends of the leather thing closed. “What are these?”

Xena glanced at her. “Bracers.” She replied, flexing her hands. The leather tensed around her, a once familiar sensation now feeling a little strange.  She sat down on the bed and pulled her boots on, buckling the heavy catches. “You try to protect the important parts of your body, or the parts that tend to get cut a lot.”

“Oh.”  Gabrielle watched as Xena pulled a set of metal somethings over her knees, and fastened them, then fastened another set of straps around her calves.  Then she stood back up and raised herself up on her toes, letting her body drop down in a soft, subtle rattling of metal and leather.

She lifted the sword, and let it drop behind her back, slipping it into catches designed to hold it. Then, last, she picked up the chakram and gazed at it, before she let it fall into an almost hidden hook at her hip.  She turned to face Gabrielle and indicated her body. “What d’you think?”

It was…  Gabrielle found the sight of the woman filling her senses, the casing of armor suddenly making an already larger than life figure immense. She felt tiny beside Xena, a little awed by the aura of power now shifting around her.

“Different than silk, huh?” Xena folded her arms.

“Um… wow. Yes.” Gabrielle inhaled. “You look really… um.. “

Xena spread her hands out, and raised both eyebrows.

“Heroic.” The girl finished, in a quiet voice.

Xena snorted.

“No.. really.” Gabrielle insisted. “I… well, one of the stories I used to tell back home was about this great warrior, who fought off all the giants, and defended all the helpless little people, and you look just like I thought that warrior would look.”

The queen gazed at her for a moment, then she reached out and grasped Gabrielle’s jaw firmly, tipping it up. “You listen to me.” She said, in a very serious voice. “I am no hero, little slave.”

Gabrielle’s fair lashes fluttered in startlement.

“I am a butcher.” Xena said, staring her right in the eye. “I have killed men for no better reason than that they annoyed me. I’ve torched villages. I’ve slaughtered women, and children, and I don’t lose any sleep at night over that. I would no more save some little person than I’d jump over the moon.”

The girl drew in a breath.

“I’m a killer, and a brutal person, and don’t you make the mistake of thinking otherwise.” Xena concluded. “Do you understand me, Gabrielle?”

Gabrielle’s shoulders shifted, and straightened. “I think I do.” She replied very softly. “And you may be all that.”

“May?” Xena barked.

“But my heart sees more than that in you.” The girl said. “You can tell me I’m wrong, but I don’t think I am.”

Slowly, Xena let her hand drop. Her instincts were demanding she back hand the kid across the room for the impertinence. She could, she knew. Gods knew, she’d done it to enough others. Her fingers flexed, in fact, and the muscles in her shoulder tensed, awaiting the explosion of violence.

Maybe even Gabrielle expected it.

Like a snake striking, she moved, pulling back her arm and swinging it right at the kid’s head.  The green eyes never faltered, never flinched, and when her motion stopped, and slowed, and went from a blow to a gentle caress, Xena was loathe to figure out which one of them was more surprised.  “You.” She let a fingertip rest on Gabrielle’s nose. “Are trouble.”

A very tiny smile appeared on the girl’s face.

“C’mon, Gabrielle. Let’s go watch men die, and give me a chance to get my sword bloody.” Xena went to her closet, and removed a stiffly brocaded silk gown from it. She slid the garment on over her armor, and fastened the catch.  Then she studied the girl. “You can’t go in that.”

Gabrielle blinked.

Xena went to the chest and raised it, leaning over and removing something from the inside. She glanced at the folded cloth for a moment, then turned and tossed it at Gabrielle. “Put that on.”  She turned and went into her bathing chamber, disappearing from view.

It only took a moment. Gabrielle slipped on the heavy black leggings, and the pale, creamy golden shirt, tucking it in before she tugged the heavy overtunic over her head.  It felt… very strange. The scent clinging to it was that same brass, that same leather that she’d smelled on Xena, but this was…

She twitched the overtunic straight and looked down at it. On the chest was a golden hawk’s head, with a baleful black eye.

Xena came back in and regarded her. “That’ll do.” She walked over and fastened the belt on the overtunic, drawing it close to Gabrielle’s body.

The girl ran her fingers over the hawk. “The men in the barracks had this… what does it mean?”

The queen ran a finger over her cheekbone, sending a not entirely unpleasant tingle down Gabrielle’s spine. “It means you’re mine.” She told her. “Are you, Gabrielle?”

Her heart was doing some very strange things in her chest. Gabrielle found she had to swallow a few times, before she could answer. She looked up into those blue eyes again. “I don’t know.” She answered, with as much honesty as she could. “I don’t know what that means.”

And, surprisingly, that made Xena smile. “Good answer.” She complimented the girl, giving her nose a tweak. “Let’s go.”

It was confusing. Gabrielle felt like she was back on one of the steep mountain paths back home, sliding down over a surface of moving pebbles only just keeping her balance as she rode the edge of disaster.

Scary.

But curiously thrilling.

Gabrielle ran her fingers through her hair, and followed Xena out the door, wondering what the day would bring to both of them.

**

They paused at the entrance to the stronghold. Gabrielle looked up, to see colorful banners strung over the long, stone promenade that lead down to the battlefield and realized for the first time just how huge the place was.

Hard to judge, when she’d seen such tiny bits of it.  The stone walls spread for leagues and leagues to either side, and on this side of the stronghold the main road lead down past the rolling fields they were going to use for the games towards clusters of townships in the distance.

Potadeia would have, she acknowledged sadly, fit into a tiny corner of the road.

They’d picked up a bodyguard of soldiers, spaced carefully on either side of Xena, and all of them proudly wearing the same tabard that she was wearing herself.  Gabrielle glanced to her left and right, eyeing the tall, burly men and.. she peered more closely. One of the soldiers was a woman, almost as tall as Xena was with a body so muscular she was almost indistinguishable from the men.

The weather was truly gorgeous. It was cool, and sunny, and as she looked ahead of her to the fields, she could see many people already gathered by the fields.  On one side, wooden scaffolds had been built, and seating for the important people. There were already well dressed bodies mingling on top of them, the perch giving them an excellent view of the fields.

On the road down, merchants were doing a brisk business in cider and road foods, and as Gabrielle took a deep breath, she caught a scent of nuts and cinnamon from the closest of them.  It was all bright, and happy, and yet….

And yet. Gabrielle wondered if it was because she knew about the struggles going on behind the scenes that she sensed a darkness in back of the gayity  Not from the merchants she passed, or the wandering commoners, but from the soldiers around her.

“Looks like a grand old party, doesn’t it?” Xena commented, in a low voice. She was nodding graciously at the bowing bodies on either side of them.

“It does.” Gabrielle murmured.

“People love a good bloodletting.” The queen said. “Give em enough of a show, and they forget their own frustrations for a while.”

Gabrielle paced along behind Xena, trying to keep up with her long strides. She was about to question the queen on her last statement, then she remembered winters in Potadeia. The long times, when they were stuck in their cots, trying their best not to freeze to death. Times had been very tense, and…

Tempers flared. The girl nodded quietly to herself. Maybe that was when her father’s control had gotten… but anyway, it had always been worse in winter. And, in the worst of times, the village headmen would get together and they’d organize the boys, and the men, into boxing or brawling and crown a village champion. The women would pool their talents, and resources and knit perhaps a cap, maybe a shirt if they had enough extra, to give to whoever won.

Everyone had been happy, watching the men scrap. Gabrielle remembered that clearly, remembered her pride when it had been her gift, her giving of a bone handled knife to the winner that last winter. She had found the old blade, painstakingly cleaned it, sharpened it, and fitted the handle taken from a thick thigh bone of a slaughtered sheep to it after her father had carved it to a man’s hand.

The man’s face had lit up, and he’d kissed her, just in pure happiness.

She’d felt so good.  Gabrielle let her eyes run over the huge crowds, more coming up the roads from the townships, and nodded again. Xena was right, she realized, only on a much grander scale than Gabrielle had ever contemplated, these being armies competing, instead of farmhands with bare fists.

But people were people.

“Hey.” Xena’s voice made her jump a bit. “What the Hades are you mumbling about?”

Gabrielle cleared her throat. “I’m sorry. I was just thinking.”

“Here we go again.” The queen rolled her eyes.

Was it only a few days ago, when that tone would have sent her reeling? Gabrielle exhaled, wondering at how far and fast it had all happened. Now a part of her understood that the teasing was just Xena’s way, poking and prodding at you to see what kind of reaction she could get.

It was a long walk down to the fields. Gabrielle’s head was aching, and she wondered how Xena felt, with all that jarring on her back. She snuck a look up at the queen’s face, and found it completely relaxed, with no apparent distress showing.  Xena was strolling along, apparently enjoying the accolades of the crowd without a care in the world.

They came even with the vendors, however, and Xena slowed, looking them over.

The baker looked back at her nervously. Xena stopped and regarded him with cool eyes. “Your majesty.. does the booth displease you?” The man asked timidly.

“Mm.” Xena shook her head. “I hate yellow and black. Bad choices.”

Gabrielle, in pure reflex, looked down at herself, then at the soldiers around them.  She glanced up at Xena.

“Tell you what. You can keep your head if you give my little Gabrielle here the biggest nut pastry you’ve got.”  Xena went in blithely. “And make it fast. I’ve got a battle to launch.”

The merchant shuffled through his wares and scurried over to them, bowing and cringing as he held out a wrapped bit of pastry. “My honor, your majesty! My honor!!!”

Xena examined the offering. “That’s the *best* you have?” She asked skeptically.

The man fell to his knees. “Majesty.”

“What do you think, Gabrielle?” The queen turned to her erstwhile silent shadow.  She casually rested her forearm on the girl’s shoulder.

Gabrielle was aware of all the eyes on her. She looked at the pastry, then at Xena. “Looks great to me.” She said, with a tiny shrug, aware also of Xena’s closeness and the relaxed hand near her chin.

“Ah.” Xena stroked her cheek lightly. “You’re too easy. All right. Get up.” She ordered the merchant.

The man scrambled up and handed the pastry to Gabrielle, evidently very relieved. “Thank you, Majesty.. thank you!”  He backed away to his booth and retreated behind it, reassured a little by it’s meager protection.

“Thanks.” Gabrielle smiled at him, accepting the nice smelling treat. She glanced at Xena. “Thanks.” She repeated, in a softer voice.

Did those blue eyes really twinkle?

“I get the first piece.” Xena responded. “So hurry up and break it off.”

Fair enough. Gabrielle complied, tearing off a nice sized chunk of the flaky pastry, covered in a  drizzle of honey, nuts, and cinnamon. She held it out to Xena, then almost swallowed her own tongue when instead of taking it in her hand, the queen ducked her head forward and took it from her fingers, giving the tips of them a tiny lick as she removed the pastry.

“Mm.” The queen made an approving noise. “Not bad.” She straightened up and put her arm around Gabrielle’s shoulders. “Can you eat and walk at the same time?”

Somewhere in the swirl of emotions running through her, Gabrielle found the self possession to nod.

“Good.”  Xena started walking, and the escort snapped to attention and kept pace with her.

All Gabrielle could feel was the warmth of the arm over her shoulders, and the body pressed against her on the left, and the tiny bolts of sensation that were still tingling down her fingers and through her arm. She walked along mechanically, listening to the unexpected thunder of her own heartbeat and wondered what on earth was going on inside her.

“You gonna eat that?” Xena inquired. “Or just wave it at the crowd?”

Gabrielle pulled off a piece and put it in her mouth.

“Listen.” Xena lowered her voice. “You are supposed to be my saucy little new love slave, so try not to blush every time I get near you, okay?”

Predictably, Gabrielle blushed.  Xena chuckled, then her voice trailed off into a sigh.  Gabrielle felt a slight bit more weight shift onto her shoulders, and a quick look up caught a swiftly hidden wince twitching across Xena’s face.

Ah. It all started to make sense now. With a sense of relief, Gabrielle carefully juggled the pastry to her right hand, and casually put her left arm around Xena’s waist to provide her as much support as she could. She got a tweaking tug on her hair in response as Xena felt the pressure, and she exhaled, glad she’d figured it all out and picked the right thing to do.

She nibbled on the pastry as they walked along, catching the appraising glances of the people as their eyes went past Xena and settled on her. There was a mixture of pity and envy in them, an odd mixture, and occasionally outright disgust.  This from the older ones, the more prosperous ones, and Gabrielle reasoned that they probably didn’t like the idea of a slave consorting with their queen.

Oh well. That wasn’t her problem, and it wasn’t her choice.

As they got closer to the fields, the crowds increased, and Xena’s passing caused ever more chaos as nobles and commoners fought to catch her eye with deep bows, and extravagant obesciences.  At the start of the ramp up to the scaffolding, six soldiers stood guard, there to let through only the worthy.

They all dropped to a knee as Xena approached. Her honor guard split off and moved to either side of the ramp, turning and coming to attention.   Xena waved a hand casually at them as they started up the ramp, where Alaran was standing and waiting for them at the top of.

Gabrielle about finished her pastry on the way up, saving the last bit and offering it to Xena as they reached where the security chief was standing. The queen chuckled, and accepted it, again removing it neatly from Gabrielle’s fingers.

“Mistress.” Alaran gave them an indulgent look. “The men await, as you requested.”

“Good.” Xena swallowed her mouthful, and licked a pastry flake off her lips. “Let’s go.”  She removed her arm from around Gabrielle’s shoulders and twitched her gown straight, waiting for Alaran to walk before her and following him to a small platform off the main scaffolding.

Gabrielle followed, her shoulders feeling much lighter, and colder. The pastry had been very good, though, and the entire interlude seemed to have helped her headache. She walked along the wooden planking after Xena, easing between two sets of posts and down two crude steps to a small square area just above where the troops were assembling.

There were a great many men standing near the platform, hundreds of them all dressed in dark colored furs and armor, with weapons clutched in hands or strapped across backs. They wore helms, most battered from long use, and carried shields likewise marked.

Like her, all of them also wore tabards in black, with the gold hawk’s head on them. She saw the front rank of soldiers glance up at her, then look at Xena, apparently accepting her presence without question. It was a very odd feeling.

“Hello, boys.” Xena leaned against the wooden support holding the platform up.

A yell went up, at first formless, then recognizable as Xena’s name.  Gabrielle almost covered her ears in reflex it was so loud. She glanced past the gathered soldiers, to the other side of the platform where Bregos was meeting with his men. More than one had their head turned around watching.

“Beautiful day for fighting, isn’t it? Not like some of the times we had in the field.”  Xena said, to a response of wry chuckles, and a few yells. “Just wanted you to know I’ve got quite a few dinars riding on you lot today. You know I hate losing.”

“No chance, Gen’rl!”  One of the men in the front row yelled.

They were all watching Xena. Gabrielle took the time to watch all of them, seeing mostly rugged, mostly older faces, some with visible scars. These were seasoned warriors, and the look she saw in their eyes when they looked at the queen was, in her youthful and humble opinion, the real thing. These men admired Xena. The thought made Gabrielle feel a lot better, since she’d started almost to believe that no one in the place was on Xena’s side.

These guys were.

“Tell you what.” Xena called out to them. “Whoever wins the field in single combat… you’ll get a year’s ransom for it.”

Wild yells.

“And when you do win today.. you’ll all get something special for me.” Xena added. “So go out there and kick their asses!”

The men thrust their weapons into the air, and shouted. “Xena! Xena! Xena!!!”  So loudly, the wooden platform actually shook .  Xena lifted a hand in acknowledgement, then she turned and headed for the steps up to her seats.

Gabrielle joined her. “What are you going to give them if they win?” She asked curiously.

“You.” Xena replied. Then she looked down at her. “Just kidding.”

Got her again. Gabrielle exhaled.  She saw Bregos leaving his men, and walking up to join them on the very top platform which bore Xena’s throne, and was covered in thick carpet. The stands and the fields were filling, and there was humanity as far as her eye could see. As she climbed up after Xena, she could now also see the battlefield before them.

It was a rolling field, with hillocks scattered over it. There were wooden structures on either side, and fresh pits dug into the earth.

She could smell the dark soil, and the grass.  The wind was cool in her face, and the sun splashed over her shoulders to spill out over the field. Gabrielle shifted, and looked at Xena, who was standing next to her in front of the throne.

The queen’s eyes were on the battlefield. Her hands flexed into fists. For an unguarded moment, as the troops started moving out into the grass, a look of pained loss crossed her face.

It made Gabrielle wonder.

**

Xena settled into her throne, stifling a wince as the sword under her robe pressed against her arrow wound. The pain annoyed her far more than it’s physical discomfort, however, because it meant she couldn’t properly enjoy the day’s fighting and that frankly really pissed her off.

“Lovely day for it, eh, Majesty?” Brego was seated on a smaller chair next to her, his boots resting on the rich, thick carpet that had been laid over the wood surface. “Thought we’d have to slog it through mud, but the rains just stopped in good time.”

“I was looking forward to sitting here in the freezing rain.” Xena remarked. “Sunshine is so damn boring.” She crossed her ankles and laced her fingers together, reviewing the battleground idly.  Bregos men outnumbered hers, she knew, and she watched their well ordered maneuvering as they placed themselves across the field for the start of the battle.

Bregos looked over to where the ranks of the nobles were sitting, on comfortable padded benches with servants attending them. “Lot of dinars being passed.”

“I certainly hope so.”

He looked at her, not expecting the comment. “Some will surely end up being disappointed, Majesty.”

“Only if they bet wrong.” Xena chuckled, deep and low in her throat.

“Just so.” Bregos agreed softly, leaning back in his chair. His eyes fell on the quietly watching Gabrielle who was seated cross-legged at Xena’s feet. “A new member of your household, Majesty?”

Xena idly stroked Gabrielle’s fair hair, which was soft and somewhat silky in texture. “Something like that.” She agreed. “Gabrielle has proven herself a very charming and talented addition to my quarters.” Her attention shifted to Bregos, catching the cool, speculative look on his face.

“Unusual eyes.” The general commented. “Has she come to… misfortune? I see she is bruised, Majesty.”

The veiled accusation almost earned him an elbow that very well might have broken his jaw.  Instead, Xena merely chuckled again. “Stop by the gate.. “ She checked the sun overhead. “After lunch, perhaps.”

Gabrielle leaned her head against the queen’s chair, blinking a little in the bright sunlight.  Her ribs were tender and very sore, and her head still ached a little. The pressure of Xena’s fingers against her scalp was, however, curiously comforting.

Seeing Bregos at close quarters only confirmed her opinion about him. Gabrielle remembered a man, a merchant in Potadeia who had been a lot like him. Outwardly steadfast and jolly, a pillar of the community who was really stealing dinars from everyone and making tryst with other’s wives behind their backs.

Slimy.

She hoped Xena was very careful. She wished she could get to Toris, and tell him how wrong he was… how foolish the slaves were for putting their fragile hopes on this man.

A horn sounded.

“Here we go.” Xena remarked. She observed one of the battle squires trotting up towards her platform, holding a large, red square of fabric.  She stood up as he reached her, and accepted the flag, tapping him on the top of the head with it before she lifted her arms and the banner high.

The men on the field shouted.

Xena stood for a moment, aware of all the eyes on her, and also, aware of exactly how exposed she appeared to be. Any decent crossbowman near the edge of the field, or a longbowman a little further out could hit her.

It amused her to stand there, presenting a target, and seeing if anyone dared to take a shot. Behind her, she heard Bregos shift in his chair. Was he signaling someone?

Was he going to take a shot himself? Xena knew she had guards behind her, but anyone could be bought.

“Be careful, sir. There’s a bump there, in front of you.”

Xena heard Gabrielle’s voice, slightly louder than it needed to be, and she smiled grimly. Almost anyone.

“Thanks, girl.” Brego’s voice came back, annoyance tinging it. “Was just stretching out me knee.”

With a flourish, Xena dropped the flag down. Then she remained facing outward, watching the first ranks of the soldiers head towards each other, swarming through the pits before she backed the few steps to her chair, and sat down on it.

She looked to her right. Gabrielle was watching Bregos with as dangerous a look as her cute face could manage. Xena reached out and brushed her knuckles against the girls’ cheek. Gabrielle looked quickly up at her, and she winked, smiling slightly.

Alaran appeared on the platform, and walked over to kneel as her side. “Mistress…”

Xena looked over Gabrielle’s head at him. Her chief of security’s eyes went to Bregos’ profile, then returned to her face.  Xena smiled at him. Then she turned her head and her attention to the field. The front lines were charging towards each other in the first clash of the battle.

Without a word, Alaran rose and stepped behind her throne, resting one hand on the back of it as he settled into watchful stillness.

Gabrielle leaned her elbows on her knees, her heartbeat still rattling in her chest.  When Bregos had gotten up, and looked at Xena’s unprotected back, she’d felt sure he was going to do something to her. His face had been dark, and ugly, although he had no weapons in his hands.

And the look he’d given her when she’d called out. Gabrielle shivered.  She could almost feel the danger all around her.  As she looked down at the chaos of the battlefield, she wondered which place was really more hazardous.

It was hard to see what was really going on. Two lines of men were clashing right then, on horses. She could hear the screams of the animals, and the yells of the men, and as she watched, she saw the bright flash of sunlight on weapons.

Were they really trying to kill each other? She suddenly wondered. Was she about to see… oh gods. Gabrielle turned her head and leaned against the chair, feeling sick to her stomach. The image of the two men, one swinging a huge round weapon on a pole and hitting the other imprinted on her mind. The second man had been thrown to one side, and collapsed, limp on the ground.

“Hey.”  Xena gave her a tug on the ear.

Reluctantly, Gabrielle lifted her head and looked up at her. “Are they all going to die?” She whispered, gazing into Xena’s pale eyes. “For a game?”

“Die?” Xena’s eyebrows lifted, and she looked quickly at the field, then back at Gabrielle. “Those guys? Not unless they’re far more careless and stupid than they should be. The rule is to disable your opponent, not kill em. The men know the tricks. You get hit on the helm, you go down, stay down, that kinda thing. Why?”

Gabrielle let out a sigh of relief.

“Did you really think I’d let the entire army croak out there?” Xena seemed incredulous.

“I didn’t know what to think.” Gabrielle answered. “I’ve never seen anything like this before.”

“Ah.” The queen put a hand on her head and rotated it, forcing her to look at the field. “Lemme give you a clue. See those buildings?” She pointed at the structures.  “Six on each side. Each army’s gotta capture the ones of the other, and put their flag up on it. First side to capture the other’s points wins.”

“Oh.” Gabrielle now could see the entrenched men around each structure. The two big lines of troops in the front were struggling to gain ground, inching back and forth. “So… the people on the horses kind of make a hole, and then the other guys go through?”

“You got it.” Xena agreed. “Now watch. The front six guys over there, see how they’re forming up like that?” She said. “They’re gonna blow a gap in the line, and then those men behind them’ll go into that hole, and split to either side, coming at the enemy from behind.”

“Oh!” Gabrielle watched as the horses charged. The riders had long shields, and they smashed into the struggling men near the trenches, knocking aside some of the enemy riders and bowling over the men on foot. The breaching riders had big round things on sticks and as they went through, they bopped the enemy on the head with them, sending loud clangs over the battlefield. “But that must hurt!”

“Well, it is war.” Xena remarked. “Don’t worry. They like pain.”

“Damn  you! Watch them!” Bregos yelled suddenly, clutching the arms of his chair.

Xena chuckled. “You’ve lost the line, Bregos. Sloppy. Very sloppy.” She watched as a legion of foot soldiers poured through the gap, the riders holding open enough space for them to barrel through. They sectioned off as they did, half going one way and half going the other. They ran at top speed through the mud and attacked Brego’s line from behind. “Hah!”

“Fools.” Bregos teeth were grinding. Gabrielle could actually hear them from where she was. She studied the fighting soldiers, wincing as their weapons hit, sure that at least some of them were getting hurt in the process. Sure enough, Bregos’ captains sounded a horn, and the struggling fighters started to retreat towards the first of the fortified structures.

Xena’s plan, it seemed was working.  She watched the queen’s face as she grinned, her hands restlessly clenching and releasing on the arms of the chair. “Did you used to do this?” Gabrielle asked her.

Xena went still briefly, then glance at her. “Yeah.” She admitted. “A lot better than he does.” She indicated the fuming Bregos.  “Bregos! Your advance scouts – are they blind? Look at that!” She lifted her hand and pointed, to where a party of men disappeared under an ambush. “What farm did you find these sheep on?” She added derisively.

“Bloody Hades.” Bregos leaped to his feet. “Your pardon, Majesty. I must speak with my captains. They go far too softly on your men!!!” He strode to the edge of the platform and thundered down the steps, whisking aside his cape as he brushed past some of the seated nobility.

“Ah.” Xena leaned back. “Now it smells better up here, don’t you agree?”

“Mistress, have a care of his anger.” Alaran murmured. “He could instruct his men to disregard the battle rules.”

Xena nodded. “Go down and pass the word.” She told the security chief. “If Bregos’ jackasses draw mortal blood, all bets are off and they have my permission to get lethal on them.”

Alaran hesitated. “Majesty, you are very exposed here.” He protested softly. “And the guards…”

“Relax.” Xena gave him a shove towards the steps. “Gabrielle’ll protect me. G’wan.”

Reluctantly, Alaran left the platform, giving all the guards a hard look before he vanished down the steps.

It was quiet for a bit after he left, as they watched the battle progress. The men had settled in behind the first of Bregos fortifications, and Xena’s men were planning an attack.

“I don’t think I would really be able to protect you much.” Gabrielle said.

Xena laughed softly. “Alaran forgets I’m more than capable of protecting myself.” She said. “In fact, a lot of people seemed to have forgotten that.” The humorous tone faded and went darker. “I’m thirsty. Go over to that second level over there and get a skin from that vendor.” She told Gabrielle.

Gabrielle got up and straightened her black tunic, then she started for the edge of the platform. Halfway there she stopped, and turned. “Um..”

Xena flipped something towards her. “There. Though if you told him it was for me, you wouldn’t pay for it. Don’t tell him.”

Gabrielle caught the coin and tucked it into her fist as she continued on her way.  She scrambled down from the platform and spotted the vendor Xena had indicated, turned away from her watching the battle.  There were several other people milling around, and she could feel a sense of excitement starting to build as Xena’s men launched their attack.

“He’s letten em think they’ve got im.”

“Tricky, he is. He’ll sneak right round the back next.”

“No way the general’l let his boys lose this one. No way.”

Gabrielle tapped the wine vendor on the shoulder. “Excuse me.”

The man, who had said the last words, turned. “Eh? Wh.. ah!  Pardon m’lady!”  He looked around nervously. “Didn’t see you coming atall! Atall… what can I get for you?”

“One of those, please.” Gabrielle pointed at the wineskins hanging from his shoulder.

He unhooked one and handed it over. “There you go, m’lady. Two dinars, if you please.”

Gabrielle handed over the coin and waited patiently as he studied it with widened eyes. After a moment, he fumbled in his belt pouch and made her change, handing it back to her with shaking hands. She took the coins. “Thanks.”

“You.. let me know ifn’ the wine’s not t’your liking, m’lady.” The vendor blinked at her.

“Okay.” Gabrielle nodded, backing away a few steps before she turned and started back to the rough hewn stairway. She’d reached it and put out a hand to start climbing when she heard her name whispered urgently.

“Gabrielle!”

She stopped and looked around, then looked under the platform. She could see a pair of pale eyes looking back at her. “Toris?” She whispered back. “Is that you?”

“Shh.” Toris cautiously poked his head out from under the wooden supports. “I’m not supposed to be here. I came over to see if I could catch you before…”

“Before what?” Gabrielle eased to one side, and leaned against the supports, hiding him from casual view.

He looked dirty, tired, and desperate. “I can’t tell you anything.” He warned. “You’re too close to her, and I can’t risk her finding out.. more people might die.”

“More people?”

“Shh. Just listen to me. I need to know something, Gabrielle. I need to know if… if I come and ask you to do something, can I count on you to do it?”

“What is it?”

“I can’t tell you.”

Gabrielle looked at him. “Is it against her?”

He didn’t answer at once. “She killed your sister in front of your eyes, Gabrielle. Remember that. Remember her screaming. Remember that. Go to the gate and see what’s left of Malcom. Ask her what it felt like to cut his eyeballs out.”

Gabrielle stared at him, feeling a queasy clenching in her guts.

Toris grabbed her arm. “If I come and ask you, can I count on you, Gabrielle??” He asked, in a fierce tone.

After a frozen moment, Gabrielle’s hand covered his, and she looked intently into his eyes. “No.”

His face twitched, and he bared his teeth. “Then you’ll die with her, Gabrielle. You’ll die, just like your sister did.”

“Then I will.” Gabrielle replied. “I’ve come so close to death so often lately it doesn’t really matter much anymore. But you listen to me, Toris.” It was her turn to grab him, and she did. “You’re on the wrong side. It might be YOU who dies.”

He pulled free, and laughed, but it didn’t sound convincing. “Goodbye, Gabrielle. I’m sorry.” He gave her one last look, and ducked under a support, disappearing into the darkness below the platforms.

Gabrielle exhaled and clenched her shaking hands. She straightened and put a hand back up on the ladder, only to gasp as it was caught and held.

Alaran was standing there. He studied her for a moment, then he smiled. “Let me give you a hand up, little one.” He said. “And you can tell me all about your friend.”

“He’s not my friend.” Gabrielle whispered.

“No, he’s not.” The security chief agreed. “From your view. But from my view, he did you a great favor.” He started to climb, and waited for her to join him. “He answered the questions I had about whether such a charming young lady such as yourself who has taken care to get so very close to my Mistress might turn into a bed asp to bite her.”

Gabrielle felt herself pulled up the ladder and onto the upper platform. She looked across the wooden surface, to where Xena was seated in her throne, watching them.

“Mistress.” Alaran greeted her, as they walked over.

Gabrielle handed Xena both the wineskin and her change, and sat down on the carpet next to her, feeling sick and confused.

“Did they approach her?” Xena asked.

“Most certainly, Mistress.” Alaran said.

Gabrielle lifted her head and looked at Xena.

“And?”

Alaran sighed, but removed a belt pouch from his belt and handed it to her. “Mistress, I should know better than to wager against your judgement.”

“Yes, you should.” Xena lazily dropped the pouch on the carpet next to Gabrielle. “Satisfied now?”

Alaran ducked his head at her, then he turned as his name was called. A liveried man was at the edge of the platform, motioning at him with some urgency. “Pardon, Majesty.”

Xena flicked her fingers at him. She waited for Alaran to leave with the soldier before she turned and regarded Gabrielle. “Thanks.”

Totally out of her depth, Gabrielle could only look at her.

A loud roar went up. Xena stood and paced to the front of the platform, peering out over the field. She lifted a hand and let out her own yell, as a yellow and black banner went up over Bregos’ first structure. Then she turned and came back, taking her seat and leaning against the chair arm.

Gabrielle rubbed her temples. “That was all a trick?” She murmured. “Just to see if I…”

“No.” Xena cut her off. “Alaran was the one who needed proof. I didn’t.”

“Did you really cut someone’s eyes out?”

Xena sat back. “Yes, I did.” She said. “And I cut his hand off, and I gutted him and left him to die on the gates.”  She pulled the stopper out of the wineskin and took a sip. “I enjoyed doing it.”

Chilled, Gabrielle gazed out over the battlefield, where now the men were grouping around a second structure. She spotted Bregos entering the field, riding his horse. He shouted at his men, and rode towards the besieged structure. His troops spotted him and cheered, and a resounding cheer also went up from the watchers.

“Now he’ll give em a kick in the ass, and if he’s lucky, they’ll fight to a standstill and I’ll have to fight him to break the tie.” Xena remarked. “Or if he’s not, he’ll lose and I’ll offer to fight him to save his honor.” She said. “Either way, he’s mine.”

“What if his men win?”

“They won’t.” Xena told her. “He has more men, but I kept the smart ones.”

“What if he wins if you fight?”

“He won’t.” Xena whispered.

“But you’re hurt…”

“It doesn’t matter.” The queen gazed at the battlefield. “I can feel his life in my hands.”

Slowly, Gabrielle slumped against the throne. She’d made her choice, and in her heart she hoped it was the right one, no matter what happened out on that field, or…  She tipped her head back and looked up at Xena. The queen was watching her, sipping from the wineskin.  “Why did you thank me?”

“I hate losing.” Xena said. “Every time I’ve trusted someone up to now, I’ve lost.”  Her face twitched into a brief grin. “It was nice to win for a change.” She leaned over the throne arm and caught Gabrielle’s chin, drawing her face up and kissing her gently on the lips. “So thanks.”

And in that moment, Gabrielle found her heart and lost her soul. It happened quickly, between one breath and the next, and as Xena pulled away from her and their eyes met, all she could do was hope the gods weren’t laughing too hard at her.

Surely the Fates were.

**

Continued in Part 7

It wasn’t often she got caught that offguard. Xena blinked, feeling her breath catch in her throat.What have I just gotten into?  She found herself unable to break her gaze from Gabrielle’s and as she sat there, she seemed to go deeper and deeper into that wide open regard. Then the crowd noise broke in, and she regained control of what she was doing. She managed to ease her face into a wry grin, and gave Gabrielle’s nose a tweak, before she sat back in her throne and pretended to watch the fighting.

After a moment, though, she glanced back at Gabrielle. The girl had leaned her head against the throne again, and her hand was curled around the support, it’s thumb rubbing gently against the wood. Her eyes were open, but even Xena could see they were unfocused, and the barest hint of a smile was tensing the skin on either side of her mouth.

Xena took a deep breath and tried to steady her heartbeat. Her body’s very unexpected reaction to what she’d considered nothing more than an offhand gesture started and worried her. After all, Gabrielle was just a slave, just a…  Xena’s fingers twitched, half curling. Damn, she wanted to do it again.  Slave or no slave, she couldn’t brush off her attraction to the blond girl seated at her side much longer.  Her entire body was tingling with it, and of all the damned inconvenient times…

Damn it, Xena. Get your head on straight. She mental savaged herself. You’re in the middle of a fight for your damn throne! Forget about the damn kid!

Gabrielle chose that moment to lifted her head and rest her chin on the chair arm, her eyes shyly studying Xena’s face.  Xena looked back at her. “What?” She asked, wryly feeling the surrender that cascaded over her. “You’re not going to ask me why I did that, are you?”

Gabrielle shook her head.

“Will wonders never cease.”  Xena said.

“I.. um.” There was a distinctly husky note in Gabrielle’s voice that made Xena’s ears prick. “I thought it was all part of the act.” She paused. “Right?”

Xena rolled the thought over. Easy out. Good choice. Besides, she really wasn’t interested in a poor little peasant girl was she? From some backwater mud and wattle village on the back end of nowhere? Her eyes narrowed slightly, and she half smiled. “Did you like it?” She asked.

Gabrielle blinked. “What?”

Xena grasped one of her ears and examined it. “Did you like being kissed?” She asked. “Yes? No? Do I have to explain what that is? You only had experience with sheep before? What?”

The misty green eyes dropped for a few seconds, then lifted again. “Yes.” She uttered. “I did like it.”

“Good.” Xena leaned back and forced her attention to the field. She got up and paced to the front of the platform, shading her eyes as she watched the new fighting. Bregos had taken charge of his men, and they were fiercely defending the second structure. She calculated that he would retain it, and drive her men back, and she tipped her head back and regarded the sun with a slight frown.

She wanted it over, she realized. She wanted her men to do as they’d been told and battle him to a standstill, so she could go out there and settle the score between them, and get it all over with. Her back hurt, and the mechanations of everyone around her grated on nerves that felt raw and very sensitive at the moment.

On the other hand, she watched two of Bregos men leap over the structure, and land on several of hers in a bold and daring maneuver. On the other hand, going back to her quarters with cute little Gabrielle right at the moment probably wasn’t a good thing either. No matter how big a bastard she, Xena, was, she’d told the kid she didn’t rape slaves, and damn it, Gabrielle wasn’t going to be the first.

Ah. There. Xena watched her men start to retreat, as Brego’s troops howled in triumph. “Now we’re getting somewhere.”  She suddenly felt a presence at her back, and turned to find Gabrielle standing next to her, looking at the field. The wind blew her pale hair back, exposing the bandage on her head.  Dressed in her familiar colors, she seemed far less a child, and more the complex and damnably interesting person Xena had slowly been discovering.

“Oh!” Gabrielle inhaled. “Look!”

Xena did, seeing two soldiers, one of hers, and one of Bregos facing off in a furious battle near the front of the field. The crowd cheered, and surged closer, excitement rising in the air. This was no mock fight, the two were in deadly earnest and were going after each other with finely honed and drawn longswords. “Mm.”

“I thought you said it was all just a game?”

Xena found her lips twisting into a grim smile. “It’s never just a game, Gabrielle.”  She said. “You put enough boys with enough sharp things in a small space with egos flaring, and you’re gonna get blood.”

As though she’d known it would happen, her man let out a wild, brutal yell and hacked the arm off his opponent, sending  a spurt of blood outward in a spray. “Take it.. take it.. “ Xena muttered under her breath, ending in a soft hiss as the soldier took advantage of his reeling opponent and buried his blade into the man’s chest.

Bregos man fell heavily to the ground. Her man stepped on him, and pulled his weapon free, holding it up covered in a red slick.

Bregos army screamed in outrage. Xena’s man turned and pointed his sword at them. “That’s what a coward gets! He ran!”

“Good boy.” Xena said softly.

“You knew… he’d do that?” Gabrielle spoke in a raw whisper.

“I told him to do it.” The queen replied.

Bregos rode towards the man. His face was set with anger. But as he came closer Xena’s men closed ranks around the killer, and several of her horsemen rode to cut Bregos off.  “Get to business, general!” Xena yelled. “You’ve got a war on!”

Bregos whirled his mount to face her. “He spilled blood, Majesty!”

Xena held both hands out away from her in an elaborate shrug. “If a man ran in battle in my army, I’d hope his fellows would gut him, not wait for the enemy to do it.” She yelled back.  A soft tittering of laughter drifted over the field, and Bregos turned brick red.  The man wrenched  his horses head around and spurred him back towards the far structure, which Xena’s men had taken and now were preparing to hold against attack.

Gabrielle exhaled heavily and turned, looking back over the platform at the mountains behind them. “Is killing people really the answer?”

Xena looked at her. “The answer to what?”

“To everything?” The mist green eyes searched her face. “There has to be a better way.”

Xena cocked her head to one side and considered the concept. “Well if there is, I haven’t found it. Good luck.” She moved back and retrieved her wineskin from the back of her throne, leaning against the wooden chair while she sipped from it. “What do you think you can do to someone, short of killing them? Cut a few things off?” She asked. “I tried that. Just made em pissed off, and ended up I had to kill em anyway when they tried to jump me.”

Gabrielle sat back down on the carpet, clasping her arms around her upraised knees. “Can’t you…” She thought. “You could lock them up.”

“And that’s better? Ever seen the inside of a dungeon?” Xena chuckled.

Gabrielle looked up. “Have you?”

“Yes.” Xena nodded, no longer amused. “I spent time in one. I’d have rather died.”

“Mm.” The girl murmured.

“Mercy only gets you assassination attempts, Gabrielle.” Xena resumed her seat on the throne. “Mercy gets you scorn. Mercy gets you nowhere, because most of the people you kill don’t have anything else you can take from them that means anything.”

“Just their life.” Gabrielle said.

“Right.”

“Like me.” The girl whispered. “That’s all I have, so I guess maybe you’re right. What else could you take from me?”

Xena found a damned inconvenient and surprising lump in her throat. She hastily swallowed a mouthful of wine to rid herself of it. “You don’t count.” She answered brusquely. “No one’s gonna kill you, at least not as long as I’m around.”

Gabrielle got up, walked over to the throne, and sat down next to it. She studied her laced fingers for a bit, then looked up at Xena. “I hope you’re around for a really long time.”

“I bet you do.” Xena found herself smiling at her.  She handed over the skin. “Thirsty?”

“A little.” Gabrielle took the skin and sipped from it. “Thanks.” She swallowed. “Xena?”

“Yeess?” The queen rumbled.

“What would happen… if you didn’t do something, like…”

“Like kill that guy who hit you?” Xena easily guessed the question. “You’d continue to be a target, and in danger of having the same thing happen every time you left the tower, for you. For me – it would mean I backed down.. that I didn’t protect someone I took into my household. It would mean I’d gotten weak, and that means someone would come after me, to see if it meant they could kill me easily.”

“Mm.”

“There’s no way around it, Gabrielle.” Xena’s voice gentled slightly. “ You kill people to keep them from killing you, or killing people you…people that you’re responsible for. That’s all there is to it. It’s how nature works.”

“It’s not really fair.” Gabrielle said.

“Nature isn’t. Life isn’t.” The queen stated with utter certainty. “The strong live and breed, the weak lose and die.” She said. “I’m strong, and on top, and I intend to keep it that way, and if it takes killing anyone trying to take what’s mine, then I will. No regrets.”

Gabrielle took a final sip from the wineskin and handed it back. She looked directly at Xena, lifting her chin slightly as the queen’s eyebrows rose. “I guess I’m lucky then.”  She admitted. “That I’m yours, I mean.”

Xena didn’t ignore the prickle that went up her spine at the words. “Ahhh…. Decided that, huh?”

She nodded slightly. “Yes.”

“I said you were smart.” Xena brushed her fingers over Gabrielle’s cheek, not surprised to see the fair lashes flutter closed at the touch.

But a second later, they opened again, and Gabrielle met her gaze. “And..um… Xena?”

“Hm?”

“Nobody kisses sheep.”

Xena felt a chuckle erupt in pure reflex.

“I mean, I know you’ve probably heard stories, and sometimes the boys kinda get carried away… but there’s no kissing involved.” Gabrielle explained, a smile crinkling the skin around her eyes. “Really.”

“Uh huh.” She was delighted to find her little slave showing signs of a nascent sense of humor, something she’d seriously been wondering about. “Are you telling me you know about the birds and the bees, Gabrielle?” Her voice dropped again, softened with curiosity.

Blushing, Gabrielle shrugged a little, and grinned. “Something like that, yes.” She admitted. “Do you know how sheep mate?”

Xena cast an eye on the field, where Bregos troops were making an assault on his captured structure. “No.. how?” She asked, returning her gaze to the woman at her side.

“Baaadly.” Gabrielle stuttered, with an absolutely straight face.

Xena covered her eyes, shaking her head and chuckling. “I asked for that.” She peeked at Gabrielle. “New royal decree. No sheep jokes.”  She found her hand suddenly reaching out to touch the slave’s face again and paused, realizing with a sense of shock just how natural it was becoming for her to do that.

How much she wanted to do it.  Strange, because she’d never been much for touching people, even those she slept with beyond what was needed. Slowly, she let her hand return to the chair arm, feeling the unusual ache in her chest.

What was this? Seriously, Xena studied Gabrielle’s face, noting it’s innocence as the slave looked up at her. The ache grew, and she decided she didn’t much care what it was. Her hand lifted again and she ruffled Gabrielle’s hair with it, absorbing the sudden warmth the touch brought to her eyes.  It was a nice feeling, and Xena decided she liked it.

A roar came up from the battlefield, and she looked over, to see Bregos banner now rising over his captured structure.  Xena watched her lines reform, and a quiet tension started to coil in her guts knowing that soon it would be her turn to be out there, smelling grass, and dirt, and blood. And Bregos.

Her fingers sorted through silky hair.

She wished it was already over.

**

There was all kinds of things going on out on the field, and all around her. But Gabrielle was content to sit quietly, unmoving, absorbing the rhythmic touch on the back of her head.

There was so much emotion rolling around inside her, it was really hard to do anything but just sit there. She suspected if she tried to stand up, she’d fall over like a limp carrot top and end up right back where she started.

It was all just too much. A thousand questions were spinning in her head, and it was just too exhausting to try and figure out what was going on. It was easier to just lean against the throne, and breathe in Xena’s scent, and revel in the memories of a kiss and the comfort of a casual touch.

Oh, she knew it didn’t mean anything. Gabrielle exhaled softly. She was a slave, after all. She was just playing a part that Xena was enjoying fooling around with, and it all didn’t mean a thing to her.

But she’d never felt like this before. Even when she’d walked out with boys at home, it hadn’t been like this. Perdicus had kissed her the first time years back, and it hadn’t been like this. This was like standing inside a bright flame.. this was like being surrounded by rushing water.. this was like…

A sigh. Oh, Gabrielle, you idiot. Cut it out.  She gazed out over the field, watching the men run back and forth, attacking. Retreating. Mama always said… ‘Gabrielle, one day you’re going to fall in love, and that will be something, for sure.’  She edged a tiny bit closer to the wooden chair supports. Well, Mama.. you were right. I’m sorta glad you’re not here to see it, though.

Papa would be so ashamed of me.

But… this is real. Gabrielle acknowledged sadly. I didn’t ask for this to happen. I didn’t want it. Or maybe I did, but not… not like this. Not…when it doesn’t mean anything.

Surely, the Fates were laughing. Mocking her.

“Hey.”

Gabrielle lifted her head and rested her chin on the chair arm again, gazing up at the queen’s face. The blue eyes twinkled as she looked back, sending Gabrielle’s heart racing yet again.

“You and I.” Xena put a fingertip on her nose. “Need to talk later.”

Gabrielle blinked. “We do?”

“Yes, we do.” The queen said. “After we get done with this pedantic charade and I spend some time kicking ass.” She added. “We’ll talk about the birds and the bees.” A grin. “And sheep.” An eyebrow spiked. “And us.”  She ruffled Gabrielle’s hair, then she stood up and twitched her robe straight. “Let’s go.”

Gabrielle scrambled to her feet and followed the queen as she stalked to the edge of the platform. On the field, she could see the two sides faced off across the central trench again, it’s edges now widened and ragged with muddy gouges.  She paused behind Xena, as the queen braced herself and stood up to her full height, the wind brushing her long dark hair back and baring her angular profile.

Us? Gabrielle almost came close to simply walking off the platform. Did she really mean…

“Bregos!!!” Xena’s voice easily cut through the crowd. She spread her arms to either side, brushing Gabrielle’s chest with her right hand. “I didn’t come here to see a standoff!”

Gabrielle glanced around nervously. “You know..someone could shoot at you up here.”

“I know.” Xena replied quietly. “Don’t worry. I’ll catch the arrows if they do.”

“Really?”

“Majesty! I need time for my strategy to work!” Bregos shouted back, standing in his stirrups. ‘It is but midday!”

“You’re not going anywhere!” Xena bellowed back. Then she lowered her voice. “Really.”

“But.. how did they..” Gabrielle glanced in reflex at the queens’ back.

“Three men, three crossbows, three arrows.. “ Xena held up her hands and wiggled her fingers. “Two of these.”

“Ahh.”  Gabrielle exhaled in wonder. “Wow.”

“My men are toying with you!” Xena lifted her voice again. Her troops yelled back, shaking their swords at her.  Xena strolled towards the ladder. “C’mon, Gabrielle. It’s time to get down and dirty with the boys.”

“Um.. okay.” She followed Xena to the ladder, and kept close to her as she eased her way down and majestically made her way through the crowd.

Nobles bowed before her, and she swept past them without a glance, until she reached the front of the watchers, near the edge of the field. Here, the platform was only a few feet from the ground. Guards cleared out a spot for Xena, roughly tossing finely dressed men and women out of the way as the queen claimed a good sized area.

Here, Gabrielle could really smell the field, rich and pungent. She could see some of the soldiers, covered in mud and some in blood, dug in on either side of the trench. Men were lying on the ground near the edge of the field, some were moving, and some were not.

“Your problem is, Bregos.” Xena settled herself comfortably. “Your men are out of shape, out of luck, and out of position. You can’t take the trench from this side, because the angles against you, and we have the high ground.” She pointed.

Bregos’ whole face twitched. “Majesty, I do not see your forces doing any better.”

The crowd murmured. Some looked quickly at Xena. Some of the looks were not complimentary.

Xena noticed. Her hands flexed. She lifted an arm, and signaled.

With a wild yell, her troops exploded from the trench, and attacked. Bregos only barely scrambled back out of the way, and raced around the back of his lines, exhorting his men in a loud voice. They gave ground back a few feet, digging in against the attackers whom they still outnumbered.

One side of the line crumbled. Bregos spurred to the spot, hacking and slashing with his sword at the mass of struggling soldiers. One of Xena’s men slammed into his horse, and he whacked at the man, hitting him on the head and sending him to the ground in a splash of blood.

Gabrielle turned her head, and tried not to see or hear.

Bregos tried, but the a section of his men stumbled, and collapsed under the attack. They retreated back again.

Xena could hear the low grumble starting around her. She watched the carnage with a calm, disinterested eye.  Until she glanced down at her smaller companion, who was white as a sheet and shaking.

“Can’t you stop this?” Gabrielle whispered.

“No. But he can.” The queen put an arm around her shoulders. She lifted her other hand and signaled, and a reserve force poured through the hole in Bregos lines, forcing them back step by step.

He knew. Bregos broke away from the line he could no longer hold and rode over to face her. “Mistress!”

Xena let him wonder for a moment, then she put two fingers between her teeth and released a loud whistle. The battle paused, her men standing ready, weapons raised, but holding their ground. “Yeeess?”

“I am enjoying this immensely!” Bregos said.

“Me, too.” Xena agreed.

“But… we have lost good men today!” The general puffed himself up. “You are right. This stalemate must end!”

“Now that you’re losing? C’mere, shit for brains.” Xena muttered under her breath. “I should just shoot you.” She added, turning to one side as Alaran made his way hastily to her side. “Ah. There you are. Just in time for the show.”

“Majesty.. he knows.” Alaran whispered. “He knows of your injury!”

Gabrielle’s eyes narrowed as she regarded him, forgotten at Xena’s other hand.

“He’ll try.” Xena shoved him aside. “Well, Bregos?” She raised her voice. “Did you have a suggestion? My men are waiting.”

“Majesty!” Alaran hissed.

“There is no need to risk any more of my.. our precious soldiers!” Bregos shouted. “I will settle this myself! I offer, Majesty! I offer to stand for the honor of my men, in single combat, against a champion of your choosing!”

The crowd roared, responding to the noble gesture.  Bregos men chanted his name, visibly relieved.

“Majesty, let me fight him.” Alaran rasped. “Don’t fall into his trap!”

Xena held up her hand, and waited for silence. It wasn’t long in coming. She folded her hands at her waist. “All right.” She agreed. “Bregos, I accept your brave, generous, and noble offer to settle this question with your own… body.”

Visibly a little surprised at her words, Bregos, bowed nobly and gracefully in his saddle. “Majesty, you honor me beyond my worth.”

“Oh, you said it.” Xena uttered.

“I await your pleasure, Mistress. Name your champion, and we shall put our lives and our honors before yourself, and our noble populace.”

“Mistress!” Alaran actually tugged on her sleeve. “Please!”

Xena turned and faced him, her expression cold as ice. “Go.” She ordered. “This is my place.”

Alaran visibly bit off a response, jerking his body into a bow then backing off to stand near the guard, silently seething.

“Xena.” Gabrielle whispered.

“You want to fight Bregos too?” The queen turned to her, both eyebrows hiking up.

“Um.. “ The girl glanced past Xena. “Uh. .no, but.. only me and Alaran knew about your back. If Bregos knows…”

Xena gave her a resigned, almost sad look. “I said you were the only exception to the rule, didn’t I?” She squeezed Gabrielle’s shoulder and turned to face Bregos. “ You’re on, Bregos.”

He bowed. “Call out your champion, Mistress.”

Xena quietly unlatched the clasp on her silken robe and pulled it off. A wave of shocked rippled through the crowd as her armor and weapons were revealed and she straightened up to her full height.  “I told you.” She spoke into the silence. “I have no need of a personal champion.”

She let the echo of her words fade, then she turned and handed her robe to Gabrielle. “Hang onto this for me, would you?”

Gabrielle took it as though it were precious. “Be careful.” She said. “He’s creepy.”

Xena felt the eyes of the populace on her. She let her gaze travel lightly around the crowd, then she turned her eyes on Gabrielle. With studied deliberation, she inclined her head and gave into an impulse again, feeling Gabrielle lean forward to meet her as their lips touched. She made it last more than an instant this time, then she pulled back and winked at the slave. “There is no way I am not walking off that field first.”  She patted Gabrielle cheek, then she turned and stepped off the platform, landing on the ground without so much as a jar to her motion.

The soldiers eased back out of the lines as Xena approached, her long strides moving her smoothly over the rutted ground. She paused a few lengths from Bregos horse and faced him, letting her hands rest lightly on her thighs. “You going to come down here, or do I have to pull you off that damn nag?”  She felt her royal verneer slough away, and the pit fighter she’d grown up as started to surface.

He saw the difference. He slowly dismounted, slapping his horse on the rear and sending him off at a trot. The troops formed up around them, in a circle, one half hers, one half his, and a spectre entered the battlefield, it’s low laugh rattling the flags and standards that lined the grass.

Xena took a moment to look around. The entire field was surrounded by the populace, and the stands were packed to overflowing by more nobles than she’d realized she had in the kingdom. Eyes watched her. Hungry eyes, and she realized there were many in the crowd who didn’t want her to leave the field in one piece.  She was hated. She knew it.  The only security she had was the ring of men behind her.

And the only love to be found was standing on the sidelines, with a silk gown over her shoulders.

“Xena.” Bregos was close enough to speak low. “If I defeat you, I will have your hand and share that throne.”

Xena merely smiled. “If you defeat me, it’ll be vacant. It’s all yours.”

His face hardened. “So be it.” He drew his sword and swept it towards her in an exaggerated bow. “I humbly bow to my mistress’s wishes.” He spoke loudly. “And seek only to do her bidding.”

Xena centered herself. She took the pain racking her body and put it away, clearing her mind for the coming battle. She brought her body over it’s balance point, and drew her sword from it’s sheath, flipping it lazily over her hand to point backwards cradled in her arm. She crooked both index fingers. “C’mon.” She purred, ending the word on a chuckle. “Come and get me, you pompous excuse for a half rate butcher.”

And he did.

**

At first he thought to simply overpower her, using his height and weight to roll right over her and get the duel over in short order.  Xena had barely time to set herself before he attacked, his swift, competent strokes making it plain to her that he wasn’t going to pull any punches.  But that was all right, since she wasn’t either, and she deflected his initial strike and slipped neatly under his arm, booting him in the rear as she turned in one smooth motion.

Her men chuckled.

Xena wished she could chuckle. As much as she wanted dearly to enjoy this little tussle, her injury was ruining her fun and she knew she could only draw it out for so long before it started handicapping her in a dangerous way. She waited for Bregos to turn and follow her, and then she had to duck as he swiped viciously at her head. “Naughty boy.” She met his blade and turned it, throwing him back in the other direction and continuing her move into a graceful turn that put her weapon right in position to slash the front of his armor, cutting deeply into the metal links that covered his chest.

That cooled his temper. He took another tack, switching from brute force to finesse. He was a fine swordsman, and now he engaged her with skill and swift, cutting motions. Xena smiled. Much more to her liking. She entered into the dance with a sense of true enjoyment, meeting his attack and turning it, anticipating his motions and evading them, blocking his strokes and countering his every parry with one of her own.

She could sense the magic they were weaving. Even in young Gabrielle’s eyes, watching in fascination from the low platform.  Xena grinned fiercely, and went on the attack, mindful of that rapt attention. Battle fever was now erasing the pain, and she wrapped both hands around her sword hilt and whipped the blade in a tight matrix, sending sunlight rippling over the field as it caught the sword’s edge.

Bregos moved to block her and she took a step forward, then she crouched slightly and as he swept a roundhouse stroke at her, she uncoiled and exploded away from the ground, leaping almost her own height in the air and flipping into a forward roll as she slammed her own blade backwards, knocking his out of alignment and almost burying it’s point in the grass.

She twisted in mid air and landed, never even slowing as she just went with her momentum and lashed out with a perfectly placed kick, nailing him in the jaw.

He stumbled backwards, not quite off balance, but stunned.

Xena laughed, and twirled her sword in her hand. She stepped lightly forward and lashed out, almost taking the sword form his hands. He had to grab fast to keep hold of it, and now his face reddened with anger and shame. “You.” Xena cut in towards the field, a move he countered. “Are.” She reversed, and he countered, but she stopped almost in mid motion and chopped down and to the left, evading his blade and cutting him deeply in the thigh. “Out of your league.”

“You only think so.” Bregos gathered himself and came at her. He regained his grip on his sword and attacked furiously. “I am through playing.”

Gabrielle felt like her heart had taken up permanent residence in her throat. She clutched Xena’s gown, wrapped around her neck, as she watched the two fighters circle each other. It was hard to believe what she was seeing – this Xena was so different than the one she’d been getting sort of used to the past few days. She used her sword with such power, and such grace it was almost like watching a dance, only this dance was deadly.

When Xena jumped over Bregos’ and flipped in mid air, Gabrielle had almost squawked out loud. It had been amazing! She’d forgotten for a minute how serious the moment was as her eyes followed the lithe, muscular body in it’s agile flight.

Now, though, she was worried. Bregos was really going after Xena, smashing his bigger sword against her while he issued grunts that sounded very much like a big fat pig. He was trying to push her backwards, Gabrielle could see, but Xena was holding her ground, her legs braced against the uneven ground with muscles standing out under the skin in distinct relief as she met stroke after stroke.

Bregos aimed a blow at her right side, and Xena met it, her blade angled down as she stepped past Bregos and swiveled, keeping him in front of her as he also turned. He flipped his sword to his other hand and aimed – right at her injured shoulder.

Rather than take the blow, Xena dropped to one knee, then unexpectedly surged upward, wrapping her hands around her sword hilt and smashing it into his chest, shoving him backwards in a sheer display of brute strength.  He staggered and, as she caught her balance, he got his opening and jumped past her, turning and whacking her across the back as hard as he could.

Gabrielle could almost feel the dire pain herself. She saw Xena freeze in place, just for an instant, and she was even close enough to see those pale eyes flutter shut so quickly you almost thought you imagined it. But she knew she hadn’t, and her guts clenched, a low sound tearing from her throat in unconscious reaction.

And then Xena turned. Her body arched, and her head dropped forward slightly, and all amusement vanished from her. She fastened her eyes on Brego and stalked towards him, making no attempt to guard against his sword. Her own was clasped in her hand, and she twirled it as she moved, her momentum increasing as she zeroed in on him.

“Have you a problem, Majesty?” Bregos taunted her. “Not feeling well, perhaps?”  He lifted his sword and came at her, but didn’t barely have a chance to get the weapon even before she was on him, her attack so fast, and so hard it was almost too fast for the eye to follow. She slammed her blade against his as a low growl emerged from her throat, her weapon cutting through the steel he carried and twisting it in his hands. She yanked hard, and the sword flew from him.

He backed a step and tried to pull his dagger. Xena swiveled and swung at waist level, catching him across the forearm and shattering bone as she cut all the way through his arm.

He screamed in shock. Xena pulled the dagger from his half drawn scabbard and just kept moving as he backed away, underhanding the knife and striking, burying the blade deep into his groin.

He dropped to his knees, then crumpled at her feet. Without even pausing Xena kicked him onto his back and lifted her sword, flipping it and catching the hilt in her hands as she dropped the dagger and braced herself to spit him like a pig.

She took a breath, and that raised her head just enough for her eyes to focus beyond the shocked and staring soldiers to a pair of mist green eyes widened in horror that were fastened on her.

Xena looked down at the now helpless man at her feet. Blood was gushing from his groin, from his arm, and from the cut on his leg. He was writhing in agony. Cries of pain jerked from his throat almost like a child’s. The scent of blood rose to her senses, filling them. The kill was here, and she knew she should take it. This life was hers.

She looked at her sword, already stained with that same life.

Xena let her eyes sweep the crowd – most standing, many horrified, all waiting for her to kill him. They all knew she would, she could see it in their faces. In the faces of Brego’s men. In the faces of her own men. All of them knew.

Except for Gabrielle. Xena felt a strange sense of odd peace come over her, as she stepped back, and reversed her sword in her hand, letting it’s blade fall to rest on her shoulder.  She looked down at Bregos with a dispassionate expression. “Loser.”  She uttered, before she turned and faced the circle of men. First, she looked at Bregos captains. “Take him.” She pointed at the fallen general with her sword. “I’d start with a tornequet around the arm.”  She watched them stare at her. “MOVE IT!” She bellowed.

Two of them moved forward, very hesitantly. Xena ignored them, turning to her own men. They drew their weapons and raised them, and a chant started. Music to her ears. Her name. She lifted her own sword and acknowledged them, accepting the accolade.

Then she turned to the populace. There was no joy there. She knew most of them had bet with Bregos, banked on Bregos, and now… she could see the anger in the nobles faces.

Well, to Hades with all of them. She hadn’t told them to pick the wrong side. Her plan had worked, but not really gotten the result she’d expected. And her back was now shooting bolts of pain through her, where he’d struck her during the fight.

But her army clustered behind her, chanting her name, and faced with that armed force the populace joined in, until the field was shaking with the sound of her victory, buffeting her as she walked in stately dignity off the field towards the platform.

She stopped just before it, and raised her sword hand, with her weapon in it. “Our land is strong.” She called out. “Let our enemies… “ She paused deliberately, letting her eyes sweep over the nobles. “Take note.”

The tide turned, and the populace cheered her. Xena felt her spirits rising, as she walked back to the platform, to the blond haired girl waiting for her there. Savagely holding back the pain, she walked up the steps and stopped at the top, raising her sword again and turning, collecting the adulation.

Gabrielle looked up at her as she turned. “Are you okay?” The girl asked, in a low voice.

No. Xena exhaled, sheathing her sword and waving at the still shouting and cheering crowd, and her chanting fighters. “Oh, I feel like a pike’s been driven through my right shoulderblade, I’ve got a headache that would drop a stallion in rut, and I actually had to touch that man’s codpiece.” She got all that out through gritted teeth. “Never been better, Gabrielle. You?”

“I’m glad it’s over.”

“Over?” Xena smiled grimly. “For now. “ She waved a hand, acknowledging the crowd. “Begin the single combat!” She instructed loudly. “I have dinars to award!”

The soldiers cheered, hers wildly, Bregos very grudgingly, and the list masters now started to sort out the field.

“Do.. you want to go sit down?” Gabrielle whispered.

“No.” Xena recognized the lightheadedness. “I want to go lay down. Thank the gods I’m the queen, and I can do whatever the Hades I want.” She laid a casual arm over Gabrielle’s shoulders. “C’mon.” She raised her voice slightly for the crowd. “Let me teach you what battle lust’s all about, baby.”

Gabrielle saw the looks, and didn’t care. She carefully wrapped her arm around Xena’s waist, and walked with her off the field towards the tower, leaving the carnage behind.  “I’m glad you didn’t kill him.”

“I’m not.” Xena sighed aggrievedly.

“The crowd really wanted him to win.”

“I know.” The queen said.

“I think if you killed him, they’d have made him out as a hero.”

Xena looked down at her young companion, realizing she had a point. “He’s no hero.”

“No. But maybe they know that now.” Gabrielle said. “You’re the hero.”

“Don’t’ you start that.”

“Somebody has to be the hero.”

“Not me.”

**

They made it up to the queen’s quarters, where the cheers from the field only drifted in through the open windows. It was cool, and quiet in the chambers and Xena leaned gratefully against the wall as she undid the buckles on her armor.

She felt a touch on her other side, and looked down to see Gabrielle undoing the ones there, her brow creased in concentration. “So, what’dja think?”

“Think?” Gabrielle got the catch undone and looked up. “About what?”

“Figures.” The queen half grinned. “One time I want you to think, you don’t.” She remarked. “About the fight.”

“Oh.” Gabrielle frowned. “The big one with all the guys, or yours?”

“Mine.” Xena eased her armor off over her head, using her good arm. She laid it carefully on the top of the trunk. “I told you it’s always about me.”

“It was scary.” Gabrielle admitted.

“Scary.” Xena sat down on the trunk, extending her legs in front o her. “I didn’t think I was that rusty.”

Gabrielle knelt next to her and fumbled with the straps that held her leg armor on, working the unfamiliar buckles. “No.. I thought you were amazing. I was just afraid he was going t hurt you.”

“He did.” Xena admitted quietly. “Bastard knew exactly where, too.”

“I don’t think anyone realized.” The girl took off the armor plate and studied it curiously, then set it down next to the chest armor. “I think they thought you just got mad.”

The pain got to her. Xena eased forward and rested her elbows on her knees, burying her face in her hands for a long moment. The long days of fighting the agony were wearing on her – she realized she wasn’t used to living with the need to do that anymore and for a second it almost made her angry again.

Then a hand touched her arm, fingers curling around it as Gabrielle’s thumb rubbed against the inside of her forearm in wordless comfort.

She wasn’t used to that either.  When she’d been in the field with her army, healers didn’t waste time on bedside manner. Sometimes, they didn’t even waste time on talking. If you were lucky, they warned you before they started sewing your flesh.  Xena lifted her head and rested her chin against her fists. “How bad does it look?” She jerked her chin to indicate her back, not missing the intensity in the girl’s eyes as she watched her.

Gabrielle shifted her hand from Xena’s forearm to her shoulder and leaned past her to look. She sucked in a breath at the sight. “Oh, Xena.”

The queen’s brow puckered, and she grimaced. “Let me guess. That means you’re not complimenting my evenly spaced shoulderblades.”

“It..” Gabrielle winced herself. “I think when he hit you, the back part of that metal bit..”

“My armor.” Xena supplied.

“Cut into where you’re hurt.” Gabrielle leaned further. “It’s.. bleeding pretty badly.”  The edge of where Xena’s sword attached had been driven right into the already tortured hole in her back, splitting it open and adding a new gash just under it. Her leathers were covered in blood and it hurt Gabrielle just to look at it.

“Ah.” Xena let her head drop back into her hands, scrubbing her face. “That explains why it feels like it does.”  With a deep sigh, she got her feet under her and pushed herself up onto them. “Gods, I’m so damn tired of this.”  She trudged towards the bathing room. “If it’s bleeding that bad, you’re going to have to stitch it.”

Gabrielle had been following obediently. Now she stopped. “Stitch it? You mean you?”

Xena looked over her shoulder. One of her eyebrows lifted up to her hairline.

“Never mind. That was pretty stupid.” The girl shook her head. “It’s just that I’m not very good at sewing.”

Xena unlaced her leathers and pulled them loose gingerly, flinching as a bit of the cut hide pulled free from the gash in her back. “Get some water on that.”

Gabrielle went to the basin, and dunked a good size chunk of linen in it. Xena walked over and stood next to her, leaning on the marble topped counter. “So.”

“So?” Gabrielle carefully rinsed the newly ragged wound off.

“Tell me how amazing I was.” The queen said. “Take my mind off this, and the fact that I’ve got to go back out there later and celebrate with all those bastards.”

Gabrielle concentrated on her task for a moment. The damage to Xena’s back was now evident to her, once she’d washed the blood off, and she could see that aside from the new cut, the blow had also gone deeply into the old wound, breaking it open. Inside, there was some ugly stuff, and she washed it carefully. “I think it broke something open inside that first cut.”

“Yeah?” Xena didn’t sound upset, in fact, the queen turned her head and glanced at Gabrielle with interest. “Stuff coming out of there?”

Gabrielle nodded.

“Huh.” The queen snorted. “Stupid bastard may have done me a favor.” She said. “I thought there was something in there not healing. Usually doesn’t take as long as this.”

“You mean… that’s a good thing?”

Now it was Xena’s turn to nod. She leaned against the counter again, letting her mind run over the fight, remembering her moves, and reliving the high points and the low ones.  She thought the first part had gone pretty well. Bregos’ swordsmanship was decent, though it was no match for hers. They’d gotten some decent sparring in and then….

Why had Bregos gone for her back? Xena focused on the question, trying to shunt aside the increasing agony. Winning without exposing her weakness would have put him in a better light.. so was it just frustration? Or was it that he knew he was going to lose?

She thought she’d been so clever in setting up the general. What if… Xena half closed her eyes, reliving the strange, tense atmosphere around the field of battle.  Maybe he had planned on the same thing, only never expecting her to step out against him?

“Okay.” Gabrielle said, at last. “I think that’s it.”

With a frown, Xena straightened, then grabbed at the cabinet as a wave of lightheadedness almost sent her crashing to the floor.  Uh oh, not good. “Okay.” She regained control with a serious effort. “Time to get seriously herbal.”

Carefully, she released the marble top and gestured Gabrielle to walk before her, following the girl into the bedroom. “Okay.”  Xena glanced down at her mud covered boots, then at the silk sheets. A brief smirk crossed her face, then she eased her body down on the bed, sliding her hands forward and exhaling. “Bring that damn box over here.”

Gabrielle took the box from the desk and brought it over. “Got it.”

“Okay.” Xena said again. “That packet of white stuff. Pour it all in everything that’s open.”  She steadied her breathing, knowing what she was asking for.

“I thought it stung.”

“I thought I was the queen and gave the orders.”

Gabrielle laid a hand on the back of her neck. It felt nice, that touch. Xena closed her eyes and waited, hearing the rustling of the parchment. It’s good for you, Xena. It’s good for you. It’s good for you.. it’s.. son of a bacchae!!!!  She squeezed her eyes tightly shut and bit down, tasting blood inside her mouth as she cut into her lower lip. It was like someone had set fire to her flesh. Her hands tightened on the covers, balling into fists that clenched the fabric so hard the silk squeaked.  She held her breath, the muscles in her thighs twitching as her body reacted to the pain.

Gabrielle folded her hand around Xena’s clenched one, and watched, helpless, as the queen lay suffering. On her back, the white powder bubbled and hissed, seeming almost alive as it mixed with the seeping blood coming out of the wound.

At last, she felt Xena’s body relax. She looked down at the angular profile, and in the dusty sunlight saw just the traces of moisture on her lashes as her pale eyes opened.

“O..okay.” Xena’s voice was husky, and she cleared her throat.  “Bottom of the bag, there are some… bone needles. Thread.”

“Are you sure you want me to do this now?” Gabrielle put her hand in the bag and drew out the slim bits of bone, which tinkled softly in her palm.

“Gabrielle.. let me tell you something I learned the hard way.” Xena said. “If you’ve got to do something ugly, do it fast, and all at once. Don’t drag it out.” She took a deep breath. “Try and make small stitches. I hate uneven scars.”

Gabrielle put some of the gut thread through one of the needle eyes, and paused, studying Xena’s back. “This is kind of an awkward angle.” She murmured. “I can’t really… I should get it from the top side, and I..”

Xena painfully eased herself up onto her elbows. “Sit.” She indicated the bed, waiting for the slave to do so, rocking just slightly as the bed took the girl’s weight. “Face me.”  Gabrielle half turned. “Okay. How’s this?”  Xena eased forward and put her head down on her thigh, laying her arm over Gabrielle’s knees. “Better?”

“Perfect.” Gabrielle’s voice broke.

Despite the pain, it made Xena smile. “All right then, go ahead.”  She felt the first, tentative prick of the needle and sighed.

“You have a lot of scars back here.”

Memories flooded through her. “I know.” Xena said. “I learned all those fancy tricks the hard way.” She concentrated on keeping her breathing even. “I came from a village not that far from yours, y’know.”

“Really?”

“Really.” The queen murmured. “My mother was an innkeeper. Not a big inn, but it was all right to grow up in.”  She said. “Then one day a warlord rode through… didn’t like the looks of it, I guess. So he and his men tore the place down.”

“Oh…”

“Mother tried to stop them. Senseless.” Xena shook her head. “They cut her to pieces and threw her out into the road. My brothers and I ran off into the forest.”

Gabrielle fell silent. Even Xena’s voice had changed, growing deeper, and a little softer, and she wondered if the queen realized it. She tried to be as gentle as she could, putting aside the rush of emotions that were making her head whirl.

“We got separated. Me and Ly.. we scraped by for a while but he was so young… finally we got cross of a mean bastard named Cortese and he took both of us and threw us into a pit as bait for his fighting men.” Xena exhaled. “You either learned to fight or you died. I learned.”

It was horrific. Gabrielle couldn’t imagine going through that, and being just a child. “Did you escape?”

The queen laughed softly. “No.” She said. “I grew up and survived until I was good enough to get to Cortese. He was my first kill.” Her eyes blinked slowly. “I took over his army and the rest…”

“What about your brother? What happened to him?”

“My brother.” Xena murmured. “My only friend.”  She fell silent for a bit. “He lived long enough to see me take the throne here.” Her thumb moved slowly over the dark fabric of the leggings Gabrielle was wearing. “Then they figured out he was my weak point.”

Gabrielle closed her eyes and let her hands rest for a moment.

“They slit his throat, and left his body in the courtyard for me to find, that one, fine summer morning.”  Xena’s voice was calm, almost thoughtful. “I killed thirty two of them for it. Disembowled them and left them to die on stakes all up and down the main promenade.”

Helpless to even speak, Gabrielle bit her lower lip and watched as a tear rolled off her cheek to land on Xena’s shoulder.

“Poor Ly.” Xena whispered. “All he wanted was to be a soldier and wear my colors.” Her fingers plucked the dark fabric. “These are his. You’re about his size.”  She heard an odd sound and turned her head to look up.  Gabrielle’s eyes were closed, and tears were running down her face.  “Hey. Why are you crying?”

Gabrielle opened her eyes and took a shaky breath. “Because you won’t.”

Xena gazed at her for a long moment, then she put her head back down and exhaled in somber wonder. “Oh.”

Gabrielle put the needle down. She set the packet and the box aside, and then she very carefully put her arms around Xena’s shoulders and pulled her closer.

Xena felt the pressure and blinked, a little startled. “What are you doing?”

“Um..” Gabrielle sniffled. “Hugging you.”

It was… Xena could feel the warmth surrounding her in more than a physical way. It was soothing, and she found she liked it. “Ah. Learn something new every day around you, don’t I?”  She felt the motion as Gabrielle took a deep breath, her belly pressing against the back of her head. “Done back there?”

“Yes, I think so.” Gabrielle answered, with another sniffle. “It’s all closed.”

“Good.” Xena had, however, no inclination whatsoever to move. “I’ll just give it a minute to go from excruciatingly painful to just regular painful then we’ve got to get going back out there.”

“Okay.” Gabrielle whispered, sitting quietly and letting her hands rest on Xena’s upper arms. They both listened to the sounds coming in the window for a few minutes. Then she drew in a breath. “Xena?”

“Mm?” The queen had her eyes closed.

“I’d like to be your friend.”

One blue orb appeared and fixed itself on her face. “You’re not that stupid.”  Xena told her. “You don’t have a death wish, do you?”

“Yes, I am.”  Gabrielle smiled faintly. “And maybe I do.” She gazed steadily at the queen. “Will you let me?”

Xena focused on the sky beyond the window, knowing in the depths of her heart the decision had been taken from her already. There was no turning back from this.  The risk was taken, the dice was thrown, and it only remained to be discovered what price she had to pay for it.  What price Gabrielle would pay. She gave Gabrielle’s leg a gentle pat. “Already have. I don’t spend much time in my enemies’ laps.” She told the girl. “Though why you’d want a homicidal megalomaniac for a friend is beyond me.”

Gabrielle looked down at her with gentle green eyes. “Clueless virgin shepherds have to move up in the world somehow.”

Xena found a grin somewhere. “You know what, Gabrielle?” She closed her eyes and relaxed. “You’re growing on me.”

Silence fell again, as Gabrielle watched the queens’ breathing even out and slow. She felt as if  her entire world was, once again, changing before her eyes.

This time, though, it was for the better. “Likewise.” She whispered, finding her own smile, down deep, lighting up a part of her that was all brand new. “Likewise.”

**

Xena slept for a while. Gabrielle had leaned back against the bed’s richly carved headboard and thought she might have dozed off as well, since the sun had changed it’s slant visibly when she looked over at the window.

She felt better for it. Her head had stopped aching, and the discomfort she’d been feeling around her ribs had also eased.  Gabrielle stifled a yawn and idly looked down at her hand, which had somehow tangled it’s fingers into Xena’s hair. She rubbed a tiny bit of it between her thumb and index finger, finding that it had a thick, strong texture.

That made sense. Gabrielle reasoned. Everything else about Xena was strong, so why should her hair be any different? It was a deep, glossy black, and she decided that it was pretty and she liked it. Not that her opinion really mattered, she smiled ruefully. She didn’t think Xena much paid attention to anyone’s opinion other than her own, and if she woke up one morning and decided she wanted green hair, well then she’d just color it green as grass and have done with it.

She tried to imagine Xena with green hair, but it just made her giggle.  The darkness suited her, and made the paleness of her eyes just that much more striking.  She’d left it loose during the fight, and when she was moving, it swirled around her head and seemed to float in the air.

The fight. Gabrielle studied the queen’s profile, relaxed in sleep. She had been nervous during the fight, but in a way it had been sort of exciting too. Xena moved with such power and grace, it was just so amazing to watch you almost forgot it was a deadly contest. She had clearly outclassed Bregos – even Gabrielle, who had never seen a sword fight before could tell that.

Or maybe she was just biased. Gabrielle took a  moment to acknowledge the powerful attraction she felt for Xena and admitted to herself that she probably was under the influence of a pretty significant crush. It was a little embarrassing, but it also felt good to be filled with something other than fear and despair.

Part of her tried to keep reminding her that she was a slave, and of little consequence. But it was very hard for the rest of her to accept that idea with Xena’s head pillowed in her lap and the woman’s arm draped over her.  Did she really matter to Xena? Gabrielle thought she did, though she wasn’t really sure to what degree.

Xena mattered to her. Not only because she controlled Gabrielle’s existence at the moment either. Against all odds she found herself really liking the queen, even though she usually swung from scaring the life out of her, to embarrassing her beyond speech, to…

Gabrielle pursed her lips wryly, remembering how those kisses had felt. But she felt that had been part of their act for the crowd, just pretending to make her seem like what the entire stronghold apparently assumed she was.

Oh well.

Just then, she very nearly levitated off the bed as a slow, teasing touch on the inside of her thigh set every nerve in her body jangling. “Yike!”  She bit off the yelp of surprise.

“Ticklish?” Xena inquired, with a soft chuckle.

Gabrielle found her tongue, which had wandered off somewhere as her senses woke rapidly very up. “Um…a little, yes.”

Slowly, the queen stretched her body out, muscles rippling visibly under the soft skin as she moved. She lifted her head and half rolled onto her side, flexing her hands as she glanced towards the window. Her eyebrow lifted at the angle of the sun. “Looks like we missed some of the party.” She commented. “Good thing I’m the queen, so I won’t have to have us whipped for it, huh?”

Gabrielle muffled a laugh. “How’s your back?”

Xena considered the question, flexing her arm slightly. It hurt. Ares on Olympus it hurt, but for the first time since she’d been shot that feeling of deep, inner unease was gone, the unhealthy throbbing with it to be replaced by just ordinary agony.  “Not bad.” She reported, as she sat up in bed and regarded her long legs, sprawled out across the sheets. She should go out and take center stage at the festival, she knew.

Trouble was, she really didn’t want to. There were a number of things, in fact, that she would have chosen to do instead, most of them involving food, wine, and naked bodies.

However.

With a nearly silent sigh, Xena pushed herself off the bed and stood up, feeling much the better for her little nap. She walked to her wardrobe and studied it. Beautiful garments hung mutely before her, thick with embroidery and in some cases dripping with golden threads and lace.

Gabrielle quietly joined her, standing by as she watched the queen decide what to wear. “This is really pretty.” She murmured, lifting a hand to touch the sleeve of a shimmering gown of soft, draping fabric.

“Think so?” Xena eyed her.

The girl nodded. “What else happens for today? Is it just the fights?”

Xena studied the gown critically. Then she unhooked it and tossed it casually at Gabrielle, landing it on top of her head and watching in some amusement as she untangled herself from it. “It’s not just the fighting.” She picked out a different garment for herself.  “There’ll be acts, and singing, all that artistic frivolity.”

Gabrielle frowned, looking at the dress in her hands then up at Xena. “Did you want to do something with this?” She asked, in a hesitant voice.

“Yes.” Xena draped her own choice over a nearby chair. “I wanted to see you in it.” She rested her hand on the doorsill into the bathing room. “I’m finally going to be able to sit down at one of these stupid things and have someone with more than a thimbleful of brains to talk to. Get a move on.”

She disappeared.

Gabrielle simply stood there briefly, feeling the weight of the incredibly soft fabric draped over her arms. “Oh.” She finally said to the thin air. “Thank you.”   With a slight shake of her head she walked over to the old chest and set the dress down, then slipped out of her black and gold livery and laid it on the chest with gentle reverence.

Adjusting her underwraps a trifle, she took a breath, then eased the slinky dress around her body and tied it into place.  She sneaked a look in the mirror, biting her lip as she surveyed the result. “Hm.”  She blinked at herself, surprised at the unexpectedly sleek look.  “You know what, Gabrielle? You’ve got more dinars on your back right now than the whole of Potadeia ever had in an entire season.”

She fiddled with the knot at her shoulder, which held the gown up while baring a good portion of her back and shoulders. She thought about how much Lila would have loved to wear something like this. After a moment, she reluctantly met the green eyes in the mirror gazing steadily at her, feeling a moment of quiet grief.

I should miss them more. I should think about them more. Her conscience chided her.They’re gone, and I’m here laughing and enjoying myself. That’s so wrong.

She studied her reflection. Isn’t it?

There was absolutely no sound of warning, but her eyes tipped up slightly and suddenly found Xena’s piercing blue ones looking back at her in the mirror. “Oh. Um.. “

The queen took hold of her shoulders and turned her around so they were face to face. “You know.” Xena remarked. “This thing doesn’t look nearly as bad as you apparently think it does by that expression.”

Gabrielle managed a brief smile. “Um.. no, it wasn’t that. I was just…” She paused.

“Let me guess. Thinking.” Xena said. “What was it this time?”

The queen was dressed in a beautiful gown, with fanciful dragons embroidered down the length of it. The dragon’s tails twined, and formed into a belt that tied neatly around her waist.  Gabrielle took a moment to appreciate it before she decided on her answer. “Nothing really. I’m just going through so  many changes so fast lately…it’s hard to keep up with what I’m supposed to be feeling.”

Xena twitched a bit of the shimmering fabric draped over her. “Don’t try.” She advised. “Just live with the moment you’re in.” A nod. “I like it. Damn thing comes up to here on me and scandalizes the nobles.” She patted her upper thigh.  “Besides, exposing my back’s a damn bad idea right now.”

Gabrielle looked down to her knees, which the dress almost covered.  She thought about what Xena said, and realized that in the situation she was in nothing else really made sense. “I guess being short has it’s points sometimes.” She looked up. “But won’t my wearing this scandalize them anyway?”

“Not really.” Xena let her wrists rest lightly on Gabrielle’s bare shoulders. “They expect me to dress my consorts in appropriate clothing. I don’t usually bring them out in kitchen rags.”

Gabrielle became acutely aware of the power of the queen’s presence, as she absorbed the meaning of her words. Consort? That was for the public view, she was sure.

Wasn’t she?

“Okay.”  She exhaled, feeling her hands flex a little in response to her body’s tension.

Xena cocked her head to one side. “That crowd scaring you?”

“No.” Gabrielle said.

“Being in here scaring you?”

Gabrielle frowned a little. “No… “

“So what is scaring you?” The queen asked. “Me?”

A breath. “I’m not scared.”

Xena leaned forward and kissed her, this time with a slow, relaxed intensity somehow very different from before. She cupped Gabrielle’s face with one hand, and let the other drift down across her back, pulling them closer together.

Gabrielle didn’t even have time to think about what to do. Her body reacted to the touch, and an erotic surge sent a tingling over the entire surface of her skin.

Xena paused and pulled her head back a little, gazing at her with half closed eyes. “Scared now?”  She studied the darkened green orbs facing her.

Gabrielle felt out of breath. She just shook her head no.

“Ahh.” The queen smiled. “I thought you didn’t have that oppressed slave being forced to do this for show reaction out there. So you really did like it, huh?”

Still speechless, Gabrielle nodded shyly.

“Gabrielle, despite the old wive’s tales, it doesn’t put hair on your palms or make you mute.” Xena told her. “But apparently it does make you blush.”

She could feel the heat, as she finally caught her breath. “Yes.. well, I um…I didn’t think you’d do that and I… I guess when I get surprised I.. um…”

“Turn red as a winter apple.”

“Yes.” Gabrielle finally got up the guts to look into Xena’s eyes.  The depths apparent in them, visible to her for the first time, surprised her. It was like a door had opened, and she could see past the dark, icy façade, just a little.  They were still close together, and she could feel the warmth of Xena’s body through the thin fabric covering her.

Xena lifted her hand and ran her fingertips across Gabrielle’s jawline,

“I…” Gabrielle gathered her courage. “Thought you were just trying to dupe the crowd.”

The queen smiled. “I never do anything just for someone else’s benefit.” She uttered, her voice deepening. “If I kill someone... it’s because I want to.” Her thumb stopped and brushed against Gabrielle’s lower lip. “And if I kiss someone, it’s because I really want to.”

Gabrielle literally felt her heart stop. Certainly her breathing did, before it resumed with a soft gasp.

“So that’s why I said we have to talk.” Xena concluded, giving her nose a tweak. “And we do, after this damn thing is over with and I get Bregos’ insurrection settled.” She stepped back and regarded her young slave approvingly. “Let’s go. If I stay away too long, talk’ll start again and I don’t need any more complications.”

She walked over to the long, marble dresser and picked up the silver comb on it, then she turned and handed it to Gabrielle. “Mind doing that for me? Lifting my arm up that high is a pain in the ass and other places at the moment.”

Mind? Gabrielle almost tripped as she forced her body to move and took the comb from Xena’s hand, and carefully began to comb the long, dark locks out as Xena perched on the edge of the chest. It gave her space to think about what had just happened to her.

After a few seconds, though, Gabrielle realized that it would take her half a lifetime to think about what had just happened to her. So she put it all aside and just enjoyed the feel of Xena’s hair against her hands, and the lingering tingle over her skin and the warm, sweet knowledge that the emotions stirring inside her were not hers alone.

Xena sat quietly. The pain from her back was getting worse, to the point where it was hard for her to put it aside. Her little interaction with Gabrielle had taken her mind off it for a short while, but now it was creeping into her immediate consciousness.

She wished she could just crawl back into bed and take Gabrielle with her. The urge to leave the tension and chaos of the festival outside and explore this new, interesting and increasingly absorbing distraction who happened to be combing her hair at the moment was almost enough to overwhelm her discipline to duty.

But.

She had asses to kick, and plots to destroy.  Adorably blushing blond slaves would just have to wait until after the bloodletting.  With a mildly aggrieved sigh, she got to her feet and took the comb from Gabrielle’s hand. Taking one look at the tousled blond hair, Xena produced a brief smile and then ran the silver tines through it.

It was only much later, long after they’d left the tower and descended down to the festival when the realization hit her of just what exactly she’d done.

And by then, she was beginning to understand why.

**

Gabrielle followed Xena and the guard they picked up the moment they left the tower back down to the festival grounds.  From the top of the road, she could see riders, people on horses dashing around, and the excited yells of the crowd. She noticed that Xena’s men seemed to be everywhere, the black and yellow tunics conspicuous around the viewing platforms, but Bregos men seemed to have dissolved into the mists.

She found herself uncharitably smirking.   As they approached, she also noticed that the nobles, who had given Xena polite obeisance’s earlier, now were much more fawning and heralded her approach with far more ceremony.  Two of the dukes even knelt, and offered to escort her up to her high viewing spot.  Would Xena let them? Gabrielle thought it might be a good idea, just to get everyone to be nicer and calmer after the morning. Even if she knew, and Xena knew, and all these people knew that they had hoped she would lose and she hadn’t and now they had to deal with her again – still, she thought maybe Xena would get more out of it if she didn’t seem to hold a grudge.

“Oh, now that I didn’t get my ass kicked, you want to be friends again?” Xena’s voice carried out over the sounds of the field.

Ah well. Gabrielle wrinkled her nose in reaction. So much for that idea.

“Mistress, how can you say such a thing? We were all counting on your victory!” The duke protested. “No one expected any different! Why, we thought it was terrible that the general even agreed to fight! Horrible! He got *just* what he deserved!”

“Yes, Mistress! Exactly!”  Several of the other nobles had clustered close to him.

Xena regarded all of them with a chilly gaze.

Gabrielle edged up on her left hand side, folding her hands diffidently and catching Xena’s eye. “Your majesty… “ She watched the dark eyebrows hike. “There was a lot of… um.. consternation during the fight.” She paused. “I could.. hear it.”

“Oh, really.” Xena picked up the message without much difficulty. “Well, doesn’t that just warm the cockles of my often disputed as to it’s existence heart.”

“Yes, my liege.” Gabrielle murmured, not missing the twinkle in those very blue eyes.  She also didn’t miss the sudden, rapt attention of the nobles, fastening on her with all the force of a bag full of leeches.

“All right.” Xena relented. “Let’s go. I want to see the races.”  She proceeded up the steps, with Gabrielle trotting after her. The nobles followed meekly, and they all made their way up onto the top platform where Xena’s throne was. The queen stalked regally to it, turned and sat, her gown whisking around and settling around her with an audible rustle. She placed her hands neatly on the chair arms and watched them all as they approached her.

Gabrielle picked a spot and went to sit down at Xena’s feet, surprised when the queen wagged a finger at her.

Xena pointed at a guard. “Bring that. Put it here.” She indicated a plush seat, which the soldier immediately retrieved and set down next to the throne. “Sit.” She watched as Gabrielle obeyed, smoothing the soft, supple fabric draped over her knees.  The sun, past it’s highest point and headed towards the horizon, splashed over her and caught in her blond hair. After a brief pause, the girl looked up at her. “Consternation?”

Gabrielle blinked innocently at her. “Well, there was.” She murmured softly.

“That I was winning.” Xena leaned on the chair arm and whispered back.

“Would rubbing their noses in it help?” Gabrielle asked.

“It would help me feel better.” The queen sighed, leaning back in her chair, but not enough to press her injured skin against the padding. “And I did tell you it’s always about me, didn’t I?”

“Yes, you did.” Gabrielle agreed. She watched the nobles settle themselves in the seats around Xena, and a puff of air brought the scent of grilling meat to her nose. She noticed the noble’s servants heading off towards the source of the smell, and she got up. “Would you like some…”

“Yes.” Xena seemed amused. “And a jug of the strongest wine you can find.” She gave Gabrielle a pat on the hip. “Be careful.” She added, in a lower tone. “They may seem like toads, but they’ve got lots of nasty warts.”  She watched Gabrielle as she caught up to the other servants, and joined them. They were wary of her, Xena could tell, but after a few minutes of whatever chatter the blond girl was offering, their body language relaxed.

Duke Lastay got up the guts to take what had been Bregos’ chair right next to her. Xena turned her head and regarded him, acknowledging that of all her dukes, Lastay was the least offensive to her. He wasn’t bad looking either. “I am very disappointed.” She told him.

“Majesty.” Lastay leaned closer to her, a brave move considering the circumstances. “It is not all what it seems. I tried to warn you.”

Yes, Xena fairly admitted. That was true. He had, indeed.

“The man had just gotten too big for his conscience.” The duke told her. “He made many promises.”

“Mm.” Xena watched the flashing colors as four men raced on horseback across the field, now cleared of it’s trenches and obstacles. “I should have killed him.”  Her voice conveyed true regret. “He was an idiot.”

“But a fine soldier.” Lastay said. “And, Majesty, I spoke with him when he first arrived her. He truly thought he would be well received by you. Your spurning him was a terrible blow.”

Xena turned her head and looked at him. “Are you saying this is all my fault because I didn’t let the bastard into my bed?” Her voice rose.

“Mistress! Please!” The duke uttered. “Your will is your own, all know that.”

Xena rolled her eyes. “Lastay, after I get through this idiotic festival, I will have heads on pikes up and down the river road when I find out who was backing Bregos in this. Spread *that* to your cohorts.” She bit off the last few words, spitting them out like nails. “Consider yourself lucky that you *did* try to warn me, and I remember it.”

Lastay’s hands clenched on the chair arms, but he nodded. “Mistress, I understand.” He murmured. “I will make sure your will is known.”

And scare the crap out of everyone dressed in silk and velvet. They’d be cleaning up the gowns for days. Xena released a contented grunt, and laced her fingers together. “So. How your wife?”

“Majesty?”

“Your wife.” Xena admired one of the horses, a tall, springy bay with a dark mane and tail. “She’s not with you, I noticed.”

Lastay relaxed a trifle. “Ah.. she’s home, Majesty. We’ve just found she’s with child.” He smiled in reflex.

“Yeah?” Xena eyed him. “Yours?”

**

The servers near the meat roasting pits weren’t quite ready, so Gabrielle found herself waiting with the small group of noble’s attendants some slight distance from it.

“So, you’re the queens’ new… companion.”

Gabrielle returned the brief smile of the short, muscular woman next to her. “Yes, I am.” She agreed quietly. “My name’s Gabrielle.” She held a hand out.

After a moment’s hesitation, the woman returned her grip. “Alavaria. I am Duke Lastay’s personal body servant.” She told her. “This is Banren.” Her companion nodded warily at Gabrielle. “He serves Duke Sigland.”

This was, Gabrielle realized, a whole different hierarchy of slaves than the lower kitchens. “Nice to meet you.” She replied politely. The servants with her were all dressed very well, in the livery of their masters, or in equally fine clothes. They reminded her a little of Stanislaus, in the way they held themselves aloof, as though wanting to be regarded as more than the slaves they all truly were.

“Our queen is always known for her expeditious decisions.” Banren said. His voice was thick, and pretentious. “You came in on the slave train just the last week, did you not?”

Gabrielle was aware of the listening crowd. “That’s right.” She agreed.

“Quite a first experience.” Alavaria murmured. “A difficult position, I’m sure.”

“Well.” Gabrielle had an audience, and she wasn’t going to waste it. “I thought the same thing, at first. But I was wrong. The queen has been very gracious, and more than kind to me. I think I’m very lucky.”

They all just stared at her as though she’d grown a second head and it had popped out under her arm and started to sing.

“Ladies, gentlemen, we’re ready now.” The kitchen steward joined them, clasping his hands in anxious tension. “Please, let us help you.”

For a moment, no one moved. Then they all looked at Gabrielle, evidently waiting for her to go first.

It was then that she realized exactly what Xena’s casual acknowledgement of her had done. It had put her on the top of the heap, as Xena’s body servant, she took precedence over all the other slaves in the kingdom.  She’d gone from the very bottom, to the very top,  and these people around her weren’t very happy about it.  Gabrielle cleared her throat and edged past Alaveria, mindful of Xena’s warning about toads.

The kitchen steward bowed before her and lead her to the tables where various trays of edibles were positioned. “What is the queen’s pleasure this day, m’lady?”

“Sides from ‘er?”

Gabrielle’s ear just caught the comment. She glanced up and looked behind the tables, but no one would meet her eyes. She recognized a few of them, but there was no sign of any of her fellow slave train captives. With a slight shake of her head, she concentrated on picking out Xena’s lunch. There were whole roasts, and sliced meats. She pointed out a couple of each, and added a fresh loaf of thick bread with honey butter to the tray. “Some of the long beans, please.” She let her eyes wander over the choices. “And a bowl of fruit.”

The tables had been decorated with flowers, picked from the fields that leant a rich, pungent scent to the air. On impulse, Gabrielle selected several of the prettiest, and laid them on the tray before she picked it up. “Is there…” She paused, as a tall man dressed in court livery approached, giving her a slight bow.

“I am the castle vintner, m’lady.’ The man spoke in a soft voice. “Does the queen wish a good wine with her meal?”

“Yes, please.” Gabrielle watched as he went to a chest, and selected a bottle. “Would you like to bring that up?” She asked, seeing the bottle was sealed.

With a very pleased smile, the man nodded and bowed. He tucked the bottle under his arm and followed her as she made her way back to the steps. “May I carry that for you, m’lady” He offered. “It looks heavy.”

It was, and not easy to climb up the steep steps with. Gabrielle relinquished the tray, with a warm smile. “Thank you.”  She was a little surprised at the offer, but she put it down to yet more people wanting to ingratiate themselves with Xena and followed him up to the upper level.

There, she found that metal stands had been set into the platform, spaced to receive the trays. The vintner set the tray down on the ones closest to Xena and stood, bowing first to her, then turning and kneeling before the queen. “Your majesty.”

Xena motioned him to stand and approach.

Gabrielle didn’t miss the quick glance in her direction, though, and the smirk. She returned the smile, then knelt by the tray and got busy making sense of the contents. Around her, she heard the other servants coming back doing the same thing, and a quick look found Alavaria on one side of her, and the more portly Banren on the other. They watched her, and she could sense the jealousy inherent in the stares.

It reminded her a little of the women’s circle back in Potadeia. One of the back rooms of the common inn was used for it, and in the winter months all the women would meet there and work on sewing, knitting, the little crafts that held their poor homes together. At the table, there had always been a hierarchy, where the wives of the most powerful men, the reeve, the blacksmith, the successful merchants.. had sat at the top of the table, nearest the fire.  The less important you were, the colder your seat was.

Gabrielle looked up at the chairs placed on the platform, with Xena in her center throne with the best view.  People were, she mused, really just people, weren’t they? She arranged a plate for Xena and picked it up, balancing it on one hand. Then she picked up something else on the tray and stood, walking over to where the queen was seated.

Xena had just finished getting a glass of wine from the vintner, and was swirling the rich, red liquid in her cup as she watched Gabrielle approach.  The vintner had turned aside to speak with Lastay, and Gabrielle had a clear shot at her as she walked up and as gracefully as she was able, knelt and offered up the plate.

Xena took it, with a droll grin.  She set the plate on the small wooden table perched next to her throne, and winked at her.

Then Gabrielle lifted her other hand and offered Xena the flower she had in it.

With a very startled blink, and one sharply hiked brow, Xena reached out and took it, studying the colorful blossom in bemused amazement. Gabrielle merely waited, watching subtle shifts of emotion cross the queen’s face.  She figured either Xena was going to accept the thing, or chuck it at her, and she smiled when the queen chose the former and lifted to her nose to sniff it’s fragrance.

Then she reached out and tapped Gabrielle lightly on the head with the flower. “Go get your lunch.”

Gabrielle did, returning to the tray and selecting what she wanted from it. When she finished and turned to resume her seat at the queen’s side, she found Xena once against studying the blossom with curious eyes, twirling it in the fingers of one hand, as she sipped from her wine goblet.

She tucked her feet under her and was glad of the sun warming her back. The breeze had kicked up again, cool and fluttering the banners, and she nibbled a bit of meat as she watched two men charge at each other on horseback. Her eyes widened as they jumped up onto their saddles, and widened even more as they leaped on passing each other, landing on the opposite horse and somehow managing to hang on. “Wow!”  She blurted, glancing up at Xena. “That was amazing!”

Xena was leaning her chin on her hand, with the blossom still in it, a faint smile tugging at her lips. “Sure was.” She agreed. “Got all sorts of amazing things going on here today, don’t we?”

“Do we?” Gabrielle asked, caught in that regard.

“Mmhm.”  The queen turned her head and looked out across the fields, and the crowd, and the waving banners. “We certainly do.”

**

Continued in Part 8

Shadows of the Soul

Part 8

The sun was setting, bathing the field in blues and grays by the time the contests were finished. The air had grown cool, and Gabrielle rubbed her bare arms as she watched the final race end, a horse with purple and yellow colors coming in ahead of all of the others. The horse was apparently Duke Lastay’s, if his sudden exultant yell was any indication.  Gabrielle watched the rider pull up, his fist lifting in the air as he rode in front of them.

It was a pretty horse, too. It was gold, with a pale mane and tail, and it held it’s head up high. Gabrielle turned and looked up at Xena. The queen was watching the horse too, with a pensive, almost sad look. “I guess you can’t win all the time.” The blond woman murmured.

Xena exhaled slowly. “He deserved the win. That’s a good animal.” She leaned on the arm of her chair, closer to Gabrielle. “Comes from good stock.”

Gabrielle studied the horse. “It’s so pretty.”

“She.”

Gabrielle turned and looked at the queen’s profile. “Do you know that horse?”

“I knew her mother.”

In all the short time she’d known Xena, it was the most emotion Gabrielle had ever heard in her voice. More even than when she’d spoken of her brother.  But she didn’t get a chance to find out about it because at that moment horns started to blow.  She winced. Xena winced even more strongly, as one of the horns went far out of tune. “Ow.”

“Yeah.” The queen pushed herself to her feet.  “Time to take the party inside.” She loosened her belt, tucking her flower under it and tightening it again. The nobles rose around her and bowed hastily as her guard formed up around her. “Come on, Gabrielle.” She extended a hand out.

After a moments hesitation, the blond woman stepped forward and joined her, shyly taking hold of the long fingered hand that curled around hers. It was so unexpected, and warmer than she’d anticipated, but Gabrielle didn’t stop to ponder it for more than a second. She was pulled into the circle of guards to Xena’s side and was happy to remain there as they started down the steps.

“Majesty!” Lastay hurried over. “Majesty, did you see my mare?”

Xena stopped and regarded him over the heads of the guards. “I saw. Nice race.” She stated. “I’ll present prizes at dinner court. Make sure all the winners show up.” She put a hand on Gabrielle’s back and started walking again, leaving the nobles behind. As they reached the lower platform, Stanislaus caught up with them.

Gabrielle was a little surprised. She hadn’t seen the seneschal for a long time, and she’d half expected to find that Xena had banished him somewhere for his plot to get rid of her. He was wary in approaching the queen, she noticed, but Xena didn’t seem surprised to find him there.

“Mistress.”

“Yes?” Xena replied. “The banquet’s prepared?”

“Yes, Mistress, it is.” The seneschal told her. “As you requested.”

“Good.”  Xena said. “I’m going to change and get this damn dust off me.” She eyed Stanislaus. “I want everything I need by my throne by the time I get there, or I’ll start rolling heads.”

“Mistress.” The man bowed.

“And make sure everyone shows up.” Xena growled.

Stanislaus bowed even more deeply, and turned, disappearing down another set of steps faster than you could think his name.

Gabrielle wondered if the queens’ back was bothering her a lot. Experimentally, she eased closer. Xena draped an arm over her shoulders and pulled her over, leaning subtly against her as they walked along. Pleased she’d guessed right, Gabrielle carefully supported her around her waist, blissfully grateful for the warmth as the evening wind blew against them.  Seeing the glances of the guards, and the nobles trailing after them she knew what their thoughts were.

For some reason, it didn’t bother her now. Gabrielle wondered if she didn’t even want what they were thinking to be true.

“Mistress, a moment with you.” Alaran appeared from nowhere.

“What?” Xena’s short temper was very evident in her voice. Even Gabrielle, who’d only known the woman a short time, heard it clearly.

The security chief entered the ring of guards and took up a position on Xena’s other side. “I have just come from the healer’s.”  He kept his voice very low. “Mistress, it’s Bregos.”

Xena looked at him. “Dead?”

“No.”

“Bummer.” The queen sighed.

“Mistress, he’s gone.” Alaran told her softly. “He has been taken from the infirmary. No one…” He paused, looking significantly at her. “Saw him taken out.”  His dark face was grim. “And his men are keeping to their barracks.”

Xena considered the news thoughtfully.  “Can we get someone in there?”

“It would be difficult.” Alaran admitted. “Most of my men are known to them.” He pinched his lower lip. “But perhaps. I can try.”  He looked at her. “His men feel he was tricked into challenging you.”

“He was.” The queen said in a mild tone. “It’s not my fault he was stupid enough to fall for it.”

“Mistress, I want to put guards in the tower.” Alaran said. “I don’t trust any of this. My nape hairs are up.” His voice was very serious. “No one questions your abilities. I never have, and after today, none should. But it does not pay to take such chances.”

Xena was quiet for a few steps. “Okay.” She answered. “It’s not a bad idea. Just make sure it’s men you trust, Alaran.” A pause. “Or those you really don’t like, and don’t mind seeing dead if they twitch the wrong way around me.”

The security chief grunted, and the faintest of smiles appeared on his face. “Mistress, your humor is, as ever, appreciated.”

“My humor, as ever, is twisted like a grapevine.” Xena replied. “Keep an eye on the frillies as well, Alaran. I let it be known I wasn’t pleased with the betting this morning.”  She told him. “I figured you were bored.”

Alaran sighed. “Yes, Mistress.”  He glanced at her, then his eyes met Gabrielle’s. “Little one, I will make sure the guards know to give you every courtesy.”

“Thanks.” Gabrielle murmured.

“Or I’ll cut their tongues out.” Xena added helpfully.  “Put a few extra people on the banquet tonight. I want to hear what’s being thrown around.”

Curiously, Alaran seemed to cheer up at her words. “Excellent, Mistress. I will take care of it.” He bowed gracefully at her, and ducked his head in Gabrielle’s direction, then he slipped out between two of the guards and moved off on an opposite track.

Xena was quiet for the rest of the walk up the long ramp to the stronghold. She seemed deep in thought, and Gabrielle figured it was wiser not to disturb her. She simply walked alongside the queen, giving her what support she could. Her height really worked out for that, as it turned out. Her shoulders were just at the right level for Xena to lean on, and she was glad of the excuse to be close to her.

She wished the walk would last a lot longer. But it ended at the tower, and she reluctantly released her hold around the queen as the guards swept the door open for them. Xena strode inside the inner chamber, pausing halfway through the door and stopping.

She turned, and regarded Gabrielle seriously. Then she pointed at one of the guards. “Take everything in there.” She indicated Gabrielle’s little cubby. “And bring it inside here.” She jerked her chin towards the inside of the hall.

The guard and Gabrielle exchanged looks, as the queen then disappeared into her inner chambers.

**

Xena walked across public chamber and went to the window. She rested a hand on either side of it and looked out, taking a deep breath against the turmoil going on inside her.  After a moment she sat down on the sill and carefully leaned against the wall with the uninjured part of her back.

Her head came to rest against the stone with a soft thump. She lifted one hand and rubbed the side of her face as she removed the flower from her belt and stared at it.

It was just a flower. Her fingers twirled it. She could throw it away, and yet she held it – its slight, spicy fragrance and rich color capturing her attention.

She found herself asking why.  Why had Gabrielle given it to her? Xena’s brow furrowed as she watched the sky darken. It wasn’t as though she’d never gotten gifts. Subjects gave them to her any excuse they got, to buy favor from her or to attract her eye to them.

But Gabrielle already had her attention, and the girl was smart enough to know that. So why a flower?  The queen pondered the possibility that it was just in the slave’s nature, since she seemed to have an open, generous way about her.

Maybe.

You know, Xena, you could just ask her if you weren’t so afraid of the answer. She mocked herself. What is it that you want the damn thing to mean?  She looked down at the flower, remembering the look in Gabrielle’s eyes when she’d offered it to her.

A gift from an honest heart. When was the last time she’d been offered that?

A knowledge settled over her, close and inescapable. When was the last time you wanted to give something back in return?

Xena closed her eyes, a wry smile finding its way onto her face. Nice. The entire kingdom wanted you to marry Bregos, so to piss them off you make him a eunuch and fall in love with your chambermaid.  Gotta hand it to you, Xena. You’re an original.

Ah well. The queen watched the first twinkling stars appear. Had to happen sometime, didn’t it?  But what was she going to do now?  Good sense told her she needed to put a stop to it. Her own sense of honor, such as it was, frowned on the fact that the kid had no choice, had no option but to do what Xena commanded.

She looked down at the flower. But Gabrielle hadn’t had to do that, had she? Nothing forced her to choose the bloom, nothing commanded her to give it.

Nothing was forcing the emotion packed look in her eyes when she’d offered it up.

Or was it just a good act?  Xena exhaled, turning her head and pausing as she unexpectedly found Gabrielle in the doorway to the inner chambers, just quietly watching her.  When their eyes met, the queen could feel the undeniable pull between them and she knew, she just knew that whatever the reasons around it…

This, at least, was real.

There was a truth between them that transcended the roles they played.

So. “All set?”  Xena asked. “With all the skulking going on, I’m not having you hang out in the corridor waiting for a half wit with no sense and less brains to have a go at you.”

Gabrielle smiled and nodded. She walked over and stood by the window, leaning a shoulder against the stone. “Want me to put that in water?” She asked, glancing at the flower. “It’ll last longer.”

Xena’s eyes twinkled. Life did, she’d learned, what it did, and if you were smart you took what it gave you.

She was smart.  With a snap of her teeth, she bit off the bloom and chewed it, the petals tasting sweet and a little tangy in her mouth. “Nah.” She swallowed it, and watched Gabrielle’s eyes blink in startled surprise. “I’m an instant gratification kinda gal. We can get more of them at dinner.”

She got up and put an arm around Gabrielle’s shoulders for no reason at all, leading her back into the bedroom.

**

“I think it looks better.” Gabrielle examined Xena’s bare back. “It’s not so red anymore, and it’s not swollen up.”

“Uh huh.” Xena murmured, her eyes closed. “After what you did to me before, I sure as Hades hope not.”

Gabrielle cleaned carefully around the stitches, watching the gentle rise and fall of Xena’s breathing. “I know that hurt a lot, but at least it helped.”  She said, her fingertips lightly touching the dark bruise from Brego’s hit that now crossed the queen’s shoulderblade.

Even with the damage, Gabrielle could see the beauty underneath. Xena’s skin was smooth and soft, and it was neatly fit over the bones and significant amount of muscle underneath it.  Her spine curved under Gabrielle’s hand, nestled between two thick lines of sinew on either side of it.

Xena had her gown draped loosely over her body from the hips down, and an arm curled around her pillow as she waited for Gabrielle to finish.

The rest of her was bare, and Gabrielle was finding it harder and harder to concentrate on her task as she became more and more aware of the body lying before her.  Aware of it’s symmetry, and the gorgeous sculpture of it’s proportions.

“I think you’ve just got talented hands.”

Gabrielle looked up, the hands in question going still. “Really?”

“Yes.” Xena kept her eyes closed, but a half smile appeared. “You’ve got a light touch. Most don’t.”

“Well, I’m trying not to hurt you.” Gabrielle said. “I know how sore you must be.”  She worked a few moments more. “Do you…have you gotten hurt like this before?”  It felt a little strange to be asking, but she wasn’t really sure what other kind of small talk she could manage with the queen.

“Hmm.” Xena mulled the question over. “A few times, sure.” She answered. “There’s a scar, lower down on my back, across my spine. See it?”

“No.. oh, yes.” Gabrielle had to move the robe a little. “Wow.”

“I was riding with my men, on a raid through a city out west of here.” Xena said. “We ran into a band of Spartans.”

“Oo.”

“Tough fight.” Xena admitted. “Damn, they were good. They got one of my captains and cut him in half, and came after me. I got the bastards who got my man, but two of them got behind me and tried to cut me out of my saddle.”

“That’s… from a sword?” Without thinking, Gabrielle reached down and ran a finger across the scar.

Xena’s eyes popped wide open. She turned her head slightly, the muscles along her side and belly contracting at the unexpected touch. “Ah.. yeah.” She cleared her throat. “Broadsword. I dripped blood for ten miles back to our camp. Lucky I didn’t bring wolves down on us.”

“That sounds horrible.” Gabrielle frowned.

“Made for a great campfire story.” Xena disagreed. “Took forever to heal, though. I..” The queen exhaled wryly. “We had an old man, a healer we’d picked up somewhere. He told me to stay off my horse and damned if I listened to him.”

Gabrielle took her time at cleaning, not really wanting the moment to end too soon. “I think the most significant injury I ever had was when our pig bit me.” She told Xena. “In the knee.”

Xena chuckled.

“That bled a lot too, but it doesn’t make nearly as interesting a story.” The slave said. “I picked up one of her piglets, to play with it and she wasn’t very happy.”

“I bet she wasn’t.” The queen said. “I hate pigs. I was gored by a boar outside Thrace one year. Damn thing put a tusk right here.” Xena touched her leg, drawing the covering back to expose a knotted scar.

“Ow.”

“Yeah.” Xena studied the old wound. “Pissed me off. I dropped my weapons and grabbed it and we wrestled in the mud until I broke it’s stinking neck.”  She recalled. “We roasted it for dinner. Best meal we’d had in half a moon.”

“Did you spend a long time out with your army?” Gabrielle asked curiously. “It sounds like you had a lot of adventures.”

Xena glanced back at her. “Long enough to conquer from the northern mountains here to the sea.” Her eyes took on a hint of a sparkle. “Took a long road to get to this pile of hedonistic pillows from where I came from.”

Gabrielle finished up, studying her handiwork with a sense of satisfaction. “Okay.” She said. “I think that’s about as good as I can do.”

“You sure?” The queen queried.

The blond slave nodded.

“C’mon over here and sit down, then.” Xena patted the bed’s surface.

Gabrielle got up and put her basin in the bathing room. Then she returned and circled the bed, settling gingerly on it’s surface facing Xena. She was barefoot, and in one of her work tunics, and she decided to sit cross legged.

“Dinner’ll be long, boring, and possibly dangerous.” The queen said. “What I want you to do is just sit and watch everyone. Listen to what people say.”

“All right.” Gabrielle rested her elbows on her knees. “I though the trouble was over, though.”

Xena snorted. “Ah, my adorable little friend.. trouble is never over as long as I’m around. Don’t forget that.”

Adorable? Gabrielle’s ears perked up. “I’ll try to remember.”

The queen grunted, and half closed her eyes. Long, dark lashes fluttered, then she slowly reached out and touched Gabrielle’s leg. “Where’s that one from?”

Huh? After a moment’s dumb staring, the slave looked down at her own leg as electric tingles surrounded the spot Xena’s hand was resting on. “Oh.”  Memories flooded back, injecting bleakness into her mood. “Nothing interesting.”

Xena studied the jagged white line, on the inside of her slave’s thigh. She looked up to see the echo of an old grief on Gabrielle’s face, a quiet emptiness in her eyes that frankly surprised her.

Gabrielle pushed the thoughts aside, rooting around for something to distract the curiosity she could see in those pale blue eyes. “You know, your story about the Spartans reminded me of something I heard back home at the inn, once.”

She has a secret. Xena watched the emotions flicker on and off Gabrielle’s very expressive face. Should I let her keep it?  It wasn’t anything that involved her, Xena felt. Something in the girl’s past, though. And given how young she was, how much of a past could she have to hide secrets in?  “Yeah? What’s that?” She decided to wait, and see if Gabrielle revealed herself.

“It was about a warrior, a Spartan who had gotten separated from his army and ended up wandering across the land searching for a way home…”

As Xena listened, she saw Gabrielle’s face shift subtly, and her voice, always soft and somewhat melodic deepened in tone as she spoke.

“One day he was captured by a tribe of fierce warriors and…”

Xena forgot about the secret, and let the story roll over her.

“But he was so brave, no matter what they did to him, that he earned the respect of the warriors. He earned their respect, but he also caught the imagination of the daughter of the tribe’s leader…”

The pain in her back faded out, and she simply concentrated on enjoying the tale, watching as Gabrielle straightened up and used her hands to shape a figure in mid air, describing a shield. She could hear the admiration in Gabrielle’s tone as she talked about the warrior, telling of his courage and the honor that won him the girl’s regard yet sentenced him to the tribe’s enmity.

She wondered if the warrior in the story knew how lucky he was, to have his memory remembered and told by countless youngsters, impressed by the romance of the tale.

What stories would they tell of you, Xena? She mocked herself silently. How many men you butchered?

“And the soldier decided to accept the challenge, but he said if he did win, the tribe would have to let him go. They agreed, knowing they would defeat him, and then the battle started….”

Xena sighed inwardly.

“It lasted all day, because the soldier was a Spartan, and of all the peoples of the land, the Spartans know war better than any.”

“Mm.”

“And he lost.” Gabrielle said. “Because in the end, he was only one, and the tribe was many, and what he learned was without friends, even the greatest warrior can be beaten.”  She touched her fingers together and gazed at them. “But even in defeat, his courage so impressed the tribe that they undertook a great journey of their own, to bring his body back to Sparta.”

Xena felt a sudden constriction in her throat.

“They brought him home.”  Gabrielle finished, in a quiet tone.

They were both silent for a bit. Finally Xena shifted and exhaled. “Nice job, storyteller.”

Gabrielle had been looking down at her folded hands, seemingly deep in thought. Now her head came up and she looked at Xena, an expression of surprise on her face. She took a breath to answer, then just let it out, her teeth clicking shut at the end of it.

Xena patted the slave’s leg.

“You know I…” Gabrielle paused. “I didn’t think I had that in me anymore.”  Her brow puckered.  “I remember the last time I…” She stopped. “Well, anyway, I’m glad you liked it.”

“I knew if I waited long enough you’d tell me a story worth listening to.” The queen told her, with a faint quirk of her lips. “We’ll have to find you some more to tell.”

A pleased smile appeared on Gabrielle’s face. “Well, I’m sure if I stay here, I’ll find lots of them.” She told the queen. “A lot more interesting than angry pigs, that’s for sure.”

Xena lifted an eyebrow. “Oh, those’ll be stories to scare the kids with.” She snorted again. “Gabrielle’s Horror Tales, get em while they’re hot, two dinars a piece!”

The young slave laughed. “They won’t be horror tales.” She protested, her hand dropping casually to clasp Xena’s. “They’ll be about you.”

It caught them both by surprise, and for a long string of heartbeats, they just sat there in silence.

Broken by the queen’s low grunt. “Gabrielle.” Xena gave her a wry look, but didn’t remove her hand. “I am not story material.” She said. “At least, I’m not story material unless you’re making tales to scare little kids into behaving.”

Gabrielle tilted her head to one side, her mist green eyes picking up the flickering candlelight as she examined Xena’s face. “Well.” She finally said, in a soft voice. “I guess I’ll just have to take what comes, then.”

Interesting choice of terms.  Xena reflected again on how nice it was to have someone to just sit and talk to. Even if they really didn’t have a choice in the matter.

Almost as nice as having someone sit and hold your hand.

**

“I’ll take that.” Gabrielle smiled, and removed the flagon of white wine from the startled server’s hands.  Dressed again in her nifty black livery, she had spent her time so far attentively at Xena’s side, or roaming through the hall with her ears wide open.

Xena had wanted to dress her up and just sit her down next to her at the table, but Gabrielle had pointed out if it was information she was after, it’d be hard to get it that way.

Xena had frowned. Gabrielle had gotten the feeling that the queen was really struggling between what she wanted to do, and what she knew was the right thing to do and it had taken her longer than she’d expected for Xena to decide to accept her suggestion.

The hawk’s livery was comfortable, and she liked wearing it. She’d taken a sneak peek at herself in the mirror, and decided the outfit flattered her coloring and the belted tunic looked good on her.  It made her feel like she was part of something, and every time she passed one of Xena’s men standing guard there was a sense of kindred spiritry going that tickled her no end.

She carried the wine flagon, selected at random from the servers circulating the hall, back to Xena’s high table, a long walk across the huge banqueting hall.

This was the first time she’d seen this room, which Xena had described to her as the ‘biggest whore cavern on earth.’  Xena had, she’d realized, a very peculiar sense of humor, but watching the scores and scores of nobles coming up to bow before Xena’s feet, giving her little presents and courtseys Gabrielle got an inkling of what it was the queen was talking about.

The chamber was roughly three times the size of the usual banquet hall she’d already seen, and it’s ceiling was so high, she couldn’t see the carved decorations clearly that circled it. Hanging oil lamps lit the inside with warm, golden light, and the stone floor was covered with thick, woven rugs that dampened what surely would have been a horrible echoing without them.

The walls were draped with colorful tapestries, and the tables were set up in a huge semi circle, leaving a wide open space in front of Xena’s high seat, the marble steps leading down to it also draped in rugs scattered with flower petals.

It was loud, and the scents from the various dinner courses floated in the air. To one side, a group of court musicians were playing, much to Gabrielle’s delight. She loved music, and since she was completely unable to produce any herself,  it had been rare that she’d gotten to hear it.

The two guards at the rear of the room, who blocked access to the steps in the rear leading up to Xena’s table eased aside at her approach and let her past. One was the older man, Brendan who also winked at her. Gabrielle smiled back at him, and trotted up the steps.

Xena’s ornate throne had it’s back to her, but she could see the curve of the queens’ shoulder and her arm as she rested it on the chair’s. The shoulder shifted and Xena’s profile appeared as she came close, her approach being apparently heard.

“Ah. Gabrielle.” Xena remarked. “What treat are you bringing me now?” She half turned, diverting her attention from the cluster of richly dressed men gathered in front of her. “Is that wine?”

“Yes.” Gabrielle knelt at her side and showed her the flagon. “It’s the white, sweet one.”

“Oo.. you learn fast.” Xena complimented her. “Gimme.” She held out her silver and crystal goblet, recently emptied, and watched as Gabrielle neatly filled it. Then she settled back and studied the nobles, friends of Lastay’s who had just returned from a journey to the south. “Tell me of the province, gentlemen.”  She let her free hand rest lightly on the still kneeling Gabrielle’s back, her fingers moving in a light pattern.

Gabrielle kept both hands on the flagon, relishing the touch on her back as she listened to the nearest man, a tall, silver haired duke dressed in natty maroon and gray speak. He related a story of meeting some travelers from the far east, who were interested in beginning trade with them.

“How far east?” Xena asked quietly. “I have heard much of the mysteries from those parts.”

“They were very different, Majesty.” The duke agreed. “They spoke with a music, and their eyes were lidless and dark.” He walked carefully up the steps and knelt before her, holding out a small box. “They had things of great beauty to trade.”

Xena set her cup down on the table at her side. She took the box and examined it. It was a surprisingly heavy, creamy white substance with incredibly intricate carving on it. “Interesting.”  She eased the top open with her thumb, her eyebrows rising when she found it full of many colored pearls.

“A gift for you, my liege.” The duke murmured. “The travelers told us they had heard of our realm, and that they too were from a place of mighty queens, that maybe we could find other likenesses and trade with each other.”

“Hm.” Xena was actually sort of impressed by the gift. It wasn’t ostentatious, but it gave a hint of what resources lay behind it. “What are they looking to trade for? If they have these kids of riches?” She asked, giving the duke an appraising look.

“Majesty, they did not say.” The duke seemed chagrined. “Though we did try to question them, albeit gently.”

“Well well.” Xena leaned on her chair arm and showed the box to Gabrielle. “What do you think?”

Gabrielle studied the box, wiping the condensation from the flagon off her hand before she touched the carving with a wondering finger. “It’s beautiful.”  She murmured. “Are those animals on it? I’ve never seen anything like them.”

“Me either.” Xena murmured back. “Jelas, you’ve done very well. Thanks.” She addressed the duke, who produced a satisfied smile under his trimmed gray moustache. “We’ll have to investigate this trading opportunity further. I will send a delegation out to find more of these travelers, and see where they lead us.”  She gave Jelas an approving look. “Let me know if you know anyone interested in leading such a delegation, all right?”

Jelas positively beamed. “Majesty, that I surely will, as you know that I claim the heart of an adventurer, and would love to represent your interests in such a way.”

Good boy. Xena graciously nodded at him. “I was hoping you’d say that. See me at day court tomorrow, and let’s talk.”

“Majesty.” Jelas did more than bow. He gracefully prostrated himself at her feet, touching his forehead to her shoe before rising to join the small party kneeling behind him. He paused a moment, then met her eyes. “I deeply regret not arriving through the city gates until just prior to now, my liege. I ache to have missed the morning here.”

“I bet.” Xena remarked drolly, watching him turn and make his way back to his retainers, who rose and gathered excitedly around him.  She shook her head slightly and looked down at the box again, opening it’s lid and pushing a curious finger into the pile of pearls. She selected one, a pretty silver gray in color and removed it. “Mm.”

Gabrielle exhaled. She’d never seen anything so pretty, the oil light seeming to collect inside the pearl’s luster and make it reflect in it’s depths. “Wow.”

“Mm.” Xena murmured again. “I’ve always liked pearls.” She said. “Take an ugly thing like an oyster, stick a bit of irritating sand inside it, and what do you get?” Her fingers gently turned the pearl. “One of life’s more interesting paradoxes.” Her eyes flicked sideways, to take in Gabrielle’s face. “Kind of like you. Here.” She handed her the pearl.

Hesitantly, Gabrielle took it. The pearl sat there nestling in her palm for a moment before she looked up at Xena in question.

“Don’t swallow it.” The queen advised, in a mild tone. “Or your tongue either.”

Gabrielle closed her hand over the pearl and produced an incredulous smile. “Thank you.”  She whispered, peripherally aware of the curious eyes watching them. The sounds of the room faded out, though, when their eyes met and her heart started to pound seeing the unexpected gentleness in Xena’s gaze.

And then the queen blinked, and it was gone, and the chaos faded back in. “That’s for finding a good jug of wine in this place.” Xena said casually, leaning back in her throne.  She picked up a duck’s wing off her plate and took a bite of it.

A smile appeared as she chewed. The queen then reached over and offered Gabrielle the wing, a touch of mischief in her eyes as she waited to see what her slave was going to do.

Caught in the act of tucking the pearl away for safe keeping, Gabrielle just stared at the item in startlement for a few heartbeats.  “Oh… ah…”

“Don’t like duck?” Xena inquired innocently.

“I’ve never tried it.” Gabrielle confessed.

“Always a first time.” More mischief emerged. “Can’t have you be a duck virgin… too.”

Gabrielle colored visibly, but she took a breath and leaned forward, taking a cautious nibble from the wing. The taste was far different than she’d expected, and she licked her lips. “Mm.” She watched Xena’s face, seeing only amused indulgence, and went back for another bite this time coming daringly close to the queen’s fingers.

“Now, that’s promising.” Xena said, reclaiming her wing and sinking her teeth into it.

Promising? Gabrielle chewed her mouthful of very tasty duck and swallowed it. Promising for what? She set her wine flagon down and eased down into a semi seated position. She tried to concentrate on the voices around her, but somehow her ears seemed to be tuned into the tall, seated figure to her left. Every rustle of Xena’s gown seemed unnaturally loud to her.

Every shift of the queen’s gown made her breathing shorten.

Xena’s voice was what she craved hearing, not the inane babbling of the courtiers.

Gabrielle gazed across the room, trying to work through the passion she could feel building inside her. It felt wild and out of control and all she could do was sit on her haunches and listen to the harpist drop tinkling notes over the buzz of the hall.

Now come on, Gabrielle. You’re supposed to be doing something important. There could be people out there planning all sorts of bad things.

The scent of spiced beef suddenly made her blink, and she focused on a bit of it just before her nose. She heard Xena’s soft chuckle as she leaned forward and took it, and before she herself really knew what she was doing, shifted it to the back of her teeth and licked the bit of juice it had left behind off Xena’s fingers.

Xena’s chuckle abruptly faded and it was a moment before Gabrielle got up the courage to look over at her only to find a look of intrigued interest on her face. In that charged silence, she swallowed and licked her lips, feeling very short of breath. “Um… “ She found herself unable to tear her eyes from Xena’s. “Interesting spices.”

For the very first time, the smile Xena returned to her held nothing of restraint in it. It was a bold grin that lit up her eyes and made her seem years younger.  Gabrielle felt herself captured by it and just about swallowed whole.

It was far more intoxicating even than the wine in the jug between her knees.

“Very interesting.” Xena abruptly broke the moment. “I have to find out what cook put on that, as a matter of fact.”  With a lingering look at Gabrielle, she turned and rested her chin on her fist, facing yet another small party of nobles.

Gabrielle folded her hands in her lap, feeling very much on emotional overload. She forced her attention to the nearby tables, seeing expressions that ranged from affronted to angry to indulgent there. One man pointed towards her, and shook his head.

Gabrielle just barely kept herself from giving in to the urge to stick her tongue out at him. She let her heartrate settle down, then she concentrated on listening to the snatches of talk she could hear bouncing off the walls that the speakers never intended for her to listen to.

There was a lot of anger out there. Gabrielle had understood that when she’d walked through the crowd. Many of the nobles had backed Bregos, and a number of them had lost money to the nobles who had stayed loyal to Xena on top of it.

There was also fear. Fear that Xena knew who had defected, and fear of what the queen would do about it.

Gabrielle had heard a story, while she’d waited with the rest of the servants for warm towels for their masters and mistresses to wipe themselves for dinner with.  One of the older men had been telling everyone about a time when a duke had decided to make a run for the throne, and had tried to assassinate Xena during a festive ball right here in the stronghold. Xena had, he told them, found out about it and when everyone had come in for the ball, the traitor had been one of the decorations, portions of his body hung up to spin like paper lanterns over their heads.

Gabrielle believed the story.

The harpist was coming closer,  his voice now lifting in a jaunty tune that matched the fingers skipping over his harp strings.  His eyes met hers briefly, and he smiled. She smiled back at him, enjoying his talent.

“Jellaus.” Xena called out, motioning the musician over. “C’mere.”

The man finished his song and bowed to the applause, and then came quickly to Xena’s throne. He knelt before her clasping the harp to his chest, and bowed his head. “My liege, how may I serve you?” He asked, looking up at her.

Xena glanced at Gabrielle. “You like music?”

“Very much.” Gabrielle answered instantly. “Every year we used to travel to the big market festival and the best part about it was hearing the songs and watching the dancing. I love it.”

Jellaus beamed at her. “A young lady of very discriminating tastes!” He laughed. “I see her majesty has as always picked well for her service.”  He plucked a chord on his harp, it’s perfect pitch ringing true. “Such a music lover.. have you asked her majesty yet to demonstrate one of the finest voices in the land to you, Gabrielle?”

Gabrielle cocked her head, then turned and looked at the queen, who had a wry, almost dangerous expression on her face.

“Jellaus.” Xena rumbled softly.

“I speak only the truth, my liege.” Jellaus bowed, placing a hand over his heart.

“How about you play something to drown out all the horse crap, then.” Xena told him. “Before we get buried in it.”

The musician acknowledged the rebuke with a smile, then paused for a moment before he started playing his harp. The new melody he picked out was slower and had a gentle lilt to it. “Very well, Mistress.” He said. “As it happens, I have just finished a new song, and it would be my greatest honor to have you be the first to hear it.”

“Does it have at least one beheading?” The queen queried. “Or an army surrendering en mass?”

“Ah…” Jellaus modulated his plucking. “My liege, in this song, perhaps heads might be lost, and hearts certainly are, in a surrender of a different stripe.”  And with that, he launched into the tune, easing one leg out for balance as he rested on right knee.

Gabrielle listened, entranced. The song was about a lonely hawk, who spent it’s days guarding a rocky crag it called home. The hawk went hunting one day and found a mouse, and stooped on it, but instead of killing and eating it, took it back to its nest, and courted it.

It seemed like a strange thing for a hawk to do, Gabrielle mused, but the song was very pretty.

A moment later, she looked down at her chest, and felt like an idiot as she listened to the words and realized what the song was really about.

She didn’t dare look at Xena. Then she heard the queen sigh, and she had to look at her, sneaking a peek from the corner or her eye. Xena had her chin propped up on her fist, and a pensive, distant look on her face.  After a moment, though, the queen felt her gaze and looked over.

“If you start squeaking, I’ll put you over my knee and spank you right here in the ballroom.” She warned Gabrielle, uttering the words almost subvocally.

“I’d never do that.” Gabrielle whispered back.

“Good.” Xena smiled.

“I can wiggle my nose, though.” The blond girl demonstrated, adding a soft chitter to go along with it.

The queen covered her face with one hand and stifled a laugh.  She looked up as Jellaus finished with a melodic flourish of his fingers. “Jellaus, that was the stupidest song I’ve ever heard you do.” She accused.

“Thank you, my liege.” The musician swept a low bow. “May I do another?”

Xena glanced at the crowd, judging the atmosphere. “Sure.” She said. “Make it less stupid this time.”

“Aye, my liege, I will do that.” Jellaus grinned. He retuned his harp and started playing again, this time a well known ballad.  Xena resumed her listening pose, after she lifted a hand and made a brief signal. In the back of the room, Alaran nodded and ducked out the door.

Gabrielle found herself absorbed by the music, glad the day was over, and full of a wondering, buzzing excitement about what was yet to come.

It looked like the day had turned out all right after all.

**

Xena swirled the rich mead in her cup. In front of her were lines of soldiers, some bearing bandaged wounds, and the other winners of the festival.  Awarding favors was one of her favorite things to do, and she found herself looking forward to the task almost as much as the one after it, when she’d mete out punishment for those she had found wanting.

Her back was even giving her a break. Or maybe the four cups of mead had just convinced her that her back was giving her a break. Either way, she wasn’t going to argue with the lessening of the pain that had plagued her for days.

Her ears detected an approach behind her, and she felt her face crease into a grin quite unexpectedly. What would her clever little Gabrielle be bringing her now?  More snippets of gossip? More mead? Just her presence, which Xena was beginning to find more than appealing?

She turned to her right as her slave appeared, taking a seat on the small padded stool Xena had ordered for her. Her blond hair was slightly mussed, a bit of it straying into her eyes and she tossed her head to move it as she offered Xena the tray she was carrying.  “I found these. I thought you might like them.”

Xena examined the dainty pastries. “Uh huh.” She rested her jaw on her hand. “What made you think that, my little brainy friend?”

“Well.” Gabrielle “Mostly because I know you really like sweet fruits, so…”  She glanced at the tray. “I took a chance.”

“Oo.. getting brave, aren’t you?” Xena selected a pastry and popped it into her mouth, savoring it’s taste. “Your chance paid off. I love em.” She indicated the tray. “Try it.”

Gabrielle took the smallest of the pastries and nibbled at it. “Oh.” She blinked, surprised. “Wow, that’s good.”

“Uh huh.” Xena reached lazily over and combed her fingers through Gabrielle’s soft hair. “Listen.” She said. “Now comes the fun part. You can watch me give out the goodies, but I want you to go up to the tower after that.”

Gabrielle savored the touch, but not the words. “Why?”

“Because I said so, and I’m the queen.” Xena told her. “Because I’m going to do some very ugly things that I don’t want you to watch.”  She said. “Let’s try to keep my being in charge in mind, okay?”

The girl blinked. “Okay.” Gabrielle answered softly.

“Good.” Xena took another pastry and consumed it.

“But I really would like to stay.”

The queen paused in mid chew, and looked at her. The misty green eyes peered back, gentle and innocent. “Do you really think I care what slaves want, Gabrielle?” She asked with a harsh note of almost anger in her voice.

“No.” Gabrielle answered honestly. “But I’m not a child, and I want to stay anyway.”

Xena looked around her. The nearest clump of nobles were standing a small distance away, and no one was close enough to have overheard them.  Her instincts told her she was in danger. Her reaction to being challenged was ingrained in her as solid as the stone floor her chair was resting on.

Gabrielle should be punished. There was no question about that at all in her mind.

Was there? Xena felt an odd sense of confusion as she tried to formulate a rebuke. Maybe it was the mead, she reasoned. She’d had a cup or two more to drink than was her usual portion and it had been a long day after all, so…

Xena.  Her conscience tapped her on the top of her head. Cut the horse manure. If you let this pass, you’re opening up a trap door you’re going to end up falling right through.  She leaned a little closer and stared right into Gabrielle’s eyes, preparing herself to attack.

The slave merely sat there waiting, watching her with trusting eyes, her hand resting on the arm of the throne.

Well, why not let her stay?  Xena struggled internally. Do you care, if she sees you gut someone, Xena?   She found the truth reflected back to her in Gabrielle’s steady gaze, and it shocked her.  Yes, I do care.

I do care.

Xena lowered her eyelids and took a moment to compose herself. Then she straightened and regarded her slave again. “Why?”

Gabrielle’s head cocked to one side in question.

“Why do you want to stay and watch?” Xena asked. “You getting a taste for blood?”

“N..no.” The girl shook her head. “I just… I don’t want you to think I’m afraid of seeing things. I’m not a kid.”  Her jaw firmed up. “Besides, it’s sort of a part of life here, isn’t it?”

Is it?  Xena felt tired all of a sudden. She leaned back in her chair and let her eyes roam over the room. “Yeah, I guess it is.” She murmured. “All right. Stay if you want.”

Gabrielle shifted, lifting her hand and putting it on Xena’s arm, her fingers warm and comforting. “Thank you.”  She whispered. “I think I’ll probably regret it, but thank you anyway.”

Xena felt things slipping out of her grasp. “I think I’ll regret it too, but you’re welcome.” She sighed. “Hand that tray over here. As long as I’m on a wagon ride to Hades, I might as well enjoy it.”

Puzzled but willing, Gabrielle complied.

**

Xena stood before her throne. Alaran approached, and knelt, her sword in it’s sheath in his hands. Respectfully, he offered it to her hilt first. She closed her hand around it and drew it, the metal whispering out of the leather.

The oil lanterns had been supplemented by wall torches, and the inside of the chamber was now covered in flickering shadows. The crowd had settled, mead and wine had been liberally consumed, and now an atmosphere of restless edginess had taken over.

“All right. Everyone who got a ribbon, front and center.” Xena ordered.

With some excitement, the racers and bowmen edged forward.  Xena walked over to a small table set near the edge of her dias and surveyed the items on it. She neatly slipped her sword blade through the line of ribbons and lifted them up, colorful bits of fabric ending in dangling metal medallions.

The medallions had her face on them. Xena regarded the things as they hung there. She hated them. Whoever had casted the damn things had made her out to look like a gorgon, and Xena was more than vain enough to resent it.

She’d gone after the sculptor, but the bastard had fled the city before she could catch him.

Xena made a mental note to have the medals recast, then she walked over to the line of young men and women and held the sword out straight, daring them to take a medal off the blade.

The same blade that had taken Bregos down. The same blade she’d carried since she first took command of an army, and could afford to have the weapon hand cast for her. The sword had the stain of at least a thousand opponents on it, and though she knew the blade was a dully gleaming silver she often saw a red cast in it when she looked at it.  “C’mon… either get moving, or I’ll start putting them on you with this thing.”

A young woman, one of the horse riders was the first to step forward. She walked up to Xena and knelt, then carefully took the first medal off the blade. “My liege.”

Xena reached over and ruffled her hair. “Good job. Leave it to a girl to be the only one with guts.”

Startled, the woman blushed and almost stumbled backwards, narrowly avoiding bumping the next winner who was creeping forward.

They were all scared, but they were also excited, and Xena used the moment to give each of them an eye to eye look.

Some of them refused to look at her. She marked them.

Others dared to meet her gaze, but were suspicious and wary. She marked those, too.

Then there were the few that took their ribbon with a mixture of awe and pleasure, whose faces etched shy smiles as she looked at them.

Those few got a wink and a smile back from their charismatic queen, and unwittingly bound themselves to her in the blink of an eye.  Damned few, Xena sighed. Gotta start getting to them earlier. I’ve been slacking off lately, and that’s what I get for it.

After all the medals were given, Xena let her sword rest on her shoulder as she regarded the room. “The winners of the melee, get out here.”

From the corners of the room her men stepped out, walking confidently across the room to gather before her. Not all of them, of course, but the officers who would take the kudos back to the barracks with them. Xena waited for them to line up, then she motioned Stanislaus forward.

The castle seneschal had his arms wrapped around an ornate wooden chest, and he carried it to her, it’s weight evident in his labored steps.

“Brendan.” Xena called out.

The grizzled captain walked over from his guard post, and circled the throne dais to arrive in front of Xena. He dropped to his knees without hesitation, and put his fist up over his heart. “Majesty.”

“Brendan, I promised a special favor if your troops won the day.”

“Aye, majesty… but the favor of carrying your banner to victory was the reward we looked for.” Brendan said. “We want no other.”

“Charming, but altruism was never one of my faults, and I didn’t train you that way either.” Xena remarked dryly.  “As it happens, I was able to put a few bets on the contest through the kind offices of a few of our guests.”  The queen pointed her sword at the chest, then indicated Brendan. “Give it to him. Share it with the men, Brendan. They earned it.”

Brendan’s face went slack with shock as he got hastily to his feet to claim the chest. “Mistress.” He clasped the wooden bin to him. “Your generosity knows no bounds.”

Xena reached out and tapped him on the head with her sword blade. “My generosity is sporadic and eclectic at best and everybody knows it. G’wan and get that out of here before you fall with it and spill coin from here to the outer gates.”  She turned and regarded the room. “I’m sure everyone’ll agree their dinars went to good home, hm?”

Sour faces looked back at her from a good portion of the room.  She felt a cold humor settle on her.

Xena grinned. “It’s a shame our general can’t be here to join us, that what you’re thinking?”  She asked mockingly. “Those of you who were pushing him into trying to knock me off the big red chair back there?”

A low murmur went up. “Like you, Duke Edagar?”  Xena pointed her sword at him. Edagar was a burly, bearded man whom she liked to call Brego’s bearded buttlicker.

Indignantly, Edagar stood up. “Majesty, I protest! I am a most loyal subject!”

Xena walked towards him, daring him to hold his ground. Out of the corner of her eye she caught sight of Gabrielle perched behind her throne, watching her.  “Loyal? I don’t think you can even spell loyal, Edagar.”  She drawled.

“Majesty.”

Xena could feel the fear in the room rising.  The sword on her shoulder was a potent threat, and they all knew it.  “You think I don’t know about your little plan?” She moved closer. “Think I didn’t know about the lies you spread, the tales you told?”

Edagar’s knees were shaking. Xena could see them. Her eyes drilled into his. She would make him an example, and with any luck, only one set of body parts would have to be tossed in front of the gates.  The dark fire rose inside her and the urge to kill, held at bay the day long, surfaced.

Edagar saw it in her eyes. He dropped to his knees and then flat on his face, covering his head with his hands.

Xena stood over him. “Not only are you a traitor, you’re a coward.”  She turned her head towards Alaran, who was standing alertly at her shoulder. “Pick him up.”

Alaran and one of his men did so, lifting the duke up by the arms and holding him suspended between them.

“Duck.” Xena remarked casually. Both men bowed their heads and she struck, in a solid backhanded stroke that took his head off cleanly and sent it flying across the banquet table.

His wife screamed.  Xena gazed dispassionately at her. She fell off her chair and continued to scream in utter terror, the sound piercing the room and making an eerie counterpoint to the fluttering of the torches.

Xena let her eyes slowly track across the room. “Everyone get my… point?” She had to grin at the macbre humor.

Other than the woman’s screams, it was dead silent.

“Good.” Xena wiped her sword off on Edagar’s linen surcoat.  She turned and walked up the steps to her throne, idly twirling her sword in her hand.  The woman’s voice broke off into hysterical sobbing, but Xena didn’t turn around.  She sat down on her throne, and put her sword across her knees.

Only then, after a deep breath, did she look to her right to where Gabrielle was sitting.

The slave was gazing straight ahead, her lips pressed against her folded hands.

“Gonna listen to me next time?” Xena asked.

Gabrielle nodded slightly.

Xena fiddled with her sword hilt, aware of the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. Usually killing made her feel good, but watching the tremor in Gabrielle’s hands it was hard for her to feel anything but a little depressed.

She watched the guards drag both Edagar’s body and Edagar’s wife out.

Her back hurt.

Xena motioned Jeallaus to start playing again, as whispers finally broke the silence. The sound of the harp was almost surreal, but it was soothing to her ears as she sat back in her throne and listened.

After a few minutes, Gabrielle straightened and braced her hands on her knees, drawing in a deep breath and releasing it. She turned to look at Xena.

Xena returned the look.

“How did you know he was the one behind it all?” Gabrielle asked, in a soft voice.

“I didn’t.” The queen told her. “I made an example of him so the rest of the bastards who joined in will think twice before they do it again.”

The slave nodded slightly. “Do you know who they are?”

“Yes.”

Another slight nod. “Then you could have done that to all of them, couldn’t you?”

“I would have had to sharpen this a couple times, but sure.” Xena smiled grimly. “I could have. But if you kill em all, you don’t’ have any tax base left.”

“Oh.” Gabrielle rubbed her eyes.

Xena could only imagine the image she was trying to erase from them. “You know what?”

“What?” The slave looked up at her.

“I’ve had enough fun for one night. Let’s go.”  Xena stood up, motioning for Alaran to approach with her sheath. “I want to get this damn gown off, and wash the stink of this place off me.”  She took the leather sheath and slid the sword home. “You take care of everything?”

“Yes, Majesty.” Alaran seemed a lot more relaxed. “The men… were very pleased with your gift.” He told her. “And my spies tell me… those that supported Bregos are very, very sorry.”

“Mm.. you can say that again.” Xena grunted. “I’m going to the tower. If anyone gets drunk in here, throw them in the dungeon for a sevenday and fine them a hundred dinars.”

“Mistress.” Alaran bowed. “It has been a very profitable day.”

Xena watched Gabrielle come to stand quietly at her shoulder, the shadows painfully evident in her eyes. “Yeah.”  The queen shifted her sword to her left hand and let her right rest on Gabrielle’s shoulder. She half expected the girl to flinch, and found a small glimmer of warmth when she didn’t. “I made a mint. C’mon, kid. Let’s go get comfortable.”

Gabrielle straightened and produced a gentle smile.

“Are you well, majesty?” Alaran asked suddenly, leaning closer. “Truth, I’d forgotten you were injured.”

“That thing? Just a scratch.” Xena slung her arm over Gabrielle’s shoulders and started down the steps. “Now at least we can put the whole damn thing behind us, and move on.”

“You’re right, Majesty.” Alaran watched them go. “That we can.”

Gabrielle waited until they were out of the hall, and walking towards the grand staircase before she spoke. “You know something?”

Xena sighed. “I’m a cold, heartless whore bitch assassin with no morals and less conscience?”

“Um..” Gabrielle cleared her throat a little. “No.. that guy Alaran gives me the creeps.”

“He’s a spy. He is a creep.”

“Oh.”

Xena walked along the hall, glad of the cool breeze after the heated warmth of the banquet chamber. “You don’t think I’m a cold heartless whore bitch assassin with no morals and less conscience?”

“No.” Gabrielle put an arm around her. “Just a really strong person who does what they think they have to.”

Xena looked at her. “I think you just proposed to me.”  She remarked, feeling a little of the gloom lifting. “Impulsive thing, aren’t you?”

Gabrielle exhaled, her shoulders relaxing. “I’m really glad it’s all over.”

“Nice change of subject.” Even in the dark, Xena could sense the blush.  She pushed the long day out of her mind, and focused on the future.  Bregos was taken care of. The rebellion was squashed. She had a pretty girl in her arms, and with any luck, she could take time now to heal in peace.

And get to know Gabrielle a little better, now that it seemed the girl wasn’t screaming and running for her life after the night’s entertainment.

Yet.

**

Continued in Part 9

Shadows of the Soul

Part 9

Gabrielle slipped into her new cubbyhole, one ear cocked to hear Xena’s orders to the staff outside. She paused in the center of the room and looked around, surprised but pleased at the space around her. The ceiling was high, and the room, closet really she reckoned, was almost square and the walls had lots of little shelves and alcoves in them to put things in. Where her previous space had obviously just been a forgotten curve in the wall, this had light, and even a worn but respectable rug covering a good part of the stone floor.

Her cot was against the wall along with the small chest, and she went over to it and started stripping off her livery.

Her mind kept returning to dinner, though, and she found herself reliving the horrible moment that had ended it, not so much the vision of Xena killing the duke but the heart rending scream of the wife he’d left behind.   It resonated with her, and reminded her strongly of the moment when she’d seen the arrow pierce Lila’s chest and she was having a hard time getting past the image again despite the fact that she knew Xena had done what she’d thought she needed to.

Just like with Lila. Gabrielle smoothed her fingertips over the yellow hawk, caught again by the paradox her life was rapidly becoming.

By all rights, Xena’s nature, and her cold hearted willingness to slaughter should be repelling her. And yet Gabrielle felt herself being drawn closer and closer to the dangerous and deadly queen despite all logic to the contrary.  Even watching her dispatch the noble had only jolted her empathy for the man’s wife, rather than stirred up horror at the man’s death itself.  Was she starting to get used to it?  Gabrielle sat down and removed her boots. Was Xena right? Was she even getting a taste for the excitement of it all?

She stood up and removed her leggings, then slipped out of the buttery golden shirt, folding it neatly and laying it over the overtunic.  The stone walls held a chill that raised goosebumps on her bare skin and she rubbed her arms absently as she tried to make sense of it.

And realized there was none to be had, at least at the moment.  She hated the violence, and the deadly games of the court. But even though Xena was the core of it, Gabrielle knew it wasn’t in her heart to hate the queen.

Far from it. She closed her eyes in quiet confirmation. Could she hate everything Xena stood for, and love Xena herself?  Her ears caught the sound of Xena moving into the bathing room, and she felt her heart skip a beat.

Well. That wasn’t fear stirring in her guts, virgin or no she knew that much.

She sighed as she tucked her boots under the cot and stood up, running her fingers through her hair as she went to her little chest and removed a shift to sleep in. She pulled it over her head and put her livery away neatly folded, then paused as she started to stand up when she spotted a small, neglected looking box tucked back in the corner of the space.

Curious, she walked over and crouched next to it, lifting the latch and opening the top to peer inside.

**

For once,  she wanted hot water.  Xena dipped a finger into the gently steaming liquid, giving the two slaves who had brought the buckets and approving nod. “Great. Now get out.”  She told them, watching the guard herd them out the door and into the hallway.  She waited for the door to close then she wandered back into the bathing room and rested her forearms on the edge of the marble tub.

“Hm.” Xena regarded the water for a minute. Then she walked over to the stone alcove set into the wall and picked up a small jar, removing the top and sniffing warily.  “Eh.” She muttered. “It’s better than flowers.”  She walked over and sprinkled a bit of the bath salts into the water, releasing a light scent of sandalwood and nutty cinnamon into the air. Putting the jar back, she went to her closet and untied the ornate belt on her gown, noting the blood spatter that dotted the fabric in a swath from her shoulder to her hip.

With a grimace, she removed the gown and draped it over a wooden stand in the closet. Studying her choices, she selected a brief, silk robe and eased it over her shoulders, tying the thin woven cord loosely around her waist.  She studied her reflection in the mirror, then ran a hand through her hair to fluff it’s bangs a trifle.

One eyebrow lifted in dire sarcasm. “Ohhh… you’ve got it bad.” She accused her reflection. “Last time you primped it was for your horse.”

With a half disgusted shake of her head, she turned her back on the mirror. Barefoot, she stepped silently into the bedroom and leaned on a cornice outside the door to the space she’d had Gabrielle’s things put in.

It was a small cubby, a closet really she’d never used that the castle’s prior occupants had stored their volumes of rich clothing and personal trinkets in. It was larger than the alcove outside in the hall, though, and it had a wall sconce for a hanging oil lamp that lit the interior with a pleasing warm glow.

It was quiet inside. Xena unfolded her arms and walked to the door, peering inside.  Gabrielle was sitting on her cot, leaning back against the wall with her legs folded up under her. She had  piece of parchment in her hands and she was reading it, seemingly completely absorbed but it’s contents.

Xena smiled at the sight. Then she put her fingers between her teeth and let out a piercing whistle, causing Gabrielle to nearly levitate off the cot and onto the floor.

“Yow!” The slave yelped, grabbing her chest. “Oh!”

“Heh heh.” Xena entered and looked around, putting her hands on her scantily clad hips. “Well, it beats the broom closet out there.”

Gabrielle caught her breath, then lost it again as she caught a look at the darkened blue eyes watching her. “Uh… yes… it’s… I like it.”

“Do ya?” Xena strolled over and took a seat next to her on the cot, making the mattress rustle and the straps under it creak.  “What’s that?” She pointed at the parchment.

“Oh.” Gabrielle looked down at the writing. “I found it in that box over there. It’s a poem.” She offered it to Xena. “It’s beautiful. Did you write it?”

“Me?” The queen burst into a wry laugh. “Gabrielle, I’d sooner skin rats with my teeth than write poetry.” She mouthed the last word as thought it were a curse. “Poetry? Me?”

The slave put the parchment down on her lap and scratched her jaw. “I’m sorry.” She apologized in a soft voice. “It had an ‘X’ on the bottom so I thought…”

Xena snatched the parchment and examined it.  “X must be for unknown.”  She said finally, tossing the parchment back. “I’ve never seen it before.”

Gabrielle fingered the hide. “Is it okay if I keep it?”

The queen folded her arms over her chest, and eyed her. “It’s not mine. Why should I care if you do?”  She could see the smile starting on Gabrielle’s face and decided to change the subject. “I have a hot bath waiting.”

The slave folded the parchment carefully and put it into her trunk. “Would you like me to wash your shoulder?” She asked.

“I’d like you to get in the tub with me and wash me all over.” Xena answered, with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.  She watched the green eyes facing her widen to an almost comical degree and saw the muscles on either side of Gabrielle’s face relax as her jaw dropped.  With a smirk, she reached over and tipped the slave’s head to one side. “Think those are your brains dripping out. Careful.”

Gabrielle closed her jaw with a slight clicking sound as her teeth met. She remained silent, however, her eyes wide open and borderline fearful.

Not what Xena wanted. “Hey.” She patted Gabrielle’s cheek. “It’s been a long day, and I’m really too tired to sadistically rape you. Relax.”  She watched the girls’ expressive face. “Gabrielle?”

Gabrielle exhaled. “Um.. I’m.. sorry. That just.. sort of surprised me.”

Xena pursed her lips. “Come.” She got up off the cot and held her hand out. “I don’t ask for hot water often, and it’d be a crime to waste it.”

Shyly, Gabrielle stood and took her outstretched fingers, clasping them as she followed Xena out and through the bedroom into the bathing chamber.

Steam was rising faintly over the tub, and it smelled wonderful. Gabrielle felt scared, and excited and her heart started doing somersaults in her chest as she felt herself drawn towards the marble basin.

“It’s just a bath.” Xena cupped her cheek gently. “Don’t pass out when you get in there, or you’ll drown and it’ll just ruin my day, okay?”

The humor helped. Gabrielle dropped her eyes, knowing she was blushing, but nodded.

Xena held back a wry chuckle, as she untied the laces on her slave’s shirt, and tugged it over her head. A moment later, she added her own robe to it, and tossed them both to one side. Then she stepped over the edge of the tub into the pleasantly warm water and steered Gabrielle to do the same.

Which was hard, since the kid still had her eyes closed. Xena took the opportunity to study her bare body, noting the pleasant proportions as well as surprising, few scars in addition to the one on her leg. The girl took in a deep breath and her ribs expanded, easily visible under her pale skin.

Xena reached over and touched a faint bump on one of them, causing a slight gasp to escape from Gabrielle’s throat.  This was not, the queen decided, the time to probe for the pieces of this particular puzzle however.

There would be time for that.

“Hey.” Xena patted Gabrielle’s cheek, and watched the pale lashes flutter open. “I’m not a guide dog.” She pointed downward. “Sit.”

The tub was more than large enough for both of them, and once settled, Gabrielle seemed to relax a little. She looked around her, touching the side of the tub with a sense of wonder.

As well she might. It was rose marble, and admittedly the nicest bathtub this side of Rome. Xena leaned her shoulder against the stone and lifted the soap off it’s holder, releasing some lather into the water. Playfully, she blew some of the floating bubbles towards Gabrielle and as they reached her chest, the girl finally looked up and met her eyes. “So.”

Gabrielle had apparently moved past embarrassment. “So.” She responded, her voice slightly husky.

“Here we are. Naked, in a tub full of hot water, romantic candles burning nearby…” Xena remembered to grin so the kid would know she was playing with her.

“It’s beautiful.” Gabrielle answered softly. “I’ve never been in warm water like this. It feels great.” She lifted her hand out of the liquid and let it run through her fingers. “I was… in our family I was the oldest, so I ended up with pretty cold water, in a wooden trough and my sister to get cleaned up.”

“I ended up in ice cold streams most of the time.” Xena admitted, with a chuckle. “Until I conquered everyone and took over this place. Now I can have hot water whenever I want, and damned if I ever ask for it.” She reached out and captured Gabrielle’s hand, scrubbing it lightly with the soap. “Besides, it’s a boring tub to be in by yourself.”

Okay. Gabrielle felt her heart settling down to the business of actually moving her blood around inside her instead of trying to climb out of her throat. It’s just a bath, like she said Gabrielle.  You’re here, it’s nice, she’s just being playful… it’s okay.   Her body relaxed and she decided to try a little playfulness herself.

Gabrielle inched a little closer and took the soap, getting some lather on her fingers and cleaning Xena’s hand with it. “You have really nice hands.”

Xena’s eyebrows lifted. “I have paws the size of a bears that can break walnuts or choke a horse, Gabrielle.” She opened her palm, exposing the muscular palm and long fingers.

“But they’re pretty.” Gabrielle disregarded the words, running soap over the appendage in question. “They fit you.. they’re the right size for you. I remember this lady that lived in Potadeia.. she was kinda short.”

“Like you are.”

“Shorter.”

“Ah. A midget.” Xena’s eyes twinkled more brightly.

“Anyway, her hands were almost the same size as yours.” Gabrielle continued. “They looked really weird.” She examined her handiwork. “But yours are just right.”

Xena reached out and drew a soapy line down Gabrielle’s nose. “If you say so.” She watched the girl’s eyes almost cross watching her finger.  “Know what?”

“What?” Gabrielle blew a bit of bubbles across the water in idle delight.

“You’re cute.”

Green eyes gone round again blinked at her. “I am?”

Xena stroked her cheek, feeling the warmth erupt under her fingertips. “Yes, you are.” She answered seriously. “You’re adorable, and I really like that.”

Gabrielle went seriously tongue tied.

Xena’s lips quirked. “You’re supposed to say something nice back.” She instructed dryly. “And don’t mention my hands, that doesn’t count.”

The blond girl’s lips opened, then she paused and took a breath. “Um…”

“Um?”

“You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

Xena wiggled her brows. “Mm…. nice start.” She complimented her bath mate. “Now, let’s get washed up, so we can continue our discussion someplace drier.”

Gabrielle seriously wondered, after that, if she could possibly have floated out of the tub because she certainly didn’t remember climbing anywhere.

**

They ended up in front of the fire, sitting on the thick rug instead of on the chairs to spare Xena’s back the pressure.  Sitting there in her woven shift, long legs crossed under her, the queen presented a far less imposing sight as she cradled a cup of heated cider in her hands.

Gabrielle suspected she was just getting used to adjusting to the whirlwind she now lived in. Instead of worrying about what was happening, and more important, what was going to happen, she simply enjoyed the feel of the sheepskin rug against her skin, the taste of the cider and the sight of this beautiful intriguing woman almost knee to knee with her.

She likes me. Gabrielle could almost taste the sweetness of the words. She thinks I’m cute. Even Perdicus, back home, who’d been the closest thing she’d had to a boyfriend hadn’t looked at her like Xena was right at that very moment.

Of course, Xena was way more gorgeous mussed and rumpled than Perdicus could have ever been on his best day and Gabrielle was pretty sure she hadn’t looked at Perdy the way she was looking at Xena either.

For a moment, she wondered what had become of Perdicus. He hadn’t been in Potadeia the day the slavers had hit them, and she felt a little awful thinking of him returning home to find everything gone.  She looked up at Xena, who was studying the fire, deep in thought.

What would it have been like to see your family killed, when you were just little?  Gabrielle concentrated and tried to remember what it was like when she was small, when her world had been simple; just mama and da, the baby she remembered Lila as, and warm blankets and sunshine.

She gazed at Xena’s profile, with it’s strong planes and uncompromising angles, and tried to imagine her as a little girl.  It was hard.

As though sensing the observation, Xena shook off her deep thoughts and turned to meet Gabrielle’s eyes. She lifted her cup and sipped it, then extended it in silence towards the girl.

Gabrielle touched it’s side with her own cup, and they both drank.  Xena shifted around so they were facing each other, her kneecaps just brushing Gabrielle’s. “So. Here we are.”

“Here we are.” Gabrielle repeated, with a tiny smile. “I’m.. um… “

“Scared?”

“Not… really, no.”

Xena’s eyebrows hiked up. “Reeeallly?” She drawled, rolling the sound out. “You’re not afraid of me anymore, Gabrielle? I don’t believe it.”

Well…  The blond woman shifted and focused on her cup, it’s gently steaming surface sending the rich scent of apples to her.  She heard Xena shift, and then next thing she knew the queen’s fingers were sliding through her hair and giving it a gentle tug. “I’m not.” Gabrielle peeked at her erstwhile tormenter. “Scared.. I’m just a little.. um...”

“Hm?”  Xena lazily traced one of her slave’s ears, a nicely pink well shaped appendage. “A little what?”  She slid her thumb over Gabrielle’s cheekbone, and felt the almost imperceptible pressure as she leaned into the touch.

“Ne..nervous.” Gabrielle stuttered softly.

“Ahh.”  Xena chortled, almost under her breath. “Why are you nervous, Gabrielle? You been listening to those old woman’s tales about the great mysteries of.. ‘down there’ again?”  She teased. “Afraid what I might do to you? Think you could end up growing a second head or something?”

Gabrielle had to laugh, just a little, at the image. She forced herself to relax and met Xena’s eyes. The firelight softened the ice blue, and she could see again glimmers of humanity behind them. “Not really, no. I mean..” She fingered her cup and smiled. “I’m seventeen, not twelve.”

“Ahh.”  Xena said again. “You know, I usually don’t have these little discussions with my nubile conquests.”  She mentioned casually. “Patience is not my virtue.”

Gabrielle’s eyebrows twitched. “I kind of figured that out.” She said, studying Xena’s face. “I know you can do whatever you want to me, and there’s not much I can do about it.”  She watched a wary cast shield the queen’s eyes. “So why don’t you?”

Xena was silent for a bit, sipping her cider as she considered. “Because I told you I don’t rape slaves, and it’s true. I don’t.”

“Oh.” The blond woman nibbled on her lower lip, then blushed slightly. “Well, is it really rape… if the other person thinks it’s okay?” She stuttered getting the last word out, and her blush deepened to a deep crimson. She snuck a glance at Xena’s face, and caught a mixture of emotion on it that surprised her.

“It depends if the slave is telling the truth… or just wants to gain my favor… or is just too scared to say no.” Xena replied evenly. “Which is it, Gabrielle?” She pinned the slave with a glare, fierce and intent now.

Gabrielle frowned a little, then tilted her head thoughtfully.

“Well?” Xena’s voice dropped to a growl.

“I’m just trying to figure out…” The slave said. “If you’re trying to scare me…” She took Xena’s hand in hers. “Or scare me off.” Holding Xena’s gaze, she lifted her hand up and very gently kissed the knuckles of it. “Which is it, your Majesty?”

And Xena was caught. She stared at Gabrielle for long, frozen moment.

“I don’t want anything from you except what you want to give me.” Gabrielle’s voice was serious, and heartfelt. “Yes, I am scared, and nervous, and I have no idea what I’m getting myself into, and I might even end up dead because of it, but…” She looked down at the queen’s hand, laying still in her own.

The hand slowly lifted, with her fingers clinging to it, and laid itself flat against her cheek. Gabrielle felt Xena’s thumb brush her cheekbone and in the tenderness of the motion, she found the courage to look back up into those fathomless blue eyes.

“But you want to do it anyway.” Xena smiled slowly.

Gabrielle nodded hesitantly.

The queen closed her fingers around Gabrielle’s hand and clasped it, lifting it up and studying it with a darkly feral intensity. Her conscience teetered on the edge for the length of a hearbeat, then plunged over with a sense of dizzying flight.

She closed her hand tighter and looked at her slave. “Me, too.” She uttered, with a grin. “So since you won’t scare off….”

Uh oh. Gabrielle drew in a breath, sensing the rising emotion between them.

“C’mere.” Xena slid her hand around to the back of Gabrielle’s neck and pulled her closer, leaning forward to kiss her. Words were one thing, but Xena knew better than most that the real truth was more often found in the silences between them.

She felt Gabrielle lean against her, a relaxed surrender to her touch that made a fire start in her own guts. She explored the blond woman’s lips, tasting the spiced apple on them as her fingers traced the outline of Gabrielle’s face.

Her body growled, desire pulsing up inside her as she deepened her kiss, allowing her other hand to touch Gabrielle’s side. The ribs under her fingers expanded sharply, and she felt the tiny gasp of air between their lips.

She made a more solid contact, and the warmth of Gabrielle’s body came through the fabric as she explored slowly upward, running her touch over each rib felt clearly through the skin until she reached the firm curve of the slave’s breast.

A small, half surprised sound emerged from Gabrielle’s throat. Xena chuckled softly and probed deeper with her tongue, almost making a refined squawk of her own when Gabrielle’s hand gently stroked her upper thigh.

There was reverence in the touch that charmed her.

Xena came up for a breath of air and watched Gabrielle’s eyelids flutter open, revealing mist green eyes gone almost hazel with passion.   With a smile, the queen rubbed noses with her, surprising a tiny chuckle out of the younger woman as she attempted to catch her breath.

Xena realized she was breathing a little harder as well, and her body was urging her to continue, her fingers tracing a slow line over Gabrielle’s rounded breast and feeling the nipple in it’s center tense under her light shirt.  “Like it so far?” She inquired.

“Uh.” Gabrielle had to swallow before she answered. “It’s.. um..”

“Intense?” Xena breathed in her ear, nibbling the lobe as she heard the air come out of Gabrielle’s chest in an almost subaudible groan. “Mmm… I like someone who appreciates what I do.”

Gabrielle shifted closer and reached out, then paused. “Is it okay if I….”

“Nah.” Xena told her, with wicked cheerfulness. “I’ll break your fingers.”  She nibbled the tip of Gabrielle’s nose and met the blinking green eyes. “Just kidding… go ahead.”

Gabrielle grinned, just a tiny bit, and stroked Xena’s arm as she tilted her head to receive another, more passionate kiss.

Xena found herself enjoying the moment immensely.  She suspected she was going to continue enjoying it, and her body was waking up to the sensation of Gabrielle’s hesitant touch. Half of her conscience still had misgivings, but a greater part of her was taking over, wanting the intimacy with a power that frankly surprised her.

Maybe it was Gabrielle’s innocence.  Xena tugged the laces loose on the slave’s shift. Or maybe it was the way she responded to Xena’s touch as though she were playing a harp and the slave’s utterances were it’s music.

“Wow.” Gabrielle murmured, somewhere near her ear. “You taste nice.”

Or maybe it was that she was just so damn cute. Xena felt her reservations jump out the window. “Thanks.”  She eased the shift off one of Gabrielle’s shoulders and got down to bare skin. “But you know what?”

Gabrielle had found the gap in the front of her robe and she ran a curious finger across Xena’s navel. “What?”

The queen sucked in a breath. “I’d taste a lot better on the bed.”

“Really?”

Xena put an arm around her and pulled her closer, exulting in the heat as their bodies touched. “Trust me.”  She slowly stood, carrying Gabrielle with her.

“I do.”  Gabrielle replied simply. “But I’m not really sure…”

Xena silenced her words with a kiss, pressing her body against the slaves and running her hand down Gabirelle’s side. “Don’t worry.” She whispered into her ear. “I’ll teach you.”

The bed gathered them in. Xena stretched herself out fully, then planned out her attack.

**

Gabrielle watched the candlelight frame Xena’s outline as she settled herself into the soft surface of the bed, her body tingling all over.  Already the fear she’d been filled with was fading, being replaced by excitement and a tickling anticipation.

Xena’s robe was half open. Gabrielle wondered if she should loosen the belt of it, reaching out and taking hold of the soft fabric just as she felt Xena shift closer.

The next thing she felt was a tickle of cool air as her shift was slipped up over her hips, and the solid, almost shocking warmth of Xena’s hand as it touched her skin underneath. Her breathing started speeding up again, making her feel a little lightheaded. She kept hold of Xena’s belt as the queen gently rolled her over, achieving her own goal of pulling that robe open.

Oo.  Gabrielle found Xena leaning over her suddenly. She saw a flicker of light, then realized Xena held a dagger in her hand.  Her throat closed, and she felt her eyes widen as she gazed up at the queen wondering for a long horrible moment if she hadn’t just made a terrible mistake.

Xena must have seen it in her face. The dark haired woman’s head tilted to one side, blunting the intensity of her look and she winked at Gabrielle reassuringly.

The knife came closer, though, and Gabrielle couldn’t help but close her eyes as she felt the pressure of the blade against her belly.

She heard the sound of the knife penetrating the fabric of her shift, a soft popping noise that made her completely stop breathing.  The pressure traveled up her body, but no pain followed it, until she heard the light snap as the blade cut through the laces near her throat.

Then it stopped.

She kept her eyes closed, her heart pounding so fast she couldn’t count the beats. It had stopped being fun, and definitely stopped being exciting.

She felt like crying.

“Gabrielle.”  Xena’s voice was unexpectedly gentle.

Fearfully, she forced her eyes open. The knife was gone, and Xena was leaning over her.

“I’ve got a hole in my back. Wrestling off your dress wasn’t in my plans.” The queen told her.

Gabrielle let out a breath. “Oh.”

“Did you really think I was going to waste all that foreplay just to cut you to pieces?” Xena inquired, an odd note sounding in her words.

Gabrielle felt a touch foolish. “I’m sorry.” She whispered. “I didn’t know what was happening.”

Xena eased down next to her, brushing her body against the slaves. She slid a hand behind Gabrielle’s head and leaned close to her, until they were almost nose to nose. “Listen to me.” She captured the slave’s eyes, letting the reins loose on her own personality a little. “I won’t hurt you.”

Gabrielle exhaled, feeling some of the tension leave her. She very much wanted to believe Xena, and looking up into those candelit blue eyes there was something inside her heart reassuring her that she could. Hesitantly, she lifted her hand up and touched Xena’s cheek, exploring those strong planes curiously as she felt the queen smile under her fingertips. “Okay.”

“You believe me?” Xena asked, easing the cut shift aside and running a hand down Gabrielle’s now bare belly.

Gabrielle nodded, feeling her body respond strongly to the touch.

The queen dipped her head and nipped her slave very lightly on the collarbone, lifting up to meet her eyes again. “I could hurt you, if I wanted to.”

“I know.” Gabrielle whispered.

“But I don’t want to.” Xena said. “I want to make you feel good.”  She cupped Gabrielle’s breast and ran her thumb gently over the nipple. “I want you to  enjoy this, and not be afraid of me. Think you can manage that?”

Gabrielle brushed the back of her knuckles over the queen’s lips, her body already coming up with it’s own answer. She nodded, the need to lose herself again in those beautiful eyes becoming the focus of her thoughts. The fear faded, it’s lingering chill brushed aside by Xena’s lips as they touched hers, bringing that sweet taste back.

Xena’s body pressed against hers.  Gabrielle’s hand brushed against the queen’s hip as she felt Xena’s touch slide up her belly, exploring her curiously.

It felt good. Gabrielle sucked in a breath, swallowing against a suddenly dry throat. Xena’s lips moved lower, suckling at the base of her throat as the queen eased a knee between hers.  It felt very good, and she exhaled, a low sound vibrating her vocal cords unexpectedly.

Xena laughed softly, her breath warming Gabrielle’s skin.

Gabrielle felt that same warmth envelope her breast, then a jolt of sensation nearly made her eyes pop out of her head as Xena’s lips teased and nipped at her. It was an amazing feeling, like little bolts were flying all over her skin and it made her want more of it.

Xena seemed inclined to provide that, because while she kept doing what she was doing, she also started stroking the inside of Gabrielle’s leg and that…

Gabrielle could feel a fire igniting in her guts, warm and strange and more compelling than anything else she’d ever felt before.  It set her heart racing, and she could barely control her body’s response. She tangled her fingers in Xena’s dark hair and curled forward, burying her face in the spicy scented skin of the queen’s neck.

A new coolness, as her underwraps were peeled off and Xena’s touch became very personal indeed.  Gabrielle could feel a pressure building inside her that was almost unbearable as she uttered a groan.

“Hurting you?” Xena’s voice rasped in her ear, accompanied by a lick and a nibble on her lobe.

“N…augh… n..” Gabrielle didn’t know what Xena was doing, but her entire body felt like it was about to go into convulsions.  “Oh!”

“I’m gonna take that as a no.” Xena chuckled, ducking her head and nibbling her way down Gabrielle’s body.  She could feel the slave’s hands clenched in her hair and she explored the slim body with a sense of delighted pleasure. It was as though whatever she did, wherever she touched was just the right thing and place to drive her little friend out of her mind.

She’d never had someone be so responsive to her before, and the power was, even for someone as used to power as Xena, intoxicating.

“Augh.” The groan came out of Gabrielle’s guts this time.

Xena felt Gabrielle’s body pressed against her touch, straining as her touch became a little more insistent. She went a little deeper, and as she did she felt a strong grip take hold of her neck, surprising her with it’s power as Gabrielle’s body arced against her.

The slave let out a yell.

Xena fuzzily thought it was much more pleasant than a scream.

Gabrielle felt like her skin was turning inside out. She grabbed hold of Xena, beyond fear at this point, and clutched her as her body shuddered, convulsing with a sensation so powerful it made her hearing stop for a moment, narrowing down to the thunder of her own heartbeat.

It didn’t stop, but crested and rolled over her, shuddering through her and making her nape hairs stand up straight in an odd chill as the room’s air pass through them.  For a long moment, all she could feel was heat, then her body resumed breathing as the sensation slowed and gentled, and Xena’s lips teasingly captured hers again and coaxed the breath from them.

Gods. All Gabrielle could do was respond weakly, her fingers stroking Xena’s cheek. “Augh.”

“Hmmm…. Is that good or bad?” Xena’s voice wound around her mind.

“Gg…h.. wow.”

“Mm… sounds like a good to me.”  The queen continued her touches, as her slave’s body relaxed against her.

Gabrielle nestled against Xena’s neck, breathing in her scent. “Amaz..ing.”  She uttered. “Wow.”

Xena paused a moment, and glanced down as a thought suddenly occurred to her. “You like?” She felt Gabrielle nod. “Good.”

A tentative touch on her belly surprised her a little. Xena felt the girl’s fingertips explore her with hesitant curiosity.

“Will you  teach me to do that?” Gabrielle whispered.

Xena chuckled. “Oh, I hope so.” She said. “We’ll take it nice and slow. We’ve got plenty of time.”

“Mm.” Gabrielle gave her a sudden, and somewhat unexpected hug. “Heard so many bad stories… wasn’t like that at all.”

“Of course not.” Xena kissed her, confident in her ownership now. “Those stories had men in them.”

“Mm.. yeah.” The slave agreed, tracing Xena’s lips with her thumb. “They don’t know what they’re missing, huh?”

The queen chuckled wickedly, a low, full sound that resonated through her entire chest. “Oh.. you’re a fast learner. Lucky me.”  She chortled softly. “Ready for your first lesson?”

Gabrielle laughed with her, wondering why she’d ever been afraid.

**
But it had been a very long day, and Xena decided to postpone her little instruction session when an injudicious movement of her shoulder woke her abruptly to the memory of the injury she’d suffered. She settled for a period of warmly languid kissing and slow strokes of their hands as they lay quietly together.

Gabrielle had definitely caught on to the idea of saying nice things to her. Xena couldn’t recall when the last time was that she’d been told that often how pretty she was.

By someone who actually meant it. The queen eyed the ceiling, acknowledging her own vanity with a wry smile.  But there was no sense in denying the fact that it felt good and her ego appreciated the attention quite a bit more than she’d thought it would.

Now it was silent, save for the soft popping of the fireplace logs, and dark.  Xena was lying half on her side, one arm around Gabrielle’s relaxed body as she watched the faint, red flickers float across the room.

She was tired and almost sleepy. Soon, she would close her eyes and let the darkness take her, but it felt nice to simply lay in her bed and not be alone, for the first time in a very long time indeed.

Gabrielle was curled up, her body nestling against Xena’s and the queen could just feel the steady warmth of the girl’s breath against her ribs. In the dim light she could see Gabrielle’s profile , half hidden by her disheveled hair and the sight of the just barely visible smile brought a matching one to Xena’s face.

Gabrielle.  Xena rolled the name around in her mind, liking it’s rhythm.

There had been many one night stands in her past. Xena preferred to find someone good looking, and take them to bed, relieving her pent up sexual energy and then tossing them out on their ass before the candles burned lowest.

But not this time. Xena rubbed a bit of the pale hair between her fingers. She had no desire whatsoever to toss Gabrielle out of her bed, out of her quarters, or out of her life.  She liked this kid. She liked her spunk and her innocence, and the powerful heart Xena could sense behind the youthful veneer.

She wanted to keep her. Xena exhaled contentedly. And she always got what she wanted.

**

For a while, Gabrielle just lay there with her eyes closed.

So many things had happened, she wanted to have the time to look at each one of them before she let life continue to flow around her, and this quiet darkness seemed like a good place to do that in.

She could feel Xena’s arm around her, and the warmth of the queen’s body in the cool air of the room was very comforting, as was the now getting to be familiar scent that just seemed to be a part of her.

Gabrielle thought for a minute about where she was. The sureallness of it all almost made her head spin. What had happened to her the night before almost made her head spin.

Remembering how wonderful it had felt almost made other parts of her spin.

So.

Now she really was what everyone thought she was. Gabrielle considered that seriously. The queen’s bedmate.

Her shoulders shook a little as an unexpected giggle emerged. They all said it like it was some kind of horror – Gabrielle suspected now that far from being a despised role, that everyone secretly was envious of it.  Xena had been right – she was a gorgeous woman, and she practically dripped sensuality, so much so that Gabrielle could feel a tingle starting up in her again just thinking about it.

It wasn’t at all like what had gone on down in the barracks. Xena hadn’t treated her like one of the stable animals at all – she’d treated her like….

Gabrielle opened her eyes, the dim light from the window and fireplace showing her bare outlines of Xena’s body inches from her nose. It was hard to remember such a short time ago, when she’d been terrified of this woman.

Xena had treated her like someone she valued. Someone whose well being were important to her.

It was a very special feeling. Gabrielle knew she’d never experienced it before. At home she’d just been one more of the village girls, just another pair of hands, another mouth to feed.

Strange that she’d had to become a slave to experience what this felt like. That seemed so wrong to her, so backwards, but no matter – it was the truth and she was glad she now knew what it felt like to be cared for as just herself.

How long would it last, though? Gabrielle exhaled. Will she get tired of me now?  Now that Xena had gotten what she wanted, would she send Gabrielle back to the kitchens, and select someone else?

“Hey.”

Gabrielle almost jumped off the bed when she felt the light tap on her butt. “Errrguh.” She managed to strangle a yelp and roll onto her back, looking up at Xena. “Um…. Hi.”

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” Xena asked.

“Um.. I was just…”

Xena covered her lips with her fingers. “Let me prove my royal omnipotence.  You were thinking, right?”

Gabrielle nodded.

“What about?”

What about? Should she tell Xena, or would the queen think it impertinent?  Gabrielle nibbled her lip  as she thought. Something about the darkness, and the intimacy robbed her of any fear. “About what happens next.”

Xena chuckled softly. “Can’t even wait for the morning? My my.”

Gabrielle realized how that sounded and had to muffle a giggle. “That’s not what I…meant.”

“Mm.” The queen’s low voice burred against her ears. “You mean, what happens next to you, now that I’ve salaciously seduced you and taken you to bed?”

The blushing thing was really getting old. Gabrielle rubbed her face.

“You get tossed in the midden and used as a dishrag.” Xena told her. “And I move on to the next conquest.”

Gabrielle looked up at her, seeing the briefest flash of light of her eyes. “Really?”

Xena smiled. “No.”

Somehow, part of her had known that. Gabrielle found Xena’s hand lying across her belly and she took it, tangling her fingers with the queen’s.

“I don’t find people I can tolerate, much less like very often. I like to keep them around as long as possible.” Xena went on. “So don’t worry about it.”

“Okay.” Gabrielle snuggled closer. “I’m glad.”

“Oh, you are, huh?” Xena found herself chuckling. “Yeah, me too.” She found herself unexpectedly feeling an impulsive urge and gave into it, gathering Gabrielle into her arms and giving her a hug.  She heard the a surprised gurgle come out of the kid, then Gabrielle was returning the hug with some enthusiasm.

Funny. It made her heart beat almost as fast as Gabrielle’s shy touch the night before.  Xena felt a warm, nameless emotion rising in her, sweet as honey, and it intensified as Gabrielle put her head down on her shoulder and gave her a light, almost feathery kiss on the top of her breast.

Xena rested her cheek against the top of Gabrielle’s head and lost herself in the feeling.  It was so different than anything she’d ever known before, not the fire of sensuality but something much gentler and more encompassing.

She liked it. It made her feel good for reasons that really didn’t have anything to do with sex.  With one hand, she rubbed Gabrielle’s back. The girl had an arm draped over Xena’s stomach and it tightened in a light squeeze.  “You keep doing that, and I’ll keep you around for the rest of your life.”

Gabrielle lifted her head, her eyes visible in the moonlight as she looked at Xena in surprise.

Xena raised an eyebrow at her.

The slave made a tiny, happy face, then put her head back down and gave Xena another hug.

Xena let her eyes close, and in the warmth of this novel sensation, allowed sleep to take her at last.

**

Gabrielle held her head up high as she descended the last few stairs into the kitchen.  She was dressed in one of her blue work tunics, but it was thrown over her leggings and boots against the chill of the stronghold. The weather had turned again before dawn, and it was gray outside and storming.

Heads turned as she entered the room, and she paused a moment to take a quick look around for any of her fellow slave mates and take in a breath of air filled with the nutty scent of porridge.

Not spotting any of her friends, Gabrielle turned and made her way to the hearth, aware of the people edging away from her as she moved through the crowded kitchen.  “Hello.” She greeted the cook in a quiet voice. “I need some breakfast for her Majesty.”

The woman, the same one who had cruelly lashed her and the rest on their first arrival, wiped her hands hastily and nodded. “Yes, of course. What is her Majesty’s pleasure?”

Oh. Gabrielle peered at the foods available Good question.  She wondered if Xena liked porridge, which Gabrielle herself had never been that fond of. Perhaps it had been her mother’s version of it, which had tasted much like the paste the carpenter used to seal the joints in the furniture he made back in Potadeia.

However, there was fruits and nuts, especially the thick black walnuts she’d often collected in the forest to put on it and she figured a loaf of fresh bread would go a long way to making up for it if it turned out Xena felt the same way about cereal that she did. She watched the cook set up a silver tray, two others leaving their tasks and coming over to help.

Silver bowls, painfully polished were set on the tray.  Gabrielle picked up a pitcher at random from the silver ones set by and went to the cider barrel, reflecting that Xena’s policy of eating from the common stock was probably a really really smart idea.

Stanislaus entered from the far side of the kitchen. He spotted her and hurried over, inspecting the tray with a jealous eye. “Good morning, Gabrielle.” He greeted her. “Is her Majesty awake, then?”

“Yes, she is.” Gabrielle answered, unable to quite repress a smile.

The seneschal studied her closely. “I see.”  He murmured. “I have her day’s schedule. I must confirm it with her.” He bustled off importantly, his status apparently reaffirmed by the previous day’s events.

Gabrielle watched him go, looking around and realizing that the atmosphere was indeed different than it had been the prior few days. There was a quietness… a watchfulness that put her nape hairs up, and made her wonder at what Bregos defeat had really accomplished.

She kept an eye on the cooks as the filled the bowl with steaming porridge, and brought her jug of cider over as she picked up a loaf of warm bread on it’s platter with herb butter and set it next to the cereal as the porridge settled into it’s level. “Some of those fruits, please.” She pointed.

One of the helpers brought her a bowl, and she set it on the tray.  Then she picked the silver salver up by it’s handles and turned.  She saw all the eyes avert themselves as she walked across the kitchen to the guarded door, two of Xena’s men standing spraddle legged on either side of the bottom stair.

No one came within a body length of her. An awkward silence surrounded Gabrielle as she passed between the guards and started upward, her passage unhindered and unremarked by them.

She got to the top of the stairs in time to see Alaran crossing the round hallway. He was dressed in his court gear, and appeared slightly preoccupied.

He came over to her and inspected the tray, giving it a brief nod. “Did you watch the bowls?” He asked crisply.

Gabrielle nodded.

“Good.” Alaran guided her towards the queen’s outer chamber. He opened the door and stood back to let her pass, then followed her inside and closed the door behind both of them.

Stanislaus was waiting in the chamber, peering out of the window and watching the weather worsen. Xena was nowhere to be seen, which wasn’t surprising since Gabrielle had left the queen in bed. She eased past the seneschal and went to the inner door, bumping it lightly with her hip to open it. “Excuse me.” She gave them both a brief smile, before she disappeared into the inner bedroom, closing them out with a sense of wry pleasure.

Xena looked up as she entered. The queen was still sprawled in bed, the silk top sheet draped over her naked body as she reviewed a scroll. “That was fast.”

“Well.” Gabrielle set the tray down. “It’s not like I had to cook it.”

The queen chuckled. “Can you?”

“Cook?” Gabrielle looked up from her task. “Sure.”

Xena rolled over onto her side and propped her head up on one hand. “Really. Hm.” She considered. “I think I’m going to have you cook dinner for me tonight, then.” She paused, watching the shyly pleased smile cross Gabrielle’s face. “Twice.”

The blond girl paused in mid motion and peered over her shoulder. Her expression was uncertain.

“Yes, that was about sex.” Xena drawled. “Y’know, Gabrielle, you need to get past that shepherd mentality.”

Gabrielle wrinkled her nose, and ended up grinning bashfully at her. “You have some visitors outside.” She indicated the door.

“Too bad.” Xena said. “Let me guess, Alaran and Stanislaus?”

“Yes.”

Xena rolled onto her back and put a hand behind her head. “If I let them stew out there long enough, maybe they’ll come up with something useful to tell me.” She decided. “Is that cereal?”

“Yes.” Gabrielle mixed in some bits of fruit, and some nuts. Then she drizzled a little honey over the thick porridge.

“I hate that.”

“Me, too.” Gabrielle acknowledged. “But if you put enough stuff in it, it’s not that bad.”

“Mmmm….. “ Xena shook her head. “No, no… there’s nothing you could put in that bowl that would entice me to taste it, Gabrielle.” She paused thoughtfully. “Not even if you climbed in, I don’t think.”

Gabrielle’s shoulders shook . “Is that a challenge to my cooking skills?”  She asked. “Well, I have some bread and fruit here, too.”

“Tch. Giving up so easily?” Xena found herself enjoying the banter immensely. “C’mon, you can do better than that.”

The slave picked up one of the bowls and approached, kneeling down on the carpet next to the bed with her offering. “Could you just taste it?”

“Grrrrrr….” Xena made a face.

Gabrielle grinned. “Please?”

“If I don’t like it, can I cut one of your fingers off?” The queen slitted her eyes and looked extraordinarily fierce for a naked women under a silk sheet.

“Um.” Gabrielle winced and flexed her hands. “If you really want to, I guess.”

Xena kept her waiting for a few seconds, then finally she spoke. “G’wan, if you dare.” She opened her mouth and lifted her eyebrows invitingly.

Encouraged, Gabrielle picked up the spoon.

“Ah ah ah.” Xena shook her head warningly. She wiggled her fingers.

“Oh.” The slave put the spoon down, then gingerly scooped up a bit of the cereal on her index finger. She paused to make sure it was going to stay there, then boldly extended her hand and delivered the stuff into the queen’s waiting mouth.

Xena’s teeth immediately snapped shut on her finger, and held tight.

Gabrielle’s eyes widened.

The queen grinned wickedly, keeping hold of her while her tongue worked at the bit of cereal. After a moment, she opened her jaws and released Gabrielle’s finger, then swallowed with a look of distinct surprise on her face. “Mm.” She licked her lips. “What did you put in that?”

“Did you like it?” Gabrielle examined her hand, which now had faint but distinct teeth marks on it.

“No I hated it, and I just want to make sure no one ever makes anything that tastes like that again.” Xena remarked dryly. “What did you put in there?”

Gabrielle guessed that she was being teased. “Some apple, walnuts, cinnamon, and honey.” She offered Xena a spoonful. “Did you hate it enough to try another mouthful?”

“Give me that.” Xena captured the bowl from her and pulled herself up in bed, the sheet keeping her only barely modest. “Go get your own.”

Gabrielle got up and went back to the tray, pleased at her success. It had been her one modest skill back at home, since she’d been lousy at just about every other homely craft.  She fixed her own bowl and set it aside, then she cut off some slices of bread and spread the herb butter on it.  She poured cider into one of the crystal goblets and brought it, and the bread over to Xena’s bedside.

Xena looked up at her as she knelt again. “You know what your problem is?” She asked bluntly. “You’ve got too many clothes on.”

“B..” Gabrielle bit her tongue accidentally.  “Ow. Um… it’s cold.”

“Not under here it isn’t.” Xena’s eyes twinkled over her bowl of cereal.  She chuckled at Gabrielle’s expression, then she leaned over towards her. “How does the hole in my back look?”

Gabrielle set the bread and cider down on the table and put a hand on the queen’s shoulder, peering at the injury on her back. “Oh.”  She murmured in surprise.  The swollen redness of the skin had greatly reduced, and the place where she’d sewn the wound closed was scabbed over and apparently intact. “Not that bad, really.”

“Mm.” Xena flexed her arm a little. “Feels better.” She straightened and went back to her cereal. “Just needed some rest… matter of fact, I think I’ll decree today stay in bed day.”  She scraped the last of the cereal up and swallowed it. “What do you think about that, slave?”

“Well.” Gabrielle took the bowl. “Do I get to stay in bed too?” She asked, stuttering just slightly.

Xena ran a fingertip along the inside seam of Gabrielle’s leggings, up the inside of her thigh. “Of course.” She said. “Don’t’ you like to spend rainy days in bed, Gabrielle?”

Gabrielle turned and looked outside the window, where sleeting rain was now rattling the panes. “No, I never got to do that.” She admitted. “We weren’t allowed to stay in bed past sunrise, because of all the chores and things we had to do. I was in charge of the animals.”

“Well, this is your time for firsts, isn’t it?” Xena sipped from her cup. “Go get your breakfast. I’ll get rid of the small chittering animals in the next room, then we can induct you into the sleeping in the daylight club.”

Feeling a mixture of sensual excitement and embarrassment, Gabrielle retreated to the tray on the table and picked up her bowl, sitting on the padded chair next to the table and taking a spoonful of it. She was aware of Xena getting up out of bed and going to the bathing room, but she managed to force herself to keep her eyes on her breakfast and not gawk.

Moments later, Xena emerged in a scarlet robe, a thick woven fabric lined with a strip of soft, white fur. She tightened the belt around her waist and walked to the door, giving Gabrielle a wink before she slipped through it.

Ooo… Gabrielle took a bite of bread. Xena had a very sexy walk, and she wondered why she’d just noticed that now.

**

“All right.” Xena walked to her big chair and sat in it, facing her two servants.  “Talk fast. I’ve got plans for today that don’t include either of you.”

Alaran bowed in Stanislaus’ direction.

The seneschal inclined his head politely. “Mistress, I had thought to consolidate your victory by assembling the loyal nobles for a luncheon with you today.”

“No.” Xena shook her head. “No audiences today. I won’t be attending court, or the ballroom for dinner.”

“But…”

“Hearing going? Maybe you’re too old to be doing this.” The queen stated flatly.

“Mistress…” Alaran spoke up. “My esteemed colleague has an excellent notion. The loyal ones would be drawn closer by such an event.”

“I don’t give a damn.” Xena said. “Set them up tomorrow if you want. Not today.”  She pointed to the window. “You think they’d like to travel here in that? I’d spend the rest of the winter season getting the stink of wet wool out of my chambers.”

“Most of them have stayed here in the stronghold, Mistress.” Stanislaus murmured.

“Good. Then have them served in their chambers, with my compliments.” The queen said. “Have the staff put something nice, like roses or maybe a dead rat on the tray. Something to show my gracious appreciation of their loyalty.”

Stanislaus fingered his goatee. Then he nodded. “It would be well, Mistress.” He agreed. “I will arrange for something delightful for them.”  He said. “But for you not to appear today…”

“Will just have to be coped with. If anyone asks, tell them I’m spending the day reviewing the wagers my spies reporting everyone making, to see what punitive action I might want to take.”

Stanislaus grunted, blinking as he absorbed the message. “That will put them thinking.”

“I doubt it, unless they take their pants off and air out their brains.” Xena rolled her eyes.

“Very well, Mistress. Shall I have your service brought for dinner, then?” The seneschal asked. “I believe the cook acquired some pheasant, which she knows you favor.”

Xena grinned. “I have dinner plans already. Tell the cook no thanks.”

With a frown, Stanislaus gave up. He bowed. “Very well, Mistress.”  He executed a neat about face and headed for the outer door, tucking his hands inside the sleeves of his tunic.

Xena waited for him to close the door. Then she turned to regard Alaran. “Well?”

The security chief folded his arms. “There are those who are very discontented, my liege, but they are but few in number, and afraid of your men.” He stated. “The revelry in the barracks last night was prodigious. The men are very pleased, and tell stories of your defeat of Bregos at every corner.”

“Good.” Xena relaxed. “I figured the fight put a cap on things. Keep an ear on those damn troublemaker supporters of Bregos, though. They’re too stupid not to want to try to keep stirring things up.”

Alaran nodded. “Tis possible, my liege. Though after last night’s supper, most of them are wearing high collared shirts.”

They both chuckled.  Xena flexed her hand. “Ah.. been a long time since I did that. Felt good.” She admitted. “It all felt good.”

“And was quite impressive, my lady, as we all remember it to be.” Alaran smiled at her. “It was good, very good for those who were not with you in the field to see that prowess. Many were surprised.”

“Mm.” Xena nodded. “Good to remind them all once in a while.” She shifted, and leaned on one chair arm. “Anything else?”

“You are well, my liege?” Alaran asked quietly. “I thought I saw the bastard get a hit in on you during the fight.”  He watched her closely, without seeming to.

“Never felt better.” Xena replied, in a soft drawl. “Gabrielle’s taken very… very good care of me.”  She stretched her arms up over her head and laced her fingers behind her skull. The pull hurt, but not anywhere near what it had just the day prior. A good night’s sleep, indeed.  “Keep your eyes open, Alaran. Something still doesn’t smell right to me.”

“As you wish, my liege.” Alaran murmured. “Though I think your actions truly did put a halt to the darker machinations.”

Xena’s pale eyes watched him like a hawk’s. “Oh. Well that’s good to hear.” She smiled. “Maybe now we can move on to more profitable ventures. Like expanding the eastern territories, and finding that mysterious kingdom who gifted me with that lovely box.”

Alaran smiled in return. “Just so, my liege. There are far better things for you to turn your attention to.”  He bowed low. “I leave you to your rest, then. The little one, she is also well? Many noted her presence with you the day.”

“Gabrielle is spectacular.” Xena told him. “And you can spread the word for me that seeing her in my presence is something everyone better get very, very used to.”

Alaran’s eyebrows hiked. “Indeed, majesty?”

“Indeed.” Xena replied.

The security chief rubbed the toe of his boot across the stone floor of the chamber, pursing his lips before he spoke. “Majesty, if I might be so bold.. one of the issues that brought on Brego’s feeble attempt at insurrection is the uncertainty the nobles feel about the continuity of your reign.”

“Too bad.” Xena said. “Tell them I’ll leave the throne to the nicest looking donkey in the pits if I want to. I won’t have them dictating my life, Alaran.”

“Mistress…”

“OUT!” Xena lost her temper with shocking suddenness. “Leave me!”

Holding both hands up, Alaran backed off. “As you will, Mistress.”  He backed all the way to the door and left the room, never taking his eyes off the glaring woman in the chair by the window.

Xena sat there until the flush of anger faded. Her hands twitched on the arms to her chair, and she closed her eyes, trying to rid herself of the roil of emotion Alaran’s protestation raised.

The inside door slowly opened, and Gabrielle’s blond head appeared around the edge of it.

Xena stood up and straightened her robe, then stepped down from her chair and walked to the inner door. “So much for that.”

“You know something?” Gabrielle opened the door for her and stood back so she could enter. “I don’t think I like those guys.”  She told Xena. “I just don’t.”

Xena put an arm around her and pulled her close, delighted when that nice feeling happened again. “They have their uses, Gabrielle.” She told the girl. “Don’t’ worry about them. Now. Where were we? I think I told you to lose the clothes, didn’t I?”

Sleet rattled the panes of the window, and they both looked at it. Xena dismissed the irritation she’d felt moments before and concentrated on Gabrielle’s close presence.  Alaran was an old worry wart, and had been for years. The nobles may grumble, but Xena knew when it came right down to it, they wouldn’t have the guts to challenge her.

Didn’t what happened with Bregos prove that?  Who cared what they wanted?

“C’mere.” Xena bent her head and kissed Gabrielle’s lips, tasting the cider on them.  She had what she wanted, right here.

To Hades with all of them.

**

Continued in Part 10

Shadows of the Soul

Part 10

The storm raged outside.  Gabrielle only heard it at the edges of her awareness, though, as she concentrated on her first time exploration of another person’s body.  Xena’s skin was soft, and had a silky quality to it, but as Gabrielle had discovered, under that layer of softness lay coiled power, muscle and bone that shifted and moved as she tried to apply what she’d learned the previous night.

Xena made interesting noises. Gabrielle discovered quickly that if she did something the queen liked, she purred. Not like a cat, but it was a low, rumbling sound deep in her chest. She heard it the first time when she shyly cupped Xena’s breast in her hand and stroked it. She heard it again when she replaced her fingers with her mouth, at first tentatively and then with more confidence as she ran her tongue over the nubbly edges of her nipple.

It was intoxicating, hearing that sound. Gabrielle felt a burn start in her own guts as she proceeded delicately, her other hand stroking the queen’s other breast as Xena’s fingers moved in a slow rhythm through her hair.

She pressed her bare body against Xena’s, reveling in the heat that contrasted the cool air of the room. Her thigh slid between the queen’s, and she felt a sudden pressure as her leg was clamped briefly, and then released.  She slipped her hand down Xena’s side, following the curve of her hip to her upper leg, feeling the incredible power under her fingertips before she traced a line down the skin on the inside of her thigh and got another purrl.

It was a little dangerous, a little intimidating. Gabrielle wasn’t really sure of what she was doing and the chance she might do something dumb or worse was definitely on her mind as she tried very hard to remember what had made her feel the best, though through all that pleasure things were pretty much a hazy, erotic blur.

She hoped Xena would feel that way too. Gabrielle pledged to try her best to make sure of that. Her entire body was tingling, remembering what it was like to feel the queen’s sure touch on her and she closed her eyes, rubbing her body along Xena’s as she gently explored her.

This time she got a growl.  Gabrielle opened one eye and looked up, to find a fiercely grinning Xena looking back at her. “Did I do something wrong?” She caught a breath.

“Noooooo.” Xena lifted herself up using just her stomach muscles and kissed Gabrielle on the mouth. “I shoulda known someone who cleaned under the bed would figure this out without a problem.”  She cupped Gabrielle’s face in one hand. “Just don’t bite me.”

“Bite?” Gabrielle blinked. “I would never do that.”

“Good girl.” Xena kissed her again, reveling in the tingling her body was experiencing.  She let her body back down and went back to wrestling with her will, so accustomed to taking charge it was difficult for her to just lay back and let Gabrielle experiment. She wanted to take hold of the girl, and show her there.. and there.. and this.. but equally as strongly, she wanted to see what surprises Gabrielle might have for her.

Like that. Xena bit off a groan as Gabrielle’s tongue found a sensitive spot. Her hands clenched on the sheets and she felt her body surge up, pressing against Gabrielle’s as the slave bore down a little, her weight shifting as she slid lower.  Her touch was hesitant, but Xena could feel the reaction deep inside her guts and this time she didn’t block the low sound of appreciation.

She could sense Gabrielle pause, and she felt the shoulderblade under her left hand heave as she took a deep breath  before her attentions became very intimate. A light stroking became more confident as she uttered approval,  and then everything connected and she lost track of where she was as her body curled around Gabrielle’s in a series of sudden, and shuddering contractions.

For a moment, she couldn’t even breathe. Then her lungs forced themselves open and she sucked air into her chest, letting out a heartfelt groan as she exhaled. It had been a very long time since she’d let someone else do that to her. She loosened her grip on Gabrielle and felt the girl start breathing herself again, and fuzzily she realized that she’d probably scared the fleece off her yet one more time.

But she had to catch her breath before she could fix that. Tingling shudders were still working their way through her and she felt Gabrielle’s touch gentle, stroking her lightly as she mindlessly caressed the girl’s face, pressed against Xena’s belly.

After she felt her breathing settle a little, she pulled Gabrielle up closer and kissed her, feeling the heated flush on the slave’s face through her fingertips. “Good job.” She whispered into a very pink ear. “I’ll keep you.”

She felt Gabrielle smile.  Her hands traveled over Gabrielle’s body, noting the arousal at her touch that made her smile, recognizing the response as a nascent craving for her that charmed the queen down to her very toes.

Yeah. She’d keep her. Xena closed her eyes as feather light kisses traveled up her throat. For sure.

**

Xena was curled on her side, watching the storm rattle the leaded window panes. She didn’t really have any ambition to move, trading off her attention to the weather with the more interesting vision of Gabrielle’s slight form busy over near the fire.

Her new bedmate was making lunch. Xena was personally inclined just to have Gabrielle for lunch, but she admitted a bowl of whatever it was that smelled wonderful over there wouldn’t be too bad for an appetizer either.

Having someone cook for her personally, like this, was a very novel experience.  Most of Xena’s prior bed partners had weaker cooking skills than she did, and the rest she would not have trusted with a spoon, much less a chopping knife in her presence.

It wasn’t as though she didn’t have servants, she had plenty of them. But none of them really wanted to do things for her. They had to. Gabrielle, Xena was convinced, really liked doing things for her, and wanted to.

Or at least, she’d told herself that.

But as she watched Gabrielle’s profile, relaxed and smiling as she worked, it was hard to force herself to believe otherwise. “Hey, Gabrielle?”

“Hm?” The girl looked up from her task.

“C’mere a minute.”

Gabrielle set the pot she’d just stirred to one side of the fire and got up, crossing the stone floor on silent bare feet to Xena’s side. She knelt by the bed, pushing the fair hair back out of her eyes as she did and waited, watching Xena’s face.

Xena could see all the way back through the crystal clear depths of her eyes. Open. Trusting. “Do you like me?”

Surprised.

“W..” Gabrielle stopped and blinked, her thoughts going briefly internal. “Do I like you?”

“That’s what I asked you, yes.” The queen replied patiently. “Do you?”

The girl’s face went still, as she searched Xena’s face. “Like you.” She spoke softly, almost reflectively. “I liked my friends at home. I liked the lambs. I liked watching the stars at night when the sheep were birthing.”

What the heck was that supposed to mean? Xena’s brows creased.

“I think I more than like you.” Gabrielle went on, suddenly. “Because I feel more about you than I did for any of those things.”

Oh.  That sounded pretty good. Xena reasoned. “Ah. Okay. Good.”

“Why?” Gabrielle asked, curiously.

“I just wondered.” The queen said. “It’s not a condition I’m very familiar with.” She added. “Most people don’t. Like me, that is.”  She ran her fingers through Gabrielle’s hair. “I was hoping you did.”

Gabrielle smiled. “I do.”

“Even despite the fact that I’m a hedonistic despot, and you’re my helpless slave?” Xena asked. “Even despite the fact that I had your sister killed?”

“You didn’t kill my sister.” Gabrielle responded in a quiet voice. “You had slaves killed, one of whom happened to be my sister. That’s a big difference to me.”  She said. “And you didn’t make me a slave. You just bought me as one.”

Xena mulled that over. “Took a lot of thinking to come up with that, didn’t it?”

Gabrielle nodded.

Xena touched her cheek. “I’m glad you can think.”  She rubbed her thumb across Gabrielle’s cheekbone. “But I notice you didn’t refute the hedonistic despot part.” A twinkle appeared in her eyes.

The girl’s eyes dropped briefly, and her lips twitched in to a smile.

“I’m glad you like me, Gabrielle. Despite all that.” Xena heard the sincerity in her own voice, and she guessed Gabrielle did as well, because she looked up and her face went serious. “I am glad.”

They looked at each other in silence for a little while.  “So, what’s for lunch.” Xena nudged her in the belly with her knuckles. “I can hear you growling from here.”

Gabrielle glanced down at herself, then grinned ruefully. “It’s a soup I used to make for us when we were out in the fields.” She said. “Nothing fancy.”

“It doesn’t have lamb in it, does it?”

“No.” Gabrielle got up and returned to the fire, stirring her creation with a wooden spoon. “But we used to have this, and bread and cheese.” She poured some of the homey soup into one of the china bowls and set it on the tray, then she carefully took the slice of bread she’d toasted over the fire and put it on a plate, topping it with fragrant goats cheese. Surveying her handiwork, she picked up the tray and carried it over to Xena’s bedside.

“Whoa… no crumbs in bed.” Xena grinned, as she peeled the covers back and slid out from under them, standing up and motioning Gabrielle back the way she came. “Over there.”  She picked up her robe and put it on, tying it as she joined the blond woman in front of the fireplace. She settled in the big, comfortable chair and watched as the tray was set down next to her. “That’s better.” She pointed. “Sit.”

Obediently, Gabrielle retrieved a bowl for herself, along with a slice of bread and cheese. She settled in the other chair and pulled her legs up crossed under her, setting her bread and cheese down on one knee while she took a spoonful of the soup.

A loud rumble of thunder made her look up towards the window, and as she looked away, she caught Xena’s eye.

The queen slowly shook her spoon at her. “You can cook.” She pointed at the soup. “This beats anything that overstuffed imported chef downstairs ever gave me.”  Xena took a bite of her toast and cheese and winked at her. “I can almost taste you in it.”

Predictably, Gabrielle blushed. She grinned with pleasure at the praise, though, and played with a spoonful of her own soup before she sipped it.  Her mind kept going back to Xena’s question, though, and she pondered over her answer as they both at their lunch.

Xena had been right. It had taken her a lot of thought to come to terms with how she felt, and to understand the guilt she still experienced because of it. She had to deal with herself honestly, though, and she couldn’t deny the strength of what she felt for Xena.

What was more, she didn’t want to deny it. A very pragmatic part of her simply told her that it was in her own, bald, self interest to remain in close contact with Xena, to help her, to serve her, to make her happy. The pragmatism helped assuage the guilt, but if she was truly honest with herself, she knew that pragmatism had nothing to do with the deep, wild, passionate emotion she felt when she looked into Xena’s eyes.

Like her? “Xena?” Gabrielle heard herself say.

“Yeeeesss?” The queen responded, around a mouthful of bread and cheese.

Gabrielle looked up and over at her, meeting those incredible blue eyes. “I love you.”

Xena stared at her for a long moment. Then she swallowed. “Do you?”

Gabrielle nodded.

The queen looked deeply introspective for a long moment. Then her eyes dropped to the bowl in her hand. “Well.” She murmured softly. “Maybe that’s the little something extra in this then. Now I know what love tastes like.”

Gabrielle sucked her spoon in unexpected delight. “That’s a really poetic thing to say.”

Xena’s eyebrow quirked. “Don’t’ start that with me.” She warned, with a smile that belayed the tone.

“Yes, ma’am.” Gabrielle smiled back.

“Don’t start that either.”

Their eyes met and in the silence between them, Xena’s spoke volumes that Gabrielle drank giddily in, wondering if the queen even realized it.

Thunder rolled again, and she decided she was beginning to really like rainy days.

**

“Tell me a story.” Xena settled her arms around Gabrielle’s waist, as she let her head rest against the chair back. They’d finished lunch, and she’d pulled the blond woman into her lap and now they were just relaxing and watching the rain fall.  “A funny story.”

“Funny?” Gabrielle repeated.

“Yeah, you know… makes you laugh?” Xena released one arm and ran her fingers down Gabrielle’s bare ribs.

The reaction was totally unexpected. Gabrielle squealed, and almost convulsed, bursting out into a flood of giggles.

“Whoa.” Xena gave her companion an interested look. “Now that’s ticklish.” She repeated the experiment, with much the same results. “Gabbbbrriiieeellle.” She purred in the girl’s ear, chuckling herself.

“Eee….oh, stop.. please..” Gabrielle squirmed, trying to grab at Xena’s agile fingers. “Oooo…”

“Ho ho ho.” Xena was delighted with this new diversion.

“Yow!”

Xena started laughing.

“Aieeee!!!”

“Whoa, not in my ear.” Xena was still laughing, but she gave Gabrielle a break and ceased her torture, folding her arm around the slave’s middle again and giving her a squeeze. “See? You didn’t even have to tell a story to get me to laugh.”

“Ugh.” Gabrielle giggled a few more times as she rubbed her face. “I’m sorry. I forgot I was so.. um.. wow.” She inhaled deeply. “Okay…. Um, a funny story, right?”

“Uh huh. Has to be funnier than that noise you just made.” Xena informed her. “So you better come up with something good, because that was pretty damn funny.”  A sexy grin spread across her face. “Or else I’ll have to go find my own amusement again…” She freed one hand and wiggled the fingers.

“Eerrrr.” Gabrielle settled down. “Well, I’ll try. Let’s see.. would you like to hear about Horace the pig?”

“Horace the PIG?” The queen gave her a look. “Oh, I can see where this is going.”  She wiggled her fingers again.

“Noo..no.” Gabrielle quickly took hold of the threatening hand. “Really, it’s funny.” She instinctively laced her fingers with Xena’s, feeling the power in them as the queen casually tightened her grip.

“Oh yeah?’  Xena regarded their clasped hands curiously. “How funny can a pig be?”

“When you put grease on it, very.” Gabrielle reassured her.

“Grease?” A dark eyebrow cocked suspiciously. “You put grease on a pig?”

“Well.. sort of yeah… it was kind of an accident but…”

“Okay. Let’s hear it.” Xena put her feet up on the small poufy stool designed for the purpose. She noticed that Gabrielle seemed to have no inclination to let her hand go, and since it made her feel good, Xena had no inclination to pull it loose.

It was very strange, this feel good thing.  Xena searched her memory and tried to find another instance of it, and despite her wide and varied experience she had to admit she couldn’t.  Holding Gabrielle’s hand felt good. Sitting next to her felt good. Touching her felt good. In fact, she couldn’t hardly seem to make herself let go of the kid.

She was glad Gabrielle liked her. No, Xena corrected herself. Loved her.

Loved her. Now there was another strange thing. Xena had not expected the slave to tell her that, regardless of the truth of it.

Or maybe she had expected it. Xena blinked, feeling a very unusual sense of confusion.  She’d felt very good when she’d heard Gabrielle say that, in a way she’d never known before.  In a vague way, she thought she knew why – there had been many people in her past who’d said that to her, but this was, she knew, the first person she’d wanted to hear it from.

And she had.

“Xena?”  Gabrielle’s voice broke into her musing. “Are you okay?”

“Sure.” Xena cleared her throat. “What makes you think I’m not?” She asked sharply. “What’s going on with the pig?”

“Well.” Gabrielle was mindful of the fact that she was in easy reach of those darn fingers. “I was just making pig noises, and you didn’t react, so I figured…”

“What?” The queen eyed her. “You were not.”

Gabrielle blinked innocently at her.

“You were?”

“Oink.” Gabrielle snorted softly. “Oink.. oink…”  She grinned at the look on Xena’s face. “Yeah, I was.”

“Hmph.” Xena maintained her dignity. “I was thinking.” She said. “Do that again.”  She instructed. “G’wan.”

Gabrielle obediently snuffled and oinked.

Xena snickered at her. “That’s pretty damn cute.” She leaned over lazily and nibbled Gabrielle’s ear, making the oink break and rise into a squeak. “Now, that’s a funny little piggie.” She stopped and her brow creased.  “Did I say that?”

Gabrielle giggled softly.

“Okay, okay. Get on with the story.” The queen settled back and paid attention, setting aside the annoying and confusing thoughts buzzing around her head. “Then maybe we’ll go downstairs and I’ll pick what I want you to cook for dinner.”

Gabrielle squirmed around a little so she could look up and watch Xena’s face as she spoke.  The fire crackled happily nearby and it’s light softened the strong planes of the queen’s face, giving it a gentler cast. A tiny hint of a smile kept pulling at Xena’s lips,  and Gabrielle knew the same tension was present on her own, as she let herself feel a moment of emotion she understood to be happiness.

It felt really weird. She wasn’t scared, and she wasn’t worried, she was just really glad to be curled up with Xena in this big, comfortable chair telling stories next to the fire.

“Okay, so once upon a time, there was a pig named Horace.”

“Why?” Xena asked suddenly.

“Hm?”

“Why Horace?”

“Why not?” Gabrielle asked. “Anyway, Horace the pig got up one day, and…”

“Did you name him?”

The slave halted her speech, and regarded the queen. “Um….”

The blue eyes twinkled. “I’m a lousy listener, huh?”   Xena pulled her a little closer and let her cheek rest against Gabrielle’s fair head. “Sorry. G’wan.”

“Once upon a time, there was a pig named Horace.” Gabrielle intoned. “He lived on a farm with all his brothers and sisters, and his mother, Eunace.”

Xena started laughing silently.

“Eunace liked to chew on her stall, and when she did that, she made a little hole in the corner of it. The hole was too small for Eunace to get through, but she chewed, and chewed and chewed, and it was still too small for her, but not…”

“For Horace.”

“Right.” Gabrielle pulled their clasped hands up to lay against her chest. “So Horace, being a very smart little pig, squeezed out through the hole and went adventuring.” She could still feel Xena chuckling.  “This isn’t the funny part yet.”

The queen snickered. “You named your pigs.”

“Sure.” Gabrielle said. “Don’t you?”

“Gabrielle, I don’t name things I’m going to eat.” Xena told her, then paused and smirked. “You already came with a name, so that didn’t count.”

Gabrielle snuck a hand inside the queen’s robe and tickled her ribs, operating on wild instinct.

“Ah!” Xena yelped. “Hey!”

The slave tickled her again. “Oh, my.” She felt the skin twitch under her touch. “Your majesty, I think you’re ticklish.”

“Am not.” Xena scrabbled at the hand inside her rob. “Never have been, never will… hey!!!”  She wrapped her arms around Gabrielle since she was unable to get hold of those little fingers and lifted her up bodily, rising from the chair and leaping with her onto the bed. “Now, we’ll see who’s tickling who.”

“Oh…oh..oh….yikes!” Gabrielle squirmed, but the queen had her shift off in  the blink of an eye, and she was being assaulted by light touches that started on the backs of her thighs. “Ooooooooooo!!!!”

“Bet this is worse..” Xena chuckled evilly, reaching down and tickling her behind the knees.

“Auggghh!” Gabrielle confirmed it with a tortured holler. “Eeeyoooo!!!!!”  She twisted and curled up, then reached behind the queen’s leg to get her back. “Ah!”

“Why, you little…” Xena started laughing, this time much harder, and with some abandon. “I’ll get you for that! You won’t be able to stand up when I’m done with you!”  She flipped Gabrielle over onto her back and pinned her legs down, then attacked her ribs.

The girl let out a yell that made Xena’s eyes pop wide open.  She quickly leaned over and kissed her to prevent a repeat, her mischevious fingers slowing their motion and moving from teasing to seductive.  When she lifted her head, she looked down at Gabrielle’s face, the girl’s eyes now closed and her mouth sporting a grin.

Xena circled Gabrielle’s navel with the tip of her finger, and felt the surface start to rock as she chuckled. The misty green eyes opened and gazed up at her. They smiled at each other.

Then the girl got a hand free and got to Xena’s ribs again. “Geerrrrrr!!!” Xena wriggled away, rolling onto her side to escape. She tangled her limbs with Gabrielle’s and they fought for skin space, reducing each other to an unexpected ball of laughter in the center of the bed.

Xena let the chuckles work their way out of her, feeling pleasantly tired from the unfamiliar exercise. She wrapped her arms and legs around her new little bedmate and pulled her close, with a sense of pure, animal content alien in it’s sudden presence.

She had a vague suspicion she might actually be happy.

For the moment, anyway.

**

“Not that stairwell.” Xena pointed to the main one instead. “I hate it. Damn thing’s too small, and it stinks.” She lead the way across the round hall, neatly flicking the folds of her long robe out of her path. The storm had kept up outside, and a damp draft was blowing through the stronghold, fluttering the torches in their iron sconces on the wall.

Gabrielle was glad to follow her. She looked around her as she walked down the grand staircase, absorbing the grandeur of the narrow, woven tapestries on the wall that alternated with iron columns and the occasional slit window. “This is nice.”

“It’s a stair.” Xena glanced around.

“Well, it’s much nicer than the stair I know.” Gabrielle amended, with a smile. And certainly much wider. Six men could walk abreast up the steps and not touch, she reckoned.

“Ahh…. That’s right. You didn’t get the snooty tour, didja?” Xena said. “Well. I can fix that.”

“I don’t think I got any tour. Stanislaus warned me not to wander.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Xena muttered. “Can’t have the slaves sightseeing in all the nooks and crannies, can we? Might find a hole to hide in.”

Gabrielle looked at her, not really sure of what the tone or content of her words meant. She wasn’t sure if Xena was making fun of the slaves, or making fun of Stanislaus and his rules, or what.  There was truth in the statement, she knew, though. Given a chance, anyone she’d met downstairs, who wasn’t in a position like Stanislaus, or cook’s, would gladly escape into a hidey hole if they could. “Hm.” She grunted. “Well, you could always treat them better.”

Xena looked at her.

Gabrielle shrugged slightly. “I mean, you could make them want to be here. Like you said, life is pretty tough outside. I think maybe if people made the choice to trade their freedom for a place to live and lots of good food, they’d work a lot better.”

“Gabrielle, you’ve obviously lived your whole life on a sheep farm. Nobody wants to be a slave.”  The queen added a bit of a grin to soften the mean words. “Voluntary servitude.. do you see the contradiction there?”

“Yes,  I do.” Gabrielle skipped a step to keep up with Xena’s long strides, admiring her companions’ proud, erect posture and graceful walk. “But…like you were saying the other day, isn’t everyone really a slave to something? I mean, look at the army.”

“They’re not slaves.” Xena stated firmly.

“No, but they agree to work for you, and die for you, don’t’ they?”

“For a fee, sure. For board, food, and cash.” Xena said. “It’s not slavery, it’s a job.”

“Okay.” Gabrielle glanced up, to see huge banners crossing the roof they were walking under.  “Can they just stop and leave?”

No answer. Gabrielle looked over at the queen, who was watching her with hooded eyes. “Can they?”

Xena looked away as they reached the bottom of the steps, giving the two guards standing there a brief nod. They braced to attention and put a hand over their chests, keeping their eyes straight forward.  She indicated a long, grand hallway leading off to the right and started down it, remaining silent until they had passed the first set of closed, ornate wooden doors set into deep alcoves on either side. “I’m not fond of deserters.” She finally said. “Most of the men know that.”

Gabrielle absorbed the words. “Okay, so..”

“Gabrielle.” Xena stopped walking, and turned to her. “This conversation is done.”  Her tone dropped into uncompromising seriousness.

The slave paused and returned her gaze for a moment. She took a breath. “All right.”

Xena turned and resumed walking. After several minutes of silence, she glanced behind her, to where Gabrielle was quietly following, her head bent slightly and her eyes fastened on the stone floor. The slave’s words had nettled her, and she’d come close to letting her temper loose on the kid.

Maybe Gabrielle knew that.  Xena studied the slave’s profile out of the corner of her eye. Besides, she was talking nonsense.  Xena didn’t have time to listen to nonsense.

So… you were asking for a story about pigs….why?  Her annoying conscience spoke up suddenly. To gain.. valuable data about the husbandry skills of the far western peasants in case you decide to invade them, right?

Xena almost booted her conscience out the nearest slit window. Shut up. She ordered it. That was different.

“I’m sorry, did you ask me something?” Gabrielle spoke up, in low tone.

“No.” Xena replied gruffly.

“Oh. Sorry.”

They continued walking along. After a bit, Gabrielle straightened up, squaring her shoulders back and lifting her chin.

Xena kept a corner of her eye on the kid. They entered the big hall that opened up to the dining chambers on one side, and the sloping ramp down to the kitchen on the other. She stopped just inside the door, and reached out to take hold of Gabrielle’s shoulder.

The blond woman stopped and waited.

“I remember the first time I stepped inside this place.” The queen spoke in a quiet voice. “I’d just conquered the previous king’s army, and beheaded the bastard on the field.”

Gabrielle turned and looked at her.

“I was covered in blood.. in dirt, in horse crap, you name it.” Xena went on. “And I came in here, through that door..” She pointed to the huge, double hung portal. “After fifteen years of having no home at all, now I had this.”  She moved closer and draped her arm over Gabrielle’s shoulders. “I had to figure out a way to keep it. Some of the things I did were cruel, and they were meant to scare people so badly they’d just do what I said and not question.”

Gabrielle relaxed a trifle, hearing the words under the words.

“A lot of men died getting me this.” Xena looked at her with utter seriousness. “I’m not making any changes that are gonna risk losing it.”

Gabrielle took a breath. “Wasn’t what I meant.” She replied softly. “I want to make it stronger for you. I want people to look at you, and feel happy to be here.” A pause. “Like I am.”

Xena felt the hitch in her breathing as she got caught in that gentle regard. “It’s.. a nice thought.” She said. “But it’s never gonna happen, kid.” She gave her head a little shake, and jerked her chin towards the ramp. “C’mon. Let’s go see what trouble we can get into.”

After a brief hesitation, Gabrielle decided to table her argument for the moment. She put her arm around Xena’s waist and walked along side her, holding back a tiny smile as she felt Xena pull her a little closer, almost as if in comfort.  Experimentally, she gave the queen a squeeze, and saw a smile appear on her face. “Xena?”

“Mm?”

“I’m sorry I made you angry. I didn’t mean to.. I just wanted you to think about what I was saying.”

The queen exhaled. “I wasn’t angry.” She said. “I was almost angry, but you didn’t quite get me there. Maybe next time.”  She released Gabrielle as they reached the ramp, twitching her robe straight as she approached the entrance.

Two guards on either side of the hall snapped to attention as she came even with them. She lifted a hand and they relaxed, their eyes following Gabrielle’s slighter form with interest as she trotted after the queen.

This hall was smaller than the upper ones, but it was still far grander than the kitchen tunnels. Gabrielle noticed long trestle tables tucked against the walls on either side and she reached out to run her fingers over one as they passed.

Staging areas, she remembered, where trays of food and drink were poised for delivery to the banqueting hall on the half level above.  Ahead of her, she could smell the kitchen, smoke from the fires and the scent of roasting meat foremost.  Dinner smelled like beef, and even though they’d had a nice sized lunch, her stomach was growling at the thought.

Gabrielle sighed.

“Is that you?” Xena chuckled. “I’m gonna have the healer check you for worms.”  She ruffled Gabrielle’s hair affectionately. “We’d better get something easy for you to cook. Don’t want you passing out from hunger or anything.”

They entered the kitchen. Eyes went to them in startled surprise, then most of the staff either bowed or dropped to their knees.

Xena paused, framed in the doorway, and put her hands on her hips. She surveyed the kitchen with a pair of very icy blue eyes. She could see signs of faint neglect in the corners, and a sense of displeasure settled itself squarely in her guts.  With cold deliberation, she stalked across the room and went to the spits, studying them carefully.

Then she turned and pinned the cook with a glare. “When were those cleaned last?”

“Mm… majesty?” The cook clasped her hands over her ample chest. “O..only this last week.. it’s just we’ve been so busy and…”

Xena crossed the kitchen and took hold of the woman’s hair, pulling her head up and back so she was forced to meet the queen’s eyes. “Too busy to make sure we don’t all die of poison and dirt?” She growled. “I think you’ve got your priorities wrong.” She flexed her other hand and closed her fingers around her dagger, already aiming for a spot under the woman’s chin. “And frankly, I’m sick of your food.”

Gabrielle knew she only had seconds. She bolted across the floor and got up next to Xena, threading an arm through the queen’s knife wielding one and putting a hand on her shoulder. “Your majesty.” She pleaded. “Remember the games. It’s been very hectic.”

Xena had frozen when Gabrielle touched her, there, in the middle of the kitchen in front of all the slaves. Fortunately, her body had gone still instead of reacting and that, that alone was what saved Gabrielle’s life.  She turned her eyes on the blond woman and let the rage surface.

Gabrielle didn’t look  away. “It was.” She shrugged a tiny bit. “But I’ll stay here and clean it.”

That brought Xena out of her paralysis. “The Hades you will.” She got out in a clipped tone, before she turned back to the cook. “I will be back down here tomorrow morning. If there is one speck of dirt in this place, you’ll die, and fill your spot with one of the cows from the stockyard.”

The woman’s jaw trembled.

Xena released her, wiping her hand on the woman’s chemise with an expression of distaste. Then she focused her attention on Gabrielle, who was still clinging to her arm.

Gabrielle released her, and stepped back, watching her face. Then she waited.

Xena realized suddenly that the girl fully expected her to hit her. That she’d chosen her course of action knowing that the result was going to be punishment, and pain.  Her hand clenched into a fist, and she watched Gabrielle’s eyes close and her brow tense involuntarily. The queen had every right to do it, Xena knew that, and she knew not only did she have the right, it was expected of her.

And yet, she couldn’t. She let a breath out with an explosive sigh and turned away.  Damn it.

Damn it.

She turned back to find Gabrielle watching her with an quiet, warm… unfathomable look. It made her shiver, because things were happening inside her guts she didn’t even begin to understand.

DAMN IT.

**

Xena was really upset.  Gabrielle sat quietly by the fire, laying out the things the queen had picked out and deciding what to do with them.  Behind her, Xena was pacing back and forth, her agitated tension so apparent it was making Gabrielle’s teeth ache just listening to her.

It made her anxious, she realized, and she gazed unhappily at an onion as she felt her stomach tie itself into knots. Part of that was because she knew she’d done something, several somethings, that had really angered Xena, and outside of being scared of what the queen might do, she found herself unexpectedly hurting to have lost the relaxed companionship they’d shared only hours earlier.

Absurdly, she felt like crying and it had nothing to do with the onion.  It was like the time she’d broken her mother’s old mixing dish, the one she’d had from her own mother. It had been an accident, but Gabrielle had seen the grief in her mother’s eyes, and she’d known there was nothing she could do to bring the shattered bowl back.

That was how she felt, like she had the shattered pieces of something she’d only just begun to know in her hands, with no way to put them back together again and make them whole.

It made her sad.

With a sigh, she put the vegetable down and pulled a tray over. It contained two large fish, their blank eyes glaring balefully at her in the firelight.  Fish weren’t something she’d had a lot of experience with, since the only stream close by Potadeia had served the village for everything and the fish tended to keep their distance.

Once in a while, though, her father had traded some mutton, or a skein of wool for the occasional string of trout and she’d seen her mother carefully preparing them.   So now, she studied the fish, trying to decide whether to filet them or not.

A slight crash made her jump. She turned, to find Xena sprawled in one of the big chairs, her head resting against her fist, a sullen, dour look on her face. Cold blue eyes were fastened on Gabrielle, and she knew if she tried to filet anything under that gaze, she’d end up losing a thumb at least.

Well, Gabrielle.. you got yourself into this. You got her mad. Now go do something about it.  Gabrielle gathered her courage and wiped her hands off, then she got to her feet and approached Xena’s faintly twitching form.  The queen’s eyes followed her as she took the next seat and folded her hands in her  lap.

“Problem?” Xena asked, sharply.

It was as though they’d never been close at all. Gabrielle had to stop, and swallow a huge lump that formed in her throat.

“Well?” The queen barked.

No. Gabrielle felt the pain all the way down into her soul. The bowl was broken.  She got up without a word and went back to the fire, kneeling down next to the fish and picking up the small, rounded blade she’d set down before. Tears fell from her eyes onto the wooden trencher, darkening it as she quietly worked, her own breathing sounding harsh in her ears.

She heard Xena get up, but she kept her back to the queen and her head down even when she felt Xena’s close presence at her back.

And then she almost slipped and cut herself when the queen took a seat right next to her on the ground. She chanced a peek, and found Xena’s face so caught in turmoil it was hard to look away.

So she didn’t.  She sat back on her heels and wiped her forearm over her eyes and sniffled.

Xena picked up a bean and threw it viciously into the fire, watching the sparks snap up from it. She picked up another and repeated the motion, her lips writhing into a snarl.

Well.  Gabrielle slowly went back to her task. She wondered why Xena had traded her comfortable chair for the floor. It didn’t seem like she wanted to stop Gabrielle from what she was doing, or talk to her, or even just watch the fire.

So why was she there?

With a faint shake of her head, Gabrielle decided to stuff the fish, and roast them. She neatly slit the bellies open and removed the insides, cleaning them carefully with hands that almost didn’t shake under the queen’s dour stare.

Then she took bits of the vegetables she’d cut and put them inside the fish, along with several handfuls of grain before she wrapped each fish in a piece of wet parchment and tucked them into the side of the fire to cook.

Okay.  Gabrielle cleaned up her tray and stood, taking it over to the sideboard table. She wiped her hands off and turned her head, watching the still figure next to the fire. Some of the anger seemed to have subsided, but she could see Xena’s hand, resting on her knee, clenching and unclenching.

She squared her shoulders and walked back to the fire, sitting down cross legged next to the queen.

For a few moments, they both merely watched the flames. Then Gabrielle turned her head and looked at the sullen profile next to her. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Very slowly, the queen tipped her head to one side and glared at her. “What?”

Something clicked. “Do you want to talk about it, or do you just want to get out your sword and cut my head off, like the others.” Gabrielle had to force the last few words out. “Or just throw me down the stairs. That’ll probably do it and it won’t make a mess in here my replacement will just have to clean up.”

She had no idea where her fear had gone to. She only knew it had been replaced by a manic courage, and the intense need to break through that icy gaze to find the flickering glimpse of a friend she’d seen before.

Briefly, Xena stared at her. Then the long, dark lashes fluttered closed and she let her head rest on her arm, her body going very still.

The tacit need made Gabrielle reach out and put a hand on the queen’s shoulder, surprised when she felt a shiver in the skin at her touch. “Xena.” She spoke in a low voice.

The sound vibrated inside her, and Xena had all she could do not to respond to it. Her chest felt like it was being pulled apart, the ache so intense it made her bite the inside her lip until it bled.  She wanted to be angry. She wanted to lash out and destroy this thing that was making her confused, and unsure, and knocking her as offbalance as she’d ever been in her life.

And yet, her body was leaning into the warm touch on her shoulder and wanting much more. The animal part of her, usually so reliable, was shedding it’s fierce exterior and responding in completely unexpected ways, circumventing her will with stubborn persistence.

She felt Gabrielle’s arm slide around her shoulders, and then the pressure as the kid leaned her head against her upper arm.

And Xena broke. She released her anger, and accepted the comfort Gabrielle was offering, feeling the tight wound tension in her unwind as she gave her body what it was demanding.

The touch. Gabrielle stroked the side of her face as she leaned her head against the slaves. Xena stopped fighting it and admitted to herself, finally, that she’d broken her first, and most important rule.  The one pledge she’d made to herself after Lyceus died, and she’d sealed herself off from the rest of humanity.

“Listen… I’m…. I know.. I did something really stupid, and I know you’re really mad at me for it… but…  Xena, I just…”

“I know.” Xena closed her eyes and whispered. “You just did what you thought was right.”

Gabrielle exhaled softly. “Yes.” She admitted. “I… know what you do to people who do that to you.” She swallowed audibly. “And.. I don’t blame you if you..”

“Gabrielle.” Xena felt peacefully exhausted. “Shut up. I can’t kill you.”

The slave fell silent.

“I can’t even hardly yell at you. I could no more toss you down the stairs than I could fly over the moon in my underwear.”  Xena felt Gabrielle shift slightly, and she knew the kid was looking up at her, probably from under those adorable, shaggy blond bangs.

“Oh.” Gabrielle said, very unoriginally. “Um.”

“Besides… Hades. Maybe you were right.” Xena went on. “My army.. the first one I had, holed up in a cave during the first winter after I got them together. I didn’t know my ass from a hole in the rocks about how to run things, and I lost most of them to the scour because I didn’t have sense to keep the place clean.”

“Oh.”

“All those bodies.” Xena went on quietly. “I can still smell the death… hear the screams.” Her voice was distant. “Hades of a way to learn a lesson, Gabrielle.”

Gabrielle was silent for a bit. “I’m sorry.”

“So was I. Armies are hard to come by.” The queen remarked. “Gabrielle, I may act like a bloodthirsty lunatic most of the time, but occasionally there’s a reason behind it.”

Another bit of silence. “Then why did you stop down there?”

Ah, now there was the point of it.  “Because you wanted me to.” Xena replied with startling honesty. “And that stopped me just long enough for me to think twice about what I was doing.”

“Oh.”

“I don’t like thinking twice, Gabrielle.” The queen said. “It’s dangerous.”

Gabrielle could feel the pressure of Xena’s cheek against the top of her head, and despite the queen’s words, she showed no signs of wanting to move away.  Gabrielle didn’t feel like moving away either, and she reasoned that was a good sign. Xena’s words troubled her, and made her think hard about a lot of things, and most of all about how the world was never a black and white place.

Not anymore, anyway. “I’m sorry.” She repeated softly.

“Me too.” Xena replied. “Because it made me realize something even more dangerous.”  She exhaled heavily.

“What?” Gabrielle asked, trying to imagine the answer.

“That I’m in love with you.”

Not even in her wildest, spiced vegetable induced nightmares could she have imagined that answer. Gabrielle felt her eyes pop wide open and she stared past Xena’s knee at the fire in utter surprise. “Bft.” A tiny snort escaped from her throat.

“Mm. Irony, thy name is Xena.” The queen mused. The danger drew itself in black and white images, stark in her inner vision. A wry smile appeared on her face, and she shifted, circling Gabrielle with her arm and accepting, at last, what had happened to her.

It was all she could do, anyway. Against this, against the power and the intensity of what she felt for this little scrap of a shepherd’s kid, she was helpless as a newborn and she knew it.  The danger would come soon enough – for now, she might as well experience the joy it offered.

The future would take care of itself.

**

Gabrielle poked the fish experimentally, judging it almost done. It was very quiet in the room, and the fire sounded loud to her.

Almost as loud as Xena’s breathing, warming the outer edge of her left ear. The queen had wrapped herself around Gabrielle and was resting her chin on her shoulder. It was like wearing a living cloak, but keeping her mind off that living cloak was making dinner preparations somewhat precarious.

She hardly even knew why she was trying to keep her mind off it, except that it seemed a shame to burn such nice fish. Gabrielle had realized some minutes ago that she wasn’t hungry, she didn’t care about dinner, and there was so much jumbled emotion running through her body she doubted she’d even be able to swallow.

Xena’s arms were clasped loosely around her waist, and her legs were circling Gabrielle’s as they both sat on the floor in front of the fire. The queen’s eyes were mostly closed, and she seemed to just be enjoying the closeness as much as Gabrielle was.

She loves me.  Gabrielle felt like singing. She felt like bouncing in her place, and wriggling with happiness, but she was afraid she’d disturb Xena’s sleepy peace if she did more than just grin. It was an incredible, and very unexpected turn of events after the tension of the last while.

“Is it food yet?” Xena’s low rumble tickled her ear.

“I think so, yes.” Gabrielle replied. She turned her head and found herself nose to nose with the queen. Feeling bold, she tilted her chin and gave Xena a kiss on the lips, feeling the soft surface move as Xena smiled.  Pausing, she backed off a little to gauge the queen’s reaction to her audacity.

Xena leaned back and pulled her backwards until she was laying half in the queen’s lap. Then Xena returned the kiss with leisurely passion.

Oo. Nice reaction. Gabrielle gazed up at the dark haired woman as she lifted her head, grinning at her and letting some of the happiness she felt inside her show.

Xena’s eyes brightened visibly.

The ice was gone, Gabrielle realized. She lifted her hand and stroked Xena’s cheek, seeing all the way through the queen’s expressive blue orbs and into her soul. The person she found looking back at her wasn’t what she’d expected, the vulnerability and openness surprised her.

But Xena blinked, almost as though she realized, and then winked at her as she indicated the fireplace. “If it’s food, let’s eat it.” She said. “Grab it, and bring it to the table out there. I’ll get something we can drink with it.”  She dipped her head and kissed Gabrielle again, nibbling her lips and gently exploring with her tongue. “Sound like a plan?”

The tip of Gabrielle’s tongue appeared as she regarded Xena. “I think that sounds great.” She agreed.

“Good.” Xena hoisted her up. She stood and stretched, then shook herself and walked from the bedroom into the outer chamber, leaving Gabrielle to retrieve the two fragrant packets of hopefully cooked fish.

Gabrielle wiped the sweat from her forehead, suddenly wishing the window were open a little to let some cool air in. She set the wooden trencher down and got to business.  The packets were emitting steam, so she carefully eased them from the coals to the trencher, keeping her fingers out of the way as she opened them.

Oo. They smelled good, at least. Gabrielle peeked inside, pleased at the condition of her masterpieces. With a grin, she picked up the trencher and carried it to the door, slipping through it into the outer chamber.

She halted at the sight of the table set with flickering candles and sparkling crystal goblets. Xena appeared with a tall bottle, holding it to the light and looking into it’s golden depths, as she casually motioned the slave over.  “Oh.”

Xena paused in the middle of opening the bottle, and cocked an eyebrow at her. “Oh, what?” She asked. “C’mere.”

Gabrielle walked over and set the trencher down. “It’s so pretty.” She indicated the table. “How did you do that so fast?”

“I.” Xena gracefully filled her goblet, then tipped the bottle to fill Gabrielle’s. “Have many skills.”

“Hm.” Gabrielle eased the trencher to the middle of the table. “I think I knew that already.”

“Oh, really?” The queen chuckled easily. “Get those things open and let’s see what we’ve got.”

Gabrielle opened the parchment and folded it back, exposing the tasty smelling fish. She slid one off onto the china plate in front of Xena’s big seat, then put the remaining, smaller one on her own.

“Hey.” Xena seemed to be in a very playful mood. “You gave me the big one.”

“Well.” Gabrielle tucked the parchment back onto the trencher. “You are the queen.” She met Xena’s eyes, and returned the grin. “And you are bigger than I am.”

Xena put her hands on her hips and regarded the slave. “Ain’t that the truth.” She said, giving her head a little shake as she walked around behind Gabrielle’s chair and pulled it out. Then she waited.

Gabrielle looked at the chair, then at her, unsure of what was going on.

“Sit.” Xena told her.

Cautiously, Gabrielle edged in front of the seat, very surprised when it was pushed under her and she ended up sitting down abruptly. “Oh!” She looked over her shoulder at Xena, who still had her hands on the chair back. “Why did you do that?”

Xena leaned her forearms on the wood and half smiled. “Because it’s what you do for women you care for.” She said. “It’s.. um… polite.”  She took her seat and lifted her glass, it’s crystal depths colored deep amber with the rich mead she’d poured into it. “You like this.”

Gabrielle picked up her own glass and sniffed it. “Oh, yes.” She smiled.  “I did. You’re right.”

Xena extended her glass towards Gabrielle. “Here’s to us, then.”

Us. Gabrielle suddenly felt different. She felt different because as she looked into Xena’s eyes, she knew the queen was seeing her differently, and it was a very nice change. She touched the edge of her glass to Xena’s. “Here’s to us.” She repeated softly.

They drank, watching each other through the candlelight. Gabrielle straightened a little in her chair, resisting the urge to fuss with her disordered blond locks.  She put her goblet down, feeling the pleasant burn as the mead worked it’s way down into her stomach. “Would you like to hear the rest of the pig story?”

“No.” Xena investigated her plate, lifting the silver two pronged fork and laying the fish open. It’s flesh was soft and fragrant, and the grains inside had absorbed the juices and softened. It smelled great. Xena picked up a bit of the fish with the fork and put it into her mouth, savoring it slowly before she swallowed. “I want to talk about you.”  She ran her tongue over the fork prongs.

Gabrielle looked up from her plate, a trifle surprised. “Me?” She put her fork down and took a sip of her mead. “What about me? I think it would be a lot more interesting to talk about you.”

“Me?” Xena leaned on her elbow, resting her head against her fist as she gazed across the table. “You know all about me.”

“No I don’t.” Gabrielle laughed gently. “I bet if we knew each other for the rest of our lives, I’d still wouldn’t know all about you.” She set her cup down.

Xena took a mouthful of fish and chewed it. “You make a very good trout, Gabrielle.” She changed the subject. “Where’d you learn to cook?”

Gabrielle ate some of the grains. “Well.” She swallowed. “I guess it’s just something I took to. I wasn’t much good at anything else around the farm.” She admitted. “I can’t sew, or make baskets, or knit…  my father told me I’d better find something I could do or he’d…” Gabrielle stopped speaking for a long moment. “Anyway, one of my friends in the village was the son of the innkeeper, and he got his mother to show me the ropes, a little.”

Xena watched her companion in silence, chewing her food and thinking.  “Gabrielle?”

“Yes?” Warm, green eyes met hers.

“Were you happier back there, or right here?”  Xena asked.  “Doesn’t sound to me like you were having a picnic before the slavers got you.”

The blond woman cupped her hands around her goblet and sipped slowly from it. There were so many answers to that question, and she had to decide which one Xena deserved to hear from her. “It was all right.” She finally answered, with a half shrug.

“Didja want to stay there?” Xena asked.

“No.” Gabrielle answered, after a slight hesitation. “I always… Everyone made fun of me for it, really, but I always wanted to go out and see the world…you know, look at other places, meet people… “ She looked up at Xena. “So here I am. I guess I got what I wanted after all, didn’t I?”

“I guess you did.” Xena mused. “Probably not the route you wanted to take to get here, though.”

Gabrielle gazed into the depths of her cup. She thought about the last night she’d been at home,  about the yelling and the anger that had made her trip to the river that next morning a welcome relief. “Sometimes you can’t pick your roads.” She said, her lips pressing into a thin line. “But…if I had to be on this road, I’m glad it lead here.”

“I’m glad too.” Xena said. “It’s been a long time… since I’ve had someone around who I could just… talk to.” She frowned at the now empty cup in her hands. “I’d forgotten what that felt like.”

Gabrielle got up and retrieved the mead bottle, filling Xena’s cup and then her own. She remained standing, wordlessly stroking Xena’s shoulder with her hand as the queen sipped. “I…” She paused, then took a breath and started again. “I didn’t really have many people to talk to at home either. Most of my friends were just… none of them wanted to do anything but stay in Potadeia, and get married, and have kids.”

“Ah.”

“They thought I was strange.” Gabrielle admitted.

“You are.” Xena told her, eyes twinkling. “But I like that.” She took Gabrielle’s hand and pulled her down to sit on her lap as she wrapped an arm around her.  She picked up a bit of root from her plate and offered it to the blond woman.

Gabrielle put her arms around Xena and accepted the tidbit, giving her a hug just because she could.

Xena put down her cup and returned the hug and they sat there for a bit just wrapped in each other’s arms. She could feel the pressure of Gabrielle’s body wrapped around her and when she breathed in, the girl’s scent filled her lungs.

She ran a hand down Gabrielle’s side and felt a feather light kiss on the nape of her neck in response.

A crack of thunder startled both them. Xena surged to her feet in pure reaction, still holding onto Gabrielle as she pulled a knife off the table and crouched, all before her conscious mind slapped her in the back of the head and pointed at the window.

“Whoa.” Gabrielle yelped softly.

Another crack of thunder, and the entire exterior of the castle was blasted by a bolt of lightning, rattling the dishes on the table and sending a bit of mead sloshing from Gabrielle’s cup.  With a crash, a pane of the window cracked and fell inward, and the room filled with the scent of the storm as the wind entered.

Xena released Gabrielle and took a step towards the window, then stopped as another bolt of lightning struck the outside of the stronghold, shattering the rest of the window panes.

Hail blew in, flying across the room.

“Um… your majesty… “ Gabrielle had never seen a storm this bad before. Even the one that had almost destroyed the sheep pen hadn’t been this violent. “I’m not sure…”

“I’m sure.” Xena grabbed the bottle of mead, and Gabrielle and bolted for the bedroom, ducking hailstones as she dove through the door and slammed it behind her.  “Damned if I need Zeus to chase me into bed.”  She checked the shutters, which had remained secure, set the bottle down,  then threw Gabrielle into the huge bed and dove after her.

**

Maybe the storm outside lent a bit of extra danger. Gabrielle felt chills running up and down her body as she tumbled into the bed, barely having time to stretch out before the surface bowed under Xena’s weight as the queen joined her.

The low light outlined the queen’s body as she got between Gabrielle and the fire. Gabrielle reached for her as her own body reacted to the energy she could sense so close. Her hands touched bare skin and slid over it as Xena came to rest leaning half over her, the queen’s weight resting on her elbows.

“Well now.” Xena’s voice was pitched low. “This is good a place as any to ride out the storm, isn’t it?”

Gabrielle could feel Xena’s breathing under her hands, and felt a fire ignite in her guts as her fingertips explored the powerful contours. “Yeah.” She answered briefly, almost not hearing the rattling of the windows as the hail slammed into them.

Her own heartbeat fairly drowned it out, increasing when Xena leaned closer and took the laces of her shirt in her teeth and ripped them out.  She felt the faint sting as the end of one hit her in the throat, then the chill as one sleeve was pulled down off her shoulder, exposing her chest.

This time was different. Gabrielle welcomed the lips that caressed her throat. This time she only felt excitement, and the building need, and a desire that set her skin on fire. Fear was never a part of it.  She traced the outlines of Xena’s breasts with teasing fingers, listening for that low, rumbling purr and smiling when it came, moments later.

Xena’s hand slid down her other shoulder, peeling her shirt off and down around her waist. Gabrielle ducked her head and traded touch for touch, nibbling her way along Xena’s neck and tasting her skin with abashedly abandoned licks.

It felt so good. Everything felt so good, and the craving for more grew. She slid her lips along the silky surface of Xena’s skin, teasing her sensitive nipple as she felt a touch move slowly up the inside of her thigh.

Xena nipped her playfully on the navel and she squeaked.

They both laughed.

Gabrielle ran her fingers through Xena’s hair, loving the feel of it against her skin. She pulled gently and tilted her head, finding lips that met hers, and a tongue that teased between them, curling around her own.  She shifted a hand lower, down across Xena’s belly, and felt the muscles under her touch tense.

There was a scar there. Gabrielle made a fuzzy note to ask about it. Later.

Xena’s thigh slid between hers, and she found herself rolled over onto her back, being gently explored. It put her in an excellent position to do some herself, and she let her fingers and lips wander, touching and tasting everything she could reach.

A rumble of thunder rolled through the stronghold, and it matched the rumble of pleasure that came, unexpectedly, from both of them.

It was hard to concentrate, Gabrielle felt her body arching almost out of her control as she continued her touching, hearing a second, low groan from Xena as the queens’ body pressed against hers. They were both sweating, despite the chill, and her tongue tasted salt on Xena’s skin as she planted feather light kisses down the centerline of her torso.

She wasn’t sure if it was luck, or just the natural melding of their mutual need, but she felt Xena’s body tensing as her own responded to a building tide of desire and their voices rose in conjoined howls.  Gabrielle held her breath as rippling waves of convulsions moved through her and she felt Xena’s muscles clamp down over her as the queen shared the moment.

It was awesome.

Gabrielle waited for the intensity to subside, and she nuzzled  Xena’s skin, sliding her body against the queen’s in an ecstasy of giddy passion.  She felt like no amount of contact was close enough, and she wrapped herself around Xena’s, wanting to feel her all over.

“Mm.” Xena’s lips were close to her ear. “Niiiiicce…. Let’s try that again.”

Oh yeah….Gabrielle chuckled weakly. If this is what being a love slave meant, boy, was it ever underrated.

The hail beat petulantly against the leaded windows, and the wind moaned, it’s power impotent against the fire within.

**

Xena woke to find sunlight hitting her in the face.  She blinked her eyes open in surprise, squinting at the window which showed an already bright sky.  The storm had ended, apparently, and the weather cleared, all while she’d slept.

The air was cold, though, and she realized the storm must have brought in the beginning of winter weather. She could taste the dryness on the air, though where she was she was very comfortably warm and cozy.

The down cover helped, but finding Gabrielle’s body draped over her provided the real warmth and she gazed down at the tousled blond head in bemused affection.  It was resting on her shoulder, and Gabrielle had one arm thrown over her and one leg, pinning her down with a light, but very perceptible pressure.

She closed her eyes and just let herself feel the trust in that embrace.

It was a first, in a lifetime of experiences, and she reveled in it. No matter what she’d expected love to be like, it had never been this.  She shifted slightly, and kissed Gabrielle on the top of her head, feeling her nestle closer in unconscious reaction.

Ah. It had been a very long time since she’d felt peace like this. Xena let her eyes drift open, and study the ceiling. If she ever had.  She halfway remembered a time, when she was very young before the terror came to Amphipolis. A warm kitchen, her mother.. her brothers.

Laughing.

But it had been a very long time ago, and she’d lost the ability to even want to go back to a time when all she’d cared about was being warm and well fed, and happy.  Xena’s brow creased lightly. But in a way, Gabrielle touched that part of her, and made her remember what it had been like to have family.

Was that good?  Xena slowly rubbed Gabrielle’s bare back.  Caring about something meant risking the loss of it. She’d learned that the hard way.  But wasn’t the risk worth it? Hadn’t she been alone long enough? She let out a breath, acknowledging the long ignored loneliness she’d surrounded herself with quite deliberately.

Well, Gabrielle was hers. Xena examined the girl’s profile. Willingly hers, as well as hers by right of ownership and unlike all her other previous bedmates, this one was worthy of being trusted and loved in return because she’d proven herself so.

So.

Now what was she going to do? She couldn’t have Gabrielle keep on as her chambermaid, much as she loathed the idea of allowing yet another slave into her quarters. She had to find a position for Gabrielle that was in keeping with her status of being Xena’s lover.

She could, Xena acknowledged, merely just name her as her consort, but…  Her eyes studied the slightly rounded jawline. That would be a waste of resources. The kid was smart, and she had a talent Xena knew she herself was sadly lacking in.

Xena decided to think about the answer to her little blond riddle for a while before she made any decisions.  In the meantime, she’d have Stanislaus find a new slave to clean the floors, after she got herself back into her routine today.  She knew the break in the weather removed any excuse for her to keep shy of her duties, and there were things to do and people to harass after her one day’s truancy from statehood.

And she was already late in starting. Xena observed the splash of sunlight creeping across the floor. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept past sunrise, but then again… a wicked grin appeared. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d spent most of the night making love, either.

Ah well. Xena gave the window a last glance, and acknowledged the fact that she had to get up and go be queen. Gently, she tickled Gabrielle’s back, watching the sleeping girl’s face slowly acquire tension as her body twitched.

After a moment, Gabrielle’s eyes opened, and she blinked a few times, then tilted her head up. “Mm.”  She peered sleepily up at the queen.  “Hello.”

“Good morning.” Xena put a fingertip on the slave’s nose. “You’re going to have to find a different pillow. I have to go tyrannize the masses.”

Gabrielle looked down. “Oh. Sorry.” She eased off the queen, rolling onto her side and leaning on her elbow. “Um… yeah. I’ve got a lot to do… the outer room’s a mess.”

“I’ll get someone to take care of that.” Xena told her. “I’ve got something else for you to do, since you’re so smart, as well as cute.”  She smiled as a blush worked it’s way up from Gabrielle’s neck, showing a charming pink in the sunlight. “I want you to go around the stronghold.. .find out what people are really thinking.”

Gabrielle hesitated, then cocked her head to one side. “What makes you think I can?”

“Beeecaauuusee…” The queen ran a fingertip around her bedmate’s lips. “If you can do it with me, you can do it with anyone. There’s something still going on, and I want to know what it is.”

Slowly, Gabrielle nodded. “Okay.” She reached out and took Xena’s hand, bringing it to her lips and kissing it. “I’ll do my best.” She folded her fingers around the queen’s and rubbed the backs of her knuckles against her cheek. “I don’t know if anyone will talk to me downstairs, though.”

“Maybe not.” Xena murmured. “But you can bet all the nobles will. They’ll offer you the world, my little lamb.”  She flexed her fingers, squeezing the girl’s. “Anything to get at me.”

“My world is nothing without you in it.” Gabrielle replied simply. “So they don’t have anything to offer.”

Aw. Xena considered herself thoroughly charmed. “You’ve got the soul of a poet, Gabrielle. Where’d you find it?” She teased. “Someone leave it by the river somewhere?”

Gabrielle smiled wistfully.

The queen chuckled, and gave her a slap on the butt. “All right. Move. I’ve got to go see what damage that damn storm did last night.  Let’s go surprise the court and see what trouble we can get into.”  She pulled the covers back and slid out of bed, taking a moment to stretch fully in the cool air. “Ahhhh.”

“Wow.”

Xena turned and put her hands on her hips, cocking an eyebrow wickedly. “Why, Gabrielle. Losing your down on the farm shyness already?”

“No.. I mean..” Gabrielle scrambled out of bed and circled the queen, peering at her back. “Your back’s better.”

Xena shifted a shoulderblade, flexing her arm experimentally. It no longer hurt. “Ah.” She rotated her shoulder, then extended her arm across her body carefully. The motion didn’t even produce a twinge. “Well, what do you know? I guess a day spent in bed can heal anything.”  She chuckled, shaking her head and walking towards the bathing room. “Too bad I didn’t think of that before the fight.”

Gabrielle watched her go, mesmerized by the smooth power rippling under Xena’s sun dappled skin. The wound on her shoulder was closed, only a dark line of stitches marking where it had been. There was no swelling, and no redness, and soon even that dark line would be gone, leaving behind only the memory of the horror that had, in a way, brought them together.

Then she remembered the other scar, and trotted after the queen, questions already tickling her tongue.  Her world was changing yet again, only this time she found herself a part of the change and liking it.

**

Continued in Part 11

Shadows of the Soul

Part 11

Xena paused as she got to the entrance of her audience chamber and straightened her sleeve before she continued into the room. It was fairly full, but her sensitive ears heard conversations cut off in mid word as her presence became known.  She watched the faces turn to her, watched the depth of the bows, and a tingle of warning ignited in her guts. Giving the crowd a graceful nod, she proceeded into the smaller, private chamber behind it to get her security briefing she knew would be waiting for her.

Sure enough, Alaran was there already, gazing out the window with a frown on his face.  He turned as Xena entered and bowed, then straightened as the queen approached. “Mistress.”

Xena gave him a nod, and then took her seat, lacing her fingers together and lifting her eyebrows. “Well?”

Alaran pursed his lips. “Mistress, I hardly know how to tell you this.”

“Well.” The queen tapped her thumbs. “You can either open your mouth and start talking, or I can skin you and make you scream the news. Pick.” She decided to smile, indicating that she wasn’t really serious.

Her security chief didn’t seem reassured. “Mistress, there has been… many of the soldiers have gone.”

Last thing on earth she’d expected to hear. “What?” Xena leaned forward slightly.

“Brego’s men, my liege.” Alaran said. “Yesterday… during the storm. They snuck out of the city.”

Xena stood up suddenly, startling a flinch from her security chief. She paced over to him, resisting the urge to grab him by the front of his tunic. “Are you telling me half the army defected?” She spoke softly, but even she could hear the edge in her tone. Alaran surely could, and his skin paled visibly. “Half of *my* army?”

Alaran swallowed. “They... did not view themselves as your men, Mistress.” He told her, lifting his head bravely. “They looked to Bregos as their leader, and… “

“And?” Xena said.

“Did not wish to serve under you.” Alaran finished quietly. “They escaped out through the kitchens.”

Xena turned and walked to the window, putting her hands on either side of it in what she considered a very admirable show of restraint. “So they had help.” She remarked. “Everyone was in on it, eh?”

“Not everyone, Mistress.” Alaran said. “It was discovered by one of your men, before dawn, and he came for me.”

Xena’s pale blue eyes regarded the sunlight. “And you waited to tell me.”

Alaran remained silent. Xena turned and looked at him.  “Mistress, you did say…” He started to speak.

Xena crossed the distance between them in the blink of an eye. She grabbed him and lifted him up, letting her temper loose at last. “You stupid bastard.”  She snarled, whirling and slamming him against the wall. “You’re not worth the cloth on your back.”

His nostrils flared. “Mistress.”

“How much did they pay you off, Alaran? Offer you a homestead?” Xena held him in place with little effort. “What’d they buy you with? Cow shit? That’s what you’re worth.” She half turned and threw him to the ground.

“No! Mistress!” Alaran held a hand over his head, protecting it as she pounced. “You wrong me!”

Xena kicked him with all her strength, hearing the crunch as he hit the wall. She caught him as he rebounded and lifted him up again, catching him around the throat with both hands. “Wrong you?” She squeezed. “You’re responsible for my security. You let half the army defect, and allowed insurrection in the slaves’ quarters. Wrong you?”

He gagged, and tried to breathe.

“I’ve gotten more good information from my chambermaid in the last half moon than I have from you. Why is that?” Xena asked acidly.

“M…”

Blood was pouring from his nose.  “You let me almost get assassinated, twice in that period. And you say I wrong you?” Xena’s voice dropped to a harsh whisper.

Alaran closed his eyes, and bowed his head, accepting what he knew was coming.

Xena released him, and let him drop to the floor.  She knelt next to him and grabbed him by the hair, forcing his head back. She gazed dispassionately into his eyes, bloodshot and frightened, hopelessness shining from them.  “Now.” She said. “Tell me the truth.”

**

Gabrielle crossed the huge lower hallway, pausing for just a moment to appreciate its grandeur again as she headed for the stronghold’s archives. Xena had told her to go there, to begin her listening.

Xena. Gabrielle found herself smiling at the name, as she turned down the first corridor, counting the doors to the fifth one. It had been so amazing waking up in the morning with her, and feeling the gentleness in her touch.

Amazing. Gabrielle pushed the door open and peered inside. The smell of parchment hit her, and she suppressed a sneeze as she entered the room and looked around. Near the windows were a row of wooden copy desks, and their occupants looked up as she came in, watching her curiously. “Hello.”

The one nearest the door got up and came over. He had on a sturdy work tunic, stained with ink, and he carried one quill with another tucked behind an ear.  “G’day m’lady.” He greeted her. “Something I can do for you, or for her Majesty?”

Gabrielle straightened a little inside her black and gold livery. “Matter of fact, yes. Her majesty would like the tax records for the last harvest season, please.”  She said. “Thank you.”

The man smiled and gave her a half bow, then turned and started rummaging through the shelving. Each shelf held rolls of parchment, and he took one, and then another, examining its contents carefully.  Gabrielle left him to search, as she walked through the room.

Some of the shelves had hand lettered labels, scraps of parchment stuck to the edges, or bits of wood with more permanent markings nailed to them with half spikes.  Records of the surrounding lands, mostly, she saw listings of properties, and marriage rolls… Curiously, Gabrielle took hold of one of them and opened it, scanning the names in many hands written inside.

She had been one of the very few in her village who could read and write. The only reason her father had allowed her to learn from the old reeve was because he’d hoped to push her into being the village teacher, once the old woman who’d served as that for many years finally passed on. It was a relatively good position, and her father had figured it would make her worth more in marriage.

Learning to read had been like opening the door to the world to her, after she’d scraped together quarter dinars for almost a year and purchased a tattered old scroll at market which held a precious thing inside.

A story.  A story of a place far away, and of people who didn’t live in her village, or think like her, or act like the people all around her acted.

Gabrielle remembered how she’d daydreamed about that story, and how it had ignited her imagination into thinking of different ways for the story to end, or different things for the people in it to do, or…  It had triggered her first halting attempts at making her own tales up and given her a small golden bright spot in an otherwise pretty bland life.

She put the scroll back and wandered on, towards the back of the room where the shelves were dustier and the parchment older. Near the last of the cubbies she found a stack of very tattered scraps, and she picked one up, examining it curiously.

A sketch looked back at her, of a small village seen from a hillside above it. It was done in some kind of ink, the lines faded into almost obscurity in places. The rolling land it nestled in seemed vaguely familiar to her, but she knew the outline of the huts and of the streets was of some place she’d never been.

She turned it over, and saw a few letters on the back, and she leaned closer, turning the parchment towards the window to see better.  ‘Amph’.  She mouthed the word softly, wondering if it could possibly be short for Amphipolis, where Xena had said she was from.

“Wonder if she even knows this is here?” Gabrielle murmured to herself, tucking parchment under her arm as she leafed through a few of the others. She stopped when she came to one, blinking in true startlement as she recognized a crude sketching of Xena herself, a wilder, younger visage than the one she’d woken up to, under lettering offering a thousand dinars for her capture.

Wanted.  Gabrielle stared at the words in fascination.  Murdering Warlord.

Soberly, she tucked that parchment under her arm too, marveling at the incredible paradox the queen was. She turned and wandered back over to the desks, where her friend the scribe was assembling a neat stack of sheets, binding them together with a bit of gut.  He turned and presented them to her, with another little bow.

“M’lady, as you requested.”

“Thanks.” Gabrielle took them. “What’s your name?”

The scribe looked a little surprised at the question. “Dirk, m’lady.”

Gabrielle took his hand in hers. “Hi, Dirk. I’m Gabrielle.” She said. “It’s nice to meet you.”

If an asp had started dancing on her shoulder, she doubted he could have looked more surprised. He gingerly clasped her hand, and ducked his head. “My honor, m’lady. We have heard your name.”

I just bet. Gabrielle found herself wryly grinning.  “Thanks.” She freed herself from his grip and gave his brother scribes a smile, and then she turned and left the records room, resolving to return at her soonest free time to do a more thorough exploration of its secrets.

The hallway was busier now, and she found herself the covert center of attention as she walked across the open space, heading for the queen’s audience chamber with her records. One of the dukes, one she recognized as more or less friendly to Xena, approached her.

It was amazing; she marveled silently, how accurately Xena knew these people. She paused as the man came up to her and looked inquisitively at him. “Sir?”

“Good morning to you, young mistress.” The Duke gave her a fairly courtly bow. “I am Duke Lastay, and have the honor to be in the queen’s service.”

“Yes, sir, I remember you from the festival.” Gabrielle responded. “Can I do something for you?”

“Not at all... it is I who wish to do something for you. May I carry your burden? I take it you go to the queen’s side?” Lastay offered. “She has heard the terrible news, and must be in a dark temper.”

Gabrielle’s ears perked up. She almost asked him what he was talking about, but paused, thinking better of it, and handed him over the records instead. “Thank you, sir, yes I was headed there.” She told him gravely, joining him as he started to walk towards the audience chamber. “Have you heard further details?”

Lastay shook his head, pursing his lip in concern. “Only what we all know, young mistress. I fear that more evil is afoot for our queen, for why else should half the army choose to leave us? For no good reason, of that I’m sure.”

Half the army?????  Gabrielle felt her eyes widen.  Surely it wasn’t….  No, she’d seen Brendan from afar as she’d walked from the tower.  So, not Xena’s favorites... not the one’s she’d rewarded so well just two days prior. The only other possibility stared her in the face. “Sore losers, maybe?” She suggested softly.

Lastay sighed, and shook his head. “More than that, I fear. Our queen has made many uneasy. Her reign… ah well.”

“Well, I thought she showed how strong that was the other day.” Gabrielle said.

“Ah, but in doing so, she showed again how solitary her crown is, with no heir. What if the worst had happened?” Lastay asked cannily.  “Our culture is built on continuity. With her gracious majesty, that is difficult to ascertain.”

Gabrielle pondered that. “Well.” She shrugged a little. “I mean, Xena’s the queen because she’s the strongest. Even if she had a baby, that baby wouldn’t be strongest, and how long would it last with everyone trying to kill everyone else?”  She looked up at Lastay, whose mouth had dropped open slightly. “Someone would just take over, because they were the strongest. So maybe the queen feels like, what’s the point?”

They approached the doors to the outer chamber, and the guards on either side moved to open them so they could pass inside. Lastay was silent as they entered, drawing the eyes of all those standing around waiting in various poses of alarm.  “What’s going on?” The Duke asked sharply.

A loud crash answered him, from the inner chambers.

Everyone looked at him, then at Gabrielle.  With a queasy feeling, Gabrielle took the records from Lastay’s hands and walked towards the door.

The day was not looking up.

**

Xena looked up as the door opened. She held Alaran’s broken body in her hands, and as her eyes took in Gabrielle’s expression, she released him and let him fall lifelessly to the floor.

The pool of blood from her dagger spread sluggishly at her feet and for a long moment, she simply stood there and stared at the frozen in place Gabrielle. Then Xena went back to her seat and sat in it, letting her crimson stained hands rest on her knees.

Gabrielle slowly pushed the door closed and leaned against it, feeling a sense of utter horror at the dead body. She hadn’t liked Alaran, but seeing his open, glazed eyes made her want to sit down and just throw up.  She tore her gaze from him and looked at Xena instead, seeing a look of weary pain there that drew her across the room to the queen’s side.

Xena didn’t lift her head or look at her. She stared at the security chief’s body and exhaled. “Like I said.” She finally muttered. “Whenever I trust anyone, I lose.”

Hesitantly, Gabrielle put a hand on her shoulder. “Xena.”

“Everyone has a price, Gabrielle.” Xena said, in a remote voice. “His was a hold of his own, to be master of.” She paused. “He never asked me. Never said anything.” Her tone now took on a hint of exhausted plaint. “He just sold me out.”

Gabrielle felt the shoulder under her fingers slump. “Oh. Wow.” She murmured. “I didn’t think he…” But it wasn’t true, and so she stopped speaking rather than continue the lie. She hadn’t liked Alaran from the start, and she’d always felt he wasn’t as loyal to Xena as he’d acted. “How long have you known…” Her glance fell to the body, and she swallowed. “Did you know him?”

Xena studied the slumped form, and then she unexpectedly kicked it. “Too long.”

Gabrielle shivered in reflex, and drew away a little.

“Bastard.” The queen uttered. “They bought you with a couple of cows and a hut. Scum.”

Gabrielle sighed unhappily. “Maybe he just wanted a place that he could call his.”

Xena’s pale eyes narrowed. “Why didn’t he just ask?” She growled. “The gods knew he dared in every other respect.” She kicked the body again, making its hand flap against the stone with a sodden, ugly sound.

She couldn’t look anymore. Gabrielle turned and rested her head against the chair’s wood. “Maybe he was afraid to.” She said, in a quiet voice.

There was a period of silence, where the only sound was their breathing.

“Yeah.”  Xena finally uttered, with a curious, restless motion. The queen turned her head and peered at Gabrielle. “So, what’s your price, Gabrielle? When do I lose with you?”

Gabrielle found herself captured in those eyes, seeing the stark pain in them. “I don’t have a price.” She blurted, in reflex. “I wouldn’t…”

“Sure you do.” Xena got up abruptly and moved away from her, over to the stately, tall windows.  “Everyone does, my friend, everyone does.”

Do they? The blond woman leaned against the chair arm, and thought about it. What would make her turn against Xena? What was her price?  What could they give her that would make her want to leave the queen? Or hurt her? Gabrielle looked over at the window, watching Xena lean her head against the sill in an attitude of silent dejection that tugged at her heartstrings until they fairly hummed.

Unable to resist the pull, Gabrielle got up and walked over to where Xena was standing, pressing her body against the wall so she could see Xena’s face. “I’m sorry.”

The blue eyes moved to her, sad and remote. “Are you?” The queen asked. “Why?”

Gabrielle rubbed her thumb over the stone. “Because…” She cleared her throat of a sudden huskiness.  “Um… because there’s nothing I can say… no promise I can make to you that really means anything. It’s just words.”

Xena exhaled softly.

“My words.” Gabrielle went on. “And what are the words of a slave worth? Or a peasant shepherd?”   She sat down on the window sill, her back to the panes. “I should be easy to buy off. I don’t have anything.”

Xena was looking at her, Gabrielle could feel it. She kept her eyes on the ground; however, not daring to see what was in the queen’s expression. “So… I don’t know what my price is, Xena.” She finished in a whisper. “But I know I would rather die than betray you.”

Now, at last, she lifted her head and met Xena’s eyes. “So… if you know what my price is, then please don’t ever let me find out.”

The queen stared at her for brief moment, then she turned and sat down next to Gabrielle on the sill. They sat there together in silence, then Xena leaned her elbows on her knees and flexed her blood covered hands. She uttered a tiny snort of laughter. “Who in Hades am I to judge that?”

Gabrielle got up and carefully skirted Alaran’s body as she went to the ornate sidebar, where a basin and pitcher rested. She picked them up, circling the bowl carefully with one arm and brought them back over. She settled at Xena’s feet, kneeling before her and pouring the pitcher’s contents into the bowl.

Then she lifted the bowl up and set it on the small stool next to the window.  She picked up a cloth lying near the stool and dipped it into the water, wringing it out and taking Xena’s right hand in hers.

The long fingers twitched under her touch, but Xena didn’t pull back. Gabrielle started washing the slightly chilled skin.

“What are you doing?” Xena asked, softly.

Gabrielle looked up. “Washing the blood off your hands.”

Unexpectedly, the queen laughed, with a dry, bitter edge.  She yanked her hand free and got up, stalking away from Gabrielle and taking hold of Alaran’s body with both hands. She pulled him up and threw him over her shoulder, then went to the door to the outer chamber and opened it.

“Here.” Xena tossed the body off her shoulder and onto the floor into their midst. “If you skin him, he’ll make one of you a nice rug.”  She let her glare touch each of the shocked nobles.  “Make it a matched set when I find his patrons.”

Turning on her heel she reentered the inner chamber and slammed the door so loudly the wall sconces rattled, and a cup jumped off the credenza and rolled across the floor. She stopped in mid step as she spotted Gabrielle crouched on the stone, washing it with the cloth in an attitude of intense concentration. “What are you doing?”

The slave looked at the reddened surface, then up at her briefly. “Cleaning this.”

“I didn’t ask you to clean that.” Xena snapped. “Get up!”

Gabrielle hesitated, then she stood up, carrying the basin with her and backing away from Xena as she approached.  She put the water down on the table and stood next to it, watching the queen as she came closer.

Gabrielle felt her heart rate increase.  She pressed herself against the wall, very aware of being trapped. Her waking with the queen now seemed very far off, and very long ago, and for a brief moment she wondered if it all hadn’t been a very, very, very bad mistake for both of them.

Xena stopped a bare arm’s length from her, flexing her hands and glaring. “Are you afraid of me?”

“Yes.” Gabrielle admitted.

“Why?”

Why? Gabrielle felt fear and anger battling each other inside her. What was this woman asking? Did she even know what she was saying... or care? “Because you kill people really easily, and you just mentioned I might be a threat to you.” She managed to get out. “Shouldn’t I be scared? What else do you think I’d be? Isn’t that what you want, people to be scared of you?”

Xena looked at her. “Yes.” She said. “That’s exactly what I want. I want everyone to be afraid of me.” She put her blood stained hands on either side of Gabrielle’s head and stared into her eyes.

Cornered, Gabrielle could only stand there. Her anger evaporated, replaced not by fear, but by a deep sadness. She felt her eyes fill with tears, but she tried to keep from blinking, and spilling them.

“What are you thinking, Gabrielle?” Xena asked, abruptly.

Gabrielle took a breath, but didn’t speak, knowing it would betray her emotions.

“Gabrielle?” The queens’ voice dropped dangerously.  “I asked you a question.”

The slave swallowed, and softly cleared her throat. “I was... t...thinking that… um… falling in love isn’t always a good thing.”  She replied honestly. “Right now I’m wishing I hadn’t.”

There was utter silence in the room for a long string of heartbeats. Gabrielle finally lifted her eyes to her tormentor’s, finding an unexpected sadness that rivaled her own.

“Truly?” Xena asked.

Gabrielle nodded.

“Because I did that?” The queen pointed at the floor.

Gabrielle shook her head. “Because you want me to be afraid of you.” She whispered. “And that hurts.”

Xena’s gaze went internal for a bit. Then she pushed off the wall and went back to her chair, slumping into it and letting her head rest against her hand. “Then get out of here.”  She told Gabrielle. “Because that’s just the way it has to be.”

Gabrielle looked at the door, knowing she had only to go through it and she would be free of the danger of this room. She eased away from the wall and started walking, but found herself at Xena’s side instead of across the hall heading for safety.

“I said, get out.” Xena repeated.

Now, she was close enough to see the trembling of Xena’s fingers as they rested against her forehead. “Xena?”

“What?” The queen snapped.

Gabrielle knelt at her side, leaning on the chair arm and catching sight of her eyes.

“I said, GET OUT!” Xena bellowed, her free hand swiping hastily across her face. “NOW!”

But the tears had told Gabrielle all she needed to know, and the fear flowed out of her as easily as her breathing. Carefully, she put a hand on Xena’s knee, knowing she was risking dire injury, and not really caring.

Xena shifted, and grabbed her, a hand on both shoulders.

Gabrielle fought down the panic and caught the queen around both biceps with her hands, staring her right in the eye.

They rode in the balance, at the edge of violence for just long enough.

“I’m sorry.” Gabrielle whispered, loving her in spite of everything. “I’m sorry I said that.”  She released one hand and gently touched Xena’s face, removing the last trace of a tear. “Please don’t make me leave. I want to be with you.”

There was absolutely no reaction, and then Xena blinked. She released Gabrielle’s shoulders, and let her hands drop down to the slave’s waist, gazing down at her with a weary, perplexed expression. “Why?” She asked, with a tiny shake of her head.

Very good question. There were really only two honest answers to that, and admitting to insanity didn’t really seem to be a very good idea at the moment. “Because I love you.” She gave up the second. “I know you probably don’t want to hear that, though.”

Surprisingly, the words seemed to relax the queen. Her body shifted, and exhaled. Her head slowly lowered, until her forehead rested against Gabrielle’s. “What makes you say that? You think I’d rather have you tell me you hated me?”

Gabrielle relaxed a little too. “No.”

Xena sighed. “Maybe I would.” She muttered. “At least then I wouldn’t have to worry about you turning on me.”

Gabrielle slowly released her held breath. “Xena…”

“Yeah, I know.” The queen cut her off. “I know.” Slowly, she put her arms around Gabrielle and pulled her close. “You trust me not to cut your head off, least I can do is trust you not to sell me down the river.”  She stared over Gabrielle’s shoulder, at her own rust stained hands. “Limited options, my friend. Limited options.”

The slave took a deep breath. “So… what comes next?”

Xena rested her chin against Gabrielle’s soft hair. “I don’t know, Gabrielle.” She admitted softly. “I just don’t know.”

Gabrielle hugged her, having nothing else to add to that.

The queen grunted softly.  “Hey. Got any water?”  She pulled her head back and eyed the blond woman. “I’ve got sticky fingers.”

“I think I can fix that.” Gabrielle managed a smile. “C’mon.”

They walked together to the sideboard. Xena put her hands in the water, and watched as Gabrielle washed them.

**

Gabrielle had removed the basin of water, and was sitting on a small stool near the edge of Xena's dais just watching the queen think.  The woman sitting on the throne had been pondering in silence for quite a while, her pale blue eyes roving restlessly over the room in an otherwise still face.

Whatever she was thinking, it apparently wasn't very pleasant, if the dour glare was any indication.

Gabrielle felt sort of useless. She knew Xena was trying to figure out what to do, and she also knew she had very little experience or knowledge to help her do that. However, just sitting there wasn't doing anything either, and Xena hadn't said she couldn't try to help so...

With a tiny sigh, she stood up and climbed the steps to the top of the dais, settling cross-legged at Xena's feet.

Almost immediately, Xena shifted and reached over, tugging her ear. “Hey."

Gabrielle was glad of the acknowledgement. She looked up at the queen. "Things are really mixed up, aren't they?"

Xena nodded gravely. "Yes, they are." She stroked Gabrielle's hair idly, sorting amongst its pale locks with her fingers. "So, what would you do to straighten it out, hmm? Have a lamb chop party?"

Gabrielle leaned her elbows on her knees and rested her chin on her fists. "Um... no, I don't think so." She said. "It seems to me like everyone is really mad about something, but I can't figure out what it is."

Xena eyed her in wry bemusement. "Uh huh."

"I mean..." The slave wriggled a little closer. "It's not like stuff is awful here. Everyone seems pretty okay, I mean other than the slaves, and it's all really nice and all fruitful and all that."

"Uh huh." The queen nodded again. "You're right about that. The harvest this year doubled last year, and everyone's been able to make good money on the surplus."

Gabrielle nibbled the inside of her lip. "Well, okay... so..." Her brow creased. "Then... what's the problem?" She looked up. "Why is everyone so angry? If everything is so good?"

Xena gazed across the room at the huge, almost life-sized portrait of her, dripping in jewels and silk that graced the wall.  "Why?" She mused. "Because they hate me, Gabrielle."

"Hate you?"

The queen nodded. "I came in here and deposed one of them." She remarked. "The guy I took the throne from had been king for a score of years, and his family'd been in charge since Zeus was in diapers." Xena leaned on the chair arm. "And here I was a peasant brat with a ragtag army who swept across the land and took it all away from them."

"Oh."

"They hate me. Even if I was Aphrodite incarnate, and rode over the land giving nut pastries to babies they'd hate me, and there's not a damn thing I can do to change that." Xena concluded. "Doesn't matter that I'm a better ruler than old what's his face ever was, and they've got more to show for me sitting on this pain in the literal ass chair."

Gabrielle absorbed all that. "That's kind of stupid." She admitted.

"Yeah." Xena rested her head on her hand.

"Can't you make a deal with them?"

The queen was silent for a bit. "Not any kind of deal I'd ever agree to. That's where Bregos came in. They were trying to force him on me as a mate."

"Ew."

A faint smile appeared on Xena's face. "Ah, you're developing a discriminating taste, are you?"

"I picked you, didn't I?" Gabrielle dared a small joke, despite the gravity of the moment.  "Even if you had agreed to marry Bregos... that doesn't really get them what they wanted, does it? You'd still have been in charge."

"Mm." Xena half shrugged. "I think they figured if I got married and settled down... had a few kids, maybe I'd get docile enough for them to control. For Bregos to control."

Gabrielle looked at her. "Do you think that's true?"

Xena took a long time to answer.  "I don't know." She tugged on Gabrielle's ear again. "What do you think?"

Her slave pondered the question. "I don't think so." She said. "I think you... once, when I was little, there was a wolf that was attacking the sheep near our village."

"Gabrielle, you just changed direction so fast your breasts are hanging over your shoulder."

"Heh heh." Gabrielle chuckled a little. "No, seriously... the men in the village banded together, with all the dogs, and they went after the wolf." She wrapped her arms around her knees. "After a long time, they cornered it, and they went in to kill it, because it had killed some of the sheep."

"Reasonable." Xena commented.

"They thought so too." Gabrielle agreed. "But when they went after it, the wolf fought them so fiercely, they had to run away."

Xena snorted.

"I stayed."

"Did you?" The queen smothered a chuckle.

"I wanted to see if it was okay or not." Gabrielle admitted. "So I hid behind a bush, downwind of the hole the wolf had run into, and I waited, and I watched..."

"Mm?" Xena leaned forward, intrigued.

"And after a while, the wolf came out, and with her came three little babies."

"Babies?" Xena's eyebrows shot up. "I heard an old Roman tale about that."

"Wolf babies." The slave explained. "Puppies, or cubs, or whatever they call them."  She looked up at Xena. "The wolf was their mother, and she wouldn't let anyone hurt them, and she was willing to risk her life stealing the sheep so they would have enough to eat and not die."

"Mm."

"So I think you'd be like that." Gabrielle concluded. "I think you would be fierce, and not let anyone hurt your baby or mess with you."

Xena sat back, with a thoughtful look. "I think you may be right." She said. "But we'll never find out because I'm not planning on spawning."

"Oh."  The slave said. "Well, that's too bad, because I bet you'd have really cute babies."

The queen snorted eloquently. "No, you'd have really cute babies." She poked Gabrielle. "I'd have gangly terrors who'd probably tear the stronghold down. Now. Let's stop talking about breeding and figure out what we're going to do next."

"Okay." Gabrielle said. "What was Bregos offering all those guys, anyway? Besides a guy in charge?"

Ah. Good question.  Xena cocked her head to one side. "Security." She finally decided. "These damned pansy assed silk britched nitwits are scared to death of change. Bregos offered them a chance for a long term plan."

"Oh. So why don't you do that?"

"Because I don't have a male piece the size of a shelled peanut to promise them an heir with." Xena's face twitched into a half snarl. "And I'll be damned if I'll take one of them to my bed just to give them warm and fuzzies."

Gabrielle reflected on the fact that she wouldn't much like that either. Though she'd only shared Xena's pillow for a very short time, she found herself resenting any suggestion that she might have to share it, especially with any of the nobles she'd met so far.  "Ick."

"Mm."

"But couldn't you make some kind of deal, with some of them? Just to get them on your side?" Gabrielle asked. "I know you said you could... I mean, force them to, but..."

"You're not going to give me that honey and vinegar speech, are you?"

"Huh?" Gabrielle frowned. "What does that have to do with making a deal?"

Xena got up and started pacing. "I don't want to make a deal, Gabrielle. I want to bring in all of them, and just relieve my frustration by cutting their throats."  She said. "They won't ever keep a bargain with me, so what's the point?"

"Did you ever try it?"

"Gaaabrrieeelle...."

The slave got up and joined her queen in pacing. "Well, did you? Would it be so bad to give it one try?"

Xena turned and gave her an exasperated look. "Yes." She snapped. "It would hurt my image, because everyone knows I don't MAKE deals."

They both paced back and forth. "Well." Gabrielle tried another tack. "Is your image working now?"

Xena sighed. "Gabrielle, look." She stopped and faced the slave. After a moment's silence, she frowned. "Maybe I could talk to Lastay. He's not that bad."

Gabrielle smiled.

"In fact..." Xena put her hands on her hips. "I think I've got something he might just be willing to jump off his fence for."  She said. "Go out there, and send him inside. Then I want you to go down to the barracks, and find Brendan. Tell him I'm not holding him responsible for Bregos' men. I want to see him as soon as possible, all right?"

"Right." Gabrielle said.  She turned and headed for the door, carefully skirting the blood stain on the floor. She turned as she started to leave, and met Xena's eyes. "I'm sure this'll work out, Xena. You'll see."

Xena watched her disappear, as a mildly sardonic smile appeared on her face. "I doubt it, my little innocent friend... but what the Hades. I'll give it a try. At least it'll postpone the bloodbath."

She returned to her seat, strolling across the blood stained stone and picking up the wine cup she'd been sipping from. She settled into the chair and took a swallow, running over what she planned to say in her head.

Lastay was, as she'd said, all right. He came from a family who had gained their lands when she'd deposed their former king. Because of that, he wasn't really part of the old boy network in the kingdom, nor was he predisposed to prefer the impotent whiner she'd butchered to her.

He was also pretty smart. Xena grudgingly found herself halfway liking him. No sense in letting him know that, though. She fixed the door with a baleful glare as it opened, and watched Lastay flinch as it hit him. "Get in here." She growled. "We need to talk."

He closed the door, and straightened his shoulders. "Yes, Mistress."  He cleared his throat. "I am, as always, at your disposal."

Xena chuckled. "Thanks. But I promised Gabrielle I'd try talking before I disposed of you, so c'mere before I get up and drag you over here by your tonsils."

Lastay issued a wan smile, and marched forward, as though to his doom.

**

Gabrielle trotted down the main steps, feeling pretty good about having gotten Xena to at least think about talking through her problem.  She knew things were very serious, but in her heart of hearts, she also believed that just going out and killing everyone really wasn't the answer.

There had to be a better way.

She reached the ground floor and walked across the hall to the long corridor that lead into the yards, finding it hard to believe that she'd gone that way to watch Xena save a fellow slave just so few days prior.  So much had changed.

She had changed. Gabrielle twitched her over tunic straight, and worked the latch on the door, pushing it open and going outside. It was cold, but sunny, and she took a breath of the clean air as she headed towards the barracks.

It was quiet in the yards today, and as she looked to the right, where the barracks she'd visited the last time with Xena was, she saw the doors and wooden shutters wide open, its deserted appearance very evident.  Frowning,

Gabrielle turned to the left and headed for the other barracks, this one visibly better kept and just as evidently occupied.

The door opened as she reached it, and she stepped back as a tall, blond soldier left the building. He stopped as he spotted her and hesitated. "M'lady."

Gabrielle smiled at him. "Just Gabrielle." She said. "I'm looking for Brendan... is he inside?"

The tall man studied her for a moment, and then he opened the door and held it for her. "He is, m'lady. Do you come from the queen?"

"Yes."  Gabrielle watched his face carefully.

His gentle smile reassured her. "Then you are doubly welcome. Come inside." He followed her. "Brendan? Front and Center, sir. The queen would have you."

Gabrielle stepped inside, and stopped. This barracks was very different than the other one had been.

Very different.

**

“Siddown.” Xena indicated the low stool Gabrielle had used.  She watched Lastay from under hooded eyelids as he settled next to her, his gaze lifting to hers with a wary, though surprisingly open expression. “I’m not a happy woman.”

“Mistress, I did not expect you to be.” Lastay replied quietly. “The extent of the good general’s treachery is now laid open to you.”

Xena regarded him. “Did you know?” She asked casually, as he folded his hands together in front of him. They were shaking, she noted.

He paused before he answered, and his feet shifted. “Yes, Mistress, I did.”

The queen was surprised. Not that the duke had known, but that he’d admitted it, knowing her temper. It raised him up in her estimation, though she suspected he didn’t know that. “Ah.” She murmured. “Should I kill you now?”

Lastay lifted his head. “You can do that, Mistress.” He said. “But of all those who profess to kneel to you, I am the least of your enemies.”

“Mm….yeah.” Xena had to agree. “Well, except for my little Gabrielle, of course.” She added. “So what should I do with you, Lastay? I’ve given you lands… beasts… slaves… the castle steward favors your grain when he buys… and you turn against me.”

The Duke sighed. “No, Mistress.” He shook his head. “What you say is true…you have been more than generous. I said that I knew what was afoot... not that I agreed with it. I stood to lose all, if Bregos won out.”

Xena got up, and circled him. “So you say.”  She uttered softly.  “But why should I believe you, Lastay?”

He was sweating, even in the chill of the chamber. “Mistress, I have never lied to you.”

She stopped directly behind him. “So you say.”   Her hand appeared lazily, the bright blade of her dagger moving as she twirled it lightly between her fingers.  She watched his back shift, as he started breathing heavier, and she could almost smell the fear rising up off his body.

Ick.  “But I don’t really know if that’s true or not…. Now do I?” Xena said, drawing the edge of her blade across the back of his neck.  The nape hairs rose after her, and she could see the beads of sweat forming at his hairline.

“No, Mistress.” He whispered.

The point of her dagger came to rest on the very center of his spine, in a small depression just at the base of his skull where one simple push would penetrate and kill him.  Xena studied the small interlace of dark hair that traveled down the centerline of his neck and imagined what it would look like doused in blood.

“Lastay.” Xena said. “I am not going to run into the night like a whipped cur.”

He didn’t answer.

“I am the ruler of this land, and I intend to keep it that way, whatever I have to do and that includes slaughtering every single one of you and putting cart drovers into your places.”

“Aye, Mistress.” Lastay said. “That is known to me.”

Xena leaned on the dagger, just a little. “What is it they want, Lastay?” She asked. “Besides someone else on the throne?”

The duke swallowed audibly. He rubbed his thumbs together, his body tensing as he resisted the urge to move, or turn. “You… “He paused. “You gall them, Mistress.”

“Oo. Big surprise.” Xena chuckled.

Lastay did something unexpected. He straightened, pushing against the blade, which broke the skin before Xena could withdraw it. Then he turned his head and looked up at her. “Mistress, you despise us.”

Xena arched her neck and peered at him. “Yes, I do.”

“They why expect loyalty from us?”

Hm. Xena juggled the dagger in her hand and strolled across the room to the crystal wine decanter. She used the action of pouring herself another glass to give herself a chance to think about that. “I don’t.” She swirled the wine in her cup and sipped it. “You hate me, Lastay.”

His lashes fluttered closed, then slid up and he focused on her. “Not all of us, Mistress.”

“Ah ah... no lying.” Xena pointed the dagger at him.

“I am not.” Lastay stated. “Killing me won’t change that. But yes, Mistress, most do hate you.” He said. “You denigrate their manhood.”

Xena returned to her chair and sat down. “Ah yes. Xena the Merciless, royal neuterer of the land.” She rested the blade of her knife against her lower lip. “Lastay, I will never be the ruler they want.”

He let out a breath of relief. “No, Mistress. You won’t.”

The queen smiled at him. “But you might.” She said. “Wanna be my heir?”

Watching the duke’s face, Xena decided she could get used to a reaction other than fear. It was actually sort of pleasant.

Not that she’d admit that to Gabrielle, of course.

Not for a while, anyway.

**

Gabrielle let her eyes wander over the barracks. There was a… a wildness to it that was totally different than the Bregos mens’ quarters had been. On the walls were animal hides, and furs covered the cots instead of woolen blankets.

It smelled of muskiness, and steel, and leather. There was armor hung everywhere, on wooden pegs, well cared for though also well used.

On the back wall, a black banner was spread, with a golden hawk in the center. One side was tattered and burnt, but the care it was kept with was very evident.

Brendan appeared, and moved towards her. He was dressed in a pair of leather breeches and a woven green shirt, and he wiped his hands off on a cloth as he approached her. “G’day to you, m’lady.”

“Just Gabrielle.” Gabrielle corrected him, with a smile. “Her Majesty said for me to come get you.”

Rather than appearing afraid, Brendan looked pleased with the summons. “Let me just put a tunic on then, m...”

Gabrielle shook her finger at him.

Brendan smiled. “All right, Gabrielle it is.”  He went to his space, in the front of the barracks, a place of obvious honor.  “Jeras, let’s get out t’the yard when I gets back, and work the kinks out.” He addressed the tall blond man. “Time we took this stronghold back for ours.”

“Aye, sir.” Jeras agreed briskly. “Would you ask her Majesty to...? “

“Come watch?” Brendan peered over his shoulder.

“Join us.” Jeras completed his statement. “We miss her in the drills.”

Gabrielle listened with interest, glad beyond reason to hear words directed at the queen that were not full of envy, or dislike.  “I think she misses you too.” She spoke up quietly.

The men all turned and looked at her.

“There aren’t many friends in that tower.”

Brendan straightened up and walked over to her, cocking his head to one side. “I’d say about one, matter’s of fact.” He told her. “But I don’t know as her Majesty would come to spend some time in the mud with us.”

Gabrielle just grinned at him.

“Is it true about Alaran?” Jeras asked, suddenly.

It wiped the grin off her face. Gabrielle remembered the horror, and felt again the chill across the back of her neck.  She was aware of the men gathering around her curiously, and she took a breath before she lifted her eyes to meet Jeras’.  “Yes, it’s true.”

“Ah.” Brendan grunted. “That’s a stinger.”

Jeras snorted. “He was a two faced bastard and you know it, Bren. He finally showed his price this time.”

“Aye.” Brendan straightened his tunic, and gestured for Gabrielle to precede him. “T’wasn’t him I meant.” He followed Gabrielle to the door, and opened it, then walked with her outside into the cool, dry air.  “I know her majesty must be disappointed in us.”

Gabrielle glanced over at the empty barracks. “She said to say she doesn’t hold you responsible for that.”

“No.” Brendan sighed. “But I do.” He shook his head. “Stupid bastards. Don’t’ know a leader when one fell on them. Too tied up in their damned egos to think straight.”

“Where do you think they went?” Gabrielle asked.

“Out there.” Brendan shaded his eyes, and peered off towards the mountains. “Where I wish we were, sometimes.” He said. “No matter how warm the cots, or good the food.”

“So…” Gabrielle gently probed him. “Why didn’t you go with them? If that’s what you really want?”

The old soldier gazed at her. “If she’d go, I’d follow.” He said. “So’s the lot of us.”

Gabrielle walked by his side in silence for a little while, as they approached the stone walls, and the heavy wooden door.  “Why?” She asked suddenly. “Everyone else here hates her.”

Brendan gently pulled her to a halt just outside the door. He leaned against the wall, and let his weathered hands fall against his thighs. “Why?” He considered. “She bled for us.” He regarded a scar on the back of his knuckles.  “She almost died for us.”

Somehow, that didn’t surprise Gabrielle at all.

“Some backwater hole… bunch of us stopped by there, not lookin for any trouble.” Brendan went on. “Just got us a meal, and some ale… paid for it, we did. But them folks recognized us from a bounty poster and figured to get them a haul so they snuck out and sold us to the guard.”

“Mm.” Gabrielle murmured.

“Thought we was dead men. Bounty didn’t care.” Brendan looked up into the sunlight. “Had us tied up and branded, half way to dying when Xena found us. She’d gone off to do some reccon, and come back to find us missing, and she got on her horse and she rode.

He took a deep breath. “As long as I live, I will remember her coming in there, just her against a legion of them.” He said. “She fought and she fought and she fought like a wild thing until they turned tail and just ran… and she then she cut us down.”

“Wow.”

“Wasn’t a part of her wasn’t cut or broke.” Brendan slowly shook his head. “But she done got us. Went back and burned that damn backwater to the ground for it, too.”

Gabrielle remembered being carried up a long flight of stone steps in the rain.

“Didn’t find out till long time later, the damn place was her home town.”

Oh. Gabrielle felt out of breath all of a sudden, as a bit of knowledge was trying valiantly to surface into her conscious mind, something she’d heard, something she….

“Anyway, that’s just since you asked, little one. Let’s not keep her Majesty waiting.” Brendan opened the door for her. “And, Gabrielle?”

Distracted, she looked up at him. “Yes?”

Brendan put a hand on her shoulder. “I’m damn glad she finally found someone who makes her laugh. Been too long for her.”

The bit of knowledge floated off, out of her reach. “Thanks.” Gabrielle smiled at him, and then ducked inside the door, with Brendan at her back.  “Sometimes things happen and you don’t understand why, but it ends up okay anyway.” She paused. “I love her.”

“And so do I.” Brendan put his hand on her back, and they walked towards the hall.

**

“Mistress, I am dumbfounded.” Lastay finally murmured.

“Half right.” Xena leaned against the arm of her chair and crossed her ankles.

“Mistress?”

“Never mind.” The queen chuckled softly.  “Lastay, I don’t want to found a dynasty. I’m not looking to be called the queen mother, and I’ve got no intention of marrying some wealthy starched ass just to give this land the warm and fuzzies. You understand me?”

The duke’s entire attitude had shifted. He was no longer nervous, now his body language spoke of wary encouragement and definite interest.  “I think I do my liege.”

The outer door opened, and Gabrielle slipped inside. She paused when she saw them, and looked at Xena in question.

“C’mon in, hot stuff.” Xena waved her forward. “Got Brendan?”

Gabrielle opened the door and stepped aside to allow the old soldier to enter. They walked together to the dais. Gabrielle was glad to see the duke apparently unharmed, and she took her spot at Xena’s side, kneeling next to the chair as the queen resumed her discussion.

Hot stuff? The errant comment suddenly surfaced in her recall.

“So, if I’m not going to lay a litter of puppies for the lot of you, it seems to me that I need to settle who’s going to be the unlucky bastard who gets this job when I get tired of it.” Xena stated.

Lastay laced his fingers together and leaned his chin against them, crouched down as he was on the low stool. “Me?”

Xena nodded.

Brendan chuckled, as he took up a position on the first step, one that had formerly been claimed by Alaran.

Lastay collected himself. “But… your majesty, we… I thought you had told the council… everyone has always imagined that you would…”

Xena turned her head and looked at Gabrielle. “What do you think, should I turn this place over to someone who can’t even finish a single sentence?”

“Mm.” Gabrielle was a little amazed herself, at Xena’s attitude. “I thought queens all did that dynasty thing.”

“Not this queen.” Xena shook her head. “I told you, no spawning.”

“But, Mistress, you had considered taking a consort!” Lastay objected. “Not that I am not honored beyond speech by your offer, but you naming an heir... had never been considered!”

“Yeah, well.” Xena continued examining Gabrielle’s face. “That was before I found someone I wanted to spend my time with.”

There was a period of awkward silence. Xena ignored it, and amused herself with tracing the line of Gabrielle’s blush up the arch of her neck to her cheek with an idle fingertip. “So there isn’t going to be any more talk about a consort, Lastay.  You want the job of being my heir, or not?”

The duke inhaled audibly. “Your majesty, it would be my greatest honor.”

“It would be your biggest pain in the ass, too.” Xena said. “Everyone’s going to want a piece of you.”

“Yes.” He murmured. “I realize that.”

“I’ll increase your land decrees, and give you a royal stipend.” The queen said, finally turning her head to look at him. “You want something, you ask. If I find out you’re dealing to unseat me, I’ll gut you. Understood?”

Lastay nodded. “Majesty, if you will let me, I will use their greed to build a true base of support for your reign. I do not wish that chair.” His eyes dropped to the bloodstain on the floor, then darted back to her face. “But more than that, I don’t want others to have it.”

Xena laughed. “Lastay, you know you could die for this. I had a set of jackasses take a pot shot at me just the other day.”

His head snapped up, his eyes widening in surprise. “Majesty?”

Was he lying? Pretending he didn’t know? Xena wondered. “C’mon, you must have heard about it. Bregos was counting on that to win our little fight.”

Lastay rose and paced across the floor, disturbed. “No… they seemed eager to take our bets but…” He made a small sound somewhere between a snort and a spit. “Bastards.”

Xena propped her head up on her fist and regarded him with some amusement.

“But you were not injured, my liege, so their plan came to nothing.” Lastay concluded.

Tell him? The queen wrestled with an unfamiliar strategy.  “Don’t sell my reputation for being the hardest ass in the kingdom short, my little dukelet.” She said. “I had a hole in my back you could have put your fist through.”

“No!”  Lastay looked at Gabrielle, for some reason. “It’s not true!”

Gabrielle nodded solemnly.

“Bregos?” The duke seemed astonished. “Insanity! They would never have let him take the crown so! He was…” Lastay paused, awkwardly.

“Yes?” Xena’s voice had dropped to a low, velvety rumble. She pinned Lastay with her eyes, all sense of humor vanished completely. “He was what, Lastay?”

Brendan shifted, sensing the change. He took an unconscious step closer to the queen’s seat.

The duke froze in place.

Gabrielle put her hand on the arm of Xena’s chair and leaned against it. “If there’s something you know, you should say what it is.” She spoke up quietly, and for the first time. Her voice sounded high, and odd in the large room, and it brought Xena’s head right around as the queen stared at her.

“You have to start trusting somewhere.” The slave continued, meeting the duke’s eyes. “And pick where you want to put your loyalty. You can’t have it both ways.”

Lastay remained silent, and then he sighed. “Aye, lass.” He returned to the low stool, and settled on it, sucking on his lower lip as he crossed his boots in front of him and rested his elbows on his thighs, a completely un-duke like posture that was almost juvenile in it’s casualness.

Xena leaned over and kissed Gabrielle on the lips. Then she returned her attention to the duke and waited, twiddling her thumbs in front of her. “Well?”

“Bregos was their paid stooge.” Lastay said. “A number of the big landowners got together and offered him the earth if he could bring you to bed, and said they’d back him.”  He picked at one of the laces on his leather boots. “Twasn’t to put him into your place.”  His head lifted, and he looked at Xena. “No matter how they hate, tis fear of you that keeps enemies outside our far pastures, my liege, and none of them is so stupid as to ignore that.”

“Even with Brego’s battle successes?” Xena asked, secretly quite pleased.

“Even so.” The duke said. “So to hear he put his hand against you, Mistress, shocks me.”

And Xena didn’t think he really had, so that meshed. Bregos would have gladly taken advantage of her injury, but she didn’t really think he had the guts or the ambition to go for the big prize. Though it would be convenient for her to believe otherwise – that would wrap up her little mystery neatly – she knew there were pieces to this puzzle that she still didn’t have in her hands.

“Why didn’t you just tell me about this, Lastay? Instead of hinting around it like a spinster knitting in the corner?” Xena asked. “What was in it for you?”

Lastay studied the ground for a long moment. “They were holding my wife, Mistress.” He admitted.

Now it was Xena’s turn to be shocked. “What?”  She got up and walked over to him, grabbing him by the scruff of the neck and hauling him to his feet. “You idiot!!! Why in Hades didn’t you say something?” She bellowed at the top of her voice, shaking the glasses on the sideboard.

Gabrielle scrambled up and trotted over, with Brendan at her heels. She put a hand on Xena’s back and peered at the duke. “Do they still have her? That’s awful!”

“Gggaaabbbrriellle.” Xena rumbled. “This is my interrogation.”  She turned back to Lastay. “Do they?” She shook him hard.

“N…Mistress, please!”

Xena stopped shaking him, substituting a glare.

“They….  It’s her cousin, my liege. They tell me she’s safe.” Lastay said. “I have no reason to believe otherwise.”

Xena drummed her fingers on his forehead. Then she stopped the motion, and cocked her head. “You want her back?”  She asked.

“Mistress!” The duke protested. “She is my dearest wife!”

The queen shrugged. “Just asking.” She released him. “Brendan?”

“Majesty?” The soldier stepped briskly over to her. “Want me t’scare up where they got the little lady?”

“No. Lastay’s gonna tell me that. Just get together a handful of men who don’t mind skulking.” Xena told him. “Have them get horses ready to go out after dark.”

Brendan ducked his head. “I’ll lead em myself, Mistress.”  He turned and walked quickly out, closing the door behind him.

“Betcha won’t.” Xena muttered under her breath. “All right, Lastay. Spill it.”

“Mistress… they said they wouldn’t hurt her.” The duke held both hands out. “I am in discussion with them to retrieve her... there is no need for you to risk any of the men.”

“Wrong.” Xena paced across the room, twitching her robe around her as she moved. “They know you didn’t agree with them, they know you’re in here talking to me, and I haven’t thrown your body out that door yet. They’ve got leverage on you and that….!” Xena turned and pointed at him. “I can’t allow.”

Lastay sighed, an odd expression on his face. “I understand, Mistress.”

The queen paced. “Her cousin’s Edvest, isn’t it? He’s got a townhouse here and that ugly rock pile out to the west.”

“My men have watched the townhouse, Mistress. They don’t believe she is there.” Lastay murmured.

“Of course not. That’d be easy.” Xena snorted. “All right. Listen. I’m gonna throw you out of here, and you let it be known that you’re on my shit list, understand?”

The duke nodded.  “Not to give them reason to move her, or otherwise, Mistress?”

“Exactly.” The queen gripped him by the back of his tunic and started for the door. “Try to act appropriately scared, and make sure you tell everyone what a bitch I am,”

She grabbed the handle and yanked the door open. “Next time, I’ll send you out in little pieces you half assed brainless gnat!”  With a shove, she sent Lastay sprawling out into the outer chamber. The assembled nobles scrambled out of the way, and she noticed that Alaran’s body had been removed. “Anyone else?” She snarled.

Frozen faces looked back at her.

“Anyone who’s got any more gripes better think about taking Brego’s way out.” The queen told them harshly. “Because I’m in a killing mood.”  She turned and slammed the door in their faces, then pivoted on her heel and stalked back to her seat. She turned, fluffed her skirt out and sat down, then pointed at Gabrielle and crooked her finger. “C’mere.”

Gabrielle obeyed.

“Sit.” Xena pointed at her lap.

“Are you sure?” The slave queried.

“No, I’m Xena. Now sit.”

Gabrielle sat down, and was gathered into Xena’s arms for a delightfully surprising hug. “This is getting so complicated.” She said.

“No it isn’t.” Xena kissed her. “It’s just getting interesting.” She nipped Gabrielle’s nose. “Very interesting.”  It was, she realized, as though she were waking up from a long nap.

Yeah.

**

It was sunset.

Xena stood on the upper stone walkway outside her tower and gazed out over the landscape, enjoying the cool wind that ruffled her hair into supreme disorder.   She could smell the change on the breeze, the rich scent of wood smoke and the burning of peat in fireplaces as the chill settled over the land.

Somewhere off in the slight distance, she could smell meat roasting.

It angered her, in a remote way, because her leadership had given them the wealth that let the surplus animals be killed for meat, instead of kept to decrepitude for the last possible chance at milk, or offspring.  She had done that.

She was a good steward of the land, and in her heart, she knew she’d done well by the people who lived off it.  One only had to look at the birth rolls to know that.

The door opened behind her, and she cocked her ears, playing a little game with herself she used to keep her senses sharp.

Boots rasped against the stone. Xena focused in on the sound, noting its lightness. She caught a gently indrawn breath, and heard the wood of the door brush against a narrow shoulder as it closed. It hadn’t opened wide enough to allow a soldier through, the hinges had barely creaked once, much less the three times that would have required. Ergo, either she had a young boy at her back or something much more pleasant.

The footsteps, almost soundless, approached. The leather barely scraped against the stone, and there was a faint rustle of woolen cloth.

“Ah, Gabrielle.” Xena leaned on the parapet, gazing confidently out at the reddening light. “Come to watch a romantic sunset with your favorite tyrant?”

The slave came up next to her, and put her hands on the stone. “How did you know it was me?” She asked.

“I have many skills.” Xena replied. “One of them is knowing who is sneaking up from behind.”

“I wasn’t sneaking.” Gabrielle leaned against the stone, soaking up the sunlight. “That’s really pretty, isn’t it?” She marveled at the scenery.  “Look at how golden that light is… and those trees! It’s like they’re glowing.”

Xena tilted her head to one side and examined instead the gilded profile next to her. She envied the wonder in those misty green eyes, something she herself had lost a long time before.  Even though Gabrielle’s life so far hadn’t been a picnic, she’d held onto that.

But for how long?

Xena returned her attention to the horizon. “I’m going to take you up to a private place of mine, tonight.” She told her slave. “I want you to stay there, and not budge until I get back.”

Gabrielle turned to her, with a puzzled expression. “Where are you going?”

On a fool’s errand? The queen had to wonder, herself. “I’m going with the men I’m sending after Lastay’s chit.”  She told Gabrielle. “I want to make sure it gets done right… no screw ups.”

“Oh.” Gabrielle folded her arms on the top of the wall and rested her chin on her wrists. “Can’t I go with you?”

“No.” The queen snapped, giving her a severe look. “It’s dangerous and you’ll probably get us all killed.”

Gabrielle accepted this, with a rueful nod, but remained silent, her eyes flicking across the sunset lit trees. What Xena said was probably true, and since she knew absolutely nothing about skulking around in the dark trying to spring a kidnapped woman, it made sense for her to stay here, in a safe place.

Gabrielle sighed. Yes, it did make sense, but she knew sitting somewhere wondering what was going on, and hoping nothing bad was happening was just going to be awful.  What if something did happen? Her eyes slid to the queen’s profile. What if something happened to Xena?

What would she do?  She knew returning to the slave quarters now would be a fate worse than death for her – she had no friends there, and none in the nobility save the woman she stood next to. Without Xena’s protection, she figured her life would be measured in days.

Hours?

“Why in the Hades would you want to come with me?” Xena suddenly asked.

Gabrielle turned her back on the sun and folded her arms as she looked up at the queen. “Because I don’t want to be here if you don’t come back.”

Xena’s dark eyebrows hiked sharply up. ‘What? What makes you think I won’t?” The queen laughed. “It’s not a war, Gabrielle. We’re just going to do a little raid, that’s all.”

The slave shrugged one shoulder. “Stuff happens.”  She admitted softly. “What if there’s three arrows again?”

Xena turned also, and draped an arm over Gabrielle’s shoulders. “C’mon. Help me put on that armor.” She started to walk towards the door. “That should keep even three or four of those damn things outside my skin.”  She was touched, though, by the sincerity of the concern she could hear in Gabrielle’s voice; no matter it was probably her own skin she was worried about.  “It would take a lot more than some scrungy stronghold guards to put me on the pyre, my friend.”

Gabrielle reached forward, and pulled the door open. “I know, I just...”

It happened so quickly, she didn’t even see it. There was just a blast of air that smelt like unwashed humanity, and she hit the stone floor as Xena shoved her down out of the way.

Things were moving around her, but she curled into a ball out of pure instinct, and pressed herself against the wall, trying to stay out of danger.

Xena caught the glint of steel and let out a wild yell, freezing the man in place just long enough for her to get her hands free of Gabrielle’s body and clamp her fingers down on the wrist of the hand holding the knife.

She threw her body backwards, pulling the leather armored figure after her and turned, using the momentum to her favor as she slammed him into the stone wall on the other side of the door. She felt the arm bones under her fingers crack, and the soft clank as the knife hit the ground.

Then she got her other hand around his throat and touched two pressure points.

The man started to choke, and fell to his knees, giving her a chance to examine him. A slave, she realized, from the kitchens by his dress. She stepped back and watched dispassionately as he fought to breathe, his fingers scrabbling at his neck helplessly.

Gabrielle scrambled up from the ground and clutched her arm. “Xena!”

“Hm? The queen wiped her hands off on her robe.

“What are you doing?”

Xena looked at the man, then at her slave. “Watching him die, why?”

“But... he didn’t do anything!” Gabrielle protested, her eyes widening in horror. She recognized the man as one of the stock handlers from the yard, a mild, gentle sort who’d sat across from her during one of her few meals in the kitchens and given her a smile.

“He came up here, with a knife in his hands.” Xena told her. “You die for that here, Gabrielle. Everyone knows it.”

“But... maybe he just made a mistake!” Gabrielle watched the man’s face turning blue. “Oh, gods.” She dropped to her knees next to him and tried to ease his struggles. “Gods... don’t do this.”

“Gabrielle!”

“No!” The slave’s hands went helplessly to the man’s face. “He didn’t do anything to you!”

Xena’s hands twitched, as she got caught in a sense of confusion alien to her.  “Damn right! I got him first!”

“But he didn’t attack!”

“He would have!” Xena felt a strange sense of angry absurdity over it all. “Get away from him!”

“Gods.” Gabrielle almost sobbed. “Oh, gods, please no...”  She felt the man stiffen under her hands.

Xena hesitated, and then looked to the knife on the floor, about to point to it as proof of the rightness of what she was doing.

Her eyes fastened on it. Then she cursed, a base oath that nearly made the stone crack as she stooped next to the man, tearing Gabrielle’s hands away as she fought to find the right…spot….

His eyes rolled wildly, and his body arched, then suddenly slumped and relaxed, with a shudder.

The rasping of his breath sounded loud on the parapet.

Xena stood and walked to the wall, resting her hands against it and staring out over the trees, more than shaken.

Gabrielle watched the purple in the man’s face recede, his chest heaving as life returned to him, though he was still out cold.  A huge sense of relief passed over her, and she stood, walking to Xena’s side and putting her arms around her. “Thank you.” She hugged the queen.

Xena felt her arms close around Gabrielle in numb instinct. She looked over the slave’s shoulder to the slumped figure on the floor, rattled to her very core at the mistake she’d almost made. “Wasn’t for you.” She said, in a husky voice, her eyes tracing the outline of the hoof knife lying mutely on the stone. Next to it was a chunk of something that might have been rock, but she knew it wasn’t.

Horse hoof.

There was a reason for someone to be up here, with those things, and it had been so long since she’d been sought out for her animal skills she’d forgotten completely about that.

“I don’t care.” Gabrielle told her. “I’m just glad you did it.”  She sniffled, and looked up at Xena. “There has to be a better way than violence.”

Xena pulled her close and rested her cheek against Gabrielle’s hair. The slave’s mistaken stab at mercy had saved Xena from a stupid mistake, that was all.  There was no reason to let her think that Xena had some sort of wimpy change of heart.

And yet, she remained silent.

Gabrielle hugged her all the harder, and exhaled, warming the skin near Xena’s breastbone.

Xena returned the squeeze, as her body relaxed from its battle tension. She felt the last rays of the sun hit her on the back, warming her shoulder blades and throwing their joined shadow across the walkway to spill over the now feebly moving stockman.

He reached for his shattered wrist with his other hand, and rolled onto his side, panting hard and gazing up at her with wide, starkly terrified eyes.

Lucky boy.  Xena exhaled, and put her thoughts in order. Definitely, she had to make sure the upper chamber was well guarded, and Gabrielle well hidden when she left. Despite her stated request, the queen knew there was no way she’d be taking her along with her on the raid.

Absolutely no chance of that.

**

Continued in Part 12

Shadows of the Soul

Part 12

The moon slowly rose, peeking over the walls of the stronghold and spilling quiet silver light across shadowy figures and restlessly stamping animals.  Overhead, pennants flapped in the night breeze, the rustle of fabric sounding out over the low clink of an ironsmith working and the rumble of cattle in their pens.

In the courtyard, men stood waiting, their hands tucked into bridles as they made a last check of weapons draped over their armored bodies.  Their leathers were dark, and the horses tack blackened with soot from the fire.

The door to the stable opened, and a horse moved into the open space, it’s shoulders a good foot above the rest’s and it’s coat a silky, dark coal that reflected none of the torchlight that seemed to sink into it’s inky depths.

"All right, let's get moving." Xena settled her knees, feeling a sense of pleasure at finding herself on horseback again.  It had been a while, she suspected she'd be paying for that with a little soreness at the end of the night, but she was looking forward to the exercise nonetheless.   She was a natural rider, and her mastery showed in the subtle body shifts that moved her big stallion around in a circle with effortless ease.  “I want to get out there, get the wench, and get back before anyone knows what’s going on.”

“Mistress.” Brendan saluted, and gave a signal. The men mounted, forming up around the queen as she sat easily in their midst.

“Keep together. I want to be back here well before sunrise.” Xena said. “I’ve got a little surprise for everyone at morning court, and I don’t want to be late.” A pressure on her shoulder made her glance around. "Are you ready?" She growled at the wide green eyes peeking back at her.

Gabrielle was seated behind her on her horse, her arms wrapped securely around Xena's middle. She was looking at everything with a sense of awed wonder, but noticeably kept her eyes off the ground. "I think so."

"You think so?"

Gabrielle wriggled a little. "I've never been on a horse before." She said, a little surprised at how big they were once you were on top of them.

"Figures. Another virginity issue."  The queen remarked. "I can't believe I let you talk me into taking you. My brains must be leaking out somewhere."  Shaking her head, she took the supple reins into one hand and surveyed her small force, seeing the glints as the low light reflected off the eyes watching her.  She suspected they were wondering about the little blond kid on her tail as much as she was, but a spirit of recklessness seemed to have taken her over and it prompted nothing more than a very dry chuckle.

The armor felt good against her skin. The cool air felt even better, and somehow, that little pocket of living warmth pressed against her back just seemed to fit somehow.  It hadn’t really been Gabrielle’s doing to convince her either. “You’re gonna regret this, you know.”

“I am?”

Xena turned, grinning wickedly through the dark bangs that half obscured her eyes. “You won’t be able to put your knees together for a week.”

Gabrielle blinked at her. “Oh.”

“Mm.” The queen flicked her cloak around her knees. “On second thought, maybe you won’t regret it. Depends on how creative I get.”

The blond head cocked to one side, and Gabrielle’s brow furrowed. “How creative you get?”

Xena gave her a look. “On a count of three, blush.” She instructed her slave. “My shoulderblades are chilly.”

“Oh.” Gabrielle did, indeed, blush. She rested her cheek against the queen’s back, feeling a sense of fear and excitement over the adventure to come as well as a sensual tickle in her guts as the meaning of Xena’s words became clear to her.  She hadn’t really expected Xena to change her mind on the way down from the tower, but as she’d buckled the queen’s armor onto her, Xena had suddenly turned and held her face, studying her intently.

Then, she was going. That was all. Confusing, but Gabrielle was sure Xena had a good reason for it. “I’m sure it’ll be worth it.”

The queen chuckled, and guided her horse over to where the other members of the raiding party were waiting. “Evening, boys.” She greeted the group.

“Majesty.” Brendan eased his horse over to her, and bowed in the saddle, equally at ease as she was. “You do us a great honor.”

“By letting you come along for the ride? Yes, I do. You’re welcome.” Xena replied, with a wicked chuckle. “You get to ride on my royal coattails, and maybe if you’re lucky my little Gabrielle here will put you in her story about the whole thing.” She slapped the slave on the leg.

“Story, m’liege?” Brendan asked. “Have we got us a storyteller then?”

“We do.” Xena motioned for one of the grooms to open a small, inconspicuous door half hidden by a curve in the wall. It was just large enough to admit them mounted, if they ducked.  Xena had to duck more than most, because of her height and the stallions, but she did it gracefully, leaning her body to one side then straightening as they moved along a narrow stone corridor that ended in yet another set of thick, barred doors.

They all were silent, only the horses footfalls sounding as they filed out, the doors opened by the grooms trotting ahead of them. The night spread out before them, a softly beaten path leading down from the doors they’d just left down to the road.   Sounds were muted, the rustle and clank of habitation mixed with the restless motion of livestock as they ambled past the town and headed off into the dark countryside.

Xena waited until they’d past the market, and the outlying hamlets and the trees had swallowed them on either side. “Now you listen to me, my little muskrat.”  She turned her head and murmured to Gabrielle.

“I’m not a muskrat.” Gabrielle objected mildly, tipping her head back to look up at the stars. “Oh… look!”

“What?” Xena swiftly checked the area.

“No, up there!” Gabrielle whispered. “It’s moving!” She pointed at a streak of light.

Xena stared at it.

“Make a wish!” The slave urged her. “If you make a wish when you see one of those, it’ll come true!”

“Gabrielle.” The queen drawled in amusement.

“It will!”

Xena shook her head and chuckled. “Ten thousand slaves, and I had to pick this one.” She mock sighed.

The road was empty before them, as she’d expected. It was lined with forest as it headed down to the river valley, where it would open up a little as it crossed the ford and entered the fertile lands on the other side. Evgast’s stronghold was nestled in a fold of the next valley, the approach easily visible from it’s stone walls.  She’d have to find a way in less conspicuously, but until then she settled down and decided to just enjoy the ride.  “So.”

“Hm?” Gabrielle leaned closer.

One of the girl’s thumbs was rubbing her absently just above her navel, and Xena found it delightfully distracting. “What’d you wish for?”  She asked, letting her free hand drop down to rest on the slave’s thigh.

“I  can’t tell you.”

Xena turned her head. “Can’t?” She growled.

“It won’t come true, then.” Gabrielle explained. “You can’t tell anyone.”  She rested her cheek against the queen’s shoulder as she peered out past her. “It’s a pretty night out.”

Pretty? Xena observed the landscape. It was lit in faint starlight, the new moon barely a sliver on the horizon. “If you say so.” She said. “Now listen. When we get where we’re going, I’m gonna stick you up a tree, and you will keep your mouth shut and just wait for us to get back. Understand?”

“Okay.”

“Hm…” Xena traced the side of her knee through her leggings. “I love it when someone obeys me without question.” She drawled softly. “It’s one of the reasons I wanted to rule everything.”

Gabrielle watched the horses’ ears flick back and forth, as though he were listening to Xena too. “What are you going to do?”

Xena kept an eye on the forest to either side, the caution of a lifetime stirring instincts that she had to admit were rusty at best. It had been a very long time, she was suddenly conscious, since she’d left the security of her troops and her stronghold to walk the land virtually alone.

Was this really a good idea?

She frowned, disturbed at the thought.  Her plan had been relatively simple, in abstract. She’d lead her small group up into the hills, and sneak into Evgast’s castle. He lived in the heartland of the kingdom and there hadn’t been so much as a renegade road bandit in the area for years. She felt sure they could get inside, then find the girl and get out again.

But would it be that easy? Was she kidding herself? Was she a nutcase for coming out here and risking herself in a crazy attempt at…

At what?

No. She dismissed the thought. She was doing this because she knew she’d do it right, and….

Xena frowned again. “Why in Hades am I doing this?” She asked aloud.

Gabrielle assumed she was being addressed, and considered the question carefully. “Because you want to help out the duke, and get him on your side?” She ventured. “And it’s a really amazing thing to do.”

Hm.  Xena signaled the men forward, and pressed her knees into her stallion’s sides. The horse’s pace increased from a walk to a canter, and she felt Gabrielle grab hold of her in a sudden death grip. “I’ll go with that.” She said. “Better make sure you remember all the heroic details, hm?”

“Uhhhh…” Gabrielle was now moving faster than she’d ever gone before in her life. The wind blew her hair back, and she blinked as the cold air stung her eyeballs. “Thhh.at wwould be easier if you didn’t put mmme in a ttree.”

Xena peered at her. “You’re stuttering.”

“T…the horrrse is bbbbouncing.”

“Ahh… I can make him stop bouncing. Would you like that?”

Gabrielle nodded vigorously.

Xena chuckled, and clamped her knees down, leaning forward and letting out a soft yell. The horse bolted into an all out gallop, his pace lengthening as the trees whipped by.  “Better?” She called back to her passenger.

“Yyyeeewooooooooo!” Gabrielle wrapped her arms around Xena’s body and hung on for dear life.  She could feel the queen laughing, and felt the muscular flexing as her body moved with the horses motion. It was scary, and very uncomfortable and she felt like she was about to fall off.

And then, she figured out if she stuck to Xena like a snail and moved when she moved, it got a little better.

Just a little.

They thundered through the night, sweeping down the road towards the river.  It was dark, and the sky overhead seemed full of shooting stars.

Gabrielle decided it would either be the best adventure she’d ever had, or the worst nightmare she could ever imagine.  But if the gods listened to her, and granted her wish – then she and Xena would be okay.

And…  Her body melded a little more tightly to the queen’s. Xena was right about one thing.

It would make a really, really good story.

**

Xena crawled up onto the ridge, perversely exulting in the feel of the cold, hard ground against her knees and elbows. She slowly pulled herself up over a root at the top, peeking over and gazing down in the valley below.

The small castle was well lit by torches, and the gates were manned by no less than six stalwart looking fellows, bearing long spears with barbed points on them.  Xena noticed also the narrow slits in the stone walls, where she could just make out the faintest of glints on the crossbows mounted inside.

Slowly, her head turned and she surveyed the lands around the building, nodding a little at the strictly cleared space that allowed for no intruders to creep up unexpectedly.  Good planning, unfortunately for her.  Her eyes tracked across the ripple of starlight on the small stream that ran alongside the walls, offering more protection and taking the castle’s refuse away in a nose cringing flow.

Hm. Xena eyed the water.  She cocked her head and listened intently, hearing very far off a rich burbling sound somewhere up the slope behind the castle.  She considered the force she had with her, then backed off from the ridge and returned to where the men and Gabrielle were waiting.

“Looks to be pretty sharp on the door, Mistress.” Brendan remarked, in a low voice. “Almost like they was specting trouble.”

Yeah.  “Evgast knows he’s got a prize in there.” Xena said. “It’s not out of the question that Lastay would try to get in.”  She indicated the slope. “We need to leave the horses here. Put them into that patch of trees over there.”

Brendan looked. “Aye, Mistress? Then?”

“Then we climb.” Xena smiled at him with cheerful wickedness. “Hope you’re up to it, old man.” She patted him on the head and started towards the copse of trees with Gabrielle trailing quietly behind her.

“Xena?” The slave murmured, as they reached the trees. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Could I stop you?” The queen led her big mount inside the protected space and tied his bridle off.  She edged out of the way as the rest of the men followed her lead. “Hm?” Her fingers found Gabrielle’s chin and tipped it upward.

“Sure.”

“What?” Xena asked.

“Couldn’t you just go to the front door and ask them to give her up?”

Xena gazed down at her. One eyebrow hiked up.

“I mean, you’re the queen. They’d have to listen to you, wouldn’t they?” The slave went on.

“Hm.” Xena put her arm around Gabrielle’s shoulders and started up the ridge as the men clustered around them. “I could do that.” She admitted. “But I don’t want to.”

They moved quietly through the trees, Xena leading them on a slanting path up the hill.  Gabrielle was quiet for a few steps, then looked up again. “Why not?”

“Two reasons.” The queen answered. “First, because Evgast’s gone so far at this point, he may have told his people to kill her if anyone approaches the castle.”

“Oh.” Gabrielle murmured. “Wow. That would be bad.”

“Mm.” Xena nodded. “And two, because all the fun for me in this is outsmarting the little bastard and stealing his prize away under his bulbous nose.”

“Ah.”

“And I intend to have the most fun possible tonight.” Xena concluded.  “Especially since they think  I’m busy in my quarters indulging in hedonistic rituals their feeble imaginations could not even begin to picture.”  She ducked her head as she walked, gracefully capturing Gabrielle’s lips and exploring them without missing a step or bumping into the slightest twig.  “Understand?”

Gabrielle nodded. “I think I do, yes.”

“Good.” Xena reached the end of the easy slope and released her slave, examining the rocky outcropping ahead of her. “Okay.” She flexed her fingers. “Here’s where it gets tough. I’ll go first, everybody follow me. If you fall, keep your mouth shut. No screaming.”

Gabrielle watched as the queen unhooked her cloak and draped it neatly over a tree limb. She was dressed in her armor, but to that she’d added knitted leggings tucked into her boots and a coal colored shirt of mail that covered her arms and rendered her almost invisible in the darkness.

Xena started the climb up the rocks, picking her handholds carefully and moving with steady, cautious deliberation. After a moment’s pause, Gabrielle realized the men were waiting for her to go next, and she scrambled forward, taking hold of the stones and pulling herself after the queen as fast as she could.

It wasn’t easy at all. Gabrielle realized very quickly. Xena made it look almost effortless, but the stone edges cut into her hands and the energy  it took to pull her body up was almost more than she could handle. She heard the men start to climb up after her, though, muffling soft oaths and she felt just a little bit better about it.  It was tough for her, but at least she was light. They weren’t.

The path got steeper, and she struggled to grab a handhold Xena had used. The stone was a little slick from the night air and her grip slipped, making her fall back against the rocks with a painful thump. “Ow.” She mouthed silently, remembering Xena’s warning.

“You all right, little one?” Brendan murmured, just beneath her.

“Yes.” Gabrielle whispered, catching her breath and taking a firmer hold on the stone. She tugged her body upward, glancing up only to find a pair of icy blue eyes looking back at her. “Sorry.”

“Yes, you are.” The queen said tartly.

Gabrielle blinked at her, wincing at the sting of the words. It wasn’t as if she’d spent her life crawling around mountains after all.

“At this, anyway.” Xena reached down and grabbed the back of her tunic, hauling her up onto the next little ridge as easily as if she’d been a sack of corn. “Glad you’ve got other good points. C’mon.”

With Xena’s grip on her, climbing became a whole lot easier. Gabrielle pulled herself up past the last bit of rock and settled down on her belly next to the queen. After a few minutes, the others joined them, and they edged up to peek over the top of the ridge.

Now, they were on one side of the castle. Gabrielle could see the walls in the rear, equally as imposing as those in the front, their gray surfaces broken only by two guarded doors and a wooden stockade like thing which covered a pile of rocks near the very back.

Xena motioned Brendan forward. She pointed at the guards by the door nearest them. The old soldier nodded, then crept down the line, tapping one of the men on the shoulder and indicating he should follow.

Gabrielle watched them go, their armor blending quickly into the dark foliage as they inched their way down the slope.  It was amazing to her how silently they moved and she observed in fascination the barest hint of a shadow as they crawled along. She leaned over very close to Xena’s ear. “What are they going to do?”

Xena turned her head and regarded her. “Take the guards out.” She uttered.

“Oh.” Gabrielle watched a moment more, before the meaning of the words penetrated and a cold chill went down her back. She looked at Xena. “D…”

“Yes.” The queen enunciated the word precisely. “Close your damn eyes.”

Gabrielle held hers for a long moment. Then she turned and let her chin rest on her forearm, fastening her gaze on the guards standing unaware in the torchlight.  They were no more than stick figures at this distance, faint motions as they shifted barely visible and it was impossible to distinguish what they looked like.

Did that make watching easier? Gabrielle swallowed. They could be just regular guys, like the men Xena had brought with her. They could be someone’s brother. Or husband.  She pictured Brendan’s face. Or father.

But soon they would just be bodies. Gabrielle didn’t know any of them, but it made her sad and she wondered if this is what life just had in store for her from now on. Should she just get used to it?

Could she?  She shifted and looked at Xena’s profile. The queen was resting her weight on her elbows, watching the stronghold with quiet, alert eyes. The beauty of her strong, sculpted features was evident even in the low starlight and Gabrielle wondered again at how so much blood and death could live so easily inside the woman next to her.

Just something else she’d have to get used to, wasn’t it?  Gabrielle exhaled, briefly wishing she’d never asked to come along.  “Can I leave out this heroic detail when I tell the story?” She murmured to herself with a little shake of her head.

Xena pretended not to hear her. She gazed confidently ahead, watching the flicker of motion she knew were her men heading down to take care of business.  Once the guards were dead, she could get in that back way and this time of night be pretty much guaranteed a period of time to find her quarry.  She’d leave two of her men outside in case anyone gave the door a casual look, and it should go nice and easy for everyone.

Echoes nibbled annoyingly at her ears. Except for Evgast’s guards, that is.  She shot a glance at Gabrielle, and watched the girl’s fair lashes flicker, her profile a study in pensive dismay.

Damn it. Feeling like she had to justify her decisions really pissed her off. Xena frowned and dismissed the slave, concentrating on thinking through her plan.

Moments later though, she found herself watching Gabrielle again. The girl had turned her attention from the guards to a small beetle in front of her nose,  and she put a careful finger in front of it and watched it crawl up and over to continue on it’s way.

Now, why in Hades would anyone do something like that?  Xena wondered. “Hey.”

There was a brief but perceptible hesitation before Gabrielle looked up at her. The slave’s lips pressed into a very faint smile, then relaxed as she waited to see what Xena wanted from her.

What do I want from her? Xena mused, as she studied the gentle, innocent face. “Listen.” She put the tip of her index finger on Gabrielle’s nose. “We live in a nasty world. You can’t be nice to everyone.”

“I know.” Gabrielle said. “But…” She glanced out at the castle. “Couldn’t you just have tied them up?”

Xena sighed. “No.” She returned her attention to the guards, seeing a shadow slide towards the right of them and taking in a breath of anticipation. “For one thing, we don’t have any rope.” She observed. “And for another…”  The queen paused,  a wrinkle appearing in her brow.  “Anyway, it’s too late now.” She turned and rested her chin against her fists.  “Everyone get ready to move.”

Gabrielle wrestled with herself for a few minutes, forcing her eyes finally to fasten on the guards. She closed her hands on the ground in front of her, catching two bunches of leaves and twigs and feeling them bite into her palms.

One of the guards looked at his partner across the doorway, making a faintly seen motion with his spear. The other waved  a tiny hand in response.

She could almost imagine them sharing a joke together, just the two of them there alone in the night.

Then as she watched, unable to look away, two shadows detached themselves from the ground and swept down on the doorway. The guard nearest her started to react, then his spear dropped and he followed it, clutching his throat as he fell.

The other guard didn’t even have time to let out a yell. One moment he was standing, the next he was just a huddle of fabric on the hard, cold ground. Death had come to them in silence, and in silence the dark shadows picked up the bodies and pulled them back into the rough brush they’d come from.

“Nice.” Xena complimented them quietly.

Gabrielle looked down at her hands. Slowly, she uncurled them and let the leaves fall, feeling sick and more than a  little sad. She folded her fingers together and rested her forehead on them, breathing in the smell of the earth as she said a little prayer to Hades for the two men’s journey to his lands.

“Let’s go.” Xena got a grip on the back of Gabrielle’s tunic and lifted her to her feet, surging over the ridge and starting down the slope towards the castle.  “You don’t want to miss the fun, do you?”

Gabrielle found herself trotting down the hill after the queen, towards the torchlit doorway. She almost pulled up on seeing the two guards in place on either side of it, then she realized it was Xena’s men in the guard’s tabards.

There was no sign of the original guards as they approached.

Brendan worked the latch as they arrived, pushing the door gently open and ducking his head as Xena slipped past him into the castle.

“Good job.” The queen patted his cheek.

“Aye. Not bad for an old man, eh?” Brendan chuckled.

The door closed behind them, and Gabrielle found herself in a small, closed courtyard that was empty of anything save a set of old barrels.

“All right.” Xena murmured. “That was the easy part. Split up. You two..” She indicated two of the four remaining me. “Go to the tower stair. Make sure no one comes up this way and blocks our exit.”

“Aye, Mistress.” The two men slipped away.

“You two, find the barracks and stables.” Xena instructed.  “Gabrielle and I will find the girl. When I whistle, get your selves back here and get ready to move like Hades.”

“Mistress.” The taller of the two touched his forehead, and they melted into the darkness.

Gabrielle was left with Xena, alone in the courtyard. She felt her heart start to pound, as she suddenly realized she was going to be involved in whatever plan it was Xena had come up with.

There would be no safety of an anonymous tree to sit in. She would be going where Xena went, and risking whatever it was the queen had in mind.

It was profoundly terrifying.

What if she screwed something up? What if they got caught? What if….

“Hey.” Xena patted her on the cheek. “Stop losing your mind. We’ll be fine. There’s no one in this place that can put a touch on me. You’re safe as a baby.”

Gabrielle blinked at her, and tried to project a confidence she didn’t feel. “Okay.”

“Let’s go.” The queen put a hand on her shoulder and started to walk, placing her boots carefully as they moved down the hall. “No squeaking.”

Yeah. Gabrielle clamped her jaws together. Easy for the cat to say.

**

“Where is everyone?” Gabrielle whispered, as softly as she could. She and Xena were standing at the bottom of a long, spiral stone staircase inside the tower nearest to the back door. “It’s so quiet.”

“Mm.” The queen laid her hand against the stone and leaned towards it as though she were listening to it’s silent secrets. “Supper, probably.” She straightened, apparently satisfied. “Keep quiet. Don’t scuff your feet or I’ll….”

“Cut them off?” Gabrielle suggested, in a low murmur. “Boy, that would be messy.”

Xena patted her cheek. “That’s my girl. Keep working on that sense of humor.”  She started up the steps, placing her feet with caution as she slowly lifted her body up. She cocked her head and listened, straining her ears for the least sound above her as she lead Gabrielle along.

The tower was empty, almost too empty. The queen felt a prickle of nerves as she continued upward, mindful of the short, blond responsibility hanging just off her hip.

Was she nuts, to have brought Gabrielle?  Xena scowled, pausing in the middle of the staircase to crane her head up, and examine what she could see of the top landing. A single torch burned up there, and she could hear the light licking of the flame against the stone of the wall.

No breathing, no motion that might indicate a guard. “Hm.” Xena continued her stealthy upward motion, one hand on Gabrielle’s shoulder as she stepped around the last curve of the stairs and ended up at the upper doorway.

“Hold up.” Xena knelt and examined the ground, her fingers brushing over a dark stain before the door. She sniffed carefully, then she stood and pressed her ear against the doorway. From the other side, she could just barely detect a murmur of low voices and her heart rate picked up in response.  “Stay behind me.”

Gabrielle had no intention of staying anywhere but.  She tucked herself behind the queen’s reassuringly solid form as Xena put her hand on the latch and worked it silently. Her heart was racing so quickly it was making her dizzy, and she concentrated on taking deep breaths as the wooden door eased slightly open.

A puff of air trickled out, full of reeds and oil smoke, and the tickly scent of wool. After a moment of utter stillness, Xena inched the door further, slipping her body inside and tugging Gabrielle in after her.

You wanted adventure. Gabrielle reminded herself, as she felt the door close, sealing them into a hallway with a tall, arched roof and a number of inset doors. You got it, so now shut up and do what she says.

There was a slim, woolen carpet on the floor, and hangings on the walls that warmed the interior. Torches were tucked neatly in sconces spaced along the length of the hall, but other than that it was empty.  Gabrielle could just barely hear voices, off in the distance, and as she craned her head around Xena’s elbow she also spotted something else.

At the end of the corridor was another doorway, but this one was different. It bore iron bars, and a large, heavy lock secured the entrance that looked stout enough to withstand even a giant’s blow.

How had, Gabrielle suddenly wondered, the queen known exactly where to go?  She wanted to ask, but one look at Xena’s serious face convinced her to keep her tongue inside her mouth and her thoughts to herself. She could see, though, why there weren’t any guards. No one could get inside that room.

The iron bars didn’t seem to dismay the queen, however. Somehow, Gabrielle didn’t feel a lot of surprise over that.

Xena turned, and put her hands on Gabrielle’s shoulders, her eyes quiet, and very intent. She pressed backwards, pushing her against the wall and into a slight alcove. Then she released her, and put a fingertip on Gabrielle’s nose. “Don’t move.” She mouthed silently.

Gabrielle nodded.

Without a sound, Xena turned and walked down the hallway. As she approached the first doorway she paused, easing her head around the corner and examining the space before she moved on.  Her motions were smooth and graceful, and she seemed to radiate an alertness that Gabrielle could feel all the way back at her end of the corridor.

It had an eerie beauty to it.

She held her breath as Xena came to the next entrance, her entire body going absolutely still.  With horrified eyes, Gabrielle watched as the door opened, spilling candlelight out into the hall and a man emerged, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

He walked right past the tall, dark haired woman standing against the wall, and didn’t even see the arm that snaked around his neck and broke it.

The soft crunching sound hit Gabrielle right in the pit of her stomach.  She watched the man slump into Xena’s arms, and saw the dispassionate look in the queen’s eyes as she tucked the body into a dark corner on the other side of the door.

It was no longer beautiful. Gabrielle closed her eyes on the image of the man’s staring eyes, looking right at her before his head was turned and his life extinguished between one of her breaths and the next.

Cautiously, Xena peered inside the room. Then she turned and picked the unlucky man up, hauling his body up over her shoulder as though he were a sack of grain and dumping him inside the room. She closed the door behind him, and dusted her hands off.

Her eyes met Gabrielle’s.  Then Xena turned and continued down the hall towards the locked chamber.

It was like being caught in a nightmare. Gabrielle pressed her shoulders back against the stone, willing her body not to just turn and run as it so desperately wanted to. She didn’t want to be here. She didn’t want to see anyone else die, or watch Xena practice those dark skills she seemed so very proud of.

She tried not to think of those same hands touching her. Patting her cheek.

Gabrielle felt sick, and more than a little ashamed. She dropped her eyes to the ground and hoped it would all just end quickly, before anyone else found them.

Xena padded up to the iron gates and examined the lock. She was quite satisfied with herself so far, having guessed right about Evgast’s architecture and remembered the interior of his castle that she’d only seen once.  Her sense of hearing told her there was no one else in the tower yet, and she flicked her eyes around the hall before she concentrated on the iron clasp in her hands.

Was Gabrielle watching how clever she was? Xena glanced down to where she’d left the slave. She frowned when she took in Gabrielle’s posture, and wondered what the Hades the problem was with the kid now.

As though sensing Xena’s eyes, Gabrielle looked up, met her gaze, then looked away, unable to hold it.

But that brief moment was enough, almost more than enough, to make Xena drop the lock, turn her back on the door and return down the hall.

Forgetting her task, forgetting the captive. Intent only on the slight, pale haired figure huddled in a dark corner at the far end of the stone walls.  She reached the girl and put a hand out, touching her face in question.

Gabrielle pulled back in almost a cringe.

Xena felt…  She stared at the slave, shocked at the rush of hurt that overtook her at that slight motion. She reached out again, and watched as Gabrielle pressed back against the wall, moving away from her fingers.

Neither of them spoke. Xena looked down at her hands, then she turned and looked at the second door as she recalled her actions. She looked back at Gabrielle, who was gazing unhappily at the floor.

The queen felt her own shoulders slump. The emotions inside her was almost too much, and the danger around them increasing proportionately.  She found herself not caring about the captive, or the castle, or Evgast, though – the pain focused right on the slave before her.

She should just go get her job done. Xena wrestled with herself. She was insane to be standing here. Insane!

So she knelt, dropping to one knee in the hall, accepting her insanity as she let this need of hers take precedence over everything despite how incredibly stupid she knew it was. There, at last, she met soft, green eyes full of startlement.

Xena lifted her hand, and pointed at her chest, then she pointed at Gabrielle. She touched the side of her mouth, and made a gesture, opening and closing her fingers in a talking motion.

Gabrielle looked nervously down the hall, then back at her. Voices were getting louder, and she heard a soft clank of something hitting something else down the stairs near the end of the hall.

Xena didn’t budge, ignoring the danger.  She held her hand out, palm up, her eyes never leaving the slave’s face.

Gabrielle hesitated. She wasn’t sure what Xena was asking her, but looking down into those blue eyes, she knew she had to either answer, or run.  With a pensive exhale, she put her palm down on top of Xena’s outstretched hand.

There was so much looking up at her. So many stormy emotions.

Was she being stupid? They were in such a dangerous place, how could she question anything Xena was doing to get them out of it?

Gabrielle took a breath, unable to pull her gaze away from the queen’s. There was a connection she could feel there, with her, that defied the wrappings of her youthful morality. She couldn’t deny it.

Her heart reached out, not wanting to deny it, brushing past her sense of right and wrong to touch the restless spirit kneeling before her.

Xena stood, and briefly clasped her hand, then released it. She eyed Gabrielle for a long moment, then she deliberately lifted her arm and brushed the backs of her knuckles across the girl’s cheek.

This time, Gabrielle didn’t flinch. She gazed quietly up at the queen, still anguished, but remained still as the fingers touched her face.

Satisfied, Xena nodded, then she turned and glided back down the hallway, reaching the bound door just as four soldiers came up the stairs and rounded the wall in front of her.

They attacked without hesitation.

**

Xena was offbalance. She met the attack and managed to keep her skin intact for the first few moments, the critical ones where lives were often lost along with reputations.  She didn’t waste time being angry with herself, though she knew she’d put herself squarely into this mess by her insane need to make nice with her slave.

She deserved to get gutted for that, the queen acknowledged, as she grabbed a spear out of one of the guards hands and set to work.  Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Xena struck with rapidfire grace, slamming the man closest to her in the head, the chest, and the groin with the spear in time with her inner chanting.

Two others jumped her. She didn’t have enough space to avoid them, without falling down the steep stairs. She felt a sharp shock on the back of her head and things went dark for a moment, sounds echoing weirdly as her conciousness briefly faded out.

Her body kept fighting, though. She twisted and rolled out from under the man, getting a foot into his ribcage and heaving him off her with the strength of her legs. He grunted, the only sound any of them had issued so far, and she bounced to her feet to meet the second man’s rising head with a roundhouse right hand punch.

Her senses warned her and she grabbed the hand reaching for her from behind, twisting and yanking and sending her new adversary to the ground. He fell, but grabbed her leg as he rolled and she felt her balance pulled out from under her.

Damn. Xena kicked out as she felt the ground coming up, and heard the cry as her blow connected. A heavy body fell across her  lower body. She landed and rolled, but the man on her pinned her in place and she didn’t have the leverage to heave him off. She froze, hearing the sound of steel over her head with a shocking suddenness and knowing herself now to be in unexpectedly mortal danger.

She twisted, lifting her arm over her head instinctively to protect herself, knowing with her back against the wall she had no chance of drawing her sword. Her eyes tracked up and saw the blade descending, saw the cold, intent eyes behind it, and realized her insanity was likely going to cost her a lifetime.

Well. Xena found herself thinking, in that quiet moment before death found her, at least she’d found out how good a hug felt first.

The man’s arms swept down, the blade cutting through the air and toward her almost in slow motion. In that same slow motion, she sensed something approaching, a body moving fast and plowing into the soldier with just… enough… force…

To send the sword slamming into the man over Xena’s legs instead of her, a spray of the soldier’s blood gushing out all over both of them.

The blade stuck in a bone. Xena yanked a leg free and kicked the sword holder in the face with vicious force, hearing the crack as his jaw broke. He spun away and fell, and she got free of the man on the floor and surged to her feet.

The two remaining men lunged at her. She knew she had no time to pull her sword out, so she grabbed them both by the face, her fingers digging into their eye sockets and slammed their heads together with enough force to crack their skulls.

They dropped.

Xena froze, listening hard, but no other sounds were heard on the steps.

She straightened slowly, spotting a small, huddled figure crouched near the iron bars, gazing up at her in the torchlight.

Gabrielle.

The slave scrubbed her face with one hand, and pulled herself upright, to stand on unsteady legs. Blood was spattered over her skin, and she was shaking.

She saved my life.  Xena realized, in mild amazement.

But there was no time to think about that. Xena turned and picked up the first man, dragging him into the room she’d put her other victim into.  She repeated the process with the other three, and only then approached the iron bound door, where Gabrielle was still standing.

Time to get the Hades out of here. Xena lifted the lock again, and pulled her slim dagger from it’s sheath. She twirled it in her fingers, then inserted the point into the lock, and closed her eyes, coughing up yet another rusty skill from an increasingly distant seeming past.

**

The woman inside the room looked up as the door entered, her eyes going wide in fright and alarm. “Oh!” She was small, just a bit taller than Gabrielle, and had long, chestnut colored hair.

“Shh.” Xena put a finger to her lips. “C’mon.”  Her eyes narrowed on seeing the visible bruises on the captive’s face, and the limp she had as she got up hesitantly and approached the door.

“My queen.” The woman quavered uncertainly, her eyes darting to Gabrielle’s face as the slave peeked out from behind her armored erstwhile savior. “You are in great danger!”

“No, I’m not.” Xena yanked her forward unceremoniously. “But people will be if we don’t get out of here.” She nudged Gabrielle out in front of her and paused, listening again before she continued on. Once outside, she stopped, turning and closing the door behind her.  She picked up the lock and bent slightly to fasten it.

“Are you okay?” Gabrielle asked, softly.

The woman studied Gabrielle’s tunic, then she nodded. “As well as I might be, but if the duke’s men hear us…”

“They’ll lose their ears.” Xena finished her task and started down the hall, shoving the other two women before us. “Move it.”

“But, your majesty, does he not know you are here? I did not hear of a banquet…”

Xena paused at the far door, turning to give her a droll look. “Figures Lastay’d pick as dim a candle as he is to marry.” She laid her hand on the wood and cocked her head. “Just shut up, and follow me.”

The woman fell silent, with a hurt and puzzled look.  Gabrielle watched her for a moment, then she leaned closer to her. “She came to get you out.” She whispered, watching the woman’s eyes widen in surprise. “Really.”

“Truly?” The noblewoman whispered back.

Catching Xena’s warning glower, Gabrielle merely nodded in affirmation, almost smiling when she saw the woman look at the queen with startled yet grateful eyes.

Xena eased the door open, then just as quickly shut it when she heard boots rasping against the steps. “Ah.. into every life a little blood must fall.” She pushed Gabrielle and the lady to one side and drew her sword, flipping it over one hand and waiting, her other hand resting lightly on the door. “Shut up, don’t move.”

Gabrielle sighed, biting her lower lip and grimacing.

Xena looked at her. For a brief second, their eyes met. Xena’s then narrowed. “You know something?” She growled softly. “You’re a pain in my ass, Gabrielle.”

The slave blinked, then blinked again as the queen sheathed her sword.

The door opened, and two men entered the hallway, passing the three silent women as the continued their conversation in utter oblivion.  Xena waited for them to clear her body, then she twisted and lashed out with one booted foot, kicking both men in the back of the head in rapid succession.

With a crash, they fell to the floor senseless.

Xena snorted in amusement. “But on the other hand..” She grabbed the noble woman by the sleeve and shoved her towards the door. “That was a lot of fun.”  She turned to get Gabrielle, but the slave was already sliding past her, and to her surprise fingers tangled with her own for just an instant and squeezed them.

Xena felt the warmth encompass her hand, sending a tingle up her arm before it was gone and she was watching Gabrielle’s shoulders retreat in front of her.

With a half grin, Xena followed them into the stairwell, quickly taking the lead again as they moved downward. They reached the bottom of the steps, then her senses warned her and she grabbed her two charges, pulling them back with her against the wall behind the curve of the stairs.

The outer door burst open, and a squad of soldiers rushed inside, clattering up the steps with an air of urgency. They drew their weapons as they ran, the metal blades scraping against the stone.

Xena kept her back pressed against the wall, an arm around the other two women. She could feel the rigid stiffness of Lastay’s wife on one side, and, far more pleasant, Gabrielle’s slim form relaxing against her on the other.

Remaining silent was the key. She watched the last soldier mount the steps and willed him not to look down.

He stumbled, his hands busy trying to pull his sword from it’s hip mounted sheath.  With a curse, he paused, yanking the weapon free and glancing around in furtive embarrassment. His eyes dropped lower, into the shadows at the foot of the stairs, and he squinted in the low light.

“Hey! Moron! Move it!” A voice called from above.

With another curse, the soldier abandoned what he thought he saw, and started trotting up the steps.

Xena relaxed slightly, waiting until she heard the door open at the top of the steps, and the men’s boots hit the carpet on the other side. Then she started forward, reaching the door just as she heard the first yell of discovery from the upper floor. “Move.” She ordered, yanking the door open and herding them through it, closing it behind them and throwing the latch.

The court beyond was empty, and Xena crossed it as fast as she could, hearing faint calls and running feet off in the distance. There was no doubt in her mind that the alarm was raised, and she focused on getting out of the castle and back to the horses before the stronghold erupted into a beehive of angry activity.

At the wall, she slowed as the inner door started to open, reaching for her sword in a single smooth motion as she kicked the portal wide with the toe of one boot.

A hawk’s head appeared, and she relaxed, giving the man a nod as he jumped out of her way and cleared the entrance for them. Xena swung the door shut and sheathed her weapon, glad to see the two other guards she’d posted running towards her. “Everyone here?”

“Mistress, the alarm is raised!” The closer of the two men uttered. “I heard the guard captain running to the gates…”

“All the more reason for us to run the other way.” Xena shoved them towards the outer doors. “Move it.. move it..” She grabbed Lastay’s woman and threw her into the arms of the largest of the men. “Put her over your shoulder.”

“Majesty!” The woman gasped in protest, squealing softly as the soldier did his mistresses bidding.  Xena grabbed her jaw, now upside down, and squeezed it.

“Shut up.” The queen growled. “I didn’t come here to die.”

With a quivering lip, the woman obeyed. Xena guided Gabrielle out in front of her, and they sped to the door. It swung open wide as they reached it, Brendan’s head anxiously appearing as he heard them.

“Move. Move. Move.” Xena barked very softly. “Out, and run.”

They cleared the doors and bolted, Brendan dousing the torches that lit the exterior as he slammed the doors shut. Darkness flowed over them as they ran off the stone path into the brush, the cold air blowing over them and carrying the sounds of growing activity to their ears from behind.

But Xena knew they were home free. Evgast’s guards would be all over the castle now, searching there before they attempted to look outside. And when they tried that….

Her sensitive ears cocked, catching the sound of furious banging.  She chuckled, putting a hand on Gabrielle’s back as the slave ran just in front of her.  The darkness cloaked them totally now, only the soft rustle of their footsteps betraying their position.

They’d done it.  Xena exhaled, only aware at that moment how tense she’d been. A gentle shiver went through her body, and she felt a distinct shakiness in her knees that both annoyed and surprised her.  It hadn’t been that long, had it?

“Got the hay wagons parked right up against the barn doors, Mistress.” The tall blond soldier told her. “Won’t be comin after us sooner.”

“Good work.” The queen told him shortly.

“Easy job, with you here, Mistress.” Brendan commented. “All we did was stand and look pretty.”

Xena flashed back to that moment she looked death in the eye, and Gabrielle came by and poked it for her. “Yeah.” She snorted. “Piece of baklava.”  She eyed the slim, blond woman running at her side, a faint fog of breath visible from her slightly open lips.  “With all sorts of unexpected nuts and honey in it, too.”

Gabrielle glanced at her, hitching up a little as her foot caught on some scrub and she almost fell. “Yipe!”

Xena latched on to the back of her tunic, giving her a droll look as she pulled her upright again.

**

They made their way down the rocky slope, quite a bit faster than they’d gone up it. Brendan paused at the top and looked back the way they came, before he scrambled down to where the horses were tied up. “No torches following. Mistress.”

“Good.” Xena untied her big black stallion. “C’mere.” She pulled Gabrielle forward, then unexpectedly grabbed her around the waist and hoisted her up onto the horse. “In front. I don’t want to risk cutting your pretty little head off if I have to fight.”

Gabrielle held on to the front of the saddle, leaning forward as the queen put her hands on the saddlehorn and back and vaulted up behind her.  She felt the immediate warmth of Xena’s body pressing against her, and decided she sort of liked the change of position when the queen wrapped her arms around her and took the reins in her hands.

She was glad they were back on the horses. She was glad they were out of the castle.  Gabrielle found her mind full of so many things to think about it was hard to concentrate on any of them. Her legs ached, both from the running and the riding, and her lips were roughened by the wind that now picked up again as the they started off.

Okay. She exhaled, wincing at the jolt against her thighs as the horse broke into a trot. Lastay’s wife was being held side saddle by one of the men, and she didn’t look like it was any more comfortable though so she supposed that riding was just something you had to get used to.

Just one more thing she had to get used to.  Gabrielle slowly let out a long breath, looking down at the strong hands clasped in front of her. After a moment of stillness, she shifted her grip from the saddle to cover Xena’s fingers with her own.

“Hey.” The queens’ voice sounded, low and vibrant behind her head. “Amuse me. What are you thinking about this time?”

Gabrielle turned and peered up at her, barely able to distinguish her features in the darkness. “Am I really a pain in your ass?” She asked.

Xena rested her chin against Gabrielle’s disheveled hair. “Yeah.” She said. “But you’re cute and I’m stuck on you, so I’ll give you a break this time.”

They rode in silence for a few minutes. “I just…” Gabrielle finally spoke up. “I just don’t believe hurting people is the only way.”  She admitted softly. “Violence isn’t the answer to everything.”

The queen exhaled audibly. “That’s because you’re a young, clueless shepherd kid who doesn’t know a damn thing about life.”

Gabrielle considered the truth of that statement. “Maybe.” She said. “But I knew enough not to want you to lose yours.”   Her voice sounded sad, and her shoulders slumped. “For what that was worth.”

Xena craned her head around and peered at her little blond enigma. She kept hurting Gabrielle, and a part of her recognized the fact uneasily.  She didn’t want to, at least she didn’t think she wanted to, but she was who she was, and Xena knew enough about herself to know that wasn’t something she was willing or able to change.

Gabrielle shifted her hands back to the saddle, and straightened up, moving away from her a little.

Xena didn’t like that. She frowned, realizing that she wanted Gabrielle to like her and wanted the girl to want to be with her.  She didn’t want to drive her away, like she had everyone else.

But she was, and she knew it.  The problem was that it hurt to think that a lot more than she’d ever anticipated it would. Changing it would mean changing herself, and Xena knew for sure she didn’t want to do that, either.

The queen studied the back of Gabrielle’s head pensively. Or did she?   A cold gust of wind blew against her chest, where Gabrielle no longer warmed it and the answer to her question came to her with power she hadn’t expected.

“Gabrielle.”

The slave looked up at her again, waiting quietly.

“It was worth everything to me.” Xena tasted the honesty in her own words. “Thank you.” She released the reins with one hand and settled it onto Gabrielle’s shoulder. “I’m an old, old hound, my friend. I don’t’ think new tricks are easy for me anymore.”

Gabrielle gazed at her, gray shadows melting from her eyes once again. “Well…” She replied hesitantly. “I guess that makes me just a puppy who doesn’t know any tricks. Maybe we can kind of trade off?”

Xena felt a very unexpected smile appear on her face. “Yeah, maybe.” She agreed, with a touch of huskiness in her voice. “Maybe we can.”  Her eyes dipped down to meet the slave’s, drinking  in the warmth she now found there.

She wanted that. Xena slid her arm around Gabrielle’s waist and tightened her grip, feeling the girl nestle against her. It made her feel good.  She strongly suspected it also made Gabrielle feel good, if the unconscious grin on the girl’s face was any indication.

How far would they both be willing to go to keep this? It was a question Xena knew she didn’t have an answer for.

Yet.

They reached the road, and headed home, high spirits evident as Brendan started a bawdy road song, and the men all joined in, rough voices rising up to be whipped away by the wind as they rode.

**

Xena stared into the fireplace, watching the hypnotic flicker of the flames as they consumed a fresh stack of logs newly made inside it’s depths.  She was dressed in a warm, woolen robe having bathed and taken off her armor and she was enjoying the feel of the soft dry fabric against her skin.

Lastay’s wife was seated in one of the stiffly brocaded public chairs on the other side of her audience chamber, exhausted and grubby but grateful. “Majesty…” She spoke up suddenly.

“Yeah?” Xena shifted her attention, letting her head rest propped up on one fist.

“I owe you a great debt.”

Xena gave her a brief smile. “Nice family you’ve got.” She commented.

The woman exhaled, instinctively putting a hand up to move a bit of hair from her forehead. “M’lord Evgast is a very strong minded man, as your Majesty surely knows.”

“He’s a jackass.” Xena responded mildly. “And your husband’s a bigger one for not coming forward before he did and letting me know about it.”

The woman didn’t answer, her silence speaking volumes.

Xena crossed her ankles and wished Gabrielle would hurry up and get back.  As though in answer to her royal whim, a soft knock came at the outer door. “Come.” She fastened her eyes on the door and felt a smile twitch at her lips as it opened and a blond head appeared.

Gabrielle pushed the door all the way open and stood back, to allow Duke Lastay to enter.  He spotted his wife and bolted for her with a glad cry as she jumped up and ran to his arms. The joy in his voice was honest and unfeigned, and she had to smile on hearing it.

She closed the door and turned, to see Xena watching her. The blue eyes drew her forward, and she trudged across the room on truly aching legs to the queen’s side.  With a tired sigh, she settled onto the low stool near the regal chair and wished she could just go wash off and lie down.

Xena reached over and tugged on her ear.

Gabrielle straightened, and looked over at her.

“You look like my horse sat on you.” The queen remarked conversationally. “Go take a bath.”

“Majesty.” Lastay interrupted, drawing the queen’s attention as he crossed the room and dropped to his knees before her. “You have gifted me beyond my worth.”  He touched his forehead to the ground near her feet, his voice quavering with emotion.

Xena debated booting him in the head. Then she sighed, allowing that since she’d gone through all the trouble of ingratiating him to her, kicking him in the face would waste all that effort. “Next time, trust me.” She said. “Don’t hedge your bets.”

Lastay looked up at her. “Gabrielle told me it was you, yourself, who freed her, risking all for it.”  He said, his voice a curiously raw whisper. There was a new light in his eyes, too, that she’d never seen there before.

“That’s right.” Xena said. “You know what they say, you want it done right, do it yourself.” She added, lightly. “Got a problem with that?”

“No, majesty.” Lastay answered. “May I speak of it to others?”

“Sure.” The queen replied. “Now take your woman and get the Hades out of here. I’ve got things to attend to.”  She paused. “And be ready for court tomorrow. No smirking.”

Lastay got to his feet and bowed deeply, then backed away from her, holding his hand out for his lady. “We will be ready, my liege. That I promise you.”  He waited for her to join him, then surprisingly, he scooped her up into his arms and executed yet another bow, before he made his way to the door and slipped through it.

“Huh.” Xena felt a sense of distinct pleasure at the adulation. “Y’know, Gabrielle, I didn’t peg him for a romantic. I thought he married her for her lands and to give him reasonably good looking kids.”

Gabrielle had been leaning against the chair, and now she looked up. “He was really worried.” She told the queen. “It was such a nice feeling to be able to tell him his wife was okay. He was so excited.”

“Mm.” Xena smiled to herself.

“He really thinks you’re so amazing for doing it yourself.” The slave added, her fingers tangling with the end of the tie that held Xena’s robe closed. “He said he knew you said you’d take care of it, but he never expected you to go and..um… “

“Do it.” Xena exhaled. “Yeah… well…” She reviewed the night. “It felt good.”

“I wasn’t surprised.”

“You weren’t, huh?” Xena gave in to her impulse and began to stroke Gabrielle’s hair. “Did you tell him some wild ass story?”

“No.” Gabrielle felt the exhaustion begin to overtake her. She shifted her hand from the tie to Xena’s leg, wanting to feel the warm strength of her. “I just told him the truth.”

Xena suddenly wanted that hug. She got up, taking Gabrielle’s hand and pulling her up, too. Once the slave was standing, the queen folded her arms around her and savored the moment as Gabrielle returned the squeeze willingly.  She had taken her overtunic off, and was in her shirt and leggings and Xena could feel the warmth of her body penetrate the robe she was wearing.

She rubbed Gabrielle’s back. “C’mon, ya little muskrat.”

“M’not a muskrat.” Gabrielle kept her arms around Xena.

“Gotta argue about everything, doncha?” Xena closed the door to the inner chamber behind them, then stopped in surprise. The thick fur rug in front of the fireplace was set with crystal and china, and a platter of wonderful smelling food and a bottle of wine stood off to one side waiting.  Candles lit the room, lending a romantic touch to a chamber she ‘d thought she’d left barren and empty not that long ago. “Where in Hades did this all come from?”

Gabrielle cleared her throat gently, ducking her head slightly and blushing.

Xena looked at her.

“I… um..” Gabrielle said. “Thought maybe you’d like it.”

Xena blinked at the scene, reviewing her treatment of her young companion over the course of the night and realizing all she probably deserved was a lump of coal and a cup of midden water. “Woof.” She muttered under her breath, turning and lacing her fingers behind Gabrielle’s neck. “Know what?”

“What?” Gabrielle murmured.

“I do like it.” Xena tilted her head and gave Gabrielle a heartfelt kiss. “But I think it’s you who really deserves it. C’mon.” She drew the slave close, and guided her towards the bathing room. “First, let’s get you into something more comfortable.”

If she’d really been a puppy, Gabrielle mused, her tail would have really been wiggling, even as tired as she was.

Tired as she was, she wanted the comfort of Xena’s embrace. Blood or no blood, she wanted the touch of the queen’s hands on her, and the feel of her breath against her skin, and the closeness that was her only anchor in a very scary world.

Xena kissed the top of her head in simple affection.

Wiggle.

**

Gabrielle opened her eyes, gazing sleepily across the big room to the pink tinted windows. She was curled up under the soft, fluffy comforter, snuggled up against Xena’s body with her head resting on the queen’s shoulder.

It felt…  Gabrielle felt the pressure of Xena’s arm, which was draped lightly over her shoulders. It felt different than anything else she’d ever known, that’s for sure. She could, for just a moment, put out of her head the fact that Xena was who she was and simply revel in the feeling of acceptance she got waking up in the queen’s embrace.

It was worth the down side. Gabrielle rubbed the side of her thumb absently across Xena’s bare skin, just above her navel.  She was convinced that the queen really did like her… in fact, she felt in her heart that Xena loved her, in her own way just as she knew she really did love Xena.

Xena cared about what she thought. Gabrielle remembered the moment in the castle the night before when the queen had turned her back on her mission just to come over and reassure her.  Her own parents had never cared about what she thought. No one she’d ever known had cared about what she thought.

But Xena cared.

She mattered to Xena. That was why, even though some of the things the queen did horrified her, Gabrielle wanted to stay with her, be with her… to be able to wake up like this and know that she was an important part of someone else’s life.

It was really sort of selfish, she acknowledged.  But it was also true.

The pink light in the window increased, and Gabrielle sighed, knowing her snuggling would be coming to an end shortly as the day began.  She hoped the day would be a good one.

She felt Xena start to wake up, the queen’s body stirring and taking on a tension as her heartbeat picked up under Gabrielle’s ear.  She found herself looking forward to Xena’s voice, despite it’s often caustic edge and seeing her pretty blue eyes as soon as they opened.

“Mm.” Xena rumbled softly. “Hey there, muskrat.”

Muskrat. Gabrielle sighed inwardly. “Xena?”

“Yeeees?” The queen scratched her back with the tips of her fingers, tracing a path down Gabrielle’s spine with her thumb.

“What is a muskrat?”

Xena chuckled softly.

“I mean – I’ve been called silly stuff before, like chipmunk, but at least I know what that is.” Gabrielle went on. “So, what is a muskrat, and why do I remind you of one?”

“Chipmunk?” Xena queried, cocking her head to study Gabrielle’s disheveled, yet adorable features.

The girl nodded, one hand lifting up to touch her own cheek. “When I was little…”

“You were littler?” Xena teased, with a smile.

“Okay, when I was younger, I had really chubby cheeks.” Gabrielle explained. “So they called me chipmunk.. squirrel…you know.” She paused. “Or do you know?”

“Ahh.”  Xena stroked her face with surprisingly gentle fingers. “You don’t look like a muskrat. I just like the sound of it.”  She told the slave. “But they’re sorta cute. Kind of like big rats with pretty fur.”  She added. “And I was called a lot of things in my younger years, but none of them are anything you’d wanna hear about.”

“Oh.” Gabrielle replied, in a soft voice. “Guess it was worse than chipmunk, huh?”

“Uh huh.”  Xena pulled her closer, taking a deep breath as their bodies pressed against each other. “Bitch, whore… beast…  scum.”  She recited. “I think I remember being called a neutered whorebitch once… that was pretty special.”

“Uh.”

Xena smiled briefly, gazing out over Gabrielle’s head. “Well, I’d just drawn and quartered the guy’s father. Can’t blame him, really.”  She said. “It was my thirteenth birthday, and I’d just started cycling. Lousy day all around.”

Gabrielle lifted her head and just stared, goggle eyed at her bedmate.

Xena shrugged.

“I think the most exciting thing that happened to me before the slavers came…” Gabrielle said. “Was our creek flooding and dumping six sheep and the chicken coop inside our bedroom.”

“Mm.” The queen chuckled. “Breakfast in bed the hard way.”

It struck Gabrielle as funny, and she started laughing.

Xena blinked, as the light, joyful sound filled the room. She decided she liked it, and she hugged Gabrielle a little, smiling as the girl hugged her back.  “All right. Enough jokes before breakfast.”  She released her hold, and Gabrielle eased away from her, straightening out.

“Yow!” Gabrielle released a surprised yelp as she stretched her legs. They felt like two twisted breadsticks, and as she moved them, a jolt of pain went right up into her groin. “Great Hera!”

Xena rolled over, putting a concerned hand on her shoulder. “What is it? I didn’t bite you that hard last night, did I?”

“Buf… no.” Gabrielle grimaced, reaching for her thighs. “Ow.”

“Ah.” Xena  sat up, the silk sheets falling away from her naked body as she twisted around and slid her hand on the underside of Gabrielle’s leg. “My pony virgin. That’s right.”  She could feel the knots under her hands already. “Lay back down.”

Gabrielle stopped trying to sit up, and relaxed back onto her elbows as Xena’s hands slid up her thighs. The morning light poured in the window and bathed her naked form, almost making Gabrielle forget completely about the ache in her legs as she absorbed the sight.

The long, powerful fingers worked at the muscles in her legs, easing the knots and sending little jolts of a completely different sensation through her as the queen’s hands worked up from her knees. The ache eased, though whether it was what Xena was doing, or just the fact that she was doing it causing that she wasn’t at all sure.

Gabrielle was suddenly conscious of the studious concern scrawled across Xena’s features, her brow tensing as she worked, relieving what surely the queen must view as a silly complaint with the same quiet skill as she’d used in caring for Gabrielle’s injuries after her near capture.

“Xena?”

The pale blue eyes glanced up at her.

“Thanks.”

Xena’s hands kept up their kneading as she regarded Gabrielle, her dark head cocked slightly to one side. “For what?”

The girl’s eyes dropped. “That.” She indicated the queen’s fingers. “I know you think it’s kind of…wimpy… don’t you?”

Xena looked down, her face a study in mild puzzlement. “Wimpy?” She eased Gabrielle’s right leg straight, and went to work on the left one. “Gabrielle, not being able to walk because you can’t put your knees together isn’t wimpy.” She chuckled. “I remember my first experience with riding horses… I got stuck on one riding from sunup to sundown, without a break. I couldn’t walk for two days after that.”

Gabrielle wiggled the toes on her right foot, the cramps feeling a lot better now. “Oh.”

“Didn’t have anyone to do this.” Xena went on, in a quieter tone.

Gabrielle looked at her. “You do now.”

Xena’s eyes lifted, and met hers. A grin tugged at the corners of her lips. “Hm.” She mused. “That’d almost be worth learning to ride all over again.” She leaned over and kissed Gabrielle on the inside of her thigh, listening for, and hearing the soft intake of Gabrielle’s breath. “You know something, Gabrielle?”

Gabrielle took in an uneven breath. “What?”

Xena put her hands on either side of Gabrielle’s hips and leaned forward, peering down at her like a large and hungry, if appealingly naked cat. “You are the first person I’ve ever known who I’ve even had the slightest desire to do that to.” She ducked her head and kissed Gabrielle on the navel. “Must be love.”

Gabrielle looked up at her, trying to catch her breath as her body caught on fire. All she could see was someone she felt so strongly for it overshadowed all her knowledge of what Xena was. “Must be.” She whispered, reaching up to run her fingers through Xena’s hair.

Must be.

Their lips met, and Gabrielle realized that, at the very least, she wasn’t going to have to worry about walking yet for a while.

Which was just fine by her.

**

Continued in Part 13

Shadows of the Soul

Part 13

Xena strolled along the walkway, enjoying the sun on her face and the cool wind at her back.  She glanced sideways at her companion, smiling a little at the interested expression on Gabrielle’s face. “How’s the legs?”

The misty green eyes glanced down, then over at her. “Oh, they’re okay.” Gabrielle said.  “Um.. where are we going?”

“Down the walk.” Xena told her. “Gotta get to court, and I figured this was easier than jumping out of the window.”

“Um… okay, I’ve just never gone this way before so I was wondering…” Gabrielle ran her fingers over the mossy walls.

“Ahhh….. ever curious.” The queen steered her down a new path, where the walls on either side of them rose up, and a wrought iron arch appeared midway between the two ends. Xena stopped before the gate and worked the latch, shoving it open with a screech of protest and gesturing inside. “G’wan.”

Gabrielle peered up at her, then she ducked through the gates.  She paused in mid step, looking around in stunned delight as she found herself in a rich, beautiful garden. “Oh!”  She breathed, her eyes going wide. There were flowers in every color imaginable, and sweet smelling herbs, and trees heavy with fruit draped over the wide beds.  “Oh, my gosh!”

Xena leaned against the wall, watching her with a faint smile. They were due in morning court, just slightly past due in fact, but she’d remembered this spot as they were walking and decided to take her charming little bedmate to see it.

The garden was, she supposed, a nice place. It was where the cooks grew all the herbs they used, and fruit and vegetables for the royal kitchen. Walls surrounded it, and water from the well supplied it’s rich, dark earth with moisture and even when the surrounding lands grew barren in winter this little patch of earth stayed fertile.  The air was full of the scent of growing things, and it was peaceful in a way that few places in her kingdom were.

Gabrielle captured a handful of blossoms and brought her face close to them, drinking in the scent and cooing.  Then she selected one, and carefully plucked it, walking back over to Xena and offering it to her shyly.

The queen accepted the bloom, sniffing it, then twirling it in her fingers. “What’s this for?”

“Just because.” Gabrielle turned and took a deep breath of the fragrant air. “This place is gorgeous.” She wandered over to a tree dripping with apricots and touched one, then turned and looked at Xena.

“Go on.” Xena twirled her flower as she watched the fruit get picked, knowing a portion of that juicy looking item would be shortly finding it’s way to her. That was just how Gabrielle was, she’d discovered. The slave loved to share.  Convenient, since Xena most assuredly didn’t.  “C’mon. Let’s get to court. We can come back here later if you want to.”

“If I want to?” Gabrielle laughed. “I’d love to live here. It’s incredible.” She split the apricot into two halves and offered one to Xena. “Do you spend a lot of time here?”

The queen snorted, holding the gate open. “No. It bores me to death, but I knew you’d like it.”  She nibbled on the fragrant fruit as she followed Gabrielle back into the hallway, resting her forearm on the slave’s shoulder as they walked along. “Tell you what… after we settle my heir presumptive, we’ll go on a tour of the rest of this place. It’s about time I did an inspection.”

“Okay.” Gabrielle bit into the apricot, which was juicy and very sweet. “I’d like to see all the nooks and crannies.. I bet there’s some stories around this place.”  She added. “Could we have a picnic lunch in the garden?”

“Sure.” Xena replied without really thinking first. Then she realized what she’d said, and scowled. Her, do a picnic in the garden?

“Wow… that would be great.” Gabrielle said. “Do you think the nobles will be upset about Lastay? A lot of them seemed to like him, from what I could hear their servants saying the other night.”

Picnic. Xena exhaled. “I don’t think they’re expecting it.” She said. “It takes the wind out of the sails of the bastards who want me out the worst, too. One of their biggest agitating points is that I don’t have an heir.”  She explained, as they entered the main part of the castle.  “So I’ll give em one… and it ain’t what they expect.”

Gabrielle thought about the queen’s words as she followed her towards the big staircase that lead to her formal audience chamber. Instead of her black tunic, today she was wearing a warm, woolen overshirt of Xena’s, with a tooled leather belt fastened around her waist to make the shirt more of a neatly draped knee length dress. It felt good, and it smelled like Xena, and she found herself touching the knit and grinning as she walked.

Things were really looking up.  When she’d walked through the upper hallway while Xena dressed in her beautiful gown, she’d heard two of the servants talking, in excited whispers about Lastay’s wife’s rescue.  She heard Xena’s named mentioned, and for the first time since she’d been in the stronghold, it wasn’t spoken as though it were a curse.  She’d told Xena that, and though the queen had merely snorted in amusement, she thought that Xena thought it was pretty cool anyway.

And now, she’d seen the prettiest garden imaginable. She finished her apricot and licked a bit of the juice off her fingers, already looking forward to the picnic and spending a few quiet moments with the queen under the shade of those trees.

**

The room was already buzzing when they entered. Xena swept across the floor and the crowd parted as usual, but she could detect just a touch of extra reverence in the bows, and her ego smirked with pleasure. She glided up the steps to her throne and turned, allowing the folds of her gown to swirl around her as she seated herself precisely in the center of the chair.

Slowly, she turned her head to regard the crowd, letting her eyes rest at last on Gabrielle’s slight figure with the rest of the servants near the back wall.  Xena put two fingers into her mouth and let out a piercing whistle, grinning when her slave’s head jerked around and the mist green eyes focused on her.  The queen lifted a hand and curled her index finger in a come hither gesture.

Gabrielle came, easing her way diffidently through the crowd of nobles, oblivious of the eyes on her.  She trotted up the steps to Xena’s side and rested a hand on her chair arm, tilting her head in inquiry. “You wanted me?”

Xena grinned at her. “Constantly.” She purred. “Get your lily pad and siddown, muskrat.”

Gabrielle smothered an embarrassed smile of her own, and retrieved her low stool, setting it down next to the queen’s throne and easing her self down onto it. Her legs definitely ached, but Xena’s massage had done wonders and if she stretched her boots out a little and crossed her ankles, she was pretty much okay.

Xena’s fingers played with her slaves’ hair as the queen studied her audience, signaling the steward to open court.  The touch relaxed Gabrielle, and she watched with deep interest as the steward pounded the floor with his long staff.

“Here ye, listen all.” The man intoned. “Her majesty, Xena the Merciless, has called you all here for a momentous announcement.”  He half turned and glanced at Xena, who flicked the fingers of her free hand at him.  “Her majesty will speak.”

All eyes shifted to Xena.   An expectant silence grew as she straightened in her chair, and let her gaze linger on all of them. “I have decided.” She intoned, “After much deliberation…”

Gabrielle watched the different cliques of nobles stand together. She spotted Lastay near one side of the room, waiting quietly. On the other side of the room stood some of the men she knew had backed Bregos, and they were eyeing the queen with wary alertness.

“To name an heir.” Xena concluded slowly, drawing out the words.

Definite shock went across the room. Gabrielle could see it was the last thing they had expected to hear her say, and she could also see that it didn’t make all of them happy.

“An heir, majesty?”  The oldest of her dukes questioned, hesitantly.  “Surely you have no need to name one, as lovely as you are?”

Xena gave him a tolerant, yet severe look. “Ah, Jeran, the fact is I’m so incredibly beautiful, no man could ever measure up to me. So.. what can I do?”

A low murmur spread through out the room.  Xena waited to see if anyone else had anything intelligent to say, then figured she’d have gray hair before then and went on. “I would like you all to attend a high court tonight, where I intend on officially naming my heir and successor.  You can bring presents.”

The dukes all started looking at each other.  “Tis one of us, Majesty?” Jeren asked, in a querulous voice.

“One of you? Of course not. It’s my little Gabrielle here.” Xena replied. “She likes fruit, and pretty clothes. Make sure you bring lots.”

Dead silence, along with a goggling of Gabrielle’s eyes in her direction.

“Morons. Yes, one of you.” The queen snorted. “You think I’d subject her to you lot? Not in this lifetime or any other.”  She laid a hand over Gabrielle’s shoulders. “So you’ve got the day to get used to the idea. You’ve wanted me to give you a future, well, careful what you ask for.”

Her news had definitely caused a stir. Xena leaned back, pleased with herself.  Bregos’ toadies were definitely caught off balance.

However.

“Majesty.” Evgast approached ponderously. “I would bring a horrible happenstance to your notice, not to belittle your excellent, and most welcome announcement.”

“Really?” Xena crossed her ankles. “Do tell?”

“Majesty, my castle was attacked last night.” Evgast stated. “By a legion.”

Xena glanced down her long length, then she turned and regarded Gabrielle. A chuckle escaped her. “A what?”

“A legion of men, Majesty. They invaded my home, and killed my men. I demand justice.”

The queen rested her chin on her fist, eyeing him in silence. She let the silence grow and take over the room, aware of the intense interest, especially from Evgast’s supporters.  “You demand justice?” She kept her voice quizzical.  “Evgast, are you a nitwit, or did just tighten your cummerbund too tight this morning?”

“Majesty!” The noble was visibly affronted.

“That wasn’t a legion, you moron.”  Xena got up and prowled over to him. “It was me.” She indicated her chest with her thumb.  Then she paused, and glanced back over her shoulder. “And my little friend, there.”

Evgast just stared at her.

“You want justice? I’ll give you justice.” Xena unsheathed her dagger and grabbed him by the throat.  “You stinking little traitor.”

“No! Majesty!” The duke grabbed her hand and held it desperately. “You wrong me! It was I who was attacked, remember?”

Xena flicked a glance at the rest of the nobles. Evgasts supporters were pissed. She grinned at them. “You kidnapped a duchess.” She said quietly. “And held her to ransom the support of her duke. I took exception to that.”

Evgast stared at her, then turned his head and glared at Lastay.

Lastay smiled pleasantly at him.

“Didn’t realize she was gone?” Xena inquired. “I made sure to lock the door after myself.”

The duke’s eyes narrowed. “She wasn’t a prisoner. She was under my protection, majesty. Voluntarily. Running from him!” Evgast pointed at Lastay. “He used her infamously!”

“Really?” Xena’s tone was light. “How do you use someone infamously, Evgast?” Her hand moved in a flickering motion, cutting through his ornate tunic to rip into his flesh. “Like that?”

“AuuuggghHH!!!!” The man screamed.

“Wimp.” Xena reversed the hilt in her hand and slugged him. “It was only flesh wound.” She released him, and watched him slump to the ground. “Guards, take him to the cells.”  She ordered. “I’ll sentence him tonight.” Her eyes lifted and regarded the stunned crowd. “It’ll be fun all round, eh?”

She twirled the dagger, and reseated it into it’s hidden sheath, then turned and went back to her throne, seating herself and looking over them all. She felt a sense of restless energy she’d been missing for a while, and she itched to take back the control her dukes had been nibbling away at and restore her kingdom to the way she’d originally fashioned it.

Gabrielle shifted a little, and looked up at her.

Well, with a slight difference.  “Yeeess?”

“Did anyone ever tell you you’re really funny?” The slave asked.

“No.”  Xena replied with a dignified sniff. “I killed the last person who even suggested it.”

They looked at each other. “You’re really funny.” Gabrielle said, with a slightly impish quirk of her lips.

“Mm. A saucy slave. My favorite kind.” Xena returned the grin, then addressed the still stirring, waiting crowd. “That is all. Court’s over.”   She turned to the steward, who was still standing quietly by. “Tell the staff I’m going on inspection. Anyone wants to run screaming, now’s the time.” She stood. “C’mon, Gabrielle. Let’s go find trouble.”

“Find it?” The slave murmured, as she trotted after the tall queen. “I think we are it.”

Xena just laughed.

**

“Mistress, we’ve had a few men round asking.” Brendan rumbled softly as he followed her around the barracks. “Seeing as how Bregos men all took off, we could use a few new recruits.”

“Mm.” Xena observed the now spotless quarters, giving them a regally satisfied nod. “If they’re asking for the right reason and not because they’re damned spies.”

“Too dumb for spies, Majesty.” The soldier replied. “Might be good for pikemen, though.”

“All right.” Xena nodded. “Tell you what, let’s plan on a training melee tomorrow just to drive the point home that I don’t want any more divided loyalties.”

“Aye, Mistress.”

Xena came to the edge of the courtyard and paused, gazing over the neatly lined up supply carts and the practice pells tucked against the walls. She put a hand on the stone and felt it’s warmth , jealously garnered from the sun and held through the coolness of the night.

She could remember, long ago, curling up next to the stones of a small village well to still her chattering teeth and hoping some villager had dropped a bit of bread she could chew on.

Now she looked back on the stronghold before her, solid in the bright light, and richly prosperous and she nodded seriously to herself.

Mine.

“Any word on Bregos?” She turned her head and regarded Brendan.

The soldier looked thoughtful. “No, but a merchant came in this morning, and was telling some wild tale about men as forced him off the road and took his goods. Not sure if he wasn’t just having us on though.”

Xena considered the news. “Find him.” She decided. “Bring him in to me.”

“Mistress.” Brendan touched his chest, and backed off, turning and heading for the gates that lead down to the town.

That left the queen alone. She leaned against the wall and simply enjoyed the view for a few minutes, going over the results of her inspection.  It hadn’t been nearly as bad as she’d feared. Her visit to the kitchens had shaken everyone up, and she’d guessed that a lot of scrubbing had been done in the intervening days.

She’d found a lot of things, little stuff, that had slipped though and now as she stood quietly by herself in one corner of her domain, she had to consider just how much of that was her fault.  Had she retreated up to her quarters just a little too much?

“It’s good to see your Majesty out and about.”

Jellaus’ voice surprised her, and she turned to see the minstrel standing nearby, his harp in it’s leather case slung over his shoulder.

Xena regarded him from half lidded eyes, before she nodded slightly. “Thought I’d prowl around and give everyone fits. Haven’t done that in a while.”

The musician smiled and leaned against the wall next to her. “The castle air has cleared itself these last days, Majesty. It is a good thing.”  He said. “And I hear all kinds of wild tales today about the raid on Evgast’s homestead last night.”

The queen grinned.  “Jackass.” She chuckled. “Haven’t had such a good time in a while, I’ll say that. It was a good run.”  She eyed the musician. “I’m gonna have Gabrielle tell everyone about it tonight.”

“Ah.” Jellaus smiled. “Your little golden flower.”  He said. “She is gentle and charming… a truly sweet soul, one such as I’ve seldom seen.”

Xena smiled back at him. “She’s a good one.” The queen admitted quietly. “Sometimes the Fates toss you a bone and you don’t even realize it until you’ve chewed on it a little.”  She gazed off into the distance, a gentle twinkle in her eyes.

Jellaus watched her in silence for a moment, then he shifted off the wall. “Ah. So the hawk is well and truly captivated by the little mouse, eh?”  He teased her just a little.

Xena paused, then merely nodded slightly.  She gave the musician a slap on the back and moved off, heading across the stockyards at a relaxed stroll, sucking in a breath of the earthy scents with a soft, reflective chuckle.

Jellaus watched her go, then turned as Brendan appeared at the gate next to him. “Ah, old friend. Things are changing again, eh?”

“Bout time.” The old soldier grunted. “Took a half revolution to get her Maj’s attention, but she’s not forgotten how to kick some ass, I’ll tell you.” He chuckled. “Felt good, it did. She’s back to herself again.”

The minstrel gazed at the retreating figure. “Perhaps, Brennie, perhaps, but I’m thinking she’s not so much back to herself, as finding new interests in living these days.” He chuckled wryly. “Luck of the Fates, it was for sure.”

“Ah.” Brendan grunted. “The little one, you mean?”

Jellaus nodded.

“Got spunk that one.” The soldier said. “Never figured a bit of a lass like that would catch her Maj’s eye.”

“More than caught it, my friend.” Jellaus strolled after the queen. “More than caught.”

**

“Picnic.” Xena said to herself, as she finished her inspection of the armory and rounded the corner to the hallway that lead to the garden. “Xena the Merciless, slaughterer of thousands, is gonna do a picnic.”  She reached the wrought iron gates and paused, putting her hands around the thick bars and gazing through them.

The sun was high overhead now, and it was pouring down inside the garden, sending golden rays through the trees and bringing out the colors in the flowers and fruit.  Xena took a deep breath, noting the presence of something roasted and spicy inside that she suspected hadn’t grown on the bushes.

She also could hear, just faintly, someone humming.

“What the heck do you do at a picnic?” The queen asked herself, as she pushed the gates open and strode inside as though she owned the place.

Which, of course, she did.  She prowled around the rich beds, slowly stalking her prey, which was rustling in the very center of the garden just ahead of her.  Sneaking up to the bushes, she carefully parted a few of the fragrant branches and peered through them.

Gabrielle was in the center, kneeling on a square of rich fabric spread out on the soft grass. Laid out on the fabric were plates, and a tray filled with goodies.

Xena licked her lips, appreciating the selection, and even more so appreciating the sunlight pouring through the thin fabric Gabrielle was wearing and outlining her slim body.

The slave was apparently unaware of her presence, and she hummed softly to herself as she arranged freshly picked fruit on the platter in front of her.   She looked up when she was done, gazing around her and releasing a frank, joyous grin that lit  up her face and eyes.

Xena exhaled, and let the branches close, stepping around the bush and peeking at Gabrielle with a grin of her own. “Well, well, well… what do we have here?”

Gabrielle grinned all the more broadly on seeing her. “A picnic.”  She said. “You like picnics, right?”

The queen strolled over and let herself down onto the fabric, stretching out on her side and propping her head up on one hand. “I haven’t the slightest idea.” She told her slave frankly. “Never been to one before.”

“Really?”

“Really.” Xena said. “I’ve eaten on the ground, on my horse, on the tops of mountains, in the water, and up a tree, though.”

“Really?” Gabrielle’s nose wrinkled. “That doesn’t sound like a lot of fun.”

“It wasn’t.” Xena reached out and captured a berry, liberating it from it’s stem and popping it into her mouth. “This is  much nicer.” She admitted. “What’s that?”

Gabrielle was bringing out a fluffy, silken pillow. She put it down and patted it’s surface. “Well, it’s for you.”

Xena examined it. “Damn well should be.. it’s my pillow.”  She squirmed over to it and rolled onto her back, putting her head down and stretching her body out luxuriously. Above her, apple trees arched, shading them from the sun and bathing her in the sweet scent of their fruit. “Mm…nice.”

Gabrielle settled down next to her. “I thought so.”

A dark eyebrow cocked at her. “Now what?”

“Well.” Gabrielle picked up a bunch of grapes and selected one, inspecting it before she offered it to her queen. “I’m your body servant, so… I’m going to serve you.”

“Oh, really?” Xena’s blue eyes twinkled.

“Really.”

Her days were just being filled with new experiences, weren’t they? Xena considered the situation, feeling herself in a very vulnerable position lying there basically at Gabrielle’s mercy. However, she’d given the slave true advantage over her in a very uncertain time and she’d proven herself over and over again, so…

“All right.”  Xena folded her hands over her stomach and crossed her legs at the ankle. “Serve me.”  She closed her eyes and waited, confident that Gabrielle would not try something sneaky like putting a carrot in her mouth.

A blue eye opened and regarded the slave. Would she?

Gabrielle surveyed the platter, and selected a piece of cold duck, dipping it into a dark, spicy sauce before she held it near the queen’s lips. They parted, and her very white teeth closed over the offering, as Xena watched her lazily from one eye.

It was sort of like feeding a wildcat. Gabrielle waited as Xena chewed her duck, hoping it met with the queen’s approval.

A pink tongue appeared, and a grin. “More.”

Gabrielle smiled in relief, and returned to the platter.

“Ah ah.” Xena captured her hand. “No fingers.”

The slave blinked at her, slightly confused. “No fingers?”

“Noooo.” The queen purred, baring her teeth and snapping them.

Gabrielle looked at her, then at the tray. She licked her lips. “You want me to…”

“Uh huuuuhhhh..”

“This is going to be really messy.”

“No problem.” Xena grinned sexily. “That’s what your tongue is for.” She paused. “Well, that’s what *else* your tongue is for.”  She studied the resultant extreme coloration. “Oh, that reminds me.. got any cherries?”

Gabrielle sighed, and rubbed her face. “Yes.”   She reached across to a pile of the red fruits.

“No you don’t.”

The slave paused with a handful of them. “Um.. yes I do.”

“Not anymore.” Xena snickered quietly. “C’mere… gimme one of those, and I’ll teach you a trick.”

Gabrielle, puzzled but willing put one of the cherries between her teeth and leaned over, biting down lightly on it as Xena’s lips met hers and the queen nipped off her half of the fruit. Then the touch turned into a kiss and she had no urge to move back as Xena’s hand cupped the back of her neck and their tongues explored each other.

“Mm.” Gabrielle whispered. “That’s a great trick.”

“Ain’t it.” Xena nibbled her lip. “I think I could get used to picnics, at this rate.”  She turned her head slightly and expelled the cherry pit, cleaned of all flesh, into the bushes. Then she returned to Gabrielle. “Next?”

Gabrielle produced a slice of peach. “This could take a while.”

The queen grinned, as she shared the fruit. “Good.”

Picnics.  Her free hand slid up Gabrielle’s thigh.  She’d changed her mind about picnics.  A grape found it’s way into her mouth, Gabrielle’s lips nipping hers as they shared.

Yeah.

**

Gabrielle gazed quietly at a honeybee, busy selecting just the right flower to land on and totally oblivious to it’s intent watcher.  The cool air ruffled the grass, and as she sat there, she reflected that she’d seldom if ever experienced a more peaceful moment than she was now.

Xena had propped her pillow up on Gabrielle’s leg and was relaxing in the dappled sunlight, her eyes closed, and one hand laid over the slave’s arm lying across her stomach.

It felt very nice. Xena’s thumb was rubbing lazily over the skin of her forearm and she was in just the right position to look down on the queen’s face and admire it.

Boy, there was a lot to admire. Gabrielle dreamily watched a leafy shadow drift over the bridge of the queen’s pretty nose and leave dappled splashes over her closed eyelids.   The symmetry of her face was very apparent from this angle, and she found herself marveling and how beautiful her queen was.

Her queen.  A bit of a crease appeared in Gabrielle’s brow.  She’d blithely told Xena that she was ‘hers’ – true – but in her heart she knew she’d just admitted to herself just how true that was in reverse.

“Gggggaaabbbrrielleee.” Xena purred. One of her eyes opened and peeked up at the slave.

“Yes?” Gabrielle smiled at her. “What are my queen’s wishes?”

“Hmmmm….” A soft chuckle emerged from the queen’s throat. “I wish you were naked and covered in honey.” The blue eyes widened in mock hopeful innocence. “Do I get my wish?”

“Um.” Gabrielle glanced down at herself. “Boy, that would take a lot of honey.”

Xena laughed. “Yeah, it sure would… and you’d end up with sticks and pebbles all over you. But it’s a fun idea.”  She looked up at Gabrielle. “Maybe some other time.”

Very gently, Gabrielle laid her hand across Xena’s cheek. “Okay.”

One of Xena’s eyebrows crept upwards. “Can I ask what you’re thinking about right now?”

Gabrielle nodded. “I’m thinking about how incredibly beautiful you are.” She said. “And what pretty eyebrows you have, and how amazing your eyes look and..”

Xena grinned. “Keep going.” She encouraged her. “I’m loving every minute of this.”

The slave’s nose crinkled up in a truly amazing grin.

“Ah, Gabrielle.” Xena closed her hand around the slave’s and held it. “You know something?”  She searched her slave’s face intently, seeing the lingering traces of the smile around her eyes.  “I really like you.”

Gabrielle cocked her head to one side in gentle question. “Like me?”

The queen nodded slowly. “I like you.” She said. “I like having you around me besides the fact that you’re cute and  you’re not bad in bed.”

The slave seemed very thoughtful for a long moment. “That’s not the same as loving, is it?”

“Nu uh.” Xena shook her head. “Not the same thing at all.”  She examined Gabrielle’s hand, rubbing her thumb over the girl’s knuckles. “Do you know how long it’s been since I had someone I liked around me?”

Gabrielle shook her head, then hesitated. “Was it your brother?”

“And you’re smart, too.” Xena chuckled softly. “Yeah.”  Her face took on a pensive cast.  “He was the only one I could really talk too.” A pause. “Gods, I miss him.”

After a slight hesitation, Gabrielle  touched Xena’s face again, wordlessly giving her sympathy.  “I think…” She reflected in silence for a bit. “I think you were a lot closer to your brother than I was to Lila.”  The slave admitted in a low voice. “I grew out of being able to talk to her.”

Xena watched her  intently. “Did you two fight a lot?” She asked. “Ly and I did.. scrapping and all that.”

“No.” Gabrielle shook her head once. “Lila was bigger than I was.. even though she was younger.” She answered. “Besides, we got in trouble when we fought.”

“Ah.”  The queen murmured. “Points for not having parents, I guess.”

The green eyes warmed briefly as Gabrielle looked up at her. “Yeah. I guess.”

Xena could almost taste the secret now, it was shining dimly through the reflected sadness in Gabrielle’s eyes.   “Did you get on with yours?” She asked. “I think I probably drove my mother crazy… I was just that kinda kid.”

Gabrielle eased back, then she unexpectedly got up and fussed with the picnic supplies, her back to Xena. “Well..”  Her voice sounded hesitant. “They were okay, I guess. My mother was pretty strict. You know.”

“Not really.” Xena put her hands behind her head and proceeded carefully, testing the air like she was fencing with a very skilled opponent. “What I remember of my mother… isn’t much.” She admitted. “Smells, mostly. Cooking. The ash from the fire. Spices.”  The queen said. “She had a.. kind of musical voice. A little like yours, only lower.”

“Mm.” Gabrielle murmured. “Well, mine wasn’t musical at all. But she was okay. She just wanted us to do our chores, keep the house straight, make sure things were in place, that kind of thing. It wasn’t so bad.”

Xena digested this. “What about you father?”

No answer.

The queen’s blue eyes opened a trifle wider, and  she shifted a little onto her side, tipping her head back and looking at her slave’s still form. “I never knew mine.” She added. “I think he died.”

Gabrielle’s shoulders shifted, and moved, as though she were taking a deep breath. Then she turned her head and met Xena’s eyes.

There was the secret. Xena could read it in the set, pained look around Gabrielle’s eyes, and the thinning of her lips. There was a sullen storminess that was it’s own warning, and she decided to ease her approach. “Didn’t get along with him, huh? It happens.” She put a slightly offhand tone in her voice. “Ask Brendan sometime… had a family the likes of which would scare Zeus.”

Gabrielle’s eyes dropped, and she fingered an apple, her shoulders slumping a little. “No, we didn’t get along.” She whispered.

Xena rolled all the way over and got up, sliding across the grass to Gabrielle’s side and leaning an arm on her shoulder. “There are bastards out there, Gabrielle. Just being related to someone doesn’t help.”  She said. “You gotta throw that aside sometimes. I know.”

“Do you?” The slave looked up at her.

The queen nodded. “Yeah. Place I came from…” She inhaled. “Figured they’d make some easy money, selling me and my army out.”  A lock of dark hair dropped over the pale blue eyes, half hiding them.  “I burned that place to the ground for it.”

“For your men?” Gabrielle murmured.

“Listen.” Xena gentled her voice. “There are two kinds of families, Gabrielle. The one you’re born into.. you ain’t got much choice in that, and more often than not, the only thing that binds you together is blood.”

“Mm.”

“The other kind is the kind you choose… when you come across people you want to make part of your life.”  Xena added. “You’re that kind of family, for me.”  She touched her knuckles to Gabrielle’s cheek. “You’re that to me.”

Gabrielle blinked a few times, then she reached up and took Xena’s hand, bringing it to her lips and kissing it.  She leaned closer, then put her arms around the queen and hugged her, burying her face into the cloth over Xena’s shoulder.

A trifle startled, the queen hesitated, then she got hold of Gabrielle and pulled her awkwardly into her lap.  Something relatively traumatic was going on, she recognized, feeling the tremors in the girl’s body but damned if she knew what it was, or what she was supposed to do about it.

That’s what I get for trying to be nice, she mused wryly. Next time, Xena,  just talk about the weather.

After a few minutes, Gabrielle’s tense shoulders relaxed and she exhaled, warming Xena’s skin through the fabric of her gown. “What you did… for your men? Did it bother you to do that.. because of who it was?”

Xena thought back, surprised at the question. “You mean, because it was my hometown?”

“Yes.”

“Bother me?” Xena chewed her lower lip. “I was so pissed off, I don’t think I thought about it, matter of fact.”  She said. “I didn’t really remember anyone there… well, maybe a couple of people. The one person who’d meant anything to me, she’d been chopped to pieces years before.”

“Oh.”

“But…” The queen frowned. “I remember, that night when I went to bed, I thought about it, then.”

“Did you?” Gabrielle murmured. “That’s when things bother me, too.”

“At night?”

Gabrielle nodded.

“Hmph. Then I have to try harder.” Xena remarked. “I think I’m insulted  or something.”

“Not when I’m with you.” The slave corrected herself hastily. “When I’m by myself.”

“Ah.”  The queen glanced down, charmed at the trusting, relaxed look on Gabrielle’s face. “Anyway, when I thought about it that night, it bothered me.” She admitted.

“It did?”

“Yeah, pissed me off, too.” Xena shook her head. “But it was like I’d killed a little part of myself, doing that, even though those bastards deserved it.”

Gabrielle slowly nodded, just a little. “It’s really hard for me sometimes.” She spoke in a soft voice. “I want to grieve for my family… but there are parts of that I don’t…” A pained pause. “T.. that I don’t miss.”

She stopped speaking, and huddled against Xena.

Now, did she really want to know this secret? Xena felt very tired, and a little sad. “Gabrielle?”  She hugged her a little closer. “I can’t guarantee you and I won’t get hurt in this… I think you know I’m not the safest person to be around.”

A distinct pause, and then Gabrielle inhaled. “I know that.”

“But I promise you this..” The queen spoke quietly and clearly. “That as long as you’re with me, and as long as I’m able, no one else will ever hurt you if I can prevent it.” She cupped Gabrielle’s cheek, and gazed down into her eyes. “You’re mine.”

Gabrielle’s fair lashes blinked, scattering crystalline droplets in the dappled sunlight. “I’m yours.” She whispered. “And I believe you.”

“Good.” Xena ducked her head and they kissed.

**

Gabrielle carried a basin of water into her little cubby and set it down. She was alone in the queen’s chambers – Xena had gone off somewhere to talk to someone and left her to wash and dress for the evening’s high court.

She looked at the pretty dress Xena had given her to wear, it’s rich, green fabric draped neatly over the end of her bed, then she slowly walked over and sat down next to it, letting her hand rest on it’s softness as she leaned back to think.

Xena’s words had touched her far more deeply than she thought the queen had intended. They had shaken something loose inside her and brought back memories that were churning inside her guts and making her legs shake as she sat there.

Looking up into Xena’s eyes, there in that garden, under those wonderful trees, she’d found it in herself to trust, and as though she’d stepped over a line in the walk, she had.

She was scared. She drew up her bare feet onto her little cot and rested her elbows on her thighs, cradling her head in her hands.  It felt so strange, so wrong to give up all the ties she’d felt for her family, and replace them with this new, dangerous bond to a woman she sometimes felt she barely knew.

And yet.  Gabrielle rested her chin against her laced thumbs, her eyes gazing at the neat alcoves in her little space.  And yet there was something about Xena that commanded her trust.  The question she had to ask herself was, did she want to give all she was to the queen because the woman deserved that, or because she was in truth, a frightened kid who didn’t know any better?

Did anyone really deserve that kind of trust?

Gabrielle thought about Lila, and how she would feel if she saw her sister giving herself to the woman who saw her slaughtered.  What would Lila think of her?

Do what you have to do to survive, Bree.  She could almost hear the ghostly echo of her sister’s voice. Nobody will do it for you.

With a sigh, Gabrielle got up off the cot and walked to the water basin, picking up a square of linen and a small bar of soap Xena had tossed her earlier than day. She sniffed the soap, and held back a faint smile as it brought the queen’s scent to mind.

She could lie to herself and say she was following Lila’s advice. It might make her feel better if she thought she was acting strictly in her own self interests, and maybe it would reduce the guilt.  Gabrielle scrubbed the linen on the soap, then started washing her face with it.

But the truth was she was totally lost in her love for Xena and she was honest enough to admit that to herself. She wanted to be with her just because she wanted to be with her, wanted to feel her touch, and be in her presence, and she was even starting to appreciate the queen’s very quirky sense of humor.

Was it a betrayal?

“Well.”  Gabrielle rinsed her face off and started on her hands and arms. “You know what? Maybe it is,” She spoke aloud. “But I can’t help that. If it is, then someday I’ll have to stand in Tartarus and answer for it I guess.”

She finished washing, and glanced out the doorway, judging the time by the light remaining in the window. She figured she had a little while before she needed to get dressed, so she wandered over to the dresser and poured herself a small bit of mead which she took back to her cot with her.

She sat down and stretched her legs out, wiggling her toes as she sipped her drink. The heady mead filled her mouth, it’s rich taste elicting a soft sound of appreciation as she swallowed.  Then a though occurred to her and she set her cup down, getting up and going to the small chest and opening it. She removed a ragged sheaf of parchment and an old quill and returned to her seat.

“Okay.” Gabrielle pulled her legs up under her and wriggled into a more comfortable position, then she balanced the tiny ink jar on the edge of the cot and dipped her quill into it. Leaning over her work, she nibbled the end of the quill a moment, the started to write in slow, careful glyphs.

**

Xena strolled back across the courtyard of the castle, enjoying the last rays of sunlight as they disappeared beyond the castle walls.  The twilight was a dim, purple wash over the gray stone, and the cold breeze rising brought her the scent of pine and spruce from beyond the road.

She found her steps, impossibly, drawing her back to the garden and before she knew it, she was pushing open the gates and striding inside.   “What the Hades am I doing here?” She turned in a circle, lifting her arms and letting them drop.

It was dim and quiet inside the garden now, but the scents had gotten even stronger and it was almost overwhelming to her sensitive nose.

A large bush near the entrance was particularly strong, and Xena wandered over to it, examining the thick, white flowers that were clustered everywhere over it’s surface.  They were many petaled and had a silky texture Xena found quite pleasant when she felt one.

They also smelled pretty good.

Xena cocked her head, then snapped her fingers. “Bet I know who’d like a bunch of this stuff.”  She set aside the fact that she, Xena the Merciless, was about to pick flowers for her girlfriend, and got down to business.

First off, she had to pick the best ones. Xena circled the bush as though it were a catapult, sorting among the blossoms for the largest and most perfectly formed.  She collected a dozen, tucking them into her hand so that they formed a neat, circular cluster.

Xena fluffed a petal or two, then she gingerly lifted her hand and sniffed the bouquet.  “Mm.”  She nodded in approval, turning and heading back for the gate. Halfway there, she paused, looked down at her hand, tipped her head back and looked up at the sky, then sighed, and shook her head so hard her dark hair flew out in all directions for a long moment. “I am losing my mind.”

With that cheerful thought, she marched through the gates and proceeded down the stone path towards the stronghold’s thick, wooden doors.    They opened as she approached, and she gave the two guards on either side a dignified nod as she swept past them with her fistful of foliage.

“Ah, Majesty.” Stanislaus hurried towards her, stopping a few lengths away and gazing at the flowers with a puzzled look. “Is there a problem? Shall I have the gardener brought to you?”

Xena looked down at her hand, then up at him. “No.” She stated gruffly. “What do you want?”

“All is as you asked for in the great hall, Mistress.” The seneschal rubbed his hands together. “We shall have great roasts, and the new kegs the ale master has tapped are excellent.”

“Good.”  Xena started walking again. “Make sure we’ve got wine on every table, and there’s plenty of food for them to stuff themselves with. I don’t want them to forget this little party.”

“Very good, Mistress.” Stanislaus nodded. “Shall I double the guard?”

Xena stopped and turned. “If I wanted that, I’d ask for it.” She snarled. “This isn’t a trap, you moron. They’re supposed to leave happy. No one’s going to be gutted, no one’s getting their head… either head… taken off, and hopefully I won’t have to break anyone’s neck.” She spat out. “Happy, got me? Happy?”

The seneschal blinked. “I… your pardon, Mistress. Of course!”  He said. “It’s just that…” A pause. “I thought you would judge his Grace Evgast this evening.”

Xena’s eyes narrowed. “I changed my mind. Let him stew in the dungeon.”

“Very well, my liege.” Stanislaus appeared confused.  “I am sure your vassals will be pleased to enjoy the night with you, it’s just that…”

“Just that usually dinner with me is like eating with asps?” Xena remarked acidly.

“Mistress…”

“Make sure everyone knows… no one’s gonna get hurt. I’m not out for blood tonight. Understand?” The queen said. “Even Bregos’ bastards. They’re safe.”

“Understood, Mistress.”  Stanislaus backed away slightly. “I will make sure the word is passed through the servants.”

“Good.” Xena growled. She lifted her hand and sniffed her flowers, then turned and stalked off down the hall, her gown whisking behind her.

**

“And, as the darkness closed over them, the wind blew back to the evil Duke the sound of their laughter – but all his men could not bring back the prize they stole away into freedom on thundering hooves.”

Gabrielle chewed on her quill again, studying the words.  “The brave queen rode at their head, bringing home a lost love, out of the cold, into the light and warmth of her husband’s arms.”  She continued, sounding the words out and liking the way they filled the small cubby she was in.  “Does that sound right?”

“Sounds great to me.”

Gabrielle yelped, and sat up, then relaxed as she recognized Xena’s deep tones. “Oh.” She turned and looked at the doorway now filled with the queens’ tall form. She had a slightly windblown look, and was holding one hand behind her back.  “Hi. Sorry. I got.. I know I was supposed to be ready but I.. um..”

“S’allright.” Xena interrupted her. “I got a little sidetracked myself.”  She jerked her chin at the parchment. “I like that.”

Gabrielle looked at the letters, then up at her queen shyly. “You do? You didn’t hear it all, just a little bit.”

Xena smiled. “I already know I’m gonna love it.”  She said. “Listen… tonight’s going to be sort of a special night and…” She paused.  “Tell that story.”

The slave blinked, a mildly started look appearing. “Tonight? Me?” She stammered. “To… everyone?”

The queen nodded.

Gabrielle felt panic threatening to take her over. Tell her story? In front of the nobles? Everyone?  She felt her jaw drop and the quill fell out of her hands, and she started to breathe more quickly feeling short of air.  “Uh… uh…”

Xena crossed the small space in a single stride and dropped down to sit next to her adorable, if somewhat freaked out little lover. “Hey!”

“Buh..” Gabrielle managed to squeak out.

“Here.” Xena thrust her fist at her, wanting a distraction desperately.

“Wh… what?”

“Look.” Xena tipped her head downward.

The slave looked at the unexpected cluster of white blooms. She inhaled, then leaned forward and sniffed at them. “Oh.” Her voice softened. “Wow..those are pretty.” She almost whispered. “What are they for?” Her eyes lifted up and met Xena’s in innocent question.

Now it was Xena’s turn feel slightly short of breath. She experience an extremely odd sensation, as though her tongue were stuck to the roof of her mouth and she had to clear her throat before she could speak. “They’re for you.”  She finally said.

The green eyes lowered again. “Me?”

“Yeah.”

Gabrielle reached out and folded her hands around the stems, tangling her fingers with Xena’s. She bent over and sniffed them again, then looked shyly up at the queen. “I don’t have to eat them, do I?”

That surprised a laugh out of Xena. “No.” She slid her free hand along Gabrielle’s neck, tilting her face up slightly. “And I really do want you to tell that story.” She added. “I want these people to hear it.”

“I don’t … know if I can.” Gabrielle uttered.

“You can.” The queen told her, with utter surety. “I’m the queen, and I said so. Remember I told you it’s all about me?”

Gabrielle nodded. “I remember.” She agreed. “All right. I’ll do my best.”

“Good girl.” Xena kissed her.

Mm. Gabrielle put a temporary lid on the butterflies, and enjoyed the kiss.  She’d do her best, that was all she could do.

The scent of flowers drifted up around them.

**

Yet another pause, on yet another night, before yet another entrance into her grand ballroom.  Xena  stood in the shadows of the doorway’s arch, taking her usual time in observing the inside of the room before she allowed the guards to announce her presence.

She’d stood here many times, for many reasons.

This was the first time, though, that she wasn’t alone.  Even when she’d taken lovers before, they’d always been sent ahead, to take their place as pretty ornaments near her throne.

This time, however, was different.  Xena glanced to one side, where a quiet figure stood next to her watching the goings-on with curious eyes.   Gabrielle was wearing the green dress Xena had picked out for her, it’s gently dipping neckline flattering her nicely.  Around her neck, the girl was wearing a fragrant necklace made from the flower Xena had given her, strung neatly together by Gabrielle’s inventive hands.

She looked really pretty. Xena was happy.  “Ready?” She asked, extending a hand out.

Gabrielle’s eyes widened a little, but she took it, and clasped her fingers around the queen’s. “No, but I don’t think that’s going to stop you, is it?”

“Heh… clever little muskrat.” Xena chuckled. “C’mon.” She stepped up to the entrance, and slapped the guard on the butt, nearly making him stab himself with his spear. “No sleeping.”

“Majesty.” The man squeaked. “I wasn’t!” He peered past his queen, spotting Gabrielle and blinking.

Gabrielle gave him a tentative, but hopeful smile. “Hi.”

“M’lady.”

Xena slapped him on the butt again. “Nope. Mine.” She jerked her jaw towards the room. “Get the screaming over with so I can go sit down preferably with my friend here on my lap.”

The guard seemed to realize his queen was in a good mood, because the admonition got more of a grin than a grimace, and he smiled as he turned towards the room again and banged the butt of his spear on the ground.

“M’lords and Ladies!” The guard boomed out. “All stand in awe for the entrance of her Majesty, Xena the Merciless!”

“In awe. I like that.” Xena complimented him, as she swept past with Gabrielle in amiable tow. She kept hold of the girl’s hand as they strutted past the bowing and scraping nobles. A glance behind her indicated she was probably giving her love slave an experience she wasn’t really craving, but Xena figured she’d better get used to it.

She clasped Gabrielle’s hand a little more firmly and slowed her pace, watching the girls’ shoulders straighten out of the corner of her eye as she found the bobbing heads focusing on both of them.  After a moment, Gabrielle’s head turned slightly and she looked at the queen with mild apprehension.

Xena winked at her, and Gabrielle smiled. They walked up the marble steps together and Xena glanced approvingly at the meticulously set high table, it’s crystal and china gleaming in the candlelight.  She circled the table and gracefully ducked her head in a nod as two of the liveried men moved her chair aside and bowed to her.

She then ignored them, guiding Gabrielle to the seat next to her, the favored seat – the one Bregos had coveted. “Siddown.” She uttered, as Gabrielle gave her a surprised look.

“Here?”

“I don’t have a lap yet. I’m standing. So yes.” The queen drawled. She waited for Gabrielle to nervously sit down, then, and only then did she slid into her place and settled onto her throne.  A precedent, and she knew it.  No one sat down before the queen.

After a brief, almost shocked silence, the crowd started to stir, taking their places in their appointed seats at the tables placed in a horseshoe shape with Xena at the very apex.  Duke Lastay and his wife appeared, pacing slowly up the steps and bowing low to the queen before they took their place at Xena’s other side.

“Mistress.” Lastay rumbled, his eyes somberly twinkling. “Tis a beautiful night.”

“For you? I bet.” Xena grinned at him, glancing past him to give his wife a look. “Cat got your tongue?”

“We have no animals, Majesty.” The woman assured her in an earnest voice.

Gabrielle laughed softly, but not softly enough for Xena to miss it.  The queen turned and met her slave’s eyes, her own rolling slightly.  “It’s amazing she can think enough to breed.”  She murmured under her breath.

The slave leaned on the chair arm closest to Xena and gazed up at her. “I don’t remember thinking a whole lot.” She advised the queen with a charmingly innocent smile.

Xena had been taking a sip from her wine glass, newly filled by the solicitous wine steward. She paused in mid swallow and turned her eyes on her companion. “Was that a sex joke?” She asked.

Gabrielle blushed.

“I’ll be damned.” Xena laughed. “You little Bacchae.”

“Problem, Majesty?” Lastay inquired, lifting his own glass and toasting her. “Daresay your little lady looks nothing like a Bacchae, Mistress. Horrible things, they are. My father had a tapestry commissioned that has two of them in it.”

“Really?” Xena touched her glass to his, peripherally aware of the eyes avidly watching them. She took another sip of her wine. “Didn’t know that was how he felt about your mother and her sister. I didn’t think they were that bad looking.”

Lastay gave her a surprised look, then he burst out laughing. “Good one, Mistress.” He admitted. “Asked for that, I did.”

Xena chuckled and leaned back, surveying the room with a sense of pleasure. The crowd had settled in to their first cups of wine, and the servants were bringing round silver platters full of appetizing tidbits. There  was a sense of anticipation she could detect, but the usual pall of darkling gloom her presence often caused was missing.

People were looking over at her, but there was more curiosity in their eyes than hatred.

Novel.  Xena noticed that they were also watching Gabrielle. She turned her head slightly to do the same, as one of the servers offered her little love slave a platter of interesting little bits of bread covered with things she was pretty damn sure Gabrielle had no clue about.

Gabrielle took a soft bit of pastry topped with a chopped fish and nibbled at it, her pale brows jerking up in surprised pleasure at the taste. She finished it, then explored her other choices, each time taking a very cautious bite before continuing.

It was cute. Xena found herself absorbed in watching, as she slowly drained her wine cup and held it out lazily as the wine man approached.

“Tis a new vintage, Majesty.” The man said, in his deep voice. “Does it please you?”

Xena examined the color, a rich burgundy, then sniffed it before she took a swallow. After a thoughtful pause, she nodded. “Nice.” She complimented him. “Sweet. I like it.” She indicated Gabrielle’s glass, and he filled it as well.

“Thank you, Majesty.” The man said. “Since you hadn’t asked for your usual bottles these last days, I’d thought you’d grown away from my grapes.”  He added. “I am graced by the knowledge you still appreciate them.”

Xena watched him turn aside to fill Lastay’s glass and thought about what he’d just said as she slowly sipped the wine.

Had she slacked off? Or, more to the point, had it become so regular for her that…  The queen frowned, and set her glass down, her brow creasing as she reviewed her recent past. Surely she hadn’t drank that much, had she?

“What’s wrong?” Gabrielle leaned closer, and whispered. “Everything okay?”

Had she.  A curious smile crossed Xena’s face as she realized she had, indeed, been slowly increasing her consumption over the seasons.  Something to take the edge off?  “Just pondering the massive and unexpected changes you’ve made in my life.” She commented casually to Gabrielle. “Nothing serious. Drink up.” She indicated the glass on the table. “Good stuff.”

“Um.. okay.” Gabrielle sounded a touch breathless. She took up the wine and sampled it cautiously. “Wow. That is good.”

Xena gazed down at her, from shadowed blue eyes. “Does it taste better than I do?”

Caught with a mouthful of liquid, Gabrielle had very few choices and fortunately she picked swallowing instead of breathing. “Buh… uh… no.”

“Ah.” The queen wiggled her shoulders, supremely satisfied. “Likewise. So that explains that.” She lifted a hand. “Jellaus!!! Get over here and start playing.”  Her attention turned back to Gabrielle. “Do you know how to dance?”

Both hands clutched around the cup, Gabrielle stared wide eyed at her. “No.”

“You will when I get done with you.” Xena gave her minstrel a pleasant grin, as his talented fingers started strumming the strings of his harp.

Gabrielle just sat there for a long moment, listening to the beauty of the music, and allowing her wildly jangled nerves to resettle themselves.  The wine was very good, it had a light, fruity taste that seemed to get up inside her nose as she drank it and she used the excuse of doing just that to give her some time to get her head on straight.

It was like a dream. Here she was, sitting at the queen’s side, drinking wine and eating the gods only knew what as she listened to a royal minstrel play.

And she belonged here.  That was the amazing thing. This spot, this chair was her place and Xena had made that quite clear to everyone else in the room.

Whoa. Gabrielle relaxed, just a little, wondering if she might possibly be able to sort of enjoy herself tonight. Everyone was in a good mood, even Xena, and she could sense a crowd here that was far less tense than she’d ever seen inside this room in her short tenure around the queen.

She looked up at Xena, watching the stern profile crease into a smile as the queen listened. Xena glanced over at her and their eyes met and her smile broadened, lighting up her expression and making her look a lot younger all of a sudden.

The smile made Gabrielle smile back and she felt a warm, euphoric feeling erupt deep inside her, making the room’s colors brighter and deepening the sense of pleasure she could now feel coming over her. It was an odd, bubbly feeling, and it woke old memories inside her, of a time long before when she and her sister would race around in the meadow, chasing the lambs and laughing.

Wow. Gabrielle impulsively lifted her glass to Xena’s and touched it, then she let it slide past and offered it up to the queen’s lips.

With an answering grin, the queen slid her arm through Gabrielle’s and tipped her cup to the smaller woman’s mouth.

They drank looking into each other’s souls.

And this, Gabrielle marveled, was what joy felt like.

Wow.

**

“Everyone enjoy their dinner?” Xena’s voice rose over the soft murmur of conversation, stilling it. “I did.”  She didn’t wait, or frankly, really cared about an answer. “Now for the reason I threw this little party.”  She observed all the eyes gluing themselves to her. “You’ve all been clamoring for me to name an heir, in case one of those little assassination plots succeeds one day and you don’t have to deal with me anymore.”

“Majesty… that is not how we feel.” One of the older dukes stood up.

“Oh, shut up and sit down.” Xena injected a chuckle just to let him know she wasn’t going to kill him. “I don’t’ give a damn about your feelings.”  She waited for the low laughter to die down. “I decided to give you what you were asking for so you’d stop plotting to throw skanky dipwads into my bed.”

“Mistress.” Stanislaus had come to stand nearby, and now he fussed with his beard.

“We were only thinking of your happiness, Mistress.” The older duke spoke up again, unrepentantly.

Xena rolled her eyes. “I found my own happiness.” She remarked casually. “Thanks for trying. Don’t do it again.”  She stood up and reached behind her throne, where she’d ordered her sword hung in it’s worn leather sheath. Laying her hand on it, she drew the blade out, it’s steel against hide whisper suddenly loud in the now silent room.

She walked out from behind her table and descended the steps, twirling the sword lazily. The weight of it felt good, and familiar, and the looks of widened apprehension that followed her were good and familiar too.

It wouldn’t do to let anyone get too comfortable, now would it?  Xena stopped in the very center of the room and paused, letting the sword fall to rest on her shoulder.  She looked around the room, assuring herself of every iota of attention before she spoke.

“You wanted an heir.” She said. “All right. You’ll get one.  Lastay, get over here.”

Xena heard the indrawn breaths around her, and she smiled grimly as she kept her head straight forward and waited as Lastay twitched his natty silk cape into place and marched down to meet her.  When he reached the spot she stood in he dropped to his knees almost gracefully and bowed his head.

“Majesty…. “ The elder Duke protested faintly. “May I speak?”

“Only if you want your tongue served on toast.” Xena replied pleasantly.  “I hereby declare Duke Lastay my heir.” She spoke loudly, bringing her sword down and smacking him on one shoulder with it. “He gets the unlucky priveledge of being my successor, to rule this land for as long as he wants.” She smacked him on the other shoulder. “Or as long as he can, or until he runs screaming for the hills.” She laid the flat of the blade on the top of his head.  “Good luck.”

Lastay lifted his head cautiously and looked up at her. “Thank you, Mistress.”

Xena removed the sword from his head and turned it, patting him on the face with the blade in an almost affectionate way.   Then she settled it back on her shoulder and reached down to him, offering him a hand up.

He took it, and she pulled him to his feet. Standing he was not quite as tall as she was, but he at least had reasonably good proportions, and as she watched him, he straightened up, with a look halfway between resigned and proud.

Very appropriate, Xena thought.

Stanislaus pounded his staff against the floor. “All hail Prince Lastay!”  He called out in a loud voice.

Xena sensed the hesitation in the air. “Or else.” She added, with a saucy twirl of her sword.

The room erupted in cheers. Xena winked at Lastay, then slapped him on the butt with her blade and pointed back to the table.  “Send runners out.” She ordered Stanislaus. “I want this announcement posted in every damn town with enough wall to post it on.”

“Mistress, your wish is my will.” Stanislaus bowed low.  “I will have the announcement made to all the land.”

Xena went to her seat, sheathing her sword before she resumed her place at Gabrielle’s side. Lastay lingered behind as the crowd clustered around him, offering their congratulations.

“Xena?” Gabrielle squirmed closer. “Some of those people really didn’t like your idea.”

“I know.” Xena told her, leaning on her chair arm and lowering her voice confidentially.  “See, their plan was to get Bregos into my bed, get me pregnant, then after I popped out a kid and they figured me pretty much helpless, they’d kill me and hold Bregos under their thumb to run the army while they played regent for my kid.”

“Yerg.” Gabrielle made a face. “How terrible.. “

“Uh huh.”

“And that poor little baby… growing up with out it’s mother.”

Xena chuckled humorlessly. “He’d be better off.” She told her slave. “I have as many maternal instincts as Bregos had brain cells.”  She lifted her hand and reached out to run her fingers through Gabrielle’s soft hair.  “Are you ready to get up there and make me look good?”

Gabrielle bit her lip. “Um…” She took a deep breath. “Yes, I’m ready.”

Xena watched her face. “Scared?”

The slave nodded readily.

“Relax.” The queen advised her. “Even if you completely bomb, no one in this room’ll make a sound about it.” She ducked her head and indulged in a little kiss. “I’m in a good mood, but no one wants to push it.” Her tongue explored Gabrielle’s lips, tasting the sweetness of the wine on them.

She knew she was scandalizing the room.  Deliberately, she pulled Gabrielle closer, aware of the deepening of the breathing between the lips meeting hers. She felt Gabrielle shift slightly, and nearly lost control of her own breathing when the slave’s hand touched her side, stroking her ribs slowly through the fabric of her gown.

Xena lifted her head and opened her eyes, finding Gabrielle’s green eyes, darkened with desire, inches from hers.  The queen managed a smirk for her. “Hold on to that thought for later.” She whispered.

“Okay.” Gabrielle whispered back. “But I wish it was later already.”

A charming grin appeared on the queen’s face. “Me too.” She admitted. “G’wan and tell my story. Then we’ll show these highbrows how to dance dirty.”

Gabrielle looked at the crowd, then back at her. “Ooh.”  She murmured. “I hope I can do this.”

“Tell the story, or dance with me?” Xena teased her.

“Yes.”

Xena laughed. She leaned back in her chair and reached out again to ruffle Gabrielle’s hair. “I told you… you’ll do just fine.”  She reassured the girl. “So go on, and just do it.”

Gabrielle took another deep breath, placing her hands on the arms of her chair and pushing herself to her feet.  “Here I go.”   She eased out from behind her seat and pushed it back into place, then she walked behind Xena’s throne and headed out around the front of the table.

Stanislaus sidled over. “Is there a problem, Mistress?”

Xena rolled one blue eye towards him. “Did it look like there was a problem, Stanislaus?”  She asked, in a seductive drawl.

To his credit, the man blushed. “No.. no, of course not, Mistress.. I just wondered if…ah.. your.. um..”

“Delicious little love slave? Yes?” Xena watched Gabrielle walk down the steps, appreciating the gentle swagger in her motion.

“Needed something, Mistress.” Stanislaus sighed. “I am sure not.”

The queen chuckled again. “Gabrielle is going to tell us all a story, Stanislaus. Announce her. I want everyone to shut up and listen.”

The seneschal nodded, turning and heading off towards the edge of the platform. He stopped after a few steps and turned around again, returning to Xena’s side. “Mistress, how shall I call her?”

Xena knew what he was asking. The trouble was, she didn’t know if she really knew the answer to that herself yet. “By her name.” She answered briefly. “It’s Gabrielle, in case you didn’t catch it.”

Stanislaus nodded and returned to his mission, marching around to the front of the high dais and rapping his staff on the ground for attention.  “Hear ye, hear ye.”

Gabrielle had reached the center of the room and now she turned, startled, and looked at him. After a second, she glanced uncertainly up at Xena, as though seeking reassurance.

Aw.  Xena gave her a thumbs up. The kid looked petrified, but she figured she’d be all right after she got started. At least she hoped so. She wanted to hear that damned story.

“Lords and ladies, our great Majesty, Xena the Merciless has graciously allowed you all to listen to a story of her choosing, told by her Majesties favorite, Gabrielle.”

Xena sorted through the words and decided not to kick Stanislaus for them.  She settled comfortably back and folded her hands over her stomach, politely acknowledging the many flavors of stares in her direction.

After a moment, the crowd calmed down and turned their attention to Gabrielle, who, standing in the center of them appeared small, nervous, and a bit out of breath.

Come on.  Xena tried to will her a bit of the excess bravado she always seemed to be carrying around with her. Do it!

She held her breath, as she watched Gabrielle’s hands clench into fists and then relax, and saw the shift of the girl’s jaw as she licked nervous lips.

A thought occurred to her – was it fair to ask her to do this? The kid was obviously out of her depth, and the last thing Xena wanted to do was to make her make a fool of herself in front of this roomful of prize jackasses.

No.  Xena started to rise. She’d call it off, and get the kid off the hot seat. Was she nuts, to force her into something she wasn’t ready for just because Xena selfishly wanted it that way?

True, she was the queen, and it was her right to do that, but…. Feeling confused, and a little angry Xena straightened up and stepped away from her throne.

A sound stopped her.

“There is a story I want to tell you.” Gabrielle’s voice rose up into the air, youthful yet firm, with only a trace of a tremor in it. “It is a story of daring and danger, of a ride in the darkness to right a wrong and restore freedom to one who had lost it.”

Xena slowly sat down.

“Listen to my story.”

Xena listened, not caring if anyone else did, as for the first time in her life she saw herself through the eyes of someone who saw her as something very special.  She heard the wonder in Gabrielle’s voice, and drank in the details avidly, only barely resisting the urge to stop the girl and make her retell some of them.

I did that. She felt an almost childish glee. I broke into a castle and rescued a princess.

“And then, they snuck up the stairs, stealthy and silent, like shadows of vengeance they slipped through the halls.”

Gabrielle’s tone had taken on a richness and confidence now.  Xena felt a smile appearing.  She glanced to one side, and found Lastay’s wife watching her. For a moment, their eyes met, and instead of fear, Xena saw a quiet gratitude there.

That was different. The queen returned her attention to her slave, whose body was relaxing slightly as she brought her hands up and started to use them in time with her speech.

Adorable.

Finally she tore her eyes from Gabrielle’s face and looked around, seeing a crowd as absorbed in the story as she was.  They liked it. She could tell.  This was something new.

It was only much later that she realized that Gabrielle had, in fact, left out some details.  But she’d already forgiven her for that.

Right now, she’d promised a dancing lesson.

She got up and clapped when the girl finished, and the entire room joined her, filling the room with sound as she went down the stairs to collect the flushed, and overwhelmed Gabrielle.  As she reached her, the slave looked up, searching her face intently and smiling at whatever she found there.  Xena felt an overwhelming impulse take over and she opened her arms, gathering Gabrielle up in a hug.

She felt completely out of control.

Gabrielle gave her a squeeze, and wriggled against her body, and Xena realized she didn’t care if she was out of control.  All that mattered to her was contained in the circle of her arms.

It was terrifying.

She loved it.

**

Continued in Part 14

Shadows of the Soul

Part 14

It was a beautiful night out, a perfectly black sky arching overhead exploding with stars that twinkled at them as they walked down the quiet stone path towards the queen's tower. It was cold, and the wind snapped the black and yellow banners on the walls with a satisfyingly crisp sound. Gabrielle took a deep breath, letting the chill wake her up a bit and chase the wine's vagueness from her thoughts.

Xena was strolling next to her, quiet for once and seemingly without the restless edginess usually present around her. It was late, long past the mid- night, and they'd left the dining hall nearly the last to do so, instead of Xena's customary early retirement. "D'ja have fun?" The queen asked her younger companion casually.

Gabrielle grinned. "Yes." She admitted. "I didn't think telling that story would be like it turned out to be. It was cool." She tipped her head back and gathered in the stars, amazed as always at just how prolific they were. "Isn't that gorgeous?"

Xena studied her slave's face, her own creasing into a smile. She held out her hand, and clasped Gabrielle's as the slave extended it willingly, and they continued to walk unhurriedly on. It was such a nice contrast, the warmth of that grip in the cool of the night, and it matched the warm spot she could almost feel growing inside her. "I liked the story."

Gabrielle eyed her expectantly. "But?"

"But nothing." The queen responded. "What makes you think there was one?"

"Oh, well." The slave murmured. "I mean, you usually don't just.. um... like something and not not like other things."

Xena's eyes flickered to Gabrielle's face and stuck there. "Are you drunk?" She asked, half teasingly, pulling Gabrielle to a halt and cupping her face with her free hand. "I didn't think you had that much, did ja?"

Gabrielle's eyes, soft and loving in the moonlight touched on her like the softest down. "I... don't know." She said. "I feel kinda dizzy." Her fingers stroked the skin on Xena's arm. "But I usually do around you anyway."

"Yeah?" Xena admired the curve of the girls' cheek, which held still a touch of youthful softness.

"Yeah." Gabrielle uttered softly. "It's amazing... I look at you, and I feel like...." She inhaled. "I feel like floating."

The queen regarded her with bemusement. "Floating?" She stepped closer, laying her forearms on Gabrielle's shoulders and lacing her fingers behind the girl's head. "I don't want you floating off. I want you right here, on the ground, with me. Understand?"

Gabrielle laid her cheek along Xena's arm. "I think I do understand." She let her hands rest on the queen's waist and smiled. "I love you."

Xena's eyebrows twitched, and a rakish grin appeared on her face. It took years off her appearance and Gabrielle found it charming in the extreme. The long night of food and wine had made her a little foggy, but her perceptions sharpened as the queen leaned closer and their bodies brushed against each other. It felt warm, and very nice, and Gabrielle closed her eyes as Xena's lips touched hers.

They tasted wonderful. Gabrielle opened her mouth a little, and felt the queen's tongue lightly exploring, entering her and teasing gently as her thumbs traced lightly over Gabrielle's jawline. A gust of wind tangled their hair together, tickling their noses with the touch of pitch smoke from the nearby torches on the wall.

How long they stood there, kissing in the moonlight was hard to say. Gabrielle was aware of the cold wind circling around her, but the chill made no purchase against the heat she could feel stirring between them as their bodies touched, and pressed against each other, bellies molding together tightly enough for them to have to breathe in the same rhythm.

Xena finally lifted her head back a trifle, her breath warming the skin around Gabrielle's mouth as she gazed lazily at her slave. "Know what?"

Gabrielle's eyes slowly drifted open. "What?"

"I think we'd better keep walking or you're gonna end up on your butt in the dirt while I live up to my very... very.. " Xena kissed her lightly on the lips. "Lusty reputation."

"Oh." Gabrielle's fingers traced a line down the queen's side. "I think that nice, soft bed would be nicer."

"My point." Xena bumped her in the direction of the tower. "C'mon." She draped her arm around Gabrielle's shoulders and they started moving again. The guards near the wall stared straight ahead as they passed, moving not one muscle as the two lovers walked by. "Know what part of that story I liked the best?." Xena remarked placidly as they reached the tower door, and the guard swept it open for them.

"The part where you save the princess?" Gabrielle inquired.

"Nah." The queen chuckled softly. "The part where those stupid bastards walked right by us on the stairs." She said, as they walked up the wide, circular steps. "I laughed." She added. "I could see the whole thing again, and I laughed my head off."

Gabrielle's nose wrinkled up a little. "I bet those guys wouldn't think it was funny." She said. "They'd feel pretty stupid."

"Exactly why it made me laugh." The queen cheerfully informed her. "What a bunch of morons." She laughed, as they reached the top of the steps and crossed the round, spacious chamber towards her quarters. The two guards outside her door braced and saluted, bowing low before they opened the door for them and stood back. "Thanks." Xena said. "Now get out of here. I don't want anyone hearing the noises my little muskrat here makes when I ravage her. Scoot."

The two guards bolted, clattering down the back steps that lead to the kitchen without so much as a backward glance.

"Heh." Xena waited until she heard the lower door close, and the heavy scrape and bang of the bolt move into place. She glanced around the circular rotunda, her eyes flicking over the hanging tapestries and the darkened niche in the wall that had once held Gabrielle's meager space.

Then she turned and entered her private domain, shutting the door behind her and throwing it's lock, on the inside. When she finished, she looked up towards the inner entrance, where Gabrielle was waiting for her outlined in warm candlelight.

Soft echoes of sound far off distracted her, and she cocked her head to listen, but her ears only picked up the soft patter of boots and the thud of the lower door shutting. Ah. The queen dismissed the rest of the castle and concentrated on Gabrielle instead.

They walked together through the outer chamber and into the inner. Xena closed the door behind them, glancing around to find the room neatly lit by fresh candles, and a basin of clean water waiting with delicate petals floating in it.  The queen selected one experimentally and examined it, giving Gabrielle an inquiring look. "Did you sneak out of the hall tonight and do this? I must have had more wine than I thought."

Gabrielle walked over and peered at the water, resting her chin on Xena's forearm. "Wasn't me, no." She said. "You think it was Stanislaus?"

Xena snorted. "He's about as romantic as a bucket of loose horse dung. No." She looked around more carefully, spotting a decanter and two crystal glasses near the bed. "Ah hah."

Gabrielle followed her over to it. "What's that?"

The queen removed the top from the decanter and sniffed it. "Ahmmm...." Her voice descended into a rich warble. "Something I dearly love, and very, very seldom indulge in." She picked up a small piece of parchment next to the decanter and unfolded it, chuckling a little as she read the words. "It's from Jellaus, the old horny bastard."

Gabrielle peeked at the parchment. "Sweet nectar for the hawk, and her little mouse." The slave took a step back and put her hands on her hips, looking down at herself and then back at Xena. "You know, I'm really not that small."

Xena folded the bit of writing and tucked it under the tray. "Y'know, I once told him I'd tossed my heart in the dungeon and thrown away the key." She said. "He must be getting a jolly from all this." Her eyes remained on the tray, and her voice had softened. "Damn him."

Gabrielle moved closer and circled the queen's arm with both hands, leaning her head against her shoulder. "I like him."

"You would." Xena's lips twitched. "He likes you almost as much as he likes tweaking me about you." She lifted the bottle and poured a bit of liquid into each of the two glasses. It was a deep amber color, and it picked up the candlelight as she handed Gabrielle one, revealing a hint of mahogany and crimson in it's depths. "Go on, taste it."

Gabrielle cautiously raised the glass to her lips, pausing as the liquor tickled her nose with unfamiliar scents. She took a sip and blinked as the intense flavor that set her tongue tingling almost immediately. "Wow."

Xena watched her, swirling her glass a few times before she took her own sip. Then her eyes closed, as the flavor brought back bittersweet memories and a vision of her brother's face formed inside them.

The last night she'd seen him alive, they'd shared some of this. Lyceus had discovered a cache of it deep inside the castle bowels, hidden away for at least a generation before the man she'd deposed had ever come to live here.

He'd been so proud of himself, bringing it to her. They'd sat on the floor in front of the fire and drank from the same glass and laughed together about how far two dirt poor innkeeper's brats had come.

He'd grown into a fine warrior. Xena remembered sadly. Just not good enough to survive the treachery of the masses intent on destroying her.

"Xena?"

The queen opened her eyes, taking in the sight of yet another bright point in her life sitting under that same cloud. "Yes?"

"What's in this? It tastes like velvet feels."

Xena let the memories fade, and examined the cup instead. "Beats me." She admitted. "Every time I drink it, I think it's something else. Flowers.Orange. Mushrooms... what do you think it is?" She sat down on the bed and patted the surface next to her. When Gabrielle settled onto it, she wrapped an arm around the girl's waist and waited for the answer.

Gabrielle tasted another sip, mouthing it curiously before she swallowed. After a moment's reflection, she looked up at Xena. "Passion."

Both of the queen's eyebrows lifted sharply.

"No.. um..." The slave blushed slightly. "Not that... I... ahem." She cleared her throat. "What I meant is, whoever made this, put a lot of effort and love into it."

"Ahhh." Xena finished her glass, examining the thin, honey colored residue left on the sides. "So you can taste that, eh?" She replied, in a soft voice. "To me, it just tastes like fruit."

Gabrielle set her glass down and stood, sliding her knee between the queen's and daringly, gently, taking Xena's face in her hands. With slow deliberation, as they stared at each other, Gabrielle leaned forward and touched Xena's lips with her own as she concentrated on the depth of what she felt inside her.

After a moment she pulled back, finding eyes darkened almost to indigo watching her. "Taste it now?"

A seductive twinkle appeared. Xena licked her lips, leaving the tip of her tongue protruding slightly from between her teeth. "Eeeehhh..... getting closer. Do that again." She purred.

Gabrielle complied, inhaling a little as she felt Xena's hands exploring her body, undoing the laces on the dress she was wearing. The kiss became more intense, and suddenly she felt herself lifted slightly as Xena closed her arms around her and the room rotated as the queen laid down on her back pulling Gabrielle on top of her.

They took a brief pause to breathe, and Xena chuckled. "Now I taste it." She cupped Gabrielle's breast teasingly. "Let's see what other flavors I can find."

Gabrielle closed her teeth on the laces keeping the queen's bodice closed and tugged on them, as she wondered what new sensations they'd discover together tonight.

It seemed, at the moment, to be the perfect end to a very nearly perfect day.

**

She lay in the dark, only the dim starlight entering the window keeping the room from total blackness. It was very late, and Xena knew if she lay there for just a while longer she'd start to see the faintest hints of the coming dawn in the sky.

It couldn't come slowly enough for her. Xena exhaled slightly, soaking in the peace and listening to the sound of Gabrielle's breathing nearby. The slave was snuggled up close to her, their naked bodies pressed against each other in the warmth of the bed.

Most of her life she'd been alone, the queen mused. She'd liked it like that. No one to bother her, no one she had to be responsible for... if she wanted to take off her clothes and dance naked on the bed, no one to stare at her like she'd gone crazy... it'd been nice, and relaxed, and very comfortable.

So how come Gabrielle's constant presence had become such a natural part of her life so quickly?  Xena glanced down as she felt the slave stir in her sleep, moving closer and, as the queen's eyebrows lifted, sliding a possessive arm over her and snuggling her head into the hollow of Xena's shoulder.

"Hey." Xena frowned. "Xena the Merciless is NOT a pillow."

Deeply asleep, Gabrielle merely murmured happily, giving Xena a squeeze across the middle before relaxing bonelessly against her.

Xena regarded her with deep perplexity. Then she merely shook her head and wrapped her arm around Gabrielle's back, one fingertip tracing the faint line of hairs down the center of her spine. Love, she decided, really did unspeakable things to you.

It made you stupid in some areas. Like personal dignity. Her eyes traced the barely seen outline of Gabrielle's head. And like personal space.

But she also knew that in her life, there had been very few times when she'd really been able to consider herself to be happy, and this was one of those times. Gabrielle was the cause. Being in love was the cause. Xena allowed a smile to cross her face. Being loved in return was amazing.

Maybe she'd go riding with Gabrielle tomorrow. The queen pondered. After she spent some time drilling with her men in the morning. Then maybe she'd take a squad of them, and they'd go out and tour the kingdom, just to remind everyone all over again who the boss was.

A royal tour. Xena liked the idea more and more as she considered it. Make the bastards fawn and scrape and serve her and her men rather than have them sitting fat and happy here in her castle, being fed with her stock, and by her servants.

Yeah.

Maybe she'd find Bregos and his scum lurking out there. Xena's blue eyes twinkled happily. She could hunt them down, and rid the kingdom of that plague while she reestablished her control over the nobles and bolstered her armed forces as she gathered up recruits impressed by the show.

Yeah.

Good strategy. Xena exhaled contentedly. Kick some ass, squash a few nobles, get some presents... all in all, a great way to spend a few fortnights before the really cold weather set in. Winter was always a trial for her Ð being stuck inside most of the time, and having to listen to the plotting whispers that spread in the short day's cloistered boredom.

Gabrielle's thigh slid over hers, triggering a sensual jolt that made her nostrils flare. Xena suspected this winter wouldn't be nearly as boring as the previous ones.

At least for her.

Her thoughts wandered off for a moment, pleasantly preoccupied by the compact, warm body nestled against her, then she pulled them back on track as she considered again what role she wanted Gabrielle to play in her kingdom.

Since Gabrielle's role in Xena's life was already settled. The queen laid her hand flat on her slave's back possessively. This is mine. True in the sense that all her slaves were hers, of course, but also true in the sense that this slave was more to her than any other ever had been.

Xena thought about that for a minute. Then she tilted her head back and looked right up at the bed's canopy, the one odd frivolity she'd allowed in her quarters.

To catch spiders, of course. She hated them falling on her from the ceiling.

Gabrielle was her slave. She had no choice in her life anymore. But what if she did have one? Xena blinked. Would she choose to stay here with Xena, or leave to live her own life, free of the tension and dangers of her court?

Should I give her that choice?

Xena felt the sudden fragility of the happiness she'd discovered so recently. For something she'd never had before, it had become more important to her than she'd expected it to and now that she had it, she had no intention of losing it.

Gabrielle was very young. Young enough not to understand that you shouldn't always do things based on what other people thought, or for some stupid moralistic reason. She might choose freedom just because she thought that's what slaves were supposed to do.

Xena swallowed. She couldn't risk that. So no, she would not give Gabrielle that choice. She would keep her safe, and keep her close and not let anything happen to her. Then they would both be happy. The queen felt her guts relax, and the peace of the night once again intruded on her.

Besides, Gabrielle was happy here. Xena knew it. Happier than she'd been at home, right? Wasn't this plush bed, in a sturdy castle, a better place than some little pallet inside a sheep barn? Wasn't it? Here she was well cared for, had plenty to eat, didn't have to milk lambs in the winter...

Xena had no idea if lambs really needed milking, but it seemed like something Gabrielle might have done. She was convinced the slave had a much better life here, with her. Here she could be somebody.

Here she could live without worrying about starving.

Here she had someone to love her. Xena exhaled softly. Even if that someone was a bloodstained battle ax masquerading as a silken gowned queen. You'll stay with me forever, won't you, Gabrielle?She asked the girl silently. I'll take care of you. Not like I did with Lyceus. I thought he was tough enough to take care of himself, and look what happened to him. That won't happen to you, I promise.

Xena closed her eyes, her decision made. She felt comfortable with it Ð and determined that they would remain together, and happy for a long, long time.

Gabrielle murmured in her sleep and smiled. Xena smiled into the darkness in response. Even if she had to suffer the indignity of being a pillow once in a while.

It wasn't so bad, really.

**

Gabrielle grabbed an apple from the tray in the outer chamber before she trotted out the door and towards the kitchen stairs. Xena was bathing, and she thought she'd take the opportunity to surprise her queen with a tray of breakfast before she had to open her private court.

She was dressed in her black and gold tunic, and she was in very high spirits. Xena had kissed and hugged her when they'd woken up, and told her she loved her. The warm, genuine affection had sent Gabrielle's heart soaring and she'd then been treated to a rough and tumble wrestling that left them both laughing in the middle of the bed.

It had been such fun. Gabrielle reckoned that Xena didn't really have much fun in her life, because she reacted to it with the most amazing grin. It had also been just a little bit scary, because she'd realized somewhere in all that tussling that the queen was a huge deal stronger than she was and she'd wondered just for a moment if Xena would hurt her, not meaning to.

But no, the queen had cradled her gently, winning their wrestling by trapping Gabrielle against the sheets and kissing her half senseless.

Boy, had that felt good. Gabrielle crunched her apple happily as she ambled down the steps. It was crisp and sweet and the flavor seemed unusually wonderful to her. She pondered that, as she reached the bottom of the steps and worked the latch on the door, pushing it open and entering the kitchen.

Unsurprisingly, her arrival was noticed. Gabrielle saw the quick glances, equally quickly averted that came her way, and the air of faint unease that rose as the servants in the kitchen recognized her. With a sigh, she straightened her shoulders and walked over to the cook's station, ignoring the whispers in the background. "Morning."

"Morning, m'lady." The cook replied, keeping her eyes slightly below Gabrielle's chin. Not an easy posture, given the woman was a head taller than her, but somehow she managed. "Does the queen desire to break her fast?"

"Yes, but don't worry about it. I'll get what she needs." Gabrielle replied. "Do you have any goat's cheese?"

The cook glanced furtively at her, then she nodded and turned towards the pantry. "Aye, that I do. Be just a moment."

Gabrielle finished her apple, tucking the core into the refuse barrel before she brushed her hands off and started exploring possibilities for breakfast. Backs were turned as the servants went back to their work, which was more than okay by her. "Let's see..."

There were baskets of fruit nearby, and she gravitated there first, selecting some of the fall apples and pears. She set them aside and retrieved a few muffins, thick with grains and rich with the sweet scent of honey.  A padded crock of eggs, round and precious stood nearby and she selected several, adding them to her tray.

"Them isn't cooked, m'lady." One of the older men, another cook, told her gruffly.

"I know." Gabrielle gave him a smile. "I'll take care of that upstairs."

The man cocked his head at her interestedly. "You cook?"

"Yes."

"She is one of many talents."

Gabrielle turned at the familiar voice, pausing in surprise as she saw Toris standing next to her. He was dressed in relatively good garments, his hair trimmed neatly and his face scrubbed conspicuously well. "Hello." She said, a bit wary given their last discussion. "I haven't seen you around for a while."

Toris nodded his head in acknowledgment. "I was given to Duke Lastay's staff." He said, briefly.

Ah. That explained the clothes. Gabrielle relaxed a bit, and smiled at him. "I'm glad to hear that. I like the Duke."  She turned as the cook approached, bearing a square of cheese wrapped tightly in cloth. "Thanks." She took the cheese from her, then turned back to Toris.

"The Duke speaks well of you, too, Gabrielle." Toris commented. "It seems that you've captured the queen's attention and more, and that has made things better off for all of us."

"Well, I do my best." Gabrielle picked up her tray. Toris stepped neatly back out of her way, and half bowed, indicating the path to the steps with a flourish. He definitely looked better and she found it in her heart to be glad for him. "Thanks."

She walked towards the door and he fell into step next to her, holding the stairway door open as she started up.

"Gabrielle." Toris spoke again, this time in a lower voice. "If I come upstairs later, can we speak?"

She paused and regarded him. "Sure." She replied. "If I'm not doing something for Her Majesty."

He patted her arm, and turned away, heading for the supply table with a brisk step. Gabrielle watched him for a moment, then she turned and started upward, pondering the exchange.

What, she wondered, was Toris up to now?

And more importantly, why did he want to talk to her about it?

With a sigh, she shook her head and focused her thoughts on the task at hand. Toris' explanations would come soon enough and she had eggs to consider first.

She hoped she remembered how to cook them.

**

Gabrielle tucked her boots under her as she crouched against the wall of the practice yard, her eyes wide as she watched the sparring going on in front of her.

Two dozen of Xena's guards were faced off against each other, to her eyes whacking at random at anything that moved. She knew that wasn't really true, but it was hard to make sense of what was going on in all that chaos.

The men grunted, and yelled, and it all seemed very brutal, reminding her suddenly of the cattle slaughter down the road from Potadeia that went on ever winter.

There just wasn't enough food to keep all of them, her father had explained brusquely. So the old, the ones past bearing age or the ones that were a little sickly, they were taken to a corral downwind of the village and hacked to death. Their bodies were used as food, and their skins for many things Ð even their hooves were boiled down for something.

It was how it was, Gabrielle knew. The animals died so she could live and as a farmer's daughter, she knew better than to be too sentimental about that. But still, she wondered sometimes if the other cattle thought about it, when they saw their fellows being lead off, or missed them.

Anyway. Gabrielle turned her attention back to the grunting men. A motion caught her eye and she spotted the far door opening, allowing Xena to emerge into the practice field.

Oo. All of a sudden, the men in the area picked up the pace and really went at it. Gabrielle watched the queen as she sauntered through the melee, her body clad in her well worn practice tunic, it's snug fabric outlining her body and sending a warm tickling through Gabrielle's guts.

Boy, she looked good. Even in that old thing, because it exposed a lot of her skin, and she had her hair pulled back into a knot and she just looked... Gabrielle was aware she was mentally babbling. She sighed, and put her chin down on her wrists.

Xena's eyes met hers briefly, and she felt her insides heat up again. The queen winked at her, then extended her arm and twirled her sword in a neat figure eight, so fast Gabrielle could barely see the blade moving. She could, on the other hand, really see the queen's muscles moving and she decided Xena's long, lithe frame was a heck of a lot sexier than the guys she was moving past.

Of course, she was probably a little biased. Gabrielle admitted. But really, just watching Xena move was like watching a dance, she was so well balanced and graceful.

"All right." The queen took center stage. "Who's my first victim?"

And she had such charming manners, too. Gabrielle had to muffle a laugh, at the looks of knowing chagrin on the soldiers faces.  They gathered in a loose circle around Xena, their adoration of her obvious and the queen sensed it, a smile appearing on her face as she stood waiting.

"Well?" Xena drawled.

"It's been a while, Mistress." Brendan appeared from the far door, his sword wrapped in it's leather sheath in his gnarled hands. "Give the boys a chance to catch they breaths."

Xena flicked her blade out and slapped him on the rear as he past with the flat. "Too long." She acknowledged. "I'm getting tired of playing with myself... so let's get it on, boys." She took a step, then ducked her body and whirled in a circle, whipping the sword into a tight spiral as she spun before them. "Catch me!"

Gabrielle was entranced. She watched in awe as Xena took on the dozen of them, her body moving with such grace and speed it seemed to blur. The men came after her, but their blades were deflected in a series of flickering motions that left only the whisper of steel in the wind.

"Yeahhhaaa!" Xena let out a yell, her powerful voice punching through the air. "C'mon, you slackers!"

The soldiers redoubled their efforts, but they could barely get a blade in edgewise as Xena stalked the interior of the circle, engaging three or four of them at a time while ducking the attack of three or four others.

Brendan walked over to where Gabrielle was crouched, and dropped down next to her. "She's something, eh?"

Gabrielle could not tear her eyes from that whirling figure. She could almost feel Xena's heart beating, and she could see the deep shine of passion in her eyes as she moved past. "Wow."

"Aye." Brendan agreed softly. "I've seen swordsmasters the world over, I have. But none have ever touched her." He pointed. "See that?"

If it was attached to Xena, Gabrielle considered it seen. She didn't really pay that much attention to anyone else around the queen. "What?"

"See that move? She changes direction in less than a thought. Y'never know where she's coming from."

And wasn't that true? Gabrielle nodded slowly. "It's... beautiful." She whispered, almost able to push aside the true reason behind the beauty Ð the brutal deadliness that rendered that clean, silver blade rust red and gory driven by Xena's inimitable will.

It was a paradox.

Xena leaped into the air, incredibly, tumbling into a somersault as she continued to meet the men's swords and then landing neatly on her feet only to drop to one knee meet the conjoined clash of three blades coming right at her head.

She laughed, and surged upward, throwing the men back.

Gabrielle caught a glimpse of some motion behind the men, and she looked across the yard, spotting the colorful silks of several nobles who were gathered on the far side, watching. She nudged Brendan in the ribs, and pointed a finger at them.

"Aye." The old soldier said. "Time for em to see again what she is. Been too long locked up in that tower, she was."

Gabrielle thought of that lonely figure she'd seen in the early dawn, covered in sweat from a battle waged between the queen, and her own shadows.  She wondered why Xena hadn't come down here, to these men who so obviously worshipped her, who shared her love of this deadly art.

Why had she closed herself off, from even this contact? And why now was she coming back out into the light?

Gabrielle looked up, and found herself looking right into Xena's eyes, as the queen peeked over at her to see if she was watching. She grinned at her, and got a grin in return, and then Xena went back into the fray.

"Hasn't lost a step." Brendan sighed. "Wish that I could say so."  He pushed himself to his feet with a groan, and headed towards the fray with a shake of his head.

**

Xena finished playing with her men, deciding next to do a little set of complex sword drills just to show off.  She liked showing off. It helped, of course, that she really had something to show off with Ð banging yourself in the head or tripping would just be embarrassing.

Xena never hit herself in the head, or tripped in public if she could help it so she felt comfortable in her circle of admirers as she went through some of the advanced moves she'd invented out of need and a bit of boredom stuck in her tower late at night.

If you had no one to spar against, you had to come up with some other way to keep your skills sharp, didn't you? Besides, she was having fun watching Gabrielle's face as the slave watched her show off, glad the girl was getting to see the other side of her martial prowess, the one that didn't involve dead people and huge quantities of blood on the floor.

It was a skill, a skill she'd worked very hard to acquire, and one she was very proud of.

Xena danced backwards to a post, which had strips of cloth hanging from it. She detached one and tossed it up in the air, then she whipped her sword up and traced an impossibly small pattern right through the fabric, tightening her wrists and concentrating as hard as she could.

Her blade was only a blur. Then she dropped her arms, releasing one hand off her sword hilt as she twirled the long weapon with the other and caught the fabric as it floated down near to her knees.

She held it up.

It looked like a lace snowflake. Xena waited. After a stunned pause, the circle of men let out wild cheers and hoots. The queen strutted over to the wall and dropped the bit of cloth on Gabrielle's head, where it draped neatly, one corner drifting down over her nose and the holes allowing her green eyes to peek out. "There."

"Wow." Gabrielle blew out, puffing the fabric up a bit. "That was awesome."

"I know." Xena turned and waved her sword at the men. "C'mon, get moving. You damn well need the practice if you can't keep up with one old ex warlord." She watched them sternly until they took up arms again, waiting for the clash of swords to float over the yard before she turned and slid down the wall to crouch next to Gabrielle with her hands clasped on the hilt of her sword.

Gabrielle moved the fabric aside so she had a clear view of her queen. Xena's skin was flushed and covered in sweat, her dark hair was plastered down over her forehead, and still, she looked totally gorgeous to the slave's admittedly biased eyes. "Hey, Xena?"

"Yeeeesss?" The queen drawled, giving her a little grin.

"Can you teach me to do that?"

Xena's dark brows creased. "Do what?" She glanced at her sword hilt. "This?"

Gabrielle nodded. "It was like magic."

The queen stared at her sword for a moment, then looked back at the slave. "No." Her voice took on a gentler tone at the frown on Gabrielle's face. "You don't want to learn this, Gabrielle."

"Yes, I do." Gabrielle objected.

"No." Xena lifted a hand off her hilts and put it on Gabrielle's shoulder. "Listen." She paused. "You pick up one of these, and you become a target."

Gabrielle rubbed her scalp, then looked at the queen. "I already am a target." She replied, softly. "I want to learn how to fight, like they do." She indicated the men.

Xena leaned her sword against her chin. She pondered for a while, her eyes following the moves of the soldiers fighting in front of them. "Gabrielle." She finally turned to the slave. "I'll protect you."

"I know you will." Gabrielle marshaled her arguments. "But I want to know how to protect you."

The queen's dark eyebrows both lifted sharply.

"Well, you never know." The slave's lips twitched into a rueful grin. "Please teach me."

Xena frowned, finding the suggestion intensely unappealing. However, she had to admit that Gabrielle did have a bit of a point, since Xena couldn't be around her *all* the time.

Could she? Hmm. The queen mused. "Not this." Xena folded her hand around the sword hilt. "You're too small, for one thing, and... if you take this up, you need to be able to use it." Her eyes bored through the slave's. "Can you do that, Gabrielle? Stick this up to your elbow in some guy's fat gut and let blood run out down your arm?"

Gabrielle winced.

"Uh huh." Xena snorted. "I'll see if I can think of something else you could try."

Gabrielle sat down cross legged. "Like that?" She pointed at one of the soldiers, who had taken up a spear and was charging a fellow with it.

"I was thinking more along the lines of a stick."

"A stick?"

Xena nodded.

"That doesn't sound very dangerous."

The queen's lips curved up. "Wait and see." She polished her sword blade on the side of her tunic and sheathed it with a soft chuckle. "Wait and see."

**

"Bring dinner to my chambers tonight." Xena pointed her sword playfully at Stanislaus as she passed him in the hallway. "Household packed yet?"

"Packed, Majesty?" The senschal hurried over, with a puzzled look. "Are we going somewhere?"

"I told you before, Stanislaus." Xena frowned at him. "We're going on a royal tour. Before the snow sets in, I'm gonna visit every damn stronghold in the land."

"Told me, M..." Stanislaus took his time to frown in turn. "Your pardon, Mistress. I must have missed that."

"Clean your ears out." The queen advised. "I want a full troop and everything we'll need to travel ready by tomorrow. Move it."

The older man nodded, after a moment's hesitation. "As you wish, Majesty." He murmured. "Will you be heading to the north, or the southway first? There is much to do..." He now appeared worried. "Supplies to order... goodness..."

I did tell him, didn't I? Xena had to question herself suddenly. Oh well. Not like he was going to catch her admitting to being wrong. "Well, get on it." She growled. "Take lots of carts. I'll be bringing back lots of presents."

The seneschal scurried away, heading for the far door out of the tower and almost running through it. Xena let her sword rest on her shoulder and gazed after him, then she shrugged and headed for the steps.

A good day. She decided, as she took the stone stairs two at a time. She'd worked out with the men until far after mid- noon and then she'd visited the stables and wreaked havoc there for a while as she inspected the conditions of her favorite animals.

Why had they been neglected? The stablemen knew without question how much she cared for the beasts. Xena shook her head as she got to the top of the steps and entered the rotunda. Then she stopped. Had she been so absorbed with her solitary pursuits that the men had just gotten used to not having to have things just right? Slowly, she continued walking, letting her eyes run over the tall hanging tapestries as she reached the huge doors to her chambers. She stopped and let her hand rest on the door latch before she worked it. Yeah, maybe she had.

She pushed the door open and entered the inner corridor, closing the door behind her and looking around with fresh eyes.

The space was clean, yes, and spare. Gabrielle had, after all, had charge in here for several days before they'd become involved with each other. But the hall suddenly appeared drab and uninteresting to Xena, and she wondered why she'd always kept herself to these few, small spaces in the castle.

With a slight frown, she opened the outer chamber door and walked inside. She stopped just past the entry and gave the room the same once over, seeing the same bland plain-ness that she'd simply looked past before.The furniture was expensive and well made, the walls well kept, and the carpet immaculate save the odd tiny spatter of blood worked too far into warp and woof to get out.

"You know what?' Xena addressed the room. "This place is damned boring."

With a snort, she dropped her sword on the table and loosened the straps on her practice gear, scratching her collarbone as the itch of dried sweat made itself known. She fully intended on taking a bath and cleaning up, then having a little dinner before she engaged young Gabrielle in a night of rapacious sensual delight.

With a slight yawn, Xena pushed open the door to her bedroom with one shoulder and gazed at the bed and it's surrounds. "Yeah." She shook her head. "Boring. Gotta do something about this place."

Move, maybe, to one of the big suites in the main hall that the nobles all coveted. "Who should I kick out, hm?" She asked herself as she stretched out her shoulders, pausing as the ache of her recent injury arrested the motion. "Damn. Forgot about that." She eased her practice tunic down and turned her back on the mirror, peeking back to examine the spot.

The wound had closed, and now a thin, dark line was all that was left of it, with a pattern of bruises around it that were fading in and around her shoulderblade. Experimentally, she flexed her arm, and felt the tender ache as she pulled against the skin.

The ache annoyed her. However, she acknowledged that it could be a lot worse, and the wound was at least healing now. She'd worked hard all morning, and she supposed she could expect a little soreness as a result. Shrugging the tunic back on she turned and faced the mirror, noting with a wry grin the smudges of mud that dusted her cheekbones, giving her an even more rapscallion look than usual. She reached up and removed one smudge, then ran her fingers through sweat stiffened hair and studied the angular profile thus revealed. The men had enjoyed her presence, she decided. Not because they liked getting their asses kicked.... Well, some of them did, but anyway. Xena laughed silently. They were glad she was there because her presence indicated how important theywere they were her men, she was their queen, and the fact that she spent time with them marked them as special.

Which they were, she nodded at her reflection.Somehow, she'd let that slip over the last few years, and that, more than   anything, was what had given Bregos his advantage when he'd gathered men to him.

Bregos had understood her mystique, and had decided to replicate it. Without her being in the faces of the men he brought in, they gravitated to him as a source of power the same way Xena's men stuck to her.

Bregos.

Where was the little bastard? Xena suspected he'd been taken out of the kingdom to the outlands, to survive if he could and be nursed back into as much health as someone in his condition could hope for.

Which wasn't much, Xena knew.

"I should have killed him." The queen told her image.

"How come you didn't?"

Xena whirled, her instincts flaring before her eyes confirmed what her ears had already told her. She relaxed as Gabrielle entered the room, carrying something in a container. "What?"

"You were talking about Bregos, right?" The slave asked. "You didn't kill him... but everyone expected you to. I heard them behind me."

Xena took a step back, disconcerted at having Gabrielle practically sneak up behind her without the queen realizing. "How long were you out there?" She asked abruptly.

Gabrielle set her burden down and turned, her head cocking slightly to one side. "Out where?"

"The other room."

"I wasn't." The slave replied, in a puzzled tone. "I just came in the big door, walked across the outside room and came inside here, and I heard you talking."

"I d.." Xena stopped, and shook her head. "Never mind. What do you have there?" She pointed at the container.

"Petals." Gabrielle uncovered the dish. It was filled with colorful, very fragrant flower that released a lightly delicious scent into the air. "I thought you'd like them in your bath."

Xena plucked a petal and sniffed it. "Are you insinuating that I stink?"

"Um.. no.."

"Ah... I think you are."

"No, really." Gabrielle stepped closer and put her face against Xena's mud spattered tunic. She inhaled and looked up, her pale lashes fluttering slightly. "No stink."

Xena balanced the petal on the girl's head, and gave her a mollified smile. "All right then, bring the damn things in there and let's see if they work."She untied the straps on her clothing as she walked towards the bathing room.

Gabrielle lifted the bowl and followed her, setting it down and ducking around Xena to lean all the way over and roll the stopper into place before she picked up the first bucket of coolish water and dumped it in. "You don't want this hot?"

Xena leaned on the tub. "You make me hot enough. The water'd be overkill."

Gabrielle stopped in midmotion and looked at her, a flow of crimson tinting her skin with surprising suddenness.

"Now Ð tell me the truth. Were you trying to sneak up on me out there?" Xena ran the tip of her thumb over Gabrielle's heated cheek.

Gabrielle shook her head no.

"Honest?"

"I wasn't." The slave said. "Did I?"

Xena sighed. "Yeah. I can't remember the last time that happened." She admitted. "I don't like it. I depend on being able to know if someone's doing that."A little disturbed, she picked up a second water jug and dumped it in.

"Well." Gabrielle got a third bucket. " You were concentrating... maybe you were just thinking hard. I do that sometimes. I get so interested in a poem, or a bird, or..." Her voice trailed off as Xena stripped out of her tunic and stood before her naked. "Or.. um..."

"I get the point." Xena snorted.

"Yeah.' Gabrielle kept her eyes level and a tiny smirk appeared. "Me too,"

The queen looked at her. "What?"

Green orbs lifted innocently. "Nothing." She stooped for another bucket.

Xena sighed. "Maybe I'm just getting old." She tested the water, which was pleasantly cool to the touch. "Reflexes can't last forever, eh?"The queen picked up the bowl of flowers and dumped them in, watching bemusedly as they swirled in a wild pattern over the surface of the water. "Flowers in my bath, adorable slaves sneaking up on me... my quarters are boring Ð life is just going to Hades, isn't it?"

"Um."

Xena jumped into the tub and sent water and petals everywhere, swamping Gabrielle where she stood and leaving the slave dripping. She reached over and plucked a soggy petal from the girl's nose and grinned. "You're gonna practice sneaking up on me later, and we'll see if I'm losing it. Make sure you take your boots off."

Gabrielle blew the wet hair out of her eyes, and glanced down. "More than my boots."

"Oo. Naked sneaking. Even better." Xena started to scrub her arms, her humor restored. "It'll be a hot time in the queen's boudoir tonight." She flicked a handful of water at Gabrielle, who dodged.

Xena chuckled, leaning back and watching the floating flowers nestle up to her breasts.

She chuckled again.

**

"What do you think, Gabrielle. It's boring in here right?" Xena was flat on her back on the thick bearskin rug, the fire crackling merrily nearby.

Gabrielle half turned away from the fireplace, licking her fingers as she gazed inquiringly at the queen. "Boring?" She asked. "In here? With you here?" An incredulous tone emerged.

Xena's blue eyes twinkled at her, their clear shade muted to indigo in the low light. "Why, Gabrielle. You little sweet talker, you."

"Well." Gabrielle blinked at her. "It's true. If this room was six times the size, you'd still fill it with awesome." She reclined next to the queen and leaned on her elbow, watching Xena's dark lashes flutter as she reacted to the words. "Are you blushing?"

"No." Xena replied automatically.

"I think you are." Gabrielle reached up and touched the queen's cheek. "You're all warm."

"It's the fire."

Gabrielle daringly touched her fingertips to the queen's lips, not really surprised when Xena nibbled at her skin. "I don't think it's really boring in here, but I think you could have a place that was more like you."

"Ah." Xena ran her hand over the girl's bare thigh. "Yeah, maybe." She agreed. "Couple torture racks in the corner, chains hanging from the ceiling, a splash of blood or two on the walls... homey, huh?"

"Tch." Gabrielle decided to push her luck a little. Her apples were baking in the fire, sending a touch of warm cinnamon into the air and she breathed it in as she slowly lowered herself down, resting her head on Xena's belly and gazing up at the queen past the rise of her cleavage. "I think your rooms should have some of those big, colorful tapestries in it... with all those wonderful scenes, the horses, the trees.."

"The battles." Xena teased.

"The birds and flowers." Gabrielle responded. "And lots of pretty landscape."

The queen's lips quirked just slightly. She turned her head on the soft pillow behind her to look at the fire, then she returned her gaze to Gabrielle's face. "Tomorrow, you and I will go on tour of this rat trap, and we'll pick a new place. Then you get to decorate it. How's that?"

Gabrielle blinked a little in surprise. It hardly seemed a decision Xena needed her input on, but she was very pleased to be asked to be a part of it. "Okay." She smiled broadly.

"No ruffles." Xena put a fingertip on her nose.

"Never." Gabrielle shook her head solemnly.

"No lambs gamboling anywhere."

"Not even one?" The slave teased. "Oh, c'mon, Xena. I'll have them paint one in the darkest corner. You won't even notice him."

The queen chuckled softly. "You twisted my arm." She said. "But I get to name him." It felt very strange to be talking like this, sharing this particular decision with someone else the way she was with Gabrielle. Giving her the choice of where they would live.

They.

Us. Xena's thoughts went distant. There had never been an 'us' before. Even with Lyceus, with the closeness she'd had with her younger brother, it hadn't been 'us."

"Xena?"

"Hm?" The queen pushed the thought aside and looked down the length of her body.

"I was talking to Jellaus today, and he told me he could teach me how to be a bard." Gabrielle said. "I'd really like to learn that, too."

Xena remembered the previous night. "I'm not sure how much he could teach you, or how much he wants you to teach him." She remarked, with a smile. "But Jell's a good man. Get what you can from him."

"He likes you."

"Yes, he does." The queen admitted. "One of the very few people on this earth who does, without much reason for it. His father was the minstrel here when I took over."

"Oh." Gabrielle wondered what had happened to him. "Did he take over from him?"

Xena was quiet for a moment. "His father took a shine to Lyceus. They used him to lure Ly into the courtyard the night he was killed." She picked up Gabrielle's hand and held it, lacing her fingers through the girl's. "He killed himself when he found out what happened. I never blamed him, but it didn't matter."

"Oh."

"He was one of the few of the last regime who made the switch." Xena said. "I put Jell's mother on my rolls and made sure she was taken care of until he grew up, and she passed. Good people." She paused. "I didn't deserve them."

Gabrielle could hear the beating of Xena's heart, where her ear was pressed against the queen's belly. Xena's eyes lifted and met hers.

"I don't really deserve you. But there he is, here you are... " Xena's voice was soft and reflective, and now she half shrugged. "I've killed and hurt so many people I guess it really doesn't' matter what happens to me in this life anymore. My boat's going to bump up on Tartartus' shore anyway."

Never had Gabrielle seen someone look quite so alone as Xena did in that moment. "You don't know that for sure." She got out, her voice a little husky. "You have your whole life to live, Xena. You don't know the good you can do."

"People like me don't live long lives, Gabrielle." Xena told her. "If there's good to be done, it's you who'll do it. Not me. I don't do good. I just do what I have to, I do what it takes to keep me on top."

"I don't believe that." Gabrielle said.

"I know." The queen sighed. "Neither does Jellaus. You must be related."

Gabrielle eased up and sat, turning the apples before she laid back down. "Maybe we are, in a way." She said. "We both still listen to our dreams."

Xena let out a brief laugh. "I don't dream." She said. "You hear enough screams, you stop having them after a while." She drew in a breath, and looked around with visible discomfort. "We were supposed to be buck naked and covered in honey by now. What happened?"She complained.

Gabrielle curled her hand and rubbed the queen's belly with her fingertips in wordless comfort. Watching Xena's face, though, she could see the cool facade only come halfheartedly back up and she understood that she'd crawled a little further into the enigma that was Xena the Merciless.

She decided not to push it. "Well." Gabrielle kept her voice light. "I've got some honey, but it's in the apples and they're kinda hot."

"Ahh..." Xena relaxed slightly. "Kinky, but I'm not in to branding this year."She glanced towards the fireplace. "On the other hand, they smell good. Get em."

The slave reluctantly let go of her hand, and sat up to retrieve the goodies. She carefully eased the roasted apples into a wooden bowl and scooted back over to where Xena was reclining, bringing a spoon with her.

"Mm." Xena turned onto her side and drew her knees up, making a little pocket for Gabrielle to sit in as she curled herself around the girl. "What have we here?"

Gabrielle leaned back against her prestigious backrest and separated a spoonful of the apple, offering it to Xena invitingly. "Try it."

The queen leaned forward and took the bite off the spoon. She returned to her position and chewed it thoughtfully. "Huh."

"Well?"

"Awful." Xena pronounced.

Gabrielle gazed down at the bowl in confused dismay. She'd been sure the queen would like the treat, one that her mother had often made her and Lila on long, cold winter nights.

"That's so bad, I'm gonna have to make sure you don't get exposed to it." Xena reached over and snagged the bowl, pulling it toward her. "I'll just have to eat it all myself." She reached for the spoon. "Gimme."

"Oh." Gabrielle chuckled, handing over the implement and watching the queen attack her treat. "You're so funny sometimes."

"Keep it up, and I may give you some." Xena told her around a mouthful. She paused and looked up at Gabrielle, a definitely visible twinkle in her eyes. "Just kidding." She separated a bit of apple and offered it to the girl. "Here."

Gabrielle took it, then wriggled a little closer, resting her elbow on Xena's side as they shared the bowl, stilling their voices and letting the music of the fire steal it's peace over them.

She thought about what Xena had said to her, and she thought about what Xena had told her without words. She wondered if what the queen had said was really true Ð that there had been so much in her life that she'd done that was awful and violent that she was destined to spend her eternity in the searing flames of Tartarus.

Gabrielle didn't believe that. Looking at Xena's profile, there in the firelight, she could see the tarnished nobility in it, and she knew, darn it, she knew inside her that there was something good inside Xena that would come out if only the queen would let it.

The question was, of course, would she? Or would she let her own belief in her badness take away that choice from her?

No. Gabrielle decided. She just needs a little help.

Sticking her thumb into the warm apple, she removed it and dabbed a bit on Xena's nose, startling the queen. "Oo." She leaned over and gently kissed it off, then moved a little lower and gave Xena a kiss on the lips for good measure.

They both laughed, and Xena shook her head before she continued sharing the apple.

Just a little help.

And where, her conscience suddenly prodded her, will you be ending up, Gabrielle?

Gabrielle chewed a mouthful, as Xena's eyes suddenly lifted and met hers, and for the first time she felt something between them. Was it an understanding? She looked into the plainly visible soul gazing back at her and realized what ultimately happened to Xena and where she ended up really mattered to her.

Really.

"Got any extra honey?" Xena purred. "I can think of some other nooks I'd like to drizzle it in."

Really.

Gabrielle pointed at a small jar near the fire, and grinned.

**

It was late. Gabrielle stretched her arms out, savoring the sensual lassitude in her body as she stepped out into the rotunda just to take a little walk and think.She sauntered around the circumference of the big chamber, stopping frequently to look up at the thick hanging tapestries.

What scenes should they have in their new place? Gabrielle paused to study a battle depiction near the wide stairway, it's colors muted to browns and ochres by the fluttering torch light. There should be pictures of nice things, she decided. Seeing the horses all lined up looked very regal, but she knew the next thing that would happen would be that they charged towards each other and people and animals would get hurt and die.

Why celebrate that?

A nice tapestry of Xena's stronghold, surrounded by the pleasant, rich lands and the fertile valley below, she decided, would be better. She sat down on one of the austere, padded benches and looked across at the cubby she'd lived in not that long before.

Her life had changed for the better. There was no doubt in her mind about that now. Gabrielle leaned her head back against the cool stone wall, rubbing her hands up and down her bare arms as her sated body felt a deep contentment.She thought maybe Xena's had changed for the better too, and she wondered what the queen really thought about the two of them.

Them. Gabrielle felt giddily happy about being included in the queen's plans for a move. Not only included, but given the responsibility of picking things out for it. It gave her a sense of belonging to this odd partnership between the two of them, something that went past who she was, and who Xena was, and what their respective status was.

It felt nice.

Gabrielle yawned, then she pulled her knees up and gazed at the tapestries for a minute, gathering herself up to return to the queen's chambers where she'd left Xena finishing up the last of the apples after they'd taken a very long break that had ended up very, very messy.

From someone who had started with so little experience, she was rapidly becoming quite enamored with lovemaking. Gabrielle grinned wryly as she found herself wondering if she could coax the queen into another snuggle. Just the thought.... She closed her eyes.

"Gabrielle."

The male voice brought her head up as she looked sharply to her left to see Toris standing at the top of the wide staircase. "Oh." She remembered his words earlier. "Hi."

He crossed the rotunda and sat down next to her on the bench. "It's late."

Gabrielle nodded. "It is. I was about to go back inside. I think we'll have a busy day tomorrow."

Toris chuckled briefly. "That's true. The Duke has everyone running all over getting his horses ready for the royal tour. Are you going?"

"Yes. Are you?"

"I think so." He said. "Do you know which way we're heading? Or where we're going first?"

Gabrielle reviewed her knowledge. "No." She said. "Xena hasn't said. Why?"

"Just wondering if I need to pack my heavy cloak or wear it." Toris chuckled again. "To the south, it's an easy road and warmer. To the north, the mountains and an early winter."

"Oh, that makes sense." She smiled. "Wish I could tell you Ð guess we'll find out tomorrow."

Toris glanced around and half smiled. "That we will."

There was a little silence, then Gabrielle cleared her throat. "So... um...what did you want to talk to me about?"

Toris pushed his boots out a little, laying his hands on his well fitted leggings. "Things are changing." He said. "I wanted to say I was sorry about putting all that pressure on you before. It wasn't fair."

Ah. Gabrielle gave him a more friendly smile. "It's okay. I... I think you were just doing what you thought was the right thing. So was I."

He slowly nodded his head. "I still think I was doing the right thing."He continued. "I know you think you're in a good place, Gabrielle , but you're wrong. It's just a matter of time until she turns on you and I think you're smart enough to know that."

Gabrielle gazed into her memories, to that distant soul in those blue eyes peering mournfully out at her. "What makes you say that, Toris? You don't know her."

"I do." Toris whispered. "Better than you could ever imagine. Believe me, Gabrielle. It's true. She'll use you for her own pleasure until she's tired of you, and then you'll have nothing."

Was it true? Gabrielle could see that Xena's restless, impatient nature would and could tire of things, and it wasn't as though she had a lot of experience to judge anyway. "Toris?"

"Yes?" He eased closer, encouraged by the pensiveness in her voice.

Gabrielle turned and looked directly into his eyes. "Why do you care? Do you want to sleep with her, and you're jealous, or what?"

It was last thing he'd expected to hear, and his jaw visibly dropped.

"I mean, it's not like you know me, so what's your deal?" Gabrielle asked in honest curiousity. "Even if what you said was true, I'd be an idiot to turn my back on her, so what is it you're expecting from me?"

He stared at her.

"You listen to me." Gabrielle reached out and took hold of his tunic, pulling him closer. "I can't worry about the future, Toris. I can't change it. All I know is that right now, I want to be where I am, and if you try to mess that up I'm going to be really mad at you."

"Gabrielle." Toris exhaled. "I'm trying to save your life."

Gabrielle studied his face intently. "It's my life." She finally responded. "I'll risk it."

Shaking his head, he pulled himself free of her grip and stood up. "Has she beaten you yet, Gabreille? Tied you up? Amused herself by cutting you with her dagger? That's the kind of person she is. Are you?"

Gabrielle got to her feet and circled around him, heading for the queen's door. "Actually, we just finished having some roasted apples, and I think I'm going to see if I can talk her into a pillow fight." She paused at the door and looked back at him. "You're wrong, Toris. You don't know her at all. Not anywhere near how I know her."

She pushed the door open and slipped inside, closing it behind her with a solid finality.

"Blind fool." Toris exhaled, shaking his head sadly and heading for the steps. "Stupid little blind fool."

**

Gabrielle ran her fingers through her hair as she trotted through the outer chamber and entered the inner, it's air still lightly touched with the tang of cinnamon. Xena was sprawled in her big chair near the fire, her head propped up against her fist and her eyes lost in the flames.

She was dressed in just a plain shift, it's simple lines flattering her tall form, and her hair was unbound and draped over her shoulders.

Xena lifted her head and turned it as Gabrielle approached. "Ah.. there you are. I was going to start sounding the alarms in a minute."

Gabrielle settled on the rug next to the chair. "Why? Do you think I'd run away?"

Xena's face twitched slightly, and she tilted her head to one side. "N.. no." She said. "Thought maybe someone'd stolen you."

"I wouldn't run away." The slave told her.

"You wouldn't." Xena agreed. "It's coming on winter, and you're not stupid. It's warm and you've got three square meals a day here."

Gabrielle rested her head against Xena's knee. She felt Xena's hand touch her head, and the soothing sensation of her fingers lightly rubbing against her scalp soon followed. "Xena?"

"Hm?"

"Even if it was the middle of summer, and you only had hard biscuits to eat I'd stay here." She turned and looked up at the queen. "I want to be with you."

"Yeah?"

Gabrielle nodded. "Being with you makes me really happy." She watched the queen's face. "I really like you."

"Like me?" Xena's eyebrows hiked.

"It's different." Gabrielle circled Xena's leg with one arm and ran her fingers up and down the soft skin. "It's different from loving someone."

"It's being friends." Xena said, softly.

Gabrielle nodded.

"Ah." The queen admitted. "It's.. very different having a friend." She fell silent for a long time, as they watched the flames together. "But I think I like it." The queen finally whispered.

"Me, too."

"Even if your new friend is a homicidal maniac?"

The slave turned and gazed up at her.

"Well, I am." Xena drawled, her lips curling into a sardonic smile.

"You don't always have to be, do you?" Gabrielle asked. "Violence isn't the best way to fix things."

The queen sighed. "It's the fastest." She complained.

Gabrielle simply looked into her eyes.

Xena's expressive face twisted into a wry grimace. "Oh, all right. I'll think about it." She allowed. "Now that I've kicked some ass, and put the plotters in their place." Her fingers slipped lower and traced the outline of Gabrielle's face. "What the Hades. I'll try anything once." A pause. "Even a virgin shepherd. I'm on a roll this year."

Gabrielle's eyes closed as she nuzzled Xena's knee. She stroked the inside of the queen's leg, and heard a low, soft chuckle behind her.

So, it wasn't a big start, but it was a start. Gabrielle eased herself up and turned, sliding between Xena's knees and planting a delicate kiss on the inside of her thigh. She leaned forward as the queen laced her fingers behind her neck and put her arms around Xena's waist as Xena pulled her up to kiss her.

"Hmmm..." The queen breathed into Gabrielle's slightly open lips. "So far the roll is working out pretty damn nicely."

Gabrielle let the urge to be near her take over and she eased her hands under the light shift, feeling the warmth of Xena's skin against her palms as she lightly stroked her. Under that skin, muscles shifted, coiling and bunching as the steel under the velvet showed and Xena stood up, picking her up and cradling her as though she were a child.

Xena's strength was amazing. Gabrielle could feel how easily the queen lifted her, as Xena turned and walked towards the big bed, finding her way unerringly even though they were in the midst of a passionate kiss.

If Xena wanted, Gabrielle knew, she could do all Toris had told her and more to her.

She could. But would she? "X...xena?"

The queen launched them both onto the bed, leaping through the air and landing with her in a tumble of bodies and limbs in the center of the sheets. She rolled Gabrielle over and licked her collarbone, continuing up to nibbled her lips, then look down into her eyes. "Yeeeeesss?"

For a moment, Gabrielle studied the passion filled orbs above her, seductive and ready to take them both into ecstasy. Then she thought she had her answer, at least for now. "Are you a hedonist?"

"Aaaabsoltely." Xena slid her shift over her head and pressed her body down, brushing her bare skin against Gabrielle's. "Want me to teach ya that, too?"

"Uhn." Gabrielle wrapped her arms around Xena's back and pulled her closer, wanting to feel her body on every inch of her own. It felt so good she could hardly breathe. She slid her hands upward and stroked Xena's breasts as the queen went belly to belly with her.

"Um?" Xena nibbled her neck.

"Y.. yes."

"Thought that's what you meant. C'mere."

**

Continued in Part 15

Shadows of the Soul

Part 15

Xena was aware of two things immediately the moment she woke up. Firstly, she was alone, and that made her very unhappy. Second, it smelled like mint somewhere nearby. Cautiously, she opened one eye and identified the mint, present in steam that was gently curling up from a stoneware cup set on the table next to her pillow.

“Hm.”  Xena rolled over and stretched her body out, feeling the silken sheets slide over her naked body with a delicious tickle. She pulled herself upright to sit with her back against her stack of pillows and retrieved the cup. Sipping from it, she discovered there was not only mint, but honey and a touch of orange, and she decided she liked the combination.  Beside the cup, there was a small plate of sliced fruit, and she nibbled on it while she allowed herself the luxury of a leisurely wake up.

It was definitely a luxury. Her habit was to get out of bed at the crack of dawn, bathe, dress, and review what issues faced her for that coming day.  Sitting here propped up against her fluffy pillows, with her cup of tea and her fruit plate, she damned well almost felt like a queen.

She had no doubt where the morning goodies came from. The gesture had Gabrielle written all over it, though she found herself once again shocked by the idea that the slave had come in and out without her waking.

What was up with that? Xena had to wonder. Was she really losing her edge, caught in this whole being in love thing, or was Gabrielle just that quiet?

She wiggled her toes under the covers, making the fabric ripple. Maybe it wasn’t so much that Gabrielle was stealthy. Maybe she was just very, very distracted.

“Hey, Xena!” Gabrielle bounded into the room, her green eyes alight with sparkling interest. “What a beautiful day!” She came over to the bed and dropped to her knees, laying her hands on the sheets next to the queen’s thigh.

I absolutely did not hear her coming.  Xena realized with a sense of utter shock. She wasn’t trying to sneak anywhere. “Hi.”

“All the nobles just left.” Gabrielle told her. “Stanislaus said they were all rushing home to welcome you on your tour.”

“Uh.. good.” Xena gathered her composure, drinking some of her tea as she watched her slave’s face. “That means we can go pick out our new pleasure den, eh?”

Gabrielle grinned, with a touch of bashfulness. “Did you like your tea?” She asked, softly. “I wasn’t… I mean, I knew you’d wake up pretty fast so I thought you might like something hot all ready.”

“Been up long?” Xena asked casually.

The slave shook her head. “No, I just put this here, and then I walked out onto the wall – I saw all the wagons leaving so I watched them for a little while.”

“Left the outer door open?”

Gabrielle nodded. “I didn’t want it to slam and wake you up.”

Ah. Okay. Xena felt a lot better, since a glance down showed her that Gabrielle was barefoot and therefore not hearing her crossing carpet through two open doors didn’t necessarily mean she was all that decrepit. “You’re sweet, y’know that?”

The green eyes twinkled shyly.

“And you make a good cup of tea.” The queen added, toasting her with it. “Listen. I’ve been thinking about what the Hades to call you.”

Gabrielle glanced around and then back at her. “Gabrielle?” She inquired. “It’s not that bad, is it?”

Xena reached over and tweaked her nose. “I said listen, not talk.” She said. “Adorable, yet saucy love slave ain’t really the title I want to hear the guards announcing you as, much as I personally agree with it.”

“Oh.” Gabrielle considered that. “Yeah, that’s kind of.. um…”

“Mm. So we have to find something else for you to be.” Xena said. “Tell you what. I’ll think about it while we’re on our royally majestic rape of the countryside, and we’ll get you settled when we get back here.” She decided. “Now, you’re not going to run off on me while we’re out there, are you?”

Gabrielle gazed at her with a poignantly hurt expression.

It disturbed Xena more than she would ever have imagined. “Just kidding.”

“You weren’t, were you?” The slave spoke quietly. “You really do expect me to just run off as soon as I can, don’t you?”  She got up and walked slowly away, ending up near the window. “Do you think you need to buy me off with some title? That I need some reason to stay here?”

Xena took a breath, finding herself unprepared to deal with the situation. “Yes, I do.” She fell back on honesty. “I want to give you ever reason there is to stay here and if that includes buying you off, I will.”

Gabrielle turned and just looked at her for a very long moment, her face a mixture of sadness and understanding. “You don’t think you’re reason enough?”

Honesty won out again, somehow. “No, I don’t.” Xena replied quietly. “But that’s all right.”

The blond woman crossed back over to her and sat down on the edge of the bed. “It’s not all right for me.” She said, and then she fell silent for a few breaths. “You think I’m lying.”

“I didn’t say that.” Xena felt slightly overwhelmed by this sudden emotional development.

“Yes, you did.” Gabrielle whispered. “Because I told you you’re the only reason I need, and if you don’t believe that then you don’t believe me.”

Xena put her cup down and scrubbed her fingers through her hair. “Gabrielle.”

“I don’t know how to love someone for personal gain, Xena.” The girl interrupted her. “I haven’t learned that yet, and I’m not sure if I want to…mpfh.” Gabrielle’s eyes widened slightly as her mouth was covered by one of Xena’s powerful hands.

Xena leaned close to her. “I believe you.” She enunciated carefully.

Gabrielle’s eyes watched her over the edge of Xena’s thumb.

“You gotta be patient with me, Gabrielle.” The queen told her. “You’re a damn new experience in my life, and it’s gonna take some getting used to. Got me?”

The eyes softened.

“And I know I’m a new experience in your life, so just take it easy.” Xena added.

Gabrielle nodded.

Xena removed her hand, then used it to ruffle the soft, blond hair. “I don’t want to think you’ll run off, okay?  It’s just all I’ve ever known. Everyone’s got a dagger, pointed at my ass.”

“I know.” The slave exhaled softly. “Why should I be any different, huh?”

Exactly. Xena almost nodded. Why should she? The queen lifted her eyes to Gabrielle’s, and found them captured by the tears welling unspilled she found there. “Gabrielle…”

“Darn it, I am different.” The blond woman uttered. “Don’t tell me I’m not.” She blinked, and the tears trickled down her face. “I could have run off twice now, and I didn’t. How many times does it take, Xena? Before you admit I’m telling the truth?”

The queen felt suddenly very exposed, as though her heart were beating on the outside of her chest inside of the inside of it. “I think you.. are.” She found the words very difficult. “I.. think you…  I think you’re telling the truth.” She finished awkwardly. Annoyed with herself. “I just…”

“Just?”

Xena wanted to get up and walk off. Unfortunately, Gabrielle was pinning the covers in place and she’d have to chuck the girl off to do it, and somehow, though she wasn’t the most social of people, she didn’t think that would help the situation.

At all.

“Gabrielle, I said I believe you.” Xena stated firmly.

“You really do?”

“Yeah, I really do.” The queen repeated.

Gabrielle studied her face intently. “You mean.. you believe that I love you with all my heart, and I would never leave you?”

In the sunlight, the blush was impossible to hide. Xena felt it warm her face and she saw it reflected in the change of Gabrielle’s expression as she saw it. She took a breath, and then another.

Never?  There had never been a never before. It had always been her choice, frivolous interests to be tossed aside at her whim, impermanent and fleeting.  Gabrielle was very young, but Xena had an odd, sneaking suspicion that this never thing wasn’t just careless words from a young mouth.

So many people had pledged to her. Only a very few had meant it.

Did Gabrielle mean it? Xena looked cautiously into the gentle green eyes watching her. She wanted to put a caution into this, to deny commitment, to step back and away from the intensity of what she could see in that look.

And yet.

And yet, she wanted this. Gods, she wanted this. Xena knew the risk of opening up that space inside her, but she also knew if she unlocked that long locked door and peeked inside, she’d find Gabrielle already in there looking back at her. “Yeah.” She finally answered.

Gabrielle wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and sniffled. “I’m really sorry.” She said. “I didn’t meant to get all.. um..”

“Yeah.” Xena threw an arm over her shoulders and pulled her over until they were laying together in the middle of the bed. “You’re all wet. Good thing I like em that way.” She was feeling more than a little unsettled by the events of the last few minutes and figured a little hugging might go a long way towards fixing that.

Gabrielle snuggled right up to her and obliged, putting her arms around Xena and giving her a healthy squeeze. “I know I must sound… I mean, I know you must have heard all this before all those people promising you everything and all that but..”

But you’re the only one it hurts too much not to believe it from.  “Yeah, well – let’s drop the subject, and just get moving.” Xena said. “We’ve got rooms to pick, places to go, people to terrorize.. no time to be wasting here.”

She didn’t release Gabrielle for a long moment, though. Maybe it was just that feel good hug thing.  Finally she gave the rising sun outside an evil look and released her hold, swatting the blond woman lightly on the butt to get her moving. “Let’s go make trouble.”

Gabrielle scrambled out of the bed and stood, retrieving Xena’s robe from where it was draped over the chair and returning to her with it. She held it out as the queen emerged from under her covers, peeking over the top when it wasn’t taken.

Xena was standing there, with her hands on her hips, both eyebrows arched as high as they could get. “Something wrong with the view, you need to cover it up?”

With an abashed look, Gabrielle folded the robe over her arm contritely. “Um.. no.” She said. “It’s just that the windows are open and I thought you might be cold.”

“I.” Xena sauntered over and kissed her. “Am never cold.” She winked at the smaller woman, then circled her and strolled towards the bathing room, pausing to glance back over her shoulder and smirk before she disappeared.

Gabrielle blinked a few times, then exhaled.

Somehow, she decided, she’d show Xena just how much she’d meant what she said.

Somehow.

**

“This one?” Xena put her hands on her hips, now adorned with a brilliant scarlet knee length surcoat and thick black leggings tucked into her riding boots.  She was standing in the middle of a huge room, with an arching, soaring ceiling that extended to a ring of leaded glass windows.

It was full of light, the sun’s brilliance poured in and reflected off the marble tile floor and the teak paneled walls.  “Gabrielle, I could ride a horse in here.”

The blond woman turned from where she was peering out the windows, which opened up on a large grassy lawn in front of the stronghold. “You sure could.” She opened her arms and turned around. “Look at this place, Xena! It’s great! Can you imagine the sun setting through those windows, and the stars! You could see the stars!”

Xena sighed. “It’s oversized, over decorated, and obnoxiously ostentatious.”

Gabrielle cocked her head. “Is that good or bad?”

The queen produced a rueful grin. “You’re ruining my fun, muskrat. I wanted to toss some fat assed stuffed horse head out of his favored quarters. This place hasn’t been used since before my time.”

“But.. it’s beautiful.” Gabrielle protested. “And it’s going to be great – we could dance over there, near the window!”

“We could do something else over there by the window.” Xena suggested with a smirk. “That’d spook the gardeners.”

Gabrielle put her own hands on her hips, and sighed. She was wearing a thick blue overtunic, belted around her waist with plain tan leather, and dark leggings.

The queen made a show of stalking around the room and inspecting every corner, grudgingly admitting the open space did good things to her sense of personal comfort. It was also quiet, and the front set of rooms featured a guardable forecourt so her sense of security was also mollified.

She could, in fact, even ride a horse in here.

“Xena!” Gabrielle’s voice echoed from the next room. “C’mere and look at this!”

The queen strolled over to the doorway and eased her head around the corner. Her eyes widened, as she spotted the huge, sunken marble bath with it’s ornate golden piping. It was grotesquely outrageous, and she immediately loved it. “All right. This’ll work.”

“Wow… I think it’s deeper than I am tall!” Gabrielle was hanging over the side.

“Ah. Knee level, eh?” Xena chuckled.

“Xena, I’m not that short.” The slave turned and gave her a look. She walked over and stood next to the queen, touching the top of her own head and extending her hand over to Xena’s neck. “See?”

Xena rested her forearms comfortably on her slave’s shoulders. “All right. You picked a good room, even if I don’t’ get to throw anyone out. I’ll tell Stanislaus to get this place ready while we’re on tour.”

Gabrielle’s face broke into a sunny grin.

Xena smiled back at her. Then she straightened and turned, sliding her arm over Gabrielle’s shoulders. “Let’s get moving. I want to be halfway to the mountains by dark before we make camp.”

“Does that mean we’re sleeping outside?” Gabrielle asked, curiously.

Xena gave her a rakish grin. “That’s right, but only you and I know it right now.”

She guided the way back into the larger chamber and crossed it, pausing in the very center and stopping.

“What’s wrong?” Gabrielle asked.

“Nothing.” Xena regarded the tall ceiling.

She looked around, then she dropped her arm to her side and sucked a deep breath into to her belly. Opening her mouth, she let her eyes close as she sang a pure, clear note – no words, just a round, beautiful sound that filled the room and reverberated off almost every surface.

Xena let the sound fade as she ran out of breath and closed her mouth, licking her lips once or twice and listening to the echoes dissipate. “Hm.” She glanced to one side, almost breaking into a laugh at Gabrielle’s slack jawed expression. “Not bad.”

Whistling, she strolled out of the room, leaving Gabrielle standing dumbfounded behind her.

**

It was cold enough to see her breath in the air. Gabrielle pulled the edge of the plain, but thick cloak Xena had slung over her shoulders closer around her.  She was on a horse by herself, just behind the big black horse Xena was riding.

The touring party was larger than she’d imagined, scores of Xena’s soldiers surrounding them along with an additional two score servants, horse tenders, and other workers.  Gabrielle found it hectic and confusing, but in it all Xena sat completely at ease on her mount with her own, beautifully lined cloak draped over her tall body.

They had gathered at the front of the stronghold, and now they were just waiting for the queen to give the word to start out. The soldiers were all in their black and gold livery, and Gabrielle almost regretted not wearing hers, but her blue outfit was warmer and she figured she could change into it when they were visiting the nobles strongholds.

In the meantime, she had this horse to deal with. She hadn’t figured on having one of her own, and since she had exactly one night’s experience in riding, she wasn’t really sure what to do with him.  He was, at least, thankfully smaller than the one Xena was riding so her legs didn’t have quite so far to reach and she felt more comfortable on his slighter frame.

He also was sort of cute. He had a longer coat of hair, and it was a mixture of white and reddish patches. There was a thick, bristly bit of hair that stood up on his neck and he seemed very friendly. Gabrielle decided she liked him. “Xena??”

“Eh?” The queen half turned in her saddle  and looked down.

“What’s his name??” Gabrielle indicated the horse.

“Shortie.”

Gods,  the woman just loved to tease her. “Xena.”

The queen chuckled. “I don’t know. I just asked them to find me a pony as cute as you were.” She studied the animal. “They almost got it. Name him whatever you want.”  She turned to resume her discussion with Brendan.

A pony. “Is that what you are?” She asked the animal. He flicked his ears back in her direction, and shook his head. “How about if I call you Patches? Is that okay?” Her fingers sorted through his mane and stroked the thick coat on his shoulders. “Patches the Pony?”

Patches snorted. Gabrielle took that as a yes, and now that she’d taken care of that important piece of business, she took hold of the reins and tried to imitate how Xena used them.  The queen held hers between the fingers of her right hand, and she sat in her saddle as thought she were perched on the most comfortable of seats, her body totally relaxed.

Gabrielle only wished she were half that at ease. She pulled Patches head a little to the right, and nudged him with her knees, gratified when the animal considered her request and then complied with it.  Right. She had her bag strapped behind her, she had her cloak tucked as much around her body as she could, and she more or less thought she knew how to make the pony go.

She was ready.

“Majesty, we’re all set.” Brendan had turned his horse aside to talk to one of the wagon drivers, and now he turned back to them. “Which way shall I tell them to go?”

Xena neatly guided her stallion forward, the men parting before her as she made the big animal dance. She got to the front of the royal ensemble and touched the horse on the side with her heels, making him spin in place so that she faced them.

Her cape swirled with her, settling over her body like a living thing as she half stood in her stirrups.

Spontaneously, the men all let out a roar. Then like a rising tide, they started chanting her name.

Xena let it go on for a few minutes, grinning as she reveled in the adulation. Then she lifted her hands, stilling the shouts as everyone leaned forward to listen to her. “We need to get moving.” The queen said. “Brendan, start the troops forward. We go north!”

“Sheeps hooves, it figures.” Brendan sighed wryly under his breath. “Never takes the easy road, does our Mistress.”  He tugged his cloak a bit closer and let out a whistle. “Y’heard her Majesty! Get!”

The soldiers sorted themselves into two columns and started down the road, passing by Xena on either side and bowing to her.  Behind them, the wagons would move, and behind them, the servants and a contingent of castle guards to keep an eye on everyone.

Xena waited for the last of the soldiers to pass her, then she turned her horse and motioned to Gabrielle to come forward to join her.

“Okay, Patches. Let’s go.” Gabrielle nudged her mount, glad when he got the idea and ambled forward towards the queen. “Let’s go have a grand adventure, and bring back lots of great stories.”

“What was that?” Xena asked, as the blond woman came even with her and she started her own horse moving.

“I was just telling Patches here…”

“Patches?” Xena snickered.

Gabrielle maintained a dignified look. “See? Aren’t those white and brown patches?” She pointed at the horse’s side.  “Anyway, I was just telling him how much fun we’re going to have.”

Xena absorbed this. “He’s not sleeping in bed with us.” She stated. “I don’t care how cute he is.”

The slave burst into laughter.

Xena chuckled as well, after a moment. She tossed her hair out of her eyes and settled down into her saddle, watching the neatly aligned rows of soldiers with a contented eye. It felt good to be out on the road, out of that damn stronghold, feeling the wind blow hard against her body again.

This time she went forth as the master of all she surveyed, and damned if she wasn’t going to remind all of them exactly that. The fact that all her nobles had rushed off to prepare for her made her grin inside, and she was already planning on just how she’d torture the worst of them.

Bregos toads. They’d regret siding with him before she was through, she decided. She’d pile her wagons up to the top with everything they’d try to bribe her good graces with and make them pay for all the months she’d kept them in food and wine at her side while they plotted.

They would bow and scrape to her, and feed her men… Xena glanced to her left, where Gabrielle was quietly riding, her eyes peering around her with infinitely delighted interest. And they would bow to her consort, too.

Xena smiled. It wasn’t a particularly nice expression.

“Hey, Xena?” Gabrielle turned her head and looked up. “Your singing was amazing.”

“I wasn’t singing.”

“Yes, you were. I heard you.”

“That wasn’t singing.” The queen stretched her legs out in the stirrups, flexing her thighs and cocking an ear to catch the low murmur of conversation all around her. “If you’re really good, I’ll show ya what singing is later on.”

Gabrielle wriggled happily. “When we’re camping out? Wow..that’ll be great. All those stars, and you singing.”

Xena reached over and poked her in the shoulder. “You got a thing for stars or something?” She asked.

“They’re so pretty.” Gabrielle said. “And you can make pictures with them, sometimes whole stories.”

“Pictures?”

“Yeah, sort of like a game.”

Xena glanced around her, nodding in approval as the pace picked up a little. “Game? I like games.” She said. “You’ll have to show me.”

Gabrielle grinned. “Don’t worry. I will.”

The queen grunted in satisfaction. It was starting out to be a very interesting trip.

**

They rode down through the flourishing villages that clustered at the foot of the stronghold’s mount. On either side of the road, newly harvested fields stretched, the scent of scythed hay fresh on the wind. The sun was up past it’s zenith, and as they reached the first village, the roadside filled with curious townsfolk who gathered to watch them.

Gabrielle felt very strange, watching them. They were dressed not unlike she was, in good stout cloth and well cared for leather and she could feel their eyes on her as she rode past. What were they thinking? Were they jealous? Or pitying?  A pair of hazel eyes caught her attention and she turned her head, seeing a tall, dark haired young woman who bore a striking resemblance to Lila looking back at her.

It sent a chill down her back, and when the girl turned deliberately and walked away, Gabrielle felt the chill come around her and settle right in her guts.

The soldiers on either side of them kept their eyes forward, most of them riding with one hand resting on their swords, or on a crossbow hilt in a studied, casual manner. It wasn’t threatening, exactly, but Gabrielle saw the eyes of the crowd go to the men, then move away in some discomfort.

Near the edge of the town, a group of elders stepped out into the middle of the road, directly in their path. Gabrielle took a quick look at Xena, noting the expression of wary alertness that had come over the queen’s face.

Brendan, riding point, slowed to a halt and lifted his hand to the men behind him as he reached the impromptu road block, his horse sidestepping slightly towards the elders.

Xena held her own hand out at waist level. “Stay here.” She instructed Gabrielle, as she sent her horse into a trot towards the impending storm.

“She’s the queen.” Gabrielle informed Patches. “She likes to be obeyed.”

Patches flicked his ears at her.

“Yeah, I’m not really good at obeying either.” Gabrielle sighed, as she squeezed her knees into the horse’s sides and went after Xena. “That’s why I was always in trouble at home, Patches.”

“What’s this then?” Brendan asked, meeting the leader of the elder’s eyes. They were of an age, but from completely different worlds. “Her Majesty takes this road.”

The older man glanced over his shoulder and paled. “Aye… aye… we just wanted a word with her, if she pleases.”

“And if I don’t?” Xena asked, as she pulled her horse to a halt. “You looking to be road kill?”

There was an uneasy rustle in the crowd around the road, but Xena was used to that. “Well?” She asked, pinning the elder with a pair of icy eyes.

“M…m…m ajesty… “ The man stammered.

“What?” Xena barked.

“That’s  a really pretty box.” Gabrielle poked her head from around the tall black stallion’s hindquarters.

The queen turned with slow deliberation and gave the blond woman a stern glare.

“Th.. thank you, m’lady.” The elder looked gratefully at Gabrielle.

“Is it a present for her Majesty?” Gabrielle asked, trying not to look up.

“Yes! Yes!” The man nodded. “Your Majesty, we only wanted to show our appreciation for you with this small gift!” He edged timidly forward with the square item, a well tooled leather surface visible with some type of carved decoration on it.

With a barely audible sigh, the queen kicked her boots free of her stirrups and swung her right leg over her horses’ neck, sliding down off his back to land lightly on the road. Brendan pulled back to let her pass and she walked up to the elder, her head topping his by several inches.

He was shaking. Xena let him wonder what she was going to do until she figured his knees were about to give out, then she held her hand out and lifted her eyebrows at him.

Trembling, he handed her the box.

Xena studied it, turning it over in her hands. It had been painstakingly done, the leather pressed with carved images of interlocking leaves and fruit, surrounding a rather nicely done rendition of her royal crest.  She ran a fingertip over the surface, then glanced at the elder. “Nice.”

He looked like he was about to collapse.  Xena smiled at him.

He collapsed, sending up a puff of dust as his body hit the dirt.  Xena’s eyebrows lifted sharply.

The other elders edged forward hesitantly. “Ase?” The oldest woman quavered. “Are ye dead?”

The humor of the situation got to Xena. She chuckled, shaking her head as she turned around and walked back over to where her horse stood patiently, lengthening her stride the last two steps and leaping into the air.

She caught hold of her saddle horn with one hand and swung aboard, settling her legs as the horse snorted and half reared. “Get him out of the road before he gets run over.” She told the elders. “Thanks for the box.”

The village residents finally stirred from their utter stillness and started murmuring to each other. Two of the larger men went and lifted the old man up between them, carrying him off the road and out of the way of the royal party.

Xena tucked the box under her arm and whistled under her breath. Brendan got the signal and started the column up again with a clicking sound of his tongue. “All bow to ‘er Majesty!” He let out a yell, as the soldiers drew their swords and let out a shout.

The villagers wisely cheered along, some of the dropping to a knee as Xena rode past.

Gabrielle followed quietly along, watching the people watch the queen, glad Xena hadn’t turned down their humble gift.  Not that she thought Xena would – she’d noticed that she tended to like stuff like that, but she thought these people had really wanted her to have it as a symbol of their feelings towards her.

“Gabrielle.”

Ah. The slave urged her horse up a little, so that she was riding next to Xena. “Yes?”

“What part of stay and here wasn’t I clear about?” Xena asked. Her voice was cool, and Gabrielle realized her public disobedience hadn’t been welcome.

“Well.” She shifted a bit. “You didn’t say how long I had to stay there for.”

Xena turned her head and looked at her.

Gabrielle blinked innocently back. “I didn’t mean to get in your way.. I just wanted to see that box. It’s so pretty.”  She eased a bit closer. “I’m sorry.”

Xena drummed her fingers on her saddle. “I hate loopholes.” She shook her head. “Don’t do that in front of the men, Gabrielle.”

Gabrielle peeked at the soldiers around them. One of them peeked back at her, and winked. “Okay.” She agreed softly. “I know you don’t want anyone to get the idea that you might be nice.”

“Damn straight.” Xena said. “Especially not people who could be bought by the first half dinar carrying jackass who wants to cause me trouble.”  She tucked her reins back into one hand and half turned, searching for a place to put her new box.

“Want me to put that in one of the wagons?” Gabrielle asked.

“Yeah.” Xena handed it over. “Do that.”

Gabrielle took the gift and slowed her horse, waiting for the wagons to catch up as Xena went on ahead of her. Part of her knew the queen was right, but there was a larger part of her that was rubbed raw by the rebuke and she wanted a few minutes to settle herself before she rejoined the queen.

“She’s the queen, Gabrielle.” She sighed, as the wagon rumbled up to her. Two of the older servants were riding in the back and she handed over the box to them. “Could you put this with the queen’s kit, please?”

“Yes, m’lady.” The older of the two, a wizened woman uttered. “Tis a lovely thing.”

“It is, isnt’ it?” Gabrielle let her horse amble along side the wagon as she admired it along with the other servants. “Look at the way it’s stained…. Just beautiful.”  She smiled. “It’ll be the second prettiest box the queen has… she’s got a wooden one that she made herself that’s just amazing.”

“Herself?” The woman glanced a the tall, regal figure riding ahead of them. “Eh! That’s a wonder.”

Gabrielle followed her eyes and tried to put aside the hurt. “Yes, she is.” She squared her shoulders and gave the woman a smile. “Thanks.”

The woman ducked her head slightly, and Gabrielle left the side of the wagon and headed back to the front of the column.  She pulled Patches up a step or two behind Xena’s horse and leaned on her saddlebow a little, already feeling the unusual strain of riding on her legs and back.

The road was starting to incline up a little, and she amused herself by examining the scenery. Next to her Xena was silent, her eyes hooded and brooding as they rode along.

Gabrielle found herself watching Xena more than the passing terrain, after a little while, though.

They didn’t speak, and soon the road wound it’s way through another large village, this one bustling and full of activity. Banners were flapping over part of the inner square, and a snatch of music drifted to them as they rode towards it, exposing what appeared to be a festival.

“Ah, they threw a party and didn’t invite me.” Xena commented. “Bad manners.”

Gabrielle edged a little closer. “Um… I don’t’ think they knew you were coming.”

“Probably not.” The queen agreed.

Xena fell silent for a few lengths, then she turned her head and looked at Gabrielle. “How’s your legs?”

“Fine.” Gabrielle replied quietly, watching the approaching village. “Thank you for asking.”

The blue eyes studied her with a frown, and Xena sidestepped her horse over, about to reply. Then a sound made them both look up, and sent a rippled down the column of soldiers.

A scream.

“That didn’t sound like party games.” Xena muttered.

Another scream, and the thunder of hooves.   Xena drew her sword and called out to Brendan. “Trouble!”  She turned and pointed her blade at Gabrielle. “Stay here until I get back”

Gabrielle exhaled, and nodded.

“Good girl.” Xena settled her boots and rode through the men, taking the lead. “Let’s go!”  She urged her horse into a gallop, heading towards the now very audible furor.  “Yeahhhh!!!!”

The rest of the party gathered in the road, clustering together as the soldiers rode off, murmuring among themselves. Gabrielle alone sat in silence, her eyes on the rapidly disappearing horsemen.

Her hands flexed on the reins. The horse shifted under her, picking up her restlessness.

Staying here was wrong. She could feel it in her bones.

She could feel it in her soul.

The screams suddenly meshed with the sound of fighting. A horse squealed, the sound grating across Gabrielle’s nerves and causing her muscles to clench.

Patches bolted, obeying an unconscious will that overpowered a conscious one, galloping towards the sounds of carnage as Gabrielle held on for dear life.

But even so, her heart smiled in fierce triumph.

**

Xena felt the pleasurable rush of blood lust as she lead her troops over the small hill and down towards the village. She could see people running, stumbling, screaming… she could see fire ahead, a torched hut that sent a spiral of thick black smoke into the air.

It brought back memories just as dark to her, and she felt a yell erupt as her body remembered what it was like to set those fires, and send bodies tumbling from her screaming in fear.

As they thundered through the plain, sturdy entrance to the village she saw men on horseback, doing what she remembered doing so clearly in her dreams.

She picked out the biggest one and drove towards him, lifting her sword and leading her men into a battle on the other side of that dark coin.

For a moment, she felt a deep pang of regret that she’d left Gabrielle behind. She wanted the slave to see this, to see her defending this tatty little village so she could tell everyone how awesome Xena was.  Why had she left her?

Pure spite. Xena scowled, as she dismissed the thoughts, needing the time to concentrate on killing people. There would be time later to go back, and take Gabrielle to some quiet, private place, and talk about obedience.

The raider, in the act of splitting a man’s skull looked up and met her eyes.

The demon in her erupted, and as Xena lifted her sword and swung it at him the darkest part of her reconsidered, and was glad Gabrielle wasn’t there. “Die, you bastard!”  The blade slashed through his hastily raised defense and cut into his neck, sending his head careening off to one side as she used her momentum and her strength to cut through his backbone.

Her men rushed past her, descending on the raiders with yells of exultation.  Caught by surprise, the raiders barely had time to gather their defenses before Xena’s troops started gutting them.

Brendan took a man right off his horse with a pike thrust, then slammed the weapon backhanded into another raider rushing by holding a woman over the neck of his horse. The man yelled and ducked, but stayed on his mount and kept going.

Xena whirled her horse on his haunches and bolted after him. The big black animal she rode picked up speed very quickly, and she angled her course across the village to intercept the raider.  She laughed as she jumped her horse over an overturned wagon and her sword caught the bastard right above the ears.

The top of his head went flying one direction, his body in a second, and what little brains he had splattered over the side of the village stable his horse now frantically tried to avoid running into.  Xena took pity on the beast and, leaning over, caught the reins flying in the wind and pulled hard, yanking the horse almost bodily into a new course.

They slowed, and the girl on the animal’s back slid off onto the churned earth. She crawled under the horse and behind a trough as Xena released the other reins and turned rapidly to head back into the battle. She slapped the animal on the butt with her sword to get it out of her way and glanced down at the trough before she picked her next victim.

The girl’s eyes met hers for just an instant, wide and terrified, and in that one instant also profoundly grateful.

Xena felt a strange tickle down her back. Then she dismissed it and headed for a huge, bear like man who was engaged with two of her soldiers and besting them.  She could smell a good kill ahead,  and she let out a battle yell that brought the big raider’s head around to see what was coming and making all that damn noise.

He wrenched his horse’s head around and batted her men aside as though they were children, then let out a bellow of his own and spurred his animal hard towards her.

The challenge implicit in the motion stirred a wildness in her and she forgot about being a queen as the warrior inside her soul woke and breathed the cold, blood tinted air.

She clamped her knees down and leaned her body forward, reading herself as the raider bore down on her brandishing a huge ax he wielded in place of a sword. It was already covered in blood and he handled it easily as he swept it towards her.

Xena remembered almost too late that she wasn’t wearing her armor.  The raider was, thick plates of leather and brass that protected his upper body.  She released her reins and relied on the strength of her legs alone as she wrapped her other hand around her sword hilt and met his attack.

It was like trying to deflect a falling tree. Xena felt the strain immediately in her shoulders and she twisted her hands savagely as her blade caught on the hilt of his axe. The motion was just enough to slide the huge weapon just past her shoulder.

She let it go by and released one hand off her sword, raising it quickly and clenching her fist as she whipped her arm back and smashed it forward, catching him in the side of the head.

“Gah!” The raider bellowed in anger, taking wild backhanded swing at her.

Xena ducked gracefully and released one boot from a stirrup, lashing out and kicking him in the ribs as he thundered by.  He  yelled again in outrage, and she laughed, whirling her stallion on his haunches as he pulled up and turned to attack her again.

He drew a dagger and threw it. Xena ducked and twirled her sword, twisting her body and meeting his axe again as they closed. His greater weight lunged against her and she found herself briefly trapped, her strength against his as their weapons locked.

“Bitch!”  He spat in her face.

Xena locked her arm around his and evaded a slice from the axe by the skin of her teeth. She slugged him with an overhand punch, rocking his head to one side, and suffered a clout on the neck in return.

They separated and she wiped her hand on her leggings, shifting her horse sideways to get a better angle on him just as he surprised her by jumping out of his saddle and crashing into her, wrapping his arm around her as he tried to hack at her body with his axe.

Xena surprised him right back by not falling out of her own saddle. She got an arm between his legs and trapped her sword under one knee as she grabbed his neck with her other hand and hauled him up and over her body to fall to the ground on the other side.

Damn, he stank. Xena released her sword and grabbed it, then she kicked him in the head as he struggled to his feet. He absorbed it, then swung viciously at her with the axe, aiming for her leg. Xena leaned over and blocked the axe with her sword, twisting her body to help leverage the disadvantage she had on angle.

She got past him, but he came at her again, and she realized the weapon he had was too difficult for her to guard against from horseback. Accordingly, she jumped off and met him on the ground, intent on finishing this sloppy, annoying fight.

He roared with triumph and lifted the axe, bringing it down in an overhand chop that took good advantage of his height and would have split her skull if she’d been standing there to intercept it.

Unfortunately for the raider, she wasn’t. Xena sidestepped him gracefully and spun, getting her sword past his guard and catching him across the chest with it. Her weight put power behind the stroke and it cut through hide and plate and sunk deep into his breastbone with a crunch.

She wrenched her hands savagely, and the blade shattered bone as it came free. She whirled in the other direction and locked her arms as he started to topple, this time bringing the blade down on the back of his skull and fairly cutting his head nearly off his body.

He dropped.  Xena started to straighten and recover from her own momentum when she heard her name and her senses jangled a warning nearly at the same time.

“Duck!”

The warning held more information than her instincts. Xena dropped to the ground as she felt something big pass over her, a startling heat singing the hairs on the back of her arms as it passed. She tucked and rolled and found some clear space, getting to her feet in a crouch and regaining her bearings as a thundering crash resounded through the beleagured village.

Her eyes widened slightly as she saw the barn go up  in flames as a wagon full of raiders, their bodies fully engulfed in fire screamed and died as the wooden building almost exploded and caught.

Screams.

The sound of running as the remaining raiders, those few left alive, escaped through the smoke on panicked  horses or their own feet.

Xena put her back to the wall she’d ended up against and caught her breath, her eyes flicking everywhere and accounting for all her men.

Then she turned her head and located the source of her very timely warning, a clear, potent voice that had cut through the fog of war and captured her attention as few other things would have.

Gabrielle looked back at her, pale and frightened, a smudge of blood across one cheek.

She disobeyed me again.  Xena felt a prickle of something catch her in the gut as she realized the source of Gabrielle’s fear.

Her.  Well, Xena… you always said the only way to survive disobedience was to be right, didn’cha?

With all the chaos around her, Xena felt a sense of peace settle on her shoulders.  She exhaled as her men jumped off their horses and held her hand out to Gabrielle, palm up.

The villagers started to appear from hiding as Gabrielle broke into a run towards her. The cheers began to sound as the slave reached her, and Xena felt the double odd sensation of seeing grateful eyes turned on her and getting a fierce hug as her entire world dumped itself upside down.

What the Hades?  Xena looked back at the villagers, her eyes widening as one of them knelt at her feet.

“You saved us. The gods sent you.” The woman kissed her boot.

I was just having a good fight!  Xena’s outraged thoughts almost erupted in speech.

“That was awesome.” Gabrielle gave her another hug. “You were amazing.”

Wait a gods be damned minute!

“Thank you.” Another villager knelt at her feet. “Thank you, your Majesty.”

I was just having some fun! This wasn’t for any of you! It was just for me!  Xena opened her mouth to tell them all to get lost, and get the notion she’d done this for any reason other than idle bloodshed out of their minds.

But as the words formed, her eyes dropped to Gabrielle’s face and stuck there, and the breath merely trickled from her lips instead.

What in Hades had she gotten herself into? Trapped in a pit of half assed heroism.  The queen let out an aggrieved groan. Damn it.

DAMN it.

The Fates must be up there somewhere laughing their asses off at her.

**

Gabrielle dusted her hands off and leaned against an overturned wagon, watching Xena watching everyone else.  The queen was sitting on the back of her horse, on a small rise a little ways off. Very distinctly a little ways off, as Xena purposefully put some distance between herself and the activity of cleaning up from the attack.

She looked so quiet and remote sitting out there. Gabrielle leaned her chin on her forearm and wished Xena would come back over and let the villagers make a fuss over her again. She knew the queen didn’t like fusses, but she also knew that what Xena had done had been a tremendous thing for this small place, and it’s residents were overwhelmed by the fact that their queen had rescued them from certain disaster.

The soldiers and Xena’s servants were helping the villagers put things right now, before they started off again and the queen had escaped to her small hill to simply sit and watch, and maybe to reflect on what she’d done.

So cool. Gabrielle closed her eyes and let the pictures run inside her mind again, what she’d seen as Patches had carried her to the outskirts of the town and she’d almost run into the battle itself before she managed to get the horse stopped.

It had taken her a while to find what she was looking for – with the smoke and the screaming men and the running villagers she’d fairly been almost bowled right over. But she’d kept moving, tying Patches to a broken bit of wood and scrambling off him to continue on foot.

She’d been terrified. All around here had been fighting and death, and in it’s center she’d spotted Xena in a fight for her life  against a man so huge Gabrielle wondered if he wasn’t truly a giant of legend. The queen had seemed so slight against his bulk and yet she’d met his attacks with apparent ease.

Gabrielle’s heart had been in her throat the entire time. She’d flinched with every hit, and bit the side of her tongue when Xena had jumped off to fight the man on the ground.

There had been so much going on around her, she’d only seen the terrified horses bolt with the burning wagon strapped to them at the very last moment, and she’d just barely had the chance to call out Xena’s name and a warning.

In her mind’s eye, she could still see the rippling reaction of Xena’s body on hearing her voice, and the total lack of hesitation in obeying her warning.

Awesome.

Xena’s calling her over? Even more awesome.

Gabrielle smiled to herself, knowing she’d done good, and that the queen knew it. It was even enough, she suspected, to cause Xena to forgive her for not listening.

Again.

“Hello?”

Gabrielle turned her head, to see a young man approaching her hesitantly. He was a head taller than she was, but he had the same pale hair and his eyes were a softly twinkling gray.  “Hello.” She returned the greeting.

“You’re with the queen, right?”

“That’s right.” Gabrielle agreed, with a smile.

The blond man held up a skin that gurgled softly. “Do you think she would like a bit of a drink? It’s not fancy, just cider, but we’ve got some of the best apples in the kingdom.”

“Sure.” Gabrielle started off towards Xena’s hill. “C’mon.”

“Oh, ah!” The man stammered. “No, I aum… you… surely you could give it to her, right?”

The slave stopped and turned, gazing at him. “Don’t you want to?”

“Ah.”

“You’re not scared, are you?”

The man looked at Gabrielle, then his eyes went over her shoulder to the queen. He managed a wry grimace as he returned his gaze to her. “Yes.”  He answered, as though it should have been obvious.

Gabrielle followed his look, to see Xena glaring at them dourly. Or at least, it must have looked to the man like it was dourly. To Gabrielle it just looked like the queen wanted something. “It’s okay, I promise. Just come with me.”

The man sighed, but followed her timidly as she walked across the shattered ground. They circled the well, its cover lying in pieces and then started the slight climb up to the rise Xena’s horse was standing on.

Gabrielle tipped her head up and met Xena’s eyes as she approached, watching the queen’s lips twitch as she tried to muffle a smile.  She supposed it could look like a scowl, if you didn’t know her, and she patted her reluctant companion on the shoulder as they got closer.

“Yeeees?” Xena growled, as they arrived to stand next to her tall stallion.

Gabrielle stepped closer, and put her hand on Xena’s boot. “My new friend here has some cider, and he was wondering if you’d like some.”

The queen made a show of studying the man from head to foot with a steely glare. “Cider?”

“Y…yes… m..mm..mmm majesty.” The man’s teeth chattered as he spoke.

Xena licked her lips, and hiked an eyebrow. She lifted one hand and crooked a finger at the man. “C’mere.”

He seemed rooted to the spot, his eyes going round and wide and Gabrielle might have found it funny if she hadn’t remembered, belatedly, her own not in the distant past terror.  “It’s okay.” She released Xena’s leg and walked over to him, holding her hand out. “She won’t hurt you.”

Xena made a noise that sounded like a snort.

The man blinked at Gabrielle, but having little choice took her hand and allowed himself to be led over to the towering threat standing over them.  Gabrielle stopped when she reached her former spot and looked up again, gazing confidently up at Xena’s face.

Another twitch of the queen’s lips appeared, and Xena extended her hand again. “If you’re going to hand that over, do it now or I’ll kick you back to where you came from.”

Hastily, the man thrust the skin at her, with a visibly shaking grip. “H….here…. your Majesty.”

Xena accepted it and examined the sack, finding it well worn, though meticulously kept. “Yours?” She asked the man.

He nodded several more times than was necessary.

The queen unstopped the skin and sniffed it, watching him closely with cool, blue eyes. “Open your mouth.” She ordered suddenly.

His jaw dropped, achieving her purpose with unintended speed.

Xena squirted a mouthful of the cider into it with unerring aim. “Swallow.”

Almost choking, he did, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth and staring at her in bewilderment.

She waited, watching him lick his lips, and studying the look of confused concern on his face. After a moment she gave a satisfied grunt, and took a sip herself. The cider was cool and rich, and surprised her with it’s pleasant taste.

She rolled the mouthful around and swallowed it. “Not bad.” She complimented the man.

Still puzzled, he relaxed a bit. “Th.. thank you, Majesty.” He replied in a timid voice. “Twas a good harvest this year.” He added. “The trees were rich with fruit and the weather fine.”

“And you were at peace to harvest it.” Gabrielle said.

The man nodded. “Until this last moon, aye, we were.” He said.

“This happen before?” Xena asked, waving the skin at the destruction. “Why haven’t we heard?”

“It was just the last sevenday, Majesty.” The man seemed to be gaining confidence, apparently reassured he wasn’t about to be gutted by the intimidating figure on horseback. “They came down from nowhere, and attacked a merchant train down the road. We thought it was just a few bad sorts looking for supplies for the winter.”

“Ah.” Xena sipped on her cider. “Well, this band’s not going to bother you again.” She reviewed the stack of bodies nearby.  None of the raiders had escaped, much to her satisfaction. “You got some horses out of it, too.”

“Thanks to your majesty, yes.” The man said.

“Yeah.” Xena gave him a look. “Remember that.”  She cocked an eyebrow at him.

“We will!”

Xena flicked her fingers at him in dismissal. “Tell my wagon master I said to get a few barrels of this for the trip.” She indicated the skin. “Don’t overcharge him, or I’ll make those half baked cow heads who attacked you look like kittens.”

“Majesty!” The man backed off hastily, almost stumbling as he hit the ruts churned up in the ground from the horses. He scurried away, disappearing behind the shambles of the barn as they watched him go.

Gabrielle exhaled, and started to follow him.

“Hey.” Xena rumbled. “Where do you think you’re going?”

The slave stopped and looked back. “Um… to help?” She queried. “They’re trying to lift that part of the barn up. I thought I could…”

“Cheer them on?” Xena half turned in her saddle, throwing her leg over her saddlehorn and relaxing. “Let the boys flex their muscles. It makes them feel good.” She offered Gabrielle the cider. “Here.”

Not at all displeased, Gabrielle returned to the queen’s side and took the skin, taking a sip of the contents. “Wow.. that’s great.” She studied the spout, then looked up at Xena. “Should I have tasted it first, before I had him give it to you?”

Xena’s face stilled for a long instant. Then her shoulders relaxed just a trifle and she exhaled. “No.”

“No??”

The queen touched her cheek, after a quick glance around to see who was watching. “Last thing on this damn earth I want is for you to get killed by someone after me.” She said, a slight, husky note in her voice. “I told you, I can take care of myself, Gabrielle.”

Gabrielle looked at her, then she turned her head and looked at the burning barn, the remnants of the wagon that had almost ran over Xena embedded in the flames. Then she turned and looked back up at Xena’s face. “Okay.” She replied.

Xena glanced up at the barn. Her lips pulled reluctantly into a smile. “Right. Now that we got that settled. Let’s talk about how you don’t listen to a damn thing I say.” Her eyes studied the blond woman.

Gabrielle took a breath. “That’s not true.” She replied. “I listen to everything you say. You’re the most important person in my world.”

Xena blinked.

“It’s just that…” The slave continued. “Sometimes my heart takes over from my head and I.. um..…” A tiny shake of her head. “I guess I just do what comes naturally.”

The queen leaned on her thigh. “Saving my ass comes naturally to you?”

It was Gabrielle’s turn to blink, and she did. Did it? She tried to remember how she had decided to crash into the guard in Evgast’s tower, and she realized she hadn’t decided anything. One moment she’d just been hiding, the next moment she’d found herself bolting across the hall, arms outstretched, heedless.

So maybe it did come naturally. Certainly, loving Xena had. “Yeah.” Gabrielle finally said, softly reflective.

The queen unexpectedly tousled her hair and pulled her closer, leaning over and kissing her on the head.

Spectators be damned.

**

They didn’t quite make it to the mountains that night, even though Xena kept them moving until well after sunset. The stop at the village had taken too much time, and now they found themselves forced to make camp in a relatively isolated, exposed area.

Xena wasn’t happy.  She circled her horse around the small grove they’d finally settled in, checking out the thick forest that spread behind it down the hill. It afforded any amount of hiding for any amount of road scum and she wasn’t pleased about having to put that many guards on watch all night.

That meant they’d be useless the next day, when she anticipated traveling through one of the few truly wild spots in the kingdom, the high mountain passes that separated the capitol from the strongholds of the men most closely associated with Bregos.

It meant possible danger. Xena was no fool, however, and she’d selected this route deliberately to give the schemers the minimum of time for plotting before she descended on them. If she’d gone south first, to Lastay’s pleasant lands, the gods only knew what these bastards would have been up to before she’d headed north.

So making camp in the relative open didn’t make her happy. She had good men with her, but she also had servants and slaves, and most importantly Gabrielle with her as well.

The men, the servants, and the slaves were expendable.

Xena marked another spot for a guard outpost and turned her horses head towards the sounds of the camp. “C’mon, Tiger.” She patted his lathered shoulder. “I know I kicked your ass today. Let’s go get you rubbed down.”

The horse nickered at her. Xena chuckled dryly, stretching her back out from its mild stiffness after the all day ride.  She could only imagine how Gabrielle felt.

The thought made her pause. She tried to remember if she’d ever even considered how someone else felt on campaign before. Certainly, she’d expected her men to keep up with her, and anyone who couldn’t didn’t stay with her army very long.

No whining. Xena’s rule number one.  She’d run her kingdom the same way, and everyone traveling with her here knew it.  She didn’t care about aches and pains. Everyone sucked it up and just did their jobs.

Xena nodded. Right. Then she frowned, as her thoughts wandered again. So why was she imagining how Gabrielle was feeling, after the long day?  Could she even begin to imagine how Gabrielle felt, given how different they were?

Was bringing Gabrielle with her even a good idea?  Xena felt the unusual mixed emotions coursing through her. Was there really any place for her here with the army, even with the mess of servants in the train? She’d never had a body servant on campaign, would never even have considered having someone around her back then.

Gabrielle didn’t know what to do, or how to act… she was likely to just be in the way.  The queen exhaled, her fingers playing with a bit of Tiger’s mane. Why the Hades did I bring her?

Ah well. Too late now. Xena guided her mount into the camp and slid down off his back, giving the alert groom who ran up to her an approving nod. “Give him a bath, and a bucket of grain. He earned it.”

“Mistress.” The man ducked his head, as he took the horse’s reins. “He will be spotless.”

“He is spotless. If you wash him enough to give him spots, I’ll scalp you.” Xena replied. “Move it.”

The groom hastily led the big horse away.  Xena stood for a moment in the firelight, then she headed towards the pavilion raised on the high ground that was hers.  Surrounded by thick oaks, the tent was pitched with it’s flap faced to the fire, and already two of her men stood guard on either side of the doorway, spears resting in the crooks of their arms.

It felt good. The camp was laid out exactly how she liked it, Brendan’s memory apparently undimmed over the past seasons.  She approved of the order, the troops area laid out just so, and the servants in an inner, protected area.

Dinner was being made, and she could hear rough songs lifting from where the soldiers were bedded down. With a smile, Xena turned toward her tent. She walked up to the entrance and the guards saluted her.  One drew the flap aside for her and she grunted at him as she ducked her head to enter.

Inside, the scents of both camp and home assailed her. A small brazier was lit in the center of the tent, it’s wood chips lending a light, smoky touch to the air. On one side her bed was set, a structure of sturdy wood posts and hide slings, covered in thick furs. The other side of the room held her personal chest, with her armor and weapons.

Just how she liked it. “Hm.” Xena put her hands on her hips. “Nice.”

The roof of the tent was scarcely high enough to accommodate her inches, but it brought back memories of being with her army in the field, and those memories, though bloody and hard, were mostly good ones.  Xena sighed, and glanced down, noting the reed mats that had been put down on the ground. It was neat, and well ordered, and she was exceedingly gratified to discover that her men had not forgotten how she liked things set up.

Not that she really thought they would. Xena smiled to herself.

Soft footsteps behind her made her straighten and turn, watching the flap as it opened and Gabrielle entered with her arms full. “Ah. There you are.” The queen said, briskly.

Gabrielle managed a smile, blowing a bit of hair out of her eyes as she eased around Xena’s tall form and set her burden down near the brazier. She was limping noticeably, and she winced as she knelt on the mats. “Is everything all right? They said you were worried about where the camp was.”

Right at the moment, Xena found herself worried about something completely different. She crossed to where Gabrielle was and dropped to one knee beside her, putting a hand on her back and giving it a little rub. “We’ll cope.” She answered. “If I get enough bodies out there guarding.”

“Oh.” Gabrielle glanced at her, and gave her a tired smile. “Well, that’s really good to hear. I tried.. .” She looked around. “To get all your stuff ready.”

Xena looked at her. “You did this?” She indicated the room with her free hand.

The slave nodded. “Some of the guys tried to come in here and do it but.. um..I kind of chased them out.” She issued a light shrug. “I think they got mad at me.”

Xena found herself unable to come up with even the mildest smart remark. “They used to fight each other for the… ah… honor of setting up my tent.” She explained, with a touch of sheepishness in her voice. “I thought they’d…” She looked around. “Huh.”

“Oh.” Gabrielle also looked around. “Did I do okay?”

The queen spotted a clean set of clothes folded ready on the bed, and her soap and towel ready by a filled basin of water braced on a folding stool. “It’s perfect.” She murmured. “How did you know?”

The slave exhaled audibly. “Thanks.”  She set a small pot on the brazier and carefully poured water into it, over the things already inside. “I just… put things where I would  want them if I were coming home to some place like this after a really… really long day.”

Xena studied her.

“I know I’d want a nice bed, and clean clothes.” The slave went on. “A place to wash up.. you know.”

“Yeah.” Xena agreed softly. She watched the slave stir the pot’s contents. “Gabrielle, they’re making dinner outside.”

“I know.” Gabrielle put in a last handful of ingredients. “But it won’t be ready for a while.. I thought maybe you’d like some soup after you change until then.”

Xena looked into the pot, then she looked at her slave. “You like this stuff?”

Gabrielle hesitated, then nodded.

“You sore?”

“A little.” Gabrielle admitted, with a tiny, wry smile. “Not as bad with Patches.”

“All right.” Xena stood up, her battle plan settled. “Here’s what you’re going to do next.”

Gabrielle folded her hands on her knee and waited in silence. She was, in truth, exhausted and her body ached from head to foot. But the changes around Xena, the dynamics of the men, and the army, and the strange surroundings were making her fearful and nervous and she wasn’t about to complain to the queen about anything.

Xena extended her hand. “You’re gonna c’mover here and get naked with me so we can wash.”

Hm. Gabrielle’s ears perked up. She reached up and took Xena’s hand, and stood as the queen pulled her up. “Okay.”

“Then you’re going to… “ Xena leaned closer, catching the edge of Gabrielle’s ear in her teeth and lightly biting down. “Tell me where it hurts, so I can fix it.”

Oo. Everything else perked up, chasing away the day’s fatigue and worry. Gabrielle felt herself relaxing, understanding that so far, at least, she was doing things right. However, her conscience bothered her. “Don’t you have… um.. more important stuff to do? Like with the camp?”

“Yes.” Xena told her, sliding her arms around Gabrielle’s body and pulling her close. “And I’ll do them, but I’m an instant gratification kinda gal, and right now, I want to be gratified. Instantly.” She kissed Gabrielle on the lips.  “So get your clothes off, you little muskrat, or I’ll rip em off with my teeth.”

“But.. what about…”

“Shh.” Xena silenced her with another kiss. “We gotta work on that ‘I’m the queen and what I say goes’ thing.”

Gabrielle really wasn’t about to argue. After all, if Xena didn’t know what she was doing, who did?  She undid the buckle on her belt as Xena guided her over to the water basin she’d so recently filled. The queen’s hands slid over her body, fingers touching and gently massaging the sore spots on her back as she felt the shirt lifted over her head.

The strange sounds outside faded. Gabrielle slid the crimson shirt off Xena’s body and stepped closer, nuzzling her breasts as their skins lightly brushed. She heard the soft tinkle of water, then the cool touch of it on her shoulders. Her eyes opened, to see Xena’s, darkened in the firelight, watching her. “I think I’m supposed to be doing that to you.” She reminded the queen.

“I think you should just do what I tell you to do.” Xena rinsed the cloth and continued her task, removing the dust of their days travel and the soot from the burned village from Gabrielle’s pale skin.  The slave’s ribs expanded under her touch, but she didn’t answer.

Xena took her time exploring. She let her fingers travel over the bump on the blond woman’s ribs, and with their eyes locked, found herself curious about it once again. “What’s that from?”

Gabrielle’s expression became sad. “Someone kicked me.” She admitted in a soft voice.

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

Xena washed down the centerline of Gabrielle’s belly, noting that the almost painful concavity had started to fill in a little. “Was it someone you knew?”

“Yes.”

Xena rinsed out the towel again and carefully cleaned around Gabrielle’s neck, forcing the slave to look up at her when she scrubbed her jaw. “Tell me who it was, and I’ll go kill em for ya.”

Gabrielle’s expression was indescribable. “Would you?”

“Sure.” The queen replied.

The slave exhaled. “Well, it was a while ago, and there’s no point. He’s already gone.”

“Bummer.” Xena cradled her head, and tilted her own down to give Gabrielle a gentle kiss. “Sorry about that. Getting kicked isn’t any fun, no matter who does it.”  She guided Gabrielle’s hand to a place on her own side, tracing a spot where there was a depression in the bone of one of her ribs. “Feel that?”

“Yes.” Gabrielle stroked the spot. “Did you get that fighting?”

“No.” Xena “That’s from a goat.”

The slave smothered a surprised laugh. “Really?”

“No.” The queen wiped off her face, dampening the fair hair with the water. “But I figured it’d make you laugh.”  She admitted. “I got kicked in the gut by some guy in Cortese’s pits, after I first got captured by him. Hurt like Hades.”

“Yeah.” Gabrielle looked up at her. “It does.” She touched the spot on Xena’s side. “But you get over it.” She leaned forward and kissed the skin there, her hair brushing the underside of Xena’s breast.

Xena inhaled, as her body reacted.  They were both standing there in only their leggings and boots, and she suddenly had a mental image of what would happen if someone were stupid enough to open the tent flap.

It made her laugh, with sudden and explosive force.

Gabrielle glanced up at her, then experimentally tickled her on the side, near the spot.

Xena laughed again, this time for a totally different reason. “Hey!” She caught Gabrielle’s hand. “Save that for later.” She instructed. “Turn around.”

Obediently, Gabrielle did

The queen washed across her shoulderblades, seeing for the first time the faintest traces of thin, diagonal scars, old and very faded with time.  With a slight frown, she put the towel over her shoulder and applied her hands instead, working her fingers over the tense muscles.

Gabrielle’s head dropped forward, and she exhaled in relief.

Xena finished, then stepped up behind her and circled her with both arms, pressing their bodies together as she suckled at Gabrielle’s neck, nibbling carefully around up to her jawline as she slid her hands up the slave’s torso and gently traced her breasts.

“You…” Gabrielle’s voice sounded husky. “Have really amazing hands.”

“Only my hands?” Xena purred, releasing her hold so Gabrielle could turn in her arms and face her again. “Now you get to wash me, since I stink like an old horse blanket.”

With a smile, Gabrielle removed the towel from Xena’s shoulder and rinsed it out.

“Besides, the fun part comes next.” Xena added, reaching out to slide a finger inside the waistband of Gabrielle’s leggings and tugging it. “We’ll see if the boys remembered Xena’s rule number two.”

Gabrielle set to work, using more than the towel. “What’s that?”

For a moment, the queen was speechless. Then she caught her breath. “No knocking when the tent’s rocking.” She chuckled softly, throwing caution to the winds.

Hoping like Hades they really did remember.

**

Continued in Part 16

Shadows of the Soul

Part 16

Xena stood just inside the entrance to her tent, looking out. Despite the fact that it was, by her internal clock, dawn, there was barely enough light for her to see across the campsite. Dark gray clouds had gathered during the night and a cold wind blew across her face.

Her nose wrinkled a little, at the strong scent of rain and the dampness that made all the smells around her more vibrant than usual.

“Morning, Mistress.” Brendan had a thick, waxed cloak on. “Been a turn, eh?”

“Certainly has.” Xena agreed. “Traveling's gonna be a bitch today.” She added, mentally reviewing the route. “We’ll be up in the hills by midday... hope it doesn’t turn into snow.”

Brendan grunted. “Ah well, can’t master the weather. Least it was a quiet night.”

Xena’s lips quirked. “Not where I was.”

Her senior captain cleared his throat and looked away. “Aher… cooks’ are workin on getting some breakfast up, but they’ve had a bit of trouble with the fire in t’weather.” He said. “Men are packing up.”

The queen stretched, and then let her hands rest on her hips. “Good.” She nodded. “Sooner we get started, sooner we get through the mountains.”

Brendan nodded. “Send em past here soon’s breakfast done, Mistress. I was going to set things right for you last night, but the little one as chased me out.” The indignation was clear in his voice. “Shame if things weren’t as you liked em.”

Xena gave him a look. “Matter of fact, I thought you had.” She remarked. “Everything was perfect.”

His grizzled eyebrows lifted.

“And she’s a lot cuter than you are.” Xena grinned wickedly. “Just tell everyone when it comes to my gear or my kit – leave it to Gabrielle. She knows what I like.”

Brendan exhaled. “Aye, Mistress.” He gave her a slightly bemused look. “No offense to the little one meant… it’s just…”

“It’s just that the rest were mule fodder I tossed out with the morning bathwater.” Xena cut him off. “Well, this one’s different. Get used to it.”

The older man nodded. “I knew that, Mistress. Just wasn’t thinking.” He said. “I’ll be on m’way – good morning to you, and to the little one.”  He turned and ducked past the side of her tent, disappearing into the gray mist.

Xena grunted, then she turned her back on the weather and regarded the interior of her temporary abode, which was warmer, cozier, and definitely a lot fuller of cute blond slaves than the rest of the campsite.

Gabrielle got up from where she’d been kneeling next to the brazier and came over to her, carrying a steaming cup that smelled of berries and ginger. “Thanks for telling him that.” The slave said, handing her the tea.

The queen half shrugged. “It’s just the truth.” She sipped the beverage, and inhaled the steam as her eyes traveled over the slight blond form before her.

Gabrielle had dressed in her sturdy wool tunic, her leggings, and her boots, and with her pale hair brushed back still damp from their mutual morning bath she looked more like a young soldier than a delicious bedmate.

That was all right. Xena wasn’t much into frills at any time and she thought the plain, but well cut clothing flattered her young lover. With an indulgent look, she gave the shoulder of the tunic a slight tug, and then dusted it. “You ready for a long, cold, wet ride?”

Gabrielle grinned slightly. “Can anyone ever be ready for that?” She asked. “I guess the best way to look at it is think... ‘Okay, this is really awful, but it’s going to make a warm dry bed feel really, really good when it’s over.”

The queen chuckled softly.

“I remember one night in winter, when a storm blew the barn door open.” Gabrielle went on, stepping around Xena and starting the process of packing their things up. “All the sheep got out and ran away in the storm. My… father sent me to go find them.”

“You?” Xena had decided standing in the middle of her tent drinking tea while Gabrielle worked wasn’t to her liking. She placed her cup on the table and started to gather her gear.

“Well…” Gabrielle folded up the top layer of furs. “Yeah, I guess because I was the oldest.”

“You were older than your father?” Xena snorted. “Why the Hades didn’t he go??”
The slave was silent for a moment. “I don’t know.” She finally answered. “Anyway, there I was out in the middle of the night, in a storm, looking for sheep. You’d figure that everything being dark, white animals would be pretty obvious, huh??”

Xena studied the shift she was holding, which bore the mingled scents of both of them to her sensitive nose. “Yeah.” She replied briefly. “Easy.”

“Well, it’s not.” Gabrielle said. “It took me hours to find them. When I finally did, where do you think they were?”

Xena looked over her shoulder. “I don’t know. Where?”

“In the barn.” The slave’s eyes twinkled gravely. “They’re not stupid.” She said. “But I was so cold, and so miserable… you know, I just closed the door and stayed in there with them.”

A dark brow twitched. “And let your father stew till morning?”

Gabrielle nodded. “Then I brought them out for everyone to see.”

The queen grinned at her. “You’re not stupid either.” She put her bag down and walked over to Gabrielle, putting her hands on the slave’s shoulders and turning her round. Xena took a breath to speak, then found herself caught in the depths of those green eyes and absorbing the echoes of sadness in them.

Don’t.  Xena was almost convinced Gabrielle had actually spoken the word. Don’t ask me.

Well.

Xena hadn’t gotten to be who and what she was by listening to anyone but herself. What was the big deal anyway?  She’d seen so much worse. “Your father sounds like a jackass. Was he?”

The slave half shrugged, her shoulder moving under the queen’s touch. “Sometimes, I guess.”

“The times when he kicked you around?” Xena held her gaze steadily.

Gabrielle’s face flushed, and her eyes dropped to one side.

“Don’t tell me you still have some half-assed family loyalty going, Gabrielle. Any louse that would beat his kid and value sheep over them isn’t worth the tug on the heartstrings.” Xena told her in a firm tone. “It’s a damn good thing he’s dead, because if he wasn’t, I’d go find him and make him that way.”

“Why?” Gabrielle lifted her head, her voice husky.

Why? Xena frowned.

“Why would you want to do that? He didn’t do anything to you.” The slave continued. “He… wasn’t bad; he just... lost his temper, that’s all.”  She finished softly. “Or he was drunk… didn’t know what he was doing.”

Xena gazed at her with shrewd, cool eyes. “You really believe that?”

Gabrielle stared straight ahead, her lashes blinking slowly. “Yes.” She whispered.

The queen sighed soundlessly. She lifted her hand up and tilted Gabrielle chin, so the green eyes met hers. They looked at each other in silence for several heartbeats. “Well, if you’re dumb enough to believe that, then I guess you’ll believe I’d go knock the bastard off just because he hurt you.”

The slave exhaled.

“Ironic, huh?” Xena produced a faint smile. “Coming from your friendly royal homicidal maniac?” She waggled her eyebrows.

“He raped Lila.” Gabrielle spoke up, unexpectedly.

Xena blinked.

“He said I wasn’t pretty enough.” The slave went on, in a softly reflective voice that was tired, and somehow relieved at the same time. “She was pregnant from it. We just f…found out before we got here.”

Xena blinked again, leaning forward and staring at Gabrielle.

Gabrielle’s lips twisted slightly. “Life just sucks sometimes, huh?”

There were very few times when Xena found herself speechless. This was one of them.

“You know, I still can’t hate him.” The slave admitted. “He was my da.”

And that at last gave Xena the clue she needed, the tiny puzzle piece she’d felt she was missing that let her understand how Gabrielle could so readily love her.

It’s just what the kid did. Loving was in her nature, and the gods only knew what it would take to change that. Xena shook her head a few times. “Y’know, you’re just the damndest little thing.”

Gabrielle glanced towards the tent opening as a roll of thunder rumbled overhead. “Thanks.” She said. “I think.” Her shoulders straightened. “I guess I’d better get moving… huh?”

Xena studied her thoughtfully. Her eyes were evasive, and a tiny pucker had formed on her brow, just above her nose.  What could that mean? The queen puzzled over the question. Tentatively, she put her hand against Gabrielle’s cheek, watching closely as her bedmate leaned against the touch unconsciously.  Xena rubbed her thumb against the soft skin, and very slowly, the tension around Gabrielle’s mouth eased and her lips twitched upward.

Okay. So far so good. But the pucker was still there. The queen plotted out a tactical assault, and slid her other arm around the slave’s shoulders, pulling her close and giving her a hug. After a brief moment, she felt Gabrielle relax against her and return the hug, her breath warming the skin on Xena’s neck.

Now what?

Xena pondered. Ah. Words. Yeah, she could try a few of those. “You’re right.” She told her slave. “Life does suck sometimes.”

“Mm.”  Gabrielle nodded.

More words? “But… ah… “The queen fished gently. “Life sucks a lot less when you’ve got someone you can tell nasty crap to, and get a hug for it.”

She could feel Gabrielle smiling. The muscles of her face moved against Xena’s bare skin, and the slave’s arms tightened around her with something close to enthusiasm.

Hm. Xena tilted her head and peered at Gabrielle’s face. The pucker was gone. There were tears on her cheeks, but she was smiling.  The queen added it all up and decided she’d done all right.

Gabrielle sniffled and cleared her throat. “You’re so sweet.” She murmured.

Xena’s eyes nearly popped out of her head. “Here I am trying to be nice, and that’s what I get for it???” She spluttered. “You little muskrat!”

Thunder rolled overhead again, and the tent swayed as the wind surged against it. Xena cocked her head to one side and listened, not liking what she heard. “Tell you what.” She spoke in a crisp tone. “Hold that thought.” She gave Gabrielle a quick kiss on the head then slapped her on her butt. “That wind’s trouble.”

A horn sounded outside, and they heard horses whickering.

Xena grabbed her cloak. “Keep packing. I’ll be right back.”  She ordered, as another surge of wind made the tent flap rattle furiously. “Hopefully.” The queen ducked out the front of the tent and disappeared.

Gabrielle looked at the empty spot she’d been in for a moment, and then she buckled down and got to work.

It was all rote, however. Her thoughts had already left the tent, and trotted after Xena, a smile of wonder chasing after them.

**

The horses were too skittish to ride in the storm. Xena tugged her hood more closely around her head and leaned forward, her left hand tangled in her big mount’s bridle as she slogged her way through the thick, cold mud.

Wasn’t this fun? She found herself grinning as she heard the curses behind her of the men, and behind them, the servants. They really had little choice – there were no places to shelter in and staying in the lowlands with this volume of rain was asking to be caught in a flash flood from the hills.

Besides, a little mud never hurt anyone. She glanced behind her briefly, to where Gabrielle was gamely keeping up with her, the slave’s fingers wrapped firmly around the stirrup flapping empty at the horse’s side.

She was wearing one of Xena’s cloaks, hiked up around her waist to keep the length of it from dragging in the mud and bringing her to a sodden halt. Her hair was damp from the rain, and her face glistened with it but a slight grin was tugging at her lips as well and she appeared to be talking to herself.

Didn’t that just figure? Xena tugged a boot loose from a sucking gop of mud and shook it, then continued on. “Hey.”

Gabrielle looked up at her, the green of her eyes seeming oddly vibrant in the gray landscape.

“Got any interesting stories that aren’t about pigs, sheep, or me?” The queen asked.

“Um...” Gabrielle struggled to keep her balance in the water churned earth. “Well, I guess I can… augh.”

Xena studied her. Then she stopped, making the horse stop, and forgetting to warn Gabrielle who plowed right into her. She draped an arm over the slave’s shoulder and held her hand up. “Hold it!”

Everyone plodded to a halt, so covered in wet and mud she was hard pressed to tell the soldiers from the servants from the horses.

From the mules.

What a mess. “Take a break. Quarter candlemark.” The queen yelled.  Then she turned and dropped the big stallion’s reins and slogged off towards a nearby thicket. Halfway to it, she turned and pointed at Gabrielle.” Stay!”

The slave glanced down at her boots, then up at the queen. “Okay, but I think I’m sinking.” She observed, as the mud crept up past her leather covered ankles and advanced on her calves. “Hope you can swim.”

“Can you?” The queen laughed, walking backwards with consummate grace.

Gabrielle raised a hand, and waggled it.

“Typical muskrat.” Xena reached her objective and turned, studying the branches she had available. She spotted the one she wanted and removed her sword from its sheath. “Never thought I’d be using this to do that.” She chopped expertly at the branch until she’d cut it loose from the tree, and then casually stripped the twigs from it as she walked back to the road.

Gabrielle had prudently yanked her boots from the ever encroaching mud and hopped onto a patch of higher ground.  She watched Xena as she came closer, using the back of her hand to wipe the rain from her eyes. “Oh.” She said. “Walking stick. What a great idea.”

“Glad you like it.” Xena tossed it to her, not surprised when it bounced off Gabrielle’s hastily raised forearms before the slave managed to snatch it out of mid air. “Since it’s for you.”

“Me?” Gabrielle blinked at the long, slim item.

Xena went to her horse’s side and took out her waterskin, which was in reality a cider skin. She uncapped it and sucked down a mouthful before she answered. “You. Remember I said I’d teach you how to use a stick?”

The slave examined her new acquisition. It was taller than she was, but her hand fit comfortably around it. “I... um... thought you meant a stick stick. Not a fence post.”

The queen leaned closer and spit a mouthful of cider at her. At the last startled moment, Gabrielle stuck her tongue out and caught some, blinking as the rest hit her more or less in the face. “Bah!”

Xena chuckled, putting the cap back on her cider and resting her hands on her saddle. The rain continued an ever-present, cold annoyance that thrummed against her shoulders, but despite all that she found herself to be in a very good mood.

She rested her chin on the covered leather, gazing thoughtfully at her miserable cadre of followers. Then she shifted her eyes to where Gabrielle was examining her big stick. The slave was running her hands over the roughly barked surface, and lifting it, then thumping its end down on the ground.

Of course, the kid had no clue what to do with it. Xena smiled to herself. But she would, before Xena was done with her. “Just hang on to it.” She advised Gabrielle. “Use it to walk with. We’ll figure out the rest later.”

“Okay.” Gabrielle agreed readily. “I like it. I once heard a story about a wizard, who had a stick just like this. Only he called it a staff.”

“A wizard?” Xena gave her a look.

The slave nodded. “Want to hear about it?”

Xena tucked the knowledge that she had a pithy little story in the offing neatly under her heart as she surveyed the rest of the travelers. “Yeah, but save it till we start off again.” She handed the reins to her. “Hang on to him. I’m gonna go check the lines.”

Gabrielle gazed at the strips of wet leather in her hand. “Hang onto you?” She looked quizzically at the big animal. “If you start running, does she really think I’m going to stop you?”

The horse arched his neck around and pushed his muzzle into her belly.

“I’d bounce down the road like a nutty rabbit.” She scratched his ears, tucking her new staff into the crook of her arm. “You’re pretty, you know that?”

The stallion nibbled her belt. Gabrielle leaned over and kissed him on the forehead, then stroked his big, flat cheek. “I always liked horses.” She confided to him. “Way better than sheep.”

The horse snorted.

“Yeah.” Gabrielle agreed. “They made me sneeze like crazy, so I’d escape from them and hide in the horse barn in the afternoon. We had the cleanest horses for a hundred leagues.”

The animal shook his head, and then decided to try lipping the edge of her cloak hood. The slave admired his big, liquid dark eyes as she tickled him on the hollows behind them. She decided his coat was just about the same color as Xena’s hair and imagined how he’d look with her blue eyes.

“Bah.” Gabrielle gave her head a little shake. “That would be just too weird.” She decided, shifting her boots once again out of the mud. The water was running down the road past her, and she could tell there would be little left of the track if the rain kept up except for a small stream.  They would be hard pressed to make it up the hill at this rate, and she wondered if Xena had thought about alternatives.

“She probably has.” Gabrielle told the horse. “At least it’s still just rain.”

A cold wind blasted against her, and she yelped as the rain sharpened into a spate of sleet. The horse glared at her, letting out another snort and shifting his hooves.

“Okay... okay... I get the message. Shut up.” The slave whispered into one ear. “Tell you what; I know a great story about a pony. Want to hear it?”

“Gabrielle!”

Gabrielle dodged around the side of the horse, as she was unable to see over him and shaded her eyes from the rain. She spotted Xena’s unmistakable figure not that far off, standing next to a big wagon. “I’m here!” she called back.

“Bring him this way!”

Obligingly, she started back towards the queen, gently tugging the big horse along with her. “C’mon, pretty boy. Let’s go see your mom.”

The horse made a sound that almost caused Gabrielle to trip. She used her new staff to catch her balance, and kept going, smothering a smile as she got closer to Xena’s tall form. “Here he is.” She said, as she came even with the queen. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Xena pointed to a small track almost obscured by the trees. “I found a better route.” She turned. “Mount up! We’re changing course!”

Gabrielle peered past the wagon at the path, which disappeared between heavy foliage. It would cut the wind and rain, she realized, and give them a little shelter. “Ah.” She murmured. “Is it a shortcut?”

“No.” Xena slid around her and took over the reins. “We’ll probably get lost in a bog and end up eating frogs for dinner. Wanna go back?”

“Nope.” Gabrielle followed her. “I like frogs.”  She found herself in unexpectedly high spirits. The day before she’d been somewhat unsure of herself, intimidated by the army, and by the travel she just wasn’t used to.  But today, on foot, and despite the rain, she felt a lot better.

She had a chance out here, she’d realized, to prove to Xena not only how willing she was to share the queen’s hardships, but how resourceful she could be when faced with the unexpected.  After all, she wasn’t stupid, Xena had said so herself, and she welcomed the opportunity to show what she could do other than cook and…

Well.

Cook.  Gabrielle felt herself blush, invisibly as it happened, and she tightened her grip on her staff. The stick felt good to hold and as she moved over the very uneven ground, the mud churned up by the wagons to a sticky sludge she used it to keep her balance and feel her way along.

She caught up to Xena as the queen led her horse off the road and onto slight slope, improving the footing immensely already.  The idea was sounding better and better every moment, and as the rest of the troops and servants followed them she could hear voices articulating that very thought.

They headed towards the opening in the trees, and passed under the thick branches into a cool, dim path where the rain almost didn’t exist.  Gabrielle straightened in relief and pushed her hood down, glad she now could look around her with out impediment.

The sound of the horses and wagons changed from splooching to the soft, regular beat of hooves on dirt and they quickened their pace, glad of dry footing at last. “Wow. Good choice.” Gabrielle said, as she edged up behind Xena’s striding form. “This is great.”

Xena smiled. “Now.” She moved aside a bit, to give Gabrielle room to walk next to her. “About that wizard?”

“Once up on a time…” Gabrielle began.

Her voice lifted and carried back, the rain now softened by the thick leaves. The rowdy cursing faded and ears perked up to listen, and even the thunder grumbled more softly.

**

“Brr.” Gabrielle clutched the edges of her damp cloak together with one hand, using her staff to help her move up the steadily increasing slope before her.  The rain had slowed, but it had also gotten much colder and now felt like bits of ice idly striking her skin.

Probably because it was. Gabrielle released her cloak and caught one; examining the hard item and watching it melt between her fingers.

It was well past midday. The path Xena had found had probably saved most of them from collapsing or even half drowning, and they’d made their way along the sheltered track in reasonably good time. At least Gabrielle thought it was reasonably good time, since Xena wasn’t acting too impatient.

She’d started to notice interesting things about Xena. Like the fact that she fidgeted a lot. She didn’t seem to have a lot of patience when things got fouled up and her usual course of action was to just start hacking away at whatever was holding her up until it stopped.

That could be a tree, the weather, a stream… Gabrielle exhaled softly. So far this trip it hasn’t been any people.

Yet.

She wondered how much further they were going to go. There had been no stop for lunch, and she was uncomfortably aware of her stomach grumbling about that. Yesterday, Xena had kept them going until well after dark, and as she looked ahead, Gabrielle didn’t see any end to the long, winding, and ever tougher to climb path.

Her legs hurt. It was a different hurting than from riding – this was a dull ache in the tops of her thighs and in her groin and back. She wasn’t used to climbing up mountains, that’s for sure.

Ahead of them, the path seemed to top out at least for a short while though, and she was looking forward to a bit of a break from the upward slant. So she bore down and leaned forward a little, working to catch up with Xena’s effortlessly striding form.

Xena blinked the ice out of her eyes for the nth time, remembering all over again just how much she hated that feeling. She regarded the upward slant of the path with an evil eye, knowing there wasn’t any place to even pull over to stop within view.

Ah well. The queen tipped her head back a bit and looked up at the gray sky, only patchily seen through the overhanging trees. At least they were somewhat sheltered, unlike what remaining on the road would have been like, and they were making progress.

After a few more minutes, she reached a flatter part of the path and slowed, peering ahead of her curiously. The forest ground spread out here, the path continuing on up an even steeper grade past the far side of a large oak tree. But another track led off at right angles to it, cutting into the hillside and bearing the marks of long, repeated usage.

Xena turned, pulling her horse out of the way of the oncoming troops. “Hold up.” She let out a yell. “Rest here a minute.” Her words were welcomed, not unexpectedly, but she ignored the mutters of relief as she ducked past the first of the men and explored the side track.

A soft crackle behind her made her pause after she got a few steps down it. She felt no impending danger, however, and when she glanced back she wasn’t surprised to see Gabrielle at her heels. Ah. Was that it? The little muskrat could sneak up on her because she realized she was safe? “Where do you think you’re going?” She asked, with a smile.

“Wherever you are.” Gabrielle answered promptly, peeking past her shoulder. “Wow... it’s pretty up here.”

Xena looked at her. “No, it isn’t.” She replied. “It’s wet, it’s cold, half the leaves are dead, and there’s a slug on your shoulder.”

Gabrielle jumped and brushed at her arm, then relaxed and looked at the queen. “That was mean.”

“Oo... you sweet talker you.” Xena chortled, leaning to one side and giving her a kiss. “You say the nicest things to me.”

The queen turned and continued her investigation, moving wet leaves aside as she edged sideways up the overgrown path. She spotted a mossy rock wall ahead and grunted, then pushed a branch out of the way and found what she was looking for.

Damn it.

With an aggrieved sigh, Xena looked up at the gray sky. She felt a few bits of sleet hit her, and then a few more, the increasing volume timed with a pick up of the wind.

They hadn’t gone nearly far enough. She’d wanted to be on the other side of the mountain already, but the weather and the long climb had prevented them from making the kind of forced march she really wanted to push for.

If she kept going, they might or might not find a resting spot for the night in the few hours of daylight left to them.

However. Xena put her hands on her hips. Here, she had a cave ready to hand, with an opening big enough for the horses, and the damn wagons to enter. It promised shelter from the storm, and a good, solid, defensible position she didn’t have to worry about being attacked in.

Damn it.

“What’s in there?” Gabrielle was slipping around her and peering into the dark opening. “Is that a cave?”

“Tell me you’re a cave virgin.” Xena drawled. “G’wan.”

“Well...” Gabrielle explored further. “This is my first big one.”

“Not surprising. You got a habit starting at the top.” The queen turned and walked back down the path. “Don’t get lost. We’re going to stop here for the night.”  She didn’t wait for an answer, instead, she continued back to where her men were waiting. “All right.” She snarled. “Listen up!”

All the soldiers turned and faced her. Behind them, the servants huddled near the wagons, plainly exhausted. They watched her with weary, wary eyes.

“From here on, we run.” Xena barked.

Then she waited. Her men managed to all groan without making a sound or moving a muscle. The servants at the back merely stared in shock.

“Just kidding.” The queen smiled at them. “You got lucky. I found shelter. Up there.” She pointed towards the path. “We’re going to let this storm pass over, and whenever it does, we move on. I don’t care if it’s moon highest.”

Brendan blew a lock of gray hair out of his eyes.

“Get moving.”  Xena turned her back and walked back to the path, taking hold of her horse’s reins and leading him towards the cave.   She still wasn’t happy about stopping so soon, but Xena also wasn’t stupid and she realized continuing to travel in these conditions was a bad idea.

All it would take is one tired drover making a mistake, and sending a wagon backwards to lose supplies, valuable animals, and probably a few extra servants as well. Xena hated wasting time, but she hated waste even more.

So, they would stop. “Brendan, put someone outside the cave. I want to know when this damn weather stops.” She ordered, as her captain came even with her. “We’re sitting ducks up here, and every candlemark gives those bastards time to plot against me.”

“Aye, Mistress.” Brendan agreed briskly. “We’ll do that.” He glanced up. “Should turn cold when she passes. Better start up some fires to get the cloth dry.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Xena instinctively ducked to enter the cave, even though the opening was more than sufficient to clear her height. Inside, she blinked and slowed, to let her eyes accustom themselves to the darkness, then she strode forward as she spotted Gabrielle standing in the center of the large space.

“Wow.” Her slave said, simply, as she stood looking up. “It’s so pretty.”

“Here you go again.” Xena looked up, seeing nothing but stalagmites hanging from the ceiling. “Gabrielle, it’s just a cave.”

Behind her, the space was filling with her army and the rest of the travelers. Xena took Gabrielle’s arm and gave her a tiny shove towards the back of the cavern. “C’mon. Let’s go see if we can find someplace that’s not going to smell like mules.”

Gabrielle peered in the direction she was being guided, and saw little other than shadows and more darkness. “Um…”  She squinted. “It’s dark.”

“Sissy.” Xena merely tugged her along, her boots crunching slightly over the rock and sand strewn floor. The cave traveled on towards the rear, its walls narrowing. She turned a corner and found what she was looking for, a nook more than large enough for the two of them, cozy and very, very dark. “Ah.”

“Ah.” Gabrielle whispered softly.

“Perfect.” Xena pronounced. “All it needs is a pile of nice, soft furs and a bottle of wine.”

The slave exhaled, moving a little closer to the queen. “Um…”

“Okay, a bottle of wine and a couple of venison steaks.” Xena teased. “I hear you grumbling.”

Gabrielle tried not to lose control of her breathing. “Ah... no, it’s not… “She felt the walls closing in on her and she tried very hard to ignore the sensation. “I just... um… “

Xena’s hand touched her cheek, feeling very warm. “Gabrielle.” The queen’s voice came right out of the darkness. “You’re not afraid of the dark, are you?”

There was a very long silence, there in that corner of the cave, where the sounds of the army making the best camp they could echoed around them.

“Yes.” Gabrielle finally answered. “I am.” She added, in a shaky voice. “Little, dark places... I just… I’m sorry.”

Xena could hardly imagine it. What was it like to be afraid of something? She wondered. “Brendan!” Her voice lifted. “Get me a damn torch!”

“Aye!”

Xena draped an arm over Gabrielle’s shoulders. “You know what I’m afraid of?”

Gabrielle took a few breaths before she answered. “No.” She said. “I can’t imagine you being afraid of anything.”

“Spiders.” The queen admitted, in a whisper. “Hate em.”

“Really?” Gabrielle whispered back.

“Yeah.” Xena turned as Brendan appeared, along with a guttering, orange torch that sent weird shadows everywhere. “Thanks.”

“My pleasure, Mistress.” The captain told her. “Had to use the pitch to light’ er – most the rest are soaked through, Going to be Hades own problem to dry em.”

“Do what you have to. Get everything as dry as you can.” Xena ordered. “I don’t want anyone taking down with the coughing sickness. Anyone starts that; I’ll cut their throats out. Got me?”

“Mistress.” Brendan ducked his head and disappeared, leaving them in an orange glow.

“Now.” Xena held the torch up, examining the small pocket. “What do you think?”

Gabrielle slowly opened her eyes, and then exhaled in relief. The small, close space she’d been imagining turned out to be a reasonably sized, though low roofed chamber, with a soft, sandy floor and walls that held a hint of sparkling glitter in them. It even had a little rock shelf on one side you could put things on. “Oh.” The slave relaxed. “It’s nice.” She said. “Well, as nice as a rock cave could be, I mean.”

Xena found a place in the rock for her to stick the torch, and she did so. Her eyes followed the smoke critically, watching it waft along the ceiling and then escape into the bigger chamber. “Could be worse.” She acknowledged. “Least I don’t have to worry about some jackass coming down in the middle of the night on top of me.”

Gabrielle had walked to the wall and touched it, admiring the soft glitter. At Xena’s words she turned. “I’d never let that happen.” She said firmly.

Xena just looked at her.

“I’d scream really loud, at least.” The slave added, keeping a straight face.

“Was that a joke?”

Gabrielle lifted her hand and waggled it. Then she walked over and gave the queen a hug. “Thanks for understanding.” She said. “About me being scared.”

The queen wrinkled her nose. “I don’t.” She admitted. “But a torch is a cheap solution. C’mon. Let’s get comfortable.” She wrapped an arm around Gabrielle and started back into the main cavern. “And hope this damn rain stops.”

**

But it didn’t stop.  Gabrielle found herself a spot near the entrance and curled up against the rocks to watch as the hard, flinty sleet slowly changed to snowflakes. The pattering slowed as the flakes began to fall, drifting across the entrance to the cave.

The air blowing in with it was cold, and she tucked her hands under her arms. The gray light outside was dimming, and she knew night would be upon them soon. Though the wait was aggravating Xena, she was glad the snow was coming down just like everyone else in the cave was.

She was tired. Gabrielle rested her head against the rock, licking her lips a little. Her belly was full of stew, at least, and she’d gotten the queen’s things settled in the nook she’d picked out but now she barely had energy enough to hold her head upright.

Adventures, she decided, had their downsides.

She watched the snowflakes drop, allowing the almost rhythm of them to lull her into a sense of peace. Watching them, she could almost believe she was back home, on a winter day in the barn after all her chores were done.

Then there had been a small bit of time she’d had for her own, before dinner, when she could sit and just let her imagination run where it would. When the stories came to her, like old friends sneaking in for a visit just to cheer her up.

“Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess.” Gabrielle murmured the words with a wry smile. “Remember that story you used to tell Lila? About the princess who went out in the world in search of her perfect prince?”

How they’d argued over what was perfect.

“Hey.”

Gabrielle turned and looked up, to find Xena behind her, leaning against the wall.  The queen’s tall figure was backlit by the fire burning smokily in the center of the cavern and it threw her face into half shadow.  Her eyes, though, stood out as they always did. “Hi.”

“Some reason you’re sitting over here?” Xena asked. “Didn’t think you were the loner type.”

The slave circled her knees with both arms. “No, I’m not. It’s just really crowded over there, and the fire was making my eyes tear.” She said. “So I thought I’d just rest here for a while.”

Xena turned and pressed her back against the wall, studying the falling snow with a sour expression. “We are not amused.” She remarked.

“We aren’t?” Gabrielle eased over slightly, just enough to allow her shoulder to touch Xena’s knee. The warmth felt good, and the intangible tingle she felt being in the queen’s presence felt even better. “I think snow’s a lot prettier than freezing rain, don’t you?”

“No.” Xena shook her head. “It’s keeping me from what I want. Nothing is pretty that keeps me from what I want.  Are we fairly clear on that?”

Gabrielle leaned her head against the queen’s thigh, watching the snow come down harder. “I used to catch snowflakes on my tongue.” She said. “Did you know each one of them is completely different? There aren’t any duplicates.”

Xena scratched her nose. Then she looked down at Gabrielle. “You would know that.”

The slave exhaled. “Was there something you wanted me to do?” She asked. “I think I got all your stuff done.”

“No.” The queen replied. “I just finished badgering my men and scaring all the servants. I was bored. I missed you.”

Gabrielle laid her cheek against Xena’s knee and gazed up at her, a smile finding its way onto her face. “Did you really?”

Now it was the queens’ turn to study the snowflakes for a while. “You know.” Xena finally answered. “That’s a damn good question.”  She extended a hand down. “C’mon. Let’s go figure out the answer.”

Gabrielle took her hand, and found herself lifted to her feet with almost no effort on her part. She paused to stretch out her sore legs, and then she followed Xena as they walked across the cavern.

In the center, the fire pit held a pot still steaming with the remnants of the stew that had fed everyone.  The servants were still circled around it, finishing what was left in wooden trenchers and scraping the last drop out with bits of road bread.

Around the fire the troops were camped, except for half a dozen of them who were station right next to the cavern opening.  Behind them, near the walls, the servants had set up their meager bedrolls next to where the animals were bedded down.

It really didn’t smell as bad as that sounded, Gabrielle acknowledged. After all, the animals had been washed by rainwater all day long, and she was used to the scent of manure. It was a weird mixture with venison stew, though, and her nose twitched at the oddly conflicting scents that assailed her the further she went into the cavern.

What she did notice, though, was that no one seemed to be standing on ceremony here in the cave. Though Xena walked right through their midst, there was no scraping and bowing that preceded or followed the queen’s progress.

Not that everyone wasn’t watching Xena, of course. Gabrielle caught the furtive glances as she walked behind the queen. It was more like the ceremonies of the court were suspended while they were on their journey. She wondered if that was a rule that Xena had set down, or something else.

She hoped it was a rule.  It seemed like something pretty common sense, and she liked to think that for all her talk, Xena had a lot of really solid common sense to her.  Even when she did horrible things, she seemed to have some kind of internal reason for them, and though often Gabrielle had trouble coping with the things she did the fact that she did them for at least her own causes seemed comforting.

They passed between two rows of neatly parked wagons, which formed a sort of barrier that separated the main cavern from where Xena had chosen to rest. In front of the wagons were a row of guard, and as they went through the line of them, Gabrielle realized the guards were there to protect them.

From the rest of the army and the servants? She looked up at Xena as they rounded the crack in the rocks and entered their area. “Xena?”

“Yeeesss?” The queen adjusted one of the torches, and nodded in satisfaction.  “That should be all right.”

Gabrielle changed her mind, and decided to ask another question instead. “It’s pretty safe back here, huh?”

Xena put her hands on her hips and turned in a circle, then shrugged. “Depends on what you mean by safe.” She answered. “It gives Brandon warm and fuzzies because he can have some slugs lie down out there and pretend to protect me.”

“You’re into slugs today, huh?”

The queen chuckled. “I found two on my saddle on the way up here. Weather.”  She shook her head. “Hate those things.”  She added. “So from that perspective, it’s safe. If we have an avalanche on the other hand, we’re probably royally screwed.”

“Ah.”

Xena chuckled again. “Don’t worry. If you have to die under a pile of rocks with me, I’ll at least make it worth your while.”

Gabrielle digested this. “So…” She cleared her throat. “Is that where they royally screwed comes in?”

The queen had been removing something from her saddlebag, and now she stopped in mid motion, and turned her head to peer at her slave. “That.” She pointed. “Was a joke, and not only a joke, but a sex joke. I’m getting to you.”

The slave felt herself blush, but she smiled, wondering if Xena knew just how basely true that statement was. “So... those soldiers are for show out there?” She pointed behind her.

Xena leaned back against the rock shelf and crossed her legs at the ankle. “Yeah… I don’t really expect anyone here to come after me in the middle of the night with a bone knife.” She said. “But ya never know, Gabrielle. Plenty of people in those kitchens were on Bregos side, and if they got the opportunity? Why not?”

“Oh.”

“Anyway.” Xena picked up Gabrielle’s staff, which she’d tucked away near her small pile of belongings. “Here. Take this.” She tossed it to the slave.

“Now?” Gabrielle managed to grab it and not let it drop.

“Yes, now.” Xena removed a spear, denuded of its sharp end from a crook in the wall and walked towards her. “You wanted to learn how to fight, well put up your stick, muskrat. I’m gonna teach you.”

Oh boy.  Gabrielle tried to muster up some energy. It was tough, but she took a few breaths and clenched her hands a couple of times and lifted the stick up, facing Xena warily. “Okay.” She said. “But I don’t think I’m going to be much good.”

“No?”  Xena studied her. “Why not?”  She leaned on her spear. “Sticks the right size, and you’re not that much of a weakling, are you?”

Gabrielle put the end of her staff down. “Not usually… but, I... um... “She exhaled and braced her shoulders back, lifting her stick up again. “I’m ready.”

Xena took the staff out of her hands with a motion so fast, she didn’t even see it. “No, you’re not.” The queen commented mildly. “Let me tell you something.” She booted the fallen staff up to one hand, and then tossed it back to the slave. “Fights don’t wait for you to be ready for them. If you can handle this when you’re worn out, it makes doing it when you’re rested a Hades of a lot easier.”

Oh. Gabrielle shook her hands, which stung uncomfortably, and lifted the staff again. “That sort of makes sense.”

“Sort of??” Xena walked over, tucking her spear away. “Okay, first lesson.” She took hold of the staff, and adjusted its level, bringing the right end up slightly higher than the left. “Spread your legs.”

Gabrielle looked down, then up. Her eyebrows lifted.

“For balance.” Xena laughed. “Not everything I say has to do with sex, you little muskrat.”  She booted Gabrielle’s feet apart to shoulder width, and pulled her forward a little. “You have to balance your body two ways. Right and left, and forward and back. So you can move any way if you need to.”

Gabrielle frowned. “I don’t…”

“Think about a big rock.” Xena interrupted her impatiently. “The rock sits in your gut.” She said. “That’s your center of balance. Once you figure that out, that’s where you move from.”

A rock? The slave swayed a little, trying to figure out what Xena was getting at. It was so alien to anything she’d ever done; she hardly knew where to start.

“Bend your knees a little.” Xena tapped the side of her knee with the spear. “Lean forward.”

Obediently, she did so, and as she rocked forward, something…it was so strange. Her weight came forward onto her thigh muscles and her back straightened and it just felt…

Right. She had no words for it. It was almost an echo of memory of something she knew she’d never done.

“Good!” Xena praised her. “I think you got it!”

Yeah. Gabrielle managed a smile. The question was, though... now what was she going to do with it? Looking at the grin on Xena’s face, she suspected she’d find out in very, very short order.

**

Oh, Xena, what the Hades have you gotten yourself into?  The queen washed her hands from the silver basin placed neatly on the rock ledge, drying her long fingers with the linen set next to it.  Teaching Gabrielle to fight was going to be like teaching a pig to sing, and she hated bad singing.

The girl just had no clue.  Xena had realized almost immediately that her young pupil was lacking in the one thing a fighter had to have in order to fight – aggression.  So she’d changed her tactics, and instead had just taught Gabrielle how to hold the staff so that she could defend herself from someone attacking her.

That had been more successful. But it still was going to take a long, long time. Xena glanced behind her. Gabrielle was seated on the rock ledge nearby, holding the staff, and frowning at it – small motions indicating she was trying to work out what Xena had told her.

“Hey, Xena?” Gabrielle stood up and lifted the staff again. Her hands were spaced at shoulder width on it, and she moved it up and down in front of her. “How do you know again if the bad guys are trying to hit you from top or bottom?”

This was your idea, remember that.  Xena walked over and faced her. “You have to figure out what the bad guy is doing.” She lifted her hands as though she had a sword in them. “If I’m gonna cut your legs off, I do this.” She set her balance and swiped down and to the left.

Hesitantly, Gabrielle lowered the staff, to intercept the imaginary weapon. The end of the big stick ended up around her knees, meeting the line of Xena’s hands.

“Right.” Surprised, Xena straightened. “Now, if I was gonna split your head open, I’d do this.” She lifted her cocked hands over her head and swept downward.

Gabrielle’s eyes widened and she got the stick up and took a step back instinctively. “But…”  She jumped a little as Xena’s fists thumped against her weapon, bouncing off a little as the flexible staff rebounded from the strike.

“Hey, that’s not bad.” The queen complimented her. “You might survive an extra minute now.”  She added. “You did right to step back. That helps you take the force and stay balanced.”

“It does?” Gabrielle glanced down. “I didn’t do it on purpose.”

Xena chuckled wryly.  She tapped the staff with her hands. “If it feels right, do it.”

Gabrielle considered that. She lowered her staff and examined the surface. “Won’t the sword cut through this, though?” The slave asked. “It’s just wood.”

Ah. Not a bad question. Xena studied the staff. “We’ll have to harden it.” She said. “But the trick is you don’t let the edges get stuck in it. You have to move it faster than the slugs coming at you are.”  She took the staff from her. “Like this.”

Gabrielle stepped back and watched, wide eyed as the queen went through a series of motions, the speed of them so incredible it made the air inside the cavern sing. “Holy pig butts.” She blurted, as the edge of the staff whipped out and back, striking an invisible attacker’s head.

Xena’s blue eyes twinkled at her. “Just blocking won’t do ya much good, muskrat. You have to hit back.”  She handed Gabrielle the staff. “Otherwise, you’re just sitting there waiting for him to hack you to death.”

The slave took the stick from her, feeling the warmth of Xena’s touch on the wood as she curled her fingers around it. “I’m no sure I can do that.” She admitted. “I don’t like hurting people.”

“Yeah.” Xena ruffled her hair briskly. “I can see that. But if you want to learn this, either get over it, or whittle that into kindling. Your choice.”   Even with all that, Xena acknowledged silently that she’d enjoyed the lesson more than she’d expected to.

Maybe it was that brand new, empty slate thing. She’d always had a thing for virgins.

“Well.” Gabrielle set the staff into a nook in the corner. “Anyway, it makes a good walking stick. Thanks for showing me how to use it, Xena.”

“Anytime.” The queen smiled quietly to herself.

A sudden rash of shouts in the outer chamber caught their attention. Xena tossed the towel she’d picked up again down and headed for the opening, the angry tones making her senses bristle.

Gabrielle froze for a second, and then she picked up her big stick and followed. She could hear the escalating noise as she caught up to the queen’s fast moving form and they emerged from between the wagons in time to see two soldiers standing near the fire with one of the servants held firmly by the arms between them.

“Ya little thief! Let me burn the dinars outta ya!” One of the soldiers yelled, pulling the man closer to the fire.  The man twisted in his grasp and cried out, but the two soldiers were more than his match. “Teach you to rob us, scum!”

Xena paused and let her hand rest on the edge of the wagon, watching with interest. She felt something impact her between the shoulder blades, and the next thing she knew Gabrielle was poking her head from around her right side, grasping her staff and looking past her at the fracas. “Did you just hit me with that thing?”

“Xena, look!” Gabrielle grasped her arm. “What are they doing?”

“Applying field justice.” The queen told her, unperturbed.

The slave gasped, as they forced the man to his knees. “Aren’t you going to stop them?”

Xena looked at her. “Why would I?” She asked. “They caught the idiot stealing, he deserves what he gets.”

Gabrielle stared at the tableau. The other servants had escaped away from the fire, and only soldiers surrounded the man. “But… “She searched for a reason, an excuse… “What if he’s not guilty?”

“Gabrielle, they caught him stealing.” The queen frowned. “These guys don’t have imaginations. That’s why they like your stories, remember?”

“But…”

“Shh.”

“Can’t you just make sure?” The slave whispered.

Xena tipped her head back and regarded the now smoke stained ceiling plaintively. Then she shook her head and stepped out from the shadows, raising her fingers to her lips and letting out a whistle as she walked forward.

About to shove the servant’s head into the fire, the soldiers stopped at the sound and froze. They straightened and stepped back as Xena entered the immediate circle of the fire, their backs bracing in respect as they stood at attention. “Majesty!”

“That’d be me. What do you have here?” Xena asked shortly.

The servant, chest heaving in panic, eyes widened in terror, just kept his head down and his gaze averted from her.  He was dressed in the clothes of a drover, and his legs were the bowed arcs of a long time rider.

“Bastard snuck up and stole my kit, Majesty.” The soldier on the left stated. He held out the kit to her. “Found it by his gear.”

Xena took the kit. It was stamped with her sigil, and she could see its twin on almost every soldier’s bedroll of she looked around.  She opened it and looked inside. It held a typical scramble of flint and tinder, sharpening stones, and other minutiae of a fighter’s lifestyle.  Her eyes lifted to the drover. “Pick his head up. I hate talking to lice.”

With a grimace, the soldier wrapped his fingers in the man’s hair and pulled his head back, forcing him to face the queen.

Xena held the kit up. “Did you steal this?”  She was aware, at the very fringe of her perception, of Gabrielle creeping up and watching from behind the first circle of men.

“Never s…saw it.” The man ground out from between clenched teeth.

The queen hefted the kit. “So, it grew legs and walked to your bedroll and snuggled up because you smelled like its mama?” She tossed the kit back to its owner.

The man just looked sullenly at her.

Xena crossed over to him and struck like a snake, her hand catching him in the throat as she lifted him up onto his toes. “I...” She snarled. “Asked you a question.”  Her fingers tensed, and the veins under them jumped and pulsed. “Did. You. Steal. This.”

The man struggled to breathe, his legs shaking. “I…”

“Faster.” Xena shook him viciously, rattling his teeth together. “Patience is a virtue. We all know how virtuous I am.”

“I... I didn’t!” The man choked out. “Twas there… when I got back from the fire! I swear it!”

His breath was offensive. Xena punched him hard with her free hand and released his throat as he dropped to the ground unconscious.  Then there was silence as the men waited, looking at each other as she wiped her hands off on her shirt and let her hands fall to her hips.

Gabrielle eased through the line of men and came to her side, wrapping her hands around her new staff and leaning on it as she looked down at the drover. “He said he didn’t take it.” She murmured.

Xena wrinkled her nose expressively. “If I was holding your throat, choking you and you knew stealing meant death, and I asked you if you stole something, what would you say?”

“You mean if I really took it?” Gabrielle asked.  “I think I would just say so.”

“Figures.”

“I mean, how would he know if you weren’t going to kill him anyway?” Gabrielle lowered her voice to an almost whisper. “If he lied, you’d kill him, right?”

Xena shifted. “Right.”

“So... if I was going to die either way. I think I’d rather die telling the truth.”

The queen observed the circle of waiting me. “Me, too – but this guy’s got the brains of a goat, and he’s neither as smart, nor as moral as you are.”  She looked at the thief’s victim. “How’d you find it?”

“Came back from washing up, Mistress. Found it gone, and we started looking.” The soldier reported crisply. His eyes met Xena’s with calm forthrightness. “Max spotted it half tucked under this ‘un’s bedding over there.” He pointed. “Wasn’t much else to say... wasn’t going to bother your majesty with it.”

Gabrielle exhaled. “That really is pretty cut and dried isn’t it?” She admitted.

Xena’s blue eyes sharpened. “Is it?” She slowly started to walk around the circle, examining the soldiers. “You know, Gabrielle… my delicious little friend, it occurs to me that though our lumpy stock man there doesn’t have much brains, he really doesn’t seem to be the suicidal type.”

Her gaze found each man’s and held it. “In fact… you know what this reminds me of, Gabrielle?”

“Um... no.”

“It reminds me of a three day old dead fish.”

Gabrielle just leaned on her staff, and kept her mouth shut.

Face after face, eyes after eyes, she swept slowly around in a circle searching.

Finally.  A set of eyes that refused to meet hers. “Did you know a lot of people think I can read minds, Gabrielle?” Xena asked, in a conversational tone. “That if I look into someone’s eyes, I know what they’re thinking?”

“Really?”

“Really.” Xena reached her hand back. “Here, let me borrow your big stick. I’ll show you a neat trick with it.”

Gabrielle straightened and extended the staff to her, watching her take it and then walking up behind her to see what she was going to do with it.

Xena slid the wood up between her hands, then she pulled the top end back and slammed the bottom end forward, catching her shifty eyed quarry between the legs with a blow so hard it actually made a popping sound when it hit him.

He sagged to the floor with a croak, his hands going to his groin in helpless clutching.  Xena put the end of the staff against his throat and leaned on it, cutting off his air. “Now, see, Gabrielle? That’s two things you can do with this.” She instructed. “I don’t like thieves, but I really hate snakes a lot worse.” She turned and looked at the gaping soldier who’d lost his kit. “You and him buddies?”

“Buh… Majesty, he’s an old friend, yes. We...”

“Your bedrolls next to each other?”

The man nodded.

“Get me the wagon master.” Xena ordered. She waited until the older man came forward, watching her in nervous wariness.  “Stevan.”

“Mistress.”

“Tough road today?”

The man half shrugged. “Passable rough, Mistress. We managed.”

Xena leaned on the staff and pinned him with her eyes. “You’re supposed to tell Brendan when your men have trouble with my men, Stevan. You didn’t.”

His eyes dropped. “Was just a scuffle, Mistress. No one got hurt.”

Gabrielle watched all this in utter fascination. Xena had taken nothing but her instinct and at every turn, it seemed she knew exactly what had happened.

How did she do it? Just by knowing these people?

“Just a matter of that one wanting some apples, Mistress. Didn’t think it was hardly worth mentioning.” Stevan said, meekly.

“It almost cost him his life.” Xena pointed at the drover on the floor. “Next time, follow my rules or I’ll chuck you off the cliff, understand?”

He stared at the drover, and gave her a shaken nod. “Aye, Mistress.”

“Get him out of here.” Xena ordered the wagon master.  Then she turned and regarded the soldier on the floor. “Now, what do I do with you?” She pondered. “What do I do with a moron like you who has no discipline, and is an idiot to boot?”

After a moment, she turned and tossed Gabrielle back her staff. She studied her face for a moment. “Want to go get a drink?”

Gabrielle understood. She caught the staff and curled her hands around it, drawing in a slow breath. Then she shook her head.

Xena accepted the answer. She turned and flexed her hands, running over her options. So little time, so many possible tortures. The queen sighed. “What kind of fun am I in the mood for today?”

Then a funny thing happened. Xena slowly tilted her head to one side. She was very surprised to realize that she really had no urge to spend her time out here, punishing a man who meant nothing to her. Her real want was to go and relax on her furs with Gabrielle.

Bad?

Well. Xena acknowledged. There was nothing to say that she couldn’t have it all. “Strip him and tie him up outside.”

“Mistress, it’s snowing.” Brendan had arrived, though he’d remained quiet until now. “He’ll freeze t’death fore morning.”

“Good.” Xena said. “If he doesn’t, maybe he’s worth something.” She kicked him in the butt, spinning him around as he lay groaning. “Leave his leggings and boots on.”

“Aye, Mistress.” Brendan nodded. “I’ll take care of it for ye.”

“I bet you will.” Xena gave him a look. “This crap happens again, I won’t be so nice next time.”  She turned and walked past Gabrielle, heading back to her secluded spot.

Gabrielle paused, watching the drover be lifted to his feet. Her eyes met his. She smiled briefly. He reached a shaky hand up and touched his forehead, then limped off with Stevan towards where the rest of the servants were clustered, waiting.

“Damn.” The man who had his kit stolen murmured, running a hand through his hair. “Never figured it that way.”

“That’s why she’s the queen, and you ain’t but a mongrel dog.” Brendan shoved him back. “G’wan out of my way. You’ve caused enough trouble tonight.”

Gabrielle watched them drag the other soldier towards the cave entrance, his boots clattering on the ground. Then she turned and followed Xena’s steps, her head bowed in deep thought.

**

Continued in Part 17

Shadows of the Soul

Part 17

It was still snowing the next morning. They filed out of the cave anyway, prodded by Xena determination that no storm was going to block their passage one candlemark longer.

Gabrielle glance to her right as they came out, immediately sorry she had done so. The man Xena had ordered put out the night before had died, and his frozen body was hanging from a couple of strips of rawhide wedged in the rocks.

As they passed, he swung stiffly against the stone, and she forced her eyes down and away from his glassy eyed face.

Xena didn’t give him so much as a second glance. She led her big stallion down the path and paused at it’s intersection with the main track, now covered in a layer of snow. As she stood watching, snowflakes peppered her dark hair, making her toss her head to rid herself of them.  She waited for a cluster of bodies to form up behind her before she crossed onto the track and turned up slope, her boots crunching the fresh snow with an audible rasp.

No one else moved. Gabrielle glanced around, puzzled, until she realized they were waiting for her to go first. “Sorry.” She eased forward. “C’mon, Patches, let’s go.” She led her pony after Xena, watching him pick his route carefully on the slippery rocks. Her boots found solid purchase though, and she went a little more confidently as they started to move uphill.

She tried not to think about the man they’d left behind, but it was hard. He hadn’t been nice, and he’d almost gotten someone killed, but still…  Gabrielle exhaled, her breath appearing in a soft cloud before her. Still, he’d just been mean and stupid, after all. Was that really any reason to die?

Was there really any reason at all to die, unless you had to?

With a slight shake of her head, Gabrielle leaned forward and moved a little faster, just about catching up with Xena as they came to a slight bend in the path. She walked in the queen’s shadow, keeping her head down as the snow peppered her with a frosty coating.

They climbed for candlemarks in relative silence, the sound of the horses feet and the wagon’s wheels rumbling up all around her as they walked into a world slowing into a white, cold sleep.

Gabrielle lifted her hand and rubbed her nose, the tip of it beginning to go  a bit numb from the cold. Her hands were starting to ache as well, and she tucked them under her cloak once she’d warmed her face up. Ahead of her, Xena was striding along as though she were out for a stroll in the garden and Gabrielle decided to distract herself by studying the queen instead.

She had a really nice walk, the slave decided. It was powerful and very rhythmic, her boots lifting clear of the snow before plowing back into it in an almost march.

Xena was, she was surprised also to note, just a touch bowlegged, and it gave her a hint of a sexy swagger when she walked. She must have spent a lot of the time with her army riding, Gabrielle realized. She also held her upper body differently, shifted just a bit to one side.

She had nice shoulders. Gabrielle could see them moving under her cloak, and they were broad enough to hold the garment neatly in place without it’s sliding back.

As she walked, her head was constantly in motion, a steady scanning back and forth as she broke the trail and led them upward.  That was amazing, really – she had expected soldiers to surround the queen out here in the wilderness and instead it seemed the other way around. Xena was the one who everyone looked to for protection.

She was, in all senses, a leader.

Gabrielle exhaled. And leaders sometimes had to do what they had to do, isn’t that what she’d tell you?

With a greater effort, she got closer to the queen, close enough for Xena to sense her presence and glance back at her, lips curving into a smile and revealing white teeth as their eyes met.  “You frozen yet?”

Gabrielle reached up and rubbed her nose again. “Sort of.”  Her eyes were watering from the cold, damp wind blowing down the mountainside.

“That’s the price you pay for being my consort.” The queen told her cheerfully, pointing behind them. “Back there, it’s nice and warm behind all those damn animals.”

The slave looked behind her, then she looked back and Xena. “I’ll take the cold.”  She stated, giving the queen a stolid grin. “Besides, I like to see where I’m going.” She paused. “Where are we going, anyway?”

Xena slowed a trifle and pointed ahead of them. “See that pass up there? That break in the rocks?”

Gabrielle squinted, shading her eyes against the snow. “Um… sort of.”

“Trust me, it’s there.” The queen assured her. “Once we’re through it, we go down hill into the next valley. Weather’ll clear up, and we can get something accomplished.”

“Is that the only way to go there?”

Xena pointed downward. “The road, but that takes a day longer, and you still end up having to go through that damn pass. If we let the snow fill it, we could get trapped.”

“Oh.” Gabrielle didn’t like the sound of that. “Will we get there in time?”

The queen chuckled. “Yeah. It’s only been snowing since last night. Take days of it to fill the pass.”  She flexed her hands, taking a deep breath of the cold air and seeming to revel in the damp discomfort. “Ah, this beats that damn stronghold.”

The slave looked up. “It does?”

Xena kept on walking, her face suddenly thoughtful.

The path got steadily steeper, and Gabrielle found herself breathing hard and conscious of a sweat forming under her clothes despite the chill.  She glanced behind her to see the front row of soldiers stolidly following, the cold betraying their equally strained breaths in streams of fog before them.

That made her feel a little better, especially since Xena didn’t appear to even be exerting herself.

Her legs were shaking badly by the time they reached the pass,  and she found herself very grateful for her walking stick as she leaned on it.  The snow had gotten heavier and now not only her nose, but a good part of her face felt  numb along with her hands.

Xena entered the pass, all her senses alert. The newly fallen snow hid any footprints, but she tilted her head up to catch the wind, searching out any sounds or smells out of the ordinary.

There were none. The queen continued on, secretly glad to be on relatively level ground. Fit though she was, the walk had strained her energy more than she’d expected and that annoyed her more than she’d readily admit to anyone other than herself.

Not that anyone would dare to ask her, of course.

“You doing okay?” Gabrielle materialized on her right hand side, now that the path was wide enough for them to walk side by side.

Oh well. Almost anyone. “Me? I’m fine. You look like you’re about to keel over.” Xena remarked. “Sheep don’t walk much, do they?”

“Not unless they have to.” Gabrielle admitted. “Mostly they just hang out and eat grass. They leave all that mountain climbing stuff to the goats.”  She looked ahead of them, studying the pass. It was long and narrow, and the exit sloped up again before it disappeared over the edge of the mountain. She could readily see that, filled with snow high enough, it could become deadly indeed.

She was glad they’d be through it soon. The high, echoing walls made her faintly apprehensive. Operating on instinct she moved closer to Xena, only just catching herself from taking hold of the queen’s hand. Up here in the pass, the wind had lessened, broken by the tall cliff walls and sent into odd swirls that caught their capes, wrapping them around their legs.

Gratefully, she flexed her hands, raising one to rub at her face as it started to tingle with renewed feeling. “Brr.”

“Cold?” Xena asked.

Gabrielle peeked up at her, unsure if it was a serious question. How could she not be?

Without missing a step, Xena leaned over and caught her jaw, kissing her with frank, full out passion. After an endless moment, she released her slave and straightened, licking her lips and making a pleased noise.

Gabrielle stumbled, then caught herself as a thundering flush of blood warmed every inch of her. The sudden passion was stark, and very unexpected, and her guts ignited in a desire to continue the contact regardless of the circumstances.

“Warmer now?” Xena asked, with a smirk.

The slave swallowed, holding down her surprisingly aggressive libido. “Um.. yes, thanks.”

The queen chuckled, then slowly, her laughter faded as something… tickled her senses, bringing a faint warning from a source she hadn’t quite located yet.  She slowed, and lifted her hand, clenching her fist tightly over her head.

The men behind her stopped short and went still. Only the wagons creaked for a moment more as the drivers pulled the cart horses to a halt, and then it went quiet.

Xena felt a sudden knot in her guts.  Even as the first yell went up she knew she’d just walked into a trap and her hand was going for her sword as she let out a bellow of warning.

All at once, the pass was full of chaos. Above them on the walls, heads appeared and a rain of stones and debris headed down onto them.

Xena grabbed Gabrielle by the front of her cloak and pushed her against the wall behind her, yelling out orders as she did so. The soldiers responded rapidly, throwing themselves against the stone and jumping to take cover under the wagons.

“Guard the rear!” The queen bellowed.

“No! Mistress! There!” Brendan let off a crossbow bolt at the ledge overhead, and pointed ahead of them. “Look!”

Xena looked. Coming down the pass from the other side was a legion of armored men. The only thing between them, and her soldiers – between them and Gabrielle, was her.

And it got very quiet for Xena, as things seemed to slow around her, giving her time to understand what as about to happen, a feeling of disappointment swamping over her as she realized there was no one to blame for the place she found herself in but her.

It was almost peaceful, knowing that.  She had lived by her own rules, after all.

“All right!” Xena broke out of the knowledge. “Everybody turn, and RUN!”

“They’ll cut us down!”  One of the men nearest her shouted, as the legion began to come in range, and crossbow bolts started to fly.

“NO they won’t. “ Xena gave him a shove, as the men started to move. “MOVE IT! NOW!!!!”

A handful of her soldiers knelt by the wagons and fired up at the walls, desperately trying to keep it clear as the servants near the back started to stumble back towards the inner pass walls.

Xena whirled, judged the oncoming men, then she half turned and grabbed Gabrielle, shoving her after the last of the soldiers.  “Go on!”

Gabrielle was scared half to death. She felt arrows whizzing by her, and almost screamed when Xena plucked one out of mid air right before her eyes. She held on to the queen’s cloak, desperate not to be separated from her. “You should go first! You’re the queen!”

Xena backed, holding her in the circle of one arm, her eyes darting back and forth, judging distance and angles. “I want you to go with Brendan.”

“No.”

“Gabrielle.” Xena yelled at the top of her voice. “GO!”  She shoved back against the moving men, knocking arrows out of the air with her sword.

“I’m staying with you.”

Xena slashed expertly, saving both their lives in a blink of an eye. “I’m not going.” She told Gabrielle harshly. “I’m going to hold the pass so the rest of you can GET THE HADES OUT OF HERE.”  She pushed Gabrielle away. “SO GO!”

Gabrielle slammed against the backs of two men, hearing the screams, smelling the blood, feeling the carnage.  “No.”

“I SAID GO!” Xena was at the end of her patience. The men were almost within range, and they were near the pass. She grabbed Gabrielle and lifted her, tossing her towards the opening. “Brendan, take her out!”

She put her back to the pass and dug her boots in, weaving a net of steel around herself as the arrows now focused on her. The men saw her, and a bloody yell went up.

A yell for her blood.

The warrior that lived inside Xena woke. It was almost a relief as she felt the feral energy rise, and she came to grips with the knowledge that no matter how good she was, she would not survive this fight.

But that was all right. Her men would.

Gabrielle would.

Maybe Gabrielle would tell everyone about it. Maybe she’d end up a hero after all.

Xena almost laughed.   She heard the last of the wagons roll back through the pass  and she slid backwards, putting herself squarely in the middle of the opening.   Legs braced, she let out a wild battle roar and pointed her sword towards the oncoming me. “Come and get me, boys. It’s a great day to die.”

Just like the oracle had told her.  Xena spared her fate a smile. Let anyone into your heart, and it will destroy you, Xena. It will be your end.

He’d been right. Xena readied herself, moving her hands so fast her sword was only a blur to keep the arrows off her.

Stupid bastard just hadn’t bothered to mention it would be worth dying for.

The first line reached her.

“Goodbye, muskrat.”  Xena whispered, then gave herself over to the killing.

**

“No!”  Gabrielle struggled in Brendan’s arms as they bolted through the pass. “Let me go!”

“Easy, girl!” The soldier panted. “She’ll be after us in a bit, just giving us some running room, that’s all.”

Gabrielle arched her head, keeping Xena’s figure in sight. She saw the queen set herself, digging the heels of her boots in  as she prepared for the onslaught heading right for her.  There were at least fifty men bearing down on her, not speaking of the ones on the wall and something inside Gabrielle told her no matter how incredible a fighter Xena was, there were just too many of them.

She started struggling again, throwing her body weight to one side and knocking Brendan off balance. “LET ME GO!” She yelled right in his ear.  With a wrench that took all her strength, she pulled free of the soldier and started back towards the pass.

“GIRL!” Brendan caught her arm. “C’mon!”

The slave whirled on him. “She needs help! How can you just run away!”

Brendan looked past her. “Gabrielle, it’s all her plan! She’ll be fine!”

“There’s hundreds of them!” Gabrielle pulled free again. “If you want to run, go on. I’m going back to fight with her.”

“Gods.” The soldier grabbed hold of her cloak. “That’s the last t… girl! Use your head! It’s the queens orders! She wants you safe!”

Desperate, Gabrielle untied the cloak and stripped out of it, freeing herself. She bolted up the path, barely aware of Brendan clambering after her. She got to the top, half afraid to look when he caught up to her.  He reached out to grab her again but she slipped past him and searched anxiously for the queen, finally finding her tall form almost obscured in a sea of lethal steel.

The men on the walls were climbing down, yelling in triumph.

“Damn.” Brendan whispered. “They don’t care about all of us.”

“No.” Gabrielle’s heart sank. “They just want to kill her.”  She started forward. “Go on. Run and save yourself.”

“Gabrielle!” For the last time, he grabbed her arm.

She turned and looked him in the eye. “I know where my place is.” Her finger pointed to the melee. Then she pushed off from the rocks and started to run.

**

It would be an interesting death. Xena lifted a boot and kicked one man back, ducking another’s sword while she slammed her body against the spear butt of a third.  Already the ground was dark with blood around her.

So far, she’d held her own, and it was really pissing them off. Xena laughed and ducked another swing, whipping her dagger out and plunging it into the man’s gut, yanking it back out accompanied by a shower of hot blood.

None of them had gotten past her.

Xena killed another man, and took a vicious kick to the side before she realized none of them were even trying.  It almost made her stumble as the knowledge settled over her, the understanding that she’d walked, almost ran into a trap specifically set for her.

It made her so mad she cut off the head of the attacker closest to her, a yell of pure rage escaping from her throat.  A surge behind him pushed against her, and she felt a moment of self disgust. Her sword faltered just for an instant, and she nearly lost her life for it.

Damn it.

She recovered her footing and grimly returned to business, deciding if she was going to die here, caught in a trap she should have seen coming than at least she was going to take a lot of them with her.

She raised both arms and slashed down ward, splitting a man’s head open and wrenching her arms to one side to free her blade from the bone. She ducked to one side, then lashed out to push the nearest two men back, aware of two more coming at her from the back.

Xena dropped to a crouch, and they lunged over her, then another man leaped on her from the side and she got knocked off her feet.

Bad.

She felt hands grabbing at her, and a painful impact against her hip as she rolled under the weight of the men, her leaner, more flexible body giving her an unexpected advantage as she squirmed and kicked anything within reach.

By the skin of her teeth she got free, and pulled herself up next to the rocks just in time to meet a fresh wave of assault.

She put her back to the rock and wrapped her hands around her sword hilt, using it as both weapon and shield as she held her ground against the sea of men attacking her.

The hate was almost palpable. Xena grimly shoved aside a man trying to gut her and pulled her arm free from a ax that left a long, red line on her skin.  The men sensed their growing advantage and shoved forward, pinning her in place as their weapons rose and fell, deflected only by Xena’s skill and a core of strength she’d spent a lifetime building.

But there were limits, even to that.

She saw two men raise crossbows and release them, and in between deflecting a sword and ducking a mace she somehow found time to knock the bolts aside. But it brought her sword out of position and she knew she wouldn’t catch the second set of bolts as the closer one raised his weapon and aimed it at her.

About to pull the trigger, he suddenly jerked and the crossbow went sideways. He lifted his hand to his face and looked around in angry bewilderment.

Xena ducked another blow, sliding to one side and letting the club hit the rock instead. The man pulled his arm back, then he, too, stumbled back and lifted a hand to his head.

She was too busy to really wonder about it. The crowd surged over and against her, and she was fighting for her life in an instant, swamped beneath a wave of stench, and fists, and weapons that thumped against her body .

On the edges of her awareness, she could hear a voice yelling, it’s tones striking a chord inside her that made her frantically kick and shove back against the men, clearing some fighting room around her as her eyes swept around her.

Searching.

**

Gabrielle rounded the edge of the rocks and skidded to a stop, facing the sea of angry men in a moment of consternation.  Her frantic desire to be at Xena’s side drove her on, but now that she’d gotten this close, what was she supposed to do to help? She didn’t even have  her stick, not that she’d really know what to do with it.

Desperate, she looked around and then darted forward, to gather an armful of rocks as she raced forward. Getting closer, she started pelting the men with the stones, aiming and letting go with a skill she’d never thought she’d ever have to use for anything more than amusement.

Fear gave her strength.  She grabbed every rock she could get her hands on and kept throwing them at the crowd, despairing of having any effect at all.

One of the men she hit turned and spotted her. He lifted his sword and came at her with an angry yell, and she found herself facing an ugly death in an instant.  With a yelp, she threw a last rock at him and ducked out of the way just in time to avoid being sliced in half.

“Bitch!” The man whirled and hacked at her again. Gabrielle scrambled up onto a rock and jumped over it, landing in nearly a sprawl as her boots slipped out from under her.

It saved her life. The man’s sword smashed into the rock over her head so hard he dropped it, the heavy metal weapon thumping over Gabrielle’s shoulders and landing on the ground. Instinctively, she grabbed hold of it and half crawled, half ran out of his grasp, running smack into the back of a man who had just swung around and slammed his mace into something.

With a yell of triumph he lifted his hands with the weapon clasped in them and arched  his back, ready to deliver a second blow, this one with far more power than the last.

Gabrielle staggered back, realizing the man hadn’t even felt her, he was so huge. She drew a breath, then her vision cleared and she saw what he was about to hit.

Xena was pinned to the rock by at least six men, her sword arm held by sheer weight as she lifted her free hand in a doomed attempt to protect her head from the mace.

“XENA!!!” Gabrielle felt the name ripped from her throat.

As if in slow motion, the queen’s eyes flashed to her face in shock, as Gabrielle did the first thing that came to her mind and she threw what she had in her hands towards the man.

A laugh. Bitter.

Xena’s hand caught the hilt of the sword and in just that breath she drove it into the mace wielder’s body, her arm swinging in an underhand motion that still had enough power to bury the weapon to it’s hilt in his chest.

The man toppled forward, dropping his mace but slamming his body against Xena and taking her down under the cursing, struggling men. She battled to free herself, shoving against the rock almost oblivious to the blows raining down on her.

She got an arm free again and clawed at the air, hitting armor and blood and gore as she was borne to the ground by the sheer weight of numbers, touching at last a hand that clasped hers back with desperate strength.

She heard her name, heard the fear and the pain in Gabrielle’s voice and knew in that moment that she’d finally found that one, rare instance of true loyalty that proved her lifelong rule.

Irony, thy name is Xena.

A crushing blow hit her in the back of the head, and it went dark, so fast she didn’t even have time to hurt.

“NO!” Gabrielle gripped the hand that had gone slack in hers, slipping and falling on the bloody stone as the men started to wrestle and cheer so loudly they didn’t hear the sound of the crossbows and neither did she.

All she cared about was that the bodies were shifting, moving away and letting her get to the limp, bloodied figure lying still and battered on the ground in a pool of rich, spreading red.

She gathered Xena in her arms, not even hearing the renewed sound of battle, or the chaos around her. All she could do was hold her, cradling the queen’s head against her chest and whispering her name over and over and over again.

“Hey.”

Almost choking in shock, Gabrielle looked down incredulously, to see just the tiniest sliver of blue eye looking back at her from the mass of dirt and blood.

Trembling, it winked ever so faintly.

The battle moved past them, as Xena’s men shoved the raiders back with a desperate charge, just enough to surround the pair near the rocks and pull them both to fragile safety before falling again into a frantic retreat.

**

It was dark, and it was cold, and she was very, very scared. Gabrielle sat with her back to the rocks, Xena’s body cradled in her arm as she heard the soldiers making a desperate attempt to protect their position.

They had fallen back to the cave, but the attacking men had found them and it seemed only a matter of time before their far greater numbers overran the hastily thrown up blockade across the cave entrance.

She had no torch. Only a bit of a tallow candle sat on the ledge nearby, giving her just enough light to see the battered face she was trying to wash off with a bit of cloth moistened from her waterskin.  They had carried Xena in here, three men whose attitude despite the chaos was heartbreakingly reverent to the limp form they gently put down within the circle of her arms.

They knew she was dying.

Gabrielle knew it. She could hear the queen’s breathing growing more labored, and the sense of desolation growing inside her was only matched by the helplessness she felt as all she could do is comfort the woman with meager skill.

She leaned over and kissed Xena’s forehead. “I love you.” She whispered. “Please don’t leave me.”

The dark lashes quivered, ever so lightly.  After a breathless moment, Xena opened her eyes and looked up at her.

It was like nothing Gabrielle had ever felt.  All the dark cynicism was gone, and now all there was in those eyes was a fellow human being, in great pain, whom she loved utterly. “Xena.”

“Tol..ja to run.” Xena whispered.

“And I told you I’d stay by you, no matter what.” Gabrielle felt a tear roll down her face.

A faint smile appeared on Xena’s bloodied face. “Y’did.”

Gabrielle pulled her closer, carefully, but with an intensity of emotion so profound it felt like drowning. She rocked gently back and forth, just loving her.

“Here I was…” Xena uttered “Trying to give ya a decent story…”

Gabrielle started crying, audible sobs shaking her body. “D… don’t want a story.” She stuttered. “J.. just want you.”

Despite the pain, Xena felt a sense of peace she’d never experienced before. She knew herself to be in a state of grace that was as undeserved as it was unexpected, but that didn’t stop her from reveling in it as she lay there in Gabrielle’s arms and understood what it was to be truly loved.

This kid really did. No matter what Xena did, Gabrielle looked past it and delivered to her a very real, and very honest devotion.

The oracle had told her it would never happen.  Xena mentally made a rude gesture, since physically she wasn’t capable of it.  Well, now she could let Charon take her off to Tartarus, now that she had this memory to take with her.

A hiccupping sob made her look up again. Through the faint candlelight, she could see Gabrielle’s face, wet with tears, tensed with an anguish that clutched at her heart unexpectedly. “Hey.”

Gabrielle just hugged her more tightly.

“C’mon.” Xena managed to get out. “You c’n go be a famous bard now.”

“No.” The slave gasped. “No..no..no….”

It made Xena feel sad. She knew she was dying. She knew Gabrielle knew it. She was ready for it, Hades, with the pain she was feeling, she would welcome it. Happened to everyone, didn’t it?  She’d lasted longer than she’d though she would, and gone higher than anyone had ever expected.

She’d done it all.

So why be sad?  There were worse ways to die than fighting like Ares chosen one, holding off a whole damn army, wasn’t there?

Gabrielle stroked her cheek gently with trembling fingers. “Don’t leave me.”

Don’t leave her? Xena gazed up into the bloodshot green eyes above her. Oh. Right. She’s a slave. She’ll have a problem, won’t she? “D’on worry.” The queen whispered. “I’ll free ya. They won make ya do dishes.”

Gabrielle just started crying harder.

The pain was becoming overwhelming. Xena rested her cheek against Gabrielle’s breast, and just wished it was over. It was getting difficult to breathe, and she thought it would be better if she just…

Gave in.

“Xena.”

Damn kid.  “Yeah?’

“I love you.” Gabrielle said, in a broken voice. “I don’t want to live without you.”

Through the pain, Xena examined the words. “Oh.” She managed to get out. ‘S’gonna be a problem.”

Gabrielle cleaned the blood off her face again, and they both fell silent as the sound of fighting drifted in from the outer chamber. Grunts, and the clash of steel sounded suddenly loud, and ominous.

“Then ag’in.. maybe not.” Xena mumbled.

Gabrielle lifted her head, turning it to watch the shadows against the wall. It occurred to her suddenly what Xena meant – that they both might die here, as the men were overrun by their attackers.

She should be afraid, she knew that. But rather than fear, a sense of almost relief came over her, and her panic calmed at the very thought.

“Y’e’ll never take us!” Brendan’s voice was suddenly loud, filling the cavern. “For our mistress! Yeahhhhhhaaaa!!!!!!!!”

Xena exhaled, her fingers twitching lightly.

“They love you too.” Gabrielle said. “They came back for us.”

Idiots.  Xena felt her eyes closing against her will, and the noise faded into a soft echo as the sound of Gabrielle’s heartbeat overcame it.

**

Brendan leaned against the rock, wiping blood off his face. The front of his armor was slashed, and he was limping.  “Sent em off, for now.” He told Gabrielle.

The slave looked up, a damp cloth in her hand as she finished cleaning off Xena’s wounds for the nth time. “Are you all right?”

The old soldier limped over and lowered himself to one knee next to her. “I’ll live.” He peered at the queen. “How is she?”

Xena’s eyes were closed, and her skin was pale. She lay in Gabrielle’s lap, her chest moving so slightly he had to nearly put his hand on her to detect it. “Ah, lass.”

“She’ll be okay.” Gabrielle smoothed the dark hair back with a loving gesture. “She just needs some rest.”

Brendan looked at her with gentle pity. “Gabrielle.” He put a hand on her shoulder. “I’m glad she knew ye.”

A tear rolled down the slave’s face. “Don’t say that. Don’t give up on her.”

The soldier touched her cheek, taking the tear away with his fingers. “They’re out there, figgering how to come back at us, little one. Men’r getting some food and water.. I’ll bring some in here for ye.”

“Bring some for her, too.” Gabrielle insisted, stubbornly.  “Can’t we call for help? We’re not that far form home.”

Brendan exhaled. “Sent a boy down the road first off, lass. The gods only know if he got far. I don’t.”  He stood up wearily. “Be a long night.”

Gabrielle nodded, rinsing out her cloth and continuing her patient work. “How… how about if I tell you a story, Xena. Would you like that?”  She asked, her eyes searching the queen’s face for even a flicker of response. “I’ll try to think of a really good one. I know you don’t like silly stories.”

One of the soldiers came back and set down a small, rude wooden dish with some fruit and dried meat in it, and a skin of water. He put his hand over his chest, then left without speaking.

Gabrielle shifted, putting her cloth down and picking up the water skin. She uncapped it and took some, feeling an almost shiver when the cool liquid hit her empty belly.  Then she put the skin down and stroked Xena’s bangs back, damp from her careful cleaning of the hideously swollen, bruised lump on the side of her head.

Otherwise, her injuries, though numerous, did not seem all that bad. There were cuts and scrapes all up and down her arms, and two places where something sharp, arrows or knives Gabrielle wasn’t sure, had penetrated her torso.  It was the head injury that….

Gabrielle closed her eyes. That was killing her.  The thought haunted her, then with a fierce determination, she put it out of her mind, and gently tried to wake Xena again. “Xena?”

Did her eyelid move? Or was it just wishful thinking?

“Xena? Please… “ Gabrielle eased her thigh up a trifle, raising the queens’ head. “C’mon, I’ve got some really great water here. I know you’d like some.”

There was no answer.

“Xena?”  Gabrielle carefully parted the queen’s lips, and with agonizing slowness, trickled some water into her mouth.  “C’mon.”   As the liquid reached the back of Xena’s throat, she swallowed reflexively. “That’s it… great. How about some more?”

The still face remained blank.

Gabrielle leaned over, and kissed her, putting all the emotion she was feeling into the act. She felt the lips under hers warm slowly, and tasted the faint breaths emerging from between them. She sent her own life’s breath back, imagining all her love carried on it.

Then she lifted her head, and started trickling the water again, just a bit, just a tiny few droplets every time.

It took a long time, but that was all right. She wasn’t going anywhere.  “Xena?”  She called at last, willing the queen to respond, convincing herself that the pale face had moved ever so slightly.

That the jaw had clenched, just a little.

That the nostrils had flared, and cupped the air in deeper breaths.

Unexpectedly, the blue eyes opened and gazed up at her. “Still ‘ere?”

Gabrielle felt a smile spread across her face. “I was giving you a drink.” She held up the waterskin. “Would you like some more?”

Faintly, Xena nodded.

The slave shivered in barely felt hope, and lifted the skin up. She touched the spout to Xena’s lips, but the queen slowly lifted her hand and shifted it aside, then knotted her fingers in Gabrielle’s shirt and pulled with scant force instead.

For a moment, Gabrielle was puzzled, then as the pressure increased, she realized what Xena was doing and almost laughed.  Then she leaned over and they resumed kissing, holding the darkness at bay at least for a little while.

**

“Given up for the night.” Brendan told her. “Tried pitching some fireballs in here, but we’d wetted the blockade down, and they didn’t do more than outline theyselves for us to pick em off. “  He said, crouching down next to where Xena was laying.

Gabrielle had gotten the queen’s furs, and made her as comfortable a nest as she was capable of. Xena’s head was now resting on one of her silk pillows, and she had a soft blanket tucked around her. The queen’s eyes were closed, but as Brendan leaned closer, he could tell her breathing was a touch easier than it had been.

Gabrielle had gotten up and stretched her body out, and she was now curled up next to Xena, chewing on the dried meat he’d left earlier.   The girl was obviously exhausted, both physically and mentally, but she showed no signs of wanting to give up her vigil over the queen’s sleeping form.

“Will they attack in the morning?” Gabrielle asked him.

“Aye, probly.” Brendan sighed. “They know it, we know it, can’t keep em out forever.” He looked apologetically at Gabrielle. “Just stringing it along, lass.”

She nodded slightly. “I’ll take any time I can get.” She admitted in a hoarse voice. “Because you never know, Brendan. Good things could happen.”

Brendan patted her hand. Then he got up and left the little alcove, shaking his head slightly as he disappeared.

Gabrielle knew what he was thinking.  But she didn’t really care.  What did she have to lose by hoping, and thinking good thoughts? Would it make it any better to be gloomy?

No. She decided. Besides, she had promised Xena she would tell her a story. So now she had to think of a really good story to tell her.  She thought about it as she finished off the dried meat, and swallowed several mouthfuls of water.

That made her consider something else. She got up, a little surprised at how stiff and sore she was, and picked up the water skins.  Looping their cords over her shoulder, she eased around the stone wall and emerged into the main cavern.

Everyone looked at her.  Gabrielle had become used to that, but though she was tired she realized this time was different.  Several of the soldiers came over to her and offered to take the skins and fill them, and two of the servants brought more food, including a small pot of what looked like plain soup.

“Thanks.” Gabrielle accepted all of it. “I think I could get her Majesty to have some of this.”

The woman blushed. “Is the mistress doing some better then, m’lady?”

“Just Gabrielle.” The slave gave her a kindly smile. “It’s hard to say, but I think so. Thanks for asking.”  She waited for the soldier to come back with her filled skins and returned to Xena’s side, anxious until she saw the steady rise and fall of her queen’s chest.

Then she settled back down onto the small pile of furs she’d tucked next to Xena and got back to the business of caring for the queen, and thinking of a story.  She had no sooner gotten comfortable when Xena shifted slightly, and woke up. “Hi.”

The blue eyes tracked to her face, full of pain. They brightened when they recognized her, though, and that made Gabrielle smile. She reached over and touched Xena’s cheek, encouraged by the lessening of it’s former clammy feeling. “Brandon says they’ve stopped coming for us until morning, he thinks.”

Xena watched her with a quiet sadness. “Won’t keep em off long.”

“You never know, Xena. After all, you were keeping them all off for a really long time.” Gabrielle objected earnestly. “Maybe they’ll get tired, or get cold…”

The queen’s lips pressed together into an almost smile.

“Why think about the worst, when you can think about the best?”

Xena exhaled, just a little. “Cause the worst usually happens.”

“I don’t care.” Gabrielle stroked her cheek gently. “I thought I had the worst thing happen to me, and it turned out to be the best.” Her jaw squared stubbornly. “So there.”

This time Xena did smile, and she shook her head, just a tiny bit. “Nutty muskrat.” She reached a hand out for the waterskin, then let it fall as Gabrielle scooped it up instead and offered the spout to her. She sucked the cool liquid, her swallows sounding loud in the quiet space.

“Are you feeling any better?” Gabrielle asked, in a soft voice.

The look in Xena’s eyes could only be described as wry. “Well.” She licked a drop of water off her lower lip. “I’m not dead.”

Gabrielle took hold of her hand and squeezed it.  “I was just going to tell you a story.”

“Ahh.” Xena nodded a trifle.  Good a way as any to pass the time, she reasoned. If she hadn’t died yet from her head wound, it was likely she wouldn’t, not that it would do her any good. The minute the army outside broke in, they’d kill her in a heartbeat.

Kill Gabrielle too, since the kid would probably do something stupid like try to protect her.

Xena exhaled. Least it would be fast.

Dying in battle would have made a Hades of a better tale, though.  The queen mused. Rather than lying here having to think about what an idiot she’d been to fall into a trap like this and get them all killed. At least if she’d died in the pass, and they’d escaped…..

Ah well.  Xena looked up at her caretaker. The candlelight’s flicker revealed Gabrielle’s dirt smudged face, a long scrape marring one cheek. The rims of her eyes were still swollen and reddened, and as the queen watched, she blinked in evident exhaustion. “Hey.”

Gabrielle looked at her in question.

“Take a nap.” The queen ordered.

“I…”

“Ah ah.” Xena whispered. “Lie to the queen, and I cut your tongue off.”

Gabrielle’s eyes dropped, and she hesitantly allowed a grin to shape her lips.

Xena patted the furs over her belly. “Head down.”

Obediently, for once, the slave curled up on her side and did as she was told. They gazed at each other down the length of Xena’s torso. “If I go to sleep…” Gabrielle asked. “Will you be here when I wake up?”

That look was almost too much for Xena to handle. “I’ll be here.”

Trustingly, Gabrielle gave in and closed her eyes, her body relaxing almost immediately, except for the fingers she had clasped around Xena’s hand.

Xena lay there for a while, merely watching her sleep as she reconciled a life changing experience she hadn’t even been aware of.

She was, she realized, no longer responsible for only herself.  Her wants, her desires, her choices.  Hades, she couldn’t even just die if she wanted to, because all that bloody damned mattered to this little scrap of a shepherd’s kid, just barely a woman, who was sleeping on top of her.

And Gabrielle’s dying mattered very much to Xena.  She didn’t want that to happen.

So.

Xena’s eyes lifted to the cavern ceiling, lost in darkness above her. How do we get out of here?

The minutes lengthened as she thought.

**

Gabrielle woke, to find Xena and Brendan talking in low voices next to her.  She was still lying with her head on Xena’s belly, and the queen’s hand was still clasped in hers, Xena’s thumb rubbing idly against her fingers.

Brendan nodded, and got up, bowing before he disappeared around the corner of the rock, leaving them alone again.

She had no idea how long she’d been sleeping, but she felt a lot better. Her head was no longer throbbing, and her eyes no longer felt on fire. In the ear she had resting against the furs over Xena, she could hear the queen’s heartbeat and for a long moment she merely listened to it.

She had dreamed lightly, the details already fading of a green, well lit meadow and her running through it.  It wasn’t something she thought she’d ever done, but she remembered laughing, and a sense of giddiness that made her smile now in reflex.

Xena noticed. “Ah.” Her tone seemed stressed. “You’re awake.”

“Hello.” Gabrielle cleared the huskiness from her voice. She noticed that the queen looked very tired. Her eyes were drifting open and closed, and there was a crease of pain across her brow. “How are you doing?”

The queen remained silent for a few breaths. Then she frowned a trifle. “Not real good.”

Gabrielle sat up and scooted forward. “Can I help? She asked. “Is there something in your bag, or…”

Xena let her head rest against the pillow. “Nothing that’d help this.” She admitted. “Listen.” Her hand closed on Gabrielle’s a little tighter. All trace of her normal mocking humor were absent. “Some of the men found a passage, way in the back. Got no idea where it goes.”

Gabrielle exhaled, watching her face intently.

“Don’t have time to check it out. We either take it, or we stay here and wait for them to starve us out or kill us.” Xena said.

“Can’t we fight them? Xena, you held them off..”

“I can’t fight.” The admission itself seemed painful. Certainly, Xena paused after she said it. “They’ve got five men to every one of mine. We’re nearly out of arrows, and we’re low on supplies.”

“Oh.” The slave murmured. “So that’s our best choice?”

“It’s our only choice.” Xena said. “But I’m gonna give you one other. You can stay here, behind those rocks. They won’t see you.” Her eyes searched Gabrielle’s face. “Stay. Live. You don’t have to go into that hole with us.”

Gabrielle took a breath to answer, but paused when Xena held out a strip of parchment to her. Mechanically, she took it, her eyes questioning.

Xena waited, patiently.

The slave unfolded the parchment and looked at it, reading the words several times before the penetrated. She looked up at Xena.

“You’re a free person.” The queen said. “You don’t have to die here.”

Gabrielle’s face contracted, an expression of hurt bewilderment appearing on it. “You want me to leave you?”

For her own sake, Xena knew what the answer to that should be. There was no need for both of them to go into that darkness. The soldiers.. they would go with her because they had no options. Any of them going outside now would be killed, regardless of if they surrendered or not.

They were Xena’s men.

Yet, looking into Gabrielle’s eyes, seeing that hurt, stabbed her deep where she hadn’t expected it. Right or not, she found she couldn’t lie to her. “No.” Xena told her. “But I do want you to have a life, Gabrielle. That means something to me.”

She wondered if the sound of a part of her fracturing could be heard outside her own heart. It had been so seldom in her life that she’d put her own wants aside for someone else’s, and now that she felt the pain of it, she understood why.

Gabrielle seemed to understand what she was trying to say. She examined the parchment again.

“You can leave after they come in and figure out we’re gone. They’ll either come after us, or leave. Go down the valley.” Xena told her. “Back to that first town. Give them the note. They’ll take care of you.”

She spared a moment to imagine the girl back in a world she understood, away from the dangers of Xena’s court, and the thought brought a sad smile to her face.  “Name one of your kids after me.”

“My kids?” Gabrielle whispered mechanically.

“Hey.. you’d never have any with me, so..”  Xena attempted a faint joke. “Point for freedom, huh?”

Freedom.  Gabrielle inhaled, thinking hard about what that meant to her.  She compared it soberly to what Xena meant to her.  She thought about all the things Xena had taught her, in so short a time, and she thought about her future.

Xena watched her in silence.

Finally, Gabrielle reached over and held the parchment up over the candle flame, blinking a little as it caught fire and burned. She let the last scrap loose as the red line reached her fingertips and it fluttered to the stone floor with only the tiniest scattering of gilded sparks.

For a long moment, she just looked at the curled, blackened remains. Then she turned and met Xena’s eyes. ‘Thank you.”

The queen’s lips twitched.

“I guess that didn’t make much sense.” Gabrielle admitted. “Maybe I’m just not… I don’t think… “ She fell silent for a minute. “I’d rather stay with you, even it if means crawling into some old black hole and never coming out.”

Xena blinked several times. “You’re right.” She sighed. “That doesn’t make much sense.” Her brows contracted together. “You sure?”

Now, Gabrielle smiled. “I’m sure.”

“You’re a nitwit.”

“I know.” Gabrielle gazed down at her folded hands. “But I’m a happy nitwit.”

The queen covered her hands with her own. “All right, my friend. Then get your stuff together. They’ll be in here to pick my useless ass up and start moving any second.”

Gabrielle leaned over and hugged her.

Xena accepted the hug, glad that the dim light and Gabrielle’s position kept her from seeing the sudden tears that stung her eyes.

**

Gabrielle kept her hand firmly clasped on the edge of the litter Xena had been lain on. The darkness was already closing around them – the soldiers had doused the lights in the main cavern and they were all shuffling through the narrow passageway towards the hole one of the men had found.

She was scared.  She wasn’t the only one either, she could hear the soft cries of some of the servants who had chosen as she had to go into unknown rather than stay behind and suffer the mercy of the attackers.

They moved forward and now she could see the inky black hole they were heading for. Her knees started to shake, and she tried to keep her terror under control.

A hand touched hers, and she nearly leaped into the low rock ceiling before she realized it was Xena.  Fingers curled around her wrist.  “Still sure?” The queen’s voice softly emerged from the shadows.

Gabrielle borrowed some of Xena’s courage and took a steadying breath.  She watched Brendan stoop to enter the crevice, and her heart started to pound. “Y…yes.” She whispered back. “B… but don’t let go of me, okay?”

Even in the dark, even through the terror, she could sense the smile on Xena’s face.  “Never.” The queen said. “You’re really mine, now.”

It was amazing how warmly reassuring those words could sound, to the right ears. Gabrielle squared her shoulders and swallowed her fears as the walls closed around them, and they moved off into the blackness of the mountain.

**

Continued in Part 18

Shadows of the Soul

Part 18

Gabrielle found herself shaking as the walls closed in on them.  She tightened her jaw, to keep her teeth from chattering and held on to the edge of Xena’s pallet with a death grip.  She had determined that she would go wherever Xena went, do whatever Xena needed her to do, but determining that and then facing the reality of the darkness was two very different things.

A nightmare screamed through her head, laughing. Gabrielle almost stumbled, then she caught her balance and continued on.

“Hey.”

Xena’s voice coming out of the shadows made her jump. “Y…yes?” Gabrielle stuttered. She leaned over and peered at the queen. “W…wh..”

Xena’s fingers curled around her wrist, feeling incredibly warm. “Where’s my story?”

Story? Gabrielle was seriously wondering if she could even talk at this point, and this woman wanted her to tell a story? “Uh…”

“C’mon, c’mon…I haven’t got all night.” Xena said. “Well, actually, we do have all night, but I’m not just gonna lie here and wait for spiders to hit me in the kisser. So get moving with the story.”

Gabrielle found that focusing her attention on the queen helped her take her mind off the rock walls. She half turned and put her other hand on the pallet edge, composing herself as best she could.  “Um… “

“No sheep.”

A smile found it’s way onto the girl’s face from somewhere.  “Not even one about a funny sheep?” She asked. “I.. kinda thought maybe something sorta light would…”

“Hjmmmmmm….. “ Xena rumbled, low in her throat. “How funny can a sheep be?”

“Well..”

The men carrying her pallet chuckled softly.

“Better be damned funny, cause these guys deserve a laugh for having to carry my carcass around.”  Xena exhaled.

“Tis an honor, Mistress.” The man in back answered. “If I were taking my last breath doing it, would be an honor.”

Xena looked up at him in pensive silence.  Then she turned her head and fastened her eyes on Gabrielle.  “Well, lambchop?”

“Okay.” Gabrielle stole a glance ahead of them. The column was moving very slowly through the narrow corridor, and the gloom seemed to stifle most conversation. Certainly the men and women nearest them had fallen silent, and she felt just the smallest bit self conscious as she cleared her throat and prepared to start her story.  “When I was a little girl..”

“Whoa.”  Xena spoke up.

Gabrielle managed a wry, faint chuckle. “Okay, okay. When I was younger… a LOT younger..”

The men chuckled softly.

“One day I went out to bring the sheep in..”

“To your house? That explains a lot.”

“Xena.” Gabrielle found herself laughing.  “No, not to my house. Into the barn. It was night. It was cold.”

“Thought they had..”

“They were sheared.” Gabrielle got ahead of her.

Xena subsided, a weak smirk on her face. “Okay.” She drawled softly. “So you and the naked sheep did….?”

“Aye yi hi.” The girl shook her head, almost losing track of the story.  “Xena, no – they weren’t naked. They were just shorn. A short haircut. Like his.” Gabrielle pointed at the man carrying the back of Xena’s pallet. “See?”

“Mm.”

“Okay.” Gabrielle shifted her hands a little, then paused as Xena’s grip moved from her wrist to her hand, and their fingers clasped together. She looked down at the queen, and for a moment she saw past the mocking humor to the weary agony behind it.

The humanity of it stunned her.  Instinctively, Gabrielle clasped her other hand over their joined fingers, her body moving mechanically along with the pallet.

Then Xena blinked, and it was gone, replaced by a raised eyebrow and a mildly quirked lip.  “So we’re up to the naked, ugly sheep, and you. Next?”

Gabrielle smiled at her for a brief moment, before she went back to her tale.  Only now she knew why she was telling it.  “One day, I brought the herd in to shelter, to get them out of the cold and give them hay that was left over from the fields.”

And as she told it, she realized many of those around her, who were listening, were nodding a little as the scenes she was describing touched off echoes of memories about their own lives.

Soldiers, yes, but Gabrielle realized these men of war had once been people of the land, just like she was.  Her eyes went to Xena’s face. The queen’s eyes were half closed, and her expression was thoughtful.  “And I counted them again, and what do you know? There was still one extra lamb.” She said. “Now, lambs don’t grow on bushes, so I had to figure out where this lamb came from, and get him back, before someone accused us of stealing him!”

“Ah.. ain’t it the truth.” The man in the front of the pallet chortled softly.

“The problem is, how do you tell which dirty white lamb is the strange dirty white lamb in a herd full of really dirty white lambs?”

“Kill em all, and when you get to one where no mama bleats, that’s him?” Xena uttered.

“Um…”

“Ah..never mind. Waste of wool. I forgot.” The queen smiled. “How did you tell?”

“Well…”  Gabrielle felt the path under her boots slanting downward, and she tried not to think about the fact that she was going deeper and deeper into the earth. “I figured if I fed the mamas, the babies would come to get a drink too, and there’d be one left over.”

“Ah. Clever.”  Xena said. “Same idea, less waste. I like it.”

“So I did.” The girl went on. “I put up a lot of nice hay for the mamas, and they all came to eat it in a row. Then all the lambs came over to get their dinner. But you know what? There wasn’t any left over.”

“Hm.” Xena’s eyebrow lifted.

“But then I realized there was one mama who had two babies under her, and we hadn’t had any twins that year. So I found my lamb.”   She ducked her head as the ceiling came down close, and the rock brushed against her back. “But then he got lost again when I tried to catch him.”

The queen chuckled very softly.

“So I figured… “ Gabrielle pressed closer to the pallet, and swallowed. “So I figured I should mark him with something so I could find him again.”

“Getting tight in here.” The man in back commented. “Careful, storyteller.”

“Yeah.” The girl exhaled, leaning in.

“Ah.. the mountain executes my plan.” Xena whispered, lifting her hand to rub Gabrielle’s belly as it pressed close to her. “I am the master of all I survey, even the rocks.”

They eased past a sharp corner, then the way opened up a little again, and Gabrielle was able to stand upright again.  “Phew.”

“Bummer.” Xena said. “Here I was hoping you’d end up on top of me, and we’d really give these guys something to groan over.”

Gabrielle managed a smile at that. Her fingers tightened around Xena’s, and she took a moment to steady her breathing before she craned her head and looked towards the front of the line. It was dark ahead of them, and she could just barely see the reflection of the torches carried by the six men who had taken the point.

Behind them, the rest of the queen’s retinue stretched, struggling through the uneven corridor as they carried supplies on bent backs.

Squaring her shoulders, Gabrielle shifted into a more comfortable walking position, but kept her hand firmly closed around Xena’s. “So.” She cleared her throat. “I had to find a way to mark the lamb.”

They were definitely going downhill now. Gabrielle felt like the walls were pressing on her, as though for every step she took downward, the air weighed more.  “So I grabbed a bucket of hoof tar…”

Xena made a noise that was a cross between a laugh and a groan.

“Oh, boy.” The man in back started laughing.

Gabrielle grinned slightly. “And me and my brush of tar went to go catch that lamb.”  She continued, catching sight out of the corner of her eye the men and women walking behind them, ears cocked, listening for her next words.

It occurred to her that it wasn’t only fighting that marked someone’s usefulness.  Swords were no use here, but her words were.

Xena had known that. The girl realized, as she gave the queen’s hand a squeeze. Blood shot blue eyes peered up at her, with a warmth all the cavern’s darkness could not dampen.

She didn’t need to prove herself to Xena. Not anymore.  Xena knew.

Gabrielle sighed. Now all they had to do was get out and get home.

Home. It was a shock, really, to realize that she actually considered the queen’s stronghold that way.  Home had always been the small, three room homestead her father had built in Potadeia. The main room, with it’s neatly swept floor, and her mother’s carefully hoarded crockery near the fire, and the two bedrooms, her parents, and the smallest of all, hers and Lila’s.

It had been all she’d known.

Funny, how life was. Gabrielle shook her head. So very funny.

**

“What is it?” Xena felt the pallet slow to a halt, and she lifted her head to see. She immediately regretted the motion and it was only by sheer force of will that she kept herself from retching violently.  She let her head drop back, as Gabrielle left her side and walked forward to find out what was going on.

“Got some problem ahead, Mistress.” The man carrying the rear of her pallet said.

Xena bit back a sarcastic comment, mostly because it would have taken energy she needed not to throw up. Forcing herself to be patient, she waited until Gabrielle came back, sensing the girl’s presence next to her as she knelt.  Slowly, she rolled her head to one side and opened her eyes.

Uh oh. Xena didn’t even need to hear the words. She knew just by looking at the kid. “Blocked?”

A nod. “It… I think some rocks fell down and part of the roof collapsed.”

Figures. “Bring me up there. I wanna see.” Xena directed her bearers. She folded her hands over her stomach as they maneuvered the pallet ahead, the point men pressing back against the walls to let her pass.

The torches revealed a huge mass of granite trouble. Xena studied the slide, mentally ticking off how long they’d been traveling.

Her lip twitched into a wry snarl. “All right. We’ve gotta do this the hard way.” Her eyes studied the line of the rock, and with a mental toss, she threw the dice and hoped she’d guessed right. “Start pitching rocks. Put me down over there, and get moving.”

Without a word, the two pallet bearers did as she asked, setting her down so gently and carefully, she barely felt the contact on her back.  With a grunt, Brendan moved up the line, getting read to direct traffic. “Right, lads. Form up now. We’ll pass em down to the bend, and build us a block behind er.”

Gabrielle moved to get in line, but found her foot held in place. She turned to see Xena watching her, and stepped back. “Shouldn’t I help?”

“No.” Xena said. “Your job is me. C’mere and get to work.”

The girl settled next to her as the men began to move the heavy rocks.  “What if…”

“Sh.”  The queen warned her. “No time for what if’s, Gabrielle. We’ll get through that. Count on it.”  She tried to get a little more comfortable. “Now, you were about to put tar in some place real embarrassing. Spill it.”

Gabrielle drew her legs up under her and rested her elbows on her knees, as she  took a deep, deep breath.

Count on it.

**

Brendan wiped his forehead, his sleeve leaving a grimy streak behind it. He looked ahead of him, peering into the dark hole they were toiling to remove rocks from. They’d made a good dent in it, but there was no sign of the slide ending, and he was starting to wonder if they’d have to tunnel half through the mountain to get out.

His eyes went to the side of the tunnel, where Xena’s battered form lay, Gabrielle sitting quietly next to her holding her hand. If they had to dig through the mountain, then they damn well would.  Brendan watched Gabrielle reach over and smooth Xena’s hair back, a gentle, loving touch that made his throat tight.

Never had anyone touched his mistress so. Not any who’d kept all their bodyparts, that is. The old soldier sighed, and turned to continue his work.  But then, Gabrielle wasn’t like any of the others, was she? The mistress had always gone for big, raunchy types before, ones who were as lusty in life as she was.

This little child?  Brendan glanced back at Gabrielle. Ah. Life surely did surprise one, it did, when least expected.  “C’mon, lads, keep er going.” He directed the line. “We’re gett’n where we need t’be.”

The men in front grunted, and kept passing the rocks back. Fate’s fortune had split the curiously fragile rock into chunks of a size they could move – almost as though they’d been piled there by purpose. Brendan picked up one of the bits and examined it, then he leaned closer to the torch and squinted. “Ah.”

“What?” Xena’s voice was low and strained, but it penetrated the noise of the work.

Brendan walked over and knelt beside her, offering up the rock. “See the side there, mistress?”

Xena lifted a hand and touched the rock, running sensitive fingertips over the edge. “Hammer.”

“Aye.”

The queen nodded. “Thought it looked too planned.” She commented. “Wonder what’s behind it?” Her weary eyes twinkled darkly. “Guess we’re gonna find out.”

Brendan stood up and gave her a brisk nod. “That we will, Majesty.”  He turned and went back to the front of the line, helping to move the rocks a little faster. “C’mon there. Maybe there’ll be more’n a way out to find, eh?”

A tired chuckle answered his words.

Gabrielle looked at the opening with interest. “What does that mean?”

Xena had her eyes closed. Now, she opened one of them and regarded Gabrielle. “Only idiots and people with things to hide put ten meters of rock inside a tunnel.” She said. “Which do you think it was?”

“Hm.” Gabrielle rested her chin on her upraised knees. “What if it’s something you don’t want to find?”

“Like?”

The girl shrugged.  She picked up a waterskin. “Would you like some water?”

“I’d like someone to take my head off with a suitably sharpened pike, but that’d disappoint you, so I guess water’ll do.”  Xena answered. “C’mere.”

Gabrielle carefully lifted the queen’s head up and supported her with one arm, holding the skin to her lips with her other hand. “Does your head hurt?”

For a moment, Xena didn’t answer, then she nodded very briefly.  She sucked on the waterskin, keeping a calm, almost disinterested look on her face.

“Okay, well… let me..” Gabrielle slid her legs under Xena’s upper body and eased her down into her lap, cradling her head in gentle hands. “I wish I could do more.”

Xena considered what the men watching them must be thinking. Here she was, allowing herself to be coddled like a baby,  when they were busy working their tails off.

She regarded the ceiling, and smiled. It was damn good to be the queen, sometimes.  Especially when you had beautiful young women to take care of you.  She closed her eyes and shifted a little, feeling a bit of relief from the growing throbbing inside her skull from the new incline of her body.

Or maybe it was just from the nice cushion she was resting against.  Xena could feel the curve of Gabrielle’s breast  against her cheek, and if she listened carefully, almost hear the thumping of the heart underneath it.

My heart.  Xena allowed herself a tiny smile.

It vanished a moment later, as two of the men near the back of the line came running forward, pushing the men out of the way. “Brendan!” One of them gasped. “I can hear em coming in!”

“Peachy.” Xena opened her eyes, reluctantly. “Better get moving faster, boys. Only one way to go.”

The pace picked up appreciably, and the rocks started flying.

“Did ja block the way back there?” Brendan yelled.

“Mostly, aye!”

“Mostly is not good enough!” Xena lifted her voice, making sure it carried. “You’re only gonna be mostly alive if you don’t do it right!”

Gabrielle felt her throat go dry.  The rising agitation of the men was something she could feel even from where she was, and Xena’s body tensed as well. She noticed that the queen’s hands were now clenching and flexing, and it suddenly occurred to her that if the attackers did break through, it would be a carnage of bloody chaos inside the tunnel.

Her body urged her to flee. She wanted to just pick Xena up and carry her away, through the rocks, past the damned, annoying blockade, out into the free air just as fast as she could.

Of course, none of that was possible.  All she could do is sit there and worry, and hope with all she was that everything would work out and they’d be okay.

Tough work.  Gabrielle exhaled. “Xena, is there…”

“Just sit there.” Xena said, sharply. “You’ll get in their way.”

Though she knew the queen was right, it still stung. “Okay. I was just..”

Xena took hold of her hand and looked into her eyes. “Nobody wants to be outta this place more than I do. It’s killing me having to just lie here. So humor me, huh?”  She muttered the words, in a very low tone.

Gabrielle bit her lip, and nodded. “I understand.”

The blue eyes twinkled faintly. “Do you?”

“I think so.” The girl said. “Nobody can do things as well as you can, so having to let them gets you a little crazy.”

“Oo.” The queen managed a smile. “Good answer.”

Gabrielle gave her a hug, and watched as three men pushed forward, snatching rocks out of the line and rushing off with them. Xena was right about one thing – having to just sit here and watch was almost unbearable. She wanted to be up and helping, and yet…

And yet, she knew her place was right here.  With a sigh, she started gently rubbing Xena’s shoulders, her fingers working on the tense muscles on either side of the queen’s neck.

Off down the way they’d came, she could hear sounds now. Sounds of the men moving rocks, and more ominously, the sound of far off yells, and scrapes.

Was she scared?  Gabrielle thought about that. If the bad guys caught them, she’d most certainly be killed, just as Xena would.

A truth surfaced and she was almost shocked by it.

“Hey.” Xena’s voice interrupted her self revelation.

Gabrielle looked down, into the queen’s eyes. “Yes?”

“Listen.”  Xena whispered. “If this goes bad…” She paused, and her jaw worked a moment before she continued. “Thanks.”

“For what?” The girl answered,  her brow creasing. “I didn’t do anything…well, other than tell  a silly story and hold your head.”

Xena lifted their still joined hands and pressed her lips against Gabrielle’s knuckles. “Thanks for showing me what… being a part of humanity would have been like.”

Tears sprang to Gabrielle’s eyes and spilled over, running down her cheeks.

“Don’t.” The queen said. “It’s a good thing.”

Her throat was so tight, she simply couldn’t speak. Gabrielle gathered Xena into her arms instead, and hugged her. The sounds were getting louder, and the men were getting more frantic, but she pushed all of that out of her mind and focused on just this moment.

Just this woman.

Just this feeling.

Knowing this made death a gentle irrelevance.  Her fear left her, and the sense of frantic impatience and she was left in a pool of caring that had Xena in its center.  She buried her face into the queen’s hair and felt it  flow over her, over them, shutting out the chaos.

“Thanks.” She whispered into Xena’s ear.

“For?”

Gabrielle exhaled shakily. “Everything.”

Xena gazed past her shoulder, experiencing a sense of peace despite the frantic working of the men. She knew the future was out of her hands now, and for the first time in her life she was content to let the Fates cast their capricious dice at her feet, to come up whatever side they willed.

She took a breath, and softly began to sing, just a little song, one she remembered from long ago. It had simple, nonsense words and a rolling tune.

Completely unprofound.

And yet, somehow it fit the moment.

But damned if it didn’t make Gabrielle cry again.

**

“Got through!” Brendan hollered. “Push! Push em in!! Move it!!”

Gabrielle let out the breath she’d been holding for what seemed minutes, since she’d heard the sounds of fighting behind them. She and Xena had both been silent for a little while, the queen simply resting in her arms as they watched the men work.

Now, Xena inhaled and nodded slightly, giving Gabrielle’s arm a tiny rub and a pat. “Okay, muskrat.” She said. “Looks like we’re getting ready to move.”

“Yeah!” Brendan’s shout was echoed by the men next to him. “Git the Mistress! Go! Go!”

Moving quickly, Gabrielle slid out from under Xena and settled her back onto the pallet. She scrambled out of the way as the two pallet bearers raced over, their faces covered in torch soot and bits of rock. They lifted the queen carefully, and started forward.

Gabrielle fell a step behind, biting her lip as she saw the tiny space they had to squeeze through. The men in front were making it larger, but the urgency was forcing the soldiers to just shove their way forward as the sounds behind them grew grimmer.

She slipped through behind the pallet bearers, feeling the scrape of granite against her skin as they passed through a very tight area, then suddenly a gust of cooler air hit her.

Air that smelled of earth, and water, and growing things.  Surprised, Gabrielle sucked in a lungful of it, peering around the shoulders of the man before her to see what lay ahead.

She didn’t have time to look though, as a cluster of bodies shoved up against her back, and she was almost sent sprawling. She grabbed hold of the back of the bearer’s armor and held on as men and women rushed past her, pushing and jostling.

“Hey!” Xena barked hoarsely. “Easy!”

The men carrying her bolted forward, clearing space behind them and rushing through the darkness with fine disregard for their own safety.  Ahead, a torch fluttered, marking the way, and as they ran the tunnel filled behind them with frightened, anxious bodies.

“Fire!”

Gabrielle’s heart clenched.

“Run!”

A woman screamed, just behind her. She could feel heat, coming from that way.  She could feel the panic rising there too. It threatened to overwhelm her.

They would be killed. She could sense it. They all could.

Another scream, this one deeper, and the sound of cloth ripping as a man lost control and started clawing his neighbors.

Gabrielle’s heart raced out of control.

“HOLD IT!”

A voice thundered through them, ringing off the rocks and bringing the very air to a standstill.  Gabrielle obeyed it without question, her eyes widening as the flickering light grew and outlined a tall figure now standing in their midst.

Wavering, but solid. Commanding their attention by a sheer force of will.

Xena drew in another breath. “EVERYBODY LINE UP. SINGLE FILE. AGAINST THE WALL.” She pointed. “NOW!!!!!”

And every one did. Even Gabrielle.

“All right.” Xena looked at all of them. The pallor of her skin was almost invisible in the dim light, all they could see was the glints off her pale eyes as she stood there, legs braced. “Move out, that way. You six, throw everything you got back into that hole.”  Her voice dropped and she looked at Gabrielle. “And you, come here.”

Gabrielle came to stand next to her, shivering a little as the queens’ arm dropped over her shoulders.

“Move.” Xena directed, calmly. “When I tell you to run, RUN.”

The line started to move out. Brendan counted them off, giving each one a shove as they got to the next opening and disappeared through it. “Mistress?” He uttered. “Go.” He hesitated. “If ye can.”

Xena turned and stalked towards the opening, keeping her hold around Gabrielle. “Idiots.”  She muttered.

“Are you okay?” Gabrielle whispered. She could feel the shaking in the body pressed against her, and she wondered for a moment if she was going to have to really give carrying Xena a try.

“No.”  Came the answer. “But someone has to be the queen.”

“Want me to get the…”

“No.” Xena glanced behind them, and almost stumbled. “Just keep moving.”   She saw a growing light the way they’d come and exhaled. “Idiots.”

Gabrielle also looked. “For trying to burn us out?”

“They put so much damn flame down they can’t get through to us.” Xena coughed a short laugh. “If they’d just come after us, we’d be dead by now.”

Oh. Gabrielle struggled on, bearing as much of the queen’s weight on her shoulders as she could. “I can smell grass.” She said, her nose wrinkling as the scent of the outside world came to her again. It was tantalizing, almost taunting her here in the close darkness.

“You can smell freedom.” Xena uttered. “Me too. Gods, I want it. With any luck, we can collapse this damn tunnel back on them and turn them into dead meat.”

Gabrielle blinked the sweat out of her eyes. It was hot inside the mountain now, and she could smell wood burning. The sound of the fire started to get to her, a low, ominous rumble mixed with pops and cracks of the overheated rock.

She wanted to scream. But she just bit the inside of her lip and kept going, striving to ignore the burning in all her muscles.

“Bastards!” One of the men behind them screamed. “Augghh!!!”

She started to turn, but Xena’s arm tightened around her shoulders and prevented it. “Don’t.” The queen said. “You can’t help him.”

“Roll! Roll!” Brendan’s voice rang out. “On the ground, y’damn ox!”

Gabrielle swallowed hard, as a stench swept past them, one of burning flesh and burning hair that was so heavy she tasted it on the back of her tongue. Her stomach twisted, and she clenched her jaw shut as firmly as she could.

She couldn’t help him.

Xena had to pause for a moment, resting her hand against the rock with her eyes closed.

“Xena?” Gabrielle felt a blast of heat hit her in the back.

“I know.” The queen straightened and pushed off, her steely will evident in the fire’s reflection that threw shadows across her firm, determined jaw. “Move, move move. Stupid bastards aren’t going to catch us.”

Gabrielle nodded and struggled on, smoke beginning to fill her lungs. She coughed violently, then almost fell as rocks slid under her boots. She caught her balance just before Xena could try and help her, and continued on. “Move, move move.” She repeated softly. “Home, home, home.”

The queen snorted, very faintly.

A yell. This one of triumph.  Xena drew in a breath as she sensed the opening ahead. “RUN!” She let out a yell of her own. “RUN! We’re OUT!”

Ragged, breathless, voices answered.

A cold blast of air, sweeping the drenched hair back off her face, tasting of rain as she inhaled it. Gabrielle felt bodies on either side of them, stumbling and jostling as they erupted from the stone into a driving wall of water that threatened to sweep them from their feet.

“Psha.” Xena spat, hauling her to one side as they crashed against the wall of a steep canyon. The floor of it was already racing with runoff, and it swirled around their boots as more and more of her men came pouring out. “Keep moving!” She pointed down the valley.

Gabrielle tipped her head back, feeling the clean rain wash over her. It was cold, and it stung, but if she squinted hard enough through it she could see racing clouds, and.. yes, there was a star, flickering quickly and disappearing from sight behind a foggy wisp.

The last of the servants went past them, and Xena pushed away from the rock, having caught her breath. Her entire body was trembling, and her head hurt so badly she was seeing stars of a completely different kind than Gabrielle’s.

But they were out.

“Are they going to come after us?” Gabrielle asked, panting.

Xena cocked her head, and listened. A low, muted rumbling came to her, and she smiled with a peculiar, cold bitterness. “No.”

Gabrielle looked back, seeing a last, few figures dash from the opening, then, almost invisible against the darkness, what appeared to be almost a fog puffed out after them. She recognized, in a flash of lightning, that the man that came out last was Brendan.

Then she faced forward and concentrated on  keeping her feet in the swirling water, the strain almost unbearable as she fought to support both of them. There wasn’t time, and she didn’t have the strength to wonder about the men chasing them.

She would think about it later. After they were safe somewhere.

“Better get out of this damn gully.” Xena grunted. “I’m not in the mood for swimming.”

Swimming. Gabrielle tried to catch her breath. “Ah, Xena?”

The queen shook her drenched hair out of her eyes. “Tell me you can’t.”

Gabrielle didn’t answer for a moment. “I sink.”

Xena held on to the rock walls, hoping she wouldn’t just collapse. She felt so dizzy, the world seemed to just be shifting without pattern around her. “G…get me outta here..” She managed to say. “I’ll teach ya to swim. Promise.”

Gabrielle felt other bodies around her, and she looked up to find Brendan at her heels, and two other men next to her and Xena.

“Forgive me, mistress.” Brendan hesitated, then took hold of the queen’s other arm. “Joss, get t’little one’s hand there.”

“S’sallright.” Xena managed a low chuckle. “I’ll kill ya later.”

The sky lit up, and Gabrielle looked down the valley, seeing the roiling water at the bottom of it full of struggling people. But she could also see the entrance ahead, where the steep walls ended and something else began.

Something that looked far more open.

It probably wasn’t safety,  but just the sight of it made Gabrielle’s heart soar.  They had escaped Hades, and if it meant diving into the realm of Posdeidon, well….

Then she’d just have to learn to swim. Gabrielle hugged the sodden body pressed against hers. At least she’d have a good teacher.

Lightning flared, and thunder rolled, sounding almost like laughter as it rattled through the rocks.

**

The only shelter they could find was a scant overhang. It was long, however, and most of them fit under it, pressing their backs against the rock as the rain fell down in cold sheets.  Gabrielle pulled her wet cloak around her and looked anxiously at Xena, who was leaning against the stone with her eyes closed.

They had lost most of their supplies, and all of their wagons and animals. All they had left was the soldier’s personal arms, and a few sacks some of the servants had kept on their backs.

Gabrielle felt an almost unreasonable sense of loss, knowing she’d probably never see Patches again. She’d only known him for a few days, and yet in that short time he’d grown on her with his sweet nature and cute ways.

Oh well. She exhaled. At least they were okay. At least, she hoped they were okay. “Xena?” She took the queens’ hand in her own, feeling the chill against her skin. “Why don’t you sit down?”

The queen turned her head and opened one eye, colorless in the faint light. “Then I’ll get my feet wet.”

Gabrielle looked down at both of their legs, completely drenched and mud covered. “Um…”

Xena leaned over and rested her cheek against the top of Gabrielle’s head. “I’m all right. Feels better standing up. Less pressure on my thick skull.”

“You have a very pretty skull.” The girl responded quietly, almost without thought. The rain was pouring down before them, and despite the overhanging ledge it’s mist coated every inch of her. She licked her lips, tasting the sweetness of it, and wondered what would happen to them next.

“Oo… what an amazing discovery I’ve made.” Xena murmured. “I can show you off at court.. make a mint.” She ruffled her thumb through the girl’s wet hair. “Rare, yellow coated sweet talking muskrat.”

Gabrielle smiled, despite all the discomfort. She snuggled closer and felt a little relief as their combined body heat battled the chill. “Where are we?”

“I’m in Elysia. Don’t know where you are.” Xena answered, pulling her closer and giving her a small, surprising nip on the back of her neck.

“Elysia?” Gabrielle whispered, as the surge of blood warmed her from head to foot.

“I’m alive. You’re alive, most of the rest of us are alive, most of them are dead. My version of Elysia.” The queen replied. “I’ve got simple tastes.”

“Oh.”

A crack of thunder rattled the rocks around them.

“We came through the damn pass the hard way.” Xena answered her original question. “We’re on the other side of the mountain.”

“Mm.”

“Which means… “ The queen sighed. “We gotta go back the way we came, because going forward on this side’s bad news.”  She looked past Gabrielle’s head, to the string of men and women, most of whom were looking furtively back at her.  Injured or no, she realized it was her responsibility to get them back home, and she also realized everyone here knew it.

Someone, as she had said, had to be the queen. Xena closed her eyes as a wave of nauseating vertigo made her knees shake.  And sometimes, being the queen sucked.  She let out a small breath, as Gabrielle snuck a hand through an opening in her cloak and wrapped her arm around Xena’s stomach.

She was a grown meglomaniacal tyrant, and she certainly didn’t need adorable blond women wrapped all over her to make her feel better even in lousy, cold, rainy circumstances like this.

“Hm.” Gabrielle hugged her gently. “You’ll make it okay. We’ll get there.”

On the other hand, if you were a meglomaniacal tyrant, and you *had* an adorable blond woman wrapped around you, why complain?  “Yeah, we will.”  She turned her head, glancing over at Brendan who was huddled next to her. “Ain’t this like the old days?”

The old soldier’s face twisted into a wry grin. “Ah, Mistress, that it is.” He admitted. “Cepting I’m a Hades of a lot older, and you’re keeping better company.”

Xena’s eyebrow twitched, then her face relaxed a little, into an almost smile.  “Isn’t that the truth.” She uttered, glancing down at the blond head now tucked against her shoulder.  “Okay.” She let her head rest against the cold, wet rock. “First thing’s first. We need to find some real shelter, and tally up what we’ve got.”

“Does it have to be a cave?’ Gabrielle murmured.

“What?” Xena looked at her.

“I hate caves.”

The queen blinked. “Now.”

“Mm.”

“Not much choice.” Xena squinted, as a puff of rain blew across her face. Then a thought occurred to her. “Unless…” Long, dusty memories surfaced. “Brendan, wasn’t there a cothold near the foot of the range, for summer grazing?”

Brendan considered, holding his hand over his head to shield his face from the rain. “Aye, Mistress, but it’s just a bit of a hut or two. Abandoned, this time of year.”

Xena could feel her knees starting to give way. “Well.” She managed to keep a normal tone in her voice. “It’s better than where we are, and I…”  Her vision started to tunnel. “I think I…”

“Xena?” Gabrielle’s voice cut through the fuzziness. “Are you okay?”

“No.” The queen replied faintly, just as the tunnel collapsed and so did she, slumping against the rock and almost falling to the ground if Gabrielle hadn’t had a good hold on her.

Brendan grabbed the queen’s shoulders, as Gabrielle held on for dear life. “I think we better get to that hut place.” The girl said. “Really fast.”  She looked at Xena, seeing the paleness to her skin even in the shaky light. “Oh gods.”

“We can go that way, Bren.” One of the men standing next to him pointed. “Down the hill there, and once we’re in that shadow, it’ll be better.”

“Aye. Got a cloak here, let’s get her Majesty covered.” One of the servants said. “If we walk close, we c’n keep the rain off ‘er.”

Bodies clustered around, ignoring the rain, focusing on Xena. Gabrielle found a moment to wish the queen had been awake, to see the effort, and the concern in eyes usually turned on her in fear or wariness.

“Let’s go.” One of Brandon’s lieutenants brought a spear over. They draped the cloak over it, and tied the ends to four other pikes, and made as much of a shelter as they were going to be able to. Six men linked arms, and Brandon and two others gently laid Xena’s limp form on top of them and with their makeshift covering, they started off down the slope.

Gabrielle followed close behind them, in a cluster of bodies that closed in around her. Everyone linked arms together and even the force of the rain was futile to stop their progress.

“We’ll be all right.” One of the women told her.  “And ‘twill make a fine tale for ye to tell, won’t it, girl?”

Gabrielle exhaled, trying to shift the weight of worry laying across her shoulders like a mantle. “It sure will.” She replied, her eyes never leaving the pale, still face under the cloak. “So long as it has a happy ending.”

**

Xena woke in dire confusion, staring at the unfamiliar surroundings for a long, heartstopping moment before Gabrielle stepped between her and the firepit and knelt down beside her. “Ah.”  She whispered weakly, her fingers recognizing the feel of rough furs beneath her. “Wh..”

“It’s okay.” Gabrielle told her. “We’re in those huts you told us about. It’s…um..” She turned her head and regarded the crude interior. “Not much, but we patched most of the holes in the roof so it’s mostly dry.”

“Mm.” Xena looked past her, to see vaguely moving bodies beyond the firepit. “How long?” She asked, “Was I out?”

The girl looked steadily at her, brow tensed. “Too long. You scared me.”

A queenly eyebrow twitched. “Hmm.”

Gabrielle shifted, taking the cloth she had in her hand and wiping Xena’s forehead with it. “Brendan is getting of list of the things we have and all that stuff.” She said. “Is there anything you want.. anything you can take for what’s hurting you?”

Xena shook her head, just a bit. “No.” She murmured. “Got my brains rattled.” She lifted her hand and touched the side of her skull, near her ear. “Damage is all in there. Nothing you can take. Nothing you can do. Just gotta hope it all works out.”

“Oh.”

“Lying down in a nice soft bed for a few days helps.” Xena added, with a faint, wry glance at her surroundings. “You’re not supposed to move around or do a lot.”

Gabrielle bit the inside of her lip, not entirely sure if Xena was being serious, or not. “Really?”

“Really.” The queen said. “But I’ve usually had it happen in the middle of battle, so I never tested the theory.”  She rolled over and looked up at the thatched roof. Her nostrils flared. “Bet there’s spiders up there.”

“No there aren’t.” Gabrielle replied unexpectedly. “I checked.”

Xena turned her head and looked at her. “You did?”

The girl nodded. “There was a mouse, but I didn’t think that counted so I left him.”

The queen’s .lips twitched, then moved into a faint smile. Then she glanced past Gabrielle at the rest of the huts inhabitants. Most of them were her men, but a few were servants from the stronghold. All were busy with some task, and as she watched them she realized there was none of the usual uneasy fear she always felt around her even from the soldiers she led.

It was an unexpectedly pleasant change, especially since she felt so sick at the moment she really wasn’t in the mood for acting properly dogmatic and queenly.  Xena exhaled. She didn’t even feel like killing anyone.

Pathetic.

“Would you like some crackers and cheese?” Gabrielle asked. “We’ve got some.”

Xena’s nose wrinkled expressively.

“It’s not that bad.”

“Just water.” The queen replied. “Anything else is just gonna end up on the floor anyway.”  She watched quietly as Gabrielle stood and picked up a cup, walking to the door and opening it to extend her hand out into the rain. “Definitely won’t be poisoned, unless the gods really have it in for me.”

“Mistress?” Brendan came over. “Did you need something?”

Xena considered the question. “No.” She replied. “I’m fine. Tell everyone to rest as much as they can till this damn weather stops.”

“Aye.”

“Then we’ll head home.”

“Aye.” Brendan repeated. “Rest easy, Mistress. We’ll take care of ye.” He told her, with a serious expression.

Xena lifted her eyebrows at him, but at that moment Gabrielle returned with her cup and she had to concentrate on sitting up to receive it’s contents. Brendan, she decided, would have to be dealt with later about this ‘taking care of’ stuff.

She was perfectly capable of taking care of herself.

Gabrielle slipped an arm around her shoulders and lifted the cup to her lips.

Well. The queen conceded. Except when it was far more pleasant to let someone else do it. But that was a totally different story.  Xena’s brow creased a trifle. Wasn’t it?

Hmm.

**

The ground was uncomfortable. It was dirt, its surface lumpy from years and years of hard boots and careless kicking.  The bit of straw and thin blanket Gabrielle had scrounged for herself didn’t make it much better, but she wouldn’t have traded her spot next to Xena’s pallet for anything.

Not even the plush, down stuffed bed in the queen’s chambers.

The rain was still coming down outside, but with the fire and some luck they’d gotten most of their things dried out.  Everyone had pooled their supplies, and what they’d found was better than they’d expected.

Someone, Gabrielle had been surprised to find, had even grabbed her stick and brought it along. It was tucked in back of her right now, under the pallet out of the way.  There had been enough in the sacks for everyone to get a rough, odd lot meal, and with the help of an old, dented pot the remainders were being simmered into a stewy soup to add to it.

Gabrielle was sitting on her little bit of a nest, her legs crossed under her and a cup of warmed water in her hands. She had her boots off, and they were drying next to Xena’s near the foot of the pallet; she’d brushed the leather of them clean of caked mud and gotten Xena’s gear as neat and tidy as the situation allowed.

She didn’t really think Xena cared about that right at the moment, but she knew the queen would care, and more to the point, *she* cared. Not just because Xena was the queen, and she was her….

Gabrielle folded her hands around her upraised knee, and gazed into the firepit.  What exactly was she now, anyway?  Xena had freed her… hadn’t she? Even though she’d burned the parchment up, the queen’s intent had been very clear.

So, if she wasn’t Xena’s body servant, what was she? Her consort? That’s what Xena had called her a few times, but Gabrielle wrinkled her nose up at the term. She didn’t really feel like a consort.  Embarassingly enough, she actually sort of liked when Xena called her a saucy little love slave, but…

“Well poop.” Gabrielle finally had to laugh at herself. “Find something really important to worry about, okay?”  She leaned back against the edge of the queen’s pallet, and turned to watch the faint twitches of Xena’s face as she slept.

There. That was something more important. Gabrielle reached over and pulled the tattered fur a little further up and tucked it’s end in over the queen’s shoulder.  She’d gotten most of Xena’s clothing off, and found beneath it not only bruises but two bad cuts, the blood from them stiffening her undergarments to a lurid rust.

Further rummaging had turned up some small strips of linen she could use as bandages, and she’d cleaned the cuts off as best she could before she carefully covered them.  They had no needles, and nothing for her to sew them up with, so she could only hope the bandages would let them heal given enough time.

She wondered why Xena hadn’t mentioned them. It wasn’t something you could just forget about. At least Gabrielle didn’t think you could forget about something like that, but then again, she really didn’t have much experience in sword gashes so who really knew?

Who really knew?  Gabrielle curled her fingers around the hand Xena had left outside the covers and felt, even in her sleep, the tightening in response to her touch.

After a moment, though. Xena’s eyes opened, and she regarded Gabrielle sleepily.  “Did you take my clothes off?”

Unexpectedly, Gabrielle blushed. “Yes.”

“And you let me sleep through it? Bad girl. No baklava for you.”  Xena burred softly. “How’s it going?”  She shifted her body a little, looking past Gabrielle. “Still raining, eh?”

Gabrielle held her cup closer, as she saw the queen lick dry lips. “I think we’re doing okay.” She watched Xena slowly ease up onto one elbow and take a sip. “We’ve got some soup on… do you think you could drink a little?”

Xena put her head back down, and rested her chin on her wrist. “Maybe.” She answered, after a little silence. “What is it? You’re not boiling my boot in there, are ya?”  Her voice cracked slightly on the last word, and she frowned. “Eh. World’s not ready for me to go through the changes again, that’s for sure.”

Gabrielle stifled a giggle. “You sound like you’re feeling better.”

The queen shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t feel worse.”  She reached out and caught a bit of Gabrielle’s hair, giving it a small tug. “You tied me up.”

“I put something on those big cuts, is that what you mean?”

Xena nodded.  “Lot of blood?”

The girl nodded in her turn.

“Ah.”  Xena turned slightly, and reached down under the covers, exploring the bandages. Then she settled back down half on her stomach, half on her side. The fur slipped a bit, exposing one bare shoulder and she paused to examine the bruise that covered most of it. “Hm.”

Gabrielle touched the spot, brushing her fingertips over the rounded surface. “That must hurt.”

“It doesn’t.” Xena answered. “You don’t think about it when you’re fighting. Sometimes, you don’t think about it after.” She flexed her hand, watching the muscle move under her skin. “I guess it does hurt, you just don’t pay attention to it.”

Slowly, Gabrielle leaned over and kissed the spot.. Then she laid her cheek on it, and just looked at Xena, expressing with her eyes something she didn’t yet have words for.

Xena smiled back at her, as though for a moment they were the only people in the room.  Then she felt the stares all around her and shifted her gaze, letting her eyes go steely as she swept them around the room.

For some damn reason, everyone smiled back at her. Xena emitted a tiny snort of outrage.  She debated getting up and hitting someone, then realized doing it naked would probably make more of an impact than she was really looking for.

One of the women near the firepit stood, and walked over to her, bearing a rough wooden bowl. She knelt at the side of the pallet and offered it. “Mistress, tis not much, but it’s hot.”

Xena eyed the steam coming off it.  She looked over the bowl at the woman, a middle aged servant whose name she doubted she’d ever known.

No, wait.  Xena’s lashes flickered closed, then open. “Thanks, Mariah.” She said, in a quiet tone.

The woman had averted her eyes, but now she looked up and they widened, an expression of surprised pleasure spreading over her face.

“Give it over to Gabrielle… we’ll share it.” Xena continued.

“Aye, Mistress.” Mariah handed the bowl over and got to her feet, pausing to curtsey before she backed away. She was still smiling as she joined a group of servants sitting next to the firepit, and her smile increased as their heads bent towards her with eager whispers.

Gabrielle gave the bowl an investigative sniff, then picked up the spoon and stirred it’s contents. She looked over at Xena, only to find the queen looking back at her with a half smile. “I think you just made her day.”  She murmured.

“Mm.” The queen grunted. “Should I sit up and make everyone else’s day?”  She inquired, with a faintly mischevious glint in her eye.

“Xena.” Gabrielle smothered a laugh.

“Yeeeeessss, Gabrielle?” The queen rumbled. “You’re not spoon feeding me, so either I sit up, or you find some other way to get that soup in my mouth.”

Hm.  The girl studied the soup with a serious expression for a long moment. Then she picked up the spoon and put it’s contents into her mouth. Her head lifted, and she looked at Xena, putting the bowl down before she eased up onto her knees and leaned over the queen, touching their lips together.

Too surprised to do anything else, Xena opened her mouth and received both a warm splash of liquid and  shyly exploring tongue.  She quickly swallowed the soup, getting rid of it so she could concentrate on the latter, one hand slipping up to curl around Gabrielle’s neck and pull her closer.

Screw the soup.  Xena felt her body react, easing aside the discomfort as  a surge of passion replaced it. They finally had to pause to breath, and she released Gabrielle, meeting her eyes as the girl straightened slightly.  “Woulda been less shocking if I’d just showed em my chest.”

Gabrielle took a breath, and turned beet red.

“Now you’re gonna have to convince em they’re not gonna go blind.”

“S..sorry.”

“I’m not.” Xena managed a weak chuckle. “Where’s my soup? I’m starving to death here.”

Gabrielle wondered what on earth had come over her. Then she caught the half-lidded, seductive look coming her way from the queen and decided getting her a shirt would probably be a really, really good idea.

Except that meant she had to turn around and face the room so she could get to their stuff.  Gabrielle could almost feel the eyeballs plastered to her back, and she gave Xena a beseeching look.

The queen’s eyes twinkled.

Gabrielle girded her loins, and got up, glad the dim interior would mask her flush. She turned and headed for the bags in the corner,  only half seeing the smiles that followed her.

Xena relaxed on her pallet, regarding the room benignly. It was very quiet.

Too quiet. “It’s damn good to be the queen, huh?” She remarked aloud. “You should see what she can do with fruit.”

It was hard to say, in that light, which one of the lot of them was the darkest color red.  Satisfied with her troublemaking for the moment, Xena put her head back down on her arm, and closed her eyes.

**

At last it stopped raining. Gabrielle had gotten up to stretch the cramps out of her legs from her uncomfortable position and noticed the silence. She carefully tiptoed through the haphazardly sleeping bodies on the ground around her and poked her head out the door.

The guard outside turned to her immediately, then relaxed as he recognized her. “M’lady.”

“Hi.” Gabrielle whispered. “Boy, look at those stars!”  She eased outside and tipped her head back, seeing a midnight blue sky cleared of all clouds exploding with pinpoints of light. The air had cleared as well, and it was cold and sharp in her lungs as she took a breath of it.

“Aye, tis beautiful.” The guard agreed. “Glad I was to see em, too, after all that wet.”

“I bet.”  Gabrielle smiled. “Oh look!” Two streaks of light zipped over their heads, disappearing in the blink of an eye. “That’s a great sign. I bet things are going to work out a lot better now.”

The guard chuckled, then cleared his throat. “How’s her Majesty doing?”

Hm. Good question.  “I think…”Gabrielle considered carefully. “I think she’s going to be okay. I think she was feeling better before we all went to sleep.”

The man nodded. “She’s a tough, tough woman.” He said. “Take more’n that lot to put her down long.”

Gabrielle leaned against the wood of the door jamb, it’s rough surface pressing into the skin on her shoulder just a little. “You were with her before?”

He didn’t even have to ask her before what. “Sure.” He leaned next to her. “I joined up with her when I was sixteen.  Hadn’t clue what I was doing.” He smiled a little, the motion pulling at a long, jagged scar that went from the corner of his left eye down to his jawline. “Lucky I lasted the first moon.”

“What made you leave home?”

He folded his arms, and exhaled. “Fourth son.” He looked at her, with a wry expression. “I didn’t want to spend my life dirt diggin.”

“Mm.” Gabrielle wondered, briefly, and for the first time what her future would have been if the slavers hadn’t taken her and burned the village. A life with the sheep herd? Or an arranged marriage to that pig friend of her father’s who wanted her since his first wife had died? “Yeah, I know what you mean.” She told the guard.  “I always used to sit at my window at night and look out at the world, wondering what was out there, and if I’d ever get to see any of it.”

“Ever think of just leaving?”

Gabrielle nodded. “I was afraid.” She looked at the guard. “I was afraid of what would happen if I got caught.”

“Ah.” The man grunted. “Different for girls.”

“Yeah.” She agreed. “I think that makes Xena extra special.”

The guard chuckled again. “Lass, more’n that makes her special. I talked to some of them pigheads as was with Bregos, and what twisted their…ah…  what made em so mad was her being a woman.”

“I thought so.” Gabrielle nodded. “I think that’s a lot of the problem. The men are used to being in charge. She sort of throws that over, because if she can be in charge, why couldn’t any of the other women?”

The man thought about that for a minute, his face mostly in shadow. He was fairly young, and had hair that was more or less the same shade as hers. “Aye, maybe.” He finally murmured. “Every time we got in a new lad, back in the old days, first thing she’d do is beat the pride out of im. Kept things orderly, like.”

Gabrielle nodded again. “I wondered, at first, why she was always so violent. Now…” She exhaled. “I think I understand why. She had to be.”

“Aye.” The man agreed with her. “But them silk types… they don’t respect ‘er.  Don’t respect us. Not sure if it’s her being a woman, or us just being a bunch of dirt grubber’s what taken their land over.”

Gabrielle sighed. “Yeah.”

“An she let em set her up in that tower, way from us.” The guard continued. “All she had was herself, after t’lad got kilt.”

“Lyceus? Her brother?”

“Aye.” He said. “All alone up there, nobody to trust. Musta gotten her half mad.” Now he smiled. “You done brought her back to us.”

Gabrielle looked at him in surprise. “I did?”

“You did.” A new voice broke in. They both turned to see Brendan standing just behind Gabrielle, his weathered face creased in a gentle smile. “And we thank ye for it, little one.”

She looked up at the stars, then back at them. “I just want her to be happy.”

There was a little, awkward silence between them.  Gabrielle pressed her lips together, and then she turned and slipped back inside the hut, making her way back to the queen’s bedside.

With a slight sigh, she sat back down on her thin blanket, setting her bare feet on the earthen floor and leaning her back against the edge of the pallet. She rested her elbows on her upraised knees and wondered if it was worth trying to fall back asleep.

There were still hours before dawn, she could tell by the sky, but the ground was so uncomfortable it was very hard for her to find a place for herself that would allow her to relax.  With a sigh, she put her chin down on her wrists.

A fingertip touched her back, and traced a line all the way up to the nape of her neck. Gabrielle turned her head and peered over her shoulder, not surprised to find Xena’s half open eyes watching her. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Xena’s voice was soft and husky.

“Rain stopped.”

A faint twinkle appeared. “Great. Get everyone up. We’re leaving.”

Gabrielle blinked in dismay, looking around at the sleeping forms around them. “Ah.. w…”

“Gotcha.” The queen half grinned. “Just kidding.”

Someday, she’d learn. Gabrielle returned the grin, feeling more than a touch relieved. Even if she couldn’t sleep, she really didn’t want to jump up and start marching, either.  Her body was tired, sore from the long night’s crouching at the queen’s bedside and besides, she really didn’t think everyone else would appreciate it either. “You’re so funny sometimes.”

“Am I?” Xena reached a hand out from under her furs and touched the side of Gabrielle’s face. “Cold out there?”

Gabrielle nodded. “No more rain, but it’s pretty chilly.”  She rubbed her hands over her upper arms. “Glad we’ve got a fire in here.”

The pale blue eyes studied her for a moment . “Know what I think?”

“Hm?” Gabrielle half turned, so she could be closer. “What?”

“I think I need a fire in here.” Xena pulled the furs back and patted the meager surface of the pallet. “Up.”

Gabirelle’s eyes flicked to the rest of the room, and then went back to her, widening in question. “Xena, I..”

“I.” Xena pointed to herself. “Am the queen. I don’t give a rats ass what anyone else thinks. Up.” She patted the surface again.

“B..”

“No buts.” Xena’s voice took on a no nonsense tone.

Gabrielle got up and eased herself down onto the pallet, hoping it wouldn’t send both of them crashing to the ground. There wasn’t much room at all, and really all she could do was press herself up against Xena as the queen replaced the furs over them.

After all those hours shivering on the floor, it was like a warm bowl of soup on a freezing night. Gabrielle felt Xena’s arm slip around her, and she nestled closer, returning the hold as their bodies twined comfortably together.

She didn’t even remember closing her eyes.

Xena glanced benignly at the now relaxed form slumped against her. “Maybe now we’ll both get some rest.” She commented to the darkness around her. “Cause I got a feeling we’re gonna need it tomorrow.”

The fire flickered back at her, a spark popping free and floating up into oblivion.

**

Continued in Part 19

Shadows of the Soul

Part 19

The nap did her a world of good.  Xena lay there with her eyes closed, and examined this hoary old statement in a half waking, half sleeping kind of way. A world of good? Would that be like an entire country full of Gabrielle’s? What would a world of evil be? A country full of her, obviously.

Xena liked that. It was symmetrical. Her nose informed her that it was still raining outside, and she could hear mostly silence around her save the odd snore so she reasoned it was probably dead of night.

She opened one eye, and confirmed the reasoning. Only a glow from the firepit was visible, and that left her in peace to consider her circumstances.

She’d made some mistakes, that she knew. Xena reviewed her actions with a typically brutal self-honesty.  She hadn’t taken this trip seriously, and it had gotten people killed. Almost gotten her killed, in fact. If she’d been one of those people, seeing how she’d been leading on the mission, she’d probably have murdered herself by now.

Had she forgotten everything she’d ever learned?  She studied the dark recesses of the roof over her head. Had she become that arrogant? A tiny, wry smile of self-knowledge appeared on her face. Okay, become that much more arrogant? Or was she simply so distracted by the new facet in her life that she just wasn’t paying the degree of attention to what she was doing that she needed to? It was a fact that once she knew raiders were active in the region, she should have either returned to the stronghold for more troops, or spent the time sending out spies into the countryside to find out what was going on.

She should not have pressed on into the mountains, despite her desire to get to her erstwhile rebel’s homesteads before they were ready for her.

Xena nodded slightly. Okay. She acknowledged her failure. Now her job was to get them all home again and re-evaluate the security of her realm. Troops would have to be sent out, and crackdowns would have to happen. Blood would be shed, but she would regain control over all the bits and pieces of her world that had escaped her over the past few years. Nothing would get in the way of that.

Gabrielle stirred a little in her sleep, and her hand shifted slightly lower, coming to rest on Xena’s hip.

Even Gabrielle wouldn’t get in the way of it, now that she was sure of the girl’s real feelings for her.

Xena studied the rounded profile, it’s downy skin kissed by the low, crimson light. She remembered, in a hazy way, the trip through the mountain, and what they’d said to each other.  She found herself looking forward to ruling with Gabrielle at her side, the one pinpoint of total trust she could depend on above any of the others.

To hell with what the nobles thought. She’d make Gabrielle her consort, and they could all come up and kiss her feet after that.

After all, she was the queen, wasn’t she?  Xena curled her fingers around Gabrielle’s waistline, feeling the slight motion as the girl breathed. It was such an odd sensation, being this close to someone and not minding it. It was almost like she’d been waiting for this feeling all her life, missing it, not even knowing what it was.

Amazing.

She remembered, back in the old days, one captain of hers that had, by some chance fallen in love when they are on the march towards the conquering of the land she now held.  Melen had come to her one night, late, when she was tired from a long day’s march and told her he was leaving.

Because he was one of her best fighters, and a damn useful man, she’d given him a chance to explain why instead of simply killing him outright. Was it money? Had the girl offered him land, position, what?

No. He’d told her. It was none of that. He simply had fallen in love with her, and didn’t want to leave her to stay with the army.  She was not rich, her family had a simple little farm, and he would work the land for her father in payment for his marriage to her. In time, perhaps he would become the man’s son, since he had no other, and one day come into the small patch of land himself.

So alien was the idea to her, Xena had almost choked on a fruit pit and ended her own bloody career in the most undignified of manners.

But she had recovered after a healthy cough, and settled herself down to decide what to do with the fellow. Men did not desert her, and Melen knew that.  His life expectancy would have been better if he’d simply slipped away in the night, and vanished. Certainly she would never have looked for him underneath… or behind… some sheep in the hinterlands.

On the one hand, she admired his courage in coming to her. On the other hand, letting him go could have set a precedent dangerous to her cause.

She’d killed him.

Now, lying here in the dark, she finally understood him, and regretted the act, at last having a point of reference to stand on and see why he’d done what he’d done.   She wondered, too, what happened to the girl, in that small village on the road to the capital.

They’d stopped there, on the way out this time, and she hadn’t really remembered about it until now.  Ah well. Xena closed her eyes and relaxed, leaving her planning for the daylight.  Her head still ached, and it was easier to just lie here under her blankets, reveling in the comfortable warmth of her bedmate.

She smiled. A moment later, she was surprised by the sensation of Gabrielle’s lips gently nibbling her shoulder, and she shifted a little, tiling her head to see the faintest outline of the girl’s eyelashes flickering open. “You’re awake.”

Gabrielle nodded, tightening her hold a bit and releasing a sigh.

“Why?”

A shrug. “Just am.” Gabrielle whispered. “I was thinking about all the stuff that happened the last few days.”

“Wouldn’t sleeping be more productive?” Xena asked, practically.

“Probably.” The girl admitted. “But it was so many amazing… scary... things I just keep picturing it all in my head.”

“Mmph.” Xena realized she didn’t have that problem. The memories of the horror she’d lived through were fading into the background, being in the past and not nearly as important to her as the moment right now, or what would happen tomorrow.  “Can’t change what happened.” She said. “Only what’s gonna happen.”

“I know.” Gabrielle said. “But I want to make sure I got all the parts right.”

Xena nuzzled her bedmate’s hair. “So you can tell everyone?”

The girl nodded.

“Gonna make me look good?”

Gabrielle laughed very softly. “Xena, you made yourself look good.”

The queen chuckled.

“You were going to die, so we could escape.”  The girl murmured. “Everybody knows it.”

If nothing else, Xena was honest with herself. She didn’t see any point in being any less so with Gabrielle.  “Those bastards weren’t after you. They were after me, and I walked right into their hands. I’da been too embarrassed to do anything else.”

Gabrielle lifted her head and shifted, so she could look up and see Xena’s face. “Really?”

“Yes.” The queen met her gaze evenly. “I may be a heartless bitch, but I clean up my own messes.”

“That doesn’t change what you did.”

“No.” Xena said. “But it doesn’t make me a pristine heroic virgin, either – so don’t you paint it that way.”

Gabrielle considered that for a while. “Well.” She eventually murmured. “I don’t think even the chief bard of Athens could paint you a virgin, Xena.”

It struck the queen funny, and she snickered soundlessly.

“But… what you did was brave and heroic no matter why you did it, so…” Gabrielle concluded. “That’s what I’m going to tell everyone in my story.”  She put her head back down and exhaled, warming Xena’s skin under the shift she was wearing.  “You have the soul of hero, y’know.”

Both of Xena’s eyes opened wide, invisible in the darkness.  “Hey. Let’s not go overboard.”

Gabrielle gave her a squeeze.

The queen shifted onto her side, rolling over in the small space and keeping Gabrielle’s body pressed against hers. They ended up facing each other, legs tangling together into a position of cozy comfort. Xena put a fingertip on Gabrielle’s nose, then instead of speaking, leaned forward and kissed her on the lips.

There was no hesitation in Gabrielle’s response. She pressed her body against Xena’s and returned the kiss, one hand sliding over and tracing a light pattern on the queen’s back.

There was a hunger there, and it made Xena’s skin tingle. She slipped her fingers under Gabrielle’s tunic and explored her body, cupping the girl’s breast and rubbing the edge of her thumb over one erect nipple. It elicited a soft sound deep in Gabrielle’s throat, and she teetered on the edge of continuing on to a very logical and satisfying conclusion.

Just the thought chased the pain from her, replacing it with a passion almost outside her control.

Almost. Xena broke off the kiss, and pulled back a little, to see Gabrielle’s eyes flutter open, darkened in reflection of the same passion. “Much as I’d love to make you scream like a sheep being chased by Hercules, lambchop... you gotta face all these people over breakfast tomorrow.”

Unexpectedly, Gabrielle grinned, then she let her head rest against Xena’s collarbone, her ribs contracting as she produced a small sigh. “Rats.”

“Where?” Xena glanced around suspiciously.

“No.... I mean…”

Xena rubbed the back of her neck, and smiled. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”  She looked past Gabrielle’s head to the banked firepit; it’s glowing embers merely touching them with crimson.

After a moment’s silence, Gabrielle shifted a little. “Xena?”

“Mm?”

“Am I still free?”

Xena blinked, her breath catching in her throat at the unexpected question. Then she relaxed, and resumed a slow stroking under Gabrielle’s shirt. “I said you were, didn’t I?”

Gabrielle cleared her throat. “Well, I know, but I burned your note.”

The queen remembered that moment.  That crystal clear moment when through the pain and the fear, and the despair in her heart, the truth of Gabrielle’s devotion was made plain to her. “Yeah. All my hard effort, writing with my bad hand, up in smoke. What a crumb you are.”  Xena could hear the husky note in her voice, and she felt a tightening in her throat. She paused a moment, then went on. “Serves me right for trying to make a grand gesture.”

“I thought that’s what I was doing.” Gabrielle admitted. “I wanted you to know that I’d rather die with you, then live without you.”

Xena’s eyes slid shut.

“So… it’s… okay, I mean, it’s okay for me if you take that back…” The girl stumbled through the words, in a soft voice. “I don’t mind being a slave, as long as I’m yours.”

Oh, kid.   Xena moved so they were eye to eye again. They stared into each other’s soul for a long heartbeat, then the sharp words already on the tip of the queen’s tongue dissolved, leaving her briefly speechless.

“Honest.” Gabrielle whispered.

Xena’s eyes gentled. “You’re still free.” She finally said.

The girl pulled her closer, and hugged her tightly.

“Course...” The queen remarked, in a wry tone. “I’m not sure I am, anymore.”  She tasted the odd truth of that, and reflected again on the oracle’s prediction for her. Open your heart, and see yourself destroyed.  Was that more true than she was willing to admit?  Xena studied the unresponsive, and possibly spider filled rafters.

Ah well.

Gabrielle released her hold, then planted a few gentle kisses on whatever exposed skin of Xena’s she could find.  After a minute or so of this, she rested her head on the pillow again.  “Oh… how are you feeling?”

“Horny. You?” The queen replied.

After an embarrassed pause, Gabrielle looked up. “Yes.” She confessed. “But I meant your head.”

“Ah.” Xena wished the rest of the hut’s occupants would vanish. Though they were speaking in whispers, she was very conscious of all the bodies around them. “Better.” She said. “But I think more of this’ll make it better.” She tilted her head and nibbled around Gabrielle’s lips. “Makes the blood rush to my head… heals it faster.”

“Really?” Gabrielle sounded willing to buy into the tale.

“Absolutely.”

“Mm.”

There were no intelligible verbal sounds after that.

**

By morning, it had finally… finally stopped raining. Gabrielle stepped out from the hut into the early rays of sunrise, her breath a distinct fog in the very chill air. The storm had beaten down the foliage around them, and made the ragged shepherd’s shelters even more decrepit looking.

But aside from all that, the sun was now peeking over the tops of the trees and flooding the area, bringing welcome warmth and the start of drying out of the paths that led into the small place.

Gabrielle stood for a moment, just absorbing the wild peace all around her. The only sounds she could hear, aside from the soldiers and servants in the big hut behind her were soft warbling of birds and the sigh of the wind through the branches.

A crunch of footsteps behind her made her turn, smiling when she recognized Brendan. “Good morning.”

The old soldier stopped next to her, and briskly rubbed his hands together. “Morning to you, Gabrielle.” He said. “How’s her Maj doing?”

The girl nodded. “I think she’s okay, you know? I think she’s still hurt, and it’s not really good, but she’s sticking with us.”

Now it was Brendan’s turn to nod. “Listen, Gabrielle…back in t’pass…” He looked off into the woods. “Thought for sure she was just leading em on. Didn’t think she’d...”

“Die for you?” Gabrielle studied his face curiously. It was full of deep lines, and creases, and old pain.

The old soldier half shrugged a shoulder. “She’s t’queen.”

“That’s true.”  The girl agreed. “That’s what I thought too. That she should escape and you all cover for her, not the other way around.”

Brendan smiled wryly. “Not her way.” He admitted. “Somehow I’da forgotten that.”

Gabrielle put a hand on his arm. “No matter how mean she seems sometimes, I think she really loves you guys.” She said. ‘You mean a lot to her.”

A rakish grin appeared on the man’s face. “Not nearly as much as you do, little one.”

Gabrielle’s eyes dropped shyly.

“I’ve served her Maj for many years.” Brendan’s tone turned more serious. “Does my heart good to fin’ly see her w’ a bit of joy.”  He cleared his throat. “Glad we found a way out of that damn mountain... she deserves more’n a bit.”

“You really feel like that?” A strange voice interrupted. Both Gabrielle and Brendan turned, to see one of the older servants behind them. “After all she?”

Brendan studied the woman. “Aye.” He answered, simply. “She’s a hard one, but fair in ‘er guts.”

It was, Gabrielle thought, and apt summation.

“Got a taste for blood, she does.” The woman shook her head.

And that also was apt. “I think rulers are supposed to.” Gabrielle said, softly. “All these people, all those men in all those fine clothes… they’re the same way. She’s just better at it.”

The woman pondered her words. Then she grunted, shrugged a shoulder, and wandered back into the hut. She started as she reached the opening, then ducked aside and touched her forehead.

Gabrielle was not surprised to see Xena emerge, bedfurs wrapped around her like a royal cloak.  The queen’s dark hair was pulled back and caught in a casual knot, and her pallor was painfully evident in the bright morning light.

But the blue eyes brightened on seeing her, and Xena emerged with a tolerably firm step to join them outside the hut. “Ah. There’s my muskrat.” She rasped.

Brendan glanced at the blushing Gabrielle, and chuckled slightly.  “And a good morning to you, Mistress.” He greeted the queen. “Weather’s turned.”

“About gods be damned time.” Xena looked around. “Might even hold a day or two.”  She studied the wild forest. “We’re gonna have to follow the river down to the stronghold. Going back up the pass would be a bad idea.”

“Aye.” The soldier nodded. “Feeling better, Mistress?”

A dark eyebrow arched at him “I’m alive.” She leaned her free arm on Gabrielle’s shoulder. “I intend to stay that way.”  Shadowed eyes gazed off into the distance. “Get ready to move out.”

Brendan nodded and turned, heading back to the hut without comment.

Gabrielle waited for him to enter the building before she looked up at her queen. “Wouldn’t it be better for you to rest a while longer?”

Xena tilted her head and looked down. “Yeah.” She agreed frankly. “But if I have to spend one more damned minute in that flea infested goat’s hut, I’m gonna lose it and start hacking the heads off the nearest breathing bodies. Wanna watch?”

There was a long pause. “Um... no.... not really.” Gabrielle finally said.

“Didn’t think so.” The queen sighed. “I’m worried someone might catch us in here. Not good.” She said. “Better to move out, and make our way down the ridge.”  Her eyes closed briefly, and she lifted one hand to rub her temple. “Ugh.”

Gabrielle slid an arm around her. “You know what I miss?”

“You have me.” Xena responded. “What else could there be?”

“I miss Patches.” The girl admitted. “If we had horses, we could make a little cart for you to ride in.” She said. “Maybe we can make one anyway and the guys can pull it...foflp.”  Gabrielle looked up in surprise as Xena’s fingers pinched her lips shut.

“Listen here, little muskrat.” Xena whispered into her ear. “You really think I’d let that happen?”  She waited, and then removed her hand.

Misty green eyes regarded her solemnly.  “Yes.” Gabrielle said. “If I asked real nicely, I think you would.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah.’  Gabrielle nodded. “Cause then you could blame it on me.” She grinned. “Say you were humoring your... um…”

“Sexy, and unexpectedly bright delicious little bed partner.”  Xena finished, with a faint twinkle in her eyes.  “Why, Gabrielle. You’re getting positively sneaky.”

“Bed partner.” The girl flushed a little. “Is that a step up from love slave?”

Xena ruffled her hair with rough affection. “You’re not a slave anymore, remember?”

“So... it’s only half true, now?” Gabrielle responded.

The queen steered her towards the hut, pausing before they reached the entrance and turning to face her, an unexpectedly serious expression on her face. “Know what?”

“What?”

“I miss my horse, too.”  Xena said. “He was a good friend.”

Gabrielle looked at her.  “What was his name?”

The queen carefully looked around, and then lowered her voice. “Tiger.”

“That’s a wonderful name.” Gabrielle leaned her head against Xena’s shoulder, and they walked inside the hut together. “I bet he finds his way back to you.  Wouldn’t that make a great story?”

“Gabrielle, he’s not a talking dog.” The queen said. “He’s probably fish food by now.”

“I bet he does.”

“Yeah? How much?”

“Um….”

“Ah… gotcha.” Xena chuckled. “If you really believed it, you’d bet even without money.”

“A hundred dinars.”

“You don’t have a hundred dinars, you little muskrat.”

“I will.”

“Oh HO!” The queen chortled. “We’ll see about that.”

**

It was mid morning before they moved out. The soldiers carried the majority of the gear, strapped over their shoulders in makeshift packs that included the meager things they managed to salvage and items they’d liberated from the huts.

Gabrielle had felt a little bad about that, but Xena merely gave her a look, and shook her head as they were leaving.  “Don’t you think…”

“No.” The queen said, firmly. “Door was open. Anything they left behind, they never figured to see again.”

Well, okay. That makes sense.  Gabrielle had to admit to herself, as she followed Xena outside. In the end, the queen refused to allow herself to be coaxed into being carried. Instead, she filched Gabrielle’s walking stick and used that to steady herself, keeping a slow, but determined pace in the middle of the path.

Two men up front were carrying a collapsed pallet, two poles and a set of furs tucked around them just in case. Gabrielle really hoped they didn’t need to use them, but she knew Xena wasn’t feeling that well to start with so it paid to be careful.

She walked next to the queen; glad the drying ground gave her a sturdier and sturdier road to walk on and didn’t suck at her boots.

Or Xena’s.

She was really looking forward for the journey to end, though. Gabrielle decided she’d take her adventures in small doses, from now on, and not wish for grand stories to come from them. This story would be grand, but she never wanted to repeat it if she could help it.

The path went along in a steady grade, after a while coming to travel along the banks of a swiftly running river. The sound of the water seemed comforting and friendly, and the slow pace of the walk allowed the men and women to relax a little and begin to talk amongst themselves.

Gabrielle reached out as they passed a low bush, and plucked a pretty, purple flower from it. She recognized the type as the same they had in the garden at the stronghold, and after twirling it in her fingers and sniffing it’s delicate scent, she turned and offered it up to Xena.

The queen gave her a look. “What am I supposed to do with that?”

“Well.” Her companion tilted her head to one side. “You ate the last one. Hungry?”

Xena took the flower with her free hand and studied it, then she threaded it behind one ear, and inclined her brows at Gabrielle.  “How’s that?”

Gabrielle grinned. “It’s pretty.” She moved a little closer. “How far do we have to go?”

The queen edged carefully around a rut in the path. “At this rate? You’ll be a grandmother before we get there.”  She sighed, leaning on the staff. “Twice.”  An arm slipped around her for support, and she didn’t spurn it, the pain and lightheadedness making even this simple walk arduous.

“Does that mean we’re going to have kids after all??” Gabrielle asked, innocently. “Wow.”

Xena snorted softly, shaking her head in mild amusement.

“That’ll make a great story.”

“Are you trying to be funny?” The queen asked, watching her companion nod. “Cough up a funny story. I need something to keep my mind off…” Xena’s eyes flicked to the men and women around them. “things.” She finished.

“Okay.” Gabrielle said. “Do you think camels are funny? I know a story I heard once from a trader back in Potadeia.”

“Camels.”  Xena exhaled. “Gotta be funnier than sheep. G’wan.”

Gabrielle started in with her story, her clear, young voice lifting over the soft chuckle of the river, bringing solace to a thin, slowly moving line whose ears turned to catch it.

**

“Ow.”

Hands gripped around the staff, Xena paused and looked around at the sound, finding Gabrielle limping. or, hopping actually, behind her grabbing at one boot. “What?” She snapped, not wanting to lose concentration on her own struggle to stay upright.

“I think... a rock… ow.”

With a sigh, Xena released one hand from the staff and placed two fingers between her teeth, gathering some energy before she inhaled and let out a shrill whistle.  The line stopped moving, heads turning to look at her in question.  “Break.” She said, shortly.

With a relieved murmur, the line fractured, people scattering to find spots to rest just off the path. The ground was dry now, and many pulled out a bit of dried meat to chew on and some water as they rested.

Xena found her own felled log under the over-reaching branches and she eased herself down on it, letting the staff fall to the ground next to her as she rested her elbows on her knees. The pain in her head was growing again, and she felt dizzy and sick. Intelligence was urging her to stop and rest, but pride had intelligence in a headlock and she found herself moving forward on mostly stubbornness.

Gabrielle sat down next to her and began unlacing her boot, taking her time to untangle the hide strips before she slid the leather covering off and shook it out with industrious vigor.

Xena merely sat watching her.

After a minute of effort, Gabrielle laid the boot across her knee and dusted her foot off. Then she pulled the boot back on and started lacing it again.

“So, where’s the rock?” Xena drawled.

“It fell out.”

“No, it didn’t.”

Gabrielle pointed. “Sure it did – there it is!”

“That was there.”

“No it wasn’t. At least, I don’t think it was, was it?”

“Know what I think?” The queen rested her chin on her fist. “I think you invented that rock to force me to stop walking.”

Gabrielle finished tying her laces and set her foot down, resting her elbows on her knees in mimicry of the queen’s posture and looking at her. “Well.” She nibbled her lip. “It.... um... worked.”

“Mm.” The queen let her eyes close briefly.

Gabrielle hesitated, seeing the drawn look on the taller woman’s face. “Could we stay here for a while?”

Blue orbs appeared. “Why?”

“Well… um…” A breath. “I’m really tired. I’d like to rest for a while.”

Xena gazed at her. “Cheeky wench, aren’t you?” She managed a faint smile. “We have to keep going, Gabrielle. I have to keep going. We can’t risk being caught out in the open, and we’ve got a way to go until shelter.”

“Then let them carry you.” The girl said, softly. “They don’t mind.”

“I mind.” The queen straightened up. “I won’t do it.”

“You let them carry you in the mountain.”

Xena looked off, a scowl crossing her face. “That was different.” She turned again to look directly at Gabrielle. “I was dying.” Her voice roughened. “Wouldn’t have mattered after that.”

The girl’s breath caught. “But…”

“No.” Xena repeated, firmly.

Gabrielle took her hand and clasped it, rubbing her fingers over the chilled flesh. “Okay.”

“This was not a debate.” The queen replied, shortly. “And no more fake rocks.”  She watched the girl reach down and pick up the pebble, bringing it closer for her to see. It was hard, and brittle looking, and had a thin vein of red running through it.

From the cave. Xena looked at the girl in disbelief.

“It really was in there.” Gabrielle admitted, in a mild tone. “And it really hurt. Thanks for letting me stop to take it out.”  She carefully put the rock into her belt pouch, a fold of leather; really, she’d scrabbled from one of the chests in the castle.

“Mmph.” The queen grunted.

Brendan came over and knelt, dusting his hands off. “Mistress, there’s rough ground ahead.” He addressed her with straightforward directness. “We’ve been at the road a long day, it’s running to sundown soon. I think the civs have about had it. I’d fear to take em over the next bit.”

Xena was caught off guard. She looked at the group of resting servants, reading a measure of exhaustion in their faces, then she tipped her head back and regarded the position of the sun.

It wasn’t nearly close to sundown, and Brendan knew it. Xena let an eyebrow lift in his direction, but her captain merely looked back at her, with a benign expression.  “There’s no shelter.” She replied. “We can’t stop here.”

“Aye.” Brendan agreed. “We’d have t’build er. Men are willing. We could throw up a hut-to short order.”

Xena looked at Gabrielle, who was sitting there, her arms clasped around her knees, looking utterly innocent. The girl blinked at her, not even the hint of a grin crossing her face. She strongly sensed she was being taken for a long horse ride at night blindfolded, but looking into the eyes of these two, it was hard to dredge up a belief that the hijacking was motivated by anything other than…

Gabrielle leaned closer and pressed her cheek against Xena’s shoulder, giving her a gently adoring look.

Bulls’ balls.  “Fine.” Xena would have thrown up both hands if she had been able to find the energy. “Do it.”

Brendan nodded briskly. “Right you are, Mistress. We’ll be at it.” He stood up and ambled off, raising his voice to shout orders to the men in the front lines.

Xena tilted her head and met Gabrielle’s eyes. “You planned that.”

The girl shook her head solemnly.

The queen sighed. She wanted to be mad at both of them, but couldn’t find it in her heart to even start to be. Instead, relief coursed over her that she could continue to sit on her log, looking forward to the prospect of lying down in some corner of whatever rude shelter the men erected.

“But I would have, if I’d thought about it.” Gabrielle admitted. “We did make progress, right?”

Xena looked back the way they came, and judged distances. The ground slanted downward, and she realized they had been traveling subtly uphill for a while. No wonder the walk had gotten tougher. But the upward slope meant they were nearing the plateau that would eventually take them home, and in fact they had made better progress than she’d imagined. “Yeah.” She grunted, considering their next day’s path.

Well, she’d made it through this day; she’d make it through the next. In the meantime…  The queen leaned a little back against Gabrielle’s warmth, content to simply sit in companionable silence with her bedmate.

Lover.

Scheming little muskrat.

Xena’s eyes unfocused a little, and a slight smile moved her lips. “Hey.” She nudged Gabrielle. “Thanks for sticking by me.”

Gabrielle let her boots slide out through the leaf litter, examining the tips of them, stained from travel as her legs extended in front of her. After a moment, she looked up at Xena, with a slight shrug. “That’s what friends do.” She replied. “They stand by each other.”

“Do they?” The queen asked.

“Sure.”

“Eh.” Xena extended her own legs, her boots ending up quite a bit further than her companions’ “Learn something new every day.”

Gabrielle took her hand again and squeezed it, as though putting an exclamation point on the concept.  And at the rate I’m learning, I should be a genius by the time we get back.  The queen thought, wryly.

An absolute genius.

**

The fire crackled softly, responding to the wind whistling through the rough shelter they were all huddled under. There was no room for privacy, no space for embarrassment.  Everyone huddled next to each other in a circle around the fire and put their backs to the wind as best they could.

Xena sat with her back against one of the tree trunks that made up part of the wall; her long legs sprawled out in front of her. Gabrielle sat between them; with her boots tucked under her, as they listened to one of the soldiers sing a low, melodic song as the stars began to come out.

The man had talent. He kept his eyes on the ground, as he twisted a bit of twig between his fingers, by his very posture almost dissolving in shy mortification at performing before his queen.

On either side of Xena, Brendan and one of his senior captains were seated, providing a thin, human line of protection separating her from the rest of the crowd. But the quarters were so close, had the balance of the inhabitants wanted to attack, they would barely have had to lean forward.

Xena didn’t appear worried. She listened with her eyes half closed, her arms clasped lightly around Gabrielle’s waist.  All the odds and ends had been tossed into the one pot they’d saved, and a stew was cooking, along with slabs of traveling bread currently rough baking on hot stones by the fire.

“Your Majesty?”

Xena looked up as the song ended, meeting the young singer’s eyes. “Hm?”

“Does the song please you?”

“Are you alive?” The queen inquired, in a soft drawl.

The man nodded, uncertainly.

“Good sign.” Xena concluded, with a half grin. “Did you like it, muskrat?”

Gabrielle shifted a bit, and then rested her hands on the queen’s calves. “I liked it a lot. It’s very pretty... I think I used to hear one something like that by the men who drove the herds through Potadeia.”  She said. “It’s such a sad song, though.”

“Aye.” The singer ducked his head in acknowledgement. “Tis a drover’s song, m’lady.  He is sad because he has to leave his family so he can provide for them.”

“Did you have to do that?” The girl asked. “Leave your family?”

The soldier looked around, then back at her. “Family’s here, m’lady. Has been for a good while.”

Xena seemed pleased at the sentiment. She idly rubbed her thumb over Gabrielle’s belly and wiggled a boot, content to rest despite the discomfort of the shelter.

“I understand.” Gabrielle said. “My family’s here too, now.”

The queen’s eyes opened wider, and she glanced down as Gabrielle turned and looked up at her.  From her peripheral vision she could see the curious expressions of the crowd, all watching them and waiting to see what she’d say.

What she’d say.

Well. Xena frowned inwardly. What was she going to say?  She absorbed the gentle affection in Gabrielle’s face, and was glad her armor kept her from melting as she sat.  “That’s right.” She heard herself answer, and then she returned the looks of the crowd. “She’s blood of my blood now.”

Gabrielle’s nose wrinkled, just a little. “You have such a way with words.” She uttered softly. “Is this where we prick our fingers and rub them together?”

Xena snorted.

“Mistress?” One of the women servants said, in a soft voice.  “Are we goin home now? Back to the stronghold?”

‘That’s the idea.” Xena replied. “Then I can send an army out to find the bastards who jumped us and make sure that never happens again.”

“Mistress… could General Bregos be part of all this?” The young singer asked, unexpectedly.

“Lad.” Brendan warned.

“It’s a damn good question.” The queen answered in an even tone. “I didn’t recognize any of them. Did you?” She asked the soldier, and then let her eyes drift over to the rest of the people. “Any of you?”

After a moment’s uncertainty, most shook their heads.

“Well.” Xena commented. “They recognized me.”

Low murmurs. “Bet they’ll recognize the little one here, the next time.” Brendan said. “After her pitching rocks at em all.” His words drew tired chuckles.

The queen cocked her head. “Rocks?”  She tugged a lock of Gabrielle’s pale hair.

Her companion blinked, and issued a self-deprecating shrug. “Well, I didn’t think my stick would do any good, and I didn’t have it anyway... so I just… I picked up all the rocks I could find and started throwing them at the guys who were hitting you.”

Xena’s right eyebrow lifted. “You did, eh?”

“Got a good arm on ‘er.” Brendan commented.

Gabrielle turned to face him. “I used to throw rocks at trees to have something to do when I was out in the fields.” She admitted.

“Why didn’t you throw rocks at the sheep?” Xena asked. “At least they’d have been moving targets.”

“The sheep?” Her lover looked around at her. “That would have been mean!”

Even the queen chuckled at that. She shook her head and gave Gabrielle a light scratch on the back. In response, the smaller woman leaned back, curling up against her and releasing a contented sigh.  Xena became aware, with a sense of startlement, of the emotional intimacy of their position but could see no easy way to rearrange it other than picking Gabrielle up and tossing her out into the leaf litter.

The queen wasn’t sure she was up to that. Looking around at the circle of faces, she knew that in this moment she had unwittingly allowed more people more insight to her than at any time prior in her life. It was dangerous. But she could see no peril in the eyes watching her, and for the first time in a long while she could sense no danger, and little fear in the men and women around her.

With a slight nod, Xena settled her arms around Gabrielle and accepted the moment.  “Hey, kid.” She addressed the young soldier. “Got another song in there, or is that your only one?”

The soldiers chuckled. The servants joined them, after a brief moment of hesitation.  The young singer blushed, then nodded and cleared his throat. He paused, then inhaled and started singing again, in a gentle, clear voice that seemed to roll over them in another old song of the land.

“Mm.” Gabrielle murmured softly, under her breath.

Xena bent her head closer. “Y’know that one too, eh?”  The blond head nodded. “Me, too.” The queen admitted, lifting her head back a little, and considering a notion. After a slight shrug, she waited for the soldier to complete the first part of the song, and when he started the second, she joined him.

The sight of his eyes almost popping out of his head nearly made her stop. But after a wavering break in his voice, he recovered, and their unlikely duet went on.  The words came easily to Xena, and she found them well matched in tone and quality.

It was acceptably pleasant sounding, even to her sharp ears.  She was also aware of the look of utter charmed delight on Gabrielle’s face and the rest of the goggled eyes around her lost relevance.

Sky above us, earth beneath us, wind to carry our voices high.

We toil long, our hands one becoming with dirt that feeds us

From the earth we come, from the earth we live, to the earth we go as Charon takes us bye.

Kings will rule us, gods demand of us, life will live hard for us.

But always the land will open her arms to us, taking us back,

Welcoming us home.

When the song finished, there was silence.  Xena let her head rest back against the rough tree bark, feeling it’s irregular surface through the fabric of the cloak hood she wore.  She studied the people around her, considering the quiet, wondering faces.

It was almost a reverent silence.

Xena hated it. “I can do card tricks, too. Wanna see?” She dispelled it, with a wicked smile.

Everyone shifted and a few chuckles were heard. Gabrielle gave her a brief squeeze and shook her head.

“Mistress.” The same woman servant spoke up. “May I ask something?”

The queen considered, and then lifted one shoulder. “Sure. Why not?”

“General Bregos...” The woman hesitated, even given the permission. “He promised us our freedom.”

Xena snorted softly.

“That’s true.” Another man spoke up. “He said he would be a fair ruler.”

“That’s what I heard too.” Gabrielle said. “You know, people tried to convince me to let bad things happen to Xena because they thought the general was telling the truth.”

“He said he was.” The woman said.

Gabrielle shifted again and sat up, facing the crowd. “I think he said that, because he knew it was what you wanted to hear.”  She said. “I mean… what else could you promise people? Would you have believed him if he said he’d give a bag of gold to each of you?”

The woman chewed the inside of her lip.

“It sure was what I wanted to hear.” Gabrielle said, in a gentle voice. “To be out of this place I’d been brought to against my will.”

Xena remained silent, and still.  The servants all murmured together.

“But you turned ‘im down.” One older man said. “We heard of it.”

Gabrielle nodded. “Yeah, I did.” She said. “Because I thought about what someone very smart said about it – that what we do, someone has to do.  No matter who rules the land.”  She drew one knee up and rested her forearm on it. “And, at least we were kept in a warm place, and fed good food, which was more than I remember people having back home in Potadeia.”

“But they were free.”

“But they were dying.” Gabrielle answered. “And they were starving and miserable. So what good was it doing them?”

“But we could be killed at a whim.” The woman said. “Hers.”

Now eyes turned towards the silent queen, whose angular profile was outlined by the fire in shadows and crimson planes.  “Don’t feel bad.” Xena remarked, almost conversationally. “I kill everyone at a whim. At least you don’t pay taxes for the privilege.”

There was a moment of stunned silence. Then the woman scratched her jaw and sighed. “S’truth.”

“Why?” The young soldier asked suddenly.

“Why don’t they pay taxes? They don’t get paid.” Xena said, with a half smile. “Or why do I kill people?”

There was a sudden sense of danger around the campfire.  Perhaps the servants realized there had been a line crossed. Perhaps the soldiers did.  Brendan and Gabrielle both took in a breath at the same time to start speaking, but Xena’s raised hand stopped them both.

“Because otherwise I’d have to fill the stronghold’s dungeon with people who did stupid things. I’d have to guard them, and clean after them, and feed them. That takes money and resources that I choose instead to put towards improving the land and buying decent food for you. Wanna trade off for it?”

Eyes blinked, as everyone looked at each other.

“Can we have a little enlightened self interest, here?” The queen inquired. “Anyone?”

“But... what if you’re wrong? What if…”

“If I’m wrong, and I kill someone who didn’t deserve it, then I’ll pay the price.” Xena replied. “It’s my eternity in Tartarus I’m bucking for. I accept it. Doesn’t change how I feel. Doesn’t change how I rule.”

Utter silence.

“This is my realm. My choices.” Xena continued. “My rule.” She paused. “Deal with it.”

As the crowd digested this, Gabrielle chose to lean forward and give the stew a stir.

Black humor once against surfaced in the queen. “Tough words from a bell rung half cripple stuck out sleeping under a tree, huh?”  Xena taunted them, with wry mischief.

“S’allways been your way, Mistress.” Brendan remarked stolidly.  “Them silk panties in t’captiol never did cotton to it.” He added. “Always thought they’d paid for a bit of say.”

“Mmph.” Xena snorted, resuming her relaxed pose against her tree. The dangerous feeling had passed, but not the sense of almost intrusive intimacy with the group around her.  She watched as Gabrielle started filling up the few, rude bowls they’d saved and passing them, reserving one that she filled last and brought back along with a hunk of the travel bread to Xena.

It smelled good. Xena realized she was hungry for the first time since her injury, and that cheered her up as she recognized a good sign.  Gabrielle broke the travel bread in half and handed a portion to her, and they shared the bowl in companionable silence for a while.

“Know what?” Gabrielle broke it, after accepting a hunk of something from the stew taken off the tip of Xena’s dagger.

“What?” The queen answered, around a mouthful of bread.

“You’ve got such a pretty voice.” The blond woman said. “It’s beautiful like the rest of you.”

Caught chewing, Xena glanced around at the crowd, and hastily swallowed. “Shh. You’re ruining the wild bitch image I just worked so hard on getting back.” She muttered. “Wench.”

Gabrielle licked a bit of stew juice off the dagger, and grinned.

**

Noon the next day found them nearing the narrow valley that cut through the hills towards the capital. Here, the river they’d been following cut deeply into the rock, and they’d come to a point where the path simply vanished, and the water became the only route forward.

Brendan and the soldiers clustered around the craggy outcropping, parting as Xena made her way slowly forward to join them. “Mistress, that’s one wild bit of froth forward.”

The queen observed the fast moving water, constricted by the rock. “Sure is.” She agreed. “Better build the rafts to take it.”

“Rafts?” Her captain queried. “We’re not to cross it forward then?”

“Nope.” Xena rested her hands on her stolen stick. “I’m tired of walking. We ride the river through the rapids, over that last hill, and it’ll take us right to the damn docks of the city.”

Brendan peeked at the white water ahead of them. “Mistress, b’yer pardon, but…”  He winced. “Looks a rough ride.”

The queen nodded. “I know.” She said. “But the first part’s the worst. Once we get past that narrow point there..” She pointed. “It’s not that bad.”

“You’ve done this?” Gabrielle popped her head around from behind Xena. “Really?”

“I have.” Xena admitted. “My brother and I were running from Cortese.  We didn’t have much choice… we figured the river would be a better death than he would.”

Brendan looked at her. “B… the two of ye were just kids!”

The queen nodded again. “Stupid kids. He caught us anyway. But it was a great ride.”

The old soldier shook his head, but started moving off the rocks and towards the nearby trees. “C’mon, then lads. Let’s get t’building.”

Xena remained on the outcropping as the soldiers and some of the servants followed Brendan towards the forest, speaking together in low tones as they walked. She glanced to one side as Gabrielle joined her on the rock, glad the kid had finally got the message and wasn’t attempting to go off with them and help.

They stood together for a moment, both studying the wild river.

“Are you thinking about your brother?” Gabrielle asked.

“No.” Xena replied. Then after a pause, she cleared her throat. “Yes.”

Gabrielle put her arm around the queen in mute comfort.  “I was just thinking about Lila.” She said. “She would never have been brave enough to go do this.”

“Do what?” Xena asked. “Ride down the river or sleep with me?”

Despite the blush, Gabrielle smiled. “Either.” She confessed. “She used to call me.. the brave, crazy one in the family.” Had she been, she wondered? Or just the crazy one.  She imagined what Lila would say if she could speak to her now, seeing her here about to do something so scary it almost took her breath away to think of it.

The spray from the water moistened her skin, and she decided to kneel down, and see how cold it really was.  Her fingers touched the water, and it tingled, so she drew her hand back with a bit of the water cupped in it and took a drink.

It was cold, and sweet.

“Hey.” Xena’s voice sounded, raised slightly to carry over the rushing river. “Use this.”

Gabrielle turned and accepted the wooden cup. She scooped it full, then stood and offered it to the queen. Xena gracefully dipped her head and took a sip as she held the cup, then straightened and jerked her head, indicating the rest was for her companion.

The queen draped an arm over Gabrielle’s shoulders as she drank, glad to be standing still as her plan was put in force behind her. “You know what the first thing I thought about you was?”

Gabrielle nearly inhaled a noseful of the water. She looked quickly at Xena, then wiped the back of her hand over her mouth. “What?”

Xena cocked her head to one side. “I thought… what is this crazy slave dragging a water trough outside for?”

“Trough?” The blond woman frowned, her brow creasing as she thought. “When was this?”

“Day you got here… maybe the day after.”

Gabrielle tried to remember those awful days, but found it difficult to connect with the desolate, grief stricken person she’d been in that time.  If she concentrated, she could just recall the awful night, and the aching, and the utter frustration in her that had boiled out and….  “You saw me go off on that post.”

Xena nodded.

“I took a little bit of it.”

“After you whacked the Hades out of it, yeah.” The queen agreed.

“I knew….”  Gabrielle felt her throat tighten. “Some.. of Lila was on that wood. I wanted to keep a piece of it.” She looked off down the river. “It was all I had.”  Her chest moved as she took a deep breath. “Sounds pretty silly, I guess.”

“No it doesn’t.” Xena told her, in a quiet voice. She let her walking stick rest against her shoulder and dug in the small pouch hanging from her belt, removing something and holding it out on her palm.

It was a small bit of rock.  Curious, Gabrielle picked it up and looked at it, seeing faded, dark stains that cut through the fabric of the stone almost like rust.

Rust. She looked up at Xena.

“From where I found him lying dead, yeah.” The queen answered. “So when I saw you do that, I thought… ‘hey, look. Another whacko like me.’”

Gabrielle put the stone back in her palm, and curled her fingers around it.

“Except this time I was the person who put you in that place.” Xena added. “And I think that was the moment I realized how much I’d let them make me become just like them.”

“Xena…”

“Oh, not right then.” The queen almost chuckled. “Then all I was thinking about was how strange you were, and wondering if you were nuts.” She sighed, after a moment. “The other thing came a long time after that.”  She turned and drew Gabrielle with her, making a careful way down the rocks towards the sound of the work in progress.

Gabrielle held her thoughts, as she accompanied the queen along the pine needle strewn path, their steps crunching through the fallen leaves and releasing a soft scent of pine to her nose. The workers had already started to chop down trees, and along with the scent of pine was the smell of freshly cut wood.

How would they do it? She wondered. It would take many rafts to carry all of them, and they had no ropes to tie the logs with. “Xena? How are they going to connect everything?”

Xena paused, and they stood near a thickly leaved bush watching the activity. “Bark.”  The queen said.

“Woof.” Gabrielle replied, obediently. “Woof, woof woof.”

Caught in the act of drawing a breath to continue her instruction, Xena ended up spluttering into a laugh instead. She leaned against her staff for support, unable to cease her chuckles for several moments.  “That wasn’t what I meant.” She finally said, with a sigh.

“Well, you said…”  Gabrielle was secretly delighted at hearing the laughter, and from the startled faces she caught in her peripheral vision she wasn’t the only one. “Bark. So I did.”

Xena removed her dagger from her belt and faced the nearest tree, cutting into it to a certain length and removing a strip of the material. She presented it to Gabrielle. “Tree bark.” She said, “Look.” She flexed it between her fingers, showing her companion the tough threads inside. “Not as good as rope, but it’ll work.”

“Oh.” Gabrielle took the bark and twisted it, bringing it to her nose and sniffing the piney scent. “I get it.” She turned to see the men near the felled logs, now stripping them of the bark. It started to make sense. More soldiers were cutting the branches off, and trimming them to uniform lengths. “What are those for?”

“Lay on top – give us something more solid to stand on.” Xena said. “And the big ones – that we’ll use to push off the sides.. keep us straight.”

Gabrielle slowly nodded. “Wow… that’s pretty cool.” She looked up at the queen. “But I don’t see any safety rails.”

Xena’s lips twitched. “There aren’t any.”  She replied.

“Ah.”

“Problem?”

Gabrielle bit the inside of her lip. “Not if you hang on to me.”

At that, the queen smiled, putting her arm once again around Gabrielle’s shoulders and pulling her closer. “Gabrielle, my adorable little muskrat, don’t you worry. If you go overboard, I’m going with you.” She reassured her. “You’re mine.”

“I’m yours.” Gabrielle agreed. “But you know what?”

“What?” Xena asked.

“Your mine, too.”  The blond woman said. “Aren’t you?”

Xena grinned silently for a bit, then exhaled, stirring Gabrielle’s hair with her breath. “Yeah.” She said. “But don’t you tell anyone or I’ll skin you.”  She warned. “Got it?”

“Okay.” Gabrielle said, feeling her face stretch out in a grin nonetheless. “How are you feeling?” She changed the subject, sensing the arm over her wasn’t just from affection.

“Tired.” The queen admitted, in a low voice. “I just keep wanting to go to damn sleep. Not a good sign.” She moved her head, wincing. “I need a nice soft bed, and some extremely decadent pampering, with lots of cute blond bedmates mixed in somewhere.”

Gabrielle decided she’d like that too, and that meant the faster they could raft down the river, then the better it would be. Right? She watched the men fastening the rafts together, and hoped they were as sturdy as they looked, because she really didn’t want to end up, with queen or no, in that darn cold water.

Drinking it was fine. Dunking her body into it was giving her chills just thinking about it.

“All right, boys – let’s drag her forward, clear t’space.” Brendan ordered, helping the men to drag the first raft forward and towards the river.

“Get them done, then we’ll divvy up who goes where.” Xena said. She tipped her head back and gazed up at the sky. “I want to get this over with before sundown. I got someplace I wanna be when the stars come out tonight.”

Gabrielle suddenly remembered their new quarters, with it’s windows on the sky.  Then she turned to watch the men and the rafts, the work now going far too slow to her eyes. Funny how less intimidating the river looked now, that it was a fast path carrying her to someplace she really wanted to be.

**

The raft was bucking up and down, and Gabrielle was glad she was kneeling in it’s center, with Xena’s powerful grip firmly clamped around her.  Ten of the soldiers, and four servants clambered unsteadily on around them, and when the last had a good hold, the raft was released.

Oh… gods. Gabrielle found herself staring ahead of her at a wall of white water, as the rising rocks rushed past her on either side. The spray washed over the raft and doused them, causing her to inhale sharply at the shock of the icy water.

The raft shivered as it struck a submerged rock, and she pitched forward, but found herself hauled back into place by the queen’s strong arm. “Wow.”

“Fun, huh?” Xena was kneeling on one knee, her other leg braced against a wood knot and her hand firmly wrapped around one of the branch stumps the men had left for holds on their roughly made transport. Her free arm, of course, was curled around Gabrielle’s body, holding her close and firmly now in place.

“Um.” Gabrielle scrabbled for a handhold, feeling the rough bark scrape against her hands. “Well…”

“Raft virgin.” The queen seemed to be in surprisingly good spirits.

“That’s for sure.” The raft whirled to one side, throwing them all around, then straightened with a vicious twist, nearly sending several of the men closest to the edge over it. “Whoa!”

Gabrielle glanced behind them, spotting the next raft bucking up and down in their wake. She wondered if they looked as terrified as the people on that one did, then she looked up to see Xena’s eyes fixed ahead, her profile the embodiment of a wild, natural courage that made the venture seem tame in comparison.

Must be nice.  The water plowed up over the front of the raft, nearly threatening to stand it on it’s end. Gabrielle yelped as she slid backwards, scraping her boots against the wood to try and find purchase. Then the water behind them sloshed up and she was tossed forward almost onto her nose.  “H.. how much longer?”

“We just started.” Xena released a chuckle. “C’mon… loosen up. This is fun!”

Fun. Gabrielle held on to the queen’s arm and somehow righted herself, just in time to be tossed to the side as the surface under her feet tilted.  “Yeah… Fun…. “ She squeaked. “Like cleaning sheep poop.”

“Hey.. are you my brave lover, or just a squeaking muskrat?” Xena asked, loosening her grip on the raft so she could get a better hold on Gabrielle, wrapping her arms around her companion and clasping her securely.  “Which is it?” She rasped, right into her ear.

Oo. Good question.  Gabrielle shivered, not entirely from the cold.

“I’ve got you.” The queen said. “Trust me, Gabrielle.”

She’s here. I’m safe.  The blond woman took hold of one of the wooden nubs, and resolved to enjoy the ride as much as Xena seemed to be.  The water swirled ahead of them, tilting the raft from side to side, and as she held on, Gabrielle sensed an almost rhythm about it.

And then, just like that, she was no longer at the mercy of the water, she was riding it, caught up in the rush and excitement of the experience.

Maybe it was the closeness of Xena’s body, it’s warm length pressed against her.

Maybe it was the danger.

Gabrielle laughed softly. Maybe she just was the crazy, brave one after all. They slid down the side of a whitecapped wave, and she let out a yell, leaning forward and anticipating the tilt and whirl as the raft spun to one side, then straightened out again and rode the next wave.

“Atta girl.” Xena praised her. “Life hands you a lemon, Gabrielle… squeeze it and spit the pits at your enemies.”

Gabrielle turned her head and gazed at the queen in puzzlement. “What?”

The queen leaned close to her, kissing her on the lips as they whirled sharply, spray drenching both of them. “This is living.” She said, drawing back to look Gabrielle in the eye. “Savor it.”

Then they were rushing almost straight down for a long moment, only to be tossed up like a leaf on the wind as the river plunged down between two stark walls of rock. Gabrielle inhaled in surprise as the river dropped out from under them, and she knew an endless moment of flight. Her heart leaped up into her throat, then settled back where it belonged when they caught up the water again and slide sideways and downwards in a thundering splash.

“Whoa.” This time it was Xena who exclaimed it, shaking her head to move now drenched dark hair out of her eyes.  She glanced down at the bedraggled little muskrat in her arms, and planted a kiss on the blond head under her chin. “Good one.”

“Hey!!!” Gabrielle suddenly yelped, squirming around in Xena’s arms and reaching for the front of her tunic. “Yow! Yow!”

The queen’s eyes widened in bemusement.

“Baaahhh!!” With a shiver, Gabrielle yanked something out of her shirt and held it up. “Xena!”

“That was in your shirt!?” The queen demanded. “C’mere. Off with his head.”

She reached for the fish, but Gabrielle divined her purpose and threw the small fish as far as she could, bouncing him off the nearest soldier and into the water. “He didn’t mean it.”

“That’s no excuse!!” Xena yelled back. “He tries it again, he’ll  be a fillet for dinner! Nobody messes around inside my muskrat’s shirt while I’m around to catch em!”

A memory surfaced before Gabrielle’s eyes, of her father, and her sister – and how there hadn’t been anyone there to say that for Lila when she’d needed it the most.

Then she had no time to savor the moment, as the raft swiveled sideways, and they were heading down another long slope.  “YaaahhhhH!!!!!!!!”

“Yeah!” Xena laughed, enjoying the ride to the fullest. The rough action and the icy spray had taken her mind completely off her injury, and she was, as she’d told Gabrielle, simply savoring the experience.  The wind blew her hair back, and it’s chill contrasted with the rich warmth she felt where her body and Gabrielle’s were pressed together and the queen decided that it just didn’t get much better than this very often.

The raft sped down the slope, then crested with the wave, flying up and over the water to come crashing back down in a flume of white water.

Gabrielle glanced behind them, and hoped everyone was hanging on really tight. She knew she herself would have been tossed overboard long ago if it weren’t for Xena’s powerful anchoring. She could hear screams, and yells of alarm, but the raft was twisting under her again and she didn’t have time to look long.

The river was really racing now, traveling downward between the two high cliffs, it’s thunder masking out any other sound. The sun was high overhead, and the reflections of it on the rocks, and the water, and the few, crystal droplets on Xena’s cheek were seared into Gabrielle’s dream eye with vivid, almost violent clarity.

“Here’s the tough part.” The queen commented cheerfully, pointing at a narrow pass.

“Now?” Gabrielle gasped, as a cold wave almost swamped them.

“Hang on.”

“I am.”

“To me.”

Gabrielle let go of the stub, and half turned, wrapping her arms around Xena as tightly as she could. The queen jammed one boot under a lashing, and took another wrap of the hide around her hand. The raft tilted and whirled, and for a long, dangerous moment tipped so far to one side she was sure they were going over.

The walls narrowed rapidly, and her eyes widened as she judged the width of the raft against the hole they were heading for. “Are we going to make it???”

“One way or another.” Xena replied. “Hang on!”

Gabrielle surrendered to her better judgement and screwed her eyes shut, burying her face in Xena’s shoulder and simply doing what she was told. She locked her hands around her wrists and trusted in the queen’s strength to bring them home.

She felt a violent wrench to the right, then one to the left, and heard a creaking, as the raft slowed suddenly to almost a standstill.

Then a loud crack made her jump, and they were moving again, tumbling through the opening only to drop unexpectedly into thin air.

Gabrielle screamed, though the sound was muffled by Xena’s overtunic, as her stomach rose up and almost exited her ears. Then it was over, and they impacted the water so hard she felt Xena’s whole body lift up and slam down, and the queen’s hold on her tightened to an almost painful degree.

The raft tipped up, and she felt them rising.

“Uh oh.”

Gabrielle’s eyes popped wide open and she inhaled, that one set of syllables from Xena more frightening than whole legions of rivers and rickety rafts. “What!”

“I think I’m gonna sneeze.”

Was she joking? Was she…. A thousand questions ran through Gabrielle’s mind and then…

And then, it was over. The raft plunged one last time, and settled, still moving fast, but moving evenly across the surface of the water.  Gabrielle felt her heart settle a little, and her breathing slowed. After a moment, something rapped on the top of her head. “Mm?”

“You can come out now.”

She opened one eye and peeked upward,  to see a drenched, yet gorgeous woman looking back at her. Slowly, she turned her head, to see the river now running smoothly under them, still sloping downward, but at a far, far more gentle rate. “We did it?”

“We did it.” Xena confirmed. “Not sure if we didn’t lose people..” She released her grip on Gabrielle and raked her wet hair out of her eyes. Turning, she surveyed the other people on their raft, who were shaken and obviously terrified, even the soldiers.  “Everyone all right?”

There was a bit of doubt. “Think so, Mistress.” One of the soldiers finally said. “But that was the damndest thing I ever done.”

A murmur of agreement went up, as the shaken men and women eased away from death grips on the wooden raft  One man went to the front, where a big chunk of the first log had been ripped away.

Gabrielle sat down on the raft and tried to relax her shaking limbs. It had been the damndest thing, all right, but you know? They’d made it.  She blew out a breath, stirring the wet hair on her forehead and nodded.

They’d made it.

Xena ruffled her hair, easing down onto the raft next to her. “Thanks for trusting me.” She commented.

Gabrielle smiled. “Always.”  She replied. “Now we just ride home?”

“Yep” The queen said. “We’re home free.”

**

Continued in Part 20

Shadows of the Soul

Part 20

It was glorious. The sun burst out from behind the clouds and lit the river in a million shades of blue and green as they swept around a tight, fast bend and found the plateau opening out before them.  Gabrielle felt her jaw drop open, and her eyes widen at the beauty of it – the forest and grasslands spreading out intersected by the river, and then in the distance, the soaring towers of the stronghold basking in the light. “Oh, wow.”

“What?” Xena looked up from where she was kneeling, one hand spread to steady herself on the raft’s surface. “You have to piddle or something?”

“No.” Gabrielle rested a hand on the queen’s soaked shoulder. “It’s so beautiful.” She exhaled. “It like a fantasy land.”

Xena’s blue eyes rolled. “Gabrielle, I love you, but if you say that again I’m gonna chuck your cute butt overboard and feed you to the salmon.”

Her companion grinned, slightly. “Would you?” She asked. “Are the salmon that big here?”

The queen glanced around at the rest of the raft’s occupants. Most of them were just hanging on tight, with varying expressions of relief and exhaustion.  With a faint smirk, she eased up onto her knees and flexed the hand she’d been leaning on, then she looked very briefly at the water before lunging forward and sticking her hand in the river without warning.

“Hey!” Gabrielle grabbed hold of her cloak in reflex.

Xena pulled her arm back, and to Gabrielle’s utter startlement, there was a fish on the end of it.  With a snicker, the queen tossed the fish at her, and she had to let go and try to catch it, juggling the offended Piscean with fumbling hands. “Yow! Yow!!! Augh!”

The queen started laughing.

Gabrielle fell down on her butt and grabbed hold of the fish, clutching it to her chest with wide eyes. “Great Hera!”

Xena flicked water, and an errant scale off her fingers and resumed her crouched position, swaying with the motion of the raft as it continued on downstream. “Big enough for ya?”

“How did you do that?” The girl blurted. “You just reached in and grabbed it!”

Dark lashes batted at her. “I’m good with my hands.” The queen drawled. “Or.. so I’m told.”

Gabrielle looked around at all the tired, but amused faces watching her. She promptly turned as pink as the fish she held to her. It wiggled. She stared at it, then turned appealing eyes to Xena. “Now what?”

“If you hit it hard enough on the head, it’ll croak.” Xena suggested.

“Ew.”

The queen rolled her eyes again. “Or you could just toss it overboard. They swim.” She said. “Unlike certain muskrats I know.” She reached out and yanked on the toe of Gabrielle’s boot. “Not like we can cook it out here, and I’m not in the mood for raw fish.” A pause. “At the moment.”

Gabrielle glanced quickly at her, sure in her heart there was a sex joke in there somewhere based on the soft chortles she heard from the men. “Well.” She examined her catch, which was a fine specimen of salmon, big and heavy,  just at the start of its run up the mountain. “If we keep it, I know a really great way of cooking it.”

Xena chuckled. “It could be a while, Gabrielle.” She said. “River’s got half a day to run before we’re at the gates.”

“Hm.” Unwilling to give up her unexpected prize, Gabrielle considered the problem. She looked around, then she eased over to a bit of extra bark stripping the men had tossed aboard for repairs in route before they left.

Working quickly, aware of the watching eyes, she managed to get an end down the fish’s maw and out it’s gills and tied it off, then she tossed the salmon in the water, holding on to the other end of the bark. “There.”  She said, wrapping the end of the bark around her hand as the fish trailed unwillingly behind them. “Darned if I’ll give up dinner that fast.”

The queen produced a grin at the sight of the expression of triumph on her bedmate’s face. Then she shook her head and turned, taking a seat at last on the deck as the river widened, and it’s flow gentled. They’d made it.

Damn, she was tired. Xena knew herself to be at the end of her resources, and she spared a moment to be glad she’d lasted as long as she had. She really wanted no more than to just lay herself down on the raft and close her eyes, but she knew full well she’d see herself dancing buck naked on a tree stump before she’d do that in front of all these now respectfully watching eyes.

Even something to lean on would be nice, though.  Xena shifted, and got herself a little more comfortable.

Then she almost jumped off the raft as something very warm pressed up against her back. “Son of a..” She bit off the yelp as she realized it was Gabrielle, who had crawled over to sit back to back with her.

“Sorry.” Gabrielle said. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Scare me?” The queen snorted. “In your dreams, muskrat.” She relaxed, finding the unexpected support both pleasant and welcome, nevertheless. She wondered if Gabrielle had done it on purpose, then figured even though the little scamp was clever, reading Xena’s mind was thankfully still beyond her.

“So.. how did you do it?” Gabrielle asked, in a low voice.

“Catch the fish?”

“Yeah.”

Xena examined one of her hands, it’s long, powerful fingers half closed. “Just something I learned how to do.” She said. “When you’re hungry, you learn a Hades of a lot of things. I was. I did.”  She felt the warm pressure as her lover pressed her cheek against Xena’s shoulderblade.  “You just know where they are, and go get them.” Her hand closed into a fist.

“Well, I think it’s pretty amazing. In Potadeia, they fished in the river, but no one could do what you did.” Gabrielle replied. “So, I promise I’ll make the best salmon ever for you, when we get to dry land again.”

Xena could almost taste it. No matter how it was prepared, the damn thing would taste the same as all the rest of Gabrielle’s dishes did – spiced with the delicate savor of a true and honest love that her mouth gently watered for.

Ugh. The queen slapped the side of her head. Gotta stop thinking that stuff. I’ll go blind.

“Are you okay?” Gabrielle whispered.

“Peachy.”

The younger woman studied her boots, the leather darkened almost to black from the water. “Wish I had one.”

Xena’s eyebrows jerked upward. “What?”

“A peach.”

“You have a salmon.”

Gabrielle sighed, and shifted a little. “Well, sure, but I’m hungry now, and I don’t want raw fish any more than you do. If I had a peach, I could eat the whole thing right now.”

“No, you couldn’t.”

The blond woman turned her head and looked up. “Why not?”

“I’d get half, wouldn’t I?”

A soft chuckle sounded over the river’s rippling. “That’s true.”  Gabrielle looked around, catching the eye of the nearest soldier, who was gripping a branch at the ready to push off from the shore if they got too close. The man grinned at her, and gave her a thumbs up. She returned the gesture, hoping it was as friendly as she thought it was.

Apparently it was. As she looked around again, she could see faces turned her way that no longer held wariness or suspicion, but instead just acceptance.

It was a strange feeling, Gabrielle thought. Almost as though she’d passed some test, and been accepted into this odd family of men, and their leader.  One of the soldiers was casually drinking from a waterskin, and as she watched, he finished and held it out to her.

She took it, thirsty despite all the water around her, and drank, handing it back to him when she was done. “Thanks.”

The man merely grinned, and handed the skin on to another soldier.

Sitting here, on a roughly made raft, cold, with splinters in places she didn’t even want to identify, Gabrielle really stopped feeling like an outsider for the very first time. This was her place. She gazed around at the men, and the servants beside them.

This was home.

“Hey, muskrat?”

That was home, too. “Yes, your Majesty?”

Xena cleared her throat meaningfully.

“Well, it’s not like I can call *you* muskrat, can I?”

“Not unless you want to be introduced to that fish’s cousins the hard way.” Xena replied. “Nobody calls me muskrat and lives.”

“Of course not.” Her companion agreed.

“Damn straight.”

“You’re so not a muskrat anyway.”

“How would you know?” The queen queried. “I had to tell you what one was.”  She paused for a moment, then half turned to watch Gabrielle’s windswept profile. “What am I?” Her eyes searched her lover’s face intently, wondering and daring her to answer.

Gabrielle gazed steadily at her. “Xena, I grew up on a sheep farm. Don’t ask me that.”

For a moment, the queen could only be shocked. Then she started laughing.

“I mean it… what kind of experience of animals do you think I’ve had?”

Xena laughed harder, despite the pain in her head, and the exhaustion of her body. The rest of the journeyers on their raft joined in, laughing more at seeing their queen in this state of joy than from the odd joke.

“Sheep, goats, cows, horses… chickens… “ Gabrielle carried on. “Ducks.”

“Quack.” Xena managed to get out.

“Squirrels.”

“Stop it.” The queen gently craned around and put a hand over Gabrielle’s mouth. “You’re going to make me fall over into the damned river.”  She waited, to let the chuckling die down, the removed her fingers. “Scrappy little shepherd.”

Gabrielle felt her lips pull up into a grin. Then she laid her cheek against Xena’s shoulderblade again. “I can’t wait till we get home.”

Both dark brows jerked upward. “To cook your fish?”

“That too.”

“Oo.” Xena found herself looking forward to it as well. “Damn, you learn fast.”

“I had the best teacher.”

The queen faced round again, and surrendered the field, general enough to know herself momentarily bested.

But she was still smiling, and the river just couldn’t move them along fast enough.

**

It was Xena, injured as she was, that noticed first. She pushed herself up to her knees as the rafts swept around the last curve before the stronghold, her sharp eyes catching sight of something that ripped an oath from her lips. “Stop the rafts!”

Uncertain, Gabrielle leaped up as Xena lunged for the nearby bank, grabbing hold of the queen as the queen grabbed hold of an overhanging branch, somehow bringing the raft to a halt with sheer strength.

Behind them, the other rafts scrambled to follow, men extending arms over the water to pull the trailing crafts in and keep them from rushing on down the river. Luckily, the current was far milder here, and no one’s arms got ripped from their sockets, nor did anyone fall overboard.

“What is it?” Gabrielle panted, struggling to keep hold of Xena’s robes. “Xena!”

“Shh.” The queen straightened to her full height, staring off at the stronghold, her eyes shaded by one had now that the soldiers had rushed to secure the raft from her. “See that?” She pointed.

Everyone looked. For a moment, the men all looked at each other, as no one spotted anything, then Brendan let out a sound halfway between a bark and a yell and also pointed. “Tis under siege!” He gasped. “Ares’ balls!”

Now they could see, just barely against the lowering clouds what Xena’s eyes had seen first – smoke and a rising mist of dust before the far off gates. “Sons of Bacchae.” The queen seemed half disgusted, and half amused. “Stupid bastards.”

Gabrielle felt her heart drop. Just when it had looked like they were almost there, now this. “Oh.”  She turned to look at Xena. “What is it?”

The other rafts had pulled hard against the bank, amidst a crackle of breaking branches, and creaking wood.  Xena turned deliberately and surveyed her little navy, then shook her head with a deeply heartfelt sigh. “A mess.” She replied. “Just a damn mess.”

The queen rested one hand on a branch and studied the far off battle. “Well, first off, we need to get off these damn rafts. We’ll have to go on foot the rest of the way. Banks are too broad down there – they see us coming and we can’t stop, we’ll all end up fish food.”

“Gah.” Brendan exhaled. “Right you are, mistress.” He lifted his voice and repeated her orders down the line.

With uttered curses, the men started to tie the rafts off to the trees, two of the soldiers on their craft drawing knives to begin carving a path out of the thick riverside brush so they could get to the banks.

Xena watched for a moment, then she walked to the front, turning her back on the work as she stared off at the stronghold. After a brief hesitation, Gabrielle joined her, putting a tentative hand on the queen’s back.

“Gabrielle.” Xena folded her arms, keeping her balance by some mysterious skill as the raft rocked back and forth under their weight. “We are not pleased.”

“No, we certainly aren’t.” Gabrielle sighed. “What could be happening?”

“Hm.” A dark eyebrow lifted. “If I was a betting woman, which I am, I’d say Brego’s minions, and the rest of that rag tag excuse for an army of his are trying to take over the city.”

“Oh.”

“I’d say he waited for me to leave, and pounced.” The queen added. “And, I’d say the only reason he’s still out there is that my friend the Duke proved he was worth the velvet pants his balls were cradled in and actually stuck with me.”

“Wow.” Gabrielle gazed respectfully at her friend. “It’s like you were there. You know exactly what happened.”

A tiny, self deprecating grin crossed Xena’s face. She casually glanced behind her, then cocked her head. “I planned it.”  She said, in a low tone.

Gabrielle blinked. Then she blinked again. Then she turned and looked at Xena with a scrunched up face. “What?”

Xena chuckled softly. “My piece of brilliant strategy. Draw Bregos out and put my heir to the test, all in one strike, before the first snow falls.”

“You planned that?”

“Mm.” A half shrug. “Well, I calculated it out, and put the right triggers in place. And it worked.” She slapped her leg. “Damned if it didn’t work.”

Her companion scrubbed her face with one hand. “But… we’re out here, and we…”

“Ah, yes, but.” Xena exhaled. “Yeah, I didn’t calculate in having my ass kicked and ending up on the outside with a bunch of guys, a few weapons, and an adorable muskrat without a plan, no.”

“Oh.” There was a bittersweet expression on the queen’s face that intrigued Gabrielle. “What was your plan, then? To come riding back to the rescue?”

Blue eyes shifted and regarded her.

“It was, wasn’t it?”

“Something like that.” Xena admitted. “Now, I still have to do it, but with out horses and with a scrambled head.” She sighed. “Life’s little challenges. Gotta love em.” She studied the far off chaos. “Feels good to be right about someone though.” Her eyes dropped to her companion’s. “That’s two in a row. I’m on a roll.”

Gabrielle had to smile, despite this new, and somewhat daunting complication.  The last words had been in a softer, reflective tone and the look on Xena’s face was something she treasured. “Was I the first one?” She asked, though she really knew the answer already.

“Yeah.” Xena nodded slowly.  “You were… first in a really long time.”  Unexpectedly, she enfolded Gabrielle in her arms and hugged her tightly, then just as abruptly released her and bumped her towards the shore. “Let’s go.”

Her mind still whirling from the intensity of the contact, Gabrielle tagged along, wrapping her hand into Xena’s cloak as the queen made her way off the raft and onto solid ground.

It felt strange, when she’d gotten together her presence of mind long enough to feel anything, and she thought for a moment the ground was rocking under her so long had they been on the water. But after a few minutes her balance steadied, and she followed the queen through the thick brush and up a steep slope away from the river.

They gathered in the most clear spot they could find, between two patches of short, scrubby trees.  Brendan directed the soldiers, steering two of them carrying one of the few remaining wooden boxes of gear towards the base of the tree on the highest ground. “Put ‘er there, lads.” He instructed. “We’ll need er as a table.”

“How about a throne?” Xena gently booted the men out of the way and took a seat on the box, fluffing her cloak out around her with regal elegance, despite the fact that she was covered in river muck and still half drenched.

With a flick of her fingers, she rearranged her bangs, and waited while the men and women slowly gathered around her.  “All right.”  The queen addressed them, when they were still and quiet. “Looks like we’ve got a problem.”

Brendan coughed.

“Mistress, is it Bregos?” One of the older soldiers asked. “Seems his cowardly ways.”

“To wait for me to leave?” Xena asked, watching the nodding heads around her. “Yeah.” A brief smile crossed her face. “He’s gutless. He knows he can’t win against me, so looks like he figured to try the easy way out.”

“Woudlna surprise me to find he’s the bastard behind them brigands in the hills.” Brendan spoke up. “Figgured to grease his odds.”

The queen looked thoughtful at that. “Maybe.” She jerked her head to one side. “Doesn’t matter now. Forget about it. We’ve got this to deal with now.”

Gabrielle had taken a seat next to Xena’s throne box, and wrapped her arms around her upraised knees. She knew she had very little to add to the situation, and resigned herself to doing the best she could at what she was good at.

She felt one of her eyebrows twitch up at that. What was she good at, anyway?  Especially in the middle of what looked like it was going to be a big fight?

Her shoulder was pressed against Xena’s leg, and she could smell the river dampness coming off her clothes. She could also feel tremors in the queen’s body, and she realized the cool, relaxed, collected act Xena was putting on was just that, an act.

Okay, so, she was good at taking care of the queen, wasn’t she? That’s what she’d do. Gabrielle leaned her cheek against Xena’s knee, and was rewarded by the feel of long fingers running gently through her hair.

Gods, she loved that feeling. It was one of the very first things Xena had done to her, one of the first indications she’d had that the queen was growing to like her and she still felt a special thrill deep in her guts every time she did it.

“So, here’s the plan.” Xena was saying. “First thing’s first. We need to find out what the layout is, and what he’s got.”

“Aye, Mistress. Me and six lads’r already packed up. We’ll go as your finished.” Brendan spoke up confidently. “Don’t you worry, we’ll scope her for ya.”  He cleared his throat. “Best the rest of us stay back here, out of sight. Don’t wanta ruin the surprise, like.”

Xena gazed at him, then chuckled dryly. “What the Hades are you still sitting here for then? Get your ass moving.” She waved him off. “We don’t have all day. I’m sick and tired of being wet and cranky. I want a hot bath, and warm bed, and my torridly passionate bedmate in just exactly that order.”

Gabrielle just closed her eyes, and pretended the chuckles were for some poor beaver tripping somewhere and falling on it’s nose.  There was a rustle of much movement, then she opened her eyes to see the soldiers leaving, and the rest of the group breaking up to make some kind of camp while they were gone.

She tipped her head back and looked up at Xena. “What can I do for you?” She asked, sincerely.

Xena leaned back against the tree, and relaxed. “Shoot me.”

“I don’t think so.”

The queen sighed. “How about something hot to swallow, then?” The fascade slipped a little. “And if anything in my damn kit’s dry, I’d trade you a palace for it.”

“You got it.” Gabrielle kissed her knee, then got up and flexed her hands. The cold wind had stiffened them, and if it was making her miserable, she could only imagine how the already injured queen must have felt.  She studied the pale face next to her, then impulsively took it in her hands, and leaned closer, kissing the queen on the lips with a gentle passion.

She felt the skin under her fingertips warm, as Xena’s hands curled around her thighs, pulling her closer.  All the watching eyes didn’t matter, as she concentrated on the wonderful, wild force she could feel rising in her, igniting a burning in her guts that threw off the chill like magic.

Maybe it would do that for Xena, too.  Gabrielle drew her head back a little to breathe, and watched the queen’s eyes flutter open, fixing on her with an indescribable expression.  “It… um.. was faster than rubbing two sticks together?” She whispered.

“Sure was.” The queen whispered back. “Keep it up, and the heat’ll dry my clothes out.”  She let her hand drift slowly down Gabrielle’s leg. “Who the Hades needs fire?”

Gabrielle needed no further invitation. She leaned back in and explored Xena’s lips with her own, as her fingers traced lightly over the queen’s cheekbones, and into the thick, dark hair.

Dear gods, it felt good. Gabrielle felt a low almost growl work it’s way out of her throat, as Xena’s grip moved her even closer, and their bodies pressed together.

Incongruously, she wondered if there would be steam rising over their heads if she looked.

Then she just decided not to look.

“Mmmmm…. Is it ever good to be the queen.” Xena uttered, between gentle, lover’s bites.

**

Darkness had fallen, and the men had not yet come back.  The remaining troops and servants had settled into the scrub, scraping out as best a camp as they could, making tiny, smokeless fires shielded by walls to block the light from the direction of the stronghold.

It had gotten colder as the light failed, but at least most of their clothing had dried and now they huddled in small groups together, soldiers and servants mingling without bias between them.

Under a gnarled, half dead tree in the center of the group was the box, and sitting in front of the box, leaning against it was Xena.  Her long legs were extended towards the fire, boots crossed casually at the ankle and she cradled a traveling cup that had steam rising from it in both hands.

The nearest bodies to her were with in easy reach, one man’s elbow was almost brushing her leg. There was no tension in the air, though, and whether caused by their joint exhaustion or a growing sense of trust, there was a distinct and quiet peace about the campfire.

Unfortunately, the peace did not extend to the tall, dark figure in it’s midst.  Xena’s fingers shifted and flexed around her cup, and if she’d been standing up, she’d surely have been tapping the toe of her boot in impatience.

“Maybe they’re just being careful.” Gabrielle murmured, taking a sip from her own cup. Her voice was lightly hoarse, as she’d just finished telling a story to pass the time. “That’s good, right?”

“There’s such a thing as too careful.” The queen growled. “I want them back here, damn it, right now.”

Gabrielle watched the queen’s profile. “Want me to go find them?” She offered.

Xena looked at her. “Tell me you’re kidding.”

“I wasn’t.”

“You little nutball.” The queen chided her. “It’s dark. You’ve got no clue where we are, and you couldn’t track a walking cow through the forest.”

“And?” Gabrielle blinked innocently at her.

“You really think I’d let you take one step away from me?” Xena’s voice sounded incredulous.

A smile. “No.”

Xena snorted. “Damn straight.”

“But I know it’s what you want to do, so I thought I’d at least offer.” Gabrielle took another sip of the hot herbal tea in her cup, savoring the soothing moisture on her throat. “I’m sure they’re okay.”

“Well, I’m not.” The queen frowned. “It shouldn’t have taken them this long. If I’d have gone…” She let the words trail off, and exhaled. “Let’s go back to kissing. That’ll take my mind off it.”

Gabrielle stroked her arm comfortingly.

Xena remained grumpily silent for a bit, then, as one of the men stirred the fire, her head came up and a low, urgent bark issued from her throat.

Everyone froze. The sound of the flames consuming the pine needles suddenly seemed like an avalanche in the abrupt silence.

Then a soft, steady crunching of approaching footsteps were clearly heard. Half the soldiers in the clearing jumped to their feet and drew their swords, while the other half scrambled to put themselves between whatever was coming and the servants.

“Nice.” Xena remarked, conversationally. “Idiotic, but nice.”

One of the men turned. “Mistress?”

“Get ready!” Another hissed.  “Here they come!”

Xena folded her arms, and remained where she was, comfortably relaxed. Gabrielle looked uncertainly at the men, then decided the safest place she could think of was right where she was, tucked against Xena’s side. So she stayed put.

The bushes parted. One of the soldiers let out a yell, and the men in the clearing sprang forward to attack – only to be met with familiar voices calling them off.

“Cut it out, ye nitwits!” Brendan’s welcome tones sounded. “Get back!”

Gabrielle peeked around Xena’s shoulder and waved at him. “Boy, are we glad to see you!”

Her protective barricade raised both eyebrows and gave her a look. “We?” She intoned. “Speak for yourself. I’m sitting here wondering why it took a whole damn day to walk to the edge of the river and back.”  She turned to eye Brendan. “Well?”

The old soldier ambled forward, and knelt at Xena’s side. His clothing was stained with mud, and covered in thin, green stripes, as though he’d rubbed himself with leaves. The stain also was smeared across his face, though by design or accident it was hard to tell.

Behind him, the rest of the scouting party filtered into the clearing, equally covered in dirt and plainly tired.  They settled down next to the small fires, gratefully accepting the hot cups handed to them by nearby servants.

“Had to circle round, Mistress.” Brendan said. “Picked up some fellers on our tail near t’ road, and didn’t want t’lead em back here.”

“You mean you didn’t just kill them?” The queen asked. “What a waste of time.”

Brendan hesitated. “Was a squad’s worth, Mistress.” He answered, in an almost apologetic tone. “W’horses.”

“Hmph.”  A wave of Xena’s hand dismissed the matter. “What’d you find out?”

Gabrielle had refilled her cup, and now she extended it past Xena, to the tired soldier. “Here. You look like you could use something hot.”

“Thanks, lass.” Brendan took the cup gratefully.

“Gabrielle, you’re interrupting my briefing.” Xena leaned forward and bit Gabrielle’s hand, which didn’t quite escape in time. “Bad girl.”

Brendan managed a chuckle. “Wasn’t much we seen, mistress. T’s Bregos, I think, tho we didn’t see the likes of him around. Recognized some of his men. They got the main gate takin a beating, and looks like there’s been some fire in t’towers.”

Xena frowned. “Gate’s holding?”

“Aye, but not for much longer, I’m thinking.” The soldier told her. “Got rams, they do, and lots of meaty bodies there.”

The queen leaned back against her box, tipping her head to let it rest against the wood. “Damn.”

“Aye.” Brendan agreed quietly. “Figguring, maybe a couple hundred of em there.”

Gabrielle looked around at the small group. There were perhaps fifty soldiers, and two scoreservants left, sore, tired, without supplies, and with no transport. Surely they were no match for an army.  Her eyes lifted to Xena’s face, watching those sharp planes tense and shift, as Xena’s eyes narrowed and her jaw bunched in thought.

Slowly, Xena exhaled, her breath stirring the dark bangs over her eyes. “Well.” She finally murmured. “Ain’t going to be a pushover, anyway.”

Brendan laughed shortly.

“All right. We’ll move in closer tomorrow, and see what plan we can come up with.” The queen went on.  “I didn’t think that stupid bastard would dig up that many damn troops.”

“Paid em off in pledges.” Brendan snorted, shaking his head. “Fools.”  With a sigh, he pushed himself up. “Washing off this dirt, mistress. We picked up some scrap on the trail, we’ll share it.”

“Thanks.” Xena muttered, absently. “Give it around. I had mine already.” She glanced over at Gabrielle, who was also frowning in thought. “Gabrielle made me the best fish ever.”

Startled green eyes lifted. “Oh.. no, all I did was…”

Xena put her fingers over her companion’s lips. “Let’s work on that I’m the queen thing, hm?”  She turned to regard Brendan. “Go rest. You’ll need it.”

With a quiet nod, the man turned to leave.

“Brendan.”

The grizzled gray head swiveled.

“Good job.”  Xena said. “All of you.”

His face creased into a tired grin, and he sketched a salute at her, ducking his head before he turned and headed for the river.

Gabrielle waited for him to disappear, before she folded her hand over Xena’s, now lying slackly on the queen’s thigh. “Not so good news, huh?”

“No.” Xena admitted. “Lousy news. But at least they’re all back in one piece.” She turned her head towards Gabrielle. “I really wasn’t counting on this. Damn, I hate surprises.”

“You’ll figure out a way to beat him.” Gabrielle told her confidently.

A snort. “Yeah, after I figure out a way to get us down the river in one piece, with what little gear we got left. Maybe.” She picked up a rock and tossed it into the fire. “Stupid.”

“Those guys?”

“Me.”

Xena’s head tipped up again, and she held a hand up as Gabrielle was about to protest. Moving quickly, she placed two fingers between her teeth and let out a short whistle, galvanizing the camp into utter stillness again.

Gabrielle wondered what the difference was, between the bark and the whistle. The result seemed the same to her.

Off to the left, in the pitch darkness, a soft crackling was heard, as something moved nearby.  Two of the soldiers next to Xena jumped up, drawing their swords instinctively.

Xena handed her cup to Gabrielle and stood up as well, towering over the two men as she rested her hand against the box for balance. Her eyes widened as the crashing got louder, and she drew her own sword as she let out a yell of warning.

It was chaos. Men dove for their weapons and servants dove for cover as the bushes exploded with motion, the shadows erupting into a swirl of bodies and the smell of….

“Heeeyahhh!!” Xena pushed past the men and lifted her arms commandingly. “Whoa!!!”

Horses.  The lead animal reared up over the queen’s head, his hooves passing dangerously close to her head before he thumped down to the ground and let out a brassy snort.  Then he nuzzled Xena in the chest, and whuffled.

Xena scratched his nose. “Hello, boy.” She whispered, before she turned and faced the rest of the camp. Lifting her hands, she spread her arms to indicate the horses, and smirked.

A low, amazed murmur sprang up, and several whistles followed. “Good on yer, Mistress! Hade’s codpiece!”

Gabrielle scrambled to her feet and bolted forward, as she spotted a shaggy head poking out from behind the black stallion. “Patches!” She threw her arms around his neck in delight, her eyes meeting Xena’s. “I told you.” She mouthed silently.

Xena grinned, and gave her a thumbs up.

It was like the gods had clapped their hands, and given them a blessing, changing dire misfortune to tentative hope in the single span of a minute.  Gabrielle had always been wary of the gods, but now she was beginning to suspect that maybe, just maybe…

They liked her.

Xena laughed, as the men came forward to take hold of the animals. “Take care of them. Check their feet – the gods only know where the Hades they’ve been.”  She nodded approvingly as Brendan came to take Tiger from her, leading the big stallion off.  Then she turned and winked at Gabrielle, shaking her head in amazement. “Gotta love it”

For sure, she decided, the gods liked Xena.  Gabrielle gave Patches a hug. Maybe it was the attitude.

Xena rested her hands on the pony’s back and leaned over, kissing Gabrielle on the lips.  She paused and looked into her eyes. “We’re gonna make it home.” She whispered. “I’m not letting that stinking bastard stand in our way.”

Gabrielle leaned forward for another kiss. “Xena, wherever you are, is home for me.” She whispered back. “So I am home.”

Patches snorted.

The moon broke it’s cover, and spread over them, casting a silver light that chased back the shadows and outlined figures in gilded tones, lightening their hearts.

Save two, which already held a burning that was coming to burn clear any darkness.

Xena wanted, really wanted, to start off right away. Arriving near the stronghold in total darkness would improve her chances of surprise, she felt, and it would certainly satisfy her craving to do something.

Anything.

She was itching to redeem herself, in her own eyes.  But it was dark, and it was cold, and taking her men, and the servants through rough territory in those conditions wasn’t a good idea.  There was also her own condition to think of. Xena had discovered that her injury had left her without much of a sense of balance at the moment, and falling off her horse in front of the enemy wasn’t something she’d deal with in any sort of dignified manner.

So she’d reseated herself by the fire and resigned herself to waiting for the morning, knowing at least her rag-tag followers would do better for the rest.

“Hey, Xena?” Gabrielle appeared from the shadows and dropped down next to her, settling cross-legged at her side. “How did they find us?”

Xena looked at her in some mild confusion. “Brendan? He’s a tracker. Damn better be able to find his way back in the forest.”

“No..no.. the horses.”  Gabrielle replied. “I mean, we came over the mountain and down the river.. how did they follow us?”

Hm. Xena tipped back her waterskin and took a long swallow, to give herself time to think of an answer.  Wine would have tasted better, but they didn’t have any, and she wasn’t sure getting drunk with her head half cracked was a good idea anyway.  “How did they find us.” She repeated the question, wiping her lips with the back of her hand. “Well, y’know, muskrat…if I was a betting woman, I’d bet my underwear that I didn’t have a clue how they did it.”

Gabrielle blinked, as she absorbed the answer. “Really?”

“Really.” The queen replied. “Got any ideas?”

The blond woman’s eyebrows knit together. “Me?”

“You.” Xena reached over and tweaked her nose. “You’re the storyteller. You tell me how they did it.”

Gabrielle sat back, a thoughtful look on her face.

Xena took another sip of her water, content to sit and wait, the nagging ache in her head starting to prick her with it’s annoyance.  She closed her eyes and tried to think of how she’d approach the stronghold tomorrow.  The horses changed things immensely – now she had mobility, and speed, and the ability to carry their gear. But on the minus side, it was harder to move with secrecy if you were sitting on top of large, often intractable beasts.

Still, she was happier than Hades’ handbasket that she had them back. If only for her own sake, since Tiger would allow her to keep up with the army despite her injury.

“I think…”

Xena opened one eye, to see Gabrielle folding her hands together and leaning her chin against them, a look of intense concentration on her face. “You do?” She asked. “And here I thought you were just a beautiful saddle ornament of mine.”  She teased.

“I think they smelled us.”

The queen tilted her body to one side and reviewed the camp. Delicately, she sniffed, then made a face. “Four score wet, dirty, leather and fur covered bodies all using the same hole in the ground to poop in?” She rocked a hand back and forth. “Eeeehhh… maybe.”  She conceded. “But how in Hades did they know it was *us*?”

Gabrielle got up onto her knees and leaned forward, sniffing at the queen with a studious expression that almost made Xena start snickering  She got closer and closer, until her nose was right up against the queens’ chest.

She took a long, deep breath.

Xena couldn’t hold it in any longer. She started laughing, grabbing hold of Gabrielle and shaking her like a puppy. “What are you doing?”

“Well.” Gabrielle grinned. “If *I* could tell it was you, I bet those horses could.”

“You can not.”

“I can.”

Xena studied her, a grin still on her face. “You saying I stink?”

“No.” Gabrielle settled next to her, leaning against the box. “I like the way you smell.” She said, laying her hand on Xena’s shoulder and tangling her fingers in the queen’s hair. “I like everything about you.”

A witty remarked died unspoken on Xena’s lips. Maybe it was the softness in Gabrielle’s tone, or the gentle touch of her knuckles, now brushing Xena’s cheek.  As she watched, her companion leaned against her and she noticed just how tired and drawn Gabrielle’s face was. “Hey.”

The green eyes flickered, and focused on her. “Hm? Do you need something? How about some more tea?”

“I don’t need no stinking tea.” The queen told her. “I need you to get some rest.”

“I’m okay.” Gabrielle protested. “Really.”

“Horseshit.” Xena stretched her legs out, then pointed at her thigh. “Put your head down or I’ll nail it down.”

“But..” Gabrielle paused, then she eased down onto her side and curled up next to Xena, putting her head down on the proffered spot and curling her hand around the queen’s knee. The long day’s tension had her tied in knots, though how the queen had guessed that, she didn’t know.  Though the ground was hard, she figured there wasn’t any place anywhere more comfortable than this.

Xena put a hand on her companion’s back, and felt the strain. Without a word, she shifted her other hand over and started a probing massage, her fingers working over Gabrielle’s tense body.  After a few minutes, she felt the knots begin to relax, and she heard Gabrielle exhale in relief.

Again, she felt that curious mix of joy and consternation, and that nameless ache deep in her guts as she cared for this other person now in her life. As her fingertips kneaded the taut muscles, she found herself relaxing and taking more pleasure than she’d ever imagined out of the simple act.

“I think I’m supposed to be taking care of you.” Gabrielle commented, in a wry tone.

“Shut up.” Xena replied. “Just lie there and let me have my fun.”

Gabrielle wriggled into a more comfortable spot and gave in, gratefully accepting the touch. She picked up the rhythm of Xena’s hands, and her thumb echoed it, tracing lightly over the knitted fabric covering the queen’s leg. “Thanks.”

Xena merely chuckled.

“Y’know… I think in my family I was always the one doing stuff for everyone else.” Gabrielle said, unexpectedly. “Whether I wanted to or not.”

“Mm.”

“It’s a really nice feeling when you know someone wants to do something for you.”

“Did I say I was doing this for you?” The queen objected. “I told you I was having fun. This is not about you, it’s about me.”

Gabrielle gazed off into the firepit, watching the shadows dance across it. “It’s especially nice when you kmow that person really cares about you.”

Xena felt an idiotic lump form in her throat, making it difficult to reply.

“That’s such a special feeling.” The blond woman’s voice dropped to a whisper.

Yes, it was. The queen agreed silently. “The horses…” She had to stop, and clear her throat of an unusual huskiness. “Probably followed Brendan back here. Two of the men he had with him are my military grooms.”

“Oh.”

“But they probably did smell them.” Xena added. “So you were right.” She worked her hands down Gabrielle’s spine. “Just like you were right about them coming back at all.”

“It was just a guess.”

“It was a good guess.” The queen leaned closer. “I’m glad you were right.” She let her hands go still a moment. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Gabrielle felt the discomforts of her body slip away, replaced by a contented warmth. She had no idea how Xena was going to get them through the next few days, but whichever way she did it, Gabrielle intended on being right there with her.

Whatever it took. Whatever the risk.

She closed her eyes, and slipped easily into sleep.

Xena pulled the edge of her cloak over, and settled it around her companion’s body, tucking it neatly in around her. Then she lifted her eyes up and let them fasten on the fire, her expression going quiet and steely as she decided just how the blood spilling would begin.

**

The sleep had done her a world of good. Gabrielle found herself waking before the dawn, in the still, small hour when the whole world around her seemed to be shut down and silent.

Her body was stiff, and she realized she hadn’t moved at all while she’d slept – in fact, her fingers were still curled around the queen’s leg under the thick cloak that covered both of them. It was warm under the cloak, though; she really didn’t feel like moving despite the discomfort.

Xena’s arm was draped over her, a gentle weight across her shoulder and side, and she realized their hands had met and joined in sleep, fingers tangled together in a firm hold. It felt nice. Slowly, so as not to wake the queen, Gabrielle shifted and rolled over onto her back, biting back a groan as her body protested.

But she felt better as soon as she resettled herself, this time so she could see Xena’s profile in the faint light from the nearby fire.

The queen had fallen asleep with her head resting against a folded cloth, leaning on the box. Her dark hair blew fitfully in the breeze, half obscuring her face, but even so, Gabrielle found herself entranced by the vision of shadowed beauty she was gazing up at.

There were bruises across one whole side of her head, darkening the skin over her cheekbones, and a thin, dark line marked the scrape that crossed her jaw from it’s point almost to her ear.  Still, it didn’t mar the even planes or detract even one bit from the powerful character.

One thing Gabrielle did notice, that relaxed in sleep, her customary watchful guard dropped, Xena looked far younger than she did awake. It made her wonder just how old her current pillow was, given how much she’d already done with her life.

Not to mention, what she’d done to change Gabrielle’s, in such a very short time.

Gabrielle thought about that for a while, lying there on her back with the scents of the camp drifting over her. Of all the places she’d ever imagined herself, this was without question the last place she’d ever thought she’d be, out in the wilderness with a squad of soldiers preparing to relieve a siege.

From what she’d heard Brendan say, there were a lot more soldiers attacking the stronghold than they had here. Could they do it? She studied the sleeping woman so close to her with quiet, curious eyes. Everyone was counting on Xena to make it work right, she knew. She’d heard the men talking.

They had no idea how they were going to do it, but they all trusted that Xena did, and that she’d find a way to win through. Gabrielle suspected that Xena knew that too, and she wondered what it felt like to know you were responsible for everyone’s expectations.

Not just their lives. Life to Xena really didn’t mean a whole lot, as she had come to realize. It was Xena’s ego and reputation at stake here, when faced with this really sticky problem she had to solve.

In which case, Gabrielle reasoned, they really had very little to worry about. She closed her eyes again. Xena would find a way, hopefully soon.  Aside from being cold and uncomfortable in the forest, not nearly as romantic as stories would have lead her to believe – she found herself wanting to have it over with for quite a different, somewhat bemusing reason.

Her body wanted Xena’s touch. Though her experience in bed had been admittedly limited, she thought about it and how good it had made her feel with unexpected frequency.

Ah well. With a soundless, wry chuckle, Gabrielle put the thoughts out of her mind. A moment later, she felt a strong sense of someone watching her, and opened her eyes again to see who it was.

“Comfy?” Xena drawled, very softly.

Gabrielle rested her cheek against the queen’s belly, and grinned. “Yeah.”

Xena gazed at her for a few moments, then grinned back. “Too bad.” She said. “I’m gonna get up and go take a bath. Wanna come?”

Gabrielle glanced at the darkness around them, her brows creasing. “Xena, it’s freezing out.”

“Mmhm.”

“You’re going to go take a bath.. in the river?”

“Mmhm.”

“While it’s freezing?”

“Yep.”

“Are you going to take… your clothes off?”

Xena chuckled. “Of course.”  She brushed her knuckles over Gabrielle’s cheekbone. “C’mon. It’ll be fun.”

“Fun?” Gabrielle seemed skeptical.

“You, me, naked…” The dark brows hiked suggestively. “Bet I can keep you from freezing to death.”

Gabrielle’s face twitched. “Okay.” She agreed, with a touch of hesitation. “I guess anything with naked stuff can’t not be fun, huh?”

Xena had to work over that for a minute before she decided it was a positive remark. “Let’s go.” She said. “Besides, I gotta stand up and stretch. My back’s killing me.”  She waited for Gabrielle to sit up, then untangled her cloak from both of them and pulled  herself upright, leaning on the box for balance.

“I could rub your back.” Gabrielle offered, as they started off, easing around the trees and through the misty gloom.

“You can rub more than that.” Xena assured her, with a soft chuckle.

“Oo.”

**

Getting to the river, though, Gabrielle found doubts developing.  Xena led her to a spot where the bank sloped down to the water, and a bend in the stream had formed a calm little pocket. As she stood on the turf, she could see a gentle mist rising from it’s surface. The air was more than chilly, and she rubbed her arms as she felt the wind lift her hair and blow across the back of her neck. “Brr.”

Xena sauntered to the edge and knelt, sticking her hand into the water, then pulling it out and shaking the droplets off. “Ah.. just how I like it.” She peeked back over her shoulder. “Spine chilling.”

“Eh heh.”

The queen stood up and removed her cloak, slinging it casually over a nearby branch. Then she leaned against the tree and began unlacing her boots. “C’mon.”

With a sigh, Gabrielle walked towards her, kneeling at her side and untying the cords that held her boots to her calves.. “You know, Xena, now that we’re here.. um.. it’s really cold.”

“C’mon.” Xena tugged on the edge of her cloak. “Faster you get em off, faster we get in the water.”

“That’s sorta what I was afraid of.”

“Gabrielle.” Xena removed a boot and let it drop, then pinned her companion with an intense stare. “You ever done this before?”

“Um.. no. No, of course not.”

“That’s why you should do it.” Xena dropped her second boot, and straightened. She held a hand out to Gabrielle. “C’mon. Live.”

“Live.” Gabrielle repeated the word, just before she took the proffered fingers. “I thought I was.” The ground felt cold and hard against her feet, and she winced at the dew’s chill on her toes. “Wasn’t I?”

“Make every second count.” The queen told her, suddenly serious. “Cause you never know when the seconds are going to run out on you.”

They stared at each other in silence, as the mist rose up and twined around their legs.

Okay, well, that did it. Gabrielle stepped closer and lifted her hands to the queen’s belt, unfastening it in silence as Xena undid the cloak catch at her throat and removed the protection of it from around her shoulders.

The cold air blew against her, but Xena’s fingers were sliding over her, loosening the tunic held tight to her body by her leather belt and ducking her head to gently kiss her on the lips.

Her heart started to pound. She slid her hands under Xena’s shirt and found the lacings that held the leggings snugly around her waist, not even really realizing it when her own shirt was slipped over her head leaving her body exposed to the chill.

Xena’s fingers circled her breast, and she felt her body respond with a ferocity that sent hot blood racing in all directions, warming her and making her almost glad of the cool night air. “Mm.”  She felt the leggings come loose and her hands touched skin, as Xena’s lips became slightly more insistent and their bodies moved together.

She unlaced the soft, cloth ties on Xena’s shirt and felt it slip down between them, the queen taking a half step back to let it fall to the ground.  Then their bodies pressed together again, and Gabrielle found her breathing growing shorter.

The next thing she knew, her feet were wet. She wiggled her toes, surprised when she found the water warmer than the air had been.  But there was little time to wonder, as Xena’s thigh slipped between hers, and her body pressed forward, wanting the touch badly.

They moved into deeper water, the gentle current swirling around them and setting Gabrielle’s already sensitized skin on fire. The floor of the river here was pebbles, but they were small and round, and she kept her footing easily as she and the queen turned in a slow circle, immersed in each other as they were becoming immersed in the water.

Xena’s hand slid down over her hip and touched her belly, as Gabrielle planted tiny kisses down the queen’s chest, stopping and nibbling around her breasts.

It  was amazing. Her entire body was tingling. Gabrielle felt the water climb up her chest, it’s surprising warmth brushing her skin as Xena’s touch became more intimate.  She moved closer, her body’s need almost making her twitch violently as the queen began stroking her.

“Still cold?” Xena whispered into her ear, the teasing very evident.

“Ungh.” Gabrielle let out a little groan, getting one back as she intensified her nibbling.  She slid her hand down between them, feeling Xena’s belly muscles contract and her body tense and shift as her touch moved lower.

It was insane. The mist from the river swirled around them, and Gabrielle felt like ever motion of the water heightened the fire now burning inside her guts. She uttered a small growl as her hands explored Xena’s body, losing track as the queen’s own touch became more intense  and she felt herself press closer, wanting even more.

Xena’s arm snaked around her and she found her lips now captured, as their attentions increased again in intensity. She was almost gasping for breath, her chest heaving as she felt Xena’s breathing matching it, their bellies pressing together as passion took over completely.

The pressure built so fast, she almost didn’t have time to gasp as her loins contracted, and the intensity built to a level that force a hoarse yell from her throat, quickly smothered by Xena’s lips as she grabbed the queen in a fierce grip as she rode out the powerful contractions, feeling Xena’s grip on her just as tight as her touch brought the queen to the verge and over at almost the same moment.

They held each other, and Gabrielle felt her legs shaking so badly, she knew if she had been on land she’d have been flat on her back on the ground, unable to stand. Now the water’s brush on her brought back some energy, and she traced a gently erotic pattern over Xena’s skin as the queen nuzzled her throat and gave her a tiny nip. “Mmm.”  She ducked her head and sucked in a mouthful of the water, then she swallowed some, and let the rest trickle from her lips over Xena’s chest, licking up the droplets as they fell.

“Mmm.” Xena responded, pulling them both back just a little, as she leaned back against a half submerged log. “So. Was I right?”

Gabriele’s fingers stroked over the soft skin on Xena’s thigh. “About what?” She glanced up, with puzzled innocence.

Xena chuckled, and kissed her.

“Oh, the water.” Gabrielle giggled, burying her face into Xena’s breasts.  “It’s warm!”

The queen chortled softly. “There’s a thermal spring over there. It’s not a bath, but.. yeah.”

“You knew it was!”

“Sure.” The queen agreed cheerfully. “Just wanted to see if you had the stomach for it.”

Gabrielle exhaled, and allowed herself to melt into the snug embrace. “Glad I did.”

Xena savored the moment, living it to it’s fullest as she’d told Gabrielle to do.  Because you really never did know, she knew more than most, when Hades would tap you on the shoulder and give you the token to cross the Styx.

Live. She hugged Gabrielle to her. Savor it.

**

They gathered on the small ridge just overlooking the plain that led up to the stronghold. In a stand of trees with dense foliage not yet touched by the frost, a thin line of horses assembled, riders holding reins in mostly experienced hands as the scene before them became clear.

Xena leaned her weight on her elbows, which rested on her saddlebow.  She surveyed the mayhem going on , and sorted out her options, knowing them to be scant, at the very best.

Bregos, if he was, in fact, doing the planning and hadn’t died from the wounds she’d given him – had planned well. There were at least two hundred soldiers dug in around the stronghold, behind thick bastions of wood and straw, safe from the archers on the walls.

In evidence as well were the tools of siege, two battering rams sat squatly near one side of the gates, and a storming tower was almost complete nearer to the woods.  From the look of the gates, the rams had been recently in use, and Xena allowed herself a moment of pride on seeing the stout wood battered but not broken.

She’d designed those gates, replacing the ones she’d blown out when she’d taken the city. Now, it seems, they’d held against the initial efforts of Bregos army though she doubted they would last that much longer, especially if the bastards were heading towards burning them out, as the siege towers indicated.

Well.  Xena flexed her hands, and rubbed her thumb over Tiger’s reins.  A huge pit, behind a rise out of sight from the walls held a bonfire, and she could see stacks of tar covered torches being lit in preparation. The smoke rose up from them, spiraling in an oily warning up towards the overcast sky.

There were four main garrisons of men, all well armed with crossbows behind every high point. Xena reviewed the weapons and determined riding into their faces, emotionally satisfying though that might be, was suicide.

Xena wasn’t planning on suicide today.

She looked to her left, where a shaggy pony head bobbed, and exchanged a quick smile with Gabrielle. The kid was braiding a bit of the animal’s mane and an image of those clever fingers put to more personal use broadened the grin on the queen’s face.

What a crazy morning.  Xena could still feel echoes of that pleasure. They’d carried on until almost dawn, and now she could honestly say she was both clean and as relaxed as the situation would allow her to be as a result.

Life was good, despite the fact that her head injury made riding a horse a stomach churning experience for her, and she was now faced with having to beat an army four times the size of her small force with nothing but guts and luck.

“Mistress?”

“Hm?” Xena turned to find Brendan at her elbow. “Looks like they’re about to have a little roasting party.”

“Aye.” The old soldier agreed. “Men got as many arrows made on the trip as t’could. Got a decent few bows, but not like that lot.” He pointed at the crossbows, which were far more powerful. “Most got an edge of some kind, or a club… bout it, thought. No spears.”

No. Xena exhaled. And the space between the army, and where they were was too damn wide. She’d had the forests cleared back to keep anyone from having cover near the stronghold – now that decision was biting her in the ass as she realized any attempt to sneak up on the attackers would be damn near impossible.

A little wave of vertigo made her tense her hold on the saddle, and almost close her eyes. That had been getting worse during their ride, and she was starting to realize how much it was going to hamper her in a fight.

Not good. “All right.” Xena let the dizziness pass, then sat up and squared her shoulders. “We wait for them to attack.”

“Mistress?”

“Let em get fully engaged. Let em get to where they can taste winning.” The queen said. “Then we’ll hit em.”

“From t’back here?” Brendan queried. “Bushwhack em?”

“Yep.” Xena agreed. “We’ll start mowing em down from behind, and with any luck, they’ll see us from the walls and come out fighting.”  She stretched her legs out, slipping her boots from her stirrups and letting them dangle down Tiger’s sides.

Brendan studied the troops, then he nodded, and turned his horses head around, moving back into the lines to start giving orders.

Gabrielle waited until he was out of earshot, then she steered Patches towards Tiger and managed to achieve her purpose without colliding with the larger animal. Pleased with her success, she imitated Xena, pulling her boots out of the stirrups and letting her feet dangle, stretching out painfully cramped muscles in legs very unused to riding. “There sure are a lot of those guys.”

“I know.” The queen replied. “But they’re between me, and a warm dry bed, so they’ve gotta go.” She affected a relaxed pose, gathering  her confidence up and settling it over her shoulders like a second cloak.

She had no doubt she’d be needing ever inch of it.

Gabrielle looked at all the soldiers, and felt a sickening chill. She turned her head and looked up. “Hey, Xena?”

“Yeah?” The queen met her eyes steadily.

“You think we’ll be okay?”

Xena was silent for several heartbeats, wanting very much to lie and finding she simply didn’t have it in her to do it.  “I don’t know.” She finally said, turning her head and looking off over the battlefield. “I hope so.” She added, after taking a breath. “I really want everything to be okay.”

It occurred to her at that moment, just how true that was. Xena swallowed, wondering just when it was that she’d stopped caring about living. Was it after she’d gained her last goal? Her own kingdom?

So much had stopped mattering after that. After she’d gotten what she wanted, and lost Lyceus in gaining it. She could look back now, and see that – with the knowledge that things had changed, and living was something she very much wanted to continue doing.

“Me, too.” Gabrielle whispered, hearing a seriousness in Xena’s voice she’d never experienced before. “The men are behind you all the way.”

“I know.” Xena looked down at her hands, resting on the saddle. “I’m not worried about them.” Her eyes shifted back to Gabrielle’s face. “I’ll be leading that charge.”  Something nameless inside her prompted the admission, one she’d never imagined herself making to anyone much less this scrappy little bedmate of hers.

Why?

Instinctively, Gabrielle put a hand out and touched the queen’s leg. “Are you feeling okay?”

Why, indeed? A soft, wry laugh. “Gabrielle, I can barely stay upright in this damn saddle and my eyesight keeps blurring. Sure. I’m fine. You?”

Gabrielle’s eyes widened in alarm. “Then you should stay here.” She said. “You can tell them what to do.”

“I can’t.” Xena lifted a hand and rubbed her eyes.

“But Xena…”

“But nothing.” The queen gathered herself up and slid off the back of her horse, holding onto the saddle and letting her body stretch out. Her stomach rebelled, and she let her head rest against Tiger’s shoulder until the queasiness subsided, hoping the small thuds and grunts she heard would result in at least a hug of comfort.

Then she felt ashamed of herself for wanting that.

Then Gabrielle’s arms slipped around her and the shame evaporated, leaving her mostly just confused. “I have to go out there.” She said. “I’m their focus. The one thing they think they have that’ll tip the balance in our favor.”

Gabrielle rubbed her back. “But… if you’re sick, if you can’t…  Xena, they know how badly you were hurt. They wouldn’t want you to risk getting hurt worse, I’m sure of it.”

The queen let her hand drop to her thigh, exhaling in utter frustration. “I’m so damn pissed off at myself I could scream.” She uttered. “Damn it, damn it, damn it.” Her hand smacked her leg again. “Damn me.”

Gabrielle had no idea what to do or say, so she just gave Xena another hug.

For a few minutes they both just stood there, as the rest of the troops deployed around them, settling down to wait for the impending attack to begin.  Xena rested her cheek against the top of Gabrielle’s head and watched them over Tiger’s back, seeing faces quiet with confidence and set with determination.

She had told them they would win, and so, they believed it. They might doubt themselves, but foolish or no, they would not doubt her.  Xena sighed. And of course, this was the one time they damn well should doubt.

She was tired, she was sick, and both the pain and the dizziness were getting worse. She knew the upcoming battle would be hard, and painful and she knew she wasn’t truly up to it. In that moment, she hated Bregos more than just about anything else in her life, and she wished vainly that she’d ignored her kinder instincts and gutted him like a pig when she’d had the chance.

“How can I help?” Gabrielle asked, in a small voice. “Let me do something.”

Xena took in a breath of cold air, full of the scent of the forest and the woman pressing against her. She could hear the fear in Gabrielle’s tone, and knowing she’d put it there steadied her in an odd way. “It’s okay.” She scratched the back of her lover’s neck gently. “I’m gonna be fine, if you do what I’m gonna tell you and stay here, behind this damn tree, out of the way.”

“But…”

“No buts, Gabrielle.” Xena took her chin and forced her head up, making eye contact. “I need to know you’re safe. Understand me?”

“Mistress.” Brendan’s voice barely carried. “They’re moving.”

“Understand me?” The queen repeated, her eyes never leaving Gabrielle’s. “Stay here.”

Gabrielle reached up and touched her face, laying her hand flat against her cheek.

Xena’s lips twitched. “Please?”

“Only…” Gabrielle paused, and swallowed. “Only if you promise you’ll come back here and get me.”

The look in Xena’s eyes was almost gentle. “Boy, do we gotta work on that “I’m the queen’ thing.” She inclined her head and gave Gabrielle a light kiss.  Then she paused as she started to pull back, with her lips right next to Gabrielle’s ear. “I promise.” She whispered “But don’t you tell anyone, or I’ll strip ya naked and make you sing in public.”

“Okay.” Gabrielle sounded relieved, and she stepped back as Xena straightened and turned towards Tiger. She watched the queen put her hands on the saddle, then saw her gather herself before she pulled herself up and slung her leg over the stallion’s back, gathering his reins in one hand as she reached back over her shoulder to check her sword. “Be careful.”

Xena somehow heard her over the sound of rising battle in front of them. She turned, squaring her shoulders and settling her boots more firmly into the stirrups. “Keep your head down.” She said. “I’ll be as careful as you are.” With a single pointed finger, the queen turned her horse and nudged him towards the front of their lines, peering intently over the animals head.

With a sigh, Gabrielle returned to Patches side. She had her walking stick, returned to her by Xena, strapped to his side, and now she put her hand on the end of it and felt the solid wood against her skin. “I guess we can make sure everyone here’s okay, right Patches?”

The pony lifted his head, a stalk of forest grass hanging from his lips and peered at her.

“We can guard everyone, until Xena says it’s okay to come out.” Gabrielle put her arms around the pony’s neck and kept her eyes on Xena’s tall form. “But you know what, Patches? I’d rather be out there with her. I don’t care how dangerous it is.”

Patches snorted, and went back to cropping the grass.

Curious, Gabrielle edged a little closer to the trees, watching what was going on. The men attacking the stronghold had finished the tall wooden things, and now they were pushing them towards the gates, hiding behind them as they walked.

A horn blew.

One of the attackers cupped his hands and yelled, the wind ripping the words away before she could catch them.

A yell came back from the walls. Squinting, Gabrielle thought she recognized the Duke up there, and as if to prove their defiance, a volley of arrows came flying over, nailing the wooden things with solid clunks.

Now all the attackers grabbed torches, and lines of them started forward behind the wooden things. More attackers stayed behind their hiding places, and started shooting arrows at the walls, taking little bits of stone out of them and making the people on top duck.

One of the arrows hit, one of the men was too slow, and she watched in horror as he pitched over the top of the wall and fell to the ground, to cheers from the attackers.

Gabrielle winced, turning to watch Xena instead. The queen sat tall on her horse, her sword drawn in her hand, restlessly moving it around as she waited.

All the attackers started to move forward, just like Xena thought they would. Gabrielle sensed movement behind her, and she turned her head to see the rest of the servants moving up to circle her. One of the older men gave Patches a pat on the back and exhaled, but remained silent.

A horn blew again, and the attack began.

Then a yell went up, triumphant,  and Gabrielle’s eyes widened as she realized the stronghold gates were swinging open.

Her yell, and Xena’s could have come from the same throat.

Then it became nothing but death and chaos.

**

Concluded in Part 21

Shadows of the Soul

Part 21

Hack, hack hack. Xena methodically kept her arm moving, getting into a rhythm of mayhem as she cut and sliced her way towards the gates. She was a target, and she knew it. Her body rose up higher on her tall horse than anyone else around, and she found herself ducking arrows and dodging spear thrusts more often than almost could handle.

But there was no option, and she knew that, too. “Die, ya stinking bastards!” She released her reins and grabbed her sword two handed, smashing her hilts down onto the head of a man clutching her leg, splitting his skull and sending blood and brains down the leg of her horse.

He didn’t like it.  Given the man’s stink, Xena didn’t blame him. “Eeyah!” She kneed the big stallion and he hopped to one side, kicking out with his hind legs and thrusting aside the dead man’s body.

Brego’s men were swarming over hers, their much greater number making the battle seem more like a massacre, except that her men weren’t dying easily.

Xena spotted four enemy soldiers attacking Brendan. She whirled away from two men attacking her, and spurred Tiger into a gallop, knocking down men in her way and cutting the heads off those stupid enough to try to jump her.

She reached the four just in time to kick one, gut another, and stab a third with her hastily drawn dagger.

Brendan killed the fourth. Xena tapped him on the head with her sword flat, and whirled Tiger on his haunches, sending him back towards the front lines at a gallop.

“Bless ye, Mistress!” Brendan yelled after her. “Fo’ard, lads! Together now!”

They all came after her now.  Someone had given them the idea that she was the key to the battle somehow. Xena found herself quickly surrounded by determined men, as a quick glance towards the gates showed a scuffle and chaos there as a crowd of servants were preventing the stronghold’s defenders from coming out.

They’d driven two wagons into the opening, and were throwing things at the soldiers, boxes and supplies, in a whirlwind of yelling, frantic bodies.

A cold anger gripped her. “Those little bastards.” She uttered, understanding the betrayal. But there wasn’t time to think about it as a dozen men closed around her and she was in danger of being pulled off her horse.

**

Gabrielle gripped Patches mane and stared, as she watched the fight, her eyes never leaving the tall figure astride the big black horse.  Xena’s hair was wild and loose, her sword moving like lightning flashes as she fought fiercely with the men besieging the stronghold.

She gasped, seeing Brendan in trouble, then was able to breathe again as she saw Xena galloping to his rescue.  But a group of the enemy had gathered, and she saw them heading for the queen as she turned.

It was hard to stay put. She tangled her fingers into the reins, and told herself all she’d get if she went into the fight was killed, and Xena being horribly angry with her. She didn’t want that.

She didn’t want Xena to get hurt, either. It was like being pulled in two different directions by two very strong forces.

Then one of the servants next to her gasped and pointed, and Gabrielle looked, standing up a little in her stirrups to see what the woman was looking at. In the opening, the soldiers inside were trying to get out, and they were being stopped by…

By the stronghold’s servants. “Oh no!” Gabrielle groaned. “We’ve got to stop them!”

“Stop them.. the soldiers?” The woman turned to her. “We’ll be killed!”

“No!” Gabrielle pointed. “The others! We’ve got to stop them… let the other soldiers out! If these guys win, we’ll die anyway!”

A moment’s indecision. Then… ‘She’s right.” One of them men said. “Let’s go! No matter what, I’m with the queen.”

“Aye.” The woman agreed quietly. “Though I’d never have thought to say it.”

Gabrielle released the reins, and urged Patches ahead, leading the servants out from the cover they’d been hiding in. She picked a  path around the battle and slapped the pony on his rear, hoping everyone would follow her.

**

Kick, damn you. Xena felt herself tiring, as she tried again to give Tiger the right signal. This time he got it, and she clamped her knees down as he lashed out backwards, knocking back several of the men attacking her.

Stallions had their good points. They were a pain in the ass to train, and the gods help you if there was a mare around in heat, but when your neck was on the line and you needed an animal to fight for you, they were there.

Most of the time, anyway. When their rider was in their right mind and not about to fall off their backs.  “Eeyhah!” Xena found herself some fighting room, but motion in her peripheral vision made her head snap around as she spotted the servants racing around the edge of the battlefield heading for the gates.

“Son of a b..” Xena started to pull Tiger around, then she paused, her eyes following the line of where the servants were heading.

Towards the other servants. The ones who were blocking her men. Xena swung a backhanded blow with her sword, cutting the arm off a man about to plunge a spear into her side.  Would they join them, or..? Xena was unable to keep her eyes from finding Gabrielle’s mounted form in the melee, the blond woman’s face set and determined as she guided her pony into danger.

“Xena, worry about keeping yourself alive.” The queen muttered, as she was thrown sideways by two soldiers leaping halfway up her horse, their hands grabbing at her sword arm and a sliver of bloodied steel heading it’s way towards her heart.

“T’the left, lads!” Brendan’s voice came to her from behind. “Get em! Get t’bastards!”

Yeah, yeah. Xena desperately batted away the knife, unable to maneuver well because the two men were pinning her right leg to her horse.

Instinct warned her just in time, and she leaned back as a man flew at her from the back of a wagon and landed across Tiger’s shoulders, his mace slamming down and fortuitously smashing the head of the soldier pinning her leg.

“Thanks!” Xena ripped the mace from his hands and tossed him over the other side of her horse. She lifted the mace and smashed it into the second man’s face, sending bits of gore all over everything.  Tiger shifted and kicked out, surprising her as he crab hopped sideways, clearing space for both of them.

She looped the mace onto her saddle horn and shifted her sword, looking around quickly.

Her men were doing their best. Brego’s men outnumbered them five to one, at least, but they were focusing on trying to kill her, and that left them open to attacks by her forces, working in teams just like she’d taught them.

But her men were dying. Xena felt an unreasoning rush of rage and pain, and she gathered herself up, spotting a bunch of Bregos lousy bastards and spurring Tiger towards them. She let out a wild yell and attacked them viciously, letting her hatred and anger fuel her sword arm.

Two, then four fell to her attack. More ran to help them, and finally she had to jump off Tiger’s back so they wouldn’t pull him to the ground. She met them at their own level now, and they quickly found out they’d have been better off leaving her up there.

On the ground, she was a nightmare. Xena ducked and whirled, showing her true mastery of her weapon as she met their blades as they surrounded her and deflected them all, twisting her boots to gain some leverage as she locked her arms and drove all the way around, cutting through men’s bodies and removing at least one hand before she pulled her sword into her body and changed her attack, closing with the nearest man and ramming the tip of her blade up through his armor into his ribcage.

“Ahhh!” His voice ended on a gurgle as she twisted her hands and yanked up, then kicked the man away from her.

“C’mon, you gutless nothings! Die!” Xena yelled. “I’ll kill you all!”

She smashed her hilts, her fists wrapped around them, across another man’s face and felt the bone crunch under the blow.

Two of them gathered the guts to jump her, and she felt hits connect, rocking her body before she could twisted around and slam her elbow into one of them.

Her knees buckled unexpectedly as the second smacked her across the back of her head. Xena started to go down, the world graying out around her, but then forced herself back upright by sheer will. She found her dagger in her hand and she drove it around as the second man sensed his advantage and grabbed her, and the blade slid home with the grating sensation of steel hitting bone.

A yell behind her made her whirl, and she felt her heart skip as she saw the soldiers from the stronghold pouring out of a break in the blockade, half of one of the wagons dragged out of the way as the servants she brought with her tussled with the ones holding the door.

Yeah. Xena found herself smiling as she tasted victory, the fresh troops riding down Bregos men, who couldn’t regroup in time to stop them. The two remaining men facing her turned and ran, and Xena twirled her sword in her hand, letting out a hiss of satisfaction.

Yeah.

**

“Stop!” Gabrielle was the first to reach the gates. “Stop! Get back! Let them out!”

One of the servants turned and spat at her. “Get out of her, whore!” He threw a bag at her. “Beat it! Go back to your bitch!”

Gabrielle caught the bag with a grunt and threw it back. “You’re making a big mistake!” She searched the faces, seeing no sympathy there. “She’s not your enemy!”

“Shut up!” A familiar voice interjected. Gabrielle looked up to see Toris among the blockaders, leading them against the soldiers pounding against the wagons.  “You little whore… get out of here!”

The rest of the servants arrived, and started pulling at the ones blocking the gates. Gabrielle was the only one mounted, and she could see the troops behind the wagons, hacking desperately at them. But Toris had planned well, and the wagons were filled to bursting with heavy crates, stuck in the opening and effectively stopping it completely.

She looked behind her, seeing only carnage, and Xena in the middle of it fighting for her life. “I’m not leaving!” She yelled, scrambling off Patches back and leading him towards the wagon. A man tried to grab her, but she ducked and rammed him with her shoulder.

Ow. That hurt. But it knocked him aside and she was able to dart between him and another man, and grab hold of the thick leather harness hanging from the wagon.

So many things here confused her. So many things were outside her experience, and beyond her very meager knowledge.

But this.. this she knew. “Keep them away from me!” She yelled to three of Xena’s servants. “I’ll pull the wagons!”

“Go!” The man nearest her yelled. “I’ve got your back!”

Gabrielle dragged Patches closer, desperately trying to turn him so she could throw the traces over his back. “C”mon, Patches… you gotta help me out here!” She got the leather straps over the pony’s shoulders and tightened them with experienced hands. “I know this isn’t your thing, but you know… this whole thing isn’t my thing but I’ve learned.”

Patches nickered at her.

“Gabrielle! Go!”

That was from inside the stronghold. Gabrielle recognized the Duke’s voice, and knew she’d been spotted. With shaking fingers, she fastened the last buckle, the one at the shoulder that would take the brunt of the weight of the wagon.

“Hurry!”

She ran to Patches head and grabbed his bridle, leading him forward as debris started to rain down on top of her. “C’mon, boy!”  Her pony was smaller by far than the brute who would usually pull the wagon, but he threw himself forward gamely, tugging against the heavy load. “C’mon.. I’ll help!”

It was crazy, and she knew it. She could no more pull the wagon than she could jump over the stronghold. But she dug her boots in and tightened her fingers on the leather, leaning her weight forward and pulling with all the strength in her body.

The leather creaked, but it felt like she was pulling against the stronghold itself. “C”mon!” She pleaded with Patches. The pony snorted, and lunged forward, his hooves digging out chunks of mud.

Gabrielle could hear wild chaos behind her, and screams. She just kept pulling, and after an endless moment, she felt her momentum start to go forward. “Yeah! YEAH!” She yanked frantically, her boots slipping in the soft ground, then gaining purchase and moving ahead.

There was a cracking sound behind her, then she felt something hit her in the back, then she heard a triumphant yell go up. Abruptly, the wagon moved faster, and she turned, to see a black opening in the gates, full of fighters now pouring through.

Axes rose and fell, chopping down the servants, who now turned and ran screaming as the warriors boiled out and attacked Bregos men.

Her wagon caught it’s wheels on debris and stopped moving, but it had done what she needed it to. Gabrielle stopped Patches and turned, searching for Xena with anxious eyes.

Then she was grabbed by the back of the neck and swung against the wagon with sickening force. Rough hands turned her, and she blinked the stars from her eyes as she saw Toris in front of her, his hands clenched in her tunic.

“We’ll all die. But you’ll die first.” He backhanded her across the face, and she stumbled and fell to the ground, stunned by the force. He stood over her and raised an ax in his arms, his face a mask of hatred as he swung at her.

**

Xena shoved two of her men forward, directing the battle now as the fresh soldiers from the stronghold joined them on the field. A ring of her own men surrounded her, and she picked out the rebel pockets, sending men to exterminate them with ruthless efficiency.

Something grabbed her.

Not physically, but regardless she felt herself pulled towards the gates, and her eyes swept over the area in startled confusion.

The battlefield stood still. She saw Gabrielle grabbed, and thrown, and hit.

She saw the ax.

She never remembered leaving the battle. She never remembered running across the bloody, churned ground.

She only knew in the seconds before she threw her body between that ax and that slight figure that it looked like the damn oracle had been right after all.

But it was all right.

She leaped the last bodylengths, her legs sending her out and sprawling over Gabrielle’s body a split second before the ax came down. Just a split second for her to meet the shocked green eyes, and grin.

The impact hit her back with stunning force, but…

But she was still moving, and by the god’s fickle grace the blade caught on  the plate of armor across her back and turned just enough to stop it from plunging into her body.

Xena went with the motion, turning over as the ax thudded into the ground next to her. One leg lashed out and kicked the boots apart of the man standing over her, and the other uncoiled and nailed him right in the crotch.

He dropped to the earth. Xena drew her dagger and leaped on top of him, straddling his body and lifting her weapon.

His eyes lifted to hers. Xena smiled with absolutely no humor. “Hello, Toris.”

Gabrielle scrambled over to her and clutched Xena’s armor, breathing hard. “Xe..”

“Ah ah.” The queen shushed her. “Never interrupt me in the middle of a good execution, Gabrielle.”  She lowered the knife to his throat, and pushed, it’s tip breaking skin and drawing blood. “Not when it’s this enjoyable for me.”

“Xena, wait.”

The queen turned her head. “Gabrielle.” Her voice dipped much lower.

“Don’t… I think it would be… “ Gabrielle could hardly catch her breath, and her head was ringing from the blow Toris had given her. “Everyone should see. He’s been against you all the time.”

To her surprise, Xena laughed. “He’s been against me since I was born.” She turned and regarded her prisoner. Then her hand lifted and descended, flickering fast, accompanied by a sharp crack.

Toris slumped, and went completely still.

Xena wiped her hands on her thighs and seated her dagger in it’s sheath, deliberately spitting on the man she was crouching over. “But you’re right, my friend. It should be in public. I’ll disembowel him right in the grand ballroom.”

Gabrielle exhaled. “He knows you.” She whispered, exhausted.

“Unfortunately.” Xena heaved herself off Toris’ now still body and sat down in the mud next to Gabrielle. “He’s my brother.”

Gabrielle blinked. Then she let her head rest against Xena’s shoulder and tried not to be sick. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Xena looked around the battlefield, seeing her men pursuing the remainder of Bregos troops away from the stronghold. “Kill them all!” She yelled at the top of her voice. “They all die!”

Gabrielle closed her eyes. “For saving me.”

“Least I could do after you disobeyed me yet again and were doing a great job of getting yourself killed.” The queen’s voice was mild, however. “Nice move with the wagon.”

“Can we go inside?”

“Not yet.” Xena flexed one hand. “I’m not sure I can stand up.”

Gabrielle opened her eyes and looked up in alarm. The queen’s  profile was etched in exhaustion. “Me either.” She admitted softly. “But maybe we could help each other?”

Xena held a hand out. “Best offer I’ve had all day.”

They stood up slowly together, using Patches’ harness to pull themselves upright. All around them the battle was winding down, and the ground was covered in the dead, dying, and wounded.

But the gates were open, leading the way home.

**

“Move it out!”  One of the stronghold’s drovers led the team now hitched to the remaining wagon, dragging it clear of the gates so they could be closed. The wagon rolled over ruts and bits of battering ram, and more than one body as it trundled past where Xena, Brendan, and Gabrielle were standing.

A pit was being dug. Xena’s men were dragging dead men over to it and throwing them in, while more soldiers were stripping the dead and dying of their armor and weapons, tossing them into the back of the wagon Gabrielle and Patches had so thoughtfully pulled out into the road for them.

“How fare ye, Mistress?” Brendan asked, looking up at his tall queen. “Was an unexpected battle, this.”

Xena nodded. She was standing with one arm resting on Patches back, and her other draped over Gabrielle’s shoulders. “I’m all right.” She answered. “We didn’t get Bregos.”

“Mistress, we don’t know the bastard was here.” Brendan said. “Given his hurts, I doubt it.”

The queen nodded again. “Find him.” She turned and looked directly at her captain. “I should have killed him on the field. I didn’t. My bad. Now I want his head on the carpet in front of my throne.”

“Has no army now.” The old soldier pointed out.

“Long as he’s alive, he’s a focus.” Xena stated. “I can’t afford that. We lost too many men.”

Brendan looked around, and his shoulders dropped a little. “Aye.”

“Who was leading them?”

Brendan hesitated, and then gave his head a half shake. “Didn’t see, Mistress. Thought t’heard orders coming from that hillock, but…” He pointed to piece of high ground, now empty.

“Ungh.” Xena pushed back from Patches warm side. “All right. Maybe he was stupid enough to announce himself to the guys inside. C’mon, Pony princess.” She gave Gabrielle’s blond hair a tug. “We conquered. Let’s go pillage.”

Gabrielle had long unfastened Patches’ harness, and now she took hold of his bridle to lead him back to the stronghold. The pony followed her agreeably, his hooves making little pocking noises as they pulled themselves free of the mud.

It was hard to believe it was over. The battle had happened so fast, life and death had resolved itself so quickly the details almost seemed like a dream. Gabrielle took a deep breath, and reached up to touch the side of her head. Except that Toris had hurt her, and the evidence of that was painfully apparent.

His hatred had stunned her. It had hurt more than the physical blow and to know now that he was Xena’s brother?

Too much. Gabrielle concentrated on keeping her boots out of the worst of the mud instead, until approaching squelches made her look up to see one of the stronghold’s grooms headed her way. Behind him, she spotted Xena’s stallion being led past, and she surrendered her pony’s halter to the boy as she gave him a tired smile. “He’s kind of dirty.”

“Aye, m’lady.” The boy patted the pony’s nose. “I’ll fix him up for ye.”  Then, hesitantly, his eyes slid up to Xena’s face as the queen stood by waiting. “Majesty, t’locked us up in the stable. We wouldna have no part of it.”

Xena studied him, then she smiled. “Didn’t think you would.” She commented. “Everyone knows I treat my stable hands better than my courtiers. Scram.” She watched him lead Patches off, and then continued trudging towards the gates.

**

Xena walked into the main hall of the stronghold and paused, getting a strange flash as she remembered vividly the first time she’d walked from the battlefield into this space all those years ago.

She looked down at herself, and found the same armor, the same blood, the same dirt, and the same horse manure, then she lifted her head and regarded the one major change in the hall facing her.

It was hers already. That and the huge portrait of her that hung near one end. Her eyes shifted downward. And the blond kid wrapped around her.

Weird. Xena sighed, and turned as she spotted the Duke approaching her. She greeted him with a grin, reaching out with her still drawn sword to slap him in the ribs as he came beside her. “Congratulations. You passed.”

He wiped a bit of mud off his forehead and ducked his head to one side. “Twas a close thing, Mistress. Bastards. Came on us but days after you left, said they’d take in any who’d join em.”

The queen’s blue eyes sharpened. “And?”

“Stirred up those belowstairs.” The Duke said, succinctly. “Troublemakers.”

Xena frowned. “Shoulda just shot them.” She remarked. “They don’t understand anything else.”

The Duke looked distinctly uncomfortable. “Had my plate full, Majesty.” He said, in an apologetic tone. “Didn’t think they’d..” He fell momentarily silent. “All happened so fast.”

“Mm.” Xena let her blade rest on her shoulder. It was caked with gore, and putting it back into it’s sheath in that condition was unthinkable. “Yeah,”  The pain of the battle was starting to make itself felt. “All cleaned up outside?”

“Mostly, yes.” He nodded. “Dungeon’s filling up.”

Xena’s eyebrows lifted. “I thought I said to kill them all.” She frowned. “I don’t want to waste time and dinars on prisoners.”

“Those from inside here, Mistress.” The Duke answered. “And there were some who surrendered outside when you rode in.”

“Oh, all right.” The queen exhaled wearily. “I can find all sorts of fun ways to kill them later, I suppose.”  She glanced down at the unusually silent Gabrielle, who was still tucked against her side. “Right now, me and the baby princess here are going to go wipe the horse shit from our faces. “

The Duke’s face twitched, but he nodded and bowed, his expression a cross between propriety and chagrin. “If I may say, you were both extraordinary.” He said, hesitantly. “Majesty, your strategy was brilliant.”

Xena slapped him with her sword flat again. “My strategy was crap.  Don’t start handing me midden water in a cup, or I’ll have you stripped and thrown in the pig house.” She warned. “We got lucky. Now go back to your room and write down all the details – who it was, how many men, when did he show up… I want it by the time I call court.”

Chastened, the Duke ducked his head and bowed, backing away and disappearing through the north archway.

Xena snorted, and shook her head as she started off towards the wide central stairs. “Y’know what, princess?” She remarked to Gabrielle. “The Fates must have guided you in picking that new bunkroom for us.”

“Why?”

“Cause I aint’ making it up those tower stairs.” The queen admitted. “Thes’ll be more than enough.”

Gabrielle fully appreciated the sentiment. Her head was still ringing  and she was sick to her stomach from the blow Toris had given her as well as from the fear of the fight. She slowly climbed the marbled, curved steps, her mind idly pondering over Xena’s latest pet name for her.

Princess.

Hm.

“Xena?”

“Mm?” The queen seemed to be amusing herself by seeing how much mud and manure she could remove from her boots at each step on the gleaming surface.

“I think I like muskrat better.”

Unexpectedly, Xena’s expression softened. “Do you?” She asked. “That really was the right thing to do with the wagon, y’know.” She added.

“Thanks.” Gabrielle just really wanted to sit down. “And yeah, I do. I don’t think I’m much of a princess.”

They crossed the upper hall, where soldiers were dashing to get into position to guard them, some fresh from the battlefield. Xena gave them a bemused look, but simply returned their respectful salutes with a wave.

There were no servants in evidence. Xena paused and motioned the nearest soldier over. “Make sure the people who came in with the army are taken care of.” She ordered. “They’re my people now.”

The man nodded. “Aye, Mistress.”  He put a hand to his chest, ducking his head as he turned and started down the steps at a brisk trot.

Turning, Xena yanked the door open to their new quarters. “S’allright.” She sighed. “Right now I don’t feel like much of a queen. We’ll just have to deal with it.”

One bright note occurred to Gabrielle, as Xena closed the door behind them. They’d be able to see if that bathtub was really as awesome as it looked.

She just hoped they didn’t end up falling asleep in it.

**

Gabrielle looked up at the soft knock, then she rose and went to the door. Opening it a little, she peered out to find one of the men who’d helped her pull the wagon standing there with a big tray. “Oh. Hi.” He had on a fresh tunic, she noticed, with a newly sewn patch on it bearing Xena’s crest.

“M’lady, I brought this up. Thought you might could use it.”  The man said. “Things were tossed up downstairs, but we’ve got em working again.”

“Oh, great.” Gabrielle said, opening the door further. “Thanks.. you can put it down there.” She pointed to a carved sideboard. She was dressed in a light blue linen tunic herself, her skin scrubbed pink to remove all the grime from it.  Xena was still in her bath, having more skin to scrub, and she’d sent Gabrielle out to pick her some clothing to change into. “Is everyone okay?”

The man set the tray down. “As can be, m’lady.”

“Could..” Gabrielle cleared her throat. “Could you just call me Gabrielle?”

“No, m’lady.” The man smiled to remove any sting. “Not unless her Majesty wills it.”  He straightened his tunic, his eyes dropping to the new patch almost unconsciously. “None want to cross her desires this day.”

“Okay.” Gabrielle said. “Well, thanks – I know the queen definitely could use a good meal.”  She waited for the man to leave, then she went to the sideboard and investigated the contents of the tray. “Mm.” It wasn’t only the queen who could use a meal. Her guts felt completely empty, but she resisted the temptation to sneak a nibble, putting the covers back on and returning to her task instead.

They had brought all of Xena’s things from the queen’s former quarters in huge, ornate trunks while they’d been gone, but the attack had prevented any further arranging. So Gabrielle found herself sorting through the fabrics of a lifetime in search of something for the queen to put on.

One whole trunk was gowns. Gabrielle ignored it. The next trunk was more ordinary court wear, heavy in silk and ribbon. Gabrielle ignored that too, pushing the top closed and trudging on to the next. “Ah.” She got down on her knees and sorted through the cloth, finally pulling out a soft, flannel dressing gown in faded crimson. It was unornamented, but it was gentle on her skin, and so it would be gentle on Xena’s, which bore so many scrapes and cuts it was hard to find a clear spot between them.

With a satisfied grunt, she picked up the gown and stood, catching hold of the edge of the trunk as her own exhaustion threatened to send her right back down to the ground. After a dizzy moment, however, she turned and headed for the bathing room.

**

Xena sat on the edge of the tub, gazing quietly down at her battered body. There were cuts everywhere, some now seeping light trickles of blood from her scrubbing, causing a multitude of stings across her skin. Her entire left knee was covered in a swollen bruise. Her right side was the same, above what she decided were cracked, but not broken ribs.

Her head hurt the worst, though. Aside from her original injury, she’d taken at least three hits during the fight, and broken open the cut on the side of her skull. Her hearing was gone on that side too, and she hoped it was a temporary affliction.

She looked up at the sound of bare feet against the stone, to see Gabrielle reentering the room. “Heard voices.”

The blond woman picked up a towel and brought it with her, gently starting to dry the droplets of bath water from Xena’s skin. “They brought some food up… the guys who were with us took over down there I think.”

“Ah.” The queen reflected on how good Gabrielle’s touch felt. She closed her eyes and simply waited, breathing in the scent of her companion’s clean body, and the almost tickly smell of the tunic she had on as Gabrielle moved around her.

“Oh, Xena.” A soft gasp. “Your head…”

“Hurts. A lot.” The queen acknowledged. “Bet I look like a Gorgon, too.”

A gentle touch parted the damp hair above the injury, even that light pressure making her skull ring. “You’re gonna have to do me a favor, muskrat.” She murmured. “Keep me awake.”

Fingers brushed her cheek, and she let her eyes open, to see Gabrielle’s concerned face looking at her.  “Why?” Gabrielle asked. “Don’t’ you want to rest?”

Gods, do I. Xena lifted her hand slightly and pointed to her own head. “If I fall asleep with this, I might not wake up.”  She watched her companion’s eyes widen in shock and panic. “Hey.. hey.. take it easy. I’ve got every faith in your ability to keep me from that fate.”

Gabrielle felt irrational tears forming in her eyes, and she stepped back a moment to regain her composure. A shaky breath emerged as she met Xena’s gaze. “S…sorry.” She wiped the back of her hand across her face. “Every time I think we’re okay, it just gets rotten again.”

Xena reached out and laid a hand on her thigh. “Gabrielle.” She waited for her eyes to lift again. “We’re okay.” She reassured her companion. “After all the crap I just went through, I’ll be damned if I’m not gonna live to enjoy lots of hedonistic nights with you.”

Gabrielle sniffled, and managed an embarrassed smile. “Sorry.” She said. “It’s been a really long day.”  She offered Xena the gown she’d picked. “I thought this would feel nice.”

Xena stood, and ignored the gown, gathering Gabrielle to her in a hug. “Now this.. feels nice.” She said, ignoring the various and sundry aches and pains.  “To Hades with the clothing.”

The window in the bathing room looked out onto the rear of the stronghold, a view of tall mountains and the crystal blue sky. A breeze blew in, raising goosebumps on both of them as they stood in silence together.

A stolen moment of peace, to revel in.

**

Xena was seated in the large, padded, almost throne-like chair near the windows, facing the bright sunlight so the annoyance of it would keep her awake. Next to her, Gabrielle was sitting on a huge fluffy pillow, her legs pulled up cross-legged under her.

“Here.” Xena speared a piece of roast duck on her knife tip, offering it to her companion. “If you keep licking your plate, I’ll have to have em put the gilt back on it.”

With a faint blush, Gabrielle accepted the tidbit, easing it off the knife and biting into it.

The queen watched her indulgently. “I’m gonna have to have you checked for worms.”

Green eyes flicked to her face in startlement. “Worms?”

“Yeah.” Xena said. “You’re like a horse who eats all day long, and you can still see his ribs. Means they have worms inside them eating all the stuff up.”

Slowly, Gabrielle’s eyes dropped to her midsection, then lifted, widening.

The queen chuckled softly. “Just kidding.” She ruffled Gabirelle’s hair. She noticed that her young friend was leaning against the chair, and if she shaded the light from her eyes, she could see that Gabrielle was a little paler than she usually seemed. “Hey.”

“Oh, sorry.” Gabrielle rubbed her eyes. “I was trying to think of a story.”

Xena touched the side of her head and tilted her face up slightly. “You all right?”

After a moment’s silence, the blond woman gave a half shake of her head. “I’m not sure.” She admitted. “But it’s nothing like how you must feel, so..”

No, that was true. Xena agreed silently. But she’d also had a lot more experience at it. “Something hurt?”

A breath. “Sort of. My head a little.”

Uh oh. “Did someone hit you?” The queen asked, slightly annoyed at herself for not noticing earlier.  She examined the blond woman’s skull, running her fingers lightly over her scalp until they stopped, touching a warm lump. “Son of a bacchae.”

“Ow.” Gabrielle winced. “That’s the spot.”

Xena leaned closer and parted the thick, pale hair. “Can’t leave you alone for a minute, can I? Did that worthless piece of crap brother of mine do this to you?”

Gabrielle hesitated.

“Relax.” The queen murmured. “I’m going to kill him anyway. This’ll just make it that much more enjoyable for me.” She heard the catch in Gabrielle’s breathing. “C’mon, muskrat. Don’t tell me you feel sorry for him.”

“He’s…”  Gabrielle lifted one shoulder in a partial shrug. “Is he really your brother?”

“Mm.” Xena tilted Gabrielle’s chin up a little.  “Close your eyes.”  She watched the blond lashes flutter closed obediently. While she counted to ten, she admired the gentle planes of her bedmate’s face. “Okay, open em.”

The green eyes appeared, the skin around them tensing as the light apparently bothered their owner.

“Ah.” The queen exhaled, seeing one dark pupil remain dilated. “Well, you don’t get to sleep either, it looks like. That’s a bad knock.”  She studied the huddled form. “Come on up here.”

“Up where?”

Xena moved over. “Here. Damn thing’s big enough for six of us.”

Gabrielle got up and crawled into the huge chair with the queen, curling up against her side. She’d been shivering slightly, but the warmth of Xena’s body immediately made her feel better, although their conversation had made her feel infinitely worse.

“Yeah, he’s really my brother.” Xena told her. “Worthless traitorous bastard that he is.” She offered Gabrielle another piece of meat. “Can’t believe he had the balls to come here… he had to know if I caught him he was a dead man.”

“You really hate him.”

“Hate?” Xena released a short, bitter laugh. “Did he tell you who he was?”

“No.” Gabrielle whispered. “He just… he said he knew you. He said you destroyed his home.”

Xena snorted.

“Did you?”

“Oh yeah.” The queen’s eyes were cold and remote. “Backwater little town… we’d gone there to… “ She hesitated. “Just do some trading. Figured it was as good a place as any to spend a few dinars.”

Gabrielle watched her profile in silence.

“Didn’t want to hurt anyone.. “ Xena let her head rest against the chair back. “He sold us out for a bag of dinars and the promise of a commission. Brought the army in while we were sleeping.. only thing that saved us was a gods be damned rooster they set off sneaking in.”

“Oh.”

“Whole place was in on it. Figured they’d make an easy buck on our hides.” Xena’s voice was quiet. “So yeah, after we escaped being slaughtered, and the army went after easier pickings, we came back and I burnt the damn place to the ground.”

Gabrielle remained still for a bit. “Did he know who you were?”

The queen nodded. “Oh yeah.” Another bitter laugh. “Went on an on about how glad he was to see us. His only family.” Her lips twitched. “And I was stupid enough to believe him.”

Memories of her childhood settled over her like bats wings. “It’s…  hard when your family hurts you.” Gabrielle finally said.

“Yeah.” Xena agreed. Then she took and released a deep breath. “So anyway… we’re supposed to be cheering each other up and keeping ourselves awake. Let’s can the maudlin memories and start kissing.”

“Okay.” Gabrielle agreed with surprising promptness. “But…”

“Whhhyyyyy did I know there was going to be a but there.” Xena tilted her head back and regarded the ceiling. “What is it, muskrat?”

Tenderly, Gabrielle reached over and stroked Xena’s cheek with the backs of her fingers.  “You know.. even with all the bad things my father did to us… he was still my family.” She said.

“And?” Xena peered at her.

“And… he thinks of you a certain way, Xena. Maybe you can prove him wrong.”

The pale blue eyes took on an almost gray glint as the queen looked at her. Slowly, one hand lifted and touched the lump on the side of Gabrielle’s head, and just as slowly, Xena shook her own.  “No.” She said, huskily. “He’s not wrong.” She traced a line down the blond woman’s face. “What did he offer you?”

Gabrielle met her eyes with total honestly. “Everything but the one thing I really wanted.”

One dark eyebrow lifted.

Gabrielle put her fingertip on Xena’s nose.

Xena blinked a few times, looking down before meeting Gabrielle’s eyes again. “Remember what I told you about families?”

“I remember.”

“Don’t forget it.”  The queen said. “Specially when we’re in court and I do what I have to do.”

Slowly, Gabrielle nodded in understanding. “I just thought I..”

“Shh. I know.” Xena put her fingertips over Gabrielle’s lips. “It’s all right. It’s a part of you. I know that.” She leaned closer. “It’s just not a part of me.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “You understand that?”

Caught in the circle of Xena’s arms, Gabrielle could find only one answer to that question. “Yes.”

“Will you hate me for it?”

“No.”  Gabrielle whispered back. “I just hope you won’t hate you for it.”

Xena fell silent, for a very long time.

**

“Once up on a time there was a little baby lamb.” Gabrielle felt her voice wavering, as she started on her third story.

“His name wasn’t Lambchop, was it.” Xena interrupted.

“No.” Gabrielle picked up her mug and drank from it. “It was Boris.”

“Boris.” The queen repeated. “You’re kidding, right?”

The light had started to fade, and it was moving towards a bluish twilight outside.  “No, really.” Gabrielle said. “The little lamb’s name was Boris, and one day when his shepherd took him, and his family out to graze, and amazing thing happened to him.”

“He got skinned and turned into slippers?”

Gabrielle smiled, resting her aching head against Xena’s shoulder. “No, he discovered that he could fly.”

“Whew. Thought he started talking.” The queen exhaled. “Damn it, muskrat. I feel like six day old horse crap.”

“Mm. Me too.”

Xena could feel sleep calling her insistently, and one look at Gabrielle’s half closed eyes meant the blond woman heard the same call. “C’mon. I’ve got an idea.” She said. “Let’s grab some cloaks, and go walk in your damn garden.”

They ended up putting on more than just cloaks, but eventually walked together through the hall towards the outside courtyards. The halls were full of guards now, all of them bracing to attention as the queen passed.

There were very few servants in evidence. “Reminds me of when I first took over this place.” Xena commented. “Just my men around.” She glanced down one long hallway. “I think I like it. Quieter.”

“Me too.” Gabrielle took the queen’s hand and clasped it in hers as they walked. “I remember the first few nights I was here… it all seemed so loud.”

The guard opened the doors for them as they approached, and they left the relative warmth of the stronghold for the cold air outside. Their footsteps seemed loud on the rock path, and they were indeed alone as they turned towards the gates of the garden.

Gabrielle could already smell it, the rich scent of the herbs, and the trees inside. She pushed the gate open eagerly and stood to let Xena enter, closing the wrought iron behind them. The last bit of sunset was just dusting the tops of the plants with crimson, and she walked over to a rose bush and sniffed a bloom appreciatively.

The queen watched her for a moment, then she strolled past the rose bush and found a small, leafy plant low to the ground near a moss covered old stump. “Ah.” She sat down on the stump and stripped some of the leaves off the plant, folding them over and putting them into her mouth.

They tasted fuzzy. Stolidly, Xena chewed them, trying not to think about caterpillars as Gabrielle wandered over to join her, bringing her rose along.

“Are you eating that plant?”

“Uh huh.” The queen nodded. “You ate everything else. What choice do I have?”

Gabrielle knelt down and offered her the rose. “Would you like to snack on this?  I think it probably tastes better.”

“Mm.” Xena plucked a rose petal and popped it into her mouth. “You’re right, it does.” She agreed. “But this stuff’ll help my head. Maybe.”

“Oh.” Gabrielle sat down on the ground and examined the plant. “Can I try some?”

Without comment, the queen handed her a leaf, watching with benignly impish eyes as she put it into her mouth and tentatively chewed it.

Immediately, her face wrinkled. “Ugh.” Gabrielle squeaked. “Thas…thas..” She poked her tongue out, covered with the fuzzy green matter.

Xena chuckled. “Yeah, it’s nasty. But swallow it – it’ll do you good.”

Gabrielle pulled her tongue back in and with a look of supreme fortitude, swallowed the fuzzy green bits. The taste was bitter, and somewhat musty, and she wished she had something to wash it down with. “Um..” She spotted an apple and got up, ducking around the queen and plucking it.  She sat back down and took a bite, then offered Xena the other side.

Xena leaned over and nudged it until Gabrielle’s bite mark faced her, then she sunk her teeth into it, twisting her head slightly to pull off a mouthful.

It was crisp, and cold, and if she really concentrated, she could just taste Gabrielle on it.

The queen licked her lips. “I think you just wanted an excuse to raid the appletree.”

Gabrielle paused, her eyes dropping. She offered Xena the rest of the fruit. “Sorry.”

Hm. Xena frowned. “That was supposed to be funny.”  She waited for the green eyes to lift, frowning again when they didn’t. “Gabrielle?”

“Um. I know.” Now, the blond woman did look up, slightly abashed. “I just used to get… “ She paused. “Back home, I mean. That’s how.. we’d get punished when we were bad. Sent to bed without supper… kind of thing. “ Her eyes flicked to Xena’s. “I was pretty bad.”

Without really thinking about it, Xena reached out and cupped Gabrielle’s cheek surprisingly horrified at the unintentional hurt her words had caused. “Hey.” She smoothed her thumb against the creases of pain on her companion’s face. “I’m sorry.”

Gabrielle blinked.

Xena tasted the stark unfamiliarity of those words on her lips. “Listen.” She drew in a breath, feeling an ache in her chest as she looked into Gabrielle’s gentle, trusting gaze. “If you want to eat the entire gods be damned garden you go ahead.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to..” The blond woman’s brow contracted. “I think I’m just really tired and my mind is kind of going all over the place.”

Xena studied her tips of her boots. “Yeah, maybe I am too.” She admitted, unable to explain the turmoil inside her any other way. “C’mon. Let’s see what else we can scrounge in here. Might as well get em before the frost does.”

“We don’t have to.”

“No.” The queen agreed. “But we’re gonna.” She stood up and extended a hand. “Come, my friend.”

Gabrielle took her hand and they walked together in the sunset, raiding the fruit trees of their late season’s harvest, sharing in companionable silence until the last light faded from the sky.

**

The dungeon was dark, and cold, and damp. Xena stood in the long unused back doorway of it, at the foot of a narrow, circular stairs that few in the stronghold even knew about.

She knew. Xena had made it her business to prowl around her new conquest until she’d seen every square inch of it.

Now, she let her eyes adjust to the darkness and cocked her head to listen to the sounds of fear and pain echoing softly from the stark rock walls.  With a frown, she lifted a hand to rub the ear that wasn’t working, then she sighed and started to move slowly along the wall.

It was a disgusting place. There had always been a reason Xena had preferred to kill her enemies than put them in here. A form of mercy, really. The queen glanced at the pits on either side of the main hallway, filled with dirt and water and plenty of vermin.

They were packed with occupants this time. She could hear the women sobbing, and at least one whispered prayer floated up to her.

Xena stopped and listened.  Then she moved on to another cell, this one filled with defeated soldiers. There were no prayers here, these men knew what their fates were, and most lay huddled in silence. Standing in the shadows, the queen watched them, knowing they would see her as just another guard if anything.

Finally, she went to the area where there were smaller cells, tiny chambers meant for a single occupant and filled with all the accoutraments of torture.

They stank.

Xena stood across from the last one in the row and stared at the prisoner chained to the rusty spikes inside it.  Toris was either asleep or unconscious, his features barely distinguishable in the low light from the torches set into the wall.

It had been years since she’d seen him. Two years her elder, he was tall like she was, and they shared thick, dark hair and blue eyes. But that was where the resemblance ended. His body was thin, with overlong arms and legs, and a flatter, more brutish face that shared none of her planed angularity.

How had she missed his being here?  Xena could see blood in several places on his linen servants clothing and by the angle of one elbow, she’d guessed it was dislocated.

Painful, no doubt.

Xena leaned back against the wall, suddenly realizing she was too tired to even feel the hatred she knew she held for him.  Here he was, her bastard of a brother and tomorrow?

Tomorrow he’d be dead, and she’d be the last of her family left on the earth.

The queen turned and walked through the arched front doorway of the dungeon, turning right down a dark, dusty corridor instead of heading up the flight of stairs that would take her back up into the stronghold. At the end of the hall was a door.

She slipped a key from her belt and opened it, the rasp of the metal lock loud as she pushed the door open and descended another flight of steps and came to a gate.

It was simple. Just wrought iron hammered into a plain but clean pattern by careful hands. Xena laid those hands on it and pushed it open, turning to set the torch she’d carried with her into a sconce just inside.

It was unprepossessing in the extreme. The walls were plain, but clean, as was the floor. In the center of the room were two stone crypts, one empty, the other not.

Against the wall was a carved bench. Xena walked over to it and sat down, resting her elbows on her knees and letting her chin settle on her clasped hands. In front of her the sealed crypt sat patiently, the simple crest and carving almost invisible in the low light.

She knew every inch of it anyway.  Every nock in the stone, every chiseled angle and letter had been done by her, in the long, lonely days after Lyceus’ death.  This was the one single place in the stronghold that was totally theirs – it had been nothing but a forgotten storeroom before she’d found it.

“You know, Ly.” Xena spoke in a low voice. “Sometimes I think you were the lucky one of us both.” She studied the carved name with pensive eyes. “But I had to come down here and tell you… remember that big argument we always used to have? You used to tease me all the time about what would happen to me if I ever fell in love? Remember that one?”

Echoes of her own speech answered her.  “Yeah, well…” Xena sighed. “You were right.”  She paused for a bit, rubbing her thumb against her knuckle. “You were right. Wish you could be here to see it.”

She sat there for a few more minutes, then with a sigh, she got up and walked to the crypt, laying her hands on her brother’s tomb. Her eyes closed, and she remained still for a few heartbeats. Then she straightened and gave the crypt a pat, as she circled it and headed for the iron gates.

It was time at last to rest. Xena closed the gates behind her and started up the steps, heading back to the wide, spacious expanse of her new rooms, where Gabrielle was waiting for her, along with Boris the lamb.

Tomorrow would be a new day.

**

Gabrielle woke in time to see the first light of dawn tinting the windows. She felt a strange sense of dislocation briefly, then she remembered where she was, and a soft smile crossed her face.

Their new bed, with it’s soft, feather stuffed mattress had been a surprise to both of them. Xena had assumed they’d moved the furniture from her former tower chamber, but they quickly realized that instead, the castle steward had restored the bed that had once been in here.

She ran her fingers over the rich, thick fabric, and the silk sheet covering them that glistened faintly in the coming dawn. It was draped over Xena, and after a moment Gabrielle snuggled a little closer, pressing her body against the queen’s, gaining a sense of warmth and security.

Xena was asleep. But Gabrielle could feel her breathing, her chest moving under the arm she had draped over her bedmate, and hear the slow, steady beat of her heart.

It was a very peaceful feeling. Gabrielle moved her jaw a little, heartened to find much less ache from the lump on the side of her head. It had felt so good to finally go to sleep last night, long after Xena had come back from her walk, long after she’d finished her last story, and they’d eaten dinner together.

She had been so tired. Too tired even to do anything once they’d crawled into bed other than nestle against Xena and let the exhaustion she’d been somehow keeping at bay all afternoon take her over.  She thought she remembered hearing Xena’s voice singing to her as she fell asleep, but it was hard to tell if that was really a memory, or just a wishful thought.

After all, the queen was exhausted, and injured too. And she’d seemed so quiet and sort of down before they’d gone to sleep.

Gabrielle watched the window panes begin to take on a light pink glow. I could have died yesterday.  The thought made her shiver, a little. I thought I was going to die.  She’d seen the hatred in Toris’ face, and the bright flash if sun on his ax as it came towards her.

It had happened too fast for her to be frightened, but not too fast for her to feel a sudden jolt of searing regret.

Of disappointment. She wasn’t ready to die yet. Gabrielle listened to the music of Xena’s heartbeat. She wasn’t ready to have her life’s journey cut so short, now that her road had lead her to walk along side someone she’d given her heart to.

Xena had saved her life. Gabrielle tilted her head up to study the queen’s profile. Not only had Xena saved her, she’d risked her own life to do it, and she’d taken that risk knowingly.

Those blue eyes staring into hers, for those few heartbeats, had reflected that knowledge.

THEN.. she’d felt fear. But Gabrielle hadn’t had time to think about it, because in a breath after that, Xena had taken Toris down, and it was all okay.

It was all okay. She gazed up, watching Xena’s eyelids quiver in some dream, a faint twitch working it’s way across her lips at the same time. What was she dreaming about? Gabrielle wondered. Was it the same kind of dream she’d had, a whirl of color and images, and the taste of rose petals?

Gods, she loved her so. Gabrielle savored the intensity of it, wanting a lifetime of mornings just like this one.

And yet, what would the rest of the day bring? She wondered. It would be great if they could have some time of peace, but she knew the end of this day would likely be in crimson blood rather than the soft, cheerful pinks and orange of sunrise.

But was it wrong? Having faced the point of a sword herself, she at last understood that there were things you cherished, people you cherished, that were worth doing violence for to protect. She felt strange thinking that, as though part of her had changed and become someone else.

Well maybe she had. Gabrielle pondered that for a while. It wasn’t that she wanted to see people get hurt, or to die, she decided, it was more that now she kind of understood why Xena did what she did.

Gabrielle laid there thinking about what that meant.  Did she feel that way just because she loved the queen, and that made what she did all right? What if she was one of the servants who had rebelled… and now she was in the dungeons. How would she feel then?

Lousy, probably. She sighed. But she wasn’t, even though she could have been. She’d chosen a different path.  The people in the dungeon also had a choice. No one had forced them to do what they did, even though she suspected that Toris had convinced them that they would be better off if they did.

Well, he’d been wrong.  Sometimes life was like that.  Sometimes you made bad choices and you ended up in a stinking dungeon, and sometimes you made good choices and ended up in a nice, comfortable bed with someone who loved you.

That was kind of harsh, she acknowledged, but it was also true. Sometimes you just got lucky.

Xena moved in her sleep, sliding her arms around Gabrielle and tightening her hold with a low sound of contentment.

So what would she have done if she hadn’t been lucky? Gabrielle stroked skin of the queen’s shoulder with the edge of her thumb. What if  Xena had lost the battle, and it was her down in the dungeon instead of Toris and Brego’s men?

Would she have gone with Xena?

Gabrielle imagined that. She thought about what it would be like if they were in the dungeon, facing death together.  “Hm.” She glanced up at Xena’s face, just as the queen’s eyes blinked open sleepily. “Oh.”

“Oh, what?” Xena asked, in a husky voice. “Oh, great gods I’m sleeping with a gorgon?”

“Oh, you’re awake.’ Gabrielle replied softly. “Now it’s a perfect morning.”

A tiny grin worked it’s way across the queen’s lips. “You actually mean that.” She remarked. “Don’t you?”

Gabrielle nodded.

Xena stroked her face, pushing bits of blond hair back out of her eyes with endearing gentleness. “Y’know, I dreamed about you last night.”

“Me?”

“Mmhm.” Xena murmured. “Just you and me, out by some lake, fishing.”

“Just us?”

“Just us.” The queen confirmed. “Summer day, butterflies… “

“Sounds perfect.”

“It was.” Xena glanced down and peeked under the sheets. “But this is pretty good too.”  She stroked her bedmate’s bare hip. “You’re a damn nice thing to wake up to, muskrat. I’m glad you’re here.”

Gabrielle snuggled up to her and gave her a hug. “I’m glad I’m here too.” She whispered. “I’m glad I came here.”

Xena was silent for a few heartbeats. Then she returned the hug, pulling Gabrielle tight against her. “We’ve got some work to do today, muskrat.”

“I know.” Gabrielle murmured, against the skin of Xena’s neck.

“It’s a stinking road.” The queen warned. “It’s a dark road. It’s full of blood, and death.”

A moment of silence. “But you’re going down it.”

“Yes.”

Gabrielle didn’t release her hold one bit. “Then take me with you.”

Xena buried her face in Gabrielle’s hair and simply held her, lost in the grace of a commitment she never expected.  This was a precious gift, and no matter her history, she knew it.  Gabrielle would go where she went, and suffer what she suffered, and Xena knew in her heart that the responsibility of that rested solely on her shoulders.

Well, all right then. “C’mon.”  She gave Gabrielle one final squeeze. “Come help me be the queen.”

The rising sun poured into through the windows, bringing cleansing light and chasing back the shadows into nothingness.

**

The great hall was filled to capacity. Ringing the walls were Xena’s troops, in full armor. Keeping a wary eye on them was a thick crowd of courtiers and nobles.  Runners sent out on the roads had recalled them all to the stronghold and so now, at sunset of the second day after Xena had returned, they were here, and waiting.

The throne in the room was, as yet, empty. On either side of the large, ornate chair, smaller chairs had been placed, and all three were decorated in stately cloth of gold draping and fall flowers. Two soldiers stood on either side, ramrod straight, armor glistening in the light of the candles spread over the room to give it an uncommon brilliance.

The two doors in the far wall opened, and banged back against the stone. The crowd turned and fell silent, watching as yet more soldiers came in, dragging prisoners with them. Men in stripped half armor, some bloody, some bound were thrown down into a cleared space before the thrones. Behind them came the servants, frightened and sobbing, shoved to their knees behind the men of war.

The open space filled quickly, as the soldiers kept bringing more prisoners.  Last of all, Toris was brought in chains, with a leather gag tied into his mouth.  He has a rope around his neck, and the soldiers drag him around like a mongrel before the watching nobles before they end up forcing him to his knees at the bottom step.

Brendan entered the room from the other door. In his arms, he cradled Xena’s sword, polished to an almost painful degree and seated in its worn, leather sheath.  With a quiet dignity, he slowly eased up the steps, setting the sword down on Xena’s throne reverently.

Then he circled the chair and came to stand behind it, his bearded face almost glowing with pride as he stood in that position of honor.

A sense of tense expectation now filled the room.  And yet, still the huge main doors remained closed.

**

Xena chewed neatly on a pheasant leg, as she perched in the window seat watching the sun go down outside. She was alone in the antechamber, having sent Brendan out after her captain brought her in a tray from the kitchen.

Outside, the cold, crisp air was separating the light into layers of surprisingly gentle pastels, robbing the sky of the blood fire she’d expected.

Still, it was impressive. Xena watched peacefully as the rays penetrated the leaded glass, washing over her skin and tinting it with color.

She had spent the day commanding audiences as her nobles had arrived, pinning their ears to the wall and extracting the information she needed from them one by one.  Now, she’d called her final court of the day, and everyone knew it was coming to the end for many of those she felt needed judging.

The door to her little refuge opened, but Xena kept her eyes on the window, knowing with a sense beyond her hearing or smell who the intruder was.  “Hey, muskrat.”

Gabrielle crossed the room and came to her side.  Xena turned around, looking her blond companion up and down in some surprise. “I know I threw something prettier than that at you.” She commented, prodding the shoulder of the tunic Gabrielle was wearing. “You don’t need to wear that.”

Gabrielle straightened a little inside the uniform. “I know.” She agreed softly. “But I wanted to wear it.” She touched the hawk’s head on her chest. “It kind of says something about who I am.”

One of Xena’s dark eyebrows cocked upward. “An adorable, sexy blond thing with terrible taste in clothing?”

Gabrielle glanced down and smiled.

“Okay.” Xena reached over and offered her a fruit stuffed confection from her goodie tray.  “Here.”  She waited for the tidbit to be taken from her fingers by a set of neat white teeth.  Picking up a cup from the tray she took a swallow of rich, white wine, then held the goblet to Gabrielle’s lips.  “Now. Let’s go take care of business.”

Gabrielle lifted her hand to wipe her lips, but was forestalled by the queen leaning over and removing the droplets of wine for her in a very thorough and intense way. She let her hand fall to rest on Xena’s thigh, feeling the strength of it under the heavy fabric of her regal robes.

They broke apart at last and looked at each other.  Xena held her hand out, and eased up from her seat, starting towards the doors to her great hall. She kept hold of Gabrielle’s fingers even as they reached the doors, and with a grand gesture, the guard flung them open.

Bang. Bang. Bang. The seneschal slammed his staff against the marble.  “All kneel for Xena the Merciless!”

Xena stood stock still, only her icy eyes sweeping the crowd as they did the seneschal’s bidding, hastily dropping to their knees regardless of their fine dress. By the foot of the dias, the Duke also knelt, bowing his head and touching his fist to his chest for good measure.

The queen waited until everyone was down. Then she strolled through the masses, Gabrielle’s hand clasped in hers as they headed for the thrones. No one met her eyes as she passed.

They mounted the stairs, passing the kneeling Duke. As Xena reached the top of the dias, she gracefully gestured Gabrielle to the right hand seat next to hers, and waited until her companion had settled in it. Then she sauntered down the steps and booted the Duke in the back, crooking her finger at him when he turned to look at her.

A little hesitantly, he rose and joined her and she towed him back up the steps and shoved him into the other seat.

Then she turned to face the crowd, and put her hands on her hips.

There was fear out there.  Xena could sense it, and she absorbed the feeling of power that gave her. “I commanded you all here to get a few things straight.” She paused, to let her voice echo off the walls. “I’ve been putting up with a lot of crap lately, and I’ve had enough of it. No more.” She barked the last two words.

As she expected, no one interrupted her. In fact, no one even met her eyes. Xena began to pace, prowling across her dais in front of the thrones. “I know there are those in this room who were betting on me never coming back here.” She said. “YOU LOST!”  She roared.  “How MANY people have to die before you LEARN?”

She stopped, and crossed her arms, glaring at the packed room. The effect was rather lost, however, since everyone kept their head down and didn’t look at her.  “Let’s find out.” She returned to her seat and drew her sword from its sheath, checking the blade carefully for nicks or carelessly left blood.

It was spotless, and razor sharp. Her eyes flicked to Brendan, and she allowed him a smile for the meticulous work, especially given the state the old thing was in when she’d given it to him.  Then she turned and walked back to the edge of the platform. “Bring him.” She pointed the blade at Toris.

Her men lifted Toris to his feet and dragged him up the steps. They held him up before her and she took a moment to study his dirty, bruised face.

There was nothing but hatred in his eyes for her.  Xena accepted that, understanding there was nothing in her that held anything of love for him in return.  “This is the second time you’ve tried to kill me, Toris.” She remarked, almost conversationally.  “The last time, I wanted to cut you up in a thousand pieces, but Ly talked me out of it.”

If he could have cursed at her, he would have. Xena could see his throat working, and his lips writhing around the gag. “I know what they’re all thinking. That I should have some mercy on you because you’re my brother.”

The crowd stirred.

“But you didn’t have any mercy on me, did you?” Xena placed the point of her sword against his gut. “You would have watched us both burn and taken your bag of dinars gladly, wouldn’t you have?”

He struggled against the guards, his eyes raking her with anger.  Xena stared intently at him, trying to read anything of their commonality in all that hatred.

Abruptly, she leaned forward, grabbing his head with her free hand and pulling him close to her.  She whispered a few words in his ear, then with a savage motion, shoved the blade of her sword into his chest to the hilts.

He writhed for a moment, then the motion faltered, and his knees buckled. Xena shoved him from her and yanked her sword free, motioning to the soldiers to release him as he fell to the ground.

A pool of crimson spread under him. Xena held her left hand up to the crowd, stained with the same color.  Her eyes swept around the room, absorbing the horror in the faces.  “That’s MY justice.”  She uttered, in a harsh growl. “No one escapes it.”

She waited to let the shock penetrate them. Then she slowly lowered her hand to her side, and flipped her sword in her hand, sending a tiny spray of blood droplets to taint the marble floor.  “Next.” She pointed at the first of the captive soldiers.

A pall of terror had descended on the room.  Xena could hear the muffled, choked crying of the servants as they felt death stalk amongst them, and the prisoner her men lead forward was almost being dragged, his legs unable to carry him.

They reached her and she stepped up onto Toris’ body, grabbing the soldier’s chin in her blood stained hand and forcing his head up to face her.

There were tears in his eyes.  He was breathing so hard and so fast it almost didn’t sound human.  Xena tilted her head and gazed intently at him, watching his entire body shiver in fear at her touch.

After a moment, she turned her head to look over her shoulder. Gabrielle was sitting where she’d left her, both hands clenched in front of her mouth, and her eyes steady, but glinting with unshed tears of her own.

Xena turned back to her victim. “You surrendered.” She addressed the soldier. “Why?”

For a second, he didn’t answer, shocked at being spoken to instead of gutted. “D…” His teeth were chattering. “Didn’t wanna d..die.”

The queen pulled his head up a little higher, and laid her sword on his shoulder, it’s edge touching his neck. “We were outnumbered five to one, and you had accomplices inside the castle. You were so sure you’d lose?”

Silently, he nodded.

Xena’s long lashes flickered closed, then they opened, revealing bright, blue orbs.  “Maybe you didn’t.”  She released him and stepped back, lifting her sword from his neck and letting it settle to rest on her shoulder.  “All right.” She addressed several of her men, standing in guard around the prisoners. “Take the ones who put their weapons down back to the barracks.”

Even her men were shocked.

“Treat em like new recruits. They sweep the floors until they prove they’re not as stupid as they look for going with Bregos in the first place.”

After a stunned pause, her men started moving, pulling the prisoners to their feet.  The reprieved men wavered on their feet, scarcely able to believe they weren’t going to die. They were led out, leaving the servants alone in the guarded circle.

“Bregos will be hunted until I find him.” Xena remarked. “He won’t be needing those guys and I might.”  She paused, and then she slowly sauntered down the steps and faced her last victims. Near the front were two women, holding onto each other. She stopped beside them and looked down.

They started shaking.  Xena tapped them on the head with her sword. “Hey.”

Terrified, they looked up at her.

“What’d he promise you?” The queen asked.

“F.. freedom.” The older of the two whispered.

“Uh huh.” Xena examined her sword. “Death’s a kind of freedom.”  She said. “Maybe he was right.”

A sudden hush fell again, a creeping fog of horror after the unexpected good luck of the soldiers.  But Xena took a step back again, and addressed the seneschal. “Take them all, and kick them out of the gates.”  She ordered. “They want freedom? Fine. Let em find it on the winter road.”

With that, she turned her back on them and walked back up the stairs, past Toris’ body, past the blood stains, up to the top step where her throne awaited her.

Where Gabrielle awaited her.

Xena turned and sat down, letting her sword point rest on the stone as she put her crimson stained hands squarely on the throne arms. “The queen is dead.” She uttered, in a tone half bemused, and half in wonder.  She looked up as she felt a warmth cover her right hand, seeing a splash of pale skin as Gabrielle’s fingers covered hers. “Long live the queen?”

Against her will, her eyes dropped to the body lying on the stone, and she acknowledged the twinge of regret that pinched at her heart.

Ah. The price of humanity.

Somewhere in all that, Xena found something to smile about.

**

“So.”   Xena was sprawled in the big chair in her chambers, one leg slung over the arm and her body covered in a rough, sleeveless blue tunic, belted at her waist. “What do you think, Gabrielle?”

Still in her tunic, Gabrielle set down the robes Xena had stripped out of and walked over to where the queen was sitting. “Think about what?” She asked.

Xena rolled her head to one side and looked at her. “Court.” She said. “Tonight.”  She shifted over in the chair and patted the surface invitingly. “You’ve been quiet like a mouse since we got back here.”

“Well.” Gabrielle perched on the edge of the seat.  “I was just thinking.”

“Ahh. That’s what I was afraid of.”  Now that court was over, Xena found herself thinking about the future, and about what life would be like now that she had someone bound and determined to share it with her. “Hey, know what?”

“What?” Gabrielle leaned lightly against Xena.

“That door over there goes into another couple of rooms.” The queen pointed. “Get your stuff set up in there, give you some space where you can…think.” She smiled a little. “You like that?”

Gabrielle’s eyes lifted to the door, then went back to the queen’s face. “You always did find me some of my own space.” She stroked her fingers along the skin of Xena’s arm. “I never had any at home.”

“I don’t think I did either.” Xena replied in a quiet voice. “Maybe that’s why I… I remember when I picked out those rooms in the tower for myself. All that space…and Ly just wanted someplace he could put all his stuff and not have to pack it away all the time.”

“This was really your first home, wasn’t it?”

The queen was silent for a few moments, and then she nodded. “I guess it was.”

Gabrielle hitched one leg up and rested it on her knee. “I know how you feel about that.” She said. “I remember when they brought me upstairs and gave me that little cubby outside in the tower.” A faint sigh. “That was the first time I’d ever had my own bed.”

Xena laughed shortly. “These rich bastards really don’t have a clue, do they?”

“No, they really sometimes don’t.”

“So.” The queen laid her hand on Gabrielle’s knee. “You like that idea? Those rooms? They big enough? Go look.”

Gabrielle obediently got up and walked over to the door, one she hadn’t really noticed earlier. She opened it and poked her head through, peering curiously into the space beyond.

Her eyes blinked. Then she pulled her head back into the big room and looked around at Xena. The queen was leaning on the chair arm, resting her chin on her wrist and watching her.  “Theres… a lot of stuff in there.”

“Uh huh.”

Slowly, Gabrielle pointed at her own chest.

“Uh huh.” Xena produced a pleased grin. She got up and came over, nudging Gabrielle through the door and into the new room.  Inside, she put her hands on her bedmate’s shoulders as they both gazed around at it.

It wasn’t a huge room, but there were a lot of windows in it. Xena guessed it had been the previous queen’s solarium.  She’d had a couple of comfortable carved wooden chairs brought in, with plush pillows on them near the wall of glass. On one side was a desk, piled high with parchment and quills, and next to that, a huge wardrobe with all the clothes she’d given Gabrielle, plus more.

“Oo.”

Near the back was a cozy daybed, and next to that, on either side, beautiful carved casements meant for scrolls.

Gabrielle walked to the desk and picked up a quill, it’s pure, white feathers twinkling in the candlelight. She turned towards Xena. “All this is for me?”

Xena nodded. “I figured…” She sat down on one of the chairs and looked oddly uncertain, clasping her hands between her knees. “I want you to be happy here.”

Gabrielle let her eyes wander over the space, so carefully chosen, and so thoughtfully filled for her. Then she walked over and put her arms around Xena. “I’d be happy sleeping in a basket at the foot of your bed.” She told the queen with bare honesty. “But this is wonderful. Thank you.”   Gently, she kissed Xena on the cheek, and then buried her face against the queen’s neck.

Mm. Xena leaned back in the chair and pulled Gabrielle into her lap, taking her reward for a long and in many ways difficult day.

It was a day that had seen the hand of her justice.  It was a day that had seen the taking back of her authority, in a way none could mistake.

A day that had seen her naming of a consort, and her public freeing of Gabrielle.

A day that had seen men crying with relief, as they scrubbed the floors of her army’s barracks.

A day that had seen women crying from despair as they were forced out the stronghold gates into the cold of a late fall night.

It was a day that had seen the death of her brother, at her own hand.

“Was it hard for you to do what you did tonight?” Gabrielle asked, softly. “To Toris, I mean?”

“No.” Xena replied, after a moment’s hesitation. “I looked into his eyes and all I saw was a hating animal looking back at me. ” She glanced down at the woman lying in her arms. “He wouldn’t have stopped trying to hurt me.. hurt anything that was close to me.”

Gabrielle reached up and touched her cheek. “But you’re sad.”

Xena leaned into the pressure, living the truth of the statement. “I am.” She admitted. “It was like you said – even after all that, the bastard was still my brother.”

“Mm.” Gabrielle nestled against her.

“Ly told me…” The queen went on, unexpectedly. “He said when I…. fell in love.. it would change me.” She hesitated, studying Gabrielle’s face, turned up to watch her intently. “He was right. The oracle was right.”

“The oracle? But I thought he said opening your heart would destroy you.”

Uh huh.” The queen agreed. “You destroyed me.”  She watched with a gentle smile as Gabrielle’s eyes went very wide and round. “S’allright. I enjoyed it.”

“But…”

“Really, I did.” Xena leaned forward and kissed her. “I don’t know what you’re gonna make of me in the end, Gabrielle, but  y’know, it’s gonna be fun finding out.”

Gabrielle looked past the leaded windows to the twinkling stars beyond.  Were they winking at her? High above, a ribbon of milky white swirled through them, seeming to be a ghostly road leading to a place she hadn’t yet imagined. “Well…” She put her arms around Xena’s neck, and returned the kiss. “I’ll try not to be to tough on you.”

They both laughed.

Maybe even the stars did.

**

The End. (for now)